My name is Anna Runkle: I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Complex PTSD (CPTSD). Because my work is focused on overcoming childhood abuse and neglect, you'll sometimes hear me use the term "Childhood PTSD."
I'm not a doctor or therapist. I’m someone who grew up with several alcoholics in the family, and all the dynamics that tend to go with that -- poverty, neglect, violence, and an environment of chronic, deep stress. In adulthood, the telltale signs of Childhood PTSD were all there -- health problems, depression and anxiety, relationship struggles -- but traditional therapies never seemed to help.
When I found what DID help, my whole life changed. For more than 29 years I’ve been teaching a program that anyone can use, whether or not they have access to professional help. I focus first on healing dysregulation, and then on changing the self-defeating behaviors that are so common for those of us traumatized as kids. I'm glad you're here!
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Wow, this person's childhood was SO MUCH like mine (complete with a violent brother whom I had to forgive over and over, mentally ill mom who either loved on me or exploded, and a trucker dad who showed up rarely). And I have had "love" relationships just as messed up, too. I feel bad for my younger self, she was desperate to be loved and only knew how to look for it in the worst possible people, because they felt like family.
Very good video - thank you! 😊
The title of this clip hit me deep as I was neglected as a child, unknowingly got 'caught' by a narc husband and now struggling to define myself, to be authentic. As someone who experienced neglect in my parents' house, it is hard to realise the impact, how it affects me and what I am missing. Because neglect is 'not loud'. Thanks for the video, Anna ❤.
We've all been there - looking for some guy to rescue us. Joining a 12-Step group and getting into regular serious therapy has helped me change myself, and my life. Not perfect but at least I can see the pattern now.
Lol ur videos always make me cry, thank you for ur work. Slowly but surely moving through this. Sending you love 💕
Disclosing to my therapist enough about my financial situation made me a dollar sign. She was not helping me, and didn't focus on my issues i came to her for and worried more about ridiculous issues that were not really a big deal for me. I had done much more healing via podcasts, reading, meditation etc. I only went for the sake of the extra support but she honest saw me as a dollar sign. The last straw was when she cut my session 15 minutes short. As in a paid for 60 minute session was cut down to 40 minutes.
I’ve completely and utterly isolated for my entire 60 odd years of life. I chose a very person centred job and I was great at it, compassionate, kind and welll, to be honest, awesome. But that was superficial, they didn’t need to see me out of my role, out of hours. Once I finished my shift, I just wanted to retreat back into my shell. I wonder if this is ok.
47:00 child like expectations.
This really hit home and opened my eyes to somethings I couldn't see
Sha looks like tylor Swift or tylor swift looks like her 😊
إِذَا غَضِبَ أَحَدُكُمْ وَهُوَ قَائِمٌ فَلْيَجْلِسْ فَإِنْ ذَهَبَ عَنْهُ الْغَضَبُ وَإِلاَّ فَلْيَضْطَجِعْ “When one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit down. If the anger leaves them, well and good; if not, then let them lie down.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4782) In this authentic narration, the physical action the Prophetsa recommends to escape anger is to change one’s posture and position of the body. Strikingly, modern-day research in neurobiology and neuroscience has now caught up with this 1400-year-old advice. While listening to Dr Andrew Huberman, Professor of Neurobiology at Stanford University School of Medicine and host of the esteemed science podcast Huberman Lab, I was pleasantly surprised to learn the following, after which the above hadith of the Prophetsa struck me. In his Work Optimization episode, Dr Huberman said: “[…] It turns out that your posture, literally the position of your body relative to gravity, also has important implications for how alert you are. […] Now with reference to posture, there are beautiful data illustrating that when we are standing up, those same neurons in our brainstem, locus coeruleus neurons, which release, I should mention, things like norepinephrine and epinephrine, those neurons become active when we are standing. They become even more active when we are ambulatory; when we are moving […]. But when you sit, they become a little less active, and when you lie down, and indeed, any time that you start to get your feet up above your waist or your head tilted back, those neurons fire less, and neurons in your brain that are involved in calming, and indeed putting you to sleep, start increasing their level of firing. It’s a really beautiful system.
Keeping silent The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Reported by Imam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Sahih al-Jami’, 693, 4027) This is because, in most cases, the angry person loses self-control and could utter words of kufr/disbelief (from which we seek refuge with Allah), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaq) which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short, keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that.
my mom took her anger out on me my whole life because she’s chased men around and i want to go no contact when i move out. my mom is one of those people that think a man is everything and she tells me i can’t wear shorts in my own house and throws in my face that it’s her house and i can’t do that around her husband
But question can your Channel also apply to adult ptsd. I’m dealing with ptsd from a highly abusive and traumatic marriage i recently left. I find a lot of this applies to me but not from childhood
Thank you for reading this letter and shine the light where it is needed.
Wow the flatness after the biggest anger episode. Is actually crazy. I just sit there quietly. Numb. Edge of my bed.
I used to go for emotionally unavailable partners and while dating, push away the ones that showed emotions. I've now married to someone who loves me unconditionally.
This story is kind of my life I was in 10 year relationship that should have ended many years ago he ghosted me few times throughout the 10 years what I'd like to know was this hin telling me he didnt want to be with me or was the using it as a controlling behaviour Thanks Anna love your channel have learnt so much appreciate all you do
This is great information. For those who are interested, read Matthew 10:36 in the bible. I have a relationship with Jesus . He is my only hope and peace.❤
What if you are abandoned after knee surgery at your 87 yr old parents. Recovering from knee surgery & also have pysotiatric arthritis, I'm in pain all the time. No friends.
It doesn’t seem like meditation and daily repetition would work for me. Tbf I have not tried it. But I really feel like I would not stick with it, like so many other things. How does that lead directly to re-regulation? I guess I should look at it again. I’m a bit afraid to do so.
I'm gonna be honest, I've been going through a lot lately and this video hasn't helped like I hoped it would. It's one of my core values that because narcissism is a helpless disease (there are no current examples of healthy, functional transformations yet documented in the field), that to be diagnosed with it some day is worthy of cutting off all contacts with those I feel that I genuinely love and care for and wouldn't plan to stay around for very much longer after. Narcissism, to me, is a trap. A defensive wall to which there is no crumbling. So, to be aware of my struggles with C-PTSD brought on by years of childhood neglect, sexual assault, physical and verbal bullying, betrayal trauma by past lovers and close family members, losing both of my parents before I was 26, and being scared to death every day of my life about whether having hope is a lost cause or not... among other things... Truly. I mean this with all due respect to you as an individual, and as a content creator who values self-knowledge and mental health education. From a wounded voice in me that's mourning another loss recently, fuck this video. I'm doing my best to put walls down. These claims make it seem like therapy, medicine, journaling, and various attempts to improve myself have been fruitless because anger is difficult to regulate sometimes. Neurodivergence doesn't mean some of us don't care, and it hurts to be compared with those who genuinely don't.
I know this person because it was me. And my heart and soul goes out to this person. So desperately needing that love to be reciprocated from someone who can't and never will. Oh how I wish I had a Crappy Childhood Fairy of my own way back when! It took a very long time but I'm not desperate and needy anymore. And I'm never alone because I've always got me.
Being alone, and being lonely are 2 very different things.
Thanks for sharing, I noticed these sorts of topics tend to be very one sided. Not everyone is the same and are naturally more of a lone wolf. nothing is wrong with that yet, it's pathologized. If you are content alone why change it? Relationships are not the center of your life, God is. and it's also not healthy to be overly dependent on people for your own happiness and well being... You also didn't address the fact that bad company is far more destructive than being alone.
I just put up boundaries and dumped crap-fit friends.
Same
Wow! Spot on. My Mother used to do it and I do too. Grew up in dysfunctional life with no supervision, no supports, raised myself.
I don’t understand why some even ‘try’ to be mean like this to others. I think they’ve got more problems than one with cptsd but unfortunately we attract each other
They don’t text me , ever. I blocked them without warning . There’s more to it. Sigh.
Anna, your videos are changing my life. Thank you.
The symptoms between adhd and asd are wild. Having to fix your face, feeling dis regulated with other people, losing things.
We're not all Straight....
Nah, take breaks between
I had it 2months and 7 days!
One of my therapists reccommended a program to help me build healthier relationships.... Sounds this might be a good idea for Bee to look at too....
I kept telling the man he was magical lmao and I really believed it. I mean he is a great guy but Ive never called someone magical before! As soon as I realized this wasn't natural I came out of it instantly!!! Today is my 1st day out of it and I feell nothing. No need to think about him other than discussing this condition, no need to break out dancing or need to listen to love songs! Lmao its silly to me now!!!
I had a dream and the person came in my room and stuck his hand through my chest and in my heart. I remember the exact day 2.5 months ago. I also remember before that day sometimes little things he did would slightly annoy me just a little. But once I had the dream he could do or say no wrong. He could say almost anything and I was on cloud 9k about it! Every day that I woke up to a msg from him I'd dance ballet all over my room. If I was thinking about him....WHICH I ALWAYS WAS Id be smiling through anything even my kids fighting and yelling!!! The worst part was the TREMBLING AND HEART PALPITATIONS!!!!
This is so beautiful thank you for posting this! 🙌🏻🤗
Your a very wise and learned human. You should gather the world leaders and CFR families together for a while. Maybe they would learn how to be Caring& Strong. Enough to help me.... doubtful. No worries I not the violent kind though have been violated with violence. Just to be honest, I Iike being alone.
That last part❤ was not true. I am done ●
You really are a fairy. Thanks for all the advice.
I love how engaged Anna is when she reads the letters. She really cares about her community.
She gives useful names to so many conditions and situations. Today's new term is "intermittent reinforcement".
That's a real word. I was not the clever person who made that up!
I pre ordered the hardcover within 10 minutes of your email, can't wait to get it in my hands in October!!!! Soooooo proud of you, and to be following you Anna!!!! And thank you for helping me save myself!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Oh, thank you! It's been so fun finally sharing this with the world!
Anna I prefer when you read the letter through and make commentary on the second pass. I want to hear the person's story fully first.
Noted.
Thanks so much 🙏 I struggle with procrastination and I am working on it. I appreciate your story ❤
"Only date people who are excited to date you." That's LITERALLY never happened to me. I can't get ANY romantic attraction from ANYONE I actually value without chasing. I have to lower my standards sooooooo far down to find someone who is excited to date me. 😂
10:52 when someone pulls away you become desperate to pull them closer which is a trauma response that doesn’t make sense
That's it right there!
I think they should have jusy released a 3-4 hour long movie.
Thank you for saying what I can't I have a wonderful therapist whom I've been able to talk with and who understands since my CPSD diagnosis in 2009. The first to help and I am 63 yrs old so no help for 61 yrs and now her and finding your videos recently . Suffering from an end stage illness, with her and now you I'm learning about CPTSD and that I did not do this to myself. Your knowledge and calm voice have given me an understanding and courage to keep moving forward with this. You give us hope and I thank you with all that I am, God bless you
I don’t remember anything that happened to me as a kid (maybe I’ve suppressed it). Although my father, while not an alcoholic or habitual drunk (nearly!), would get drunk, come home, and try to provoke each one of us into an argument. He could sustain standing in front of you for HOURS, saying the same drunken gibberish and asking if you thought you were better than him, or stating something and saying aggressively ‘isn’t that RIGHT? Eh?’ This made me suppress ALL forms of self expression, happiness (because why be happy when all I have to look forward to any minute is THAT?), anger, requests for help and attention, and shows of or demands for affection. I am 54, and have grown up hating people for being expressive and joyful and outgoing and communicative, seeing girls then women (who have ALWAYS PERSISTENTLY rejected or ignored me) as scheming sluts who tart around with any other man but me (jealousy and self loathing, I think). I don’t know what it’s like to have a girlfriend, and I have neither ever had sex nor kissed a female. I long for their companionship, but at the same time I’m frightened of physical touch, feel bitterness at the female race as a whole for preferring ANY man but me. I think I have haphephobia too because a firmer female colleague, after we bumped into each other, asked me if I was ‘ok’ to be hugged.
Story/reason starts at 2:00