Have you had situations that weren't able to let go of for a really long time although you knew you should have?!

@JohnDoe-np3zk

3 жыл бұрын

The problem is to understand the situation, to want to be in the situation in your mind, but the reality in the end probably precludes you landing there. It's pretty amazing what one can learn from a google search and especially if someone has posted a lot of pictures that tells a lot of stories. Then the real life interaction with that person becomes more interesting if nothing else it's kind of fun and called being ahead of the game.

@jacklatimer8428

3 жыл бұрын

For years.

@simovtransportmedia1137

3 жыл бұрын

This is interesting. I have this problem with people, but not just people. I was 3-rd year in the university in 2016, when I bough myself my first moped bike. It serves me perfectly till the late August 2019 when the old engine broke down. My father bough me other machine, not without it's problems and in 2020 I made few expensive effords to reborn both of them still believing that it's possible to, but now none of them work. Now it still bothers me when I walk into the garage, but not so much because now I know that I have reached the end. It's the same with people. I never let go easy. It's a necessity for me to try at least two times before I find that I have reached the end point and that mostly takes me one or two years of constant struggle, but in the end when I have spend all my energy on something that did'nt work I begin to understand that that thing or that person is not a thing for me and then I move on finally and begin to take my current position as a positive because first I learned something and second I believe that life is automatically guaiding you to your best possible.

@sojourneroftheland

3 жыл бұрын

Girrrl! You hit the nail on the head! This is exactly how I am operatibg. Its difficult, but I am moving in the right direction day by day. Exactly like you said :) Thanks

@viktoriavandermeulen5509

3 жыл бұрын

Dear Wenzes, I am so happy to listen to you.... I am 56 now. Recovered from a serious childhood trauma, living a pretty ok life in a new and fantastic country with my hubby and son, being creative and learning a whole lot about INFJ now.... I have a business idea - and I am making those small steps... I am not one who would give up. OMG, how big fighter I am... And I can see how difficult it was to come out of the bad circle - and how fast I am improving now. I have just learnt to surf the waves I think. Think about that I could get a new job now, after being bullied and humiliated in a toxic environment. I found a new job which takes me closer to my big dream!! I am listening to you a lot and I do make my small steps and I am very grateful for all the improvement. I think my strongest skill is to believe in myself. I actually do not know where I did get it from.... I guess it comes from my seriously troubled mother. She could hate me and believe in me like in a God, I think. She completely destroyed me - but I guess she also planted this irrational believe in me somehow... I do not know. It is a big puzzle.... But I am moving forward, changing my mindset all the time. And working on my subconscious level in my music therapy (GIM). Thanks for your videos. You are wonderful. I now start believing again that I will make my dream true.....

As an INFJ I've done this my whole life. I'm trying my best to let go of things that simply are not healthy or will never happen. I will say this... Having learned so much about myself (INFJ) from your channel has helped me to target certain things and realize when I'm doing something, and then able to redirect myself to let go of something. Like, an awkward interaction with someone I might have a crush on, and I think I acted weird or awkward, and I obsess about it to the point that I drive myself crazy thinking about it. Now I know if i start doing that, I should just take a few deep breaths, and tell myself not to worry about it, and move no. Why stress it? That interaction was meant to happen that way, no matter how much I wish I could have changed it. If she thought it was cute that I was flustered or awkward, then she'll want to talk to me again. If not, she'll just think i'm a weirdo. 🤣 Either way, we don't need to stress ourselves with things that we cannot control. That's adding more stress to our already stressful lives with things we CAN control, but might not be able to change the circumstances overnight.

@Wenzes

3 жыл бұрын

😉👍

Omg, thanks for saying this outloud. As an older INFJ, I obsessed over some people for decades. I hate to say it, but it used to be true. I used to hang onto people that were once in my life for what really was a season, but because we were fond of each other once, years went by and I ruminated quietly and missed them, and could not let go. But I finally realized, like a revelation, that what we had was not nearly as impactful for them as it was for me. They did not feel crush of "love" that I did. Not really love, per se, but pretty intense and beautiful feelings that made me feel high because they accepted who I was. It was ecstasy for me, kind of, and probably just really good to them, right? My idealized vision of our relationship, which was mine alone. Once I got it, it was all gone. I just let it go, instantly, and never looked back. It was powerful. Anyway, thanks. This I could just so relate to. Good stuff!

This is so accurate, i feel exposed. Awesome video, i was doing that subconsciously thinking it was random. now to know that its actually the INFJ Process

Omg you just posted the topic I needed to hear about at the exact right time. Wow. Thank you so SOOO much, again, Wenzes.

@Wenzes

3 жыл бұрын

😀👍

@-lavender-777

3 жыл бұрын

I just wanted to write your comment lol!!

Only thing INFJ expects is there CHOICE for their own life’s journey.

holy... how did you know so much about me? This is incredible.

Wenzes and Frank James are like having two INFJ older siblings passing down life advice, it's so fucking useful and makes my life so much better! :)

Haha, I do have this problem for sure, but I'm also kind of putting things into perspective when you talk about being obsessed by a person for YEARS... It's only been like 6 months for me, I guess it's not that bad after all 😆 I'm not ready to let go until I'm convinced I've tried everything, but I'm definitely not going to remain stuck in this state for 6 years. I think it's very true that we CANNOT quit cold turkey. It has never worked for me before. The only way to get over an obsession, for me, is to let it die, and/or find a new one. I will eventually get tired of an obsession that is not working for me. I hate the emptiness that exists between a dying obsession, and the rise of a new one. It's so much easier when the new one pushes away the old one!

As the video goes along, I am reminded of the lyric “singing my life with your song”. I feel like I’m relieving everyday situations just by watching this video. The INFJ addict. I get a high from knowing I can reproduce the same experiences over and over. I know I’m not creating much which I why I try to reproduce good feelings. I’m afraid to change or take the next steps to make things happens because it would be great to have a champion but I’m my experience no one is going to do so but myself. It’s willingness to make changes in slow-motion-agonizing but worth it. It’s hard because I feel like I lack the validation to keep my slow speed and tortoise🐢 momentum. You’re singing my life! It feels like a video tape a movie I keep buying a ticket into seeing and like it’s too risky sometime to change. I’m Really wired. It’s an obsession of the mind. For me being an INFJ feels like I’m obsessing one thing after another obsession. “Co-creation with environment” I feel like I’m always scheming to create. That’s the creative part of me. I feel like that’s the part of me that goes unacknowledged by others. I want the freedom to create with out being pegged into a little box.

@gosegomareme6365

2 жыл бұрын

killing me softly🔥

Expectations keep you stuck in the past 🔑

We are ALL IN ❤️ Stop thinking, and start FEELING like a true INFJ

@ryanunderwood5465

Жыл бұрын

I wished it would of been that easy too😋

A nice trick is using one's imagination to put that situation somewhere else or that person inside someone else's face. Let me explain, we feel we'll get something from that situation or that person. So we can imagine ourselves having those same feelings finding a different situation or person. Because this different situation or person is/does what we were expecting. Say you realize someone is not a real friend, so you can imagine the amount of fun and deep connection you wanted to have. But you just received the news that, this person is still out there waiting for you. So you can keep imagining these great things, but they just so happen to be somewhere waiting for you. Because whatever you had just now, was a just a glitch in the matrix for a second. That way is easier to see it as a fake and less valuable thing you can let go off.

Thank you so much for this video 💜 I believe there must be some kind of collective energy amongst us INFJs or something because you uploaded this video in the the moment I needed it in my life since I need to let go of illusions/fantasies I have with people etc & the truth is I struggle & suffer with letting go alot

😂 my most extreme case of this illogical obsession was meeting this absolutely random guy in a group chat, immediately knowing i want to be with him, only talking for a few weeks then suddenly no contact for a few years, randomly talking to him again online and then several months later we meet and end up in a 3 year relationship. We are still talking and are the closest ppl in our lives. Made absolutely no sense why i was drawn to him in the first place. That INFJ intuition is just different

I had to learn all this the hard way..by myself. Any INFJ watching this video, and not completely understanding what she is saying: Watch. It. Again. !! It will save you so much time, energy and pain if you let this knowledge take deep root in your innermost being. 🙏

OMG this is SO true!!! How hasnt anybody told me this before?? This is what got me stuck in a narcissistic relationship for 3.5 years!! Thank you @Wenzes

Short term high that's what I m exactly doind right now..

Oh yes, so often! About persons, about topics, about so many things...

Focus on the love in your heart, and I promise you everything you’re hearts desires😘😇

I needed this so badly! Im grateful to be watching this

Thank you...I need this!!!

I just cant believe its finally happening! been looking for this answers for so longg... Thank you so much 🚀🚀

You're video comes in my life at the perfect moment 🥰

one of your best video…thank you

As always, Wenzes speaks the truth. Watched twice.

Thank you for this, once again. This is what I really need in my life right now. I hope I can apply this in my life.

all your videos are always so comforting and eye-opening. even when i sometimes click ones that i didn't particularly think i needed, they end up making me realize so much. thank you so much for the effort you put into them

Exactly what I needed hear right now. What a gift. Thank you!

Great presentation x I spent yesterday trying to move - change - accept that unmovable rock in my life and woke up today feeling overwhelmed and a failure. Your presentation gave me the truth and the answer. IT isn't going to change but I can change and not keep setting myself up for failure. I am looking for the NEW thing today and feeling less of a failure. thank you x

Wenzes!!!! This is soooo on point! 🎯🎯🎯Thank you for this! Yes...im taking one baby step at a time. Becoming obsessed with my new self-chosen career path and the slow but powerful growth instead of the old job which became a deadend, the disappointment of the so-called business partner who never was, and expansion of an old business that flopped in one market but can possibly thrive in a new one. Soooo uncomfortable but gradually building the momentum.😍😍💕💕💕😘😘😘 the accumulation of your past videos helped me to acknowledge and be honest that i was stuck and to hv courage to move on to new ideas and territory. Love you! Blessings to you!

I just love you. Thank you very much. Really. -INFJ

Wenzes, this is such good advice. Thank you.

This is so much like what I've been doing these past three years. I can't put my finger on a specific date of making the actual choices, but I remember choosing to relate to people more authentically. It meant scrapping a lot of preconceived notions fed to me by others. It also involved a commitment to behave in an honest but civil way when possible. Basically, it meant taking a lot of techniques I learned when younger, but redoing them in a way that fit me as an introvert. I thoroughly agree that its a process and we learn in little steps at a time. But the little steps add up - and believe me, it's made a difference! 🙂

Thank you for helping me understand myself better and improve my life. Great content!

I really need this video now, thank you Wenzes

Thank you! I really needed this 🙏

Omg wenzes this look suits you and makes you look sooo cute!!!! Love it!!! ♥️♥️♥️

what I want to know is why we do this ? why are we that obsessed and struggle letting go ?

Hoorah, wenzes has uploaded again. I liked the subject of this video alot. Keep up being an INFJ rock star 🤟😎🤟

@Wenzes

3 жыл бұрын

😊👍

Thank you @wenzes! Working on someone I need to get over on.. and had tried all the usual advices. Hopefully this will help me to finally move on. Thank you ❤️

thank you so much, true

I'm one minute and 59 seconds in and this just reminds me of when I told a friend of mine that I can no longer remember who I was a year before I became friends with him, I literally remember saying something along the lines of "me before today is a life I no longer recognize"

I needed this so much...this confirmed my method of letting go of a very painful relationship. Infact I have been creating something new since last year and this surely works. I am still struggling yet I have come a long long way. So INFJs listen to her...she is telling the truth.

@marmadukescarlet7791

3 жыл бұрын

Something that helped me begin to move on was realising that they just didn’t get it. Yes, they chose how they behaved but didn’t have the self awareness to understand their own motivations. In fact, in their mind, because they’d been hurt by others, they had a right to do harm. Might sound terrible but this helped me understand where they are at and so, somehow be able to move on.

Thank you for this video❤

Great vid wenzes, i like puting an hour everyday to create a new thing , I will try that, thank you

Five to seven years? If there is a person who really meant something to me at a certain point, I actually never really stop obsessing over them to at least a small degree. While I get to the point where I am fine without their actual presence in my life (this usually takes a couple of months), I still look them up on social media periodically after years and even decades, and actually I don't even know why. It's like each of them have left some kind of residue that is now part of my identity and that I can never shake off entirely. And just recently I started obsessing over somebody again after more than 20 years, without any particular cause. Does this sound familiar to anybody else? Apart from that, thank you so much! Finally an explanation why "no contact" does not work effectively for me. This really puts things into perspective. 🙏

Killer thumbnail!!

@Wenzes

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks 😀

@dorotaem6621

3 жыл бұрын

@@Wenzes 😙✌️

Have I had situations where I wasn't able to let go of for a really long time although I knew you should have ? ! Yes. I had rented a home for 8 & 1/2 years. I look back, and I could have bought a home earlier than I did rather than feeling that I wasn't able to pull it off. Don't get me wrong though. I do really like the home I bought & have lived in for the past 7 years. I've been able to get some things done out here.

We are born of unconditional love of course we are obsessed 🤩

@ryanunderwood5465

Жыл бұрын

Truth, Peace, Love ❤️

Literally true and you are really an idol and also I have an question Is everytime every minute we have to working on infj epic?

@Wenzes

3 жыл бұрын

You can relax of course, no need to work on it all the time

So beautiful message. Thank you so much. The question is does it work or not? Is this TE? from this i have to move on. And create a new thing.

💛

Letting go of your perfect imagination of how things should go, this maybe one of the most breakable things, after building the castle and put all your faith, believe, effort and all creation , now you have to build something more perfect more creative, sometimes I ask do I really have the power and ability to create something more emotional more creative more inspiring And yes it seems impossible but No All we need now is to Hope.. Wenzes can you talk about the dark side of Infj, I can't accept my dark sides and it make me feel I'm not a real human always try to hide them, not only for being a perfect but I see them too dark really dark that I can't talk about them specifically to those I care about

i am always obsessed with girls, so much that i cant move a nail in that direction, would like a way out of this madness

😊

Did anyone ever have a friend in your life who wss fanning out on you?

If course infjs can go no contact and it does work. It involves a lot of thought and some grieving but I don’t get why this woman goes on about how that is not right or possible for us.

🧚‍♀️❤❤

one of your best video…thank you