What does it look like when you snap? Have you ever thought about integrating this part into your day-to-day life (just not as extreme)?

@baronesselsavonfreytag-lor1134

2 жыл бұрын

The example you gave of stopping a new colleague from the start was really helpful. Will you please share more examples of boundary setting phrases to model this? I give people way too much leeway because I don't want to embarrass them while they are shamelessly lying, or it takes 24-48 hours for me to react when I should be angry. I have tamped down my ego from a very young age and rarely allowed myself to feel anger because I rationalized away others' behavior, now I don't know how to handle anger when it does come up and I feel it literally making me ill because I process so much physiologically as you described in another video.

@kymelatejasi

2 жыл бұрын

I can snap in two main ways: I either get really angry and start yelling or I disappear into my room and don't communicate with anyone until I feel like it. Either spill over into everyone else or completely shut down. I don't know how I could integrate these into day-to-day life...

@simovtransportmedia1137

2 жыл бұрын

This make me smile. I have smashed my relations and my image so many times by being the dagger through someone's heart and many people still have negative feelings about me because of this and take me us psychically unstable, but we all INFJs have been labeled as crazy in some point so why shoud it matter, it's part of us and all the world's progress have been driven by crazy people. The unique thing about us is that as we grow up we develop the ability to get as much as possible from our Ni on conscious level and that is actually a superpower. As we are kids Ni is working all on subconscious level and I myself have been shaking on a emotional roller coaster every day and yes as I look back now I was psychically unstabel, but that is what make INFJ INFJ. We were forced to overcome our worst anemy within us - our Ni and turn it into our unique gift and by overcoming our own selfs at one point in our lifes we get to the point that by been forced to overvome such a tough challenge we are now able to overcome almost everything.

@matthewvoorhies7840

2 жыл бұрын

I'm curious 🤔 would you say the advice you give is gender neutral?

@goteamslugs

2 жыл бұрын

@@matthewvoorhies7840 I don't see why not. Because it's the same personality, it would be perfect for best pointing out differences. Interesting to think about.

It's dealing with narcissistic people pushes me to that snapping moment. These people are my family. However if I snap it's for very good reason. And that person needed it.

@mashalahmad4705

2 жыл бұрын

same.

@zempirians

2 жыл бұрын

Sad, they obviously aren't worth not wearing a mask and demoting them in your life...

@maybee...

Жыл бұрын

Agree, narcs are hard to endure on a constant basis.

@jessmason2112

Жыл бұрын

No doubt.

@andresrogersa

Жыл бұрын

no contact is the only way friend

The snap is not a short temper. It's a long buildup, because we try so hard to resolve things. It happens just a few times in life, and it scares people. I'm working on it, because it's awful.

I'm afraid to hurt someone. I'm scared of my own strength when the adrenaline rush hits after being provoked over and over again and my kindness being taken advantage of

@TyGee777

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed

@melearina

2 ай бұрын

Omg agreeeed

We snap when we've been backed into a corner

@TyGee777

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

This explains a lot - like why people would get so freaked out when I did the "snap." It hasn't happened a lot, but when it has, it's always been a doozy. Basically, I freaked people out, and the ones most shocked were often those who before had told me that I was "too accommodating" or "too soft on people.'" I appreciated your explanation that it isn't the "door slam." Perhaps the door slam and the snap can happen during the same incident - but they're different from each other. I think we all reach a point where we're sick and tired of the whole situation and I'm sure that all personality types get fed up. But for us INFJs, it's particularly distinct. I liked it when you told us about the changes you made, how much it helped you and is still helping. I've done similar things myself but your explanation clarified a lot.

@kencornwell

2 жыл бұрын

I was going to comment, buy you explained it very well indeed. INFJ

@lindateuling7862

2 жыл бұрын

@@kencornwell 👍

@mashalahmad4705

2 жыл бұрын

yeah the same thing happened to me a few days back and I'm still at the "snaping" stage. the snap doesn't happen easily but when it does it feels like I have no other choice but to react and I hate reacting like that you know. It's too honest and too hurtful but I'm left with no other choice.

INFJs possess what I call “The Luke Skywalker Shot” - it’s that one shot that is well aimed and penetrates so deep and strikes at the heart of the weak spot. It utterly devastates.

We are trying to be patient with those we care about, until that moment we have had enough. I know this energy, people learn your boundaries real quick.

That's the weird thing, people are taken back by my SNAPPING, but what- they think they can just ride you and ride you, and not expect you to SET THEM STRAIGHT!!!

@lifelessonswithjo

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly!

This should be a PSA to all the people that try me instead of trying Jesus. I rarely snap but it happened about a year ago and -- there were not enough pearls to clutch. I doorslam (preventative) appropriately so the snap doesn't have to rear its ugly head often. I usually operate in love but sometimes audacity comes at you fast.

Long before I knew anything about mbti, I was always afraid of snapping, I felt if I snap I will get in trouble, this carrys over to my adult life. So I pretty much never snap, even tho sometimes I should. Then after, I think of all the ways I should or could have responded but I don't.

@MetaTron3693

2 жыл бұрын

I totally relate to revisiting with what I should have said or done.

@maryjane2965

2 жыл бұрын

Omg yes! Shoulda, coulda, woulda!The replaying of conversations or imagining the way they should have went and all the stuff I should have told that a** about themselves..

@HaleyMary

2 жыл бұрын

I can relate and there are times in my life when I have snapped and have always had a negative reaction from my parents or acquaintances. It's like I shock people when I stick up for myself or sometimes I raise my voice without realizing it and it's usually when it's a situation where people belittle me, such as when peers treat me as a child and act like I don't understand something. I think I snap because I'm sick and tired of people not believing that I can succeed at something. And I'm not even talking about big goals, more so little things throughout the work day like co-workers treating me like I can't understand a task. I never know how to tell people not to belittle me without exploding.

@Mark-lx2bh

2 жыл бұрын

I do the same, and it never goes away. I still think of what I should have done in situations when I was a kid. Lol

@matthewvoorhies7840

2 жыл бұрын

@@HaleyMary right! It's like when other people snap, people back off. But when we snap we are automatically the worst people in the room and now we're are taken even less seriously. I will be trying a new approach to this, I hope it makes a difference. 🙏

The reason we can hurt someone so deeply is two fold. 1. We know their actual faults. 2. The love we have with others is so strong, the reaction is x10 as it's only those closest to you can really hurt you deeply. 3. It catches people off guard as we rarely if ever react so strongly. Not in that order, but 2 is most influential. They will sometimes devote their life to seeking revenge once we are triggered and react inappropriately.

@misskiranpaul

10 ай бұрын

Agree with the revenge part. The people then wait to catch us at our weakest to exacy their revenge.

When I snap, one of 2 things happen... If I get mad, but I still respect you, I will just shut up and walk away, so I don't say something (usually brutally honest and truthful) that I will regret exposing about them later... Or, if I don't like them, I'll let them have it, and either embarrass them mercilessly or expose them to the whole world for who/what they are. This is why I try not to get mad about stupid things that don't matter, because I am extremely ruthless and brutal when I actually get to the point of anger. So I try to stay passive because the horns really come out when I reach the point of true anger.

The buildup to a snap sometimes takes years. People who have abused and\or disrespected me repeatedly, they might receive an email or a text that exposes every negative thing about them, and their mental issues, with possibly a few insults thrown in for.good measure. It usually makes me feel ashamed to have used this devastating weapon.

I just don't understand why people want to provoke people

@peagle109

Жыл бұрын

Look into narcissistic personality disorder

@busubalang2361

3 ай бұрын

They just want you hurt but don't think about the reaction later.

Great video! My particular thread hold boundaries are lies or jealousy. If I have become friends with someone and find that they are Lying or becoming deceitful to me I have learned to cut ties gracefully instead of turning into the hulk and blowing up on them. Jealousy is another one of my pet peeves because I as an INFJ have a lot of interests and knowledge that I tend to want to share with my friends. If I notice that person starts to exhibit jealousy because of my knowledge or talents again I will distance myself from them in a graceful manner. I cannot stand jealous people. I cannot recall any time in my life that I have ever been jealous of anyone else whether it’s because they are smarter than me, more talented or attractive or make more money than I do or whatever for some reason I just don’t have a jealous bone in my body so perhaps that is why I detest jealousy so much. Thank you for all you do for the INFJ’s community!

whenever i snapped i always get super sad after and the guilt is soooooooo bad after like i regretted the way i acted and shouldve kept it inside

I had no idea Cameron Diaz did KZread videos. Go Cameron! x

This is crazy that this video just was posted because I have been experiencing the same cycle recently of just snapping. And it’s caused not so much damage to relationships but shock because people don’t know me to be this way. And I get really embarrassed and traumatized myself from my approach of bursting out because I wasn’t ready and it ends up being too much all at once. I am an INFJ and your videos have really helped me so much to try and change my life around and step back and reanalyze my role in relationships and to stop the struggling parts and cycle. Thank you wenzes.

Boundary setting. Same old topic, new wrapping. Indeed, we can't get reminded enough about the importance of setting boundaries in order to keep ourselves inwardly balanced and calm. Snapping hurts, not only others but oneself, it is definitely not worth endeavoring such a behavior. I guess the key is self-improvement and self-control, the latter not when being on the verge of snapping (for if one has reached that point, then there is no turning back), but when interacting with others so that one refrains from giving him-/herself away completely to the other. Snapping is doubly painful, on one hand one feels the anger flowing like lava, but on the other hand one also feels guilt out of remorse for having exploded. A rather dreadful cocktail of feelings indeed.

Simone please don’t put yourself on the back burner. Your needs are just as important as anyone else’s needs. We all have boundaries and it is healthy to have them. 🌻

I'm wondering if I have been afraid to seem masculine? Assertion - Expressing oneself- Letting yourself be seen culturally are masculine traits - Would like other women INFJs opinion on this 🤔

@dorotaem6621

2 жыл бұрын

If you're still choosing to keep yourself small because you're afraid of what others may think of you, then perhaps you just haven't hit rock bottom yet 🤷

@sonofhibbs4425

2 жыл бұрын

@@dorotaem6621 ☝🏻what she said…. And what Brittany L. Cobb said. You eventually get to a point where you just can’t with the ‘’staying small’’ to appear feminine or ‘’proper’’…because you repeatedly get taken advantage of- or you’ll get tired when they will try. I have to say, I’m not comfortable in asserting because I feel masculine when I do, but you’ll see you actually gain more respect (from men) when you aren’t ‘making yourself small’…..the problem with that though is, I think as a woman like this, you will get approached less by men because it’s intimidating, but no worries, in the process you weeded out men who are just looking to feel “bigger” by having a non-assertive female they can dominate (read: abuse). They haven’t learned the difference between true leadership/masculinity and perceived strength through aggressive dominance. There’s a huge difference and it’s what makes a shit husband vs. one you’d lay down your life to help, support and respect. Each gender, in order to be a more stable version of their sex, has to integrate within themselves the good traits of the opposite sex. It’s a conscious effort. It’s also why people who grew up with no opposite sex siblings have a more difficult time in making marriages work. The two genders are very different, but have something equally important to share when they grow away from their own inherent weakness of their sex. So, don’t be too alarmed by feeling the masculine within. It actually means you’re ahead in the game and it has a balancing wisdom to teach you. Obviously don’t take on the negative male traits as you weed out your own negative feminine traits.

@Mark-lx2bh

2 жыл бұрын

@@sonofhibbs4425 I agree. It's just like she said and I have learned as well. You can't let it go that long. Set boundaries, and if it's crossed, say something. We tend to let it go til we just can't hold it anymore. Then snap and it all comes out at once. The problem seems to me everyone is all or nothing. Assertive women and men take it to the max. The opposite way is also true. Women seem to seek guys like that. Finding as you said "shit husbands." Men dont want a woman with those traits for anything but a hookup. Many times not even that. No matter how good they look. Absorbing that energy, literally feels like being with a man. Which is not what they're looking for. Unless theirs way overpowers it. Men really don't pay attention to weak/strong. Unless it's overboard. The ones that do, you don't want. At least for a long term relationship. A common misconception.Just like they don't care about your career or how much you make or even if you have a job at all. By "weeding out the ones that just want to dominate." Your also weeding out a big portion of the ones your looking for. Double edged sword. These days the man that's (mistakenly) called an Alpha....Stay away from. Those are narcissists, 99 out of 100 times. Leadership through dominance, because they need validation from others. Find one that's confident. Which is approaching you at all, really. Approaching you like it's easy is over confidence. A very bad sign.

@nadzirahfarhah3423

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@marshmallowvampire8503

2 жыл бұрын

I would love it if more men felt comfortable being stereotypically masculine. Don't be pressured into being masculine, but if you feel like there are traditionally manly things you would like to be, go for it. I think it's fantastic when a man can take action, endure, help people, have confidence, or likes sports, and be comfortable with being some or all of those traits (among other things). If those things come just as naturally as your kindness, humor, humility, or whatever other traits you have, you should do it. There are people out there that will appreciate you for being manly if that's genuinely you.

I am very tolerant of people's personalities but when I see injustice I am very vocal and at times lack any mercy

Yeah, snapping is not pretty but very true that it's my own fault for letting things get that far and letting people use you as a doormat. I let it go on longer than I should have but it's sad because you're just trying to help the other person in most cases but being an observer and keeping quiet just gives them that leverage over you and a false feeling of power within themselves. I've had to pull that cannon shot straight to the soft spot a few times, there are still a few people on my bucket list that need things said but so far I have maintained a healthy distance and so have they so I assume they know what I am capable of. Snapping will always hurt you no matter if you win or lose or at least that's how I feel because I never wanted to put anyone down in the first place, I wanted the person/s to be happy and comfortable so the best thing is to just set the boundaries as soon as you can like you said.

Had this happen recently where a friend said that they were trying to back away from the group but started to exclusively ignore me in the group. The disconnect from what they were saying and what they were doing was what really broke me.

@roseaduke8835

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. Two-facedness can break an INFJ's ford.😡

Although I lightly snapped recently, I brutally snapped many many years ago in front of my mother. A few months ago, I found out that my mother is afraid of me when I get angry. Told to me by my sister. My mother still doesn't know that I know. That was an eye opener and it made me a bit sad too.

@momof1576

Жыл бұрын

Meh she shouldn’t push you too far.

Yes we can hit their actual core issues, without love or discretion if we are triggered. Solution, never let an issue get to that point or near that point. If someone does something bad enough to trigger us without warning, choose door slam over exploding, or at least take 1-3 months off as appropriate.

The amount it takes me to snap is extremly high, cuz I can take a lot, even when I shouldn't, I can take a lot. But the few times people have caused me to snap, it was definitely intense. For example, my psycological abuser that I grew up with did all the different things in combination with each other to trigger me to snap, and because of that I went into a dead calm state, and simply and articulated clearly every possible thing that could hurt her the most, and I essentially broke her. I also made her afraid of me for months and months after, but yea, that's the example. I never use that power unless its absolutely nessassary, because I know the repercussions, but sometimes I gotta, and its not fun

I snapped last year when I was a stressed out college student. I felt overworked and yet there were so many people on campus who worked more hours than me and still had time for fun extracurricular activities. I only did one fun thing that also was my go-to stress relief, working out. I went to workouts that the Dean held for students. I got really close to him through the workouts and my work that I did as a student in the office he worked in. He knew me so well! I am an INFJ and I believe he is an ENTP. I unfortunately broke my leg last February and was trying to live a few more days so I could go to the Superbowl party with friends. I use a wheelchair, so it wasn't causing me any problems as I didn't have to walk on it. I spent the day before I broke my leg with the Dean. I was very stressed out, so he decided to do a spontaneous workout with me! He was also in the process of making a device so I could use all the equipment independently, though we both preferred working out together. He had to come by my dorm the morning I broke my leg because I borrowed something of his and I couldn't get out of my dorm due to a snow storm. I was stuck in my room all day knowing something was wrong, but the reason I wanted so badly to attend that superbowl party was because it was the first, and only, weekend I spent there. I didn't love living on campus. The only person who understood me was the dean. He knew something was wrong when he came to my dorm, but I refused to tell him since I knew he would immediately want him or someone else to take me to the ER. I blew up at him and said the most hurtful thing to him. I said, "you can't fix everything." This was hurtful because he is always the person to help students, not just me. He helped me with almost all of my problems I had while I lived on campus, whether it was homework related, mental health, or something physical such as fixing my wheelchair. I hated that I blew up and said that to him, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I was still trying to be a student and come to terms with how I would continue being a student after this injury. I graduated in April last year and I still find myself missing him and the life I had on campus, even though I hated so many aspects of it. He made it survivable and he always knew how to help me!

Sometimes people need to hear the truth to wake up.

So very true, you have lived in this very deep human experience all of your life. It resonates with everything you are saying and I fully agree with the anger. I have always saw it as "intelligent anger" that is laser-focused on one who fully deserved it. I have shown that side since I was very young

I've snapped a few times surprising the people in my life so much I left them speechless. I have to say it was justified in every instance but because I had so often been silent during the abuse when I finally spoke it was shocking. But when your stepfather is making demands and the power comes up through your body from your toes to the NO that roars out of your mouth, when you finally tell your narcissistic mother how she failed so completely at parenting, when you land a few home truths on the heads of those who made lies their truth, it's justified. And in the end, it also led to door slams that comforted me in their finality. It's about boundaries and it was also about protecting myself. Finally.

"...because that person didn't deserve any better." (0:57) Damn straight. It's a righteous anger. Always. And the words just find themselves with a voice that barks like a police dog on attack.

I don't really make too much of a big deal with most things, but if it's something extreme, I speak up a lot sooner than later. Some things or people I just don't feel are worth wasting my energy on.

as I watch this video, here's what arises in me... pain, pain, pain. paralyzing emotional pain. crippling. I'm an INFJ, an Old Soul, an empath, with severe C-PTSD, minor SPD, and some OCD tendencies. this makes living in this world, on this planet, extremely hard. I have diabetes, I have a debilitating back injury. I have never had a friend. I have never been in a relationship. all of this makes me wish to die. I can't bear it.

@matthewvoorhies7840

2 жыл бұрын

Covert narcissist won't get any attention in here.

@person4.0

2 жыл бұрын

I'm very sorry for all of your pain.

I started to notice a similar tendency in myself after I read a story by Harlan Ellison about how he relates to his wife Susan; she told him that when they argue, he holds back. That he's not as passionate as he thinks he is, or that he reduces himself. Harlan of course refused to believe it until Susan pointed out that he could DESTROY her in any kind of argument, but he chooses not to. He asks her, "Why would I do that?" and she beams and replies, "Because you LOVE me." And he said, "right!" it was kind of an epiphany for him. Never forgot that story.

I compartmentalize most aspects of my life. I’m coping with a recent, severe boundary breach. I’m in near-snap mode, even alongside my everyday cheerful attitude. If I snap, as you’d mentioned in so many words, the truth will hit them hard. I’ve more than signaled and communicated my good intentions, and to be sidelined with an outright challenge to my word has proven to be a no-go. A dealbreaker. I try to avoid the door-slam, but I’m close to shutting down all contact. I’m *trying* to work through the issues - but I refuse to take responsibility for others’ distrust for me. Yikes.

I so needed to hear this! Thank you! :)

You're videos are amazing and you have a purpose in this world helping us fellow INFJs cope with terrible bloodsucking people. I had my share of terrible narcisistic relationships and friendships. For a long time, I snapped but nowadays I just ignore and move away from them, not acknowledging their maladaptive behavior. You are awesome and pitch perfect in your analysis, Wenzes. Thank you for enlightening all of us.

Omgoodness, Wenzes this is so accurate. 🔥

I am so happy I found your channel. I can relate so well. (I only recently found out about Briggs-Myers and that I’m an INFJ). You are delivering very helpful guidance in all of your videos. Thank you! 🙏🏻 Wish I had these insights at a younger age!

That video came right on time! Thank you so much for it 💓 For years I didn't realize I didn't express where my boundaries were because I tried to protect them that way. But I've been working on it for the past two years and now I was forced to snap at my psycho family and cut ties with them. I really love the way your videos give me insight, strength and determination ❤️

Ugh yes I snapped at my business partner. I quit the business . She’s and ENFJ and is freaking out. I’m taking a vacation next month to clear my mind and “we will discuss” a new dynamic when I return but it’s not gonna be the way it’s been the last 4 years. Totally caught her off guard.

So happy I found your channel - it’s better than any therapy I’ve ever tried, legitimately. Everything you say in every video is so on point and helpful. I used to snap on people and door slam, but reigned it in as an adult. I actually almost snapped on someone recently and realized it would not be fruitful. You’re great, Wenzes.

I've experienced this and it's on point. I don't want it to happen again. Thank you, Wenzes. I will remember and apply those things about boundaries. I am in the process of changing myself to not only be in the background and you are one of the guides for this endeavor. 😊

Just went through this today Thank You Wenzes

Every word is fact ….. you nailed it!!

This one really hit home and it hurt. But it brought me new understanding and insight. Everything comes with a price. Thank you - Richard.

This has helped me, "Not my circus, not my monkeys."

Thank you so much for making this video... I've snapped before and I don't hide as much anymore.

As an INFJ, I am normally an easygoing laid back person even if I get angry, I keep it inside of me. But there are those days to where I just can't take it anymore and I will burst into anger. People that witness that who know me will stand there in shock and tell me that they have never seen me that mad before. It's like filling a balloon up with too much air which causes it to burst. The same thing applies with us INFJs getting angry. Us INFJs can be very misunderstood.

Great video. Reflecting your life's events. More meaningful that way.

I just recently snapped and it did hurt the person so much. The problem is I always tell people my boundary, but they KEEP crossing it, all the freaking time. Distancing myself from them is the only way for me to not reach my breaking point.

This channel is saving my sanity. Often feel I go way to far when I do snap. I’m am growing as well but this channel is wonderful

Definitely true. I've snapped a few times and not only shocked others but myself also especially the first few times it happened. It took me a while to recover from the feeling of anger, though justified, I did not like the feeling I had lost it and gone too far. I've learned to deal with it better, and truly, these days I anticipate by setting boundaries and giving warnings to avoid myself snapping. Watching your videos, I'm learning and understanding myself better. 🙏😍

Thank you so much for this video, they always open my eyes to key concepts I shouldn't ignore! I've had this backlash come up exactly as you describe a few times in my life, and I think I never truly considered that my needs should be more important to me than managing other key peoples needs. Oddly, It's only when I've kind of demoted a relationship and they push the envelope a bit too far that this pointed backlash comes out. Working on regular transparency has been huge for me, especially at work. Like a few others on the thread here I have close interaction with narcissists in my family, and I can't help but wonder if it's related.

this channel is reaaaally helping me undesstand myslelf thanks wenz

Damn , speaking from my soul

i am really grateful for this i knew i could "snap" and i have started to say my limits to others and i feel much better especially with suffering ADHD, anxiety, depression now i don't get mad as often but with the way my "family" is it's near impossible to set barriers because they are right I'm wrong and when i do i get punished quite badly (like i could lose everything in my room for a month sometimes) ,with the way my dad and brother behave it can make it so hard to do anything or have an opinion (best way to put it my dad and brother are control/ narcissistic freaks my brother hates my dad and vice versa) it's hard to do anything with out "conflict" but my mum is the only one who understands my limits and lets me be me with some limits she even helps me thought hard times (her limits are 1, 12 year old ankle injury that wont be fixed ever "thanks Australia" 2, being new Zealand we can't do much either different

Thanks for doing this video. Only recently have I realized I must let it out in small bursts and set boundaries. It’s too easy to keep my mouth shut and not say anything but it must be done

I think when you react earlier is also healtier in a way that you are then more authentically your real self.

Resonate so deeply. I think the greatest power behind the snap is the truth that's dosed with it. I agree, now in my 30s I don't have snaps...i have more internal control but in a peaceful way, I definitely more comfortable with boundaries and my needs/desires. And not being scared of confrontation ...but the practice of diplomacy through confrontation.

I am definitely a monster inside. Angel or monster nothing in between.

Thanks for this.

Pretty much yes

Perfectly said

This is so accurate

Thank you Wenzes; this makes perfect sense for me! I (INFJ) am usually a "Lamb" but there are people that turn me into a "Lion." Thank you for helping me identify where and when I need to set boundaries with others...

You are wonderful thank you for sharing your heart.

This is so true....

This so fits

Sometimes it comes out because the other person deserved it.. yes we hate doing it.

Ok, Love the comment maybe "I went a little overboard" so 👍

INFP- T here and I’ve experienced this too. People are so shocked 😬

I explained my boundaries a number of times to my ex ! The only boundary was whatever happens in our future together never ever cheat on me. As you can guess she was cheating on me , I then discovered that she was a serial cheat and it was completely normal for her to do this ! I’ve been completely heartbroken by what happened but I’m slowly recovering . I’ve exposed who she is in the hope that it protects some future victims, i have felt very guilty at times about doing this but I probably shouldn’t as I’d clearly explained my boundaries 😢

When I want to snap I go into hiding and I have to process my anger. When someone asks me what's wrong I tell them I don't want to talk about it now please don't take it personally. So many emotions are happening I can't put what I'm feeling into words... yet. I sort all the emotions out put each one into its own box and analyze what and why I am feeling it. I have to understand it first before I can talk about it. Anger is scary especially when I think what I want to with it. My knee jerk reactions would not be a pretty sight lol

The edge is miles away.... Takes a while and a lot to push me there. But that edge turns into a wall in a split second. Amazing the power that comes from it. Not that I like upsetting people but that's when it happens

Snap! Oh Ya. The person had no idea why I had changed. Thankful it was over the phone. The energy I felt ….enough is enough was far over the top. And not necessary. And the anger I had afterwards lingered far too long leading to emails and a puking of all the frustration and condemnation from years holding on to it. It’s the only time I remember doing such a thing. I had had an operation the day before and I was on a shit load of meds. Totally not myself and so much regret the magnitude of the judgment I throw out there. No way of fixing these things because the hurt goes so deep for them. Most humans don’t understand the phycological response that goes on in the heads of others. When you know better You do better. Thanks so much. 💜🌟💜

I did this yesterday. 4 years of not saying some things made me be brutal yesterday to the person I care about the most. I regret the level of coldness and harshness I used and wish I could have given the information in a more tactful way. I've been learning so much about my own emotions in the last month while simultaneously processing my 47 years of observing, mistakes, successes, meltdowns, happiest moments etc.

Thank you you really are so unbelievable

Wow Wenzes, this was me yesterday! I told my daughter I'm either at a trickle or floodgates... No middle. Truth came out in an ugly way when I felt my loved one was not treated fairly. Yup, really ugly.

I’ve snapped a couple of times recently, unfortunately. Once to set a boundary, which was ultimately successful but did make for an uncomfortable few weeks while I waited with baited breath to see if my friend got the message and decided they did indeed still want to be friends LOL. The last time was a few days ago and was completely unintentional; I was just over-tired, hangry, and frustrated. I recognized right away that I had made a mistake and quickly apologized.

Thank you ! I snapped when my doctor told me I had cancer.I am NED now ( no evidence of disease.

I came across this video seeking to figure out why I snapped so hard that I had an outburst into screaming, trying to get this other person to leave me alone and quit trying to have the last word, after telling this person many times over to go away because I couldn't deal with the situation in that moment. I even said I'm to upset right now to engage on the subject any further in that moment. I eventually left, after a second round of screaming happened, still raging upset trying to leave the situation, I hit a wall heading to my bedroom, putting a hole in it and slammed my door behind me to get away from this person... I guess that's what really scared this person. Then this person started texting me. After several attempts to get this person to stop... it just got to the point I finally said some very direct and pointed stuff to get it to stop... two days later now, this person hasn't said a word to me. I have no doubt they were shocked to see me at that level of intensity with anger and saying the things I said. This person perceived me as a pushover and had even said as much as "advice" in discussions with me. In the very moments the rage itself was over, I was having huge regrets because this is so out of character for me... I can put literally many years between these kinds of outbursts... they literally drain me to a point I just ache all over. In the video something that was said... In that moment I didn't care anymore if the relationship was severed over what I had to say. 😢 No, this was not a spouse or significant other... this is someone I invited in my home trying to help for a couple of months while they got back on their feet. There were other underlying things I needed to address with this person that hadn't been addressed yet, but it was coming. This only made things worse without them even knowing it. I am a INFJ-A I have taken the test a few times over the years thinking it may have been wrong... it's not. This is probably why I was even seeking this video out to see if or why such an unusual outburst behavior was common of an INFJ... 🤷 The internal anger is so true... I'm just wondering how often that internal anger becomes an out right outburst like the situation I explained above?

I enjoy feeling like I am making a positive difference in the lives of others, but there is an absolute monster lurking within me. I am aware of it. I can take a lot of crap off people. Too much in fact. But when I reach my limit it is incredibly brutal. I don't raise my voice and go ballistic, but my ability to totally destroy the ego of someone who has driven me to this point I do so with choice of words and logic and telling it like it is in such a cruel, hard, F You way. Once I have shattered them into so many pieces they can't be put back together again, it is such an endorphin rush.

There’s a Dark Triad in my midst & it triggered me to “snap” yesterday/today.

Last month I snapped and slammed at the same time! I can breath today!

I hate when I snap but at the same time it sets a tone and issues a warning for those that wanted to try me.

Try using your anger and convert it to total love for those who cross your boundaries as it takes them by surprise and they realize how much you care but understand you could have crushed them.

Everyone seems so surprised when I snap, they do remember. My partner says he is scared of me when I snap even though it has never been against him, eg a homophobic neighbour who allowed his dog to "use" our garden. He says I really hit the point. I remember shaking with rage and having a red face, sweating. I don't like that aspect but maybe it's necessary to know I can draw a line. Rarely happens, not in the last 10 years, possibly 4 or 5 times in 50 years.

As goofy as this may sound, im now starting to choose when my inner Sosuke Aizen comes out. I no longer walk on eggshells around people.

Sometimes there's no other option to wake people up even if it means ending a relationship.

Over 20 years with a narcissist husband who has been verbally dismissive, name calling, denying my voice, going over my head bringing hid dysfunctional relatives to stay without telling me, the list goes on. After I was saved by Jesus Christ 7 years ago I developed courage. I had defended myself for years to no avail, but now I had supernatural support I gained strength. Subsequently there have been times when I blew up and let him have it. But most of the time I am not around him in the home, I prefer to be alone. INFJ’s can take a lot of abuse saying very little , and can ignore or walk away from a narcissist somewhere else in the home or garden, but once they know you have lost interest they leave you alone.

Revealing myself like you've mentioned is of course something I'd rather NOT put into consideration coz I'm surrounded by mostly narcacistic individuals, starting from the yard at home and outside, so I can't just do the revealing like that, I like em not knowing what will happen, how and when 😅.... It's just how I have become, I've figured out a lot for things to change em now, having all my weapons hidden, is what makes me feel better. I'm the only woman at home, my mom happened to be an INFJ (that I found out few years after she has passed), so my dad being an INTP and my bro an ENTJ, and then his son of 11 years being and ESTP so far, that's a lot to deal with everyday as a woman and alone... So, in that part of revealing and all, NOPE ... Maybe with others outside, I might do Lil drops or rather lite version of revealing but still won't go fullmode

The last time I really snapped was when my mom wouldn't leave me TF alone. Not even when my butt just hit my chair she was knocking on my wall. It became so much to the point where I eventually snapped that I think I made my mom cry. (what was annoying is the fact that she would bring me out just to waste my time just to say "she wants to see me" while gluing her eyes to her phone harder than the stereotype of teens being on their phone. Even then it seems a bit difficult to me to mention to others that one of my bothers is people blasting music in public places. What's annoying is if I leave the tutoring center one of the tutors that were ignoring me now gets up and says "do you need help?" My response was (I think) a polite version of "you're useless when you don't help me, stop talking to others and help me."

It is soooo wild to me that you posted this video yesterday and yesterday was when I flipped out on someone. I had done everything you said to not provoke that person and they continuously did the opposite for so long that I snapped! It has been a long time since I’ve been that way, but yesterday, I could not stop myself and it went on for about 45 minutes, especially when the other person kept going with their ignorant mouthy words. It took me a few hours to get back to myself but when I did, I felt terrible but then I was like “f*ck that, they deserved it” from being the ignorant human they are. Anywho, I am definitely fine today and didn’t allow it to go into the next day. It was pleasing to listen to this knowing and understanding how to control it completely to not come out again. I didn’t like it and never do

I snapped at work and I ended up quitting my job because I felt so guilty I ended up getting into two different fights two different days back to back I kept getting bullied by two different guys and finally had enough and snapped

I don't enter in relationships unless I have proofs that I can benefit from them as well. This way I can keep my monster at bay because my monster is only there to protect me. Too many people need to be educated and I am not their mother, not to mention that I also encountered 2 very nasty individuals. My personal problem was that I was way too trusting. Now I need proofs before I go ahead with somebody. Problem solved, last time I snapped was like 20 years ago.

I am always a monster to the treacherous, deceitful ones surrounding me..esp the immediate Bermuda triangle neighbours of mine.. and their kind multiplying rapidly .. birds of the same feather flock together huhuhu.. the rare species one being hunted @ 'haunted' to the near extinction 😂

I had a friend, for years, giving me advice and putting me down. In reality, I had a much better education, life style, and self control but he always knew best and i was wrong. SNAP Now I feel terrible and am making excuses for the guy but not going back.