Married 30 years - Have always genuinely respected and appreciated each other!!

I just had a guy string me along for a couple months. His actions did not match his words, and when I tried to discuss it with him face-to-face he said he did have feelings and did want a relationship, but there were no changes in his behavior so I finally just stop texting him and sure enough he didn’t continue to text me. I felt like an idiot. I’m trying to look at it as a learning experience, but now I feel like I am more worried about someone wasting my time.

@suzanneribas3746

3 жыл бұрын

From April to October 323 calls later..... In the end he was calling me from 6 up to 8 calls a day. This is not to mention the texts and Messenger, Whatsapp etc.

@Communitychoud

2 жыл бұрын

@@suzanneribas3746 he did all this yet didn’t like you ?

@RobertaNicholson1374

Жыл бұрын

Imagine how I feel after 8 years. You’re smart. Or I’m brain dead

They may have emotional, financial or healths issues that make them insecure to move forward with the relationship. That uncertainty is very attractive to us and keep us in the string waisting our time in hopes that things will change.

@leofeza9325

4 жыл бұрын

Only unhealthy women attracted to unhealthy men. The law of cause and effect. We attract what we are. Unless we heal certain parts of us we keep attracting the same person, different bodies.

Heart centered, radical honesty... U can never say the wrong thing to the right person if it comes from the heart ♥

I was strung along for several years on and off by one particular man who I later realised was a narcissist. I finally dumped him for good but he works where I do and he still trys to come back now and again in between his other relationships. I don't let him do that anymore and am focused on myself because I also realise at some level I attracted that. So before I go into another relationship I am committed to myself first this time.

@blingblingnelida

4 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry girl. You did The Right Thing.👍👌👏 Narcissist ARE SICK GUYS...NO VALUE.

@shamaniclady48

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. It took alot of strength but I did it.

@matrix-qp2tp

5 ай бұрын

You're so brave ❤ kudos to you!

Yes. Yes. Yes. And codependent people are drawn to confusion and lack of clarity.

@JonathonAslay

4 жыл бұрын

Indeed they are...

Yes, I agree that men who are co-dependent will string women along. My E-husband was cheating on me and wanted me on the side in case his relationship with the other woman did not work. He was a narcissistic man and did care if he hurt me.

Some men do string women along on purpose.

I got married for stability... Which I never had since birth... I'm disabled and cannot live off $700. A month... Also been homeless for 45... Now that my name is on the lease... I'm good... Thank You my sweetheart (Robo)... Love courage and understanding...

Jonathon, Thank you for an incredibly insightful video about co-dependence, the need for connection and the importance of being an emotional grown-up. You broke down some complicated concepts in a way that was very easy to understand.

People string each other along because they're not clear or sure on what they want. Makes absolute sense to me. And I know I've been on the receiving end as well as the perpetrator.

This is a very mature perspective and you heal my broken heart, knowing that this guy strung me along for a year because we did have a connection, but he also was unstable or unsure about what he really wanted. It’s not that he didn’t love me, as he said he did many times, it’s just he was not ready in his life financially and all other ways to be with me. Thank you 🙏🏼

It really is a statement of where one is in their journey of life- in their emotional and or inner growth/healing. About one’s authenticity & integrity with self and others.

I was raised to be independent and taught I don’t need a man,do it yourself.Never been married,concentrated on career and raising my son. At age 46, realized I want and need a man

@josephpack7315

3 жыл бұрын

Ah the failure of feminism on display. Sad.

@BridgetteBentley

3 жыл бұрын

Same with me, blessings to you

@kristenmoonrise

2 жыл бұрын

@@josephpack7315 many women were taught this mindset due to experiencing domestic violence and lack of rights. Consider it a societal issue that would be fixed if we were all taught to be our best selves.

@adriantomole1019

2 жыл бұрын

@@kristenmoonrise Yeah sure.

@kristenmoonrise

2 жыл бұрын

@@adriantomole1019 of course a quick answer pointing in the other direction is easy to do. No one wants to take the blame for the downturn and that's the issue. Everyone's so simple minded.

Thumbs up from me! I came by to support. I'm married over 20 years and still find this video helpful👍

Spot on, i agree with you. Dating in your 40s are more complicated than dating in our younger years. We have more things to considered and hopefully more wiser that makes us more indecisive.

This is spot on!

Thank You Coach Johnathan! Another GREAT VIDEO... Keep them coming I love them🍹

An emotional unavailable man that Is middle age ..will always string you along..and some do it till they think they find better..

I was strung along for over a decade. He moved in, moved out, dated someone else, it didn’t work out so he came back( not live in). He said he didn’t want to live together because I have a daughter and felt it would be good for us to have our own space. He talked about marriage then he would pull away but come back later. Yes I was stupid enough to take him back over and over however I think he sensed something in me changed and the sex started to die so he left again a little over two weeks ago, said he had different intentions a while back but things had changed. I figure he enjoyed the sex, friendship, knowing he had someone who would accept him back over and over but deep down knew he was never going to give me a real commitment and since the sex started to dwindle down, he decided it wasn’t worth keeping me around.

@transitionsnc

3 жыл бұрын

That's sad but unfortunately, you're probably correct.

Heart ❤️ centered radical honesty!!! This made a lot of sense ... explains a lot! Thank you Jonathon!! I want to send you a big heartfelt hug thank you!!! Bottom line to the point!! Well explained !! ❤️

Yes we tend to choose men on chemistry but we really need to go within and stop being so dik hungry sorry to say it like that but, most of the times we ask for a serious relationship but we don't give them anything to be serious about other than some serious sex! So holding back from sex, getting to know the persons hobbies, favorite places, food can tell you the things you guys connect with, i always ask men after the first 3 dates, what do they hate about women, and what they love, i ask what do they look for in a girl or do they seek union kids, and try as much as i can to not bring past relationships issues or examples...its about u 2 only...

Very interesting Jonathon, you have given me clarity on certain aspects of why men do just those things you described. We are living in a time where our roles are not defined anymore and many people such as the 45 to 65 age group are finding it hard to actually find true love. Thank goodness for books that you can learn from and people such as a mature age male, as yourself, Jonathon who can give the male perspective to why things go "pear shape".

Thank you SO MUCH- I just ended a relationship of almost 2 years with little to absolutely no reason of why he kept stringing me along for so long. It bugged me soooo bad why he would do that? This has provided me so much relief. Thank you

Thanks for this information,love from Kenya

I do enjoy your videos, because you genuinely care. I know there are good guys out there. I’ve been asking myself these questions you pose, for men and women alike. Because with clarity it makes it easier to figure things out. Subconsciously I knew last guy was wrong for me. For many reasons, he lied, omitted, did whatever he could to get what he wanted. I let myself make a mistake, but I’m taking it as a learning experience. Taking time to define what I want, working on myself. So that I attract a better quality of man next time

Damn... on point again... another great lesson.....

Emotional Grown ups - what a concept!!! Honestly though - I think Emotional maturity is the key in all adult relationships.

This was very insightful, thank you for this video!

@JonathonAslay

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

Im not in the age range but I am 30, hopefully its close enough to apply. I'm a mother of an 8 year old and I'm tired of all the childish men

@josephpack7315

3 жыл бұрын

Single moms dont get high value men. I’m sorry but that’s the truth.

Eye opening, thank you👍

@JonathonAslay

3 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Jonathon, Great subject thank you! 👍

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

I was in love with a guy an hour and a half away. On the phone 5 days. Drove there, he weighted 500 lbs. I was shocked

I do really believe this apply not only for mid age period

Very helpful

It's a shame I didn't find love in my 20's. Men were easiest to date in the college years, and there were plenty of single good guys available. Once they hit 35, men become selfish and impossible! I only ever got strung along or played by these "mature" guys until I finally decided to give up and accept singlehood. Best decision ever.

@heide-raquelfuss5580

4 жыл бұрын

God..., you are right on this one. Never thought about that. And indeed. When they have a certain age their are terrible behaving. And when young there where much more of ok guys. But in this days... Even young guys behave negative on that matter. I hope..., that you meet one day a man good for you and vice versa. Bless you lady.

@heide-raquelfuss5580

4 жыл бұрын

@CounterStrike211 Counter, You humiliating this girl and put her down, for your own pleasure? You have the nerve to say your comment like a real bully...? An intelligent and wise answer did not occurre to you. If you do not change your misbehaving attitude, you will have empty relationships, where you will end alone and miserable (like the girls you interacting with too), when their fed up with your bad behavior and your bad conduct. I can see on your pick that you have now your body and you like it to show of to anybody on the net, like a gigolo. Like you are working in the sex industry? But is that enough to sustain a healthy loving, caring relationship? If you want to change into a grown man, who is behaving as a noble man where you can look up to and trust his guidance and intelligence, here some guideance. Tony Gaskins R.C.Blakes jr. Derrick Jaxn John Gottman Susan Winter Dr. Ramani Sam Vaknin The Attachment Theory The 5 love languages Just to name a few... You have plenty to learn, like we al do. Bless you and take good loving care of you (and others). P.S. do not even reply, because this is the only post i will put down here.

@leofeza9325

4 жыл бұрын

They wise up and and willing to pull up with bullshit. Look on the mirror you will see the problem. The power dynamics change when women go past their prime. A young beautiful woman has an equivalent value of a millionaire but this sexual value plummets as a woman age. Women begin to chase and pursue. It happens alot.

@heide-raquelfuss5580

4 жыл бұрын

@@leofeza9325 I never take bullshit from a man. Never did, never will. They have to back of. And i back of. It allways ends. I had only 1 chance with a man, who was crazy about me. I was scared to death. I never knew he was so in love. He was a friendly, decent, strong man. I was not living in that country. And my mother never told me how crazy he was about me. She told me now at 49 years. What a bad mom i have. But bullshit and bad, nasty behavior i never take that lightly. And i give chances. But chances stop too. Living alone is much better for my health, then in bad company. So..., no... I will never chase after a man in my age. Chasing is manly. So why should i become suddenly a man? There are so much feminzed men, that i prefer not to deal with them either. If i have to train myself to be a man and this men train me to be a man...? Well. I just do not feel like to engage with a man, that is not a 'gentle' man with ethics, morality, empathy, compassion, care, intelligence, family values, good father genes and a solid financial vieuw. With a backbone. And sensitive. Not a brutal macho empty head. I am a caring, nurturing, sensitive, loving, cooperative woman with a brain and soul. But not to a conman, player, idiot, user, misuser, pedophyle, rapist, bulglar, smoking pot, drinking, gambling, rude, violent, nasty, unfriendly man. And is it so much asked to ask for a grown up man with a heart and brain and good attitude? In my opinion, you should as a woman never chase. And let nasty men allone. Let this men live allone in their enterally life. They are not good. Vice versa the same. But show allways your humanity first. And your iron hand will tell them to back of, without fight. Easer said then done..., i know. Bless you and kind regards from another country.

@audreys3279

4 жыл бұрын

@@heide-raquelfuss5580 merci beaucoup! I am sorry you are having the same experience, but I admire how you stand firm in your values and self-worth! I wish more women would do this so the men would have to change their behavior. This degenerate trend in dating is not sustainable; we are just caught in the middle of it. I think women have the power to change the dating paradigm. Men (in general) don't care enough to do it.

Hey J ❤️

best video!

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you think so!

What about men with intimacy issues???

I agree with you

@JonathonAslay

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you...

Hi Jonathan can you please make a video for us on 'trauma bonding'?

I have spent 6 years with someone that is nice and a good person, but nothing but issues follow him. I am tried of the drama he brings with him, so I moved on and am unwinding from the union. Wish washy is the best description. I just want a fresh start and I am actually okay with that

Like*

It just happened to me.

4 years and 4 months I have been strung along. Love bombed and discarded over 130 times. Every time he comes back it’s like he’s never leaving. But he leaves every time and comes back. Connection wise - I love him but worse I like him a lot. I love the way we get along, I love the way we laugh and I haven’t found someone else I want more than him. However, I do not accept the actions (lack of), the cheating, the neglect and the lack of giving me anything. For the love of God somebody please help me.

@equalitarianbiologist2327

4 жыл бұрын

Sorry to say... Your man sounds like a heartless, manipulating and "triangulating" narcissistic person. Such a person needs to seek professional help and NOT be allowed to toss your heart around. Real love rarely includes breaking this much up. Become a "high-value woman" and you will find a man who is a loyal quality keeper 💞 Find a man. Not an abusive person. You will become so much more free and Happy 🌺 Triangulation: (1) Love bomb (validate, only see your good sides, not your full authenticity). (2) Invalidate, devalue you, because you are a human person and he struggles with accepting the full package of the Personal accountabilities and challenges that is needed dealt with in a real relationship. (3) ..which coward person then can't take the relationship hurdle and he leaves you, that's the "Discard". Then he comes back (he hoovers) because he yearns for that part of you that was the crucial supply for his fragile psyche to feel good. If abuse is included, incl. cheating, bullying, gaslighting, wronging you, demeaning you. Leave, but leave VERY carefully. To counteract any resentment in him. That would cause such an Evil person to talk shit about you (Flying monkeys).

Hi guys, I find very interesting this kind of material. I'm 28 and my boyfriend 35, we've been for 6 years now. I'd like to settle down and he too, but he isn't earning enough money and me neither, Shouldn't I worry so much for this 'cause as I read and see for you as men the economic stability improves with the years? I want to read you from a man perspective

Women string men along all the time also.

@JonathonAslay

5 жыл бұрын

The video says that too...

Gen XErs come from divorced families. They are the most “unparented” generation. Cited from Why We Can’t Sleep, by Ada Calhoun.

Been strung along for 9+ years and it is purposefully done. He blows hot and when he weasels his way in again, he’s ice cold. Blames it on his person issues. Always acting like HIS problems are larger than anyone else’s, HIS tine is more valuable than mine. Never making plans, except at the very last minute so I am on ‘call waiting’. I’ve never met any of his close friends or any of his family. He uses the phrase… ‘I do love you’. Sort of like he’s trying to convince himself. Believe me, he knows he’s stringing me along and I’m embarrassed and frankly upset I’ve wasted 9 years with someone who truly doesn’t give a damn about me. Ladies… trust me when I say run at the first sign of an emotionally, selfish, unavailable man.

I feel lie I'm being strung along and I dont understand why when I gave him an out.. I told him basically if he's not ready for a real relationship then good luck but yet he will still text.. why??

@taramullock1676

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@lovetrustandpixiedust

3 жыл бұрын

My guess is that he still needs and wants that emotional connection, and you are available to fulfil that need.

You've spoken a lot about emotional maturity. How do you spot it? Are there specific behaviours that men show, that reveal their emotional maturity? What are some questions women should be asking to find out?

@JonathonAslay

4 жыл бұрын

I'll shoot a video on that the next week or 2... Great question

@lisanorum6577

4 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay Great Thank you, look forward to seeing the video. Learning so much from your practical advise, appreciate that you're focused on the mature daters.

i think guys that were married or are married string woman along bc they want to make sure the relationship will work the second time around... they want to get to know them better. Another reason is that they like the attention but not sure if the relationship will work out?

String someone along? Until they find someone "better" or new

MAKES SOME SENSE, I SUPPOSE! THEY WANT TO FEEL SOMEWHAT C9NNECTED, WHILE STILL FIGURING OUT WHAT THEY TRULY WANT OR WHAT'S ACTUALLY RIGHT FORR THEM..OR SIMPLY TILL THEY MEET THE ***ONE*** lool

Meeting off of POF, the man beforehand and after 1st meet will be calling and texting often. Pauses of several days, then back to calling very interested, talk about meeting, but doesn't make the date. Kinda wishy washy like a yoyo Meanwhile he's active on POF, We have a 2nd date which was great, he calls after than silence now for several days while he's on POF. No way I mention this but to me I feel he's stringing me along while he is shopping for better in his mind NOT what I want to feel. He may have dropped off the radar and that is best.

🌻🧡🧡💛🧡🧡🌻

Women Divorce Men women no coming back

Because they are selfish.. emotionally damaged.. can not have empathy for others

Only Top Men string women along. Most men can't get a date.

So why can’t men express talk about the problem why run and cheat?

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Fear

This guy is the White Derrick Jaxn🙄

@JonathonAslay

3 жыл бұрын

I don't know who he is...

@josephpack7315

3 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay yeah, sure. Whatever you say.