Why Men Sabotage Great Relationships ~ It's Not YOU

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Why Men Sabotage Great Relationships ~ It's Not YOU
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There's this almost fantasy many men & women approach during the dating process without giving any thought to the emotional maturity of a possible candidate for a relationship.
But here's the thing, on some level we are all wounded on a subconscious level from childhood which causes us all to have negative patterns & limiting beliefs in life. In addition, we can also have emotional traumas in our adult life that causes us to choose unhealthy partners.
In today's video, we are going to explore a deeper reason why many men (as well as women) often sabotage a really good relationship which often has nothing to do with their partner, and when you understand this, you can make better choices in the dating process especially before sleeping together.
Let's talk about... Why Men Sabotage Great Relationships ~ It's Not You

Пікірлер: 92

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay4 жыл бұрын

    Join My VIP Group -- jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove

  • @marevagodfrey7529
    @marevagodfrey75294 жыл бұрын

    Totally resonated and it's come at a perfect time. Trying to come from a loving place and let go of a man that needs to heal himself. I've done and continue to do this work, so we are not at all in the same place emotionally. He has embarked on it and I wish him the best, but I know in my heart that staying would only breed a co-dependent, unhealthy dynamic. I am done with all of that. Sigh...it's heartbreaking, yet liberating to know my boundaries.

  • @Chemilia

    @Chemilia

    3 жыл бұрын

    Wow your comment girl uplifted me so much.... Noted

  • @candacebrown2196

    @candacebrown2196

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm in the same space right now. I wish you much love and joy!

  • @allystevens7036
    @allystevens70364 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing, when I was 6, a teacher shook me in front of the whole class for talking. It gave me a complex for years.

  • @zoraidacastro5403

    @zoraidacastro5403

    3 жыл бұрын

    Horrible. Trauma. I am sorry.

  • @drakemyson
    @drakemyson4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing and for the hug... we could all use more of those! Blessings

  • @toscadonna
    @toscadonna4 жыл бұрын

    My ex husband was literally yelling at me and ascribing attributes of his mother that he hated to me. I’m the antithesis of his mother. He was such a mental patient. I kept saying, “Who are you talking to? I’m not her! I don’t even do what you’re yelling at me about (spend money)!” I had a male teacher who told me that I was too dumb to be a chemistry major; I felt really upset about it, but I got pissed off. I got my degree in chemistry, so he was wrong. There’s no excuse to hurt others just because someone else hurt you. Get over it, and don’t hurt other people.

  • @jazznbluessinger
    @jazznbluessinger4 жыл бұрын

    Terrific info! I don't feel so bad now that it took me the last 10 years to go thru my own hero's journey. Plus it confirmed some of the people I've dated not being emotionally ready for relationship. They're still on their journey. 🙏💕

  • @sharmainevanderwesthuizen3412
    @sharmainevanderwesthuizen34124 жыл бұрын

    I am so glad to hear I am not the only one who took more than 10 years to heal from a broken heart 😁🌺

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm still a work in progress... lol. 🙃 Happy to hear this resonated with you?

  • @sharmainevanderwesthuizen3412

    @sharmainevanderwesthuizen3412

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@JonathonAslay You are an inspiration!!! 😁🌺. Greetings from South Africa!

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@sharmainevanderwesthuizen3412 awe... thank you

  • @LD-qo7kf
    @LD-qo7kf4 жыл бұрын

    Johnathon, I appreciate your willing vulnerability. It takes a person with High Moral character and strong Self Love like yourself to share such an extraordinary event of your past. I have one from a 3rd grade Teacher as well. But more importantly Love covers a multitude of wrong doings. Your vulnerabilty is a BREATH OF FRESH O². ALOHA

  • @puspalimopranoto6546
    @puspalimopranoto65464 жыл бұрын

    Spot on. One of a kind video, amazing that there are so many wounded adult out there. Not only within relationships.. thats why there is terms grumpy old man etc😉

  • @flowerchild3312
    @flowerchild33124 жыл бұрын

    My question is, Did that teacher get fired? That was beyond cruel, of all people teacher's should boost your confidence, sorry that happened to you. Our self worth definitely starts and is formed in childhood, as soo many people have experienced some form of abuse.And unfortunately is brought with us into adulthood and determines what types of relationships we form , for some it breaks us or makes us stronger. Thank you for sharing, sending you a { Hug } 🌹😊💕

  • @Toody49

    @Toody49

    Жыл бұрын

    I definitely agree with you. I went for counseling because of my family’s substance-abuse issues. During one session, school came up and how some of the teachers acted toward me. My counselor’s response was, “Schools are the most dysfunctional places there are”

  • @APerez89

    @APerez89

    Жыл бұрын

    Only a woman would want to retaliate for some stupid shit that happened long ago. Part of my problem on how I see women, but how can I believe otherwise when females on the internet crystallize my belief right before my eyes. IN WRITING. Yeah one could argue not all are that way---well. Where the fk are they? Every single one exhibits these obnoxious traits of control and manipulation and just an obsession with drama. Adam works heals his wounds and eve lives to cut them back up.

  • @karenwilliams2068
    @karenwilliams2068 Жыл бұрын

    Yes.i can relate Jonathan 💕 this from.inner child work I've done. I understand after a divorce it took me many years to heal due to the level of trauma I experienced.

  • @elopez198725
    @elopez1987254 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for recommending these books!

  • @faithstrong3575
    @faithstrong35752 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing. I bought the The Hoffman process. I had childhood abandonment issues since I was raised by my Grandparents. Thanks for the suggestions of the books. That includes your book.

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    2 жыл бұрын

    Wonderful!

  • @KMMSRP
    @KMMSRP4 жыл бұрын

    Wow, Jonathon. Your number of subscribers is growing quickly in leaps & bounds ... and it's easy to see why!!! I love your channel!!! CONGRATS!!! God bless. 💙

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    Feeling very blessed... thank you for noticing.

  • @oldirtydasher
    @oldirtydasher3 жыл бұрын

    My ex cheated on me an lied about it while in couples therapy. I've yet to recover. It sucks.

  • @padminiseecharran5629
    @padminiseecharran56293 жыл бұрын

    I love listening to you ❤️ you are an inspiration thank you

  • @hoiliswu6070
    @hoiliswu60704 жыл бұрын

    Yes Men and women always prayer join us no struggle every time good relationship both loving care

  • @danielleemch8991
    @danielleemch89913 жыл бұрын

    Your very smart thank you so much I love all your Advice self love is so amazing and important 😍

  • @julierose9624
    @julierose96244 жыл бұрын

    Makes so much sense. Thanks.

  • @pamelabecerra6544
    @pamelabecerra65444 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your wisdom!

  • @HypnotikaSinCityDiva
    @HypnotikaSinCityDiva4 жыл бұрын

    Wow today has been such a great day 4 me. Lots of manifestations. It's like you knew I needed this RN. Thanks

  • @LD-qo7kf

    @LD-qo7kf

    4 жыл бұрын

    Go sista I join you in your excitement. FANTABULOUS DAY FOR ME TOO.. MY GUY Finally broke with me again for the 3rd time.. Perfect timing for me and my girlz. We now get to move from Hawaii to somewhere. Yeah...I am so excited to move forward. Yes I have been on a long Journey my whole life.😁😁😁

  • @Chemilia

    @Chemilia

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@LD-qo7kf hope all went well with your journey

  • @barbgrant8213
    @barbgrant82133 жыл бұрын

    I love you your honesty Jonathon! I trust your advice . From Toronto Canada with love

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    3 жыл бұрын

    I appreciate that!

  • @Chemilia
    @Chemilia3 жыл бұрын

    Finally best video I seen today.. Explaining so much.. I want this book

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    3 жыл бұрын

    Glad it was helpful!

  • @zoraidacastro5403
    @zoraidacastro54033 жыл бұрын

    I need to order that Hoffman Process. Self love.

  • @aries7176
    @aries71762 жыл бұрын

    What does being friends with an ex boyfriend look like? I know maybe a little off topic of this video but would appreciate your input. Thank you Jonathan

  • @APerez89
    @APerez89 Жыл бұрын

    3:31 comment. This is why parental supervision and strong leadership is so important in the household. (Me too similarly by the way) . I suspect that if someone had been there to help us navigate through/analyze the occurrence at the dinner table for us that night, we would've made it out with less scars onto adulthood. 😭. Literally made me tear and then laugh with the picture thing. Much love fam!

  • @holisticchrissy5420
    @holisticchrissy54204 жыл бұрын

    We were in a relationship for three years, he broke up with me at the beginning of June, we hash out some tough communication and came back together for a great, intense weekend over Father’s Day. Then he withdrew and we haven’t spoken for over three weeks. I’m so confused. I’m letting him have space and have contacted him. I’m just so lost as to what happened. We cared for each other so much and things seemed to be on an upturn...

  • @ginadiodati1965
    @ginadiodati19653 жыл бұрын

    I just found your channel. Thank you.

  • @petawilliams8099
    @petawilliams80994 жыл бұрын

    I had similar traumas at school every year of schooling

  • @amyfretz3387
    @amyfretz33873 жыл бұрын

    Would you consider making a video talking more about your experience of being in the tunnel you referenced in this video? What were evidences that you were out of the tunnel? I’m in the beginning of my tunnel. I’m just starting to read books and figure out a healthy baseline for myself. Also, how did you process in a healthy way knowing you inadvertently hurt people you loved before the tunnel and during the tunnel of healing? Thanks so much for all you share and want you to know your videos have helped me tremendously.🥰

  • @zoraidacastro5403
    @zoraidacastro54033 жыл бұрын

    Excellent points. We are attracted to people like our parents. 6 x 6!!!! Oh WOW....I would have been crushed as well. 140 IQ, teachers are extremely powerful and they don't know it.

  • @zoraidacastro5403
    @zoraidacastro54033 жыл бұрын

    I need to grab your book.

  • @classassignment3643
    @classassignment36433 жыл бұрын

    My ex has to go through his tunnel. It’s painful to witness because he’s a great guy. He needs the help.

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming32188 ай бұрын

    We need to let go of men that aren't on the same page and that need to heal from their past.

  • @stacyk100
    @stacyk1004 жыл бұрын

    Love the content....my only feedback is the audio level ☺️ up up up pls :)

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    Have you noticed this on more than one video or just this one?

  • @justme1195
    @justme11953 жыл бұрын

    I want a great relationship IQ! Teach me your ways, Jonathan!

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    3 жыл бұрын

    Deal! check out the book www.selflovethebook.com

  • @angelinasamson6996
    @angelinasamson6996 Жыл бұрын

    Subconsciously recreating the same pattern.

  • @karenwilliams2068
    @karenwilliams2068 Жыл бұрын

    And yes it is unsealed patterns.snd not the woman thank s for validating this subject

  • @angelinasamson6996
    @angelinasamson6996 Жыл бұрын

    Oh wow , when I was in junior school I used to get hit on the head with a dictionary when I got my spellings wrong. After that I would always get them wrong

  • @biondna7984
    @biondna7984 Жыл бұрын

    Amen. We is dented.

  • @ashleygerke9412
    @ashleygerke94124 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for the video. Your bottom pic on the left fell. V/R

  • @roslyndrayton6716
    @roslyndrayton67164 жыл бұрын

    Yes, it resonates with me.

  • @legalfictionnaturalfact3969
    @legalfictionnaturalfact39692 ай бұрын

    If you have sabotaged, APOLOGIZE to EVERYONE you did it to. At any point. Or else you are not whole.

  • @Trump814
    @Trump8144 жыл бұрын

    Your audio is extremely difficult to hear

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    Have you tried wearing a headset? That might work better...

  • @thesylly86
    @thesylly864 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for this video. It feels like I am going deeper into myself for the past few weeks watching your video’s on a daily basis and with the wait on your book (that now says “sold out” where I ordered it), I’m ready to grow even more then I did by myself for the past 6 months.. Can I email you, Jonathon? 🙂

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much, much appreciated. BTW, I think the book is now available on Amazon. Please let me know what you think of it... hope you enjoy, thx.

  • @thesylly86

    @thesylly86

    4 жыл бұрын

    Jonathon Aslay, the book is coming between July 1st and 8th.. Of course I will let you know what I think ☺️

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@thesylly86 Can't wait to hear what you think... thanks so much.

  • @angelheart408
    @angelheart4084 жыл бұрын

    Jonathan I like your videos but the volume is getting lower and lower and I can barely hear you. Can you please set the volume higher? Thanks so much.

  • @bentehove3945

    @bentehove3945

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes, I had that thought too ... and much love !

  • @debbie6533
    @debbie65333 жыл бұрын

    Happy Friday Eve! My thoughts for today is there are some Excellent youtube videos with the Eight Dates; Authors Gottmans of the Gottman Institute.One of them is very cute where they start the talk with excerpts from "When Sally met Harry" movie.

  • @JonathonAslay

    @JonathonAslay

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing!!

  • @kellylong6075
    @kellylong6075 Жыл бұрын

    I believe that if you truly love in a relationship any issues will just seem not important but the love u have for each other I don't believe I ever stop loving once you had love sometimes u just have to work at different times in your relationship there be good and bad times hopefully enough good to pull you through the not 😊 so good

  • @kellylong6075

    @kellylong6075

    Жыл бұрын

    But the love wikk never ever really go away even if u haven't spoken or seen the person u loved and committed to it just kinda of just goes at a little stand still but is still there no matter how much time goes by real love doesn't die

  • @kellylong6075

    @kellylong6075

    Жыл бұрын

    Real love last Always 😍❤️ me and my special word in my relationship always mean t I love u no matter what

  • @kellylong6075

    @kellylong6075

    Жыл бұрын

    And he's knows if you really love him you will forgive him not saying u understand his actions but u love him enough to forgive him

  • @christinamarcille5280
    @christinamarcille52803 жыл бұрын

    I had a chemistry teacher who told me I should just go into art school even though I passed her class I went on to become an architect Maybe I should look her up and tell her Nahhh But I’ll def never forget it

  • @kellybrooks7583
    @kellybrooks75834 жыл бұрын

    Hi I'm out of an abusive marriage and remained single for two years to sort things out emotionally and physically. I have a great life all around. I chose to trust and love again. I have been dating a man for about a month now. He is super sweet, affectionate, super open about his feelings and about who he is. He suddenly stopped communication with me going on for 2 weeks. I reached out once and did not hear back. I'm continuing to live my best life and so thankful my blessings. Should I move on from this? How do i handle when he decides to reopen communication? Thank you!

  • @ak-47intelligence75

    @ak-47intelligence75

    4 жыл бұрын

    He pulled away. So you pull away.

  • @marevagodfrey7529

    @marevagodfrey7529

    4 жыл бұрын

    I would ask him why he did pull away. And then share your boundaries regarding being MIA. In the meantime, ZERO contact.

  • @kellybrooks7583

    @kellybrooks7583

    4 жыл бұрын

    Mareva Godfrey Thank you. He reached out to tell me that he is going through severe depression and anxiety.

  • @marevagodfrey7529

    @marevagodfrey7529

    4 жыл бұрын

    Kelly, that happened to me as well. Let him have his space to deal with his issues. Otherwise you will create a co-dependent, unhealthy relationship. Glad he shared. Now you know.

  • @marevagodfrey7529

    @marevagodfrey7529

    4 жыл бұрын

    You deserve more.

  • @brendajones8073
    @brendajones80734 жыл бұрын

    That’s really horrible about that teacher 😢

  • @ivyfgiordano
    @ivyfgiordano3 жыл бұрын

    People in our past fuck us all! From family to friends. I have a huge book on this. And i am proud of myself to give my son the best tools for the beat life he can have! I am not making the same mistakes people dis with me ! Thank you for r videos! U remained me my deceased husband, great guy and same hair do! 😂

  • @Monkey-oy1us
    @Monkey-oy1us3 жыл бұрын

    That was very inappropriate behavior from the teacher. Teachers are supposed to foster positive growth. I hope her career as a teacher was short lived.

  • @CherylWhitestone
    @CherylWhitestone3 жыл бұрын

    Relationship IQ 👀😳

  • @petawilliams8099
    @petawilliams80994 жыл бұрын

    👍

  • @lilbitqueenbee4life
    @lilbitqueenbee4life4 жыл бұрын

    🌻🧡🧡💛🧡🧡🌻

  • @fourstringmania
    @fourstringmania3 жыл бұрын

    I have my doubts about this; I feel British and American children have been brought up indulgently, with no financial worries; for the most part. They have a Superiority Complex; They think the World owes the something. Always whinging and whining. I speak as a South African coming from a big family, where we were happy, but struggled financially.

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