I told him "The only thing your silence taught me is how to live without you".

@lizpedano1542

2 жыл бұрын

Very very old saying...the youngsters should hear this more often

@foreveryoungpisces7426

2 жыл бұрын

It's good to know how to live without them.

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Strongly agree. Who wants a passive man

@loricook3274

2 жыл бұрын

Amen!!! Thin line no one understands that thin line!!!!

@lissacablerware8475

2 жыл бұрын

Silence is aggression without explanation. It’s the most difficult to reconcile without the other party opening up discussion.

I believe, if he is really really into you, he will always make time for you. If he doesn't and ghosts you, leave the dead alone.

@sharondrake8582

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly leave him alone. Move on!

@bonnitahoy8252

2 жыл бұрын

Great way of putting it..🤣

@janep165

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely!!

@charlenebennett6786

2 жыл бұрын

Big facts 🤣🤣 he dead and stinking

@jennycyl3595

2 жыл бұрын

Nailed it

What I find very sad is when a woman looses her opportunity to have a family because she wasted her time with an insincere player .

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Players reveal themselves usually within 4 weeks... some women buy into a fantasy (due to love bombing) and don't ask better questions to reveal their games is often times what happens.

@hottubmobilenils2133

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay . Does that mean its the woman's fault for being played ?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

@@hottubmobilenils2133 not at all. That said, asking much better questions right up front avoids wasting time.

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay men don't always tell women that they have a girlfriend already and want u as a sidechick.

@femmeNikita27

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay This would work if people were honest. And there is a lot of data proving that people are dishonest even up to 18 months in a relationship. And some are dishonest for a lifetime. Another thing is that it would work if people knew what they want. And again , we have data proving that in most cases people have no clue about what they want. Let alone about what would make them happy. Truth of life being, relationships are russian roulette very much random like most things in life. Sure we can move from one random situation to another but that's all people can do really.

When he goes silent. I disappear. His loss. That shows that he is emotionally immature and have bad communication skills. Give him the eternal silence that he is asking for...

@sharonnorton-marshall5280

2 жыл бұрын

Good luck with that

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I understand how you feel...

@kimgordon3695

2 жыл бұрын

It's Sunday, I'm cooking while the wash machine Is Doing my laundry People please TRUST yourself... 💝 MsArta@USA

@kimgordon3695

2 жыл бұрын

Sad sometimes silence is growth Our on demand world won't LAST

@heatherwagar2898

2 жыл бұрын

I so agree. I have no time or emotional energy for these types of games

There is no excuse for bad behavior. My mental health is far too important to allow someone play such manipulative games. I cut them off. If you start accepting breadcrumbs, you will always be hungry....

@taylorthomas8869

2 жыл бұрын

This comment 🔥❤️

@iamaleo247

2 жыл бұрын

@Joules Joules: 💯💯💯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@havelife

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this inspiration.

@laken1804

Жыл бұрын

Good notes taken ❣

@elisa9359

Жыл бұрын

So well said. Thank You !

His silence means that he is either a player, juggling multiple "tasks" at the same time, unable to keep track of which is which, or it may mean that he is not interested. So, his loss is your gain. Those who are not fit for you, "vanish" without a trace before any major damage takes place. Kudos and focus on yourselves. This is where true happiness lies~ true happiness lies within 💖

@floridagirl5250

2 жыл бұрын

@Mihaela...not necessarily b4 damage is dine...

@luna84_

Жыл бұрын

Happiness lies inside us..that's exactly what I'm working on 😌 putting me first

@elarisa10

Жыл бұрын

He is used to be chased...

@floridagirl5250

Жыл бұрын

@@elarisa10 let the chaser women have fun with that--and there will always be plenty of desperate ones clammoring for a man that, chances are, you wouldn't want if you had him. Many times, the good-looking guys or ones with a lot of money have been chased and catered to to the point they are like spoiled children...ruined. Even men who are neither rich or handsome don't have trouble finding a woman from what I see...often women who are attractive and successful. I know our host will disagree with me...but there are just a whole lot more good choices when it comes to women in the dating pool...and certainly more plentiful...than there are even DECENT men. (I'm referring to people in the 40-60+ age range). More likely to find a unicorn in your back yard than a decent (not horribly damaged or abusive or something terrible) SINGLE man in his 50's. If you find one, treat him right and DONT tell your friends (some of them will be after him...lol!)

@floridagirl5250

Жыл бұрын

@@mihaelaiacob3629 desperate women who lay it all out on a silver platter for a man....ANY MAN..including their best friend's husband. ..are ALL OVER the place! Women like this make it really hard for the rest of us. Many who give it up on the first date...happens all the time. Why do you think men are so non-committal now??? Because they can screw a different desperate woman every night! No commitment, no questions asked....and she will even buy or cook dinner for him, too! Good advice you gave, but desperate women are everywhere ruining their own lives and poisoning the water hole for the rest of us with any kind of standards. Sorry...harsh truth.

His silence is a form of abuse.

@BoDeboer-uf2lg

8 күн бұрын

Absolutely

Let the dead rest. If he is ghosting you and give you the silent treatment and you have given it your all, he’s just not that interested in you. Let him go 💅🏾

Life is hard as it is… dating shouldn’t be complicated.

@flyfish2562

2 жыл бұрын

It shouldn’t be, but it is. Im sorry. We all are here for the same reason. Dating sucks.

@LisaGemini

2 жыл бұрын

It's always been complicated and now that we're meeting total strangers, it makes it even harder. Think about your best friend...didn't it take some time and effort to find him/her? Relationships in general are difficult; they take communication, compassion and understanding, for starters.

@LaSorciereFeuillue

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly. A ten hour shift looking after other people's toddlers and now this? I'm done for the day. Grow up men. Just grow the fuck up. For the love of God.

@katesun2957

2 жыл бұрын

It's either not complicated, or I just don't care that much any more. Although, I broke my neck and nose in June, and according to the doctor, I should be dead. Now I'm just being me, and if they don't like it fine...I don't care, because I don't want to be with someone who doesn't like the real me anyway. I used to be that way....I remember being bored, and just telling the guy to take me home. Then I changed. I started second guessing everything I said, did and wore. That guy I told to take me home asked me out again a year later. Being yourself, doesn't turn a guy off, and if it does..... fine.

@jammyjay917

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly, it shouldn't be that difficult....but you never know where you stand with some men... If they don't speak up, they need to grow up....we are not a prize and we are not mind reader's.... They shouldn't be fearful, just get on with it...I never understand why some men don't get it....

Silence means he’s out emotionally so it’s time to move on.

@Made_man_underGod

10 ай бұрын

Wrong it's not all about you maybe he wants you to text

His silence tells me he isn't capable of communicating hhis needs or wants. If you need space to process, then SAY THAT! Ghosting me tells me you aren't for me.

I was dating someone for 4 months and he started to become distant. Shorter text and longer response time. I let it go for a little bit and didn’t say anything then I said I noticed you pulling away and he replied that he was used to being alone. There were other things that went on also that I noticed and I honestly wish I would of spoke up sooner but I didn’t. Needless to say I broke things off with him because he obviously was unsure about me. He said that I will always be special to him and I said that I felt the same in return but I needed someone who fully loved me, I felt like he was bread crummin me. Some people are not capable of committed healthy relationships!❤

@isabellacam4775

9 ай бұрын

Wow same thing happened to me.. I'm sorry you went through that. My problem though is I'm still trying to get over it. It feels like something I can never "come back" from.

@sherriflemming3218

9 ай бұрын

💯 Beauty trends

@kirstenbroussard177

4 ай бұрын

EXACT situation. I'm 4 months in. Thank you for your transparency. He's 45 and I am 50. Too old for games. I deserve more than he is capable of willing to give me.

After about three days of silence I’ve blocked, deleted, and cleared my space of you. Don’t play with women who know what they bring to the table. We know what we want and apparently these ghosts do not. RIP.

My man showed such confidence at the beginning of our relationship, I never had to deal with any of this. We are so blessed we found each other. 5 years later, we are sooo happy still! Hang in there ladies, there are still good men out there! I didn't meet the love of my life until age 44. My past relationships were armature hour compared to the real deal I have now.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Well said!

@mshermosa23

Жыл бұрын

Wow...Im 40 and thought I was too old for true love. Im glad I read your comment 🙏😭

@sonyareyes9596

Жыл бұрын

A narcissist took my life. Marriage at 25 he wanted me pregnant, right after he changed. He'll since then, 28 another baby not planned medicated since then. Miserable, 30s tried to survive. Being naive and more abuse made me go back because economically he's set. He left us nothing

@mmommo10

Жыл бұрын

@@sonyareyes9596 same, survived 37 years with a guy who never stopped dating. I raised 3 children, now I'm free.

@CareBear-og6pe

Жыл бұрын

I found my husband at age 49. Married at 50 until this year 2022, it ended. Last 2 years silent treatment if I didn’t meet his expectations. Very abusive and hurtful. His excuse I yelled which I didn’t. I mean a few times during disagreements. One night he said I was yelling and I was talking completely normal but he heard an argument as yelling. Got tired of his abuse. Thought we were going to be together till death do us part. After about 4 yrs he began to do his own laundry bc he wanted his shirts to be hung going the same way. I think he may have been a hidden narcissist. He refused counseling and refused to seek help for us. I was his third marriage and he’s never been alone. Maybe someone else but he volunteered to me there was no one else and he swore. Who knows if he does have someone else now it’s her problem. I’m 57, still good looking and size 4. He will never find anyone better then me. I’d rather be alone (not lonely) then be with a non appreciative man.

Silence is one thing; but indifference is quite another.

@godislove4540

Жыл бұрын

Us women don’t distinguish between those two. Silence to us equates to disinterest. Men should just be men and learn how to communicate like mature adults. Men, if you aren’t into her, be an adult and tell her. Don’t waste her time. If you are into her, grow up and be adult and tell her. Yes, it’s scary to be vulnerable and risk rejection. That’s life. Lots of things are scary. Be a man and push past that fear.

@icescubes2341

9 ай бұрын

Well said!

@saynotohookups

3 ай бұрын

I get this. I am a quiet person and I feel very comfortable with silence. I don't have to be talking about things all the time. I'm happy to be in someone's presence. So if a man is being silent I don't take it as a bad thing. However, like me he is going to talk about things sometimes when he has something to say. Indifference though, that doesn't get my attention. When I am in a relationship with someone I like to be in touch with them every day.

Silence means the person plays games. Leave you deserve better and until you know your worth you will stay. I wish you peace.

When a man go silence, is the begining of the end...is a destructive game.

He silent because he don’t want u! Nothing more nothing less

His silence is stonewalling. It's passive aggressive!

Relationship skills should be taught much earlier in life. It sucks to waste decades of your life in the wrong relationships and not know how to go about it productively. Thanks for all you do!!

@shoshastark

2 жыл бұрын

You are absolutely right. I recently made a huge effort to learn and it has paid off. I was amazed how my new skills worked out.

@MsNaturralBeauty

2 жыл бұрын

@@orianna9200 you said it best wasted a decade and a half actually a decade and 6 yrs my best yrs my beautiful yrs married to an absolute narcissist having his children and being abused in every way possible

@aliceayuma8781

2 жыл бұрын

@@orianna9200 9 pop

@alsaeedshireen3425

2 жыл бұрын

Let me ask you guys question that bothers me, would love only help people to be more communicative? Or we still need good communication courses to show the sincere love?

@Patriot_Lady1776

2 жыл бұрын

@@alsaeedshireen3425 I'm not sure what you mean?

After having 4 wonderful dates with an highly intelligent, successful, handsome gentleman, he started to seem less interested and now he's ghosting me. I though someone with a higher intellect and who claims to be empathetic won't behave in such off putting way. He told me he likes me, he wants a relationship (generally speaking), he asked me lots of personal questions, his last text said he'd like to still date me when i asked, bu then went completely silent when i shared my thoughts which were non emotional, articulated, i did send a long text though sharing my thoughts. Either way, it got me thinking i don't want to date men any more, romance is dead or at least at this time and age. This ghosting thing is an ugly phenomenon and if someone has a change of heart, at least have the decency to communicate that rather than disappear, what a cowardly move.

@pamelah9205

Жыл бұрын

You deserve better. The ghosting trend has serious energetic repercussions, seems to foster anxiety in the people who do it.

@BGL333

Жыл бұрын

He should have at least given you the courtesy of a general "why" and goodbye.

@Marcycat7

Ай бұрын

They like to have sex with women for a while, acting like they are in a relationship. Until he gets tired of her or meets a new person he wants to sleep with. The men have no loyalty.

@CeciledeLuire

18 күн бұрын

Hey love, why don't you try friendship? You can find a good reason that lies not within the man (for example you would love to get to know him and you do feel attracted, but *for now* you only feel able to have a friendship thing with a man),

I tried communicating and it was worthless. Yes I agree communication is very important but if the man doesn't reply for days or weeks , You should move on . With a broken heart but have limits And dignity

Done caring what they want, what they need, who they are, why they lie. I’ve had enough for ten lifetimes.

@mmommo10

Жыл бұрын

same

Last year I was so focused on trying to understand why men play weird games. But now this year it doesn't matter to me. Freedom of the thought is much more better for my mental health. If a guy likes you. You will know and he won't play weird games.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, men & women are struggling which may look like weird games.

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Amen

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Some guys are very ego driven and know they r playing games with a woman. For example, I once had an ex to tell me that he loved to control me. My response was I love catching you in the lies you tell me. Not a very healthy relationship.

@3hugsandkisses

2 жыл бұрын

You are so right! A lot of this is common sense.

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, you said the magic words if a guy likes you he will show it and you will know it.

Agree that many divorced men and women have a lot of fear and doubt about getting close. I’ve had several men tell me unsolicited and often angrily, “I’m never getting married again. Once was enough.” This is a real turn off for me. I’m sorry they had a bad marriage and contentious divorce that cost them a lot of money, but this has nothing to do with me.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

So many people feel this way...

@kdphotos4691

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay - Then they need to grow up.

@flatandsplat

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I am recovering from a man you totally pursued me and once he got me, told me he didn't want a relationship, just a casual sexual friendship. All because he was hurt by his wife who cheated on him. My mind boggles

@andreaberryman5354

2 жыл бұрын

RIGHT, GIRL! That is an eye-roller. I'd say, "Oh. Okay. I don't think there's room for me then. Sounds like your plate is already full." 🤷‍♀️

@purplecow-hj1sr

2 жыл бұрын

I agree! Omg . Why do they vent this out loud?

It means he’s back with an ex or found a whole new woman

@janycebrown4071

2 жыл бұрын

Lololol 😂👌

@victorialsaint9046

2 жыл бұрын

If they not here they must put their energy somewhere else. 🙄I swear They ass pain!

@samkringle3456

2 жыл бұрын

Yup

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, you got that right.

@elainechatham5188

2 жыл бұрын

Then u write them off.

The right man will always treat you right. Don’t settle for people who aren’t sure about you. If they “ghost” you, burn insense so they can’t come back😁.

@CeciledeLuire

18 күн бұрын

😀

Good video but I'm different from a lot of women my age. I've been divorced for 12 long years, no kids, no drama, no baggage. I love myself and have done the personal development work. The issue is I can't seem to find an emotionally mature, normal guy! Or when I do, he's not that interested in me. So I'm getting off the online dating sites and hoping to bump into a good guy at a bookstore or the beach...because I'm so weary of spending time and money trying to strike up a conversation with men hiding behind the screens. I want to talk face to face and see if there's actual chemistry right from the get-go. Who's with me?

@helensanderson7092

2 жыл бұрын

Me absolutely. I've had enough failed relationships to last me lifetime and had my heart broken to many times to consider ever getting involved with anyone again

@janekarue9410

2 жыл бұрын

I am

@ShalimarPicasso

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agree. Most men are afraid of accomplished, established, mature and attractive women, especially men of our age. Most of the time you only see them running... It's a shallow pond at our age, not much fish in it

@capassoluigi7387

2 жыл бұрын

Even Sharon Stone is tired if the dating scenes.....

@capassoluigi7387

2 жыл бұрын

They all look for a quickie for free!!!!!!

I am 51 never married because men just break my heart.

If they are really interested in you no matter the situation he will be there for you! Im not a chaser and a ghoster but it a man pulls back and does not communicate "red flags" I have learned this .."your person" will match you and there will be no guessing! I hate the games and imaturity..If you like someone go for it!❤💯♐️

Usually prolonged silence from a partner is an expression of anger or displeasure. It's called the silent treatment. Distancing and ghosting is telling you they are not wanting to engage but they may recontact later when they are less busy and more needy.

@Lisah707

2 жыл бұрын

Yup and no thank you!

@amandasurratt4439

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly, spot on.

@sharonbartley808

2 жыл бұрын

And that's when you tell them where to go jump off.

@sharipeterson1126

Жыл бұрын

I was married to a man who did this prior to marriage and should have taken it as a giant red flag. It got much worse after we got married.

@jeanieleonard1445

Жыл бұрын

Yasss...

When men act like this is indication of their insecurities, fears and commitment. In other words they want their cake and eat too. Unfortunately, women have insecurities as well; but we open our hearts and give it all we can it is a remarkable expression of our true self. If he doesn’t want you just let it go and move on and learn this lesson❤️

As an 81 year old divorcee, I have been through a lot. I am past looking for someone at this point. I am more concerned with my health. Thank you for all your insights, you are very correct with the advice you are giving.

@RaveQueen_plur

8 ай бұрын

Wow any more advice ? I'm 46 and always getting hurt by men used etc.. I've never been married.

This guy makes one thing very clear to me and and that is men are not ready when they are in their 20-30s because they want to pursue sex and then later midlife they still are not ready because they emotionally played games when younger and now can't trust or have all sorts of issues and they still aren't ready! I think the common denominator are the men. A serious and mature man will want to settle down regardless of their age! It's the values your parents instilled in you and the values that your family have that shape you to be either a player or a family man!

I’m divorced and 37 years old. Is tough out there. Been alone for 5 years. Crazy

@capassoluigi7387

2 жыл бұрын

Even Sharon Stone stopped dating!!!!!!!!

@patrickbennett439

2 жыл бұрын

Im 39, feel 29, havent been married, not devorced, I cant find a woman that doesnt already have a stupid man already, if shes hot, well, everytime i meet her, shes not single.. wtf.. i only like single women that arent afraid to try to get a man, and pursue him a bit, let him know you really like him. Most women play to dam hard

@rozhang7353

2 жыл бұрын

Being single is not bad at all. Enjoy please! I divorced 99, and still on the market to make a choice for what is the best fit to my life. Finding someone to grow , support and nourish. If there is an one, he will be a plus to the life I cherish.

I haven't even watched any of this, but as far as I'm concerned his silence means he's playing games and not mature enough to have an adult relationship.

@danaglover6801

2 жыл бұрын

FACTS

I always say "silence speaks volumes " I have found out recently at 52 that being vulnerable is a strength in so many ways. It will prevent you from being angry and disconnected. To not fear being vulnerable can absolutely allow you to drop all barriers and feel what's suppose to be felt. With a general understanding. Some of us put on this tough man face so we don't look weak. And have been taught that being vulnerable is a weakness when that's far from the truth. Because after all of our hurts to still be able to be open and vulnerable is actually the strongest act you can take for yourself.

@elseMa5194

Жыл бұрын

Very well spoken... out of interesting experience🌹

@theholidaytaylor2906

Жыл бұрын

Love this

@IVvOOvVI

10 ай бұрын

If you tell the wrong person they can use that against you.

@sherriflemming3218

9 ай бұрын

Agree, not wise to be vulnerable to the wrong men.

@gemmahart3985

5 ай бұрын

What if he is not interested in your vulnerability? Or even worse - survives at your vulnerability- likes you being vulnerable as he feels important but you need to do it gracefully and in style and he may consider whether to meet your needs or not. That’s toxic for me. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, goes to gym, has a good job, garden, is financially stable, looks after himself, looks younger of his age - he thinks he is a catch! You need to do all the effort , but do it a bit assertively he will label it aggressive. Absolutely sick of his “peaceful”and “kind” demeanour of neglect. He may say - if you need help please let me know. That’s not type of a man I want to be with, especially after 45!

I just blocked him, I’ve had enough of ignoring, hot and cold and silent treatments. Enough of this stress

@NarcissisticEmpath

Ай бұрын

Blocking does nothing . The best thing is to just ignore him if he tries to get a hold of you again. And not feed into the love bombing. But the best thing is to truly get over it and move on

It seems like if the woman doesnt pursue the man then he goes quiet. It needs to go both ways. I don’t want to play games in order for a man to want to pursue me.

If you're at midlife, been married before and you're still doubtful when you're lucky to have a second chance at love, you're not worthy of my time. At this age you know very well there is no perfect partner, you know what is important and you should be less rigid.

Ladies, or men, there's nothing wrong with you when you get stuck with a insincere player. Who ghosts and gaslights you, tries to keep control of you through mind games. Yes, women aren't perfect either, but some of us are far more perfect than the losers we ended up with. Don't ever take the blame for that. When you're the one stuck holding the conversation, doing all the housework, and your spouse is working all kinds of extra and strange hours, ahem, know it's them, not you. If you have the means to get out, some of us don't, do it. You don't want to be 20 years in like I am, sharing a house and acting like a roommate with somebody who's just not nice at all, except when the mask is on, for the public, when he can handle it.

@ladytammy6886

2 жыл бұрын

You're with a narcissist hunni, leave!!

@tishagarrison9920

Жыл бұрын

I have spent 19 years enduring that. I am currently looking for a way out..

@myhno1230

Жыл бұрын

13 years of relationship,now he talks about marriage but i noticed in those years i now realized that he gaslight me,putting a show in front of my friends and family and shut me out when i raise concern about our relationship and my emotion

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

Well stated. I agreed

@bettycormier574

Жыл бұрын

I'm in that kind of relationship now and I want out but like you I don't have the means, so I decided to sell my house to get out of this relationship, I'm not that young anymore and I want a few peaceful years and who knows who I might find.

Silence means move on.

I feel a relationship should be easy comfortable and the key to success is communication. If you don't have these qualities it's not going to go far. Ladies or men our partners are supposed to be in our life to compliment not complicated. God bless

Sometimes Silence does NOT mean he's not interested anymore. There's reasons for everything and every behaviour. Mine went silent on me but he explained why so I understood and gave him space. Don't give up on your partner just because he's silent

@zoeedmonds4171

2 жыл бұрын

Silence is golden. Duck tape is silver 🤣

@blackunicorn7396

2 жыл бұрын

@@zoeedmonds4171 🤣

@jennycyl3595

2 жыл бұрын

I think that depends on at which stage you are in a relationship. If at the beginning and he goes silent, hes not an interested man

@iamaleo247

2 жыл бұрын

@@jennycyl3595: Right! 💯💯💯 Point… Blank… Period!

@Layla-hg4ux

Жыл бұрын

Don't buy their silence. Period If you're his priority, he wouldn't treat you like you're not important!!

*Recognizing when men are testing us or being distant can help us navigate relationships better. Let's strive for open communication and understanding, aiming for relationships where both partners feel secure and loved.*

I'm really shy and feel like a lot of men will go silent to test me and see if I will chase after them, but even if I have feelings, I tend to interpret that as they must not be that interested and it ends. IDk, if a man was that interested, would he test a woman by going silent or would that be too hard for him to do? It just makes me sad

@tarawalsh7045

Жыл бұрын

Me too. Life is too precious and short to waste like that.

I am a psychologist/therapist and a yoga teacher. Masculine and feminine energy are spiritual and energetic concepts, that's why they're not taught in 'scientific' fields. Western psychology is positivist. For the rest, I like how you differentiate between different relationships and cases. There is no one fits all, people have a lot of different things going on and not all cases are the same. Not everyone is a narcissist and a player. Having said that, if the silence continues and you tried to connect and ask what's going on and he's not responsive, that is a decision.

@SoulfulProphetess7

11 ай бұрын

Thanks 😊

@suzysurgent62

10 ай бұрын

Groovy baby

I don’t mind reaching out first and continuing conversation. But if he isn’t continuing it I’m not going to keep going. I figure when it’s the right person it won’t be so hard. We’ll both want to put in the work and it won’t be “work”. Connection, communication and intimacy go hand in hand.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I agree

@reallove675

2 жыл бұрын

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@reallove675

2 жыл бұрын

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@reallove675

2 жыл бұрын

✛𝟮𝟯𝟰8075547711⏯️⏯️⏯️⏯️

@specialk8927

Жыл бұрын

I’m tired of being the first one to apologize

I do the same to him. Don't get mad. But, when I do it back to him, he hates it. He doesn't know what I'm doing. I don't feel I owe him an answer.

@kimgordon3695

2 жыл бұрын

That's a stalemate

@victorialsaint9046

2 жыл бұрын

They don't like their own medicine! Mine did 22 days. I did over 5 weeks silent. He still complain about it! This day I told him he have to go now to found out what he want and make him happy. By then I hope I'm still here I said. Glad I don't feels soh bad like he make me feels like since I told him like tht. My life goes on......

Middle aged men are seeking either a nurse or a purse. If a man goes silent, he's withdrawn and it takes too much effort to breach the divide. Just move on.

Yes, it takes 2 people who are willing to learn HOW to grow together, willing to be emotionally vulnerable in order to build trust...and to communicate in honest, healthy respectful ways to be understood and to understand each other. If one is or both are unwilling or not open to this the relationship has little chance of surviving or if it survives has little chance of being a healthy relationship.

I wouldn't be with a man who wasn't mature enough for me!! Communication is the key!! Thankyou 🙏🇬🇧

@janegreen191

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, silence is unacceptable unless they tell you they want time off to think about things etc.

I'm not rebuilding anymore. I'm 60 years old. I'm starting over fresh. The past doesn't matter because I don't want the same things. I want simple and peaceful and joyful. If I can plug in to someone else and give them those things then I will. And if they can do the same for me then it's a good match. But I'm perfectly happy living my life with me and my loved ones around me creating good memories and enjoying experiences as they come my way. It took me a long time to get to this place and I'm not giving it up. And of course this is when my guy showed up. It's been a over a year now and we keep our own places because of family responsibilities. It will work long-term and we will combine households one day, or we won't. We are living in the right here and right now. I'm sorry it took me 40 years to figure this out but I think it's the secret to a happy life.

We had a disagreement and he has gone silent for 11 days smh. I messaged him and said if he can’t give me time and communication I respect that and we can go our separate ways and have still heard nothing! I have no choice but to move on. It sucks we could have had something beautiful.

@cayenneangel

2 жыл бұрын

His loss! Do not give this guy access to you ever again.

@NValc

2 жыл бұрын

But he dont want u are not important to him .. just accept it

@jessiechilela2271

2 жыл бұрын

My dear silence means he is not interested in you. Move on. Someone who loves you can't spend a week with talking to you. That's emotional stress.

@sobiaperez4484

Жыл бұрын

Think of it as a big blessing God will bring u the right guy Just ask him and pray for who ever it will be 🙏🙏🙏🙏

@Layla-hg4ux

Жыл бұрын

Not just he's not interested in you any more, but a kind game to punish you. He will come back if he runs out of narcissistic supply but do kot ever open the door for him. It will only get worse

Sometimes it could mean they are no longer attracted the way they were in the beginning. Men do chase women who are going through trials in their life. Because no matter what is going on in our lives when we want something we go get it.

You know what, I agree. After 3 years on and off with someone that goes silent but definitely wants to continue being involved with me, I learned that he likes me to show interest too and he has a lot of doubt's about my interest and his capacity to be enough for me. Which come from his previous marriage and childhood experiences. Once I opened up my mind to these facts and act humbly around it it has opened a world of alignment for us.

@foreveryoungpisces7426

2 жыл бұрын

Space creates sexual tension.

@andreaberryman5354

2 жыл бұрын

Right. This "women don't chase men" is horse pucky. Men WANT to be chased-so long as you don't get creepy about it. They want assurance you are for THEM, want THEM.

@dawncampbell9380

2 жыл бұрын

That's my problem! I'm too creepy about the chasing. I'm a total creeper.

@estelao.b.1473

Жыл бұрын

@@dawncampbell9380 hahahahha

@tereseczimbal8099

10 ай бұрын

Time for you to say that he's dithering and you wish him well. Then you will seen if he truly cares!

Distant and silence just creates distrust. Although I appreciate your message. 🤩❤ God bless.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! Thank you!

Ghosts belong in afterlife, you ghost me, you are dead to me. I have no time for these games.

Narcissists give you the silent treatment.

I am never doing the chaser/runner dynamic again. It's ridiculous and time wasting.

Self love to me is being abstant and avoiding unnecessary drama. Its quite liberating honestly and peaceful. Im happier alone. At the same time socializing with like minded people

@HakimaTANTRIKA_official

4 ай бұрын

What do you define as “drama” is a lack of emotional literacy. It’s my invitation to you that you learn how to clarify what drama is. Usually drama is a way to label another person needs and feelings without wanting to see and understand them.

@slimnaz00

4 ай бұрын

@@HakimaTANTRIKA_official I agree

I started connecting with someone, my soulmate and everything was amazing and then he said let's be friends. Broke my heart and soul on so many levels. It hurts like hell but trying to hold off the pain and try to move on. Men are so complicated!

@brownigirlpie

8 ай бұрын

At least he told you. He didn't ghost you which is worse because you never know why.

@StarDivine777

4 ай бұрын

It's very possible you met someone with narcissistic tendencies. They like to mirror us. We get love bombed them dumped. Narcs can't commit.

I love the way he doesn’t make a women feel horrible & he sees things from both ends

In my experience,men have gone silent for 4 or 5 days and then got back intouch.They've got back intouch as I haven't reached out to them when they haven't replied to a text.Their excuse was busy or only just seen your text 🙄. During the time that I was not hearing from them, I was ruminating and trying to work out just what game they were playing. Through my therapist,self love books and watching several of Jon's videos,I know that these were wounded men and I know that I was attracting these avoidant men as my default is anxious attachment.I am working on this so that I don't get into any other co dependant relationships with these types of men.The proof of the pudding is when I meet someone but I'm not looking at the moment but am continuing to work on myself and learning from Jon/Scooby Doo/Homie and the community here.I am having a lot of laughter along the way 😊

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Should I get a Scooby teeshirt? lol

@viviennev-thesassyone4248

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay I don't know Homie🤷🏾‍♀️🤣🤣

@kimturner9309

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay yes you should! And a Scooby Doo mask for Halloween 🎃

@dalebullock810

2 жыл бұрын

Next time anyone goes silent - go out and do lots of fun things! Maybe a make up or dew change. Social media pix allowed!

@viviennev-thesassyone4248

2 жыл бұрын

@@dalebullock810 Hi Dale.Thanks 😊All this happened over 2 years and I have done a lot of personal development work with a therapist,read the books and watching Jon's videos so hopefully,I won't be attracting the types of men that I described. I also have a very full life with lots of loving and compassionate friends and lots of hobbies .Jon has helped me realise that I need to have some compassion for some of these men( they are from my work place) as I know that they are deeply troubled.I am happily single and will meet someone when I feel the time is right.Let's hope that we all go on to have happy healthy relationships🙏🏾🙏🏾

I don’t take being “ ghosted “ to lightly, all it does is turns me away when I’m ghosted I’ve told him he still does it!!!? So I feel my feelings do not matter , then I get “your crazy for thinking this” other words it’s ALL ME 🤪🤣😂

Every man I have a relationship with is my 1st choice. I usually have several years between relationships. Therefore, whatever lessons I've taken I can apply to the new world of dating I'm re-entering.

@yanamarte4542

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely Karine. For me it's the same. Cheers, Yana

@angiemccoy7639

2 жыл бұрын

Same here, I don't jump from relationship to relationship

Thank you for clarifying. I went through the same thing in the early stages. As soon as I showed him more interest, he immediately called me and we had a 2 hr conversation. Now we are much closer. Communication is key.

Finally a man who gets what's really going on out there. Emotional immaturity. I am 65 yrs old and still struggle from with it. I truly enjoy your videos. Not only do I learn valuable information but I also get affirmation. Which means everything, since I only starting dating again 6 months ago, after 22 years alone. Thank you for your wisdom in my journey to find love and true connection. It's never to late. Never give up. Just breathe. Much love and true connection everyone. 🥰

This is the first guy I’ve “dated” that does mini ghost periods. We’ve been dating for 3 months and 2 times he’s ghosted for 3 days but he’s always come back to me. I gave him the space. I do know he’s going through something with work…don’t really know about anything else . But not just that, the communication hasn’t gotten to that deep level yet. I’ve been trying to be patient only because I figured maybe he really is moving slow with me and not ready to go deep? I’ve asked questions in the beginning. He would ignore em or give me one word answers and never ask me anything . So I stopped asking . Trying to give him the opportunity to make those moves. But, he’s been consistent overall, and currently really trying to make time to see me. I see his efforts…that is one reason I’m still hanging around.

@tarawalsh7045

Жыл бұрын

If no one is interested or curious about you in equal measure....bye bye. That goes for men, women, all types of relationships, including family.

I'm 65. No time for games or guys who don't know what they want, especially in my age group. If you're not grown by the time you're near or at retirement, don't waste my time. We have to be on the same wavelength. I'm not afraid to be alone. I have been for years and even if I get into a relationship, I don't want marriage or cohabitation. I did the second for too long and I'm not doing it again.

@judyperri9496

4 ай бұрын

ThTs where I’m at If you aren’t clear in your intentions, I’m out I have so many things I want to do in life and I don’t want to waste time on someone that can’t take the chance

Thank you for all the honesty I needed to hear them today.

Yes! It resonates with me. I noticed the more I am emotional vulnerable and say what I mean and feel he's very responsive. The more open I am the closer we get. Baby steps... it doesn't happen overnight.

@gemmahart3985

5 ай бұрын

Good luck with that !

Silence definitely means different things in different stages of a relationship! Early on clearly they aren’t interested. Once committed there is something else going on. The events surrounding the silence will help you determine what happened and what to do about it!

I slept with a guy on the first date, I texted him and he texted me back right away the next day. However, my last text was not responded to and the next day was New Year’s and I texted him a Happy N.Y text and he still didn’t text me back. I texted him he was too old to ghost. He texted me right away he didn’t ghost me. Anyways, his silence for one day an a half said a lot. I went to one more date with him then ended it. He was probably happy I did it first. 😢

I love your honesty and directness!!!

Love your tshirt!. Lot of jewels in your speech: the "know the human" you are dating and the intimacy/into-see-me. Thanks!

Love this, Jonathon - We do want men who are intentionally seeking a healthy and connected relationship and YES, the only way to know that is to ask deeper questions from the getgo. Valuable information - thank you. And btw, I love love love being part of your FB group -you share so generously.

There's so much truth to what he says. I love it.

You are incredible . You are so right . I’m so glad I found you. You open my eyes, to possibilities. Going to order the first book , Then go down the list . Thank you

Thank you for your down to earth/realistic advice on dating. I'm 32 (not exactly your target audience as you said), but I still found this video useful.

This is something I NEEDED to hear as a 48 yr old woman. I believe I have finally found the partner...the love I've really wanted all my life. Interested in the books as well. Thank you

You definitely are resonating with me & I love learning! Ty 🤗

This is the first video I find very help and speaking exactly what needs to be done in order to build a strong a relationship

I got it! The book Eight Dates. I forgot how much I’d read for Gottman before, but I quote all the time to myself and others. I’m not through it all, but I agree with Johnathon here. It is well worth reading, even if you think you’ve read and watched a lot. It’s good, even if a refresher and for synthesizing into steps the ability to progress a relationship intentionally. PS I did share the book with my date, and though I’m not sure he’s buzzing for it…lol, he will appreciate the questioning.

My heart rate was increasing listening to your advice, in a good way. I relate so much with what you're saying here and it makes so much sense. I've known this guy forever but not at the level we're starting to explore. He's so quiet emotionally but I know he's always liked me. He's also my brother's best friend and those doubts are present on both sides. I want to take it slow but hold interest too. Thanks for the advice 🙏 💘

It’s not all doubts . Sometimes they’re entertaining other people. They disappear for more than a day? I’m out.

I am 45 and you're DEAD ON!!! 😍 Jonathan!!!! I'm glad you introduced those books in a "lil" more detail I'm going to check the second one out...

Thank you Jonathan. I enjoy listening to your transparency of how men and women are at mid life. I chew on it for awhile and examine myself with the things I am learning. I appreciate you.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I appreciate that! Thank you and for the record, I feel this is one of my best. Much appreciated.

@Barbara-zo6pq

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay it was a top discussion on my list. Hit several truths that affect all of us at mid life. Good job!❤

This is good advice. I'm older now and all the dating advice out there is not relevant to my life. This is practical!

Love your straight talking communication & passion !( You have great personality 😃) You also gave me a real belly laugh today 😂 Thank you so much .(I really needed this today )

You have great taste in T-shirts. And your dialogue is right on to me. I have much to learn so I will keep watching you.

Good morning J, thank you so much for taking the time to produce and share amazing videos😃 Hugs from Boston

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you and for the record, I feel this is one of my best. Much appreciated.

@diamond_girl29

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay Definitely is Jonathon! It is helping me tremendously. I’ll be listening to it again. Think I also need to join your midlife love mastery group.

I’ve been with a man for 6 years who falls into the category you spoke of; divorced, fearful and who would go silent from time to time. Being 11 years his younger, and rather naive to all the things relationships, I fell into the trap using ‘feelings’ to guide our relationship. Wanting the fairytale, not entertaining the reality. Often reaching out (way too much), to gain his attention and to get him to respond to me, I was only looking at my needs, not his, not ours. To combat this I thought if I only changed my behaviours, all would be ok…in the end reality prevailed. I would do anything to get him back and to have one more chance to finally share that I am learning, but I fear that this last push away from another has finally solidified our fate. Time and the Universe only knows, Thanks Jonathan for your honesty and insight, wish I would have stumbled across your channel years before, but I think to grow, I needed to learn the hard way.

@dianevitale1214

Жыл бұрын

In my instance, it was my dependency on the other that had me always trying to find what I could do. That magic key to have him treat me lovingly. Maybe, if I did this or maybe if I did that. Had to be ME. Bottom line: He had a huge intimacy problem nothing and no woman could crack open that shield. I had to face and change inside me that tolerated his abusive behavior. I left him after 32 yrs of marriage, Waste of life.

You are the best for advise.. I really like your aproach ,very clear and honest always . Thank you f the suggestion of books I'll start soon !

"Situationships" are a drug... Feel good in the moment, and mess with you later (BIG TIME!). Avoid it!! Avoid! Avoid! Avoid! *Just because we don't talk, doesn't mean I don't think about him. I think about him constantly. I distance myself from him, , because I know I can't be with him...* When he'd get mad/upset/hurt/whatever: he'd give me the silent treatment. REMINDER TO SELF: Reasons for narcissistic silent treatment: * Stonewalling * Gaslighting * Emotional immaturity * Lack of interpersonal skill * Victimhood * Dysregulation * Doing to me, what was done to him * Terrified of conflict * Not knowing any other way * Fear/panic/anxiety/terror * Desperation * Power over * Regaining a (false) sense of control * Punishment EVEN STILL, regardless of the above, I miss him and what we had, our friendship, our connection: WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING. But he never really cared about me. He used me and discarded me. Replaced me so easily. Why is she better than me? Why? What makes her so much more profoundly better than me? Is he her best friend now? Or maybe is there even more between them? Why couldn't he love me like he loves her? He's replaced me with another. In an instant: just like that. HE REPLACED ME. HE SHATTERED MY HEART. HE RAPED MY SOUL. I'm all alone and suffering in anguish, and they are living happily ever after together. The PTSD and the loneliness and the grief that he's given me... Makes it so that I can't breathe. I drowned. I suffocate. I die inside. I'm in hell with no escape. NO ESCAPE. I need him. I loved him. He raped my soul: brutally viciously violently maliciously. Every night: nightmares. Every day: panic attacks. I want to die. Every morning I wake up in despair, desperately praying to die. I can no longer bear the pain. I could die from the pain of missing my best friend. He betrayed and abandoned me, discarded me like garbage. My mind can't fathom, my heart can't comprehend. I live in perpetual panic and terror and loneliness and longing... I'm so alone in the world. I die of fear. I'm so fucking traumatized and terrorized and terrified. I'm dying inside. My soul is raped. He's given me severe PTSD. Severe! Severe! Severe! How and when will I ever heal? In 2 days, it'll be exactly 5 months... God, as I walk through this hell and heartache and grief, I pray you guide and direct and hold me... I won't be stuck in hell anymore. Enough is enough!!! It's time to be free: in Jesus's name! I’m giving my life to Jesus! 100%! (ANOTHER REMINDER TO SELF: When you chase a man, you NEVER get the man, and you ALWAYS lose yourself!) *I will no longer be the kind of person who trembles when life walks by her door... I will, instead, be the woman who makes life tremble... when I walk by ITS door!* I will stop fighting myself and start fighting FOR myself! ONE MORE REMINDER TO SELF: 5 Behaviors of a man who lies, and 2 important bits of advice! 1. He can't tell the same story twice. 2. He's distant, emotionally unavailable and secretive. 3. He doesn't take personal accountability. 4. He's quick to turn the tables on you. (Classic deflection) 5. He's extremely defensive and cannot handle any criticism (even when you approach subjects lovingly). 6. Trust your Intuition!!! 7. Ask God for guidance.

Silence is a blessing.

Your point of view is so refreshing, very valuable content ❤️🙌

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏

You have great insights. Thank you for sharing them.

Thx, jonathon! Your book recommendations are helping me build my emotional security ! Hope to share it with a great man 🙏Your shirt says your young at heart, just like you videos say about you! ❤

I find statements like "men go after what they want" or "men move mountains for the women they love" dehumanizing as if they're not just like us with their own programmings, limiting beliefs, negative voices, etc. Even those who are younger could have had their share of painful experiences to not go after what they want.

@nursejen1111

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree! Every situation is unique and each person has gone through different things. I think alot of woman end up internalizing his lack of emotional availability or going silent, most of the time its actually not personal! It doesn't mean "he's just not into you" sometimes its simply poor timing!