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@soniatucker9830

2 жыл бұрын

Jonathan. I am so confused about these men.some of then just talk.for the hell of it.they say one thing and do the other.what the heck.do they realy want .?

@lindajones2994

2 жыл бұрын

Jonathan I give you 👍👍👍I absolutely agree with what you shared here. Can you buy these books 📚 from a bookstore? I often wonder why so many men that go on dating sites are only looking for sex, before even getting to know you as a person. I gave up on wanting to meet someone online because of this. Thanks so much for caring about women. 😄

@robynstory8339

2 жыл бұрын

I have learned over the yeats to talk and listen to what they say and then watch what they do. That will tell you what they really want.

@TortoisePig

2 жыл бұрын

Where are the questions?!? Get to the point! Waste of time, my headphones are dying! Tell me something I don't know! Why tf else would I click on a video with this this tittle!? Absolute waste of 20 minutes. Doesn't even start to get to the point until there are less than 3 minutes left in the video. I'm never coming back to this channel.

@jacquelinedegruyter5356

2 жыл бұрын

Ďegrüyter jaçqüeliñe ikc was veŕgeteñweĺķe vraag dat je stelde

I am 52 years old and he is 55. For the first time in my life, I am walking in love instead of falling in love. His level of patience is so appreciated! Men always wanted to lay me down instead of lifting me up. Even if this relationship doesn’t work, the level of respect we have for each other is priceless. Pray for us!

@a.stewart2641

2 жыл бұрын

So happy for you!

@goddessgood118

2 жыл бұрын

This couldn’t be more similar to my own situation, if I’d have written it myself. I do pray for you and your union…hopefully, you’ll be gracious enough to do the same for me. Blessings upon blessings to you. 🌹

@christineribone9351

2 жыл бұрын

I don't believe in prayers, it will be what it will be with or without prayers. But I wish you the best a n d its good that you experience a healthy relationship.

@shawnasteele5288

2 жыл бұрын

@@christineribone9351 I agree

@janeharris6734

2 жыл бұрын

How wonderful for you both 💚🌼🙏

If you’re dealing with a narcissist, it doesn’t matter what you say, what you do, how much you try to be upfront and honest, narcissist lie and pretend to be exactly what you’re looking for. This only works if you’re dealing with a healthy emotionally quality person.

@nrosa4051

Жыл бұрын

So true !!!

@nrosa4051

Жыл бұрын

No substance

@ethelpuetz3049

Жыл бұрын

Jonathan I don't know if you got my message or not this is Ethel from Missouri I am now engaged I'm getting married again I have two beautiful stuff children I'll have and a good relationship with the man I love and he tells me all the time I love you be careful be safe and when he comes home February 14th we are going to start our life together thank you for helping me

@ethelpuetz3049

Жыл бұрын

I don't know if you got my message but thanks to you I found my true love we're going to get married February 14th we're buying a house together and buying a new car together thank you for you being there for me I like having a big brother on my side

@melisherwood5300

Жыл бұрын

so true…been there!

Just met an Italian man (54 years old) - total "Love Bomber" - I live in California; from the beginning I told him I wasn't going to jump in bed with him too soon! I thought he understood, went out last week for a drink after he got off work. Seems he couldn't throw back his drink fast enough whereby he seemed to rush me out to the car because, as he said "I can't wait to kiss you!" - which we did. During that time, I reminded him I wasn't going to his place nor was he coming to mine (note: we've never been to the other's residence). Fast forward to Sunday (tonight) --- I haven't heard a peep from him since; and, I saw him on Thursday evening. I am very, very glad I didn't acquiesce and jump into bed with him during a passionate moment ... 🙄

Your dating advice only works if you are dealing with an honest man. My last two relationships said they wanted everything I did. They were both lying.

@franklinstephen3268

2 жыл бұрын

Hello how are you doing?

@ProudKansan08

2 жыл бұрын

That's how my first husband was. He was a pathological liar, and now I'm wondering if he is a narcissist, because I found out all he married me for was my credit cards and having a maid to cook and clean nonstop and if I didn't agree with that, then I didn't really love him. He wanted me to go along with his shady ways and I said, sorry, I wasn't raised like that, so didn't go along with his schemes. I wanted to divorce him a few days after I got married to him because I found out he was a big liar and phony but my Mom is a strict Catholic and she said I couldn't divorce him, I made my bed, I got to sleep in it. I stayed with him for seven years and finally, I kicked him out and served him with divorce papers. My second husband was wonderful. He had his faults to be sure, but, we had 30 years of being together before he died 20 months ago. I started dating again six months ago and I guess I shall see where it leads. So far, we're having a blast and he does things my late husband never wanted to do--like travel and go out to concerts, dance, and other things.

@maidinulster

2 жыл бұрын

Same here

@lynellb

2 жыл бұрын

My last lied too 😟. We have to learn to discern the men we date...vet them to "see" if they are worth our time...self love plays a huge part too...

@SighPriestess

2 жыл бұрын

How long did you wait to have sex with them?

I am dating a man who wants to wait till we fall in love. He’s 71 & I am 67. So refreshing after all the years of dating the instant sex creeps, then they ghost! Hold out ladies it’s so worth it.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@jonandlizzy

2 жыл бұрын

You believe that at 71!?

@susannesilber3077

2 жыл бұрын

@@jonandlizzy I am 67, 71 is in my dating age!

@shutit4024

2 жыл бұрын

❤️

@susanburmeister9123

2 жыл бұрын

This is what I'm looking for but I don't need it.

Key takeaways of the video: 1.Intencionally is missing in the dating process 2. Hook ups have replaced the genuine desire for connection and relationships 3. Some women operate from a co-depend perspective and men from narcissist perspective 4. Don't ever give your power away to men. 5. Pornography and social media has devalue women (or people in general). 6. It takes time to build trust

@Soshi701

Жыл бұрын

SPELLING!!

@valettadavis823

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely ....don't ever give your power away.

@man.i.literally.failed6772

Жыл бұрын

Women have also de valued themselves.

@wendyshoowaiching4161

Жыл бұрын

Generally Men's are not loyal to women, not worth committing into a serious relationship and falling in love is like dating an alien of short term especially Westerners. They just want sex.

@dianneciresi7208

Жыл бұрын

I did from being naive as he was a narcissist which I never knew what that was til I learned the hard way by getting hurt, investing too much too soon got blocked & ghosted while he put me in the friendzone along the way..

100%💛! I wish more woman would stop being scared that if they don’t sleep with a man on his terms, they will lose him. It is ok to lose a selfish guy who doesn’t care whether she feels safe enough/ emotionally connected with him to be intimate. I don’t like to blame women but as a woman myself, I do blame them. Please, stop letting men get away with selfishness and disrespect. We make them the way they area

@silvisil3770

2 жыл бұрын

… it’s SO MUCH MORE than just “ok” to lose a selfish guy who doesn’t care. It’s literally a deliverance, one of the best blessings you can get from up above. This reminder is like a water filter, a strainer if you want. Say no to men who will only drain your energy and your self-worth. There are good men out there !!!

@Lil-Be

2 жыл бұрын

@@silvisil3770 💯%🙌

@mlueva1

2 жыл бұрын

Let’s be honest. If a man gets upset that you don’t wanna sleep with him when you’re not ready, then that already is your sign to let him go. Right?

@Lil-Be

2 жыл бұрын

@@mlueva1 Exactly! He doesn’t respect you and your feelings.

@voulafisentzidis8830

10 ай бұрын

One guy got quite frisky after our first date so I sent him home with his tail between his legs. The next day I called him to apologise as, although I was polite, I thought I might have come across as too harsh. I apologised and told him I wasn't like that to which he responded "All the best girls are" so I said "Then you'd best go find yourself one" said goodbye and hung up. He asked me out again several times but I kept declining until he stopped. Eliminate the riff raff promptly.

He told me sex isn’t the important thing . It’s a bonus if it happens . Cuddling , talking , fun activities we enjoy together is more important . Cultivating a friendship . Having up close and personal time only when I become comfortable or desire that .

@user-sh2tr9jd3n

4 ай бұрын

I wish my guy told me that.

You're absolutely right, no one is ready for a healthy relationship until they value and respect themselves.

@nmania3

2 жыл бұрын

Hmm it really does always comes back to self respect and love, huh?

You can ask the question, but it depends on their honesty. Most guys out there are not honest at all and are good at pretending that they are serious about commitment.

@user-yd8xt5tz6c

6 ай бұрын

Maybe they scared to… l don’t no but I guess it’s about finding what we want. I don’t no what do you think.

“Using intimacy to create connection is backwards. Connection creates intimacy, because connection presumes trust.” **This was an awesome quote that I read in psychology today probably seven or eight years ago lol unfortunately - I do not have the author’s name so I cannot and WILL NOT take credit for this quote. I photographed it and kept it on my phone so I would never forget it! I’m really enjoying the content on this channel. I was widowed back in 2013 at the age of 46. I had a very nice marriage for 15 years. When I went back out into the dating arena two years later to try to find some companionship I was aghast at what had happened the deterioration in communication, respect and effort. Not to mention character and moral conduct. I could go on and on. A lot of people ask me why I’m not dating or why I haven’t found somebody. I am still a believer that the men do the pursuing and the women do the choosing. A lot of these people that make comments say I am “old school “. I’m not going to suffer in regards to my self-respect and moral character to achieve companionship. I will not do it! I think women have become too overly aggressive and it’s throwing things out of balance. I think it’s confused men and I think it sent the wrong message that they’re entitled to certain things. If God blesses me with a divine connection if someone comes in then that’s wonderful. If not I will be OK because I got through the death and grief of losing my husband and thank God I am doing OK. I am so thankful that I got to experience the deep love devotion and connection that goes along with a successful marriage. Some people go through their entire life and they never find it. I am grateful and consider myself blessed that I was able to experience that once in my life. It has blessed me with wonderful memories.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Building intimacy is not the same as you state "using" intimacy. Connection or spending time with a person doesn't necessarily create intimacy.

@FriskyTendervittles

Жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay what does create intimacy then? I have zero idea what intimacy is. I’m forty and I can say with confidence I’ve never experienced it 😞

@HeavenlyLights

Жыл бұрын

I completely get what you are saying and wholeheartedly agree.

@eveefstathiou3714

Жыл бұрын

I agree totally

@vonnytighe517

Жыл бұрын

What a beautiful comment. Much appreciated, and thanks for posting it. I entirely agree that there's too much emphasis on sex now. We should make a connection with someone and build trust before hopping into bed. Sex seems to be expected nowadays almost immediately😢

The question to ask before sex is: Are we on the same page? For example: Do we want a relationship? Both may say yes, but a relationship may mean different things to both of you. So, it's important to clarify what each of you wants. For example: A relationship might mean shared activities 2-3x a week for you and for the other person, it might mean seeing you whenever they feel like it, which might not be very often.

@TheJuneuk

Жыл бұрын

You do not have sex out of marriage,simple as that!

@theresiamalthaner2667

Жыл бұрын

M

@Juke582

Жыл бұрын

@@TheJuneukthat’s unrealistic!!! Espec in older age as you do t want a man who can’t even get hard! Can’t even show intimate love! That’s very important you just Deni I shed it as if it’s last… it’s on top 3 reasons to be together! Geez 🙄

@lizh1970

10 ай бұрын

​@@TheJuneukwhat if you don't married , do you suggest we all be nuns x

People show you who they are. Believe them. Friends first. Watch how they act, clear communication and backup what they promise. . It takes time.

@Dancediva240

Жыл бұрын

sad thing is they behave rightly and sincerely for ppl they actually do want. So, I think it's not so much how they are. Just how they are with YOU and it's your bad luck you have to see that side of them that they wouldnt have shown someone they actually wanted.

@zoilarodriguez1532

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely 💯.... We have to have a healthy self esteem....to be able to find love u Must love yourself....

@juliaarambula3153

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!!! I just don’t understand why friends first (months!!!!) is a dumb idea to most people. Then they complain after the fact when they done gave the cow away. It’s just a bunch of BS to say in the first few months these strangers are relationship material.

@Dancediva240

Жыл бұрын

@@juliaarambula3153 because if a man is interested in you, he will be disheartened sometimes to learn you just wanna be friends and your mind may or may not change about him, and he might move along. If I show a guy interest and he says let's be friends first, I would feel the same - bummed. Anyway there's no guarantee he is gonna be sincere while being your friend. He may just bide his time and say all the things he knows you wanna hear.

Since I became christian everything is easy. No sex before marriage. Bam! I don't have to worry about somebody's intentions and games. I'm finally free. I don't have to waste my life anymore on people who are of no value. A guy will tell a woman anything she wants to hear. A man will say anything. Don't ask a guy anything. Look at his actions. Actions tell everything. Loving is doing not talking.

@CydnotCharrise1

2 жыл бұрын

I am a Christian who has been celibate for decades. Am I tempted? Yes. However, I am sticking to my guns. And I'm not selling myself short. Maybe I'll be celibate the rest of my life. I was a wild child in my youth ( 60s and 70s ) but I'm not interested in going back to something that didn't give me the soul satisfaction I need. I know I'm a treasure so why settle for a trash digger when a treasure hunter might find the treasure he has been looking for? If there is a man out there, the right man, he is worth waiting for. But if not, that is ok too.

@karenwilliams2068

2 жыл бұрын

I'm not saying because Christian s do not believe in sex before marriage yes that is easier..however I disagree on games / intentions they get caught up..and you need to ask those questions..as ur dating to get them to answer and watch their actions if there is a match there still men

@authenticme5708

2 жыл бұрын

That's right. Our bodies are Christ's also. No sex before marriage.

@lynellb

2 жыл бұрын

Kajkabea you're so right!!!

@renatawarec

2 жыл бұрын

@@authenticme5708 be careful in some cases its way worse after marriage

I knew a man who thought I should have sex with him without him wanting to know much of anything about me. (Well more than one) Seems many older guys act this way. I’ve had a pretty interesting but challenging life. When I talked about what I’m interested in his response was “Oh, you want someone who wants to do what you want to do.” My reply was “no, I want someone who is going in the same direction.”

@robinward9013

2 жыл бұрын

Same direction exactly!! Wish I could find a woman who wants to set the goals, and achieve then.

@ladyviking89

2 жыл бұрын

I live a boring life compare to others.

@robinward9013

2 жыл бұрын

@@ladyviking89 wait till you find your partner in crime 😊

@debraarnold5250

3 ай бұрын

Agreed

My bf and I talked about what we wanted and made sure we were on the same page. Every weekend we’d talk over a nice meal, so the communication was always on spot. We worked through a lot of growth together this way! It really strengthened our relationship.

Woman need to realize loving themselves, friends, family members can be very fulfilling. It is nice to have a loving partner. It is not worth sacrificing your values just to have a man. Men think about sex about every 10 minutes. It is not your responsibility to satisfy their needs and not have your own met.

@lisamac8503

2 жыл бұрын

I agree Before you become involved with anyone be sure you are whole unto yourself There is a huge difference between need and love If you do not trust the person you are with then it NOT love and if you feel that one man is going to fulfill your life in all areas then you are all ready in trouble Have a life outside of your relationship (I am not speaking of cheating etc) It is not your job to make someone happy Relationships are about balance If there is no balance then you will not be content

@andeannafarnes4719

2 жыл бұрын

Bad sex is not worth agreeing to.

So sick of the "make him miss you" "get your ex back" bull shit advice being put out there. I can't make a man do anything and no, I don't want any of my exes back either. My parents' dating standards are no longer out there (I'm 57 by the way). I just want honest conversation, quality time, to enjoy the ride and let things unfold.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I agree

@siaitsme6800

2 жыл бұрын

@@annaakatsa8182 Exactly...!!

@deborahwalker1208

2 жыл бұрын

This is stuff put about by some dating coaches out there. Advice given is so restrictive. Jonathan is not one of these coaches. Self love first, self respect, clear intentions and boundaries!

Dating today is such a mess. 🥺 It’s almost impossible to find someone that is honest and wants a real connection.

This is precisely why i have remained celibate and not dated at all in 5 years since ending my previous marriage. My ex-husband had secret dating hook up profiles during our marriage and hooked up secretly on the side whilst i lived in a loveless and sexless marriage. Unfortunately my ex husband told me what i wanted to hear and then proceeded to live a secret double life. Trust is so important in a relationship. Honesty and trustworthiness is vital right from the beginning of a relationship. Without it you are living in a lie. Thank you for the great advice. Yes human relationships were so different in the 1980s.

@gracegifty6845

2 жыл бұрын

Having good one is enjoyable😃

@gaborb6577

Жыл бұрын

Shame on the one who requires marriage but does not give love andnpassion. Pure money pump

“I reserve sex for a certain level of relationship” That’s what I tell guys I’m dating now that I’m taking things slow with men.

@moisesbeyond

2 жыл бұрын

after years of giving it freely to others now you expect the next one pay a full prices for a used one....yeah right sounds fair

@LL-zm3cj

2 жыл бұрын

@@moisesbeyond I guess you have to pay for your sex but that’s not what I’m talking about. I reserve sex for a certain level of relationship so that I can decide if I want that man in my life.

@moisesbeyond

2 жыл бұрын

@@LL-zm3cj and men reserve relationship for a certain type of women.....and seems you are not that kind of women

@moisesbeyond

2 жыл бұрын

@@LL-zm3cj you dont decide the relationship but men....you only decide if you are going to have sex or not...Men decide what kind of relationship want with a woman.

@filipeandrade9697

Жыл бұрын

@@moisesbeyond This!

I have been married 42 years. Respect, loyalty, honesty is everything. I believe woman today give themselves to men. This is wrong. I've seen it with my daughter . She sees a guy for a year. He just has discovered she has two children. Trust is earned. I believe a woman should never put up with a controlling man. But, we do it.

@jessio4312

2 жыл бұрын

42yrs =;lots of skeletons in the closet = lots of turning blind eye .. don't sit on. Your high horse ..pls

@audreymay9378

2 жыл бұрын

@@jessio4312 😅😂 turning a blind eye

As a woman who has been married for 26 years, I feel I have spent much of it trying to have my husband understand that women feel deeply where men tend to be more visual. It is nice to feel loved, wanted, and respected. You hit it right on the nose saying temptation & sexual instant gratification is out there & I feel it DOES in a sense make women feel devalued as men get a false sense of what sexual intimacy is. Sometimes, no matter what I do sexually, it doesn't feel enough and it can be frustrating. I've also heard " Well, you two have been married soo long & maybe he's bored". Well, I can say, at 50, I am keeping more spicy than ever. If men could try to express their feelings better as opposed to the women always having to get it out, it sure would help a lot. Also, men, if you have a spouse who loves you on a soul level, supports your needs, takes care of you in every way, please tell that person how much they are appreciated, wanted & needed. This is a two way street after all.

@amortalbeing

2 жыл бұрын

honey your marriage lasted 26 years just becasue he did exactly this. were he to act like what you wanted, your marriage would have long ended. let men be men and you be you!

@babsgannon3593

2 жыл бұрын

@@amortalbeing Have you had a long relationship is my first question. Second My marriage lasted because I have worked at it & put the time & effort into it. Most people do not and easily give up these days mostly for selfish reasons HONEY!!

@babsgannon3593

2 жыл бұрын

I'm not understanding your point? My husband has emotional issues from life sure, but wouldn't that make you want to do better.

@ellesbells902

2 жыл бұрын

I know YouR Point: "Poor me, I am so good and work so hard and am injusticed. If you have justice, Be Grateful. Me? I'm not happy because I do not Have justice." ...whatever lady

@ellesbells902

2 жыл бұрын

Let me be succinct. It is not all about you. You are not the sun. The world does not revolve around you. Try being more humble and attentive to your man's thoughts and feelings. You are self absorbed and repelling what you desire.

PRAYER: - PERFECT HEALTH - ABUNDANT WEALTH - TRUE LOVE

I wish I had known this information two summers ago when I met a 61yr old who started off sweet and "innocent" but shortly played every game in the book, including ghosting. I was at higher level of consciousness then, and showed deep compassion, patience and understanding, because he was a two year widower. I was left totally confused. Now, I can apply these teachings on my next prospect. Keep up the heart work! ❤

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

👍

@natashabrooks8735

2 жыл бұрын

I dated a widow he was 57 me 49, I unfortunately gave him a huge licence to do anything, because of his situation....it was hell on earth

@soniatucker9830

2 жыл бұрын

At 61 .you would have thought they are done with that kind of stuff. That goes to show .

@anndillard8681

2 жыл бұрын

@@patod5392 A book to read FEAST OF MEN - story of a woman's heart..

@Lil-Be

2 жыл бұрын

Dating widower can be very tricky and play on our empathy. I dated one for 6 months and it took me over a year to recover after the breakup. I was completely f.. d up 😓

I totally agree. I couldn't imagine being seen as a "hook-up" at age almost 75 and yet, that happened to me last year. He was deceptive in his intentions but it didn't take me long to figure it out and he was gone.

@GoOutside321

2 жыл бұрын

Why don’t they just pay for a sex worker? Oh, then they would have to pay for a sex worker.

@tinalettieri

2 жыл бұрын

@@GoOutside321 What I didn't get was we had a common interest, which was how we met but he seemed more interested in my body than my mind. I look pretty good but I've had no work done and I am not an extreme workout granny so I would have expected most men to look to someone much younger for that sort of "companionship." I'm not rich and he knew that so it was just weird. I really never felt so disrespected in my life.

@GoOutside321

2 жыл бұрын

@@tinalettieri I hear you, I feel you, I know your pain.

@tinalettieri

2 жыл бұрын

@@GoOutside321 thanks but he wasn't worth any pain. I left and was fine.

@nanfeliciano5465

2 жыл бұрын

I hear you ... that's scary as I'm in my 60's 🤔🥴

This is just FABULOUS. Over and over in my life, I've been shocked to find that the people I THOUGHT I knew ... turned out to have values very different from mine. Not just men, but my women friends too. It's crazy important to NOT ASSUME that the person in front of us has our values ... but to spend time finding out, to put in the time and the work necessary ... and to ask the questions that will help us to ACTUALLY know.

Jonathon, LOVE LOVE LOVE the "dating vow"!!!! Starting over in my 60's is soooo challenging because dating is SO unlike anything I know. Really awesome to know I have a "big brother" out there!

I miss the times,back in 80's ,90's,people were much nicer, we talked one an other,wrote letters and so on. Think the phones,Internet, media is a lot to blame. The book" Why men love bithces " is good 💛 Great teaching 🥰🦋❤

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I agree

Why when men pull away it is called "testing" a woman & when a woman tries tactics to test a relationship, it is called "playing games"?

People think that honest communication is boring but as a woman in her 30’s and having gone through many dysfunctional relationships, honesty is like music to my ears and rathe flattering especially if it’s coming from a man. Also, my main attraction to a man is when he makes me feel safe. I won’t date a man unless he knows how to make me feel safe

Thank you for supporting an approach to relationship building that focuses on honest conversations from the start, establishment of trust as a core value, and honoring the right to have standards for connecting with another person. I have learned, over many years, that trust and respect - for one’s self and the other person - are equal in importance to love in a successful relationship. I am waiting, unapologetically, for all three of those elements to align in the way that both feels and is, intrinsically, “right” before I commit to someone.

I love the analogy of two snowpea (or tomato, pumpkin etc) plants next to each other, with their own trellises so they each have their own support. They have their own roots, their own energy, their own nutrients and thrive next to each other. They don't intertwine too much and don't strangle the other. They don't compete or need each other for survival.

Jonathon you’re adorable! I have followed feminine energy coaches for years . Ruh roh. I’m 39 and a single mom and it’s so hard out there ! I feel like men feel we are all disposable now . Men have no problem telling me I’m hot or trying to hook up but when it comes to moving things forward they always seem to pull away. It sucks ! Really a self esteem crusher! I have a son with autism as well. I like the term luggage ! Great script too!

There needs to be more authentic people like you out here!! Thank you for sharing and helping people recognize and understand how important it is to love yourself and realize things….morals values etc you r the bomb! Lol

Thank you! Your information is the first honest information that I have listened to by someone who has the concept of a healthy relationship down pat! Communication is the key ingredient in a healthy relationship. I believe in getting to know a person as a friend first before committing to anything. Discussing one another's wants and expectations is paramount!

Women become co-dependent, men are selfish--BOOM. "Are we on the same page?" Good question. Here's one that brings fear into the guy's eyes: "Do you think you're good at relationships?" Watch for his facial reaction and vocal tone. Says everything.

@wendylebeau1542

2 жыл бұрын

Well I gave my guy friend Steve karnes so many chances

@gerafinali4384

2 жыл бұрын

unless he's a narcissist... There won't be any wobble in his voice when he answers yes, totally convinced that he's telling the truth.

I don't care about a man's past. Vulnerability is attractive. I can't stand these rappers devaluing and degrading women.

You are right on...I've been burnt so many times and was my fault for being uneducated in this area. It doesn't help being in such a dysfunctional family while growing up. Learning to have a relationship starts with your parents if there wasn't one that sure makes it difficult identifying the correct mate. God bless and keep the great info coming!

This is exactly what I’ve felt since my new empowerment a couple of years ago… THIS is EXACTLY the process I’m currently in …Getting it Right , in the Right way, by the Right methods of Honesty, building Trust through TALKING and assessing the significant other ..and His values . Sex is the next step, the step taken AFTER the ground work of stability is achieved. Thank goodness I read this, it made me smile in totally absolutely agreement. Thank you for the confirmation . 👌

You nailed it. I’ve said this for a long time. You said it so eloquently. Devaluation of women is so true. I even feel it as a married person.

You are so on point, reasonable and grounded. Self love is the key thing, everything starts from that point, self respect, basic standards and values, and good communication...🥰

You’ve got one if not the only down to earth program these days that is what I would refer to as a good dating advice for both men and women! You are very respectable do not use profanity and show a level of sensitivity towards both genders! This is very of you! Keep up the good work! Thankyou for your program!

I have watched quite a few of your videos, Jonathon, and I've been very grateful for each one! I am very glad that you have taken the time to study all this stuff, read these books, and make these videos! Thank you so much! I was in a marriage for 28 years (had 5 kids), and it was not fun. I wish I could've learned all this stuff before I got married. We were not a good match for each other. Now I'm old enough to be your mother and I wish I had a loving partner in my life, but it's kinda difficult at my age to find a wonderful man to have in my life. Thank you again for teaching us how to find someone who's right for us! Wishing you much success and love in your life.

Oh how absolutely right you are with honest conversations... The way I see it, being able to open up and show your vulnerable side is the only way to gain true trust and respect. And build on it.❤🙏🙏

This is so legit! It's so mature and laced with integrity. Thank you for confirming and validating my feelings about all of this dating game nonsense. Most powerful here for me is how specific you were about what you're looking for in a relationship down to how many days and how much time you want to spend together. I love it!!❤❤

The past few men I've 'tried to date', I've been completely honest with what I want, early on - committed, monogamous relationship, a life partner and kids (I'm late 30s so starting to feel this won't happen). The men have said they want the same thing, so I think okay, great, but then it comes out a month, two months, 3 months down the line that it's not what they actually want. It's like they say that just to get the physical intimacy. And it's crushing for many reasons, causing more baggage and self-esteem issues. I feel like giving up dating because I'm constantly lied to.

I am 73 and started to take care of my self again ! Your advice enlighten me,as I live in Japan the age difference here is more difficult than other countries for women besides being a foreigner,but I started again the gym as a met this man who is just platonic love 💕 Thank you 🙏

I’m not available and honestly, don’t want any type of romantic or sexual relationship right now. I lost myself in a covert narcissist and had no idea what type of person I was dealing with because it’s one thing to read about something and being exposed to it. He destroyed me but I learned a lot about myself and now can detect these people easier

@debbiephilbrick2628

2 жыл бұрын

Me also!!!!

@sarahdoanpeace3623

2 жыл бұрын

Same

This just might be your most important video, Jonathan, and I for one appreciate the topic and [your] straight talk. Trust is critical. I’ve lived a long time and I STILL don’t trust a thing that comes out of a man’s mouth in terms of the “relationship conversation”. I’ve been fed too many lines from the time I began dating. As wonderful as sex is, I am of the opinion that UNLESS and UNTIL one is certain you and your partner on are the same page (is this really possible?) it merely muddies the water and stings like hell when he ghosts and moves on. Key takeaway: Don’t abdicate your power to a partner, lover, friend, anyone.. Many thanks, Jonathan.

@carolmccoy6680

2 жыл бұрын

I agree ☝️.

Jonathon! You are freaking amazing! I am 26 and literally this video is gold and applies to any age. You are so wise. The games have got to stop in society with dating! Honesty and being transparent is so important. Glad I stumbled upon this..

Agree 100%! We gotta have sincerity and be clear always!!

This is the BEST dating advice and confidence boosting advice I’ve seen so far on KZread. THANK YOU JONATHAN !

Radical honesty… tried that in my marriage. It seems he was was soooo insecure that he took everything personally when I was talking about me in relation to “us”. Because what affects me, can affect us. We also drifted apart spiritually. So that kind of sealed the deal. That being said, sometimes people don’t want honest communication. And it’s sad because it’s another level of intimacy. I approach dating the way you describe and guys always, yes always, want the “when can we have sex” time frame delineated. Answer: when I’m damn good and ready. But probably not with you since you can’t get past it enough for me to get to know you.

Thanks so much for your clarity and no nonsense honesty, we need to be real with ourselves and each other 🙏🏼

You have simply stated, what I have inwardly known but was to afraid to say! Thank you friend for helping me walk in truth that I always knew what was best for ME!

I’ve been thinking along these lines for years. You are the first person I’ve seen put this message out there. Thank you for that.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Thank you so much, I totally agree with you. So many people are just not honest, wearing masks, worried about what others think etc. Some aren't even honest with themselves, their living in this fantasy world and intimidated by truly honest up front people. This goes for both sexes. It's a scary world today and you have to be honest with yourself first and definitely be discerning without judgment or criticism and that's difficult, because it's hard to get rid of all your luggage from the past, forgive it and move on in a new way. It's not impossible, but alot of people just don't want to put much deeper thought or effort into it. If possible we should start with a new person slowly, with a clean slate. Alot of people I've run across judge all women or men as the person in their past was, but that's so unfair. Everyone on this planet are unique individuals with unique aspects of themselves that can't be compared to anyone else. I'll stop there, this is your channel after all. I too would like a relationship, but I'm looking for the man that's willing to talk openly and honestly to get to know each other in the first place. Still looking, lol Best of luck to you, love your channel ❤

You've got it so right, Jonathan. Thank you! I'm a psychotherapist saddened by the distress caused these days by fast, empty encounters with improbable partners. Women, because they are often plagued with the time-bomb wish to bear children, don't have time to fool around forever, like men often do. For that reason alone we have to be smart in evaluating the true readiness of men for long-term commitment. Even if a woman doesn't want children, she has to observe and question the man in order to determine his emotional intelligence. Does he have any insight regarding his own behavior? Will he listen and be influenced if the woman wants to address his behavior? Social conditioning too often leads to males who are not taught communication skills, and must learn through a female partner. The man who is willing to do that work, and truly wants to learn through relationship is a rare gem. Until more fathers behave in front of their sons as if they truly respect the mother; and visibly take the time to work through problems with her - and, until education deliberately teaches boys to respect girls, the degradation of females will continue to saturate both the female and male psyches, leading to internalized sexism on the part of females (fear of being alone; don't be too picky; don't scare him away) and obvious degrading of the female by males. Unfortunately quick, easy sex plays into distant rather than close and committed relationship. It should lead somewhere wonderful - but it sure doesn't most of the time.

@Juke582

Жыл бұрын

I think many with obscure stories here are not honest! You tell the truth! I appreciate that and at age 61 I sure experienced the ugly things of dating cesspool of narcissists, Agists, sex predators, etc! Hard to find a normal committed guy! Near impossible these last 15 years! I had 3 guy dates in a row back in CA who all kept their ex’s all in their lives as “little best friends” and one was having sex with one as he spoke to me on phone after being late to plan a comedy show with me! Appalling how they admit this and beg me to be in a triangle! I was sickened! One guy keeps the ex around living in one of his homes just to see her kid from another marriage! OMFG! I was appalled he would date and make someone else a third leg in that setup! 😳 insecure men who can’t move on! 🤮

GREAT video! I'm so glad YT suggested it to me. As a baby boomer who came of age during the women's liberation movement and the sexual revolution, it took me a very long time to understand how my generation went off the rails, so-to-speak, and created so much pain and confusion within intimate relationships, some of which you described very well in this video! I haven't dated in many years primarily because I felt like I didn't have the tools I needed to protect myself emotionally from men who still believe hook-ups are the way to happiness and because men my age are apparently only interested in women at least 10 years their junior! I really like your approach to this subject and the dating vow and I'm going to use it. Thank you!

I love your ideas. Your suggestions make so much sense. Questions I've never thought of before. Practical questions that build character within the relationship.

Love your podcasts Johnathan. I'm back to reading The Hoffman Process. I am realizing some of my old defaults. Thought those were gone. Yes, life is much better when shared with trusty confidant(s). It's rare. It's horrible feeling as though one's value boils down to genitalia or expected sexual or financial performance. Age is like fine wine that may not be discovered had it not been for those years of experience. Harsh convenience oriented realities or agendas can be hidden like little daggers underneath the covers. It cheapens the whole experience. The brutality of the eighties has risen to a new level.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Happy for you

Love your channel You are SO NORMAL and SO GROUNDED! Clearly you are helping to heal on WHATEVER LEVEL. Totally resonate with your energy. Well done, women need to hear this... Sending positive vibes to you from Sunny South Africa..

Jonathan- I so agree with your perspective. Being together with a person, being on the same page with open communication is key. That’s what I hope to find, as I learn how to express my thoughts, needs and wants in a compassionate way as I listen to what another person (man) desires as well. Either we’re on the same page, or we are not- it’s all good! No games. I just want honesty and hope I can find someone who is willing to grow together.

Yes, I absolutely agree that it takes time to build trust with someone and that open communication is vitally important to building a lasting partnership instead of the frequently heard advice given to women to not speak up for fear of being too "forward" with a man. I also agree that a level of intentionality, empowerment, and conciousness is vital to discern if someone actually cares about what is best for you in our crazy "hook up" and "modern" texting culture. Keep up your outstanding messages Jonathon. I wish they were more people like you who truly care about women's well being and hearts for the long run. 💜

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@phalynwilliams4119

2 жыл бұрын

I don’t think that a woman speaking up is a problem in itself but the tone and manner you speak may be a concern especially it you let things fester. Honestly expressing yourself is an important part of allowing both parties the mutual opportunity to get to know the other and perhaps, one’s self.

Just subbed. This is very important. I am not into game playing. Been going out with a man 2.5 months started off making it clear what I wanted and where I drew the line. He wanted similar things. Not friends with benefits, rather being monogamous and exclusive etc. But we are evolving slowly, and creating a close warm relationship that suits our needs, it will keep evolving as our needs change, so we do talk Communicating is key,

I am so thankful for all of this information, Jonathan. I was absolutely clueless but now I'm on the road to educating myself for a healthy relationship! Again thank you so much!!

Another great discussion about relationship development and making it work. Trust and honesty. Thank you so much! Great words of wisdom.

When it comes to self-esteem, you either have it or you don't. There is no such thing as low self-esteem. You're either coming from a mindset of self-loathing or narcissism. Either way, this stems from insecurity.

Some more missing pieces: realistic thinking, self-reflection and self-knowledge. Some questions to ask oneself: Am I fantasizing relationships, other people, and myself? Am I aware that, in a way, I'm a pain to live with? Am I aware that other people are just as difficult to live with as I am? Knowing this, do I have the tolerance and the will to put in an effort and work on reaching common ground, or do I just want to have fun all the time? Do I know how to communicate openly and gently, am I emotionally mature? Is what I want even realistic, and do I know what I want?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing...

@rawr7230

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay what if I told you I was a man.... dolin player? 😆🤣😂

@aprililes8355

2 жыл бұрын

As Esther Perel says( Excellent relationship expert).... we get to know ourselves and learn about ourselves from being in relationships. If I'm waiting for perfection in myself and the other then I'll be waiting forever!! Learn to negotiate with eachother have open honest communication and most importantly be kind and authentic to yourself and your significant other.

@karenwilliams2068

2 жыл бұрын

Great questions ghosting is a form of abuse and shows manipulation I had a.man friend do this..instead of being patient for me to respond. He reacted.but showed no real value to our friendship..I put a healthy boundary up..as I have matured in my 60s . I no longer put up with.i would like to say seeing men's behavior worse then they were in their 30s as not helped me value a majority it seems hard to find a needle in a haystack..with few men I'm even attracted to.

@TheCoffeeCat

2 жыл бұрын

@@karenwilliams2068 I'm 41 and I feel I'm in the same place, it seems impossible to find a literally *mature* man who is not taken.

Thank you, I just met a total stranger and I don’t think we are on the same page. I took notes of all you said today and now I have tools to let him know there would be no intimacy before we have an honest conversation. Thank you so much !

Radical Honesty!! I have always told people I am radically honest! So glad to hear back up for this value!

You're right, dating advice everywhere talk about these mind games. It's good to hear that wanting an honest communication with a potential partner is not a bad thing.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

Jonathan you are so correct in that women need to protect their power. Women are in a position to decide for themselves in every way, and should never second guess their decisions on what is best fir them and what they want. Second guessing breeds low self esteem. We are way better than that! Thanks for your videos. They (and you!) are awesome!

Great video all the way to the very end. Excellent points brought up and truly appreciated this conversation. Tysm💗

I’m so glad I found you!! I’m 57 and just dipping my toe in the middle age dating pool!!! Most helpful

Totally resonating. I did try very hard in my last relationship to be very careful not to jump in too quick. I talked about what I wanted & didn't want. He said similar things. 13 yrs & 2 kids later, I found him out in a 9yr emotional affair, with many others on the sidelines. Complete narcissist. Lied about everything. Talking is no guarantee - people with personality issues can act very well, for many years... However I do like your approach. Enjoying your content! Thank you.

Jonathan you are smart. Love what you are saying and so agree. People jump into relationships too quickly and they wonder why they feel used or neglected. Also, by sleeping around you risk getting STDs, that can be very unpleasant and lifelong.

Agreed. Boundaries, honesty and communication are very important.

Hi! I've been following your videos for a while now. I must say that I truly do love your content and how you make sense of it all. I have had issues listening to others because I refuse to play games. Try to be someone I'm not which in the end will just backfire. It's being dishonest and later on, you will be yourself and wonder why he's not liking you anymore. I appreciate all the points you make and it just makes me more self-assured about the points you are bringing up. So when ever I am ready to date again, I'll have more confidence to just be myself and be mindful. Thank you so much! 💝

New subscriber, I agree with everything you said ; which is rare for me to agree 100% with anyone.🤣 Thank you for sharing so eloquently and relatable.

Last fellow was 40. I'm 45. Brought up exclusivity and he wasn't "ready"? Didn't have "time" for me. Still on dating sites. Well, okay then. No we aren't sleeping together again! 🤣 So next fellow is 49. Okay, so THAT'S what I'm talking about-delightful. Handle things the same way. He was looking to be exclusive as well. That's just how we did things back then, so we do that still. We didn't go "date" more than one person in high school, right?

Thank you for putting this together and giving advice that hands down makes sense and I completely agree with.

I agree with this message...Yes folks need to honestly communicate their wants and needs. Finding out if you're on the same page; before you bed. Having those conversations can led to creating connections, intimacy, and trust: necessary to build up your relationship ‼️💯. I found my person at 65, he's is 73. It is a miracle, we know that and appreciate our Union, blessed by God.

I have felt like I have not ''fitted'' in, so to speak, at all, with any type of relationships in my life until I cared enough and gained knowledge of how to really look at who I am, to KNOW my self, Just as Christ told us to do, and yes, it came with much struggle for years and pain along the way, that caused me to really SUFFER through the learning process and come out at the end of tunnel with true love for MYSELF first. We all have to do got through this at sometime in our life as this is WHY we are having this lifetime experience. I believe, Jonathan, that you are truly out to help all who will listen and really take time to truly LOVE themselves first. I found that even with all the religious experiences I have had, that I wanted to make sense of in what they taught ( Jewish / Christian) I ended up finding that studying and learning taking time to understand my birth chart and what it all truly entails... taught me so much about myself and what makes me tick. ( grant you, all you learn in these charts is NOT perfectly you, but it does give us a real good look at where our mind and heart meet). I have grown personally so much, since my divorce, after 30+ years of marriage and living 20 years alone. NO man or anyone for that matter, will ever take my power from me again. I like my independence, and how I care and love all my family and friends. A man in my life, WILL HAVE to be on the same page. You are doing a lot of good for making women THINK, and I want to thank you for that. Take Care, Blessings

This resonates with me perfectly. It's like he was talking directly to me. At my age (61) sex is STILL a very important part of my life, and I could never imagine my life without it. I'm glad I found someone to share it with. Sending him this video. I'm sure he'd learn things from it, too.

@johannacrowe7680

2 жыл бұрын

Amen sister! Its a beautiful thing to FEEL beautiful because a man appreciates a woman their own age rather than the sexy stereotype of youth vs maturity in the bedroom I'll be 65. ..never felt sexier or more alive!! The amazing part, he views me as sensational. Ironically, other scorned men proclaim ii is on a timer which quits after marriage!! LMAO! Nope! Not this girl!!

@Juke582

Жыл бұрын

Hopefully it’s not just one of those sexual relationships with little else! That fails pretty fast!

@Juke582

Жыл бұрын

@@johannacrowe7680 that never happens!!!! Never seen any guy want to date their own age!!! Up to age 62 they demand younger and the old guys still do same but won’t commit!!! Just arm Candy for them! I live in a big retirement community in FL and see it all. It sucks the way the attitudes are! Single Women here are very obnoxiously embarrassing aggressive jumping on any guy they see alone and it makes those guys hide forever and reject everyone thinking it’s only about money! They might be right as these aggressive women live in villas and hound after men to get into a bigger house here! It’s s money grub world! Us women who have money can’t get any guy in this atmosphere as the guys still only look for younger ladies to get sex from! The women con guys into a expensive dinner just to get out, making them pay, and just dump them afterwards! Sick world trust me!

@dlandrews1

10 ай бұрын

Amen!

Exactly!You got the real point !Its IMPORTANT for people to know that!A lot of trauma could be avoided by doing that!Honesty is of a MAIN importance !🌟

Thank you so much Jonathon - your approach is brave and so strong for throwing out all that bullshit game-playing that has been part of our culture for decades. Your way is the real one.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

TY 🙏

Here's to realizing I give my power away too easily, I have co-dependent tendencies and I respond to narcissistic love-bombing and selfishness... Thank you for saying what we as women need to hear. Your honesty is much appreciated! 😊❤

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!

@Juke582

Жыл бұрын

I know how you can heal yourself of that! There are ways! If you accept this you will never be treated right! I can help!

Best advices I have heard in a long while. Nice to listening to someone mature talking about relationships 😌

Hi Jonathon! Thank you so much for this video, I love your honesty and your wisdom! Will be watching more of your videos for sure and Taking notes 👍!

Thank you for the deeply resonating wisdom and advice ... You are giving us the keys to better understanding about relationships and sexuality

👍🏼Gd mrg. Johnathan. I'm so thankful for ur advice. I'm going to use what you say to get back into the dating world and eventually meet someone to have a real relationship with. At 56 I deserve to be loved, now that I love me. It's been 3 yrs on this journey to healing. Memorial day my father past away. Now I have to take care of my heart right now and stay focused. Hv a grt day.

I feel like putting my hands down in your trot again for you to bring out more of it. Thank you for your wonderful amazing words of encouragement. 👍

I am ending a long time relationship and listening to “relationship experts” I agree many of the younger man coaches focus on what to text, how to please your man, etc. while that is all fine and dandy it’s the icing on the cake that they are talking about and not the meat and potatoes. I appreciate your outlook on dating and what’s important. Tnx, C

You are one the few honest straight forward Coach I have ever listened to . Love others the way you love yourself . What you don’t want done to you don’t do it others for we reap what we sow or your children will reap it . Use women for other men will use your daughter for sex. Use men for money other women will use your son for men . We must live Non selfishly and truly care to love well after all we are all part of each other one human race we breath the same air what affects me affect you what affects affect the rest of the world we are all one going through the same human experience towards death . Let’s care and love one another non selfishly . Genuine love seeks the best interest of the other . I’m a firm believer sex must only happen in marriage the body is a temple and is a such a special gift to be given to only the person you love

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly!!!

Bad relationships age us greatly. Best to be open and honest.

Big believer in right place, right time so I’m glad I found you. Your video resonated deeply with me and let me know my ambivalence about the dating advice of waiting and baiting. Thank you. I’m tuning in for more. Right now the dating pool seemed to be filled with a lot of BS and 💩

❤️❤️❤️❤️ this video just happened to be suggested and now I’m subscribed. Loved your message!!!