FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching

@CaliforniaGirl1

Жыл бұрын

Let me guess.... Redondo Beach? Seal Beach?

@NotPCandnotadelusionalenabler

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate you making this video. I was just curious about this, because I've only experienced toxic relationships and this healthy relationship I'm in now, it's foreign and I'm always questioning everything about this relationship. After hearing everything you had to share. . . Thank you so much for validating this euphoric sensation.

@kimberlywoodson7190

Жыл бұрын

No I Don't Want To Be Used😢

@lynnolsen1498

Жыл бұрын

What is the cost of relationship counseling after free call?

@gretenaaden7613

11 ай бұрын

Thank you! Helping me a lot !! 😊

If you are scared that a difficult conversation is going to ruin a relationship, then he's not the one. Period....

@sharonraina5023

10 ай бұрын

Like your honesty!!

@juanadrianrobaina5763

10 ай бұрын

❤True words spoken .

@ventibreeze6648

9 ай бұрын

So true

@annconforti9294

9 ай бұрын

I quit dating because I'm not ready for a physical relationship and I haven't met a man who respects this.

@lenalingreen7596

9 ай бұрын

It’s also hard on the men that didn’t have a good role model. Some dads abuse their kids. My husband is a very good man, with lots of flaws, but with, love, respect and patience… you can work with any man that wants to be a better person than his father was. ❤❤❤

I once asked a very old woman (97 ), who was still full in life, with no age problems, what was her " secret ". She said, " I don't really know, but I think it's because I've never been married "....😊

@soniagarcia2677

7 ай бұрын

That is totally right ! ❤️ I believe so also.

I keep saying “Men do to you, what you allow them to do.” Women, take your power back.

@sonyasmith1991

Жыл бұрын

Love yourself enough so you know your worth and refuse to put up with BS.

@letmethinkaboutit8982

Жыл бұрын

@@sonyasmith1991 exactly. Very well said.

@NotPCandnotadelusionalenabler

Жыл бұрын

Correction: Boys playing dressup in grown bodies. . .

@carmelcurran7193

Жыл бұрын

Rubbish

@AlisonBSL

10 ай бұрын

So true!

Basically ~ LIFT your standards, morals & value ladies, keep yr knickers on and stop being so desperate that you'll do anything to hang on to anyone just because you want someone. It's sad & emotionally damaging to your soul in the long-run.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@jcszot

Жыл бұрын

Amen sister! 🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

@shelley1071

Жыл бұрын

Yes!! You can't lose what you don't have!! Accept and move on ❤️

@GodsGrace987

Жыл бұрын

Preach!!!

@ethelpuetz3049

Жыл бұрын

I can't find your books anywhere

I decided a few years ago i am tired of being men's conquests. I have been able to spot men's true selves in about 2 months time when i don't sleep with them. Ladies, stop giving it up too soon. If they really like you, they will wait for 6 months so you can get to know eachother. You will save yourself a lot of heartache!

@Jerry-yb7po

8 ай бұрын

6 months? That still makes you an easy hoe....he gets the snatch with not commitment....boyfriend got wife privileges. You are giving wife duties at girlfriend prices..good deal for him....serrano alot of brown people like Puerto Ricans are named that....are you one? If so your thinking on 6 months aligns with the low standards you people have....

Love ❤️ “Wife benefits at girl friend prices”

@angelaferrante7234

Жыл бұрын

Very well said.👍

@carmelcurran7193

Жыл бұрын

Rubbish. Women are not commodities for men. If a man thinks like that then you are best not bothering with him at all. Marraige is a load of patriarchal rubbish as well. Know that!

@sherriflemming3218

Жыл бұрын

Damn truth in that statement.

@tinamccormick4679

10 ай бұрын

This is so true, I love this.

@qazedc3

8 ай бұрын

I felt the lack of equity in my relationship…damn. This sums it up. He stopped taking me out after a certain point in dating stages and we’d just Netflix and cook food 3x a week and somehow still expected us to have sex every time we hung out, and expected for us to talk on the phone every night so he could have a therapist 🙄 I feel so used ☹️ Not only was he taking up all my time and energy, which was the only valuable resource I have, he definitely was not spending enough his money to have the things I was giving to them. Then blamed me for not appreciating him…

Ended my "relationship" with my boyfriend 2 days ago. He was never available on weekends, did the therapy thing with me, was always doing the small talking, and a lot more. All I said was, it is not working for me and I cannot accommodate your unavailability. He has not contacted me since then...do I care? NO.

@cindyhill4864

Жыл бұрын

Good for you for protecting yourself!

@shelley1071

Жыл бұрын

Good for you 💛 Take care of yourself first, always!

@susanparkes5096

Жыл бұрын

I guess he didn't work in hospitality then, because hospitality workers are rarely available at weekends - I know, it absolutely kills dating opportunities 😢

@Dream7773

Жыл бұрын

How long were you both a couple?

@sherriflemming3218

Жыл бұрын

Good for you!

"When fretted by this single life which seems to be my lot, I think of all the many men whose wife I'm glad I'm not" Aunt Ada.

@carolrucker4563

10 ай бұрын

❤

@karenklein953

8 ай бұрын

My mom used to say it's better to be alone than wish you were

@calgal5752

8 ай бұрын

Awesome saying!

Great video. Must watch it for all the details. How women give their power away: 1. The relationship is on HIS terms/his beck and call. 2. You're afraid to say how you feel about your relationship with him. 3. When the relationship ends, you focus on him instead of yourself. 4. Waiting for him to initiate contact. 5. You stop doing your pre-relationship life and focus solely on the relationship. 6. You feel you can't live without him. 7. You think this is the one person you'll feel good about (the only bus in town). How men use women: 1. He pretends he wants a relationship but acts otherwise. 2. He always makes excuses about not spending time with you or blames you. 3. After sex, he says let's take it slow. 4. He avoids sharing personal things about himself. 5. His conversations with you are rather surface. 6. He talks to other women constantly but claims it's just friendly. 7. He breaks up with you constantly and tries to get back together. 8. He's selfish in the bedroom; just cares about his pleasure. 9. He teases you; introduces you to people who are important to him but communications are rare. 10. He's secretive in his life; won't acknowledge that you're in his life (ex. posting pictures). 11. He uses you for money. 12. He uses you as his therapist!!!! (so familiar!) 13. He avoids commitment conversations.

@user-yq3oc9gy3h

9 ай бұрын

Or says something like this for example: let's just go with the flow, were not in a relationship, but likes to sleep with you. Then if you don't do what he wants sexually he threatens to see other people? Playing games & house 🏠 with you! Crazy making!?!!!

@latinaalma1947

8 ай бұрын

Number 12....I am a retired clinical psychology professor so being cast as their therapist (in their mind) happens far too often. I try to avoid the what did you do conversation...I will say Im retired or was faculty but the field always comes up...cant lie...guess I could say IQ testing but that might scare them to death. Hmmm. Maybe learning theory ...any innocuous part of psychology??????But people are drawn to me before they know, women do it too. I need to cultivate a mean bXtch face.

@TLW369

8 ай бұрын

Noted!

@jasmineflower9879

8 ай бұрын

The only bus in town ! Great saying ! Hahahahaha

I met someone on line who wanted to meet shortly after we connected with each other. We had plans to meet for coffee. When I got there he got very close to me & asked "do you feel a spark?" I said, "well no." He said "me either. No sense wasting time," and left!! 😅

@smileyglitter852

Жыл бұрын

Lmao at least he was honest...

@brianaschino4903

Жыл бұрын

U dodged a bullet!!

@wejoin

Жыл бұрын

@@brianaschino4903 haha, I believe you are right!!

@gok655

Жыл бұрын

Did you get a coffee 😂

@jeanannedupratt7075

Жыл бұрын

Very insecure man indeed. Wanted it all without working on it. You are lucky he left.

And I used to feel something was wrong with me 😂 I don't care if people assume I am a lesbian or hate men. The fact is not many good people are available to date and lead to a long term relationship.

Hahah “ do you really want to be with a guy who’s all Fucked up emotionally?😂😂😂

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

😁😁😁

This all was spot on. I recently did an "autopsy" of my current and past relationships and saw how I have really lowered my standards with my current relationship and just accepted it because of our long history and connection. Definitely was getting less than I deserved..so I just broke up with him. Now I'm focusing on me and also my pattern for dating very broken and emotionally unavailable men, and how it goes back to my father and trying to people please him. I'm sad for the breakup, but happy to not continuing to accept so much pain. I know the right guy is waiting for me, when I am ready. ❤

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

So many women were loved right by their fathers, and had to work hard with that so later they did the same within their relationships, im so lucky to have worked in healing my inner child in a program by one of the hest in Sacramento. Years after before my dad died he supported me after my mom died to being reducated..and in that the love he showed was so great another level of healing..

@PainterLady

Жыл бұрын

We must be twins 🤔

@andziagreen4922

Жыл бұрын

I can relate to your story sooo much😔 it's fecking hurting to realise we do it to ourselves

@bridgetbanwell3582

Жыл бұрын

Spot on for me too!

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

I did too had no boundaries in place I had a woman years ago tell me I needed to put them in place period for myself and also for men. It was an aha moment..opened my eyes up..~

Your protectiveness over women is so apparent. Your straight talk is so pertinent to anti-victim mindset. Thanks You Jonathan

As women we are brainwashed into thinking that there is someone out there for everyone and that having a man is wonderful. We haven't met Mr right yet LOL . People don't have to be married anymore and men have always been weak but our mothers and grandmothers had to put up with it. Any man who isn't weak and pathetic has a girl friend or wife and gets snapped up in his teens or 20s and a rare few reform their ways and only mellow out over time.

@vonnytighe517

10 ай бұрын

My sentiments entirely. We all pick up emotional baggage along the way and the older we get the more baggage we are all carrying. Younger attachments seem to be purer and simpler.

@javireyes7333

10 ай бұрын

@@vonnytighe517I share that.

@user-mx7ih7kk9f

8 ай бұрын

You are 💯 speaking facts. The good ones get snagged up early. The indecisive and just use woman like trade in cars with the meh whatever energy seems to be the only ones lurking out there. The older you get the harder it gets. It also depends on the area you live in😢

@iamthatiam1618

8 ай бұрын

💯

@kellegeez

8 ай бұрын

I definitely agree with your comment.

'Loving yourself' and not allowing yourself to be used or disrespected doesn't automatically bring happiness. Sometimes it just brings an honourable loneliness and sadness.

@sarcodonblue2876

Жыл бұрын

It feels lonely but at first but you don't have to be stressing about what the jerk is up too and being upset when he doesn't do what he says he will and let's you down again.

@user-ut4zw6so6o

Жыл бұрын

Disagree. You can have fulfillment and contentment with solitude. It all comes down to a sense of purpose.

@susanparkes5096

Жыл бұрын

Never said you couldn't, just that it's not a given

@susanparkes5096

Жыл бұрын

@@sarcodonblue2876 how long is 'at first'?

@susanparkes5096

Жыл бұрын

@@mmmgyrl1976 7 years, still waiting for it to 'turn up' 🤷‍♀️

So much seems to revolve around male genitalia. I accepted myself as asexual so that has relieved a lot of the anxiety. I find interacting with other’s genitalia and orifices off-putting and can’t continue with that in order to secure a relationship. I’ve tried with both women and men. At 41, I feel great not forcing myself to do unpleasant things that require loads of alcohol on my part and have not had sex for 5 years. I would still love an intelligent and creative companion of any gender.

@talestrimoon1102

8 ай бұрын

Same here

@determinedsj

8 ай бұрын

I third this!

@richerDiLefto

7 ай бұрын

Have you thought about getting a roommate?

I was off the market for 43 years. I’m widowed and I found this video a little late. If I knew 8 months ago what you taught here, I wouldn’t be in a situation that I regret right now.

I will not have sex ever again until I’m married ! I’ve been Celibate over 15 years !

@postnutclarity7382

Жыл бұрын

That's really neat! You go girl!!

@lydiapetra1211

Жыл бұрын

Spot on!!!! Sex is for marriage, that's how it was designed by God!

@iamthatiam1618

8 ай бұрын

Me too.

Universally woman need to keep their knickers on while dating.

Thanks Jonathan. As an older lady, your advice is “right on.” Lol. But I will say, being single causes much less stress. And frankly, at this stage of my life, I’m actually very contented and happy. 🙏

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!

@irismartinez5753

Жыл бұрын

I agree same here

@chrisodebeek787

9 ай бұрын

Indeed!

@deborahgonzalezknight168

9 ай бұрын

Me too. Single is best. So happy.

@lanigirl01

8 ай бұрын

46 tried dating for 2 mo ths and just ran into men only wanted booty call. I figured it out that being single os juat fine. Im content w my circle of family, friends and furbabies.

I have too been used many many times. I’m grateful for the men who make these videos and take the place of the father figure many of us never had…

This. Ppl wonder why I don't settle for a relationship with any man that takes an interest in me. I have raised my children, had a successful career etc. And it's not a hurry to dive back into the place of inadequate relationships, it's been 18 years since I have been in one, and each year brings more contentment to wait for the right fellow. I know what I'm bringing to the table, and its good. Not going to settle for casual use of my love,or my body by another fool that doesn't appreciate what I give until they've betrayed my trust, because after betrayal I have no more interest or desire to be with them. I like what I see in my mirror, don't ever sell yourselves short or you may damage your own self image, and that's truly despair.

Men don't want to hear the truth. I experienced rage and irritation if I spoke what was on my mind. I felt like walking on eggshells, hiding my deep emotions or insecurities because he couldn't take it. As we got to the point to speak about what kind of a relationship we both want ed, we both talked about different things and I felt my needs weren't heard at all. He also ghosted me multiple times, didn't introduce me to anyone (friends, family). It would've be so easy not to let myself trust him in the first place and not to fall in love with him.

@Llilac2481

Жыл бұрын

Because they have fragile egos

@MT-sb2oe

Жыл бұрын

He was a classic narcissist.

@yvonnegomez2599

Жыл бұрын

You sound like your me Rita Wow! I had the same thing happened to me. Whenever I was completely honest to him how I felt not getting my needs met, he would fly off the handle and turn it on me that it was all my fault. Very sad how long I put up with that because I didn't love myself and was looking for love from a man instead of putting myself first. I no longer do that and am not giving my power away to anyone yayyy! I'm not in any intimate relationship for awhile now and am just focusing on loving myself and I'm OK and not feeling lonely anymore 😊

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

Yes this too..some men do not understand their must be reciprocal..communication in a true partnership it goes both ways / radical honesty with kindness..so no one feels closed off to open up verbally from an authentic place ..to share oneself in a naked way..to let the the other person see the person they are at ♥ heart level..

@sherriflemming3218

Жыл бұрын

You were smart not to trust him or give him your heart. This is a trauma bond.

Emotional safety is a huge deal if you don’t feel safe to discuss anything and everything with the guy you aren’t with the right guy.

Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued. Berne Brown 🎉

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@shannonmoore4013

10 ай бұрын

❤️

@basicinfo2022

10 ай бұрын

That is the bare minimum of a connection from a man, it should also be protected, provided for and romantically pursued.

I don't shack up. If he wants me like a wife, he'll have to put a ring on it. If I have to boggle my mind with a man who doesn't meet me in moving forward. He doesn't need to bother coming back.

The problem is men are raised to believe the world is theirs and they can do as they please. Women are raised to accommodate, change their lives around and be silent. Women aren’t stupid. They see everything; but the message they’ve been given is that they are too feminist if they don’t put up with BS.

NO I Don't want to be used anymore, I'm not going to allow men to use me anymore. I'm not giving my power away anymore.❤

Save yourself 38 minutes girls, just Live your Life with your knees together. Sorted!!!!!!

" I don't wanna be used anymore",never again😢😊says Katya from Cuba🇨🇺

Women should start asking men to MARRY THEM. If he says no, move on. He’s not the one.

@JonathonAslay

10 ай бұрын

I agree...

So refreshing to hear this message I’ve been told countless times by men I’ve dated or chatted to online that I expect too much too soon But always try to become intimate too soon

@karenklein953

8 ай бұрын

A guy I dated once was very nice but by the third date he got mad because I didn't want to have sex with him. He actually said I'm not going to keep seeing you just like we're friends my answer was okay and then I never called him again. When he called I didn't answer

@ChloeLayneXO

8 ай бұрын

They have no problem or shame when they ask for what they want but if you ask for anything you are shamed.

I ended a relationship 4.5 years ago. Dated for 6 years, talked about commitment a year in, then all talk stopped when intrusive adult daughter would be extremely disrespectful to me. I began to see the true situation but enjoyed having hom in my life. But I noticed he never stuck up for me and finally he told me his daughter was "my problem " and I had to deal with it. She was the most mean and self centered brat. Out the door I went and never looked back.

@msmanager2775

Жыл бұрын

I had to leave him because of this exactly that was 13 years ago. His life didn’t change wrapped up in his daughter’s and parents demands. He just died of heart attack so suddenly, everyone says that could’ve the best thing that could happen to him. It’s so sad. He made his choice how to Live his life no one could rescue him.

@carolhutchinson7763

Жыл бұрын

I would have asked why the hell should someone else's badly raised child be my problem? It isn't so goodbye. Brats are the problem of their parents, nobody else and I've seen teachers kick them out of classrooms. One substitute teacher hauled off and slapped one who was a constant smart ass hard in his face. He was sitting there with tears coming down his face afterward, an entirely different kid.

@sherriflemming3218

Жыл бұрын

Oh yeah. Family can sure interfere in relationships. Sounds like emotional incest.- enmeshment. Been there done that.

@dsoule4902

Жыл бұрын

I had one of those!!!!! The now-adult daughter is used block to keep him from having to commit Lmao. Fck 'em

@sherriflemming3218

11 ай бұрын

@@dsoule4902 The guy can also use the kids as an excuse to avoid spending time together, dodge committment and not be serious. I will not date any single father's again with school- age or adult children. Learned that through trial and error twice.

Here's the thing, I'm on my own personal growth journey. My husband passed away, and so many guys don't want what I want. I would rather be alone and miserable than with someone who chooses everything on his terms. This is why I'm just learning to make new and good friendships. I am taking companionship on my terms. No ghosting, no sex unless they make me a priority. Several guys tell me what they want, and not willing to listen to what I want. There has to be reciprocation, I gave a couple gifts, and they didn't give me one.

@AG-nn8lp

Жыл бұрын

Who's miserable alone?!? Man I've had peace alone

@gildastigliano8165

Жыл бұрын

sane situation but have low opportunity to meet any men

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

Exactly..if it is not reciprocal it's not a true partnership..which..both participate..I have noticed those same traits..undesirable..

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

@@AG-nn8lp amen

@tessamarie8698

Жыл бұрын

So sorry there’s so many scumbags. I hope you take the path that makes you most healthy and mentally sane. I’m sorry you endured those losers, I can say so far through my 20’s most guys I’ve experienced were like this too. I’d say 77% of men in general this generation are complete garbage.

Yes ! I’m 56 my kids are all grown and I’m a yia yia ( nana) I will never break my own heart over a man again ❤

I would rather be alone and respected than in someone’s company, and look like a pushover. That’s why I have been alone for almost six years. If that’s the way it’s gonna be that’s fine with me. I’m extremely grateful that I enjoy my own company lol because for people that have a hard time being along that’s the trap that leaves you vulnerable to the con man.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

“You don’t know who someone is until you live with them.” Yes! So true.

@JonathonAslay

8 ай бұрын

Exactly

My last ex would go icy cold if I told him I wanted more, or he would ghost me so it programmed me not to ask him, of course that is what he wanted and at end I resented him so much for that. I will never do that again.

OMG, my ex boyfriend broke up with me three times! I was dealing with an "emotionally constipated child"! I only have myself to blame for taking him back. Thank you for this video!

I have stopped being used !!! Thank you Jonathan you have started huge changes in my dating experience !

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Fantastic!

Staying single has been the best thing. No drama, life is good.

I am with you!!! I am done being used by these men!!!!

I definitely agree on the texting stuff - most days I wanna toss my phone in the river. Texting is convenient for, "Hey, can you grab a gallon of milk on your way home, maybe a pint of Ben & Jerry's too." 😄 p.s. - great shirt Jonathan 🤩

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!!

@wejoin

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@warriormanmaxx8991

Жыл бұрын

@Laurie Simonds - re: "Ben & Jerry's" = the ... Ultimate, Overpriced, WOKE Ice Cream using UN-Funny Names !!

@sherriflemming3218

11 ай бұрын

It's Impossible To Have A Texting Relationship ---Natalie Clarice ♥️

@lauriesimonds9229

11 ай бұрын

@@warriormanmaxx8991 you're right. I grew up there and miss the days back in the 80's when it was just great homemade ice cream 😕

Thank You ❤ !!! Wish I would have heard this sooner in life. I will be alone to my dieing breath before I ever again "beg" for someone to "understand" my needs and feelings !!!!!!!!!!!

While I'm looking for a real relationship, I have no desire to get married again.

My last relationship was stressful. He was so moody that I felt like I was walking on egg shells. Of course I broke it off. Now, my number one rule if I ever do this again, is: I would have to really enjoy being in his company. (we would have really good communication). Of course, things happen, so it cannot always be that way, but the majority of the time, yes.

I'd swear you knew everything going on with me and my relationship. I actually laughed several times because you hit home and showed me how ridiculous Ive been. Ive done everything you pointed out. I'm wising up!! Tired of giving my power away and having NO BOUNDARIES! GEESH!!

So grateful for this advice. I was so paranoid because I have never been in a serious relationship before. After watching your video, I can confirm that my partner wants a serious relationship and is not using me. Thank you 🌸

@JonathonAslay

10 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

Excellent podcast Jonathan. You're so right about what you say. I will not allow men to use me for anything. I send your podcasts to men. They frequently cannot handle the truth and feel inadequate. Also calling them out on bad behavior and boundary setting causes deflection blameshifting and gaslighting. Life is too short for bs and gameplaying. You're right about about men saying what they need to get laid. Lovebombing and future faking I think there's a large population of avoidant attachment men that want casual situations hips. The keepers are rare. Agree with having the self love and self respect to cut them off say you're done and walk away. The texting and expectation of therapy is crazymaking!

Really glad to have found you Johnathan. I’ve recently entered this crazy dysfunctional world of “modern dating” educating myself on everything I can to not be used again. My recent experience has really been a lesson learned for me and has made me tap into my own insecurities, my attachment style and focus on bettering myself. To love myself and see my worth. To also realize the power I actually have. All my life I have given emotionally unavailable men my power. Even in my 23 yr marriage. Still trying to detach myself from my recent 4mth experience. Your videos are a huge reinforcement for me. I’m scared, but staying strong through my faith.

@theresaconley3455

6 ай бұрын

❤

Many men will try to tell you what they think you want to hear

The whole thing is really basic when it comes down to it. Women need to look at the dating process like a tennis game mixed with an astute power of observation. The man makes a move, she likes it so she matches it. If he makes a move she doesn't like, she can either let him go or give him an opportunity to do better -- depending on her values. It's as simple as that. She doesn't ever over-invest because he's making all the moves first and she either matches him or not; and she's observing everything he does and says. She takes her time getting to know this human being and eventually she is able to accurately determine if he's a person of integrity who has earned her trust. And, of course, she doesn't ever become intimate with anyone until she's done with that getting-to-know-him process. This strategy keeps us women safe and sane, and quickly exposes the users who won't be able to keep up their act long term without cracks appearing along the way. 👌💯💥

@CurlyToedShoes

8 ай бұрын

So so true!

Got someone that I've known off and on and I finally realized that I have been used physically and emotionally and he just wants to come back. However, I tried desperately to talk about the importance of communication is very important rather than to been taken advantage of. So I've given him the truth about his immature behavior that I've been tired of being taken for granted about my feelings that I told him that I nolonger want to be involved in this immature relationship and he never responded back. I'm done 😢

Here is the deal. Most men look at women as what they can get from them. It could be sex, money, female energy, wh a tever. Then because he can attain what he wants from you, he treats you badly. He will always want what he can't have. Men have egos because of society, religion and what culture has told him. Women are not told the same, so she feels like she has to work harder for everything. If she is smart, she will realize that she alone is responsible for her happiness, and not believe the lie that she is nothing without a man. She is more valuable than she can possibly imagine and no one will let her know her worth.

@lemostjoyousrenegade

11 ай бұрын

VERY well said, Love!

@javireyes7333

9 ай бұрын

True Absolutely true

This resonates with me Jonathan! Thank you for giving it to us straight! You are a wonderful “big brother”! I am tired of being used and he not accepting any responsibility for his actions and then trying to turn it around on me. I rather be alone then with the wrong person! I’m happy with me and my life and can be patient. I have a great family support. Bless you Jonathan! ❤

You crack me up. My daughter joined one of the local groups from when she was in high school? One guy talk to her about meeting up. Hanging out. He lived down the way from us as a kid. So she said sure. They never dated. They were just neighborhood friends. She gets there and he's trying to walk hand in hand. She suggested they walk outside. Then they sit on a bench he wants to put his arm around her shoulder. She felt creeped out. She cut it short. She asked me.. wth was that?? We never dated or anything. I told her people don't have basic social skills forget first meeting skills.

Emotionally constipated child! Jonathon 😂😂😂 you nailed it and this whole video is spot on!

You came up in my feed, so I watched. Took me years to realize everything you’ve tried to get across. Sometimes women hear it and still can’t seem to implement it. Thanks for your sincere efforts in rehabbing women. I’m doing very well.❤

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you!

Yep had all of this happen the last 6 years from dating having sex before coommitment felt used like shit they picked the other girl. I took myself out i'm celibate and have no time for this nonsense from them anymore. Haven't even chatted more than hi then they go right to sex and i block now. I've had enough. Thank you jonathan for recognizing this!

@cyndigooch1162

Жыл бұрын

Stef5779 I'm thinking that many women would be extremely rich if they charged the men who do what you mentioned, but most of them would probably change their minds, if that was the case! 😊

@Kendrach

Жыл бұрын

I'm with you. Right on the money.

@sherriflemming3218

11 ай бұрын

1- 900 What's Your Fantasy Today?

Sneaky sneaky love it we need to date with open eyes, open heart, open ears and close legs 😅. I hate the sneaky ways guys try to make us therapist, i just tell them i feel so sorry i trust you will solve your problems.... would love to talk when you feel better and i leave. Love it. Love it. Reality check all the time.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@karenwilliams2068

Жыл бұрын

I agree I never answered the question as I'm not his therapist..and refused to do that..silence is golden..he can pay for one and get his answers

Thank you! I needed this! Just got out of a 2-year relationship with a man who couldn’t commit!!

I really appreciate you for doing this. My father passed away and I remember asking him, what did he think about my boyfriend, and he always would tell me: It’s your choice, you are a grown woman. Now I am realizing that pretty much everything that you say it is happening to me. As you can imagine, we are not in good terms right now and I have asked for a divorce. I really wish I had stopped it long ago, because honestly it is very hard to leave a long time relationship even if it wasn’t a quality one. Thanks to KZread and you, I came across your gentleman honesty and truthful hurt. Thanks for waking me up.

I will never allow a man to use me again 🙏🙏🙏 thank you so much for this video

I'm there right now. I will not be used by him anymore.

WOW....this is excellent....girls in highschool, women of all ages should listen to this....don't trample your values ladies....stop being used by men...... what an excellent video!!!!

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening

When I wouldn't let him drive my car - because he needed to do a work task - he blew up. That's when I knew. I said go get yourself a better car or use your bosses minivan, he had a complete meltdown.

@lemostjoyousrenegade

11 ай бұрын

There are definitely guys who use women for their cars (and for their professional titles/status and for free psychological counseling and/or coddling). They''ll also borrow their fwb's car so they can drive other women (to whom they're attracted) around in them. So pitiful.

Relationships are the only aspect of our lives where we have ONE position available, we have no "practical" idea of the non-negotiable qualifications, we've put in minimal to no effort vetting true potentials, and yet expect the first person who tells us we're pretty or smart to be our soul mate and perfect fit for that position. SMH It's weird to me. Society has effectively gaslighted women into believing that by engaging in a process of "vetting" potentials over time that, that is tantamount to prostitution. SO women give away their bodies and power without ANY investment from potentials because we inherently value being "good" in the eyes of others. When people tell me I'm being unrealistic and that my worst nightmare will come true I say SO BE IT (that image of a skeletal woman sitting on a park bench alone with the caption: waiting for the perfect man). I believe there are at least hundreds of good men with whom I "may" be compatible with and I'm not settling for the first guy to come along because I'm unwilling to say NO THANK YOU....NEXT while vetting thousands. My numbers are exaggerated to make a point. I'm not looking for perfection. I'm dodging trauma bullets. I only need ONE [more] after the previous failed attempts 😆 and NOT ONE of them were psychotic. Just not able to overcome critical obstacles as a couple. I have had one "user" but hey nobody bats 1000. I refuse to be fear mongered into settling. NOPE I think people settle because deep down they either don't believe good people exist OR they don't believe they are worthy.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Just shared your message on my video today... thank you so much.

@emiolaomotayo7497

Жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay Very Cool ! Please let me know which video so I can watch? Hopefully you don't use me as an example of everything I'm doing wrong in my approach 😂😂

@lemostjoyousrenegade

11 ай бұрын

@@emiolaomotayo7497 I detected no wrong-doing on your part. I detected NO LIES in what you stated about today's society. I'd say that Jonathan most likely immediately recognized the value (and beauty) of the truth you laid out so well. You could very likely have a KZread channel as successful as his (perhaps more so) if you enjoy encouraging, empowering/uplifting, teaching others. If you feel called (inspired), DO answer! So many ladies could/would benefit from your wisdom/wise words. As I read your comment, one of my favorite quotes came to mind: "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." J. Krishnamurti Much Love to you, Emi! XOX!

@nadiaoak5123

11 ай бұрын

I agree with you 💯

I allowed a guy to use me for years as an emotional dumpster or just listen to him. I always thought it might go somewhere, but years later it never did. I stopped answering his calls with no explanation. I do believe he was also a narcissist too. Very much a taker! He never mentioned any of the girls he was seeing which is manipulation as well.

@Kat-lq8sp

Жыл бұрын

Similar situation.

You totally nailed it. I've been through this and had no idea at the time what was going on it's so good to hear someone articulate the scenarios so well. I now feel more equipped to avoid ending up in the same situation again.

Thank you Jonathan,appreciate your love and support.This message is spot on ❤

That was fantastic. Thanks so much for the straight talk. It’s so refreshing. Just fresh on the dating scene so it’s just what I needed to hear. Thanks for looking out for us!

I fully agree and support what you're saying Jonathon. Thanks as always for your wise and helpful advice.

Yes this what i needed to hear over and over. Thank you Joanathon

Been divorced 11 years now and dated on and off and I have seen it all! Total different perspective at this point in my life and it all resonates with me!

Good rant Jonathan! We need the honest truth. I hate when people try to sugarcoat so they don’t step on anyone’s toes. Love your style of teaching/coaching. I bought several of your books. Thank you.

Jonathon. You're all that!!! 😊 You've just confirmed what I had been doing for the last six years on and off!!! It's finally hit home knowing he will never change. I feel so free and spiritually lifted. I appreciate you and your expertise on relationships. Thank you so much!!! ❤️

I really love this video, Jonathan! And I really love your emotional rants because you care! You are so right in all you're saying. People who are seeking a long term-relationship need to be forthright about what they want when starting a dating relationship. I agree with you 💯%😊

Great to see you having your rant live! Thank you for being a big brother! Love your honesty

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate that

Great content!! ❤️ It's always good to reboot with these reminders! Thanks bunches Jonathan 💫

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you so much for this healthy father talk. I think a lot of us did not have good or present fathers and thats part of the issue.

Thank you sooo much for this wake up call 🙏🏻! I really needed to hear this & getting to understand the “translation” put into feminine words, as no one ever explained me this ! Thank you 🙏🏻

I needed to hear this years ago. But due to some recent events I really needed to hear these exact things you discussed. Thx

Thank you for pointing these behaviours out for what they are!

Not a rant ,,,just the cold hard truth much appreciated

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

I think so too...

Heck yeah shout it out! Thanks Jonathan! Good sinking in info!!

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

You bet!

I really appreciate your work Jonathon - this video was another outstanding one. I know if I listen and truly take your advice (and rants) to heart, it will make a huge difference in my life. ⭐️

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate that!

Thank you Jonathan. ❤ Speaking to us like someone who cares. We NEED to keep our power.. and NOT be afraid to speak up. Grazie

Awesome. Ive needed to hear all this my whole life! I always believed it was me being "too demanding" so hated myself for it but hey, I got to 60 years old and it was the last one that made me feel so disgusting that I walked away from him and ive spent the last two years "home alone." In hiding. Needless to say I never got any of this education as a kid. Thank you so much as I can now draw a line under my past. Thank you so much.

2007 he was told he had a colon mass and did nothing. 2009 he met and dated me for four weeks then we married. Six months later he asked my a vague question about “not having a long time together” vs. never being married. I was so inexplicably happy for the first time in my 51 years of life that I told him I’d rather have six months of “Happy” than to have lived without ever knowing this beautiful, loving and blessed utopia. His health began to deteriorate in 2018 and I was told of his 2007 diagnosis. Being a retired PA, I did everything in my power to persuade him to seek care. He maintained his determination to avoid the agony of cancer treatment as his father had died @ 65 after four years of fighting the same condition. We had committed ourselves to clean diet and healthy living long before we ever met so this was consistent throughout our 12 years together. His health deteriorated at an increased pace from 12/2020 until his death 10/2021. We were intensely bonded as we had 12 years of constant, uninterrupted companionship; We had retired early and relocated to build our homestead in an isolated area. Retrospectively I’d say that I wish I would’ve known his level of pain and heartache which he chose not to share during our time together. He wrote a letter conveying his deepest emotions and concerns for me (which letter I found a few days before his passing.) I asked him to read me the letter as I videoed his reading. We had a few days time of processing his heart-longing and shared tears together. Ours was a beautiful love story that will hold my heart captive until I’m again with him in the next world. I would’ve wanted to know of his diagnosis and his suspected shortened lifespan before I made the decision to sell my home and relocate to an isolated place and invested in building a homestead which,( although being everything I could ever need or ask for,) is now suffering neglect as I’m unable to sufficiently care for the maintenance. I have no attachment to the local backwoods society and am far removed from a community of familiarity. I believe, that if one has sufficient reason to believe he is to die at 62 years old, it becomes incumbent upon that person to share this matter prior to making lifestyle changes on behalf of another person who also has the God-given right of free-will choice to direct their own life. Don’t wait until three days before passing to say, “I always knew I would die at 62.” Moving forward, I’d like to invest what I’ve learned of emotional bonding, radical honesty, pure commitment and spiritual camaraderie. Finding someone like-minded….that’s a whole other story!

I agree with what you're saying, you are so right! The problem is we want relationships to be easy and it's not easy to stand up for yourself and learn self respect. I hope it will be worth the effort!

Jonathan, thank you so much for what you do! I don't mind you're ranting I know that it's only because you have such compassion for women and for love and it's just so refreshing. I have dated every type of guy that you described in this LOL it all resonates. And I am definitely in a better place for seeing things for what they are💛🧡💚☘

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

I appreciate that!

❤ good video. Many women can benefit from this. Just a quick note: sometimes your man is not always the best person to express EVERYTHING to. Keep your friends, family, and space. If the man doesn’t respect your privacy, family, or personal life. Consider it a warning. Having a supportive partner is the key. Supporting him as well. It’s a two way street.

Yes ladies Jonathan is real talk. No, I'm not going to be used anymore. I will not allow men to take advantage of me . I have learned so much and still learning.

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Awe... thanks ☺️

My favorites are I wanna start as cuddle buddies lmao ummmm negative ghost rider 😂

Thank you for opening my eyes to men's sneaky ways. I don't want to be used anymore, you are very much appreciared and to me you are somewhat of a hero to women. I have been experiencing this type of using behavior by men/boys since ( maybe kindergarten!) In some way or another. It seems to me that this also goes on in female/male friendships also. Glad your here to help us😍

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Glad to help

This is the best advice I’ve ever heard. I wished I’d heard it a long time ago !!! Thank you 🙏🏼

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

You have absolutely nailed it! I see strong, beautiful, intelligent women giving it away all the time!

Be aware of the guys that struggle with lonlyness, depression and social anxiety. They need reparenting and a therapist! Better care for the little girl in you and not the broken boy in them!