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@chrissymalos3501

7 ай бұрын

I agree with Jonathon. Best sex between two people is better when they are both physically close.

@rachelgarza9345

5 ай бұрын

All I have to say is WOW!!!! You are amazing with this information,although I believe if we dig and search within ourselves we really know what we need to do. In my case I’m a patterned person….definitely not good!!! I’m not sure why I continue this behavior… Help!!!

@gailfroelich9633

6 күн бұрын

@@JonathonAslay Avery special man……full of love and caring . ❤️🙏thank you

I thought we were progressing nicely until I got sick. He knew I was flat on my back, sick as a dog, and running a temp for four days. He knows I live alone but he did nothing. He did not ask if I needed him to run an errand, did not drop off chicken soup, and did not even offer a few words of sympathy. I told him we were done because I cannot accept that complete lack of consideration from a partner. He explained that he stayed away because he didn't want to get sick himself. That was just too lame an excuse. All I needed was a little reasonable TLC not a blood transfusion.

@shelleywelke9551

7 ай бұрын

You made the right decision! 👏👏👏

@sorangelmargulies8618

7 ай бұрын

He could of left maybe soup for yoU, or some tea & a few healthy items like Elderberry extract, tea & soup! W0hen my exes dad had Covid and thought he was dying I sent 2 different teas & soup packages all he had to do was add water! So sorry that he didn't step up! No excuse he could of avoided close contact with you, & still be considerate of how sick yoU were! Maybe some will disagree? But I believe he could of done something to make you feel he still has respect, & cared for knowing how sick you were! Hopefully you don't have kids they watch & learn from our examples as adults! I hope that you're recovering & feel alot better! Sending wishes for you to not only get better but for you to find a wonderful caring partner! ❤

@truemorris6695

7 ай бұрын

I recently learned narcissistists dont like sick people

@zenmaiden1

7 ай бұрын

Amen sista good decision he didn’t show up for you in time of need … next !! 🎉

@staywellandstrong4199

7 ай бұрын

How serious were you two at the beginning of this relationship? Hadn't you been taking care of yourself until then? So what was defined before you were sick?

1- refuses to define the relationship 2- you don't come first, instead their problems (work, ex, children, friends, etc) take precedence 3- barely interested in your life/not a teammate 4- their friends or family don't know about you 5- sporadic communication/marginal perspective 6- avoids sharing how they feel about you as a person 7- refuses to talk about future

@kristinej.4182

7 ай бұрын

Thank you for the list. Very helpful.

@fionadale1011

5 ай бұрын

I would not be interested in a man that doesn't put his kids first. My kid comes first, before any man and a decent father does the same

@kristinej.4182

5 ай бұрын

@@fionadale1011 Well said. I completely agree with you. While it might be nice at first if the man gave us most of the attention, it's definitely a red flag if he doesn't know how to put his kids first. My kid comes first too before anyone so I'm with you on this 100%!

@reginasimon8784

16 күн бұрын

Thank you. This is such a help. 😊

As a woman, in my experience, the best way to make sure that you aren’t dating a guy that isn’t serious about you is don’t go to bed with him. Just make sure you don’t go anywhere that you can lay down such as a couch or a bedroom. men went to lease analogy is bang on, but make sure they have established plenty of time. A.k.a. hefty down payment. I think most of our LOVELIFE dramas come from the full problem that we go to bed too quickly quickly with strangers and people that we have not truly gotten to know their character or intention

@maristella287

7 ай бұрын

YES. No sex! Someone else can provide THAT.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Exactly

@Pinkcandy777

7 ай бұрын

Waiting till marriage

@Pinkcandy777

7 ай бұрын

Amen ❤️

@hgfw9295

7 ай бұрын

I don't agree 100%. Yes true don't go on a first or second date just so you kniw you dont deal woth some serial killer. However though he might be not sleeping with you for long yet be sleeping with his fwb and in the end also concuer you after them 90 days or so and treat both of you as his fwb on a rotation. True is if the guy has values and only wants a monogamy he will sleep on the first date and still commit.

Sometimes we being alone is better then then trying to hard.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Indeed

So here is the red flag: when your conversations revolve around “working on the relationship” and it’s always you adapting and changing, never him, RUN!!!

@natalieweems5455

26 күн бұрын

So sad... lip service

If he's not coming to see you, he's not even making an effort.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Exactly

Men can compartmentalize, women can't.

@sherriflemming3218

7 ай бұрын

Both genders can compartementalize.

I had a boyfriend for two years he was selfish selfish selfish. Only cared about his needs , not a good person at all. I finally dropped him. And I don't miss him at all. 😂😊

@silviadambrosio7234

2 ай бұрын

There are many narcissists out there,be careful.

Absolutely true on all. LMAO when he said ”Men are hunting for vagina.” 😂 WORD.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Exactly

I love that you keep calling out the players! It seriously helps women to not be confused by them! Thank you!!!

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

I'm so glad!

You really give great advice. I am a widow. Ive been alone for 2 years. I am not looking for anyone. I dont think there is anyone out there.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

I understand how you feel...

I'm a 77 year old woman. My male friend is 55. I'm just not into him. He definitely is all about himself. I really enjoy being alone. You nailed my situation. Thank you.

My biggest beef is selfishness! Everyone I run across wants Lisa the Robot, not Lisa the beautiful woman with a brain. I hate the lying, too. They often claim to be interested in a long-term relationship or even marriage. Yeah,, as soon as they've bedded you, they quit. In fact, I notice little effort compared to guys say 25 years ago. Everyone wants it my way or the highway and should just get a pet! Emotionally immature and entitled people of both genders. They don't love themselves or care about being growers and mature. I hate the games and BS. I believe in growing up, and compromise! I feel like a dinosaur and I'm losing hope.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Yes, and Rob, the robot, too...

My ex husband would not get out of bed to drive me to the doctor when I had covid. That really hurt.

@Kpleaides

7 ай бұрын

That is horrific

@sherriflemming3218

7 ай бұрын

Committment and true love is all in. I will take care of you. Terrible how little these men care.

@lesliestewart6239

7 ай бұрын

WOW. That's horrible

@Teewriter

18 күн бұрын

People were scared shitless by the horrible liars in the CDC, NIH. If you got covid you would die.

I think we as women many times get scared about losing a partner. we end up accepting their bad behavior and staying with them anyway because we figure it’s better than being alone. We all need to make a stand and protect our hearts and our time.

@JonathonAslay

6 ай бұрын

Indeed

Is it a sign when he says “ let’s take it easy “

@Gigi-wc3kl

7 ай бұрын

Yea it is and it’s not good. He’s using you.

@CCrockergirl

7 ай бұрын

@@Gigi-wc3kl but he hasn’t gotten anything from me lol

@Gigi-wc3kl

7 ай бұрын

He will be exiting soon

@CCrockergirl

7 ай бұрын

@@Gigi-wc3kl exiting what? He’s in another state lol

@marilynlarson9781

7 ай бұрын

I believe that’s the excuse they use to keep you around while they are swiping on other women!

So I’m on millionaire match. Had what seemed to be a nice guy like me. We chatted a little then he stated we are not a match because we have too many different answers to these silly questions the site asks. Ok, best of luck to you 3 weeks later he pops back up with a message ‘so have you found the love of your life’. I responded I’m not looking for the love of my life just a man who won’t waste my time. He responds you’re bitter. Good bye. I blocked him Men are CLUELESS. They are not just ‘winging it’, they are wingless. It seems they expect you to drop everything you’re doing ti answer them. The exchange goes on for a few days then crickets Not this woman! If he can’t wait for an agreed upon appropriate time to speak live, BLOCK! You can think what you want, I do not want these spenders drifting in and out of my chat box.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

As a man, I've experienced the same from women. It's a human thing... 🙏

Sarah, Trust your gut. You know the answer.

I don't feel used 1 bit, but there is no sex, a huge advantage. He has never been married & I don't ever want to get married again, so this works for us! We enjoy each other's company. Neither of us has any children & we are a team.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

I understand

I’ve never wasted any man’s time because a man I was in a relationship for nearly 3 years in my 20s was wasting my time. After Ken, I decided not to be like him, and after 2 dates with others, I use to make a determination if they would get along and end it. Since my mid 40s I’ve given up, but not all women waste any man’s time.

Have to do " abundance dating", rather than settle for abusive "situationship" which is what I've been getting in the last 2 years since breakup with my longterm relationship. At least this way I can just say men are like trains, another one coming in 15 minutes! Next!

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Yes

So true that dating was always 3 year breaking down process. They don't teach relational skills in school. It's sad. It would have saved a ton of grief and pain.

I appreciate you. Been with a man for 5 years and he refuses to move in, still live separate and no ring in which he knows I want. He acts like my husband always with me then leaves to go to his house every night. I bring up our future and he gets upset.

@SharonElizabethWhitfield

4 күн бұрын

He might not want to move into your house. Because to him it would give you the upper hand. It would make him look weak. It would make him look like he could not take care of himself. He may feel that he is not financially capable of being a good husband. On the other hand, he just might be a jerk that is using you.

Jonathon I was jumping in my chair when you told this woman in the hot seat the truth. So spot on. We got to love ourselves enough to not accept the BS and move on. Hopefully when she reads the comments she get more clarity. Life is too short. ❤

Move on and be free! You’ll make yourself happy!🙏❤️🤗💪

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Exactly

Sometimes it's not about accepting crumbs but one people get attached they get addicted to the "chemicals" and all addictions are hard to crack.

@natalieweems5455

26 күн бұрын

I hate that I see the crumbs... it that sometimes it feels like toilet paper stuck on their shoe...

I encourage my daughter to watch & learn from positive teachings on you tube. The more aware girls & women are, the healthier their relationships are becoming..self love means knowing what makes you happy & not settling for less or accepting poor treatment

I have been single for 22 years now, the last ten by choice. We get too involved too fast and men take advantage. If more of us dragged our feet this wouldn't be happening

The car metaphor great example. I use it a lot when I talk about relationships how most men trade in their women for a younger, or newer model.

@tresjolieme81

7 ай бұрын

Sometimes a younger looking woman will win and she could be older

This meant that as long as I stayed mute on relationship issues, all was well, but he would never ever raise any doubts or complaints because as long as I’m in the groove, what’s not to like? This means that whatever issues I raised were mine alone, and he took to responsibility in working together.

@007stinkey

7 ай бұрын

I was in a similar situation about a yr ago. I ignored it at 1st but and it took a few months. But it was like you sit over there and as long as you be good. We can have a good time. That is what I felt like he was saying in his mind. I could tell

When my children were young, I told them.......when you meet someone and you think you love them, make sure you LIKE them. Loving someone is easy......but if you don't LIKE someone......it won't stand the test of time.

@JonathonAslay

6 ай бұрын

Exactly

You’re so right! When a man is not serious he’s all that you explained! Thank you!!❤️

I keep missing your lives! Just watched & I can relate to Sarah's situation. Was doing all the driving to see him. 45 mins away. It's really unfortunate. I don't deserve bread crumbs. I wish I would have left a long time ago. I have to start loving myself. I deserve someone way better than that. Thank you Jonathon!

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

I understand

Sarah, you seem like a beautiful person, don't settle anymore!

I really like this video. It really is an eye opener. In this day and age it is very hard to be single. It is very hard to meet good people. I stay home a lot.

But then when I observed the subtleties of my marriage to husband No.2, I realized that as long as we were ticking along without tweaking, or any conversations about issues, all good. But I was always the one with issues in the relationship, always requesting discussions, but he never ever voiced any concern.

Wish I had found you years ago. Thank you for opening my eyes and giving me better insight into understanding men's view of relationships

A rich independent woman does not need a man. And, compromise usually means sacrificing oneself doing what the man wants. Cell phones and the internet, make it easy for folk to compartmentalize their lives, and that goes for men as well as women.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Yes

Hi Jonathan! I just want to thank you for a video I watched a couple days ago. It was about men that are broken. I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a broken man. I was thinking he would wake up and realize what he had in me. You definitely opened my eyes to what the problem was. I just wish I would have seen the signs and realized this sooner. I guess I was one on the way from here to the moon.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

Thank you once again Jonathon ❤

Thank you so much for this ❤

Hi! I am new to your channel and I'm finding it very informative and interesting! This particular video hit very close to home. I just let go of a 'spender' after one year. Never met any of his friends, or his family. He always had lots of priorities and I felt like I was never one of them. I made a lot of excuses for him over the year, but I finally realized that it's better to be alone than to be in a relationship that makes you feel like you're not enough. So thank you for validating my decision ❤️

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Thanks for subbing!

This is the video I needed!!! Thank you for preaching to us!!!❤

Keep up the honest truth in Coaching ❤

Sarah you deserve better. Even though you have the answer,it feels so much better when you hear it from us. It’s called support and reaffirmation. Your Jonathon your penance is a joy 😂

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@anaaviles6552

7 ай бұрын

@@JonathonAslay you’re welcome! ✨

Thank you, Jonathan❤

I think women respond to love bombing when a man says they’re the best, the smartest, the most beautiful, etc. because they think that such positive input means they want a relationship. WRONG!! They can tell you over and over again how unusual and special you are, but THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

Yes, you crack me up too. Sorry I turned it in late. Had oral surgery. I did give a little donation. Thank you for all you do and I'm sorry to hear about your son. I had to send it also passed away of SIDS. God bless you.

You are Very Wise, Jonathan❣️

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

🙏

I agree Jonathon. I even had that conversation with someone that "I like you" and explained to him that to me it's more important than love. He looked as if he had no idea what that meant.

Great session Jonathon and everyone involved. Really found it informative thanks 😊

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it

Moving on is good...Especially if he is just using you

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Yes

Yes u r right! Its a tough world no one wants to put in effort at all.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Indeed

Thank you so much Jonathan. This was one of the best videos I've seen! All of your videos are helpful, but THIS one was especially! ❤

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

You're very welcome!

Yes! Waisting time! I love you’re teaching and caring! You’re wonderful!❤️

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!

If you love yourself you don’t need crumbs! You are happy in yourself! Go dating instead and have fun. 🤗

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Absolutely!!

This resonates. THANK you for your wise words of wisdom. I'm learning so much.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

So glad!

Thank thank you for sharing your wonderful information.

@JonathonAslay

5 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

Much love for what you do❤️🙏

hey !! i'm in argentina too! it's been a roller coaster looking for a well-meaning man.. i feel for you jill

Great video!!! Great information!!! Thank you! 😊

@JonathonAslay

5 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

This is what I do. I tell men that I am not looking for marriage or involvement, and ask him if he can be friends without benefits. I see different men and they see other women if he wants sex. This gives me time to really get to know them. If one of these men wants to offer a real relationship, and prove it , then i will stop seeing the other men, and wait until marriage to have sex. Ladies, these men need to see you socializing.

What an amazing song and video! Well done.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Song?

Great video! Thanks Jonathan for sharing your message with us; you definitely do it from your ❤. I’m learning so much 🙏

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

I appreciate that!

Jonathan i know you remember the saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. It is better to get to know someone for a long time and in different situations without sex.😊

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Yes I do...

Left in tears because ihave to face the facts. At our ages, I thought we had something very special.

Hi Jonathon, thanks for the work, your guidance is fantastic and helps so much. Good luck with your search for a harmonious, committed relationship, may you be blessed with happiness, love, and all the sweet things that come with doing this precious work, for yourself and in service to humanity as a whole. Remember that you are Eternally Loved, you always have been, and that this Divine source is in finite. Blessed Be.

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Awesome, thank you!

Thanks for the right words.. Always felt like that in our relationship but couldn't fathom the clear status of it. Although it ws tremendously difficult to separate myself from the person I love madly..love is still there but without any obligation..any expectations..I m healing 😊😊

Congratulations Maribeth🎉

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Indeed

OOOOUCH! I really needed to hear this today, especially about the breadcrumbing. 😭😭😭

Absolutely Jonathan 👍🏻👍🏻💯

It's very helpful

Amen Jonathon keeps calling out the users and spenders. I'm worth more than crumbs or men that waste my valuable time. Full committment and aligned or I'm out. The 10 Commandments Of A Secure Functioning Relationship. 👍👍👍

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Will do

@sherriflemming3218

7 ай бұрын

We love you big brother! ❤️

@LaoSoftware

7 ай бұрын

I find that older people who are divorced aren't interested in relationships. They're done. They're exhausted. They want to be left alone.

@sherriflemming3218

7 ай бұрын

Some are.

@bonnygoldberg5852

5 ай бұрын

That is not necessarily true.

Thank you great video much needed to here what you said kellyn

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

🙏

How did you get so wise Jonathon, so many things you say are SPOT ON .

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Observing humans for 18 years...

@Racinegirl

7 ай бұрын

Well, I'm in your dysfunctional category, but also broke, so I can't join your help group, but I sure enjoy listening to you, I'm glad you don't take yourself so serious either, I truly think your one of the good guys. 🙂

The breadcrumbing thing...my ex HN never bread crumbed me while dating... but the day we get married he stopped opening my car door and started bread crumbing me. I left shortly after that. He didn't have interest in counseling so that was that.

Johnathan you seems like a great person. I I have listened & watched your videos many times. I hope you find a good person. Your profile was great. Good lunch in your search. God Bless.

@JonathonAslay

5 ай бұрын

I appreciate that

Yes, Jonathan, you are correct, liking someone is different than loving someone. I believe loving and liking someone, whether child or adult is the ultimate. That brings true joy. You are the only person I’ve heard or read that have said that. Thank you.❤️

@JonathonAslay

11 күн бұрын

You're welcome 😊

Some women lower their standars such that the men are taking them for granted.

I just ended a 6-year relationship of crumbs...learned so much I was putting up with...ty Jonathon

Sarah you are awesome Don't let this guy use you You are awesome you deserve so much better Amen

I love you and what you teach!❤️

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Awe... thank you 😊

Sara, he is absolutely not into you. The fact that nothing has happened in five years is this will go on forever. End it like that because he will hurt you more.

I love you counselling

Matt Kahn & Joy Kingsborough "I'm all in. Through thick or thin, I want us to win."

I just today started a journal to try to change this love affair. I just wrote on first page. Rejection is Gods protection. It might help me. Now it’s just tears.

So true!!

Age doesn't protect us from being used . I hope Sarah got out and lived way better. I got out after a year when i realised he wasn't progressing much . I dont care how many women are "married" around me, i refuse crumbs or cr*p

@stephaniepersin4222

6 ай бұрын

Some people who have aged know how to not get used. When you don’t take break(s) between relationships is when you don’t get wise on men.

One question I ask right up front, from the start. How AVAILABLE are you? Likely response? Available, for WHAT? This is where one has to be very honest, personally. My answer...be truly, freely, available to even start or want to put in effort, time, into a genuine, full relationship, long term. With any woman. Whether or not it's me. With any woman. Then listen for what answers you get. In my case, if the guy is already pretty well attached with someone else , me, it's thanks but no thanks. Life is finite, time is precious , I'm not waiting and fussing around with a maybe or perhaps a sort of yes but, no but...yes but.... No buts. Thanks but no thanks. Start from AVAILABILITY.

@bonnygoldberg5852

5 ай бұрын

I like that idea. Start with availability.

I've been dating Ed for over 3 months, he was widowed over a year ago. We communicate every day by text. We see each other 2 to 3 times a week. I've met his kids, his sister and other family members and he always makes me feel cherished. I was breadcrumbed for over 11 yrs and this is a wonderful change. We have not said the L word even tho I feel it, I want him to say it first. he had a wonderful marriage of over 36 years so I'm giving as much space as he needs and letting him set the pace ✨💖✨

I’ve had some enormous blind spots in relationships. It’s awful! I’m doing my best to accept people for who they are and value myself enough to walk away. And oh yes I will no longer accept crumbs anymore!

You are hilarious Jonathon

It is very simple you built as you go putting the same effort he is putting first! It is not complicated because time is also an investment as nobody lives forever! Don't waste your time with people that do not care for you the way you want them in the future to care for your children! If he can't die for you he won't for your children. You want a father that will feed, provide, protect and take to the hospital your children. If he can't do it for you he will not do it for them. If he mistreat you he will mistreat them!

😂😂😂 you're hilarious Jonathan. I need some fairy dust. Lol

Jonathan deeply sorry for your loss😢 too

Growers are all in threw thick and thin they want to win......

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Exactly

You Crack me up sometimes too. 😂

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Sometimes??? Lol 😆

A long friendship 1st!!! At least 2yrs as friends first ❤ a firm foundation

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

Who pays during this long friendship?

@Pinkcandy777

7 ай бұрын

@@JonathonAslay ?.pays what

@Pinkcandy777

7 ай бұрын

@@JonathonAslay what if we just jump in then? Before even developing a relationship. Unwise

@JonathonAslay

7 ай бұрын

​@@Pinkcandy777pay for dates or dinners and stuff...

@Pinkcandy777

7 ай бұрын

@@JonathonAslay when your 1st building just a friendship that's not dating 😊. Yet.

i dont sleep with them straight away-so they cant USE-THE GENUINE ONES STAY