How a Christian Man SHOULD Pursue a Christian Woman

How Christians SHOULD Date For A Healthy And Happy Marriage | Part 1
• How Christians SHOULD ...
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Пікірлер: 289

  • @ashleysanders6731
    @ashleysanders6731 Жыл бұрын

    I cannot express how discouraged I am about dating right now. It seems like no one cares anymore, or are afraid of commitment.

  • @Armed-Forever

    @Armed-Forever

    Жыл бұрын

    are you a traditional woman who deserves commitment ?

  • @Pedro-of4tn

    @Pedro-of4tn

    Жыл бұрын

    Hi sister, I want to start by saying..."May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." And that I would like to encourage you to first and foremost submit yourself to God and that you pray to the father in the name of the only begotten son of God and that you talk to wise and perhaps older sisters in the body of Christ for help, advice, etc. Here are some scriptures... 1 John 5:14-15 English Standard Version 14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. 1 Timothy 5:1-2 English Standard Version Instructions for the Church 5 Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity. Hebrews 13:4 English Standard Version 4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 1 Corinthians 7:1-11 English Standard Version Principles for Marriage 7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.[a] 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:29-35 English Standard Version 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 13:14 English Standard Version 14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    Don’t blame you. God bless you

  • @magnaz26

    @magnaz26

    Жыл бұрын

    Christians shouldn't be dating to begin with, so it's good that you are discouraged about it.

  • @fredrickmaverick4831

    @fredrickmaverick4831

    Жыл бұрын

    Me i last date back in 2019 staying with her in relationship for 2yrs after breaking up from each other I felt like maybe I did date for fun and at wrong time whereby I wasn't ready for marriage so right now i just wait for marriage no need to date for fun...

  • @loveoneanother4812
    @loveoneanother4812 Жыл бұрын

    I don't ever want to see other people. If I am pursuing a woman, I am only pursuing that woman and nobody else.

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    God bless you, that’s a blessing

  • @MiaCarter7

    @MiaCarter7

    10 ай бұрын

    I really hope you stand by that when you meet her.

  • @loveoneanother4812

    @loveoneanother4812

    10 ай бұрын

    @@MiaCarter7I do, if I'm dating a woman my intention is marriage

  • @TEWMUCH

    @TEWMUCH

    9 ай бұрын

    Same

  • @Dean-sm5rt

    @Dean-sm5rt

    5 ай бұрын

    Very unfortunate typo there. But yes, I know what you mean.

  • @poojasoneja7011
    @poojasoneja70119 ай бұрын

    No one has ever been intentional with me in my 29 years. I get discouraged all the time and yet I hear the Lord's voice to trust in Him💞

  • @conhod10

    @conhod10

    9 күн бұрын

    I’m 26 male felt the same way myself. Just met the godliest woman I’ve ever met and she is 29! Be patient and stay true to God!

  • @poojasoneja7011

    @poojasoneja7011

    8 күн бұрын

    ​@@conhod10Aww that's sweet! God bless you both 🥰

  • @bendelaughter
    @bendelaughter Жыл бұрын

    I was very intentional and up front on our first date, and my wife says she loved it.

  • @tracyonyenwe6062

    @tracyonyenwe6062

    Ай бұрын

    Every woman who is ready for marriage loves this! That's one of the greenest flags my boyfriend has. He knows what kind of woman God wants for him and he knew right away that he wanted to do life with me and didn't beat around the bush about it. Very direct, intentional, and sweet. He never rushed me to give him an answer, he was my friend and made his intention to be my husband clear. It sounds scary to some women, but being sure and intentional in pursuit is one thing a man ready to get married should be.

  • @kaylahood1000
    @kaylahood100011 ай бұрын

    I haven't met a man who is really intentional about me. I have never been married before or even be proposed to. Because all people care about is just looks and not getting to know anyone. Plus I'm different I know I am. You won't find me twerking or wearing clothes that reveals everything. I get passed up just because I am not doing what is popular. And the men who are interested in me they say they are a Christian until I bring up that I am waiting until marriage it's a problem. Make having standards, respect, morals popular.I haven't had the experience of being courted. :)

  • @sageart4771

    @sageart4771

    9 ай бұрын

    You ma'am are a catch. Your husband will find you one day!

  • @ivwvy

    @ivwvy

    8 ай бұрын

    Amen, the bible explains that the world will dislike us or even hate us if we are not of it’s own, so if we are following Christ, a lot of people aren’t going to see eye to eye. But that’s fine, trust in God, that he will bring the right person into your life, and ask him to help you discern between those that will lead you astray, and those that will strengthen your faith.

  • @kotymccallister5150

    @kotymccallister5150

    3 ай бұрын

    And it's a shame that when you are intentional, people start playing games. The hard to get stuff 🙄

  • @okolitracy5283

    @okolitracy5283

    Ай бұрын

    Hold on sis. He's coming.

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    My word, that is enough to make me doubt their claim to Christianity. If they were real Christians, they would appreciate that you are saving yourself for the right one.

  • @JoseSantos-vn4nt
    @JoseSantos-vn4nt Жыл бұрын

    This is to protect our heart as men too! Trust me, I learned my lesson although God was merciful Proverbs 4:23.

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    God bless you

  • @JoseSantos-vn4nt

    @JoseSantos-vn4nt

    Жыл бұрын

    @@tammi67able God bless, you!

  • @habibahprevost9368

    @habibahprevost9368

    10 ай бұрын

    Mean what you say

  • @blahblahblah4544
    @blahblahblah4544 Жыл бұрын

    Why don't people go old school and court? Courting doesn't mean sexual attraction right away. You are literally friends getting to know each other. Be honest in saying if you get into a relationship, it's for marriage. Courting is NOT a relationship. There's been many times I've wanted to court people to know their personality but refused because I knew they'd automatically think it was being a girlfriend. I wish we'd bring back the idea of pure, innocent, courting.

  • @KiCkiN828

    @KiCkiN828

    Жыл бұрын

    That's how it started with my wife and I'm thankful for that. There was zero pressure from the start and we just gradually and naturally grew together. Weve been together almost 13 years now. Luckily for me she was raised old school like myself and was all for courting.

  • @christianhenry4173

    @christianhenry4173

    Жыл бұрын

    We live in an advanced world where technology, and influence is around. It's almost like you have to go through certain processes to see if this is the person God has for you. Unless the holy spirit directly tells you "He or She is the one" and usually that can take time

  • @lisacox3750

    @lisacox3750

    Жыл бұрын

    This is kind of the problem. You just mixed up dating and courting in your comment and then wonder why other people get confused. Dating and courting are 2 different things. Dating was always dating. It was always meant to just be friends hanging out until they decided if they liked each other in order to pursue a relationship. Courting was always meant for people who were serious about seeking marriage. It was always about being marriage minded first. It was never meant to be "casual" like dating. You didn't court someone you didn't have a lot of interest in. That's the whole point. Courting meant you really were interested and was hoping it would soon turn into an official relationship. That's not the same as dating. ANYONE can "date"..go on a bunch of dates forever and ever....not everyone "courts".

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    @@lisacox3750 Semantics. The point is being able to go on a lunch with someone with a pure mind. Not "Netflix and chill" mind.

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    @@KiCkiN828 That's good. I wonder if there will ever be push back against this current perverted culture of dating. How many hearts have to break before people get right with God? I suppose it's an age old tale.

  • @CharletteLovesJESUS
    @CharletteLovesJESUS Жыл бұрын

    And let all the holy women and men say AAAAAAAMEN!!!

  • @GodLovesYouAllTheTime
    @GodLovesYouAllTheTime Жыл бұрын

    Y’all know what’s crazy, if you’re automatically an attractive woman, men literally rush you into the sexual scene. They don’t know how to control their urges. It’s automatically “I want you”. They don’t even care about my brain, or anything. Just getting in between those sheets. I’ve been celibate for some years, and a men will totally act interested, but a few months down the line and they try to have sex with me and I say no…the text messages stop. The phone calls stop. The hanging out, going on walks or coffee outings stop. I’m tired of this whole scene all together. I’m married to Jesus Christ at this point.

  • @Wise-o.g.

    @Wise-o.g.

    Жыл бұрын

    Of you're a great woman who is truly seeking a husband to find. The things you mentioned shouldn't be and issue. There are many men of God looking to marry they just want godly women. Men for the streets act that of what you wrote. Those tend to be the men that don't want to wait for women who've given there value any to other men for free yet want them to pay.

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    Amén and God bless you. Pray and ask God to send you someone that He would himself choose for you.

  • @daisiesandpandas1218

    @daisiesandpandas1218

    Жыл бұрын

    ​@@Wise-o.g. I have Christian girl friends who were introduced to other "Christian" brothers by aunties at church... They told me stories of those brothers running when my friends said at the beginning, I don't believe in sex before marriage. The church is a hospital.

  • @Wise-o.g.

    @Wise-o.g.

    Жыл бұрын

    @@daisiesandpandas1218 ok.

  • @PureSniperWolf

    @PureSniperWolf

    Жыл бұрын

    Those are simply not the men for you. ❤ A man who loves God and respects you as a beloved daughter of the King wouldn't merely crave your flesh. ✝️

  • @KisuGlory
    @KisuGlory Жыл бұрын

    I Hope My Future Husband Sees This. 🙏🙏

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    Amen

  • @shontasmith9362

    @shontasmith9362

    Жыл бұрын

    Amen!! As do I.

  • @harbar3000

    @harbar3000

    Жыл бұрын

    Make certain that you don’t put him in the Friendzone.

  • @KisuGlory

    @KisuGlory

    Жыл бұрын

    @@harbar3000 😅, no I won't for sure.

  • @mae1062

    @mae1062

    9 ай бұрын

    Same

  • @misterrevealator7729
    @misterrevealator77298 ай бұрын

    I'm 40. I know exactly what I want in a woman. The problem is that there is so much nonsense in the world today that there's very few good Christian women out there. I don't want a woman that claims to be a Christian and then tries to sleep with me before we are married. There's a giant red flag there!

  • @deadcell1

    @deadcell1

    7 ай бұрын

    What you want and what you need are two different things. The real question is can you be with a woman who only gives you what you need?

  • @resianemaculate.

    @resianemaculate.

    Ай бұрын

    Any sex before marriage is sin.Thats none negotiable.

  • @RandyEscalanteGarcia
    @RandyEscalanteGarcia Жыл бұрын

    Allen is 💯 on this one. A man of God will care about you more than himself (self sacrificial love as Christ loves the church) and will also do all he can to prioritize pouring into you as a woman of God. Take it from me, a man who God straightened up and kept accountable to for his soon to be finance/wife! God bless!

  • @saywhatondat

    @saywhatondat

    Жыл бұрын

    That’s right!

  • @RandyEscalanteGarcia

    @RandyEscalanteGarcia

    Жыл бұрын

    @@saywhatondat God bless you sister :) 💯🙏🏽

  • @chicosmomma4086

    @chicosmomma4086

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm so grateful that God did a works in you. Praise the Lord and I'm sure your wife is grateful too. I pray that all Christian men looking for a wife are also moved by the Holy Spirit to follow Allen and be intentional and honest. Praise the Lord again and I pray many blessings for you, your wife and your family.

  • @shebrownsuga
    @shebrownsuga Жыл бұрын

    Aww. Alan's wife .. She's so pretty.

  • @cordovanhobbyist895
    @cordovanhobbyist895 Жыл бұрын

    What if you've never dated? Not even once? What should you do? I'm genuinely curious because I'm ignorant.

  • @sethsisneros8369

    @sethsisneros8369

    Жыл бұрын

    I've also never been in a relationship, but here's a few tips I learned that I think are good for anyone to start at: - Solidify your relationship/identity in Christ before dating. If you don't have your identity in Christ developed/haven't met Jesus truly, then how can you/anyone expect to be in a relationship with another? - Determine the ultimate goal of dating: marriage (as defined Biblically, not worldly). If you just want to date/be in a relationship without looking for marriage (i.e casual dating), you're setting yourself up for failure and just wasting the other person's time. A general rule of thumb: If you realize you're at a point right now where you can't marry or don't want to, then don't enter in a dating relationship. - Continue to improve yourself daily and work towards marriage (if you desire marriage). Learn about God's original designs for male and female (Genesis/Scripture) and live that out. Continue to read His word, and surround yourself with GODLY (this is required) mentors who are in a GODLY relationship with their spouse. Seek examples in Scripture of godly men and women, and ask your mentors questions that they'd be comfortable talking about. God bless and hope this helps!

  • @tammi67able

    @tammi67able

    Жыл бұрын

    God bless you, pray and Ask God to send you someone that He would want for you

  • @PureSniperWolf

    @PureSniperWolf

    Жыл бұрын

    What has helped me is to pray, and ask God to give you clear vision of the wife and mother of your children He wants for you. What does her heart look like? Does she worship Jesus? What personal values does she have? Ask yourself what does this woman do when you aren't around? Does she have a lot of friends? Is she a leader of a club? Does she feel most comfortable at home rather than going out? Is she goofy or loud or reserved? Get a clear idea of the traits you're looking for - 5 to 10. Then get an idea of your deal breakers. If ANY of these come up, it's a hard pass. She may be *someone's* match, but not yours. I wrote it down after working it out with some guidance from an elder I trust, and I take my little note with me on dates. I look at it before and after each date. Before, to remind myself of what I'm looking for. After, to reflect on what happened while the facts are still fresh - what did or did not happen compared to what I *wanted* to happen. I hope this is helpful to anyone that needs it. ❤✝️ And above all, trust that if you feel the call for a spouse and marriage, that God wants that for you too and is preparing you both for each other.

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    The serious relationship should not happen until after you both know that's what you want. There's nothing wrong with dating if you honor each other and honor God by not crossing lines that should not be crossed.

  • @user-kb9km4wg8p
    @user-kb9km4wg8p Жыл бұрын

    I really think courtship is important, not only to have more reasons to be with a woman but to see if she's the right one idk about telling that person straight up with it not ending with you guys together, but yes intentions must be clear

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    Yep I agree. Courting should be pure and innocent. As friends. No sexual mentality. Then when you decide you like their personality and want to marry, save the sexual mentality for the wedding day. Our media has everyone thinking we are a bunch of animals unable to control our mentality but we can and it's beautiful. I think that's how old school courting was operated. Wish it was still like that.

  • @cathym6753
    @cathym6753 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for saying this I have had this problem with man all my life to the point where now I'm 51 years old and I'm alone and don't have anybody in my life never was able to have a family because men are not serious about a relationship

  • @lhcarter
    @lhcarter8 ай бұрын

    Ladies, remember you only need one good man. God may be keeping the bad ones away from you, which you may interpret as “ what’s wrong with me?” Better to wait for God to bring you the right man, while you work on being the best woman you can be. When I was looking for a husband a dear sister advised me, “God will bring you the man you are prepared for”. Which turned out to be right. I had some preparing to do until I met my husband of 30 years. 😇

  • @deadcell1

    @deadcell1

    7 ай бұрын

    The problem is alot of women fall for the trap of looking for the best man instead of a good man. They want it all. They'll meet a good man but he falls short of checking off a few of their boxes and passes him up because she's waiting for the "better option". He has to have all the same interest she has, he has to like everything she likes, he has to make $200k+ a year, he has to be highly active in the church, etc, etc the list never ends. If they date a guy who doesn't check off all the boxes they call it" settling".

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@deadcell1 it's not "settling" if he does something to my heart. For me, he better be a Christian and have a gentle spirit. I don't care how much money he makes if he cares enough to step in my world and enjoy some things that I like to do, and I would do the same for him. I almost married a trekkie, and let's just say that wasn't the reason I broke up with him.

  • @kansaspowell60
    @kansaspowell609 ай бұрын

    Thank you Allen. I am so glad to hear someone helping us with selecting a person to marry. Much needed.

  • @ndeen8376
    @ndeen8376 Жыл бұрын

    It really hurts being on the receiving end of that.

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    How do you mean? Like, if someone only wants to date and marry?

  • @estarriknight
    @estarriknight10 ай бұрын

    I’m so discouraged too and I don’t feel beautiful because no man who loves God seems to even consider me unless he’s basically desperate.

  • @Nothingbutdust_

    @Nothingbutdust_

    25 күн бұрын

    Same, I feel like all men value outer beauty more than anything, even Christian men. But I shouldn't complain because even as a woman I cannot totally disregard appearance either. So what do you do when you're appearance isn't enough? People just tell me I'm kind, sweet, smart all that but that's just it. It seems so unfair that God's allowed me to be born ugly and unattractive if I still desire to be married. I just want Him to take this desire away so I wouldn't desire anything at all anymore.

  • @frankbygrace

    @frankbygrace

    5 күн бұрын

    @@Nothingbutdust_someone once told me calling myself ugly is the same as calling God ugly because we were made in his image. The Bible says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus tells us that every hair on our head is numbered. God does not make any mistakes. You are not alone my brother/sister. You have earthly desires but God has greater plans for you right now. Seek him first and he will take care of all the rest in his perfect timing. And if it is of any comfort to you, I am 25 and have never been in a relationship before either. I’m still waiting on him. Focus on building your relationship with him because that’s more important than any temporary thing we can gain in this world

  • @Nothingbutdust_

    @Nothingbutdust_

    5 күн бұрын

    @@frankbygrace Thank you, some days it's easier but the pain is always there regardless. I'm 32 this year and still waiting. I've also never been in a relationship before so I don't know, I can't find anyone in my age group whom I can relate to. People and friends and even relatives are starting to distance themselves from me because our lives are nothing alike anymore. It's becoming increasingly difficult to have to see and hear them talk about their everyday lives which all revolves around their families, children and partners all the time. I've also been told by a doctor some time ago already that I might not have much time left to have children because of previous health conditions. I'm honestly getting a little frustrated with God's timing but I still trust Him that He will see me through until the end. I'm not expecting anything and I've stopped praying about it because it's not something He promised us either nor an easy life. Sometimes we just have to accept His will whatever that may be. That's what I believe.

  • @hg3895
    @hg3895 Жыл бұрын

    Men need to listen to him. I drop guys for this exact behaviour. Stringing women along and not knowing what they want.

  • @bradwhitt6768

    @bradwhitt6768

    5 ай бұрын

    Or women need to choose the men who they can get not the men they hope to get

  • @mikemcnut3204

    @mikemcnut3204

    5 ай бұрын

    You “drop” guys? Red flag

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@mikemcnut3204 it's a red flag that a woman stands on her boundaries and doesn't take garbage?

  • @Starnerve
    @Starnerve Жыл бұрын

    A lot of men nowadays are either gay, have high standards, deceitful, hateful, and non-committal. The ones who are kind loving and try to keep God’s commandments are either in a relationship or they can’t/don’t want to have a relationship. At this point I keep believing that I’ll never find a man who will ever love me, flaws and all. I feel like I’m living in a hopeless generation where people value their opinions more than God’s truth and will attack anyone who follows Him. That said, I guess it’s better to be alone. At least I can rely on the Lord to guard my heart instead of a man who’s only going to break it in the end. To those who found love, consider yourselves blessed. 😊

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    Haha I'm in the same boat. I got divorced because long story short, abuse. I think people forgot what love is. People say I love you but what they mean is "You make me feel good". There's no such thing as "I love you but..." Pure love is different. I don't judge anyone who don't know pure love because it's taken me this long to understand it. But pure love gives and doesn't expect anything in return. I forgot what bible verse but it explains love. Love is kind, isn't boastful, is slow to anger etc. I think there should be an entire bible study on love. And how to love.

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    Ruslan

  • @TheSecondAdam

    @TheSecondAdam

    11 ай бұрын

    A lot might be like that. But you only need one to be the right one for you. So he is worth the wait.

  • @EazyE_

    @EazyE_

    7 ай бұрын

    It disappoints me how many women allow singleness to make their own heart’s bitter towards men. Most women don’t know how to even invite most men into their lives. They get too caught up in “it’s okay, God will send my husband to me.” But yet they do nothing to show or to let a man even pursue them. And I think that mentality doesn’t make sense. A hunter can’t hunt a deer that doesn’t leave tracks. Read that sentence again if you have to

  • @mannymedia6311

    @mannymedia6311

    2 ай бұрын

    If u see the guys u like in relationships they had to start somewhere, so can you 🙏🏽

  • @Rome_22
    @Rome_2211 ай бұрын

    I rushed and got Married after only six months because i thought it was the right thing to do. We divorced after 5 years because we truly did not no each other and i feel she had different motives than Love. So I tell people to take there time and really get to no the other person before marriage. I also gave up a lot of money during the marriage. The guy seems to always lose in the divorce. 👍🏽

  • @resianemaculate.

    @resianemaculate.

    Ай бұрын

    Praying and trusting God for a God fearing wife pays.Trusting God for a man after God's own heart

  • @WeAreTheRemnant
    @WeAreTheRemnant Жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @samanthajoslyn7051
    @samanthajoslyn7051 Жыл бұрын

    Dating or "seeing" more than one person at a time is called cheating. Dating someone and deciding to break it off because the other person you met feels more promising is called leading someone on.

  • @TheBlaxkWolf

    @TheBlaxkWolf

    10 ай бұрын

    No it’s not cheating unless the two of you have communicated you’re seeing other people, and that you’re not exclusively dating.

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    It's only cheating if you have both agreed to go exclusive. If I'm dating someone and I'm not emotionally invested with that person yet, I'm not going to have a problem if he's dating others as well.

  • @brittneythompson7218
    @brittneythompson721810 ай бұрын

    This behavior falls under the man’s role of protecting. I woman will never feel safe with a man if she doesn’t see that he values her heart and wants to protect that. I just got my heart broken because the man I was seeing did the exact opposite of this. I always felt unsure of his intentions and feelings and so felt unsafe to be vulnerable with him. And then he took the easy way out and ghosted me.

  • @Anointed1s_TV
    @Anointed1s_TV Жыл бұрын

    Amen! Thanks for sharing this bro!

  • @javz49
    @javz49 Жыл бұрын

    Off topic but you look very young and healthy. Also just glowing overall. Haven't been on your channel in a while and I'm glad to see you still pushing good content as usual and looking great. Good for you Allen!!

  • @eutropiarhodes1666
    @eutropiarhodes16669 ай бұрын

    COURTSHIP...NOT DATING.

  • @loujackmorgiewicz8541
    @loujackmorgiewicz85417 ай бұрын

    I feel this 💯%. Know what you’re looking for.

  • @donaldandrews1702
    @donaldandrews1702 Жыл бұрын

    The Lord's word says guard YOUR heart, not someone elses, cause you can not guard another person's heart, how are you gonna do that? That individual wmon has to that herself.

  • @noelmagne7657
    @noelmagne7657 Жыл бұрын

    May my future husband see this 😘

  • Жыл бұрын

    I've seen it already, Amen ))

  • @judekabongo282
    @judekabongo2826 ай бұрын

    Needed this! Thank you brother Alan!

  • @KettouRyuujin
    @KettouRyuujin11 ай бұрын

    I’m very much worried about commitment, but it’s concern about not finding the right person really. Then again I’m very socially awkward… I actually haven’t been on a *single* date yet, and I’ve been out of college for a while.

  • @MapleBar777
    @MapleBar77723 күн бұрын

    Being a 40 year old single Christian man with no kids who’s done it all wrong in a multitude of approaches, my whole preconception of dating in general is really in question. I’m starting to wonder if being celibate is even enough, and if dating should resemble something closer to a friendship without any intimacy at all. In my experiences I’ve come to realize whatever level of bond you develop with a partner inversely affects your future relationships. I feel like the only way to not negatively impact future relationships is to completely avoid emotionally bonding with a dating partner until you propose. And, yeah I know, that doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense either. I’m lost 🤷‍♂️🤣

  • @kevingarfield2094
    @kevingarfield20947 ай бұрын

    Denzel Washington saying facts 🔥🔥

  • @matthias6734

    @matthias6734

    5 ай бұрын

    you made my day lol (they really lookalike each other)

  • @2004dale
    @2004dale Жыл бұрын

    Facts!

  • @BecamePneuma
    @BecamePneuma6 ай бұрын

    Great message. God Bless

  • @Dean-sm5rt
    @Dean-sm5rt5 ай бұрын

    "At this point you've probably dated a lot..." no sir, I have not. Do I know what I want in a woman, yes a godly one. Beyond that, kind still figuring that out... but I know a few things.

  • @BelovedbyAdonai
    @BelovedbyAdonai Жыл бұрын

    Louder 📢🎤🔊 for the people in the back ❗

  • @dcbfan1231
    @dcbfan12316 ай бұрын

    I did make my intentions clear and she’s now playing the hard to get game with me by taking hours to reply to my text, postponed our second date not once but twice, and I haven’t heard from her in slightly over a week. So my response to all of this was I last told her for her to get back to me when she’s free for our date and I have gone no contact since, meaning no reaching out to her at all. I’m still waiting and about ready to move on.

  • @mawilove7086

    @mawilove7086

    5 ай бұрын

    Hi, your job is to make your intentions known. How she responds is not in your control and it is not your responsibility. Just do your part. When a woman responds poorly to you move on because she isn’t the one. It doesn’t make her bad and it doesn’t make you bad. It just means that God has better for you. As you are seeking a wife make sure that you are also seeking God and asking for his confirmation and approval of a woman. Also don’t be hard on yourself for what doesn’t work out. Just stay consistent and keep being honest and intentional and you’ll reap the reward. Sometimes we give the right thing to the wrong people. There is someone else out there for you just stay open, and don’t become bitter no matter how disappointing it gets.

  • @dcbfan1231

    @dcbfan1231

    5 ай бұрын

    @@mawilove7086 appreciate your message. I have moved on since posting this and I’ve kept myself busy with work, working out, and volunteering at my church. It’s been great and loving it.

  • @Lavenderrose73

    @Lavenderrose73

    Ай бұрын

    I'm sorry she treated you that way, she should have been honest if she didn't feel the same way.

  • @dcbfan1231

    @dcbfan1231

    Ай бұрын

    @@Lavenderrose73 since my original post over four months ago, I recently found out she was pregnant and had a baby just last month. She was already pregnant while we were on our date.

  • @Unitedwestand195
    @Unitedwestand195 Жыл бұрын

    Amen!

  • @maras507
    @maras507 Жыл бұрын

    Amen 🙏🏽

  • @shivmarkkumar2534
    @shivmarkkumar25347 ай бұрын

    Even if I am clear, intentional, gracious and respectful about it, the Christian women I had pursued were flaky, unwilling to be clear themselves about yes or no to just go out, and played games with me to keep me chasing. Im quite fed up. And no im not inexpetienced, just trying to protect and guard a womens heart, but am clearly being steamrolled by the girls. I think the missing message is clarity and respect works both ways.

  • @marshareed1438
    @marshareed1438 Жыл бұрын

    Point on!

  • @rgrateful
    @rgrateful25 күн бұрын

    Amen

  • @venessatymes7306
    @venessatymes73069 ай бұрын

    Great advice

  • @Osredna1983
    @Osredna198311 ай бұрын

    Thanks for the video, appreciate it.

  • @rtholman83
    @rtholman83 Жыл бұрын

    I 💯 agree

  • @LovettbalngoodsLLC
    @LovettbalngoodsLLC8 ай бұрын

    ⁠seem like people blaming on theses comments. Saying we don’t deserve to be with a good man etc? Most people want nowadays is a hook up. I don’t have to be traditional to deserve commitment! We not living in the BC anymore. It it does seem like most men and women to be Honest is trying to date and go to bed with each other or be a side piece even the married men trying to be out and around. They not even faithful to their own partners.

  • @Alx1787
    @Alx17876 ай бұрын

    This is insighting, Please give the full sermon video.. thank you

  • @TamikaSampson-lc7vv
    @TamikaSampson-lc7vv2 ай бұрын

    Very informative

  • @helenacummings2745
    @helenacummings2745 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you, Perfectly said from a Godly Mans Perspective, we Need more Men to stand up for what is right, First have a heart after God and worship him with all your heart let him heal your Trauma and then pursue someone in the right way🙏

  • @Anna-jw2qq
    @Anna-jw2qq6 ай бұрын

    Thank you. ❤

  • @naturalgurl906
    @naturalgurl90610 ай бұрын

    👏 well said

  • @chrisparker6249
    @chrisparker6249 Жыл бұрын

    Amen to ALLLLLLAT!❤

  • @user-ku1kz4gz8q
    @user-ku1kz4gz8q2 ай бұрын

    Theology of the body is great on this stuff

  • @NanetteFloydPatterson
    @NanetteFloydPatterson Жыл бұрын

    Good stuff!

  • @Caldwell2020
    @Caldwell2020 Жыл бұрын

    Yeah but what if I don’t know her well enough? Shouldn’t we hang out in a group setting before I declare intentions if I’m undecided???

  • @andreaharris7397
    @andreaharris7397 Жыл бұрын

    Alright now AP. 😊

  • @Faithinspiredlessons
    @FaithinspiredlessonsАй бұрын

    Alhamdulillah

  • @fredrickmaverick4831
    @fredrickmaverick4831 Жыл бұрын

    My favorite topic has always been marriage though nowadays people hate that topic as they like opening their ears widely open to topic such as boyfriend and girlfriend the topic I ever hated though am 23

  • @user-uc8bp1zi7i
    @user-uc8bp1zi7i7 ай бұрын

    I have failed at this. Forgive me Lord.

  • @MA-yc7pz
    @MA-yc7pz Жыл бұрын

    Exactly "CLEAR" !!! No more go the flow 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️this came out of 33 year old christian man after going out for 2 months 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @17736tja
    @17736tja6 ай бұрын

    Having clear intentions is great. And I agree, but as a guy…it’s really tough right now. I’m trying to make just enough money to SURVIVE. And most women it seems want a relationship where they can comfortably stay at home and raise a family? So how am I supposed to date someone when I want to get married, but can’t even provide for them? It’s extremely depressing and disheartening 😓

  • @Channyb89

    @Channyb89

    6 ай бұрын

    You really need to change your thinking. There are woman who don’t want to stay home and raise a family. And if she does you can work something out until you can. Pray and ask God for His guidance. He’ll be more than happy to give it to you. “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.“ ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬ God will provide. You do your best and God will take of the rest. I’m a witness!

  • @angelfleites2944
    @angelfleites294410 ай бұрын

    AMEN

  • @scheirainasande3092
    @scheirainasande3092 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you young Man For Getting Out & Steppen Up To The Table To Help Support & Inform All Your Generation Friends In Order To feed All their Brains with Real Life nurturing Foods Instead Of All the fast Track snacking that's not producing Anything !! And maybe you could Recruit A few more Gentlemen to jump on this same track as Your doing & maybe get A Few Women As Well..... So Get this movement/relation vice & All that goes w/it out there ASAP !!! 😅...Just stopped by to ramble..

  • @Triplefdj
    @Triplefdj3 ай бұрын

    What if I’m only 16 but im to lonely to wait until im 18

  • @ToyBonBoy

    @ToyBonBoy

    Ай бұрын

    I feel exactly the same way brother. Man this guy's advice was pretty bad

  • @chuckiedavidson719
    @chuckiedavidson719 Жыл бұрын

    He is right when it comes to guarding a woman’s heart and being up front but you can’t go all in when you first meet a woman. If your not the type to sleep around then what is wrong with spending time on dates with other people if you are honest and haven’t agreed to be in a committed relationship?? I would just hate to see a good Christian man get done wrong when he decides to commit day one and then she turns out to not be what he thinks she is. Get to know the person you are with before you commit there is a lot of divorces in today’s society.

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes. 100% agree. Please get to know people before you marry. I got into a marriage and ended up abused. :/ Hence why I think courting is a good idea. Know people as friends first. Their true colors will eventually show. Even friends. I've had friends turn their back on me because they became huffy and judgemental over what I did with my life. Their true colors shown. :( I really can't trust no one but God now. Satan really tempts and works over the church. Spirit of pride taking over the church right now. Everyone forgetting they are as sinful as the people they judge:/ True colors are shown through the fruit of their works. That's how you can tell if the spirit of Christ is with them. So courting is a time to observe. I think really the best way is to probably to focus on Christ. I think God is all about good timing. So if you devote your life to Christ, the more you can get on His good timing and the right person will be on that same timing :) Well, I think that's how it works anyways lol

  • @mawilove7086

    @mawilove7086

    5 ай бұрын

    This ideology comes from a fear of vulnerability and being hurt. When you are secure you can fully commit to dating one person at a time because you’re not afraid of something not working out and you ending up being alone because you are ok by yourself. When you focus on one person at a time you are giving your full self and you actually end up spotting deal breakers quicker than when you are wasting your time dating multiple people trying to find the one who makes you feel the best. Good women will see you as a red flag if you are not capable of just dating her. Meaning, you’ll miss out on quality chasing quantity. How will you be with one woman in marriage if you cannot date one woman for a few weeks.

  • @iLuvGlitznGlam
    @iLuvGlitznGlam6 ай бұрын

  • @tinastarrie74
    @tinastarrie74 Жыл бұрын

    💗

  • @HeavyHeartsShow
    @HeavyHeartsShowАй бұрын

    RC Sproul once said men are most impacted by being fired and divorce, and he prepares years for his job but hardly studies for marriage

  • @XxMillyBandzxX
    @XxMillyBandzxX5 ай бұрын

    Where the whole video?

  • @radicalttc
    @radicalttc10 ай бұрын

    Great advice, find someone on the same page.

  • @Rymann_23
    @Rymann_23 Жыл бұрын

    Amen! I have a friend who’s currently not intentional with his relationships, so do you have any scripture about this I can point him to?

  • @vladlucius6928
    @vladlucius69286 ай бұрын

    I have tried and never found a christian woman but now have a fiance whos open to conversion

  • @mercymwango9328
    @mercymwango9328Ай бұрын

    You look like Denzel Washington 😮

  • @rebeccaluviano3302
    @rebeccaluviano330210 ай бұрын

    Wow pretty smart guy there

  • @fourways_
    @fourways_10 ай бұрын

    where can i watch the full episode? any links?

  • @SmileyTheJester
    @SmileyTheJester4 ай бұрын

    How am i supposed to be better at finding a significant other if im alone

  • @AG-vp1ok
    @AG-vp1ok8 ай бұрын

    Where can I find the full video?

  • @ognjenpavlovic8948
    @ognjenpavlovic894821 күн бұрын

    Dude I sliped up and told her would you like our marriage to be with a lot of people or just family she was a lil flabergasted then I pđayed it off as a man with the plan

  • @braydenschmidt1365
    @braydenschmidt13655 ай бұрын

    I been single my whole life bruh im just done being lonley

  • @dvaccino
    @dvaccino20 күн бұрын

    Sadly this is happening in the church and it is very disheartening. I expect more from my Christian brothers.

  • @lukes401k
    @lukes401k8 ай бұрын

    Even if you aren’t Christian, this is still good advice. Make what you want from the relationship VERY apparent with your partner, and that goes for the men as well as the women. Don’t waste time in a relationship that is not fruitful

  • @MiaCarter7
    @MiaCarter710 ай бұрын

    I’m so hurt and feet I may never be able to open my heart up again. Men just seem like aren’t capable of loving women fully. Even when they think they do, deep down they really don’t. They’re supposed to guard women’s hearts but they seem to be at war with them for no reason.

  • @stephaniewiley3512
    @stephaniewiley3512 Жыл бұрын

    He favors Denzel. Good, sound wisdom and knowledge.

  • @kiranmal4057
    @kiranmal405711 ай бұрын

    Exactly

  • @staffordcreeden-dl5rl

    @staffordcreeden-dl5rl

    10 ай бұрын

    I think it's for both

  • @TheBlaxkWolf

    @TheBlaxkWolf

    10 ай бұрын

    @@staffordcreeden-dl5rldid you clearly not hear where he said he was talking to the “men.”

  • @captainrex4794
    @captainrex47947 ай бұрын

    How do I know the difference between initiating interest and chasing? Should I be approaching a girl I find attractive or should I just restrict interactions to mutual and consistent actions like work or school. Where are the Christian women? Is going to different denominations in the interest of finding a spouse disingenuous? I’ve only ever dated one girl, I’m not an incel, I don’t even know where to find women to be rejected by to be CALLED an incel. I’m afraid there are opportunities I’m missing because I could or should be taking actions I’m not then again to what degree should I be invested in this pursuit? How much is too much, how much is too little? I don’t even know if what I’m looking for exists. I’ve never met a Christian woman who is both attractive and sincere in her religion. 😂

  • @jeffreyhooper4307
    @jeffreyhooper43072 ай бұрын

    I've only dated two girls in my life the first girl just like me for me and then the second girl I didn't really get along with her that much didn't really understand what it was all about dating at the time but now I'm 23 and never had a girl since so I don't even know where to even start

  • @aaronmonroe7932
    @aaronmonroe7932 Жыл бұрын

    ■Hebrews 10 5 Therefore, when He came into the world, He said: “Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, But ☆a body☆You have prepared for Me. ■Psalm 40:6 6 Sacrifice and offering You did not desire; ☆My ears☆ You have opened. Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require.

  • @nsimaudom6711
    @nsimaudom67119 ай бұрын

    "You've probably dated enough people at this point to know what you're looking for". What if you have the goal of getting married in your first relationship?

  • @Prince-xy3km
    @Prince-xy3km7 ай бұрын

    Yes she's a sister in Christ 😅 ,God bless you 🙏

  • @lukenycz7967
    @lukenycz79676 ай бұрын

    i can't even get a woman to give me a chance at friendship let alone a date. They just ghost and play games which is so disappointing and discouraging to see from a Christian women. Feels like if i am not perfect then i dont have any chance. Don't know if women these days are taught to only accept perfection or something else.

  • @ricocolon474
    @ricocolon4748 ай бұрын

    How do I know if this is a woman that possesses the character that I should look for if I do not get to know her? I guess maybe what I should ask is how would I get to know a woman to the point where I would know that I should pursue her?

  • @deadcell1

    @deadcell1

    7 ай бұрын

    A woman's character is best displayed by the type of relationship she has with her family.

  • @ricocolon474

    @ricocolon474

    7 ай бұрын

    @@deadcell1 I see what you're saying, but for someone who doesn't see how the woman is with their family, it then makes it hard to know. And it's a bit hard to just kind of enter into their family situation to see what it's like. My point is basically that it's a good point, but seems not all too easy to put into application practically

  • @garlicgirl3149
    @garlicgirl3149 Жыл бұрын

    An associate has been on the dating apps...the THINGS that I was told about the men...OMG! Some hilarious or not funny and some just out right dangerous.

  • @malcolmnoel9044
    @malcolmnoel9044 Жыл бұрын

    Did you know that God's law is so important for christians...that Isaiah say if your doctrine is not in harmony with God's law THERE IS NO LIGHT IN IT. See Isaiah 8:20

  • @renderuntogod
    @renderuntogod Жыл бұрын

    There is a lot of insecurity in the world. The word plain has vanished. I just wonder why people are so obsessed with impressing themselves…

  • @blahblahblah4544

    @blahblahblah4544

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm really interested in what you mean. The word plain has vanished. Or impressing themselves. Can you further explain what you mean for me?

  • @renderuntogod

    @renderuntogod

    Жыл бұрын

    @@blahblahblah4544 we have escaped the basic which were laid by our forefathers and mothers. They worked hard to take care of others but we just get upset when we have no way to impress ourselves. I asked my friend to go to church with me, she says she believes but she would rather have fun at the casino. I have no problem with the casino, but it seems some people will only come to church if we put slots in them

  • @austinroberts6229
    @austinroberts62295 ай бұрын

    So tell a women your intentions without even knowing them? Walk up to a random women in church and tell her your intentions?

  • @KBowWow75
    @KBowWow757 ай бұрын

    Who's he to speak for me? I'm 32 and never dated anyone.