Forgiveness - Seriously? Why?!

______________________________
Time Stamp 11:00
*THE PRACTICE
As you breath-in quietly say to yourself:
Breathing in I forgive…
As you gently hold your breath quietly say to yourself:
Pausing in this moment of loving awareness...
As you breath-out quietly say to yourself:
Breathing out all that no longer serves me
- L. Aria, PhD
______________________________
This brief video describes what forgiveness is and is not. We start with the definition of forgiveness and differentiate between forgiveness and reconciliation. Then, we discuss the benefits of forgiveness. We also discuss the impact of the mind and body when we are unforgiving. Recent brain studies show that the brain has a signature when it comes to forgiving and unforgiving. No one brain part is responsible for forgiving but a network of small brain systems operating together. The three main factors that may sometimes result in unforgiveness tendencies are: Betrayal, abandonment, and rejection patterns we experience from childhood and young adult hood.
We wrap up with a brief meditation and some pro tips on how to navigate forgiveness-if it’s currently not possible.
*RESOURCES:
Website: The 9-Step to Forgiveness
charterforcompassion.org/attr...
Book: Moving Forward: Six Steps to Forgiving Yourself and Breaking Free from the Past Paperback - July 16, 2013
by Everett Worthington Jr. (Author)
www.amazon.com/Moving-Forward...
Book: Forgive for Good by Fred Luskin
www.amazon.com/Forgive-Good-F...
Book: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
www.amazon.com/Four-Agreement...
Book: Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud
www.amazon.com/Changes-That-H...
Book: Healing the Shame that Binds You
By John Bradshaw
www.amazon.com/Healing-Shame-...
Book: Opening Up by Writing It Down, Third Edition: How Expressive Writingt Improves Health and Eases Emotional Pain Paperback - July 15, 2016 by James W. Pennebaker (Author), Joshua M. Smyth.
www.amazon.com/Opening-Writin...
References:
Worthington, E. L., Witvliet, C. V. O., Pietrini, P., and Miller, A. J. (2007). Forgiveness, health, and well-being: a review of evidence for emotional vs. decisional forgiveness, dispositional forgivingness, and reduced unforgiveness. J. Behav. Med. 30, 291-302. doi: 10.1007/s10865-007-9105-8
Li H, Chen Q, Lu J, Qiu J. Brain Structural Bases of Tendency to Forgive: evidence from a young adults sample using voxel-based morphometry. Sci Rep. 2017;7:16856. doi: 10.1038/s41598-017-16868-3.
Li H, Lu J. The Neural Association between Tendency to Forgive and Spontaneous Brain Activity in Healthy Young Adults. Front Hum Neurosci. 2017;11:561.
Yamada M, Camerer CF, Fujie S, et al. Neural circuits in the brain that are activated when mitigating criminal sentences. Nat Commun. 2012;3:759.
*Image Sources
Insula: human-memory.net
inferior frontal gyrus:
Dorsal lateral prefrontal cortex: Sicotests.com
Brain network for forgiveness: Front. Hum. Neurosci., 09 December 2013 | doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2013.00839

Пікірлер: 21

  • @kathrynhernandez7287
    @kathrynhernandez72874 жыл бұрын

    Excellent video. We all need to hear this 💕

  • @annearia1
    @annearia14 жыл бұрын

    Great video!

  • @dianariley2253
    @dianariley22534 жыл бұрын

    This one is very powerful. Forgiveness is hard but with ACT, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    All these practice can be aligned with brushing your teeth. It’s a daily habit (turned into a lifestyle). And when we stop doing what’s healthy for us, we exercise the old unhelpful brain tracks! Happy ACT-ing!

  • @Renewing_Mind
    @Renewing_Mind4 жыл бұрын

    Very well done, Dr. Les!

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you my good sir! 💝☀️✊🏽

  • @dianariley2253
    @dianariley22534 жыл бұрын

    I love this channel, it is like having you on speed dial.

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    🤣👍🏽☀️ That’s funny-and glad you are practicing!

  • @wendyzarick1403
    @wendyzarick14034 жыл бұрын

    Just what I needed to hear today. Thank you! You rock! Shared this with all my friends too. ❤

  • @pipersfancy
    @pipersfancy2 жыл бұрын

    Hi Dr. Les, I'm new to your channel after hearing your interview on the Curable podcast. Forgiveness is such a huge issue in my recovery and I appreciate your meditation. I will practice it daily. I am recently diagnosed with PTSD and receiving help through Veterans Affairs Canada - I feel grateful to have been placed in a mind/body healing group. Part of my history includes multiple sexual assaults during my military service. I haven't looked through all your videos/resources here yet, but I am wondering if you have specific recommendations to assist in healing from sexual trauma. Many thanks, Christina

  • @katieviscuso9734
    @katieviscuso97343 жыл бұрын

    Binge eating due to avoidance of feelings

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yes-one of the main reasons. My saying is: Avoidance of emotions leads to short term gains with long term pains. Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts ☀️

  • @katieviscuso9734

    @katieviscuso9734

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@myndfulness you mention that's one of the main reasons- avoidance of feelings. Are there other reasons that are considered main reasons for this?

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@katieviscuso9734 yes, and it all depends on one’s past and current life experiences. Our nervous system (brain-mind-body) engages in unhealthy behaviors as a way to cope ...to not feel as much pain (emotional/physical)...so unhealthy behaviors are a way of coping but have more harmful effects on one’s mind and body in the long term. Seek help from a therapist or psychologist who specializes in eating disorders.

  • @wendyzarick1403
    @wendyzarick14034 жыл бұрын

    I do have a question. When you have forgiven someone and realize reconciliation is not possible but you still have to spend time around this person and they easily trigger you....how can one be at peace in their presence?

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    Great question! To “choose” to be around someone who has wounded you (repeatedly) only serves to set you up for more physical & emotional pain (the brain doesn’t discriminate). Given that, training yourself to consciously breathe (creates safety in your nervous system - look up Polyvagal Theory), and “release” all expectations of that person to be kind (or the way you WANT/DEMAND to be treated). Knowing that someone is toxic and not “consciously” grounding yourself and taking frequent breaks-only serves to open healing wounds. 💝 Limit contact & get your live/support from safe people/groups.

  • @wendyzarick1403

    @wendyzarick1403

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@myndfulnessThank you! Great advice. I think I will have to have my earplugs connected to my phone listening to the Self Check In and other videos you have posted constantly while in their presence 😂

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    🤣🤣🤣 great intervention!!! Plug n play! Lol 😄

  • @wendyzarick1403

    @wendyzarick1403

    4 жыл бұрын

    Any chance you would consider doing a video on dealing with grief? It is the one area I still struggle with. As I do know that time heals. But with new major losses recently, I feel overwhelmed.

  • @myndfulness

    @myndfulness

    4 жыл бұрын

    I’m sorry you are going through these difficult emotions. Yes, I surely can. In the mean time, do reach out to a grief group (most now are online) and get an appointment with a therapist - it helps to be guided.

  • @myndfulness
    @myndfulness4 жыл бұрын

    Meditation Practice Time Stamp 11:00