I finally realized that I wasn't grieving the narcissist. I was grieving the other losses, like the person I thought he was, and the life I thought we had, but it was all just a mirage. Knowing this has helped me move on.

@Pjbassjam

2 жыл бұрын

Hey Debbie ! This was the hardest part for me as well … Who was that? What was I seeing ? It’s the hardest move to have no contact after , no closure .. or how do we see true people now ?? Distance does help ?? But I was so mad at myself ..I also still know I loved him so hard even now … it’s the idea of that person ..hopefully we can find the truths in future relationships … now I see narcs everywhere .. hmm this time I finally saw a pattern tho .. keep being your wonderful self , they picked probably because you were SO caring :) ❤️‍🩹

@marioashford2057

2 жыл бұрын

There are other good men like me who are being abused by female narcissists. We have to listen to people say that most men are narcissists.

@Pjbassjam

2 жыл бұрын

@@marioashford2057 k a female narcissist would freak me out .. please take care of yourself and try to leave .. ❤️‍🩹

@marioashford2057

2 жыл бұрын

@@Pjbassjam I did leave. This time it is finalized. You are another woman that is a liar who is pretending to be blind about female narcissists. Overweight, unattractive, or unwanted females try to approach me all of the time because I am handsome, wealthy and kind. Beautiful women try to manipulate me. Narcissistic women are common in the future where I reside.

@debbiesday8270

2 жыл бұрын

@@marioashford2057 I hope you find a really good honest woman who can truly love and be a real partner for you.

41 days no contact. I feel relieved. I cleaned my apartment today. I felt good for the first time in months. ❤️❤️❤️ It gets easier people.

@KristalZ

Жыл бұрын

I look forward to 41 days no contact. I’m in my 3rd week 🙏

@Mrs.the.Creator

Жыл бұрын

@@KristalZ u got this. It's hard but it gets easier ❤️❤️❤️

@samco63

Жыл бұрын

Needed this. Thank you and I hope you’re still doing well

@fridaypeaches497

Жыл бұрын

I gave up my apartment to move in with him, after 5 weeks the physical and emotional abuse began. I’m basically homeless. Stay with my cousin. It’s awfully painful.

Once you have healed, they are the last person you want too be with. It’s very hard in the beginning. But set boundaries and keep them. It’s gets better.

@Dreabee83

2 жыл бұрын

He gives me the ick and I never thought that would happen

@korperbalancepilatesmitbar4302

Жыл бұрын

It's a hard way...

@rayc9899

Жыл бұрын

The moments that you acknowledge your been make a foul for the deep love you gave him; the wonder inside of you is asking - how somebody could be so distance from humanity? That miracle love only come once in a lifetime when you're lucky.

@joshuaanzalone2060

Жыл бұрын

Yes hear me I've moved on and did it a very long time ago. They hate our boundaries and I don't care.

@hearme4581

Жыл бұрын

@@joshuaanzalone2060 it does take a long time because of how hurtful they had become before the end of the relationship and even longer because I have kids and still have to deal with him. But I’m in therapy and I’m learning to detach from him actions and words. They are starting to mean nothing to me. He still very rude and try to sabotage everything in my world.

I went no contact forever, removed every mutual friend that sided with him. I honestly know nothing about him and its OK. Waiting for my awesome person.

@Hoops590

2 жыл бұрын

when i got rid of someone I started talking to like 3 friends who i didnt give an opportunity before and its more peaceful - my situation is so bizzarre i cant even begin to make sense of it

@lindasimyu6414

2 жыл бұрын

@@Hoops590 I understand that sometimes narcissistic abuse is unexplainable.

@tracyross5831

Жыл бұрын

BETTER to WAIT, patiently, than to get caught up, with ANOTHER!!!! 🤞🤞🤞❤️

@longjohnny

Жыл бұрын

@@lindasimyu6414 Don't wait too long. Before you know it you can't have children and you're surrounded by cats.

@lindasimyu6414

Жыл бұрын

@@longjohnny it's better to wait long for the right person than hurrying and settling for less because of fear of being alone only to end up being damaged.

The psychological manipulations are so transparent when you finally wake up and become aware of what they are.......and what they are trying to do.

They overthink and obsess and act on impulse when angered!

Yes the most important question is "have we moved on" from this experience. We need to get to the point where we don't care what is the narcissist doing as that keeps us stuck in the past in the pain.

@thekrrib

3 жыл бұрын

Agree.

@susanmcmahon4733

3 жыл бұрын

EXACTLY don't give a hoot what he doing as long as he sysyo away from me, poor girl he is with GOD love her. But not my problem anymore.

@davidcoppotelli3957

2 жыл бұрын

Lydia, Very Correct.

@lydias.coaching

2 жыл бұрын

@@davidcoppotelli3957 👍 All the best!

@Ehuff

2 жыл бұрын

Gotta love a good trauma bond. This is the hardest healing I’ve ever done. I despise it and it’s hard to not beat myself up for ruminating. I know how toxic it all was and can’t wait for the day I don’t think about it daily.

Believe me, the way he ended the relationship not only destroyed me on many levels, but it has also put me in a downward spiral of confusion where I can't tell or know precisely what happened or be sure about anything; I feel like I have lost my memory I can't remember anything, I have lost my identity, my sense of myself, I am completely lost.

@seriouslyjoking2

3 жыл бұрын

YOU need a therapist. Narcissists trauma-bonded you.

@aliciav63

3 жыл бұрын

QW … It will get better You must watch this type of content If you can as the other person replied get help If its not possible just keep watching this content so you dont lose perspective and revert back into contact and the hoover … Im in the same place I ruminate even now after months of being discarded for the 3 rd time in 3 yrs … Its bewildering I didnt even know how to define it!!! I had no idea it was called “ narcissism” I couldn’t work eat sleep nothingggg I understand 💔💔💔 But it gets better if you follow the advice of the experts …

@saramohamed-qo2ic

3 жыл бұрын

That is me

@delvinalozano7427

2 жыл бұрын

Please consider EMDR. PLEASE

@breann3625

2 жыл бұрын

You have to realize how bad a spirit that person had connected to them. Pray for them. Pray for yourself and slowly move forward. I hope your further along the road and don’t have anything/anyone connecting you to that person

I saw my ex from 3 1/2 yrs back who discarded me on Christmas day a few months at my local pub. I just ignored her but could see through the side of my eye the look on her face of shock. Don't know how to explain it but it felt good. I was broken for a long time but bounced back stronger than before I was with her.

@annacarter8703

Жыл бұрын

Good for you stay strong

They will never get over you ever because in order to move on you have to internalize your emotions and think about your relationship and your life The narcissist cannot do that so as far as their concerned it could be 10 years ago they broke up with you yesterday they will never let go no matter how much it looks like they left and they moved on to them you're just a huge painful memory if you left them before the discard

@TheFyneazz1

Жыл бұрын

Facts

@craigy691

9 ай бұрын

My wife was discarding me and said one day I’m not happy I said oh ok she had done this before in the last 10 months I told her this is the 3rd time you’ve done this to me I’ve had enough she said what!! I said I’m getting me gear and moving out she burst out crying I said what you crying for you want this she said I didn’t want you moving out so quick haha then she turned round and said we can be good friends I said noo friends don’t treat there friends like this I’ve went no contact

I do believe - there are certain people - who are drawn to narcissism - bc it’s “ so familiar “...

@Angelxbaby88

3 жыл бұрын

They are so convincing. Very sad

@ohhkayy8775

3 жыл бұрын

That's their "normal".... If you grew up with caregivers who were dismissive or narcissist then that's what you're attracted too. That is your "normal"

@Angelxbaby88

3 жыл бұрын

@nero zero Pray for someone who knows how to Love. Someone who has emotions.

@LittleCarol

3 жыл бұрын

@nero zero Maybe treat this like you would an addiction...You can learn to live without these sort of people who clutter up your life with their drama. You are worth more than this. Try some daily affirmations. Love yourself more and keep yourself away from them, you will learn how much more self reliant you really are. Enjoy the peaceful life. xx

@elleeme9451

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed

He was already with other woman, got her pregnant and was promissing the world to me... All narcs have a plan for their victims.

@KatWoodland

2 жыл бұрын

They are not that smart actually. They just need supply from everyone. They are masters of manipulation, however.

@anishgomis1793

2 жыл бұрын

@@KatWoodland True...they dont love no one.

@sharenee7428

2 жыл бұрын

Mine was secretly planning trips to Colombia and paying the women to have sex with him. My daughter discovered his secret by using her fathers iPad and gave it to me saying “ dad is not who you think he is” once he found out our daughter discovered his secrets he acted like he hated her too and blamed her for being in our business. Mind you that’s our daughter! We have both now blocked his azz!

I think the hardest part of this for me is realizing that while I was married to him for 32 years, and I was having his children, and we were watching our family grow, and while our children started their families, and were having all of our granchildren, he was doing these same things with other women too. There's no telling how many children he has. Or, how many grandchildren too. And, to him, everyone is just objects. This is insane.

@Wizalicia

Жыл бұрын

Omg I’m so sorry 😢 big hug

@samia6888

Жыл бұрын

Very sorry, I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this is. I pray he gets everything that’s coming to him.

Exactly I missed the life I had ,I missed the man I thought loved me ,I missed my home my things When I left I packed a suitcase and left everything else behind I left so I could reclaim my life my happiness

@annacarter8703

Жыл бұрын

Your life is important you can always get those things back. Blessings to you

I’m still in a limbo with it all nearly a year now and I’m still struggling taking all this in

@msharic85

3 жыл бұрын

Same 😔

Do you think that the cluster b loves themselves? Right. So how do you think they could ever love you. Everything that is good in you is endless, so nothing can be stolen from you. Go be the Phoenix. Change, learn, grow, embrace the hard, you can do it. Know your/you're love.

@jessoftherocks

3 жыл бұрын

In reality they hate themselves inside, and if you can get them to admit that..wow. took exposing her in court to get it.

He cheated on me and even though I missed him for a few months I knew i was done with him forever 😏 18 months later and I still get the odd email from him with abuse but I just don't respond. He's with her so its her problem now lol

@samco63

3 жыл бұрын

Good on you for staying away. And for not responding.That takes real growth and strength. It’s incomprehensible how they can cheat on us and yet get angry and abuse us... for finding out. I’m learning so much about how they learn. Its so hard to wrap my head around!

@frankbujans5901

3 жыл бұрын

There was a lot of effort and work and intricate webs of deceit and lies and an emotional roller coaster the left you exhausted all the time all that work into destroying a person training them rebuilding them into what the narcissist wanted you to be it's no wonder it's so difficult for him to let go even if you did move on you're not supposed to according to him you're supposed to stay there and suffer they hate it when you move on and you're happy

@karlataylor1172

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣👋boy.....bye!

His new supply dumped him after 8 weeks but he has reeled her back in, I can’t judge her I stayed 18 years with the monster

@mrp8173

3 жыл бұрын

26 yrs

@detjaggillar8081

3 жыл бұрын

12 years - but I left so he is hoovering for now. Edit: I get angry so for now since a week ago I get NC!

@lanadeltorro7663

3 жыл бұрын

💔

@theresaoriordan5061

3 жыл бұрын

I stayed for 35 years. I didn't know what narcissm was until I watched KZread. It was then that I joined all of the dots & put all of the puzzle together. It then all made sense. I am going through moments of intense anger that I gave this monster all of those years!!

@frankbujans5901

3 жыл бұрын

The classic Hoover I got hoovered many times only to have to pay the price for leaving in the first place that's the only reason why my ex-wife ever tried to get me to come backit was always about finding some way to one up me or finding some way to hurt me until finally one day I realized don't go back it's never going to get better you just have to move on and I am truly sorry you did that for 18 years I only did it for five and it was brutal

This is deeply healing. Thank you for the insight and for providing the closure one could never get from the narc.

Lol... you're so right... never thought I'll have a "degree in narcissism".. Going on / watching on.. it's not so funny anymore

It does not matter if HE is finished with me. I am finished with him. Talked me into helping him furnish his new apartment even though, I did not want to become involved again. Years later, I learn that he had been effing the landlord's girlfriend. Then, I remembered that he had "friends" from "work" that he was socializing with so that I could not go visit him when I wanted to. It all made sense. NEVER again. NEVER EVER will I be manipulated again.

My exnarc NEVER talked about his past escapades. Ours was so brief yet the damage is still here 2 plus years later.

@peacefaith560

3 жыл бұрын

mine either, I didn't even notice that, he never talked about his past relationships and he lied about 2 of his 3 baby mamas, and his new supply wasnt new she was an old supply who lived next door to him, I wasnt surprise because I dont put anything past a man, so I had a new supply on the side as well

I was devastated and heartbroken over a whole fake ass fraud. That being realized, now I feel embarrassed ontop of the betrayalS, miserable 12 years and diabolical discard. However, I have the freedom to move on to a true relationship with a REAL man in peace and happiness. It's all about the comeback 🥰

Ex narc would constantly talk about his ex wife who he divorced 20 years ago. He still kept her photo albums in his sideboard in the living room. He took me out once it was a date of all the houses his ex wife had refused to live in. He was constantly talking about how much he hated her intercepted with taking me to their previous romantic haunts and life plans. Now he’s probably talking about me how much he hates me and prob taking new supply to all our old haunts

@staceykessler5702

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like we have the same ex. Mine did the same.

@beefield1765

3 жыл бұрын

@@staceykessler5702 Stacey hi ! I’m sorry you experienced such cruel behavior. I believe this is a pattern which they consistently follow. I bet they talk about us similarly now we’re gone. I can see and hear it now, he probably has added my photo to the sideboard, in the next decade there will be several more. I read they enjoy keeping old exes photos and occasionally gifts as trophies rather like serial killers. I said to him” you still love her it’s been 20 years divorced. Why are you talking about her to me? “ . His reply “ you even look like her” I don’t she’s 5ft 1 and curvy I’m 5”8 and slim. This comment he made should have come with sinister eerie background music

@amandatarkington6877

2 жыл бұрын

Mine took the new supply to our old haunts too! Crazy! Too bad she doesn't know!

@TheFyneazz1

Жыл бұрын

@@amandatarkington6877 mines too

I just realized a bit of information I can pass on, sort of a thermometer in the turkey of narcissism. notice the flip when they start speaking about the ex immediately proceeding you. notice when they start to speak positively of that person...that means you're in full-blown devaluation mode and you need to get your duckies arranged.

@The_authentic_queen_

2 жыл бұрын

YES!

@KatWoodland

2 жыл бұрын

OMG I was accused of saying and doing things HE had told me SHE did to him. For example, she said to him during their divorce, “I will destroy you!” Next thing I know, during yet another pointless argument, in an endless loop, he sneered, “You can’t destroy me! It’s I who will destroy you.!” Weirdo.

My son's mother has been married for over 5 years and she still look for every opportunity to contact me and fight with me. I keep telling her I want nothing to do with her outside of communication with/ about my son, so she uses that as a reason to start conflict with me and then blame drama on me (??????). She will not accept the fact there is no need for communication since the court order states the terms of which I can see my son, but she always finds a reason to try to communicate with me. Then she tells me to "get over it" (her moving on and marrying) and I'm left clueless about what I need to get over since I WANT her out of my life; she just won't leave....

@chrisanderson3875

3 жыл бұрын

I feel I bro same thing here man fighting for them shows she still cares lol even after being 🍆 down by multiple dudes stay strong bro someone who loves u works things out someone who self centered runs.

@hermanlucas8669

3 жыл бұрын

i feel you man i pray you find peace somehow when you feel that way yes the chemical bond is broken..thank God indeed

@wilfridjoseph6172

2 жыл бұрын

Lol these are crazy ppl

@One1Luv

2 жыл бұрын

Matt; What she is doing ….. is projecting. SHE is telling you to do, what she “cannot” do ….. GET OVER IT. Because of her insecurities, and trauma, and inability to seek the professional help that she desperately needs, she will never get through or over her trauma from the past (childhood). She is projecting this ….. unto you. And because you are “able” to successfully move on, it triggers and makes her angry, causing her to contact you ….. and cause drama (discord in your life). Because you are SUCCESSFULLY moving on. The way to defeat this (since you are co-parenting) …… is to use LOVE ❤️ HEAR ME OUT!! I have done this, and it is 100% Effective. when she call’s, you become sweet. NOT weird …. Just kind. Even if you have to roll your eyes. And when she begins to start the accusations …… you “IGNORE” them! And then, as if you were flirting with her …. Accuse her of calling you, because she “still” WANTS you. No matter what she says thereafter, simply say ….. “You know you still love ❤️ Me!” And NOTHING more. It will completely shut her DOWN. If she denies, or brings up her husband ….. “Girl …. You know you love Me!” But don’t be surprised, if she admits to it. I can’t help you there, but to say …. Don’t open those can of worms. My narc wanted to move in with me. I got a response for any tricky situation as well: “I need to Pray 🙏 and ask God about that.” I don’t like lying, so I didn’t actually ask God …. So when he would ask me about moving in again, I would tell him I hadn’t prayed about it yet. I hope all is going well for you!

@KatWoodland

2 жыл бұрын

Matt do what you can to not be in communication with her . . . verbally. Make her communicate via text message. Just a recommendation. OR if on the phone, say “I refuse to be spoken like this, and I need to hang up.” Then hang up

It's not that they come back to save us after a cycle of abuse...no no no, they give you the false impression that your love has enabled some feelings to surface in them, so you start hoping maybe you can save them....but you cant!

This how my ex narcissist acted leaves me confused wondering where I stand he discarded me and I discarded him on newyears. Then he messaged last week saying he definitely hasn’t forgot me he just can’t.

I finally left him after so many future faking he promised me and the disrespect get worse every time you accept them back I tried so many attempts to leave him over 3 years he comes back begging fake apologies and he’s broke all the time even if he gets money he will share abit of it with me to give me false security but will never spoil me I have finally done it I feel good and at peace I do believe I was the best supply he ever had because I was literally kissing his arss 24/7 and made him feel like he was a king and I made him feel so good constantly praising him untill I woke up and realised my worth I was in love with someone that doesn’t exist

I now understand that I am drawn to them and they are drawn to me. I've been a serial monogamist my entire adult life...Im going to stay single by choice for the remainder. Goso. You Go when you know.

@anushilantalks

3 жыл бұрын

I would have loved to know you and see if it can work out because I am familiar with your situation.

This is soooo good! Thank you for being a light to those of who have been in darkness

The thought of them coming back has slowed my healing a lot. Makes it harder to let go. It’s been two years now. I feel the need to stay at the ready. It doesn’t allow me to release it.

I really like your videos! More than focusing on behaviour of narcissists you focus on the psychology of why are the viewers searching answers of their questions. Your videos actually help many viewers. All the best! ❤️ Keep making such fab videos.

So informative. This information has been so helpful in breaking away. This describes every thing I went through or feeling now. Now I know why. Thank you

You'll always will remember the person who causes you pain. You need to learn to love yourself more than the narcissist. My sociopath is on an ankle monitor. I am afraid once it's removed that he will come looking for me. He already has someone new out of state, never met. She already opened a bank acct for him. Only know each other for 2 1/2 months. He causes me stress and pain in my stomach.

@LittleCarol

3 жыл бұрын

Hi, please don't worry, you have come such a long way to realise he is the one still causing the stress and pain in your stomach. The longer he is on an a 'tag' the more time you will have to prepare for any time in the future. I am sure that Anoushka did a video about what the narcissistic abuse can do to your health. It seems you are already are coping better than you think. Self love is very important, if you are concerned for your personal safety why not give Anoushka a call or e-mail, you might be able to work on a plan of how to prepare for outcomes? I think you would benefit from having a strategy to cope before he is free to move around. Always be sure there are others who understand how you feel. I'm sending you some caring and healing thoughts from across the pond xx

@nathancarter8127

3 жыл бұрын

I think narcissists should be on ankle monitors

@limitlesspossibilities444

3 жыл бұрын

my ex narc disappeared for 3 days ruining xmas for the kids the day his ankle monitor came off...then denied any accountability

@limitlesspossibilities444

3 жыл бұрын

@@nathancarter8127 for life to warn everyone

@musicizmygod

3 жыл бұрын

How do you know about their goings-on with this other person?

Amazing. These videos are packed with useful, meaningful and actually applicable info. Every example and scenario she presents hits home...its surreal. Pure quality. Very few channels like this. Thank you

Amazing video. The insight is like a healing balm. Really shifting my mindset. Feels good to be understood.

This is why goso get out stay out, and stop the emotional thinking 🤔,you must learn to let go of people that don't serve you, there toxic no good.

@thekrrib

3 жыл бұрын

Its tough. I haven't seen/talked to him for 18 months yet, I still miss him 😕😔

@garycordle5295

3 жыл бұрын

@@thekrrib if you still miss him,thank of all the bad things,gas lighting you, future faking, devalue, lying to you, being mean to you,let go of people that don't serve you and it will open doors for positive people,hang in there your on the right track,you don't want to be setting out there in the appliance junkyard,you have came this far 👍 up your doing great.

@emmaharper860

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely💯

This video completely spoke to me! This is everything I’m going through and struggling with right now! Even though I understand it all in my brain, it feels impossible to let go. It’s so very painful going through this . He’s so highly manipulative that he offers me things that I want so bad that I know I couldn’t find in someone else . I’m living in 2 worlds. One where I’m highly aware of all his manipulations and his hooks, and the other where I just want to be with him anyway. What do I do with that?

@primalway1317

3 жыл бұрын

Im in the exact same boat...just hurting...Im not sure what to do other than be still and remember the bad..

@praisemccole5795

3 жыл бұрын

You pinpointed the situation I'm in right now

@lesliesmart4595

3 жыл бұрын

Run as fast you can. Thank God I didn't date him. They play off our vulnerabilities.

@shaniecegullison

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly me right now Thank you for explaining what I am going through so well

@tracyross5831

Жыл бұрын

You're STILL Healing 👍👍👍. Don't give them WHAT THEY WANT....... YOU!!!!!! 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞❤️

Omg she’s so on point. This is exactly how I feel, felt and all!

I know the narc hasn't moved on because it's 12 months no contact and he tried to let me know who he's talking to by getting that person to contact me using social media. LOL did I ask ... or go looking to see what hes up to ?! No. I blocked him straight away. He just wants to get a reaction and feel important, it put me right off, he just seems like a little child now.

This had been very enlightening. Thank you so much!!

You are so spot on. I don't have to wonder if my narssitic ex wife moved on. Divorced her lying, cheating, thieving carcous after 16 years. Two months later at 60 years old the 40 year old men she took up with let her party nonstop, which got her arrested for DWI, two felony counts of illegal narcotics, 1 felony illegal firearm, my pistol she walked off with. Lucky as usual, sentenced to 5 years probation. Violated every rule, probation revoked as of last week, bond denied, held over for trial 2/9 probably will spend the next year and a half in prison. Karma does work.

@ahmadkhorshed

2 жыл бұрын

Lucky you

Long story short - it's not your business. Focus on yourself and your health

This is very true, fantastically helpful

You have just answered what’s going on in my life , I can’t get my head around never getting any truth or apology, after 33 years together. Thank you 🙏

@peggynarcsuvivor9073

2 жыл бұрын

I had 45yrs

@YS-oy5gu

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you have moved on and found happiness 🙏🥰

@peggynarcsuvivor9073

2 жыл бұрын

@@YS-oy5gu still waiting for final divorce n in same home over three years soon freedom can't wait.

@YS-oy5gu

2 жыл бұрын

@@peggynarcsuvivor9073 Wishing you a happy future ahead, I walked away a year ago. I’m finally figuring out.

@YS-oy5gu

Жыл бұрын

@@jowoods7015 it gets easier I promise you 🙏

Your work is brilliant and compelling and your beauty is quite captivating... Thank you!

Wow so,insightful it's exactly what's on,my mind everything you said resonates with me thank you!

This is probably the best video on KZread for explaining discard/new supply ratio of information. Hang tight everyone.

Thanks so much for this insight!! Explains what im going through, like being stuck in limbo.

Thanks to videos like yours and others who have first hand experience and knowledge of this disorder. I'm moving right along, as well as many others I'm hoping and praying for. Hang in there survivors it hurts a lot. But give yourself time. Go through the emotions, pray, Seek the Lord and keep watching content like this and you will be ok. Seriously, it all to shall pass. In the Name of Jesus Christ. God bless and Happy Holidays.

@garciamckenzie-ewing7570

2 жыл бұрын

Amen!! Thank you!!!

@garciamckenzie-ewing7570

2 жыл бұрын

He hurt me so bad my God!! Please keep me in your prayers.

@freeyourselfoftoxicity

2 жыл бұрын

@@garciamckenzie-ewing7570 Will do, hang in there. Change your routine, get outside and do things differently and be with people who truly care for you and will give you support and advise you need, not what you want to hear, but ehat you need to hear and do. You'll be ok, trust me go through the process. Be safe, take care of yourself, pray and trust the Lord. God bless you and take care.

I actually woke up and see what my narcissist/ex fiance did to manipulate me for her benefit. The fact that she turned on a dime and became a completely different person. It drove her crazy that I wouldn't act like a raging lunatic, but I loved her or the person she pretended to be. Now I realize I lost myself for someone who wasn't even real and I miss me and everything I sacrificed to make her happy. I feel sorry for her but will never let her back in my life!

@shawnstewart4039

Жыл бұрын

My exact feelings. It’s mind boggling how so many people go through the same exact thing.

You know these people well!!

Yes it helped from your explanation. Thank you.

I could be wrong but what I've learned - they don't even try to come back ever, if they discard YOU!

@Ishtar2419

2 жыл бұрын

Not in my case, he never leaves me alone but doesn't want to get back together. Just to make sure I'm still suffering

I was grieving my dignity and my integrity after so much abuse. One year after the discard and I'm still picking up the pieces. I understand now that she defeated me, I didn't see it coming, and that is ok, a man needs to accept the defeat and rebuild himself again. Grow even better than before meeting her.

I was told multiple times that she was a narcissist. Payed no mind for years later. She broke up with me thru a text. Ghosted me for two weeks before she gave me the text. I learned that the cycle had been happening for the entire time.. over 6 years. My mind is stuck on why. I'm beginning to understand and accept that I will not get any of the answers I am seeking. It sucks. It hurts. And I sit here waiting for the cycle to restart. The last few comments in this video gave me a better perspective. Talking about moving on, not in regard to being involved with someone else. Being able to move on from the situation. I have to ask myself this question every day until I can answer it with yes. Only an idiot like me would welcome more of the hell I've seen from someone that I care deeply for.

Great video, Thanks 👍

You have help so much thanks.

Good one❤its really goid to come over this stage... 30 exes🥵i remeber the pain...never more❤thank you🙏🏼

I will never care anymore...my eyes are opened..I used to be disturbed by the behaviour of my ex ..going back to his exes,the cycle goes on..feeling pity on himself,the list is endless..

Perhaps the best way for us narc survivors is to date each other ??!! Any thoughts on this? Coz its really scary to even think of trusting someone...

@colorado1love4life55

3 жыл бұрын

🤗

@wendylake4311

3 жыл бұрын

That’s a great idea

@ES-hy2wi

3 жыл бұрын

Yes true

@sahilbedi7511

3 жыл бұрын

@@ES-hy2wi how can we do it then?

@o.lazarusfernandes5954

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah. So many of us here waiting to fill the void after the rejection just hoping, seeking and willing.

Dam she on point i became a dam docter in 5 years with no history in the field lol ...it was a long drawn out deal but i was blessed with great compassion and temperance it was a hell of a ride ..But what if i wasnt so strong or had will power .Dangerous game..

You are so right 👍 I believe you, going through this 😳

Thanks a lot for the video beautiful lady

Thank you.

I love this so much. 🔥🌹😘

Perfect plan!!!

De-valued is the word, I remember her making me feel so down and looked at her and thought, never once does she as if I'm ok, or I don't look happy what's wrong ?. But after watching theses vids, that's the intention ,I was there for her benefit only.

Thank you 🙏🏾

Thanks Anoushka for making this video, it has helped me so much to understand my ex narc. I left him 7 months ago, we were together 9 years, but he keeps trying to come back. I have gone no contact now but I let him back in for a brief time, I have learned my lesson now. I hope one day he will move on because I need to heal from the manipulation, the lies and deception. I have put boundaries in place now.

@jackpetersen7545

2 жыл бұрын

Donna Edwards,You got a lovely smile 😊

10 months of no contact and feeling way stronger 💪

❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏great video !

I'm at the angry phase of leaving her. Not for me. Not for her. I'm angry that so so many people fall victim to these animals.

I love your sweater 😍

Narcissist will move on only if they are mortified . Which means public humiliation by the intimate partner and exposing them. Only Narcissistic injury- getting angry etc will not . They never let it go.

Everytime I visit my son, his dad always calls my son for no reason and then asks my son how I am and how my visit is going..my son has even noticed he does this..a few times he has even turned up at my son's house asking to borrow something but I always go upstairs out of the way so I never see him..its be over 20 years since we divorced..I never knew he was a narc until after I got married again to another narc...

One interesting thing you sad clarifies for me that even though I was horribly discarded at the very end he said but you can stay as long as you want which was mine bending due to the way I was being treated but now I understand it is because he always wanted to come back to be able to say but I told you you could stay which he has already done

@jmschroeder5302

3 жыл бұрын

Mine oddly said “the door is always open” the last time I saw him (before I went NC as a pre-empt to what I felt was a discard about to happen). I thought it was strange because we were in a relationship at the time, so I never questioned the door “being open”. Now I know for sure: he was planning to discard, but knew himself and that he would be circling back to me some day.

@Bo00si33

3 жыл бұрын

HE SAID TO ME..."IM DONE WITH U BUT U CAN STAY" so I pressed 10 charges and he's going to jail next month. And he still violating the order! When will he give up! 😂😂😂😂

@peggygearhart6716

2 жыл бұрын

@Mickey so true

@peggygearhart6716

2 жыл бұрын

Good riddence lotsa lessons learned

He has new supply But he hasn't changed. Although he does seem happy. Who knows. Hes blocked and So is his new supply.

@mimimimi6808

Жыл бұрын

How does the new supply contact you?

@judithwilliams3147

Жыл бұрын

She doesn't. The last thing he wants is for me to talk to her. I just blocked her because we have mutual friends and I didn't want to see her popping up on my Facebook

Another indication that they haven't 'moved on' is when they are sadistic about it. For example, going out of their way to engage in anything that they can find, that they know is a difficulty for you. You name it, they will proceed to devote themselves to exactly such things: Allergic to strawberries?, Fear of heights? Not into Yoga? Don't love Reggae music? etc, they are magically devoted to such things! In other words, being sadistic is NOT moving on.

I’m new to your channel and was wondering if you can do a video on why they refuse to file for a divorce even though they have moved in the new supply and taken everything from you including the kids etc. I’m bewildered by this. I’m darn sure never going to deal with them again so it’s crazy to me. The sad part is when you’ve been married to a covert narcissist for almost 30 years by the time you do leave your suffering with mental, physical, spiritual, and financial devastation. So although your not in the relationship everything that relationship was is still in you. One this is for sure....if it takes several years of scrapping pennies I will divorce him.

This is so true

Sh*t Anoushka, you hit me spot on

The narc went on vacation and i felt great.

They always comeback if they need something specific that's a fact they are evil person, they can ruin your life for real the only solution is to block them and move on your life and close that chapter like they never existed they will drain your soul, your energy, all the light you have they will leave you in darkness ... BLOC THEM AND MOVE ON THAT'S IT

best thing to do Run Forest Run & dont return

I'm looking for a loving empath like myself age 30 to 36 female

I referred to my ex narcissists as ex collectors

@Tony-dh

3 жыл бұрын

A straggle of broken hearts behind them.

helpful - thanks

Big facts 💯

What's so strange about him is he goes around flirting with all these woman and tries to talk to alot of people but they seem to see through him and don't like having a conversation with him. All these people can't stand him and sense his negativity. I know him different then what I hear from others and it's hard to believe that he is such a person. I don't understand why I didn't see through him like other do. He hasn't talked to me for almost a year now and I feel trapped in a web that I can't break free from. He asks about me all the time to people that we both know.

Anoushka, thank you for such informative information. Can you please tell me what music is playing at the start of the videos, I think it would help me study?

I'm not curious at all, I want Him Gone!

Thankyou

It's best not to think about that. Forget about them. They arent worth the energy. Theyll ruin that relationship too.

We get a dopamine rush but does the narcissist as well? Awesome channel 🙏🏼

I can feel it

number 1 sign....they will try to hoover you back in. don't talk to them or engage them, period.

I want be seeing my narc again. When she hoovered me I said I saw your mask slip jezabel. Conversation ended .

I don’t think the narcisst has moved on since they were two. They seem totally ‘frozen’. Brilliant conmentary. Totally relevant for family cults and acquaintances/ ‘friends’ etc