Every second you spend thinking about the next moment you avoid embracing the present. Ensure that your life is not spent living in your head. Learn new ways of moving past this situation www.askanoushka.co.uk/membership

@leslielearnorth

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks

@queenie547

Жыл бұрын

Am I the Narcicisst? I have been in contact with a guy almost 6 months..in an online dating site, one of his requirement is that we should be more intimate while in LDR, so we can gauge the relationship being comfortable with each other and also to take it to the next level... but I cannot do anything intimate... He told me, that we tried it 7 times, and for him its like we are in a yo-yo effect, I know it was my fault that I tried to cut my conttact with him, he used to tell me that his just there for me, he is being very nice... Then finally, a month after we really have no contact, his relationship status is already partnered with a woman whom he also met online but were able to meet in personal... He told me that for him, I can'r get over my mental blocks and his new relationship is effortless full at ease and laughter... I felt so hurt, cause I tried my best, and everytime I'm just confused because we keep communicating, and he would tell me nice things like he was always going to be there...

@queenie547

Жыл бұрын

I finally deleted my messenger, and its been weeks

@sanny78622

11 ай бұрын

You know I kept thinking about this from the energetic perspective once they realise they can't get more from you, they discard you in a way that would leave you so thrown off and without closure, that you will spend your time thinking about them, trying to get back the pieces you have lost to them and understand what happened, but until you do and bring you energy back to yourself, they are still getting everything they need from you - and without all the fuss of actually having to be in a relationship with you. I suspect that once the feel they the energy is no longer flowing from them to you, they sense it and are likely to reach out at that point. I know it sounds woo woo, but there is a ton of anecdotal evidence that coincides with this perfectly. I don't think they are doing it consciously, they just feel it. It's a form of vampirisim when I come to think of it, only difference they don't have teeth, but they feed of other people.

The actual final discard is up to us. It is a spiritual soul tie and once the tie is broken there is no longer any type of real "attachment" disordered or not. Pray to God to break the soul tie.

@kellyleighread807

3 жыл бұрын

The ex husband was repeating what the new supply told him. He left with out asking me. Married 36 year's he told me that he was intitled to do whatever he wants. I was anger. I was trying to help him pack. He told me that he didn't care about anything that I had given him. He now lives with the new supply. His is a addiction to pornography. He thinks woman is to serve. Like a dog chained up in the yard. Which he thought was good. He smiled and said " It's not as bad as the last one". 🤢 Sick.

@brendakauffman2222

3 жыл бұрын

Yes there is a spiritual soul tie that needs to be broken to be free from you.

@rodrigo100kk

3 жыл бұрын

Very well said.

@Shut-up-Shelly

3 жыл бұрын

Amen prayer to God using and constantly rebuking them in Jesus name is the only way to be delivered from these demonic people!! Very true!!

@talypo

3 жыл бұрын

I agree. When I told her she never had to worry about hearing from me again, I meant it. Full no contact. It's been 3 months now. She was so shocked she did not even say anything when I said it. She has all of her ex lovers in her contact list except me. That's it for me. I can never contact her or her contact me. Done, done💯💯. I did not start with the videos until after the last discard. I was feeling like something was wrong with me. Then I realized she is still accepting my phone calls and being quite cordial. But I decided no more. I realized she was gonna try and use my inability to leave her alone to hoover me back in once she was ready. But she never expected me to go full no contact in a way that she would never have access to me again.

The final discard is when you finally love yourself enough and YOU finally call it. It’s not them who do it, it you who says “this game is over, good bye “.

@oilselevated4808

2 жыл бұрын

This is the best comment I’ve ever read, so true! After 30 painful years, and humiliation with his piece of trash, on the side, I’m finally done and free!

@maribl4615

2 жыл бұрын

I was hoovered twice and the last denigrating thing he said, did it for me. I took the suggestion to have NO Contract in all my social media. It’s been almost 3 months and I feel so much better. Educating myself with so many good books and doing a lot of journaling have walked me through the sadness and pain. I don’t care that there was no closure. My shutting the door is closure enough. Narcs are malignant parasites.

@ruthdeliah2

Жыл бұрын

Amen!

@sdshawn798

Жыл бұрын

Narcs: The most vile, pathetic, despicable beings on the planet. The world would be so much better off without these parasites.

@splinterinmyfinger1256

Жыл бұрын

Everybody has a right to be loved even those unlucky enough to have the condition.

I was utterly shocked how he came back like nothing had happened. I sealed that door fast..

@ggurrlyggurrl

3 жыл бұрын

My god me too. I was like are you kidding me

@James-jx3ro

3 жыл бұрын

My ex wife did the same. And to my sister as if she had forgotten she destroyed our family by cheating. WTF!

@jsmorefield

3 жыл бұрын

My narc lied lied lied when she discarded for someone else. She acted like I was the devil but within less than a month, she was calling like nothing had happened. She never accepted responsibility or apologized for what she had said or done. I went “no contact” for my sanity.

@Alibrose

3 жыл бұрын

I can relate

@TMA2NC

3 жыл бұрын

Creepy, right?!

They will verbally abuse you, emotionally manipulate you and they will behave as if nothing happened.

@r47282

2 жыл бұрын

right on point

The worst part is when things are going ok, then they always let themselves and partner down by doing something out of order and your still left in disbelief. No matter how wrong the are, they will still turn the blame and twist.

@r47282

2 жыл бұрын

yes!!! it's very upsetting. they treat you like you aren't worth anything. they try to shame you make you feel guilty for what THEY did. they are pure evil. don't ever let a narcissist make you feel like you aren't worth anything. YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

@Rachel-iSverige

Жыл бұрын

That's always when it happens. When we've had a lovely time together. Once life with them starts feeling normal and safe, they pull the plug

@SarahSmith-ym9ri

Жыл бұрын

@Rachel yes. Still a horrible feeling even although your still able to predict the cycle.

I was ghosted after 10 months, no explanation, no contact. We never developed a trauma bond, it was all golden until he abandoned me completely. I cannot tell you how difficult it is for me to process this. The ghosting was bad enough until I understood that the person I was dealing with didn't even exist. The relationship, the love that I totally believed in never existed. It's been over 2 months now since he left. I have good days and bad days, mostly bad. I threw out everything in the house that had anything to do with him, but it's so hard. Everything reminds me of him, I miss him and I hate him. I'm devastated.

@btfields323

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like me

@lavernjackson991

2 жыл бұрын

Thats how I feel too, my narc lovebombed and discarded me after, stating he's gonna have a family issue, I was confused, I said to him what I have to do with his family issue, and just left it like that, I was so drugged and confused from his lovebombing

@ellacutie9380

2 жыл бұрын

Stay strong and stay from him

@sabrimohd6842

2 жыл бұрын

Let me tell u smth the world wil punish its jus a matter of time

@seni9894

2 жыл бұрын

Hey how are you doing now?

It's more like shelving. When you served your purpose they put you away like an object, and when they deem it appropriate they'll come and pick you up again. Remember, a relationship never ends for a narcissist. They'll always be back at some point unless you go full no contact.

@freetofly9399

3 жыл бұрын

They are so sick

@TheMar0115

3 жыл бұрын

Yes no contact and if you expose them

@gracescicluna1182

3 жыл бұрын

you nailed it

@msliberated3899

2 жыл бұрын

Spot on

@ezdeezytube

Жыл бұрын

I publicly exposed my cheating narc ex. Now she is too scared to see me. Tough problems require tough solutions.

This was spot on! You nailed it. My ex-husband "discarded" me for property. In other words, like property, I was sold. It's terrible, awful. I just don't get it. I guess that is the problem. We were married for twenty years and he got everything he wanted. An acquaintance of mine said this to me a long time ago. I'll never forget it: ""Do you know what your problem is, Sue? You're too nice. Don't you know that there are predators out there just waiting for people like you ? They'll make their way into your home, like the soul-sucking vermin they are. You have something they want. If you give them just one small gift, you passed the test and they'll continue to test you. They''ll gnaw and nibble away at you until you feel like your soul is void. And then finally, when they find your taste to be bitter, they'll simply spit you out. This leaves them free to find someone, not unlike yourself, but who tastes sweet to their palate. Just as sweet as you once were before they left you with nothing." I must have been daydreaming that day. Perhaps about the narcissist who I had just recently allowed into my life.

@danex2206

3 жыл бұрын

That was quite an acquiantance you got there ...

It may not have been real to them. But it was REAL to me. No contact. ENOUGH!

He called me from the airport (after we both I thought had left for work that morning) and said he was going to Thailand! He was gone for two months leaving me having to work, pay the bills and mortgage...He then got straight off the plane when he arrived back and turned up at the doorstep waking me up at 5am to show me he'd tattooed my name on his arm, and he was moving back in - like nothing had happened..I was shocked and didn't want him back but to him it wasn't an option he was back..I finally escaped a year later...we are divorced now thank goodness..

@noone6454

Жыл бұрын

Woah

Its not a discard, its a disengagement...till they come back and they always do !

@faceofglam

2 жыл бұрын

Always

@deborahday1786

2 жыл бұрын

Facts!

This is so true but also hard for a normal person to understand at all. It is so abnormal and strange. And let’s be honest crap for everyone around them. So wishing I could turn back the clock. These people are so damaged and cause a So much destruction

@TheRonaldbaxter

3 жыл бұрын

They do cause damage Took me three years to work it out. The positive side is that you can learn a lot about yourself and emerge as a stronger person. However, I have had a light brush with a covert narc. I very much sympathise with those who have ended up in long relationships or marriages.

@freetofly9399

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheRonaldbaxter took me 3 to 4 years also to work out and that was me bad enough. Am glad was not married. Wld be harder to get over but yes we learn a lot about ourselves that is for sure.

@lyndiamims898

3 жыл бұрын

This is not a pleasant experience, I was able to keep prayerful.. The still voice and guidance...AMEN

You are telling the truth, I was discarded by a narcissist and after about a year he start calling me being so nice to me. He was saying he wonders how it would have been if we would have stayed together, I think about you all the time, " he said" I cringed. Of course I ignored that statement and kept it on a friendly basis. Now when he calls I don't answer the phone. So he doesn't call as much "which is great."it's so funny what happens when you start to move on with your life it's as if they know you're actually becoming happy and peaceful again.

Oh my goodness you have described my ex perfectly. I’m completing my first year without him. You have no idea how much you have helped me through this dark period. Many many thank you’s!

This was actually spooky in its accuracy. We were together for three years and its been another three since she discarded me for the “final” time. She has started checking on me periodically by text message over the last few months, but has made no overt attempt to reconcile. Meanwhile, I’m busy living the dream of a single guy: working during the week and either motorcycle riding or boating on the weekends, primarily with my male friends. I don’t want her back, but I will admit that it would help make up for the pain I went through if she would at least try. 🤷‍♂️

@adriancamacho138

Жыл бұрын

Don't do it. Stay strong. Just remember that we are only objects and they can not connect on a real level. And the same that happened last time will happen again.

My narcissist left after 18 years , just walked out fast forward two and a half years I meet a beautiful woman in my overseas travels we are very happy with each other a beautiful caring human being About 8 weeks ago I ran into her going into the shop on a Friday evening I stopped the car gave her a wave,she had a meltdown on the footpath no contact for 2years not happy Last night I saw a mutual friend after a AA meeting said she is totally depressed and talking suicide constantly and how much she hates me,,she left me as you described in a to hard to handle state didn't know how to repair the situation I feel sorry for her but I have no interest in that way of life again

In the beginning I fell in love with her, in the end I fell in love with the nothingness of the disengagement.

@BLITZY261

3 жыл бұрын

I fell in love with silence in a cafe 6 miles away with a banana milkshake in my hand, a plate with a cake, GHOSTED by THE CRUE playing continuously on Spotify(check the lyrics out) and the narcissist nowhere to be seen....peace at last.

@conqururfear

3 жыл бұрын

E too

@supersarah5673

3 жыл бұрын

@@BLITZY261 sounds like bliss. you really painted a good picture there

@artmeacademywiththesaltyse9537

3 жыл бұрын

Conversely, in the end I managed to fall in love with me. There was nothing left to give her. Hope we all heal, great video.

@conqururfear

3 жыл бұрын

@@artmeacademywiththesaltyse9537 My story could truly be a motion picture12 years together she ghosted me August 1, and his most horrific experience I’ve ever endured I knew when she left it was not normal the way she left about a month after that I learned the term covert narcissism

Been over 2 years, dumped me over the phone on a holiday and moved counties with another guy that week. Haven’t heard from her since I’d say it’s permanent

Thank you, very informative video. The more I learn about narcissists the more I realise i didn’t do anything wrong. It was him. His discard of me was absolutely brutal. At the time I didn’t realise what he was. Videos like this have helped me enormously. Thank you

@karlashmeedavlasta6365

3 жыл бұрын

People always say: it takes two to Tango. But they're wrong. It takes only one narcissist to ruin your life.

@btfields323

2 жыл бұрын

Pretty makeup

@theonewhoknows2817

2 жыл бұрын

@@karlashmeedavlasta6365 This is the most significant comment on post. And TRUTH. Be well.

@nerylrogers7953

11 ай бұрын

Spot on!! Video is powerful.

A lot of what you say makes sense. But I think it’s more cruel. I don’t think they feel guilty ever or remorse. They hate you when they leave. They get bored and throw you away like trash and they don’t care. And they don’t have close friends. They manipulate everyone. They keep friendships that give them supply and yes, flying monkeys. Everyone works for the narcissist. Your video gives a sense of vulnerability. I don’t feel for them. They are cruel abusive demons and know what they are doing and know they can change and choose not to.

@hazeleyes2381

3 жыл бұрын

You've nailed it!!! Great writing.

@tangelacarter6620

2 жыл бұрын

Perfect!

@gilliandale4854

2 жыл бұрын

I think it depends on where the narc person is "on the spectrum". I know one who does seem to feel sorry after a blow-up but would never admit it.

@TheMar0115

2 жыл бұрын

@@gilliandale4854 there is a spectrum. I’m talking about NPD

@aselyne5631

2 жыл бұрын

That's a fact he literally told he he only picks people he can use in his life

Excellent clarification. I felt like he'd thrown all of his toys out his pram, me included. But he wants me to pick them all up and give them back to him. Jog on, NOT happening.Thank you

@gracescicluna1182

3 жыл бұрын

oh yes and he repeated what i told him. you killed it. they repeat too

The only time I got a reaction from the narcissist was when I called him a parasite

@SadieHartMusic

2 жыл бұрын

BAH! I know it's not funny in real time, but this made me LOL!! I wish I had the balls to say something like this to mine 😂

@mairimillar8866

2 жыл бұрын

They really are parasites, insects.

@splinterinmyfinger1256

Жыл бұрын

@@SadieHartMusic I did it and it was like storm on x men the room and mood went dark

@SadieHartMusic

Жыл бұрын

@@splinterinmyfinger1256 😂😂😂

@splinterinmyfinger1256

Жыл бұрын

@@SadieHartMusic it's ok laughing but I strongly suggest you don't wind them up coz there are consuesces

I'm impressed by the level of understanding that you have about this behavior. Video after video, you're hitting all the points! Thank you.

It’s the first time I saw a video that explained exactly what he was doing to me. I feel so much better. Thanks for all your videos, you’re helping me get through this rough time. ❤️

Thank you so much. Tears of healing are rolling... You make so much sence out of such a nonfunctional, unrealistic, violent, and crazy making experience of having a relationship with a narc. Thank you. Great video. Highly enlightening.

When there’s a disagreement, someone will inevitably, most likely, be disappointed in me... So I engage in any and every disagreement in a way that ensures, that the person disappointed in me, never ends up being me! I aim to never repress, never suppress. I aim to never lose a part of myself. Radical honesty only: 100% of the time. Always, all ways.

I'd add to this that in at least some cases there's a definite maliciousness about it. It's an opportunity to cause pain, exert power and abuse the bewildered partner's emotions. Then they come back, and the partner accepts the resulting power imbalance and perhaps never complains again.

And when they have hurt u enough And the trauma bind has healed believe me, you will not be physically attracted at all I found that hard to believe but very very true I hope anyone going threw it gets peace from God ty🤗💛💯

@stevenkovler5133

Жыл бұрын

I hope this is true. My estranged wife is 14 years younger and I am so attracted to her . I just think she is so gorgeous and sexy, plus brilliant !

I am so glad finally I got the clarification of this whole concept of discard phase.Thank you.

Thank you so much for this explanation. I’ve been so focused on the anger caused by being thrown out like a piece of trash that I lost perspective on the functional aspects of the behavior. Knowing the functional aspects helps me detach my emotions from the situation. Not always the healthiest method of coping but it works in moderation.

You explained my whole relationship perfectly. Thank you for this. I just recently got out of my abusive narcissistic relationship. He was physically abusive as well. Thank you for this.

Simple: they are evil meat suits ! Run!!!

@5:50 that made me lol. ‘You have done the emotional processing for both of us.’ Dying -funny as hell but true !!

My ex whom I believe is a narc told me to move on and not wait for him, I believe he’s seeing someone else who was with him before we got back together last time. He’s always leaving. It’s broken me

@regiz5358

2 жыл бұрын

I truly hope you are doing well! he is a jerk!

@Awarebynature

2 жыл бұрын

@@regiz5358 thank you so much, I am still stuck in the cycle, he made that other girl official and gave her everything he never gave me but strings me along at the same time, I can’t seem to get over him :( hope you’re not in the same boat

@regiz5358

2 жыл бұрын

@@Awarebynature pretty typical watch mental healness

They disengage...it is never a discard... thank you!

@diddlina218

3 жыл бұрын

And some are likely to come back even after years... as if nothing ever happened..be careful and go no contact!!!

@ancamarr681

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! No contact is the key

What a great video! Hit the nail right on the head!! I have had some jaw dropping moments, learning that I am not alone in this craziness and confusion! Thank you so much for this!!

@lavernjackson991

2 жыл бұрын

No you're not

OMG my ex husband did this when he couldn't manipulate and controle me any more! Thank you for this video

This makes total sense now!

The way you explained this makes perfect sense. I’ve done much research on this topic. Watched tons of KZread videos and read numerous scholarly articles about this topic. None have given me this perspective. As I continue to educate myself. I not only grow stronger in knowledge but in my healing. Thank you.

Thank you Anoushka! 🙏🏻

Not mine, he discarded me like a piece of gum he was tired of chewing snd spit me out in a filthy gutter. Within a month he was in bed with his hairdresser and could care less about me even though I literally saved his life during our 22 yr marriage and am raising our 17 yr old son on my own because our son will have nothing to do with his dad. He was a 24/7 dad and left after promising he wouldn’t, then proceeded to try to make our son be ok with what he did because he lost face by doing what he did.

Yes finally ! for 12 years i fought on off on off i hung on thought it was getting better then not then better ect ect.. then it was the death the end i dont want you along w violence .. im gone im healing .. he wants me back “ i never said leave i said you could stay as long as you wanted i just didnt know what i wanted “ now im healing and over it 9 months later he still thinks im his and wants to punch someone in the face cause hes heard im with someone ( im not!!) ugh i want him to just go away

Disengage it’s easier but they are still nasty to make you react xx

This is one of the best explanations for where I'm at with this and what was going on with my particular narc...thank you so much for what you do

Well, this video was timed well. You'll never guess who just now clicked 'like' on one of my posts .. yep .. her. It's been over 3 years.

@janayamak7913

3 жыл бұрын

Whoa so she hovered after 3 years!? 😳

@ebonyjoseph9489

3 жыл бұрын

So Jack what now?

@amberm5626

3 жыл бұрын

@@janayamak7913 I had one hoover after 12 years and another one hoover after over 15 years. They are nuts.

@LifeChangePlans

2 жыл бұрын

@@amberm5626 You had more than one narcissistic relationship! Strange how we can attract these toxic relationships. My ex just abruptly discarded me last September, he went back to an ex girlfriend he lived with for three years, nearly 40 years in his past, I wonder if that is a record for hoovering of supply.

@postcancel3832

2 жыл бұрын

@@LifeChangePlans No... it means he was seeing her behind your back, or at least emotionally cheating on you via communication in a non-physical way... remember there are more than one personality disorder in Cluster B. A lot of these exchanges sound like BPD on the female end, also, 15-30 years then they leave, doesn't always mean Narcissistic Personality Disorder, they could have been wanting to leave for years and then found a way out... A 'Narcissistic Themed' exit strategy, everyone stigmatizes the Cluster B (often for good reason) when they are 'IN FACT' someone with a 'Diagnosis', NPD, BPD, Anti-Social Personality or otherwise, some perfectly fine non-mentally challenged people are just smarter than you think, Narcissists aren't that smart tbh. Just like the situation, things aren't always so simple, nothing is black and white (that's cluster b talk), an 8 minute video should not 'validate' a damn thing, if it does... you're probably mentally or emotionally challenged yourself.

Only if you let them.. I will not!

Very good positive analysis of the relationship phases.

@Calidore1

3 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad you don’t slather your insights with all this last judgement nonsense that so many analysts and commentators do. It’s nothing to do with the battle between God and Satan in which the “empaths” will finally raise their flag in victory over Jezebel’s smouldering palace.....it’s more that they have fallen into bad mental habits and when they meet other people’s bad habits, especially in close relationships, sparks will fly and this will happen repeatedly until they finally learn, until everybody finally learns. I feel unconvinced when people say the narcissist never changes - there are examples of changed personalities everywhere....people like Sam Vaknin and H G Tudor have obviously used their intelligence to modify and completely turn around their behaviour. I don’t think an intelligent person, by which I mean someone able to look at themselves objectively, would want to continue through life as a narcissist.

You are so spot on with the discard stage with a narcissist! I like to stand back and think of myself as not being in a full blown relationship with this narcissist individual, because I wasn't - had a fling, he smear campaigned me to friends and family who I have never met, and thank God too! He comes from a family of narcissists, his Mother is the ringleader and Sister well they are both dysfunctional. I worked this out for myself along time ago! Yes, he keeps tabs on me, and I know about some of his supply as he puts photos on social media to try and destroy me, but I'm not interested in his life and what he is doing. Now, after 5 years out of the blue l have seen him, I know he stalked me in the past and I have seen his flying monkeys 🐒 I can't understand what he wants with me as we were never an item and he never broke my heart 💔 I was the one that got away and saw right through his facade! Now he's come back looking all miserable and angry, even though he's in a relationship with new supply and a family. But here's the crunch, he bi-sexual/gay and his narcissist family know this and they know how it's going to end..no good will come of it! I have seen how he operates and I am probably the only one he"s ever had that is the best 👌. I am a empath that gets over things easily and moves on! 😎😎😎

Great video. You mean my wife is coming back? I need to run now.

I Really appreciate that you talk about them as real people. I have had narcissists in my life. And on some level i do care about them. The encounters I have had with narcissists have given me the oppurtunity to aknowledge aspects of myself, that needed to be looked at.

@stephaniepage7916

2 жыл бұрын

Love your comment because some narcs are in your family siblings and friends you still have love for them they are people so once you're aware you can have for compassion and become humble so you won't be broken take care of yourself and thank God for our KZread Friends making us aware thank you so much

@johnhaller7017

Жыл бұрын

Aspects of yourself that were damaged by the Narc you mean! And no they are not real people, everything about them is destructive.

Anoushka, I have never heard anyone explain narcissist's and their actions, reasoning.s or lack of, better than you. You really have helped me to better understand and try to coupe with the narcissist experience I have been going through. I thank you for that.

I got a brutal discard & not one word. I felt suicidal. Sorting through nightmare still… God help anyone going through this hell 😞😢💔🙏

Thank you for this. Mine came back 3 times and I let him in each time. I finally understand his pathology and that it will never be fixed.

This was an excellent video.

Yep. Just finally got discarded 4 days ago. I knew it was imminent, but you can never predict when they will decide to create the situation. So yes, I became a scapegoat, and as soon as the texts came on a morning at work, I knew how to handle it. It was all a contrived set of grievances, so I cannot argue my side. Again, I don’t care anymore, she has killed my empathy, made me more like her. I am enjoying the no contact. I have had time to reflect and realize how hard she has made my life for a few months. That has to be it, I cannot take anymore of her…

This was tremendously healing- thank you

Understanding something, even something undeserved, brings peace to my soul.

Absolutely text book, word for word .unbelievable thanks for the education

The narc l dated said to me at the beginning of the “relationship” that he doesn’t like to argue and that when a woman argues with him he is out of it. I thought that was very strange, but little did l know, it is because once the women in his life realize that he is cheating on them, of course they will confront him and that’s when he leaves them. That’s what he did to me. He discarded me as soon as l asked me where he was when he ghosted me many nights. He called me “toxic” and broke up with me. I realized l could not ever ask him for anything otherwise he’d leave me. That’s abuse. He came back two weekends on a row to invite me over his place. Of course l rejected him and now he is giving me the silent treatment. It is crazy. My head is spinning.

@MRLX54

3 жыл бұрын

Wow! sounds like my ex he did exactly the same thing he discarded me after I called him out on his shitty behaviour and found out he was cheating on me. He came back after 7 months with more lies and B.S asked him why he discarded me oh it’s my fault! he blames me he was still with his old supply and lying about it insulting her telling me he’s broken up with her and that he’s blocked her that’s why he’s changed his number calling her all names under the sun trying to appease me worm his way back in being nice asking how I am fake apology bla bla bla etc. I got angry and shouted abuse at him down the phone blocked his number he hoovered for a bit and sent out a flying monkey. He rang off a new number and I answered was caught off guard. I told him to move on with his life and that I don’t love or care about him anymore he got angry and tried to insult me but I just hung up changed my number so he can’t call me grey rocked his ass and it’s been 3 months haven’t heard a peep it’s been so nice no drama! The less contact I’ve had the easier it became I feel nothing for him and see him for what he truly is a piece of 💩

@atanerolleia6575

3 жыл бұрын

Same happened to me when I called him out for cheating but any questions about where he has been he used to get angry and discard me

@carolmaz8675

2 жыл бұрын

Yes they will never answer direst questions and will make you feel bad for normal relationship talks . They will always threaten to leave or silent treatment …part of a relationship is someone meeting your needs talking caring bringing out the best in each other .. the narc can’t or won’t do this bec they want to control how you feel . Being normal isn’t in their vocabulary

@janetstonerook4552

2 жыл бұрын

He told you early on what he was going to do. And that you would have no say or power in your relationship.

@MR-mv6hd

2 жыл бұрын

@@janetstonerook4552 yeah and that’s the way it was. It didn’t last long because l figured he was a narc. He actually texted me yesterday with “hi” “what are you up to?” 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ seriously? I won’t reply. These people are crazy !

Disengagement. This is a really good way of understanding this thank you

Thank you for helping me understand all of this!

Thank you so much I love the way you break things down

Thank you for this 💝

It hurt. Just broke up and now he's in a whole relationship 1mth later. Already telling her I love you. First of all its long distance, never met. Already in love? Telling her the same crap he would tell me. Basically told me its over then calls me to see if I'm ok. Its over! This is toxic!! ****1/25/21- Update - so he's already hooking up with prostitutes and has his main gf on social media and a secret romance on the side. Glad im out. He paid me the money he owed me surprisingly. After he asked to continue using my bank acct and paypal so he can move money around. He doesn't want anything under his name. Now that I've been separated from him I can see clearly how he would manipulate me.

@true3980

3 жыл бұрын

This pain you are in will get better. Im so sorry you encountered a sicko.

@lucybee3361

3 жыл бұрын

Hopefully the bank account stuff has stopped.

@misfit7866

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds just like what my Narc did crazy to me how they all use the same playbook!

At one point it gave me hope that she would be back ..... now the thought of it now fills me with dread..... it is like a parasite that has infected me and i just want it out. I wish it had never happened

@patriciamontoya9049

3 жыл бұрын

We understand. It takes time. I'm still working on me. I see them as a SOULLESS Mule of the Devil. They take and Destroy you and will KILL you. Take care of yourself. Love thyself.

@theflokis2786

3 жыл бұрын

Mine unblocked me on Facebook after ghosting me and blocking me for 6 months. Her mom wrote me at some point.

The soul tie is real.past one year since no contact...i miss her...i still love her...but i am not going back to the abusive cycle..be strong my friends...music can help you..listen to the old music which are familiar with good memories..detach from phone...spend lot of time in nature and probably in nature you will be able to accept it was real what happened and it's time to start letting it go..do the things u did most before u met the narcissist..u will be better at it .i am a photographer and my mind has changed by the narcissist,but i am bending it in a way to create art out of the rumination period..i am successful...my best is coming now..

She told me no matter what i say, do, or if i stay the same or not will never come back and she is free of me upon heavens orders

Very good!😁 thank you for your expertise!

Looooovvvveeee this video!!! ❤❤❤ Binge watching it 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Very helpful and timely. Thank you.

Thank you so much

There is no self- no ego.

No closure - it’s a cycle of abuse - nothing ignored silent treatment it’s disabling

Thank you for this video, very informative!

The end of a relationship (either sudden or slowly over time) without having any communication about what the actual issues are so they can be addressed or at the very least understood by both parties creates prolonged confusion for the lesser NPD partner. Prolonged confusion and one person doing the majority of the emotional processing and soul searching trying too understand what happened and why is a big clue that your partner is disordered. My partner could not locate their emotions, split me black and could not remember anything good about the relationship or anything positively about me as a partner. I realized that this person drifted away slowly over 2-3 years and now wonder what other supply he was getting during that time and would not be shocked at all to discover that he probably had a duplicitous life in some way. I was shocked after the relationship ended to hear things he felt about me and the relationship that were never spoken about and could‘ve been easily remedied or clarified had they been discussed at the time. It;s like he quietly kept score of all slights I ever did in order to justify pulling away and then when I noticed and spoke up about it he would say nothing was wrong or he was tired etc. A year after the break up is when I realized this and also his interpretation of events was really different than what I remember. I remembered out relationship as being pretty good at the time (now I have a very different perspective since learning about covert vulnerable NPD which does fit although I cannot diagnose this person). So there‘s this strange extra grief of not even being on the same page with this person regarding what our 5 year relationship even was. Key is the lack of empathy I saw once he did not gain energy or supply from me and the inability to understand context, his own internal feelings, let alone what I might feel/put himself in the shoes of another. He became a protesting, child-like blank slate once the mask dropped. Oh and lots of tiredness during relationship which I know wonder if it was from having to maintain the mask of being a helpful kind generous gentle person who supposedly liked certain things that maybe he was pretending to. That‘s prob what the fatigue was, keeping that up.

I love your videos, honest but not triggering so much honesty and understanding ❤❤❤❤

This is so true you are so good to explaining. I would also see it as they try to keep us dependent of them even if we are not ?

Great video! I can attest to every point: the narc "shelved" me with a silent treatment/ghosting but continued to watch my social media obsessively, but not speaking with me anymore. It was very dysfunctional. I eventually blocked them on all channels and went no contact. From the little I saw at the time, the person had a clear attachment disorder (absent mother and drama of the gifted child combined) and was oscillating between grandiosity and vulnerability - this double resonance, grandiose and vulnerable, plus all the other behaviours exhibited tell me I was dealing with a very sick person. I'm glad I got out.

Wow, you literally just opened my eyes, this is almost verbatim what she said to me too, so crazy.

You have a very good way of explaining this topic in a manner that is easy to understand and you're helping me come to terms with it. Also, you are easy to listen to and i am subscribing. Thanks love.

You are Amazing!!!!

Awesome video, very helpful. Thank you so much. 😊

Thank You .

Awesome thank you ❤

Mine was eager to get a divorce asap. Don't think he ll be back. Said he didn't want that kind of relationship ever again. Our marriage of forty years!

One of my narc came back after 3 years lol ... I was like ummmm!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO XD

The idea that they leave because they don't know what else to do is so validating. I was thinking that recently about my ex-narc. It is so helpful to have that insight validated.

My bpd ex has some seriously narcissistic traits. She lied to me about our breakup and is already in a new honeymoon phase with her rebound. The thing is, she’s in therapy for it, which creates an extremely confusing feeling within me. I know she won’t be back. She’s moving on. It is both my greatest comfort and my biggest fear at the moment. Knowing I’m better off without her but wanting her at the same time.

The final discard is our choice. We decide to never let them come back.

The statement that it is a " bonding disorder" couldn't describe it more accurately.

Your videos help so much! Understanding their phases and how to respond to each one! Thank you

I don’t have any wacko attached to me life. Not going to let it happen.

She will never have access to my heart. Never again. I will not allow another human being with this attachment disorder to enter my life.

My ex never allowed me to look at his social media. I was blocked everywhere. When he discarded me he was able to get into all my stuff. Email, Instagram, and Facebook. He was stalking me virtually and in reality.

@patriciamontoya9049

3 жыл бұрын

Yep. That's what they do. They are Dangerous mules of the Devil. Be safe

They don’t always come back or Hoover. Especially with a covert narcissist.

@blueblaze9862

3 жыл бұрын

The covert narcissist has more pride

@marymardigian6239

3 жыл бұрын

The covert also knows when they have been beat by a super empath Big narcissistic injury

@tamaraanthony9762

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah thought so until a recent malign hoover from an ex of over 15years.

@shinebright9490

3 жыл бұрын

@@marymardigian6239 is that why they display so much hatred towards you and erase you just like that?

@howyduinyall7653

2 жыл бұрын

They won’t come back if they know that you know why there is so much shame inside of them, in other words they think they are safe if THEY go no contact!!!!!!!!!!

I love your delivery. Good stuff, thank you.

Your knowledge is amazing and voice so calming. Thank you

Anoushka, this hair color looks terrific on you. Maybe because your looks are along the lines of Jennifer Aniston and bronde looks so good on her. Just a few more light warm beige blonde highlights.

He told me that he just needed to be selfish right now. As he ghosted and discarded me. Like he wasn't the whole time? Sadly, he will never leave me alone. He thinks he owns me. I could probably move to a new planet and he would show up on the next shuttle.