Cannot wait for the Quantum Encabulator.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

🤫🤫🤫

@BerzerkaDurk

Жыл бұрын

If there is a god, that video will be narrated by Michio Kaku.

@freelanceryuu

Жыл бұрын

Does it have a release date?

@engineer84-w8x

11 ай бұрын

@@freelanceryuu unfortunately no, quantum computing has not reached the stability and processing power-to-cost ratio required for commercial applications, which means that quantum encabulator technology is still a bit ahead of what we can do, as the coordination of the nanojumblification of hyperdiamondic septicillia to provide the trinary feedback required for encabulation of that scale needs gargantuan CPU and GPU headroom, which in a machine the size of an apartment flat, only quantum computers are projected to provide.

@timh6845

11 ай бұрын

It does and it doesn’t

"If history tells me anything, it's that the Battle of Hastings was fought in 1066" utterly encabluated me

@FearNoMan0311

29 күн бұрын

This is probably the best non sequitur I've ever heard.

@falxonPSN

13 күн бұрын

@@FearNoMan0311 This was on the level of a line from the movie Airplane.

I had a roommate once who was going to school for mechanical engineering. He had a track record for being rather pretentious about various things. I showed him this video, with the preface “Basically it’s funny because no one knows what the hell the guy’s talking about” and while watching the video, my roommate’s like “No, I know what he’s talking about. It makes sense. It’s a cool product these guy’s are selling. I couldn’t explain it to you though. It’s too complex.” He didn’t know that an encabulator is literally a fictional thing.

@BenCos2018

3 ай бұрын

Lol

@codebreakerbeautiful

2 ай бұрын

But is it though? :P

@srpsrp3649

Ай бұрын

Great play. Technical word salad makes some engineers get quite excited.

@BetaDude40

Ай бұрын

I'm pretty sure he was trolling you

@finnrock5558

11 күн бұрын

What was so great about the original (and this version to a lesser extent) is that half of the technical word salad does actually mean something. For example: "the relative motion of conductors and fluxes" describes how an electric generator works. Conductive coils move through a magnetic field, and the magnetic flux that flows through the coil is what produces current. Similarly here, "DIN rackable" just means it's designed to fit onto a standard DIN rail (a common feature for industrial electronics). Overall, it's nonsense, but the little snippets of overly complex jargon that actually mean something are always fun to pick up on.

“Stackable, dimrackable and unhackable” , my lord, so good

@ellenorbjornsdottir1166

3 ай бұрын

DIN-rackable I think

@MichaelNelsonxxx

2 ай бұрын

Yeah I am selling everything I own and investing in this great company tomorrow

@Blaze5x5x5

18 күн бұрын

"We can achive results that are plastic, spastic and sinosinclastic." 💀💀💀

This was the sequel that the world never expected but needed more than anything. 10/10

@jntj3007

Жыл бұрын

LOL!

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

so glad you like it!

@joshuacalkins

Жыл бұрын

Now more than ever! Because every second can mean lost prantkens!

@beardymcbeardface69

Жыл бұрын

@@joshuacalkins Our company was recently placed into receivership due to unmitigated loss of prantkens. If only upper management did not underestimate the importance of encabulation!

@snackentity5709

Жыл бұрын

i like how it went from garbling only technical jargon in the original, to garbling even common words in this one. "the extraordinarily populist turbo encabulator". what a sequel.

"despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation; unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer..." love it.

@aidantuck9113

9 ай бұрын

"Nobody gave a shit, We made it anyways, it's useful to absolutely no one."

@dangeary2134

9 ай бұрын

This is the company Dilbert works for!

@thecrazycapmaster

9 ай бұрын

@@aidantuck9113”but you’ll be buying it anyway even though you never wanted it.”

@slickwilly691

9 ай бұрын

Hey thats the company I work for!

@orbatos

8 ай бұрын

The only difference between this and an actual pitch is this bit of honestly.

My girlfriend watched this and she was in tears while laughing. But the tears weren't because of her laughter. She was really confused and felt like she was having a stroke, then when the video ended there was a cyber security ad. It was enough to send her mad. 10/10 video.

@kevCarrico

6 ай бұрын

you may be entitled to a 10% discount!

@dunkdon158

2 ай бұрын

This video made me feel bad for thinking the original was real

"unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer". The perfect business.

I finally got a job with this company! They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.

@johnkelly928

Жыл бұрын

I applied there but YoYoDyne got back to me first for their normative reality physics program. But I'm currently being retubed for side fumbling caniption fits at this company on my next encabulation contract.

@ulfskinn1458

Жыл бұрын

That's fantastic

@sparkymcfiddlesticks8286

Жыл бұрын

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.

@FrogWizard64

Жыл бұрын

@@johnkelly928 what an incredible opportunity! One day I want to work on manufacturing the encabulator’s magneto-reluctants! Can’t wait to see what’s in store next

@dadoobz7320

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I feel like the narration is dialogue being generated by my brain during an Ambien-fueled fever dream.

@aurora8749

Жыл бұрын

I miss ambien. They won't let me have it anymore because I liked it too much 😂

@NegativeROG

10 ай бұрын

My pharmacist woke up in a jail cell in his pajamas because of an Ambien tablet.

@alexanderderevin725

8 ай бұрын

​@@NegativeROGHow did they get a jail cell into your pharmacist's pajamas? 🙃

@NegativeROG

8 ай бұрын

@@alexanderderevin725 OMGLOL, I should re-word that, huh?

@stringlarson1247

3 ай бұрын

@@NegativeROG No, pls. don't.

I'm glad to see TARS is doing fine and well after all he's been through.

@TheGryxter

8 ай бұрын

I thought I was the only one who caught that....Bravo!

@kevCarrico

8 ай бұрын

what if it’s CASE?

@EUROCORP2027

8 ай бұрын

@@kevCarrico mmm interesting question… maybe its case too… or both…

@extremely.hung.individual2693

4 ай бұрын

Come on, TARS!

@ygorgomes5202

4 ай бұрын

Could you please low your sarcastics levels?

I like the addition of casual malapropisms, as well as the seamless evolution from "Bell Labs"-flavored nonsense to "Silicon Valley"-flavored nonsense. I can't imagine how many takes it took to deliver some of these lines with such a masterfully straight face.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

not more than one take per setup.

@Nash1a

2 ай бұрын

Would have made Archie Bunker proud!

“Leveraging existing assets is not plagiarism.” Remember that folks!

@njnjhjh8918

Жыл бұрын

That one really caught my ear since I need to reuse some homework for a term paper

@kozmik4848

Жыл бұрын

that is the best quote and a great example of doublespeak in action.

@kristenhurst683

Жыл бұрын

Wikipedia.

@kevinneal2575

Жыл бұрын

I like how he cleverly inserted that static paradigm in order to keep his litigious counter interpreters at perpetual bay.

@Nightrunnergunner

Жыл бұрын

unoriginal copys

"US Compartment of Offence and Natural Guard". Fantastic

@michaelbauers8800

Жыл бұрын

Some of the intentional mispronunciations were funny. Reminds me of that old gangster trope where they keep mispronouncing words.

@SayAhh

Жыл бұрын

I'd like to join The Natural Guard.

@rakninja

Жыл бұрын

@@michaelbauers8800 ...but i regress...

@rueben225

Жыл бұрын

At that line I just about choked, fantastic. Those are plausible departments in a whack-job government and I love it.

@rfichokeofdestiny

Жыл бұрын

@@SayAhh They have strict physique requirements. That’s critical for any fighting force going “au naturel.” 😉

This is beautifully written, a lovely extension of the joke. In my head cannon the Hyperencabulator makes a welcome addition to the encabulator line 😉

Tight. Conniption. Fit. Give this man an Oscar.

@kevCarrico

6 ай бұрын

we’re trying to give him an oscar, but he won’t sit still and accept one.

@lilblackduc7312

3 ай бұрын

That perfectly describes my "X"!

My Dad had a Rockwell Retro Encabulator. He kept it in the crawl space under the house. My whole family knew that no matter what happened; it was there.... just in case.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

your dad was a smart man,

@nate_river_

Жыл бұрын

Very sensible. You never know when something - or someone - might need encabulating.

@rkr9861

Жыл бұрын

You should probably get it checked; earlier models had asbestos.

@jondonnelly4831

Жыл бұрын

Prepper before it became fashionable! perfect for when the walls come tumbling down.

@briancampbell179

Жыл бұрын

We had one as well. It worked fine until one day it raped the cat so we had to shoot it - the encabulator that is. The cat's okay but in therapy

Exceptional. SANS is truly leading the industry towards zero trust encabulation.

@Naotaku

Жыл бұрын

Maybe even sub-zero trust.

@Yuri_the_Dragon

Жыл бұрын

megalovania starts playing

@Eric_the_Hiking

Жыл бұрын

TARS and CASE also have a trust setting.

@TripleAlfafa

Жыл бұрын

@@Naotaku That's the proposed necessity for 9th generation encabulation in the 2035 International Encabulation Standard Board's list of items. A team in Switzerland's been working on the theory, but it's still at least a few years away depending on how the Hinwil Institute of Encabulation handles the affair.

@DannySullivanMusic

Жыл бұрын

haha niiice

That Fat Boy Slim joke was perfect

@stringlarson1247

3 ай бұрын

Fat Boy Slim is fucking in heaven!

How this guy keeps a straight face while sounding off total gibberish for 6 and a half minutes is simply incredible.

@kevCarrico

6 ай бұрын

mike kraft is a machine.

@mikekraft9669

6 ай бұрын

A well oiled one. @@kevCarrico

I don't always encabulate, but when I do, I use a datascope with nangling pins. Stay hydro-encabulated my friends.

@rhorybader4054

Жыл бұрын

I mean I prefer the more traditional Fingle bolts but that's one of those things only hobbyists really care about.

@greyknightus7

Жыл бұрын

No wonder your process is suffering side fumbling waning in constrapulation of improper encabulations.. you're using water based sideo-sonial deplenerations in a non-hyrdo maliable cardinal-gram structure when a cybernetic dingle based AI matrix is the industry standard to prevent data structures moving through intermodial magneto reluctant fields of flux..

@DumbledoreMcCracken

Жыл бұрын

Encabulation now, encabulation tomarra, encabulation forever

@Krush00

Жыл бұрын

Do the nangling pins have any problem with side fumbling? Asking for a friend.

@hipflask

Жыл бұрын

LOL

After all these years I’m glad to see they still have the side fumbling under control.

@jlowe181

Жыл бұрын

😂

@matturban9103

Жыл бұрын

I just used a rubber band or two.

@thettguy

Жыл бұрын

Yep. That is important for backwards compatibily to interfacing systems that have low fumbling tolerance.

@calldwnthesky6495

Жыл бұрын

with all the new and exciting features added to the system it's a wonder it doesn't do a shit ton more side fumbling than the early prototypes. pushed hard enough though i'll bet it does some rear fumbling... on paper anyway

@thcoura

10 ай бұрын

Hahahahah

Show this to Congress, 3/4 will vote for it.

"But I regress" is such a subtle gem.

You, Sir, are *living proof* that "leveraging existing assets" is not plagiarism!

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k5eOqtWYY6zHedI.html

@CalvinHikes

10 ай бұрын

So true. And hilarious.

@grossteilfahrer

9 ай бұрын

Remixing is art.

Years ago, I neglected to metabuff the nangling pins before insertion. It precipitated an unrecoverable non-encapsulation of the preencabulated outputs, resulting in a dingle-arm field breakdown, which as everyone knows, makes it impossible to initialize the cloudbenders. I fixed it by re-reticulating the splines while simultaneously applying a non-Floridian magnetopattern to the stress risers.

@freedomfalcon

Жыл бұрын

A Sim-City man of culture here I see.

@CWHolleman

Жыл бұрын

Mediocre.

@francescaa8331

Жыл бұрын

My friend tried to fix a similar problem- but applied a Floridian magnetopattern to the stress risers. We miss him.

@flesh140

Жыл бұрын

Those bloody reticulating splines.

@lafemmedevastation

Жыл бұрын

_well_ within prescribed parameters, excellent encabulation my friend!

I never knew the Transcendental Data Hopper Scope used Anhydrous Nangling pins! Truly ahead of its time. Frenetic Mastication changed my families life.

We had a challenge when I was an intern at an engineering firm to use language from the original retro encabulator video in our reports to our boss, who was relatively business oriented and non-technical, without giving context to see if he listened and understood anything we were trying to explain to him. I regret to say that I totally broke when I said the thing I was working on was suffering from "Magneto reluctance", which kind of gave the whole thing away. However it's a good test to try on your boss sometime if you think that he doesn't understand anything you do.

@MavHunter20XX

Жыл бұрын

crazy thing is, magneto reluctance is actually technically sensible, if not just stating a principle and a quality in the same line..

@baronclime6423

Жыл бұрын

That is a high level Dilbert move.

@JP-uk9uc

Жыл бұрын

And here I thought it had to do with a character in X-Men....

@JP-uk9uc

Жыл бұрын

Most people have no idea what a mag is anyway.

"owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single-surface reflective devices" Brilliant. I'm going to totally use that to say something is pure "smoke and mirrors" sometime.

@mikekraft9669

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for being the first to acknowledge that joke.

@KCBudd

2 жыл бұрын

@@mikekraft9669 Thank you for making it! I worked at Honeywell IAC around the time that the "Retro Encabulator" came out, so it holds a special place in my heart. I work in cybersecurity now, so the trajectory of encabulation has been weirdly timely for me. 😂😂

@RedwoodRhiadra

Жыл бұрын

@@mikekraft9669 The shits and giggles joke was hilarious too.

@martymcfly9480

Жыл бұрын

@@RedwoodRhiadra 5:40 I wondered if anybody else caught it lol

@thecianinator

Жыл бұрын

Holy shit lmao

I think my favorite thing about this is how the cybersecurity discussion sounds like random words but is largely composed of actual cybersecurity jargon 🤣 couldn’t tell you how coherent it actually is but I recognized a fair bit of it.

@shia_labeouf

8 ай бұрын

A lot of the original turbo encabulator was genuine engineering terminology just all jumbled up and nonsensically used. This is a genuinely brilliant way to make a tribute to that within a different field.

I love the fact that the Hyper Encabulator has the Enterprise's science station hypnosis thingy, and the Death Star Trench on it. Also the "Handsome Ransomware Hypervizor" being a mechanical watch movement is brilliant.

I never understood that TARS was an actual HyperEncabulator actor produced by SANS ICS, now it is clear due to the hydrodynamic genuflection, thanks SANS ICS for your research!!

@Ozaron

Жыл бұрын

Yes, in hindsight it was obvious, I am ashamed to have taken so long to identify the Triple Alignment Roving Superencabulator beta product.

@olfsamson

Жыл бұрын

#KIPP and CASE enter the chat.

@DannySullivanMusic

Жыл бұрын

lolol perfect

@CORZER0

Жыл бұрын

Stackable DINN rackable and unhackable

@madsringswaldegan1058

Жыл бұрын

Oh my god, I thought it looked like TARS!

I worked at the company that made the original retroincabulator video. It existed only on a single VHS tape and was played at meetings and classes as an ice breaker. I don't think it was ever intended to go beyond company walls. I'm glad it did. It shows that the company used to have a sense of humor.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

the *original* “original” goes back 80 years.

@farfrohmpupen

Жыл бұрын

@@kevCarrico The Retroencabulator video with this announcer for Rockwell Automation was copywrited in 1997. The Turboencabulator was obviously made before then.

@mikekraft9669

Жыл бұрын

​@@farfrohmpupen I'm not sure it was ever copyrighted. Director John Wright shot it at the Allen-Bradley studio in Milwaukee as a joke to put on the end of the December training release for distributors. How it ended up on eBaum's World is still a mystery to me.

@farfrohmpupen

Жыл бұрын

@@mikekraft9669 You're probably right; I just noticed the 1997 at the end. I was at that meeting. I nagged the director for a copy the VHS tape and finally got one. Months later, one of my students asked the same of me and when he returned the tape, he gave me a CD with the digital file on it. I notieced sometime later that it was on KZread. A funny side story: while the tape was playing, some of the attendees were annoyed at the laughing and giggling. Some actually thought it was a real product and thought we should have a little more respect. That video has done me a great service over the years to wake up the students who just returned from a heavy lunch.

@tweed0929

8 ай бұрын

@@farfrohmpupen goes to show corporate sphere produces nothing but bullshit.

I had the privilege of working on the inverse production model of one of these while contraemployed by a defense contractor. We made a lot of alluvial improvements that really helped to transmorphify it's already callipygian abilities. We improved the audible gaseous eruptations by installing a sialoquent mufflometer which resulted in 180% more colonic effluvium expulsion when measured at the pyrogastric obelus. We also found that quintangulating the retainium based cloud benders could boost dactylomegaly in all peristeronic processes when manuductively catillating.

I love that a new encabulator video is made every time enough new jargon is produced.

This was invaluable, not just for industry experts, but for the whole family. You know what they say: “The family that encabulates together, effluviates together!”

@jgalway

Жыл бұрын

An infernal faustian engine for the whole family!

@NevelWong

Жыл бұрын

TL: effluviate = expel smelly gas or breath or odor. Where do you guys even find these words?! 🤣

@nehukybis

Жыл бұрын

In other words, the clan that fits together shits together.

@chriswilson9331

Жыл бұрын

Mastication for the whole family!

@Sinjinator

Жыл бұрын

That sounds kinda gross. Especially if the whole family is doing it! 🤢

I love that "dingle arm" has become a real term in engineering. its up there with "doodads" and "googas" and even "widgets"

@princessmaly

Жыл бұрын

...googas? Like from that Justin Roiland sketch?

@effervescentrelief

Жыл бұрын

Or dongles.

@TracyTsVideos

Жыл бұрын

Buy a KLR motorcycle and join the team that has thermobobs, duhickies, and farkles galore. I shit you not, all true terminology to anyone owning one of these machines. Seriously, this is the truth.

@Sinjinator

Жыл бұрын

Just don’t get a doohickey on your tallywacker. 😉

@MikeStoneJapan

Жыл бұрын

@@Sinjinator that's what happens when you get side fumbling from untrusted sources without a prophylactic handshake security layer

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm fifty three, and for the first time in my life, my eyes have been opened wide. I have SANS to thank for this.

This is music to my ears! I used to play one of those, in a rock band, back in the 90s, before all the big industry players, switched to Franistat based oscillators, with better frequency stability. Reminds me of a saying we had back then... "You can tune a fish, but you can't tune a HyperEncabulator", LOL

He's come back The man The myth The legend

@mandi8345

Жыл бұрын

I will never, NEVER, hear "Rockwell" without hearing his voice saying "Rockwell Automation's Retro Encabulator" and "the production of Milford Trunnions".

@shawnomancy

Жыл бұрын

@@mandi8345 For me it's definitely "side fumbling" and "dingle arm". The man is a national treasure.

@pragmax

Жыл бұрын

I came here for retro encabulation. I stayed for the trans-modial duractance.

@chubbysumo2230

Жыл бұрын

scott sterlings face?

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k5eOqtWYY6zHedI.html

The fact that this was almost entirely plays on words and phrases instead of just made-up words is absolutely fantastic. I dunno why, but hearing SBOM thrown in there made me happy.

@darrennew8211

Жыл бұрын

This sounds amazingly a lot like the Cyberiad by Lem.

@BlueZirnitra

Жыл бұрын

This is the densest packed sketch I've ever seen. More brilliant wordplay and jokes than Airplane.

@potatosmasher1072

Жыл бұрын

@@BlueZirnitra You might enjoy watching “Xavier: Renegade Angel” then. A bit less family-friendly, but similar

@kevinneal2575

Жыл бұрын

You can tell who actually understands what is happening here. Some will try to reply as if they believe it’s simply a matter of hypersubstition of characters and jibberational non-sequiturs. Their Obtuse nonconformance of the established standard makes it obvious.

@nathangamble125

Жыл бұрын

It's the fact that colonic effluvium expulsion is such a more elegant and efficient way to achieve the same goal.

Was so happy to see that they finally added a S.O.C drawer.

As a former Rockwell employee who regarded the Retro-Encabulator and Mike Kraft as appropriated intellectual property of the company, I approve of this message.

@mikekraft9669

9 ай бұрын

Thank you for the vote of confidence!

Pure gold. As an information security practitioner the comment regarding the SOC drawer had me in tears.

@richardmcree7952

Жыл бұрын

As an Architect, it did me too!

@NinjaSushi2

Жыл бұрын

As a moron, I had a jovious laugh at all the funny words.

@philiprobinson5647

Жыл бұрын

Same here, his pausing before saying it was killer

@supertuesday600

Жыл бұрын

I learnt more in this presentation about the unique relation between the total spatial conjecture system and quasi-dynamic limbo loop operation than the 3 years master class i attended at the prestigious UAP Identification institute. I am forever grateful for the enlightenment.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

that was not an easy scene to shoot: kzread.info/dash/bejne/mntkvJuAZZjNgdI.html

As our founder once said: “Encabulation is 10% inspiration, and 90% flatulation.”

I haven't laughed so hard since I saw the original. Good work fellas.

New Encabulator technology is great, but the Vinyl Encabulator always has a place in my heart because of it's warmth and horizontally-opposed wainshafts.

@Descriptor413

Жыл бұрын

You just don't get the same depth of sound from digital encabulation.

@albertnortononymous9020

Жыл бұрын

*waneshafts

@gwicks

Жыл бұрын

*LUNAR waneshafts you mean 😂

“When the public was weddy for the next wave” Had to listen to that twice to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind. So damn good

@kristahutchinson907

6 ай бұрын

“The US Compartemnt of Offense” and “Natural Guard” 🤣

@SirReginaldBumquistIII

5 ай бұрын

'despite zero interest from the industry...'

@AleksandrStrizhevskiy

2 ай бұрын

I heard it as wetty.

It's nice to see that the developers heeded the advice of the Tempest fan club and included it in the Hyper version. I've been on the fence for a while, wanting, but not really needing emcabulation technology in my line of gorilla dust forensics, but that pesky Tempestlessness was always the deal breaker. Finally!

@kevCarrico

8 ай бұрын

it was my favorite video game.

This is one of the best KZread rabbit holes I’ve been down yet.

It's good to know the security robots on Interstellar were such excellent Encabulator models.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

maybe it’s the other way around?

@DannySullivanMusic

Жыл бұрын

hehehe pro

@magnusskipton7067

Жыл бұрын

No those are just the hyperencabulator pro models

@jamesparson

Жыл бұрын

It is the only thing that helps me dormate at night.

@Newtube_Channel

Жыл бұрын

The Retroencabulator was a mechanical device used in vehicle transmissions among other things. What's the connection with cybersecurity? Cybersecurity is a dated paradigm.

I can scarcely believe the level of encabulation that we have achieved. What an age to live in.

@peterrenn6341

Жыл бұрын

And the scourge of side fumbling (which has cost humanity so dreadfully dearly) is finally a thing of the past.

@owenisgoing

Жыл бұрын

Truly, these are interesting times. Encabulation has gotten us this far, and it will carry us onward evermore!

I had no idea there had been such incredible advances in encabulation! Thanks for the update.

I have shared the predecessor video countless times over the years. I look forward to this new generation

@kevCarrico

6 ай бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/Zp2Vj5KnedzSdJM.html

This is literally god tier perfection. THIS kind of material is what keeps me caring about things.

@kevCarrico

10 ай бұрын

this was exactly our goal!

@LegendLength

10 ай бұрын

It's annoying because Leslie Neilson kind of perfected this style. But then we had nothing for decades, nobody really tired those kinds of movies. There was Scary Movie i guess but that was kind of weak. Great to see other people giving it a go. This guy has good talent.

--Flashback begin [Narrator] The original machine had a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with a panometric fan. --End flashback [Narrator] Yes, that was once me. Extolling the virtues of retro-encabulation. Now I may not be the dashing, young on-camera narrator I once was, but if history tells me anything it's that the battle of hastings was fought in 1066. But that's not the point. The point is that encabulation has a rich, sumptuous history with a delicate, flaky crust relatively unknown to emergent cybersecurity personnel. Allow me to elucidate; The discovery of encabulation was quite accidental, when engineers in the skunk works at Mutual Polydynamics coupled a transcendental hopper datoscope with a spiral decommutator via the application of anhydrous nangling pins, resulting in a device that allowed for netic mastication at alarming speeds. The device was kept secret for many years owing to the horrific accident that occurred shortly after its inception, how-some-ever the US Compartment of Offense and The Natural Guard soon realized its potential as a weapon of choice, leading to its next iteration, The "Hydro-Encabulator", which they nicknamed "Fatboy Slim." Understanding the grizzly bear fact of the devastation that would result from its deployment, the project was re-tubed and transmogrified for industrial supplications. This version, known as The "Pseudo-Encabulator" was the infernal, Faustian engine that allowed post-war America to realize its aspirations and become the domino player on the world stage. Everybody was encabulating. --Movie clip begin [Character 1] I don't understand you. [Character 2] Well I knew you wouldn't but if I'd told you before the answer meter on the other side permulates the counter-spell happiness and that's the entire secret there you have it. --Movie clip end [Narrator] During the tumultuous 60s the psycho funkadelic "Vinyl-Encabulator" emerged as the long-haired hippie people's answer to their parents aging technology, scarving a resonance groove in the hot wax of a new generation of encabulators. However, interest in encabulation waned precipitously until the late 80s when the public was ready for the next transubstantiation of encabulation, the extraordinarily populist "Turbo-Encabulator." --Flashback begin [Narrator] Now, basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power being generated by the relative motion of conducters and fluxes it is produced by the modial interaction of magneto relucatance and capactive directance. --Flashback end [Narrator] Which brings us to where we are today, floundering in the wake of the obscenely similar "Retro-encabulator", featuring yours truly; Living proof that leveraging existing assets is not plagiarism. Now, despite encabulations unparalleled success in reducing sinusoidal depleneration through advanced ding-alarm technology, it has failed to meet the unanticipated needs of the cybersecurity industry to create zero trust operations in level zero monitoring environments to ameliorate zero-day process attacks. That is why, despite zero interest from industry, the SANS ICS Security team has taken it upon themselves to develop an entirely new level of encabulation unresponsive to the needs of the average consumer and undoubtedly without merit in terms on concomitant asynchronous communication with client-side connectivity. Ladies and gentlemen, I-SACs of all sectors beer included, and children of all ages may I present The "Hyper-Encabulator". The Hyper-Encabulator is nothing less than a key ruminant in the advancement of retrograde phenomenology by which we can achieve results that are plastic, spastic, and sinosynclastic without sacrificing both normative reality and AI-informed modalites. You'll note that the Hyper-encabulator utilizes indiscreet modules, making possible virtualized environments that include PLC-controlled, stand-up reheaters as well as retainium-based cloud benders. It also includes a dedicated OT security operations center access panel known as: "The SOC Drawer", The primary modules of the Hyper-Encabulator are stackable, dinrackable, and unhackable and please note the complete abscence of side fumbling owing to the maintenance of tolerances allowing a tight conniption fit. Please take little note of this module: "The Open-Source Digital Ghost Daemon", which allows transparent OT invisibility owing entirely to the manipulation of airborne particulate matter and single surface reflective devices, or for criminal infrastructure sectors where the dependability of sopramet wenosprox is essential. Our handsome ransomware hypervisor is perpetually alert to SQL injections of gates, tracking chips, and quantum IOT identification dots. Moreover, whenever a pen-test is elected to assure the integrity of a safety instrumented system, our purdue model modal module de-feathers and plucks clean every proverbial fox in the hen house and keeps would-be intruders wondering which metaphor got mixed first. As you can see, the Hyper-Encabulator has reached a high level of development whereas previous dissimilar devices operated under the concept of manumatic stressor reduction and macroeconomic supply chain s-bombs, The Hyper-Encabulator operates totally under the principle of colonic effluvium explusion and audible gaseous eruptations. Thomas Edison once said that invention was ten percent inspiration and ninety percent persperation, if that's the case, Thomas Edison should have invented deodorant, but I regress. In the near future, Hyper-encabulation will ultimately replace all traditional cybersecurity safeguarding processes with osculating seqmentation and entropic astrogation, making what was once thought to be impossible, probable. At SANS ICS Security, when we're not innovating, we're encabulating.

@bloodwashed5550

Жыл бұрын

That should be printed on a teeshirt

@aarong.9633

Жыл бұрын

I wish I could copy and paste this😭

@mauricio-poppe

10 ай бұрын

Oh finally lyrics

@JoeSmith-cy9wj

9 ай бұрын

Oh, well that clears it up. I was sure he said ' dingle-arms'

@SpaceCadet4Jesus

9 ай бұрын

Thank you for your hard work, sir.

How this man can deliver his lines with a totally straight face takes pure talent! I'd have been busting out laughing before the end of the first paragraph.

@philipjorden4516

2 жыл бұрын

Some of it seems laughably simple doesn't it! But we have to bear in mind that a lot of people don't know what an encabulator does, let alone a turbo or hyper encabulator!

@kevCarrico

2 жыл бұрын

mike kraft is an on-camera machine.

@mikekraft9669

2 жыл бұрын

It's in the job description.

@mandi8345

Жыл бұрын

Number one rule of being a corporate video talking head: Just. Read. The. Script. And let the marzle vanes do the rest ;)

@mandi8345

Жыл бұрын

@@philipjorden4516 Well, the Rockwell Automation Retro Encabulator is pivotal in the successful operation of Milford Trunnions.

I genuinely do not understand how legit this channel is, why this video exists, what SANS ICS does, or what the shit I just watched. Love it.

A fantabulous update of a classic exorcise in pormolglamification with a hint of IDKWTM. Professor Irwin Corey would be proud.

2:20 "...the public was weddy!" Indeed, we were!

The amazing TARS cameo as HyperEncabulator with Kubrick’s HAL-9000 displays were a very nice touch. Welcome back, sire.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k5eOqtWYY6zHedI.html

@brandonthesteele

Жыл бұрын

Also, the targeting computer display from the first Star Wars

@annyeong6373

Жыл бұрын

@@brandonthesteele haha, nice, it’s been a while since I watched any of the series, good eye!

@kingdave31

Жыл бұрын

Also the round moire pattern from Mr. Spock’s science station

@rodsprague369

Ай бұрын

I also noticed the animation of the assembly the the skunkworks device looked a lot like a Tesla turbine.

This reminds me of the time I had chick korea; the doctor had to preform a deuteronomy and refibrillate me with a surgical encabulator because my hart went eurythmic. I find it amazing we still use the older encabulation technology in so many fields. My grandfather told me stories about reciprocating internal combustion encabulators that predated the turboencabulators. They used them in Mannheim rockets during the early space program. They based them on the old steam piston encabulators used by the mining industry. They are still trying to work out the math of getting the relativistic-quantum encabulators up and running. That, and the qubits won't quite reach the Boise-Einstein condescension point yet.

You stole my idea in the best way possible. I'm glad I talked about this with John and a few other SANS instructors.

As a McMillan man myself, I always wondered how the encabulator widget coupling enables every flange splicer, every hanging gated flop-hopper and wangle joint to integrate fully with splurge lugs and sprock-noggins while remaining fully compatible with the lipped and unlipped rear-facing winglebobs, and you’d still have enough nubbins left over for a splack-packet.

@RandyKing314

10 ай бұрын

can’t have too many nubbins!

@bragiodinsen4604

10 ай бұрын

Bad idea. The manual may not require use of the nubbins but long term exposure of the wobble-phasers to the flop-hoppers can lead to early side-fumble failure and thus replacement of the entire unit. Never skimp on the nubbins.

@pancreasenthusiast

10 ай бұрын

NUBBENS

@JoeSmith-cy9wj

9 ай бұрын

​@@pancreasenthusiasteven Google is getting in on it.

@oldtimer2192

9 ай бұрын

I’m glad that I ordered the later version with full reverse nullification properties, 10th dimensional exploitation and spurving bearings throughout for higher performance of the dingle arms which ultimately improves calculations such as a parabolic arc through various states of matter at ftl speeds. Nubbins are a bit old school now btw.

Glad to see Mike still getting work from that script! (I worked on the Rockwell piece with him. The note about plagiarism - classic.) What a fantastic update!

@NinjaSushi2

Жыл бұрын

Really? That was the most brilliant script I've ever heard played out. Lol fantastic!

@thedungeondelver

Жыл бұрын

That video is so wonderful. I share it out everywhere. And will be sharing this one too.

@VidGamer123

Жыл бұрын

That rules and you rule

@Melfs_acid_flashback3604

Жыл бұрын

You're awesome This update is the next generation's Fitness Gram Pacer Test, and I want to thank you for your part in it I should note, when I read your name the first time, I thought I saw Mike Wazowski I'm gonna dial back on the caffeine

@OptimusSubPr1me

Жыл бұрын

That's awesome. I'd love to know the BTS of that process!

I can't believe that Hyper Encabulation was achieved in my lifetime. The future of encabulation is limitless within the quasi proto galactus core.

You walk into a house expecting to see the youngest encabulators and this man tells you to take a seat.

the motion controls are so natural, every time he wiggled or waggled to close a panel I thought "that's exactly what he should have done"

@OVER-bENGINEERED

Жыл бұрын

The hyper encabulator was a real prop in the shoot, including the displays.

@oxmonoford

Жыл бұрын

@@OVER-bENGINEERED Yeah - the director has it on his YT channel.

The death star approaching UI and trench run targeting computer UI were nice touches on the HyperEncabulator.

@etc_kula

Жыл бұрын

The references to 2001 and the original series Star Trek on that same screen were just :chefs_kiss:

@chironthefloof2920

Жыл бұрын

dont forget that the whole machine is literally one of the robots from interstellar

@Technohazard

Жыл бұрын

Playing Tempest on screen at 5:25 🤣

@coxric

Жыл бұрын

@@Technohazard good catch!

@captainnerd6452

Жыл бұрын

It's good to know the HyperEncabulator incorporates TEMPEST security.

I love the dedication to the joke! The little logo in the bottom right in the first few seconds, on the title card: "Ham Jandy"? Haha, brilliant reference/callback.

I am glad they are still addressing side fumbling issues even in the future.

"the battle of hastings happened in 1066, but that's not the point" - bloody hilarious!

@MrMaxeemum

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like a line that Leslie Nielson would say.

@41-Haiku

Жыл бұрын

@@MrMaxeemum Yesss 100%

@o3_o3_28

Жыл бұрын

“Thomas Edison once said that invention was 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration. If that’s the case, Thomas Edison should’ve invented deodorant, but I regress” is another great joke in this along the same lines

I cannot stress enough how awesome this is. A joke from the 40s still going strong!!! Lol

@MrMaxeemum

Жыл бұрын

A joke? what do you mean?

@62Cristoforo

Жыл бұрын

We meet every 20 years with an upgraded model. Welcome to the club.

@owenisgoing

Жыл бұрын

Not sure what you mean by joke, but I still have my grandpa's Turbo Encabulator from 1951. Aside from a little hyper-magnopic surgiance in the auxiliary side transnifters, it still works! 71 years of encabulating!

@MrMaxeemum

Жыл бұрын

@@owenisgoing Old Encabulators never die they just get more features such as the beck and sprong spod rods for better gangle pins.

@62Cristoforo

Жыл бұрын

I doubt your story about your Grandpa’s Turbo Encabulator. Tell me, how exactly did he deal with the side fumbling issues?

I always wondered why encabulation development had stalled despite all the promises such advances held. But now I see new 21st century investments are being made from a name we all know and trust.

I have done a lot of work with Rockwell in my early days, and remember very well his first "promo film". I think he has outdone himself, and the writers did a great job building (and cameo) the original. These must be mandatory for the electro-mechanical curriculum.

This manages to both make fun of the thing and be the thing at the same time. That's really impressive writing. Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is.

@baylinkdashyt

Жыл бұрын

Oh: "But that's not important now."

@PhillipRhodes

Жыл бұрын

> Oh, and it seems much much longer than the 6 minutes it actually is. That's just the fluoroeffective macro-temporal-transposer effect. It shunts time through the Dreyfus Shaft and photo-retrospectively transluminates the effervescent flow.

@jonathanmosebach2921

11 ай бұрын

That's due to The Helvetic Scenario, due to the panoramic fan, due to the fumbling of the grammeters!

Finally, an encabulator with a built-in X-Wing targeting display!

@OVER-bENGINEERED

Жыл бұрын

It also has what looks like a Death Star staggering display.

it's the encabulator the world deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

Tight conniption fit. I'm glad to see they've finally effectively addressed side fumbling.

@kevCarrico

5 ай бұрын

it’s about time!

Good to know Sans makes the reduction of side fumbling a high priority, especially when you consider the impact it has on postcoital capacitance and the non-barometric wainscoting associated with granmeter synchronization. Well done, Sans!

@BOBXFILES2374a

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. The next iteration includes the barometric enfabulator drive.

@mezmerizer0266

Жыл бұрын

And, the sock drawer!

@WilbertLek

Жыл бұрын

Just don't feed it after midnight...

@francescaa8331

Жыл бұрын

It is good to know. So many concerns about the side fumbling in previous encabulators. Sure, they thought they had addressed it with the retroencabulator, but we all know better.

I remember when my father bought an encabulator back in 1984. It was the model 86, the most common model that pretty much every household had at some point. My dad used it to invest in the stock market and iron his tie. I used it to do my homework and play tabletop games with my friends. My mom used it to make coffee, but as this was a home model it did have side fumbling, which led to the occasionally infrequent caffeinated spillage. It was the best money my father ever spent as it lasted us until 2008, at which point it was heavily outdated. Sure it wasn't the industrial version as used by incorporated corporations, but it served us well. I never knew they were on the mass market in the 50s, I always figured they reached the home market in the early 80s, or possibly very late 70s. Glad to see rockwell automations legacy continue on into the future.

@Jarl_Thidrandi

Жыл бұрын

You hang on to that with your life, the 82 to 87 models have the best transmoidal stress transfer stagings, and I've heard they don't require the more expensive spurving bearings manufactured in the same quanta as the oscilation hysker flanges. You can buy the singular production spurving bearings they made in eastern europe before the wall fell, and those are a fraction of the price since they do not require allignment of the magnetic resonance tube to capture the EMGL-7 particles. They would simply cure them in a pool of sigmoidal nuetron gel, which was then exposed to a nuetronic doping beam and the particles would meld with the outer 1/17th, rather than being "kelvin baked" into the very atomic structure at absolute 0, like the more expensive spurving bearings of the west. They might not last as long, but you do not need matching sets to achieve magnetic resonance.

@rare.and.important.content

Жыл бұрын

I remember those early low-spec encabulator configurations which weren't equipped with side fumbling stabilizers. Lost a good colleague to a spatial coffee anomaly, fumbling stabilizers should have been stock equipment and not a high-spec option. Machine made good coffee though, so I can't really complain.

@annoyingenough6518

7 ай бұрын

The home models lacked the hydrocoptic marzlevanes that was added to prevent side fumbling? TIL

Thank you so much for this. You have gifted me with enough technobabble to keep my boss confused for at least the next ten years!

@kevCarrico

6 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

I’m a security professional, and the inflagration of the VMS (Vibratron motional system) within the SOC is a big benefit for bipedal phlanges. Awesome. Can’t wait to see the interspace between the mapping for camera call ups too

@Banten

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your service.

@renegade_patriot

Жыл бұрын

If you need spare vibrators for the Vibratron I know a supplier.

@goglowdaddy1686

Жыл бұрын

And indeed, Kosckiuskos theorem revolves through metastatic ketonic aegeum.

@MrMagnaniman

Жыл бұрын

I'm a little miffed that this new model doesn't have the reiterative phase capitation features that have, traditionally, been bundled with the recombinant viscosity matrix. But, hey, what do I know? I'm just a lawnmower security mechanic that encabulates 60+ hours a week.

"Stackabe, DIN Rack-able, Unhackable" is a truly kickass slogan for a high-security datacenter hardware supplier.

A relentless, flawless, unrelenting and unending tirade of nonsense. Respect

I have zero idea what more than half of these words mean, but i sure am glad to see his face and hear his casual explanation of something i have no knowledge about.

Mike is a living legend in the Encabulator industry.

@kevCarrico

Жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/k5eOqtWYY6zHedI.html

very cool that rockwell is once again putting effort into encabulation. I know GE's Turboencabulator was a real competitor in this space but this new Hyperencabulator seems like it's going to change the game for encabulation

@Peron1-MC

9 ай бұрын

they sure produce quality products. they havent made an ad since the 80s because everyone instantly jumped on the trend so they didnt sell anymore until now, where we all needed replacements.

F, yeah... I need this in my life, every year, if not, then daily!.. this is pure gold.

The handsome ransomware hypervisor is a huge edition to this product!

A couple things: 1. I'm happy to know that the side fumbling issue has been completely resolved. I still ran into issues with the previous model around 300 encabulations per second. 2. You claim the primary modules of the hyperencabulator are stackable, dinracklable, and unhackable, but are they also unwhackable? 3. Im glad to see SANS continue to lead the industry in sinusoidal deplenaration with its state of the art dingle arm technology.

@zolartan4442

Жыл бұрын

You never want them unwhackable. You need to have at your ready your operational velocity driven physical enhancer.

@bobroberts2371

Жыл бұрын

Side fumbling actually exists. It is called " end play " in a mechanical system.

@bobroberts2371

Жыл бұрын

@@zolartan4442 What about that Waskley Wabbit?

I'm really enjoying the graphics on the HyperEncabulator. Makes me feel like we're going to be in the range of the rebel base soon.

You don't know how many decades I've been sick and tired of all my clouds breaking. Now, finally I can have them all bend with ease. What a godsend!

thank you for addressing my concerns. I was aware of the problems of side-fumbling in previous encabulators, so it's a relief to see it fixed in this new model!

Encabulation technology has made some amazing advancements over the years. Side fumbling is finally a thing of the past, what a time to be alive!

@a_d_a_m

Жыл бұрын

hold on to your papers!!

@johnbrennan592

Жыл бұрын

The advent of the lunar wayneshaft spelt its end of days

@EinherjarLucian

Жыл бұрын

It's entirely owing to the maintenance of tolerances allowing a tight conniption fit.

If I were a social studies teacher, I would make the class watch this video, and tell them there will be a quiz.

Tears in my eyes, this is so funny. Whenever it feels like a given malapropism is a bit too on the nose or doesn't fit otherwise, there comes a line that's just solid gold moments after.

The tight-conniption-fit got me. Well played.

this literally answered all questions i had about encabulation - and they even included the piece about side-fumbling! Impressive, this product will take humanity into the next age

It’s a relief to learn that side-fumbling has been addressed.

@seriusblacc

7 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂