"Who's shootin me in the leg I wonder quietly to myself?..." kills me every time.

"'Who's shooting me in the leg?'" I wonder quietly to myself. "Oh, that guy." *POW!* Never turn around.

i rarely laugh at comedy but i could not help but laugh at this, it is hilarious

Been in California since the 70s and it gets crazier every year. It's becoming like Bizarro World, where everything right is wrong and everything wrong is right. God help us all.

We need that express lane more than ever these days. Nation wide.

@tylercarrell

Жыл бұрын

Yeah why should we have to pay more in taxes to feed these people for life that should’ve got the death penalty

God Bless Texas!

@angelabakloyvovtchaikovsky1609

3 жыл бұрын

No to american culture

@kdm187

2 жыл бұрын

@@angelabakloyvovtchaikovsky1609 mef head

It' weird how Ron White can just cut to the point.....AND it's funny! Our most top rated politicians can't find a point with both hands and they are fuckin' boring!

I had just bought a nightclub in Dallas, TX. I just walked in the door and went up to the bar. There was a young man sitting at the bar with "6" watered down drinks in front of him. I asked the bartender to meet me in the liquor room (storage). "What the hell are you doing over serving him? You will get us shut down on my first night here. He explained: Someone had been trolling through the neighhoods and raping very young women (ages from 12 -16 yrs old). He hid behind trees and shrubs all night at times UNTIL the guy finally showed up. He was jimming (sp?) a window open when he caught him. He shot him....Yep he was dead. He only served 1 yr in a Texas Prision; and was very protected by the Officers in charge. The officers really didn't have to do that...the other prisoners protected him also. That young man never paid or a drink the entire 1 1/2 yrs I owned that bar...nor did he have to drive home drunk. There was always someone to take him home.

@timtremblay8601

8 жыл бұрын

Been on twitter Elaine, sorry for the delay~!

@ELAINEMORRIS1

8 жыл бұрын

Tigonis Yesis LOL, is Twitter plural for Tweet?

@ELAINEMORRIS1

8 жыл бұрын

+Tigonis Yesis LOL...YOu hsoudl be a comedy writer.

@ELAINEMORRIS1

8 жыл бұрын

+Tigonis Yesis Whadda ya mean, I suck? LOL

@ELAINEMORRIS1

8 жыл бұрын

+Tigonis Yesis LOL...You are naughty"

Honest straightforward down to earth outstanding humor.

So... for context I remember seeing this same bit performed at Just For Laughs in Montreal years ago. It got a huge laugh (I mean, his delivery is just really REALLY good), but the audience reaction was a bit different. Here, the audience cheered the Texas death penalty law and the whole "kill you back" concept. Like, they're laughing because he's funny, but also agree with the general concept. Whereas in Montreal, it was mostly just laughing at the absurdity of the situation. I don't know what this says about the difference between conservative comedy and liberal comedy, but what it does tell me is Ron White is so funny that he can bridge that kind of political divide that seems impossible nowadays.

A liberal was arguing with me about the death penalty asked "What about crazy people who don't understand what is going on?" Just tell them they're getting a haircut when you sit them in the chair.

@tessarix

6 жыл бұрын

teejay LMAO! Thanks for the good belly laugh, brother!

@theresaschieffelbein2664

5 жыл бұрын

Lmao!!!

@purodeathcore

5 жыл бұрын

this made me laugh harder than I'd like to admit lmao😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@jackadams3878

Жыл бұрын

"what about crazy people who dont understand what's going on?" what about the pregnant mother they cut up into little pieces? fuck that guy.

Every state should have the "express lane".

In Texas, we have the death penalty and we... USE IT!!!

@DJK-cq2uy

5 ай бұрын

Wow@! U think of that urself?😂😂😂😂 clown 🤡

well said Ron, Well Said.

So freakin' good, I've got tears :D

California can learn a thing or two from TEXAS....

@JeffRogers99

8 жыл бұрын

+Dan Nav what how to go back 200 years in time?

@pauljohnson3340

8 жыл бұрын

More like having individual freedoms, no state income tax, affordable living, and most importantly, a governor who is not a complete libtard idiot buffoon. I would move to TX in a heartbeat if I could. CA is a nightmare. I know people who live there who want out desperately.

@morganharris2413

8 жыл бұрын

+Jeff Rogers Texas beats the shit out of Cali. And I have family in Cali.

@kamenridernephilim

7 жыл бұрын

No Texas takes away further liabilities for society by keeping rapists, murders, terrorists, and arsonists in their place you twit. That place is six feet under to be worm chow. Every dead Neathderal is less acts of atrocity committed against other inmates, police, court and government officials, and correct officers.

@MrMacman71

7 жыл бұрын

I have a question for all you Texans. How come Texas prisons have guys who are serving LIFE sentences for Marijuana?

"Hey guys, we found the guys that plotted the attacks on 9/11 what should we do?" "Eh, put them in this jail cell, we'll give them free food and pay our money to keep them alive." "Oh ok, that sounds like a good plan!"

@mr.t6712

4 жыл бұрын

With free health care.

I live in Texas, and I can tell u what, that 15 year waiting period for the chair is over jack. We have spot right at the front of the line just got u

@DowntownJulieB

3 күн бұрын

Did that get put into law? I think that should be a law everywhere.

Instead of shooting them in the leg, tap their shoulder and say "excuse me".

Regarding the death penalty: Pros: 1. Prevents criminals from escaping/being released to commit more crimes. 2. Closure for grieving families. 3. Taxpayers don't have to pay to sustain the lives of criminals. Cons: 1. Too harsh for some crimes (obviously wouldn't do it to a mere petty thief). 2. Not harsh ENOUGH for others - let rapists starve in a single cell PACKED with other rapists. Nothing is cut-and-dried; this is not a decision to make lightly.

@jackadams3878

Жыл бұрын

Cons: From time to time, and this is important, we kill people who it turns out didn't do what we killed them for. and nothing happens to the people who made the decision to do so. and as for pro 3, it is actually more expensive to sentence them to death and carry out the sentence, than it is to imprison them for life.

@jackstewart2258

4 ай бұрын

​@@jackadams3878its not just from time to time since 1973 196 people have been exonerated after thier execution and that number is estimated to be much higer but we could never know that.

I love Ron White, he cracks me the fuck up!

In TEXAS, you mess with the Bull, you get the horns... 🐂 🇨🇱... 🕶️🚬...

In New Hampshire public hangings are still legal. Live free or die. God bless New Hampshire.

@user-fd3ql1mp3c

8 жыл бұрын

Most boring state in the U.S. Hell I'd rather live in Alaska

@TheCunningStunt

8 жыл бұрын

let me know when it's you, I'll buy a ticket.

@ELAINEMORRIS1

7 жыл бұрын

What do you mean by boring?

@benpressly200

7 жыл бұрын

I'm from NH , that shit hasn't happened ever even if it is on the books

@benpressly200

7 жыл бұрын

+Ben Pressly the law that is

That is the sad truth about California. It don't care bout the death penalty, all it cares bout is convictions. Now the prison systems are running out of places to put people........ my guess is if they would use the death penalty they wouldn't have that problem.... but I am for it. I believe there are some sick and twisted people that just need to go

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

A Sizeable portion of Prison space in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona... is taken up with Out of state Prisoners from California. California pays other states to house their overcrowding.

@rebelborn194

9 жыл бұрын

Cg23sailor seems kind of stupid to do that doesn't it? If the death penalty was used, and not just a threat, then thing would b better off

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

All of California would be better off if they'd just kick the Liberals the hell out of power.

@rebelborn194

9 жыл бұрын

Cg23sailor y not go and get rid of everyone and start from scratch

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

Rebel Born I hope you're being facetious. Otherwise that statement is just too fucking stupid to comment on. I'll leave it to you to figure out why. If you can.

Damn! He's good! "I wonder quietly to myself."

Well bless your heart.

Damn I couldn't live in Texas because of the hot weather. I live at 8400 feet elevation in Colorado where we had a freeze last night which is awesome. I do love the politics and friendly people though that make up Texas!

@DowntownJulieB

3 күн бұрын

I live in Phoenix where it's 118°F and sometimes even hotter.

God bless Texas....

express lane 😆😆😆

People would have more confidence in death penaly convictions if prosecutors,judges or police officers were EVER charged for misconduct.

they have been on a roll the last few years!!

For a punishment to be an effective deterrent, it must be carried out in more than a few cases and in a timely manner. I know that if I kill someone in most states, I have a very high chance of never receiving the death penalty. And even if I do, I could probably appeal my way out of it. If we actually used the death penalty (and it took less than 45yrs to get it done for people who are sentenced to it), trust me, it would become a deterrent.

@GarioTheRock

3 жыл бұрын

You are unfamiliar with a little something known, to some, as: "organized crime".

@ChristopherHallett

2 жыл бұрын

What you don't seem to get is that nobody commits a crime expecting to get caught.

@peterpeterson4800

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChristopherHallett Or they aren't thinking at all.

You got to love it. Houston strong baby

God bless Texas!

hope you can reach that goal. I understand.

read what rebel born wrote...

@Black874Diamond what do you mean wrong, I have the Blue Collar Comedy Tour #3 watched it the other day, and this was on it.

With the death penalty I can GUARANTEE you that your children will NEVER be molested, raped, killed or kidnapped by the bad guy. I know you cannot guarantee anything with rehab. I believe in making sure that our kids have the best chance. It's just a difference of opinion on how to handle people who wish to kill your children.

Simply ask a convicted murderer if IT wants the death penalty or life in prison with no chance of parole. This is so everyone is happy with the situation, no cruel and unusual punishment if IT agreed to either or. If life, one half hour of news to watch the world go by, one book a week, no visitors, no human contact, because he kills humans, three square meals a day watching his health so IT lives out IT’S normal life in solitary confinement. This is warehousing only, because it may actually be cheaper than executing IT.

@scottshafer3044

5 жыл бұрын

So should murderers ask their victims if they want to be murdered? Flawed logic...or bait.

AMEN!!!!!

what show is this from? just for laughs?

@chevycountryboy513 I actually did some research on the cost issue. I found that the whole process of execution (capital trial, penalty phase, death row imprisonment, actual execution) is MUCH more of a burden to taxpayers than locking up a man in regular confinement for 40 to 50 years. Don't get me wrong though, I love Ron White. Seen him live once

@nomadpi1

10 ай бұрын

It ain't about money. It's about justice. The punishment should fit the crime's consequences. Got that lizard lover?

Love it

against the death penalty myself. not for the normal reasons though. Basicly, I think putting someone to death is too easy on them. one quick needle and its painlessly over. I say keep em alive where we can properly punish them. Maybe send them to a prison famous for big guys named Bubba or something. We don't know if there is a afterlife to punish them for sure, but we sure as hell know we can punish them here.

@mariondawson3532

5 жыл бұрын

Hes so funny

I wish there was a "love" button!

You really have to admire Texas for actually taking the death penalty seriously. California actually has a MUCH higher murder rate than Texas, and believe me, there's a reason for that. Gotta love Texas!

Hell yeah!!!!

when you record off the tv make sure to check the volume and hold the camera still

There are many people that are so objection-able, that they really have no place in society. Then, why should tax money go to their prison time when there are people who may be rehabilitated with that prison cell.

I look forward to observing texas one day.

He is very good

Fire Up "OLD SMOKEY"!!!!!!!!!!!,,,Thanks,Jack

Too bad Scott Peterson didn't live in Dallas

Love texas

I’m in CA, hate it completely. I hear TX is cicling the bowl, Expat CAs are ruining it now. Great routine Ron!

I just think that if you maliciously take another human being's life (that doesn't include self-defense), yours is forfeit. What gives you the right to keep on living when you've taken someone else's life away? And I feel the need to specify that that's a rhetorical question, beause every person peacefully expressing their opinion gets attacked on the internet.

@K3vin_L

Жыл бұрын

Thats only applied when it benefits you, if a guy maliciously hunts down a rapist or a racist or whatever, you'd agree with him. Remember, all laws and opinions are thrown out the window when a crime benefits you.

And let us not forget the "Thou shalt not kill part".

@kawasakiwhiptwo5821

6 жыл бұрын

Kverul an eye for an eye,a tooth for a tooth. don't spare the rod. live by the sword,die by the sword.

@kimraudenbush427

Жыл бұрын

And let's also not forget the EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH part.

@rs72098

Жыл бұрын

"Thou shall not murder." Is the more correct translation.

@844trainman Im sorry to hear that somebody tried to rob you! But here in Denmark we have burglars as well, and we have murders, rapists and gangs. Be its a lot harder to get a hold of a firearm here in Denmark, which results in less paranoia, and less crime. If you had shot a burglar here in Denmark, you would be looking at some serious jail time.

i know i'm late to the argument....but the bible specifically has punishment for things like murder. Multiple felons are sentenced to punishments based on their transgression. So using "christianity" as a reason to not have a death sentences is self defeating.

I also agree that its beyond disgusting to make the surviving family members who are victims and should be counted as such t is beynd disgusting to make them wait years for resolution while these killers get appeal after appeal on the dimes of us and also the families of the ones they slaughtered 1 appeal is all you should be allowed then that's it and that is only if there is a good cause like evidence they got the wrong person and it has to be concrete evidence

@aprildannettegosa5381

5 жыл бұрын

this one case i heard recently a man raped a 3-month-old baby to death and he was executed and after certain groups were crying how inhumane his death was! REALLY? HE VIOLATED A 3-MONTH-OLD TO DEATH SHE HAD NO SELF DEFENSE NO LAWYERS TO PLEAD THAT HER DEATH WAS INHUMANE NOT TIL IT WAS TOO LATE AND THE PROSECUTION DID IT THAT IS sorry to shout I agree with Ron i am just no comic

@geek62959 Since my attempt to access the site you cited was a dud, I'd like you to enlighten the more impatient folks here - is your source referring to overall costs or per-year costs? Because when I had to make the argument either way in an economics class, the overall numbers I found favored capital punishment, but the per-year numbers (the ones that matter more to things like budgets) were against it. (I think the numbers I had were even from a site that FAVORED the death penalty.)

YES.......YES.......BOOM.....much love Tee with LIONS NAMED LEO

You can start shooting them in the leg untill they turn around LMAO

Why be so quick? Seems the POS needs a little personal treatment, maybe two to three weeks worth.

@WestOfTheMysticMoon MAN, DID YOU EVER HIT THE PROVERBIAL NAIL ON THE HEAD! ! ! !

im glad im TEXAN

Texas...... we are the greatest country on earth!

@KMAN8599

2 жыл бұрын

Well your not!!!🤣🤣🤣

@chevycountryboy513 The problem with the arguments that tax dollars should not be spent on these heinous individuals is that it costs more to pay for a capital punishment trial than it does to imprison a criminal for life, including in Texas. deathpenaltyinfo(dot)org/costs-death-penalty-costs-texas-outweigh-life-imprisonment

@nym685 that may be true, but the increased use of the death penalty might deter some of the criminals from commiting the crime in the first place. and i say MIGHT, because i actually have no fucking idea if it would work or not, but its a start.

Love you!!!!!!!

Hi there

Who criminals the right to kill rape mutilate kidnap innocent people... Why should tax dollars pay for these evil people to continue to love when our country Is in enough debt...

God bless Texas ❤

Hell yeah! Gotta love Texas :)

Facts

@Harrymfink no it only leaves you blind, we will still see.

They just abolished the death penalty in Connecticut . . .another Kennedy must have drove a woman over a bridge into a river while drunk driving.

Don't place the blame, son. It's easy that way, but it ain't honest.

@WestOfTheMysticMoon AMEN

@baldurus1 and the other option?

Why is the discussion about it not being a deterrent even had. No, it's not a deterrent ... so f-ing what ... IT IS A PUNISHMENT!!! I could not give a damn about it's effectiveness as a deterrent. That NEVER should have been the point.

You actually recorded this off the TV and then posted it on KZread why did you do that

@janbianucci3823

4 жыл бұрын

Steve Jenkins What's the big deal. Get over it, Steve-O!

does anyone know if aggressive death penalty laws prevent murder or is it difficult to say since Texas probably always had the death penalty?

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

Does the Death Penalty prevent murder? Well... I have yet to see one murderer who ever received the Death Penalty ever commit another murder, ever again. So... Yeah.

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

Or any other crime for that matter. Rehabilitation rate for Death Penalty is 100%. No one who has received it ever commits ANY crime ever again.

@ELAINEMORRIS1

7 жыл бұрын

I have an interesting true story that happened in Texas. I had just bought a nightclub and walking in for the first time. There was a young man sitting at the bar with 3-4 watered down drinks. I introduced myself as the new owner, and asked the bartender to meet me in the iiquor room. I said: "What the hell are you doing! He has watered down drinks in front of him and you just put down TWO brand new drinks! He explained. The young man lived in a neighborhood in Texas where young girls were being raped. He hid behind the bushes and waited. The rapist came through again! It was about 6:00 pm. summertime. The little girls were still out playing. HE watched the rapist grab her, and he shot him. He was in a jail NOT a prison. He served 3 months and was set free. The stories you hear are true. NO Prisoners like rapists of little girls. He was protected while in prison.

@liver20001 i support the death penalty, i just wish some things in the justice system would change. It would cost more to kill than to keep alive which i think is crazy!!The government needs to change.

Death penalty is starting to sound good if it's a killer on death row

That's a thumbs down for the crappy picture quality.

Guess that Texas express lane is getting pretty full right about now. Just saying.

Cold

Interesting

God Bless Texas

@KatieStalvatore13 do they?? I thought they used lethal injection

Wish we had the death penalty in Canada, and an express lane...

I never believed in the death penalty, until I watched a lot of true crime stories. Instead of paying $30,000 to $60,000 a year to keep these death row types alive, I say give the people they offended a choice! And, make them work! Some definitely deserve it, and some do not. One woman because a very good person, but sorry to say Bush had to go with the law. I felt badly for her. I do not want innocent people to die...some are in there wrongly, thank goodness DNA came along.

@jackadams3878

Жыл бұрын

yeah. thank god for dna. too bad we killed some of those poor innocent bastards, and are STILL killing poor innocent bastards.

Name on TOP Line Court

Elevin after three am

The death penalty ensures the cretin doesn't do it again.

Ron White may be a stand up comedian but he’s got more sense in his pinky finger than any of our elected officials in Washington DC! Ron Whit for President 2024!

@redvue04

8 ай бұрын

Some advice; the person you are endorsing for President, you should probably spell his name right.

@WestOfTheMysticMoon I know this is asking a lot but could come to california convince people by repeating what you just said, people are idiots over here when it comes to the judicial system or any political decision for that matter...

Penalty for all crimes should be either fine beating or death,save the working ppls dollars..I guarantee if someone assaulted someone and got beat with a whip or cane over it they would think 100 times before doing it again..jail is a 1 star hotel where you can learn new tricks and talk to ppl exactly like yourself

The only reason why the death penalty wouldn't be a deterrent because the murderers are not afraid or convinced by it. Some murderers may even *want* to die, but in a way that they could suddenly wreak havoc for their own selfishness. The Constitution doesn't allow "cruel and unusual punishment", and I bet a lot of us would implement such!

@jehrkth

10 жыл бұрын

Unless you've read the mind of every murderer that has been around since you were born,it's silly for you to say that they all are not afraid to die. If that were true how come there are so many unsolved murder cases,why didn't all the murderers in those cases come forward and say "I did it."? Finally,this country would be able to spend money on music programs for kids and other worthwhile things if they didn't have to feed,clothe,shelter,etc. cold blooded killers for life.You do not have common sense on your side of the argument so I won't bother reading your reply,have a nice life and I hope you never have someone you love be murdered,although it may be the only way to wake you up.

@Cakoonce06

10 жыл бұрын

I'm pro death penalty, but I don't think it's a deterrent. I think we could do a better job investigating the case before we send somebody to death. I think everybody (not talking about insanity cases) knows what the law is and things are punishable by death but I think a majority of the people who commit a criminal homicide with aggravating circumstances don't think about the consequences while they are committing the crime... Like when people break petty laws (compared to murder) like speeding. I know it's against the law, yet when I speed or don't completely stop at a stop sign. I don't think "I could get a ticket. I better behave." I think, "watch out for cops and get to where you need to go" So nah, I don't believe it's a deterrent, but I support it as a punishment for certain crimes.

@Agent1W

10 жыл бұрын

Mark Bettencourt So logically, if a murderer is afraid to die, then why would he replicate that fear on those he harms? Only at the point where you forfeit your life completely do you realize that other lives are forfeit as well. That's the tried-and-true pathology of any common murderer and I'm talking about the premeditated kind and not the passionate. If you don't think I have common sense, then you know nothing about our crime and punishment system and probably should be recused from participating in civic duty in that regard, due to "incompetence".

@Cg23sailor

9 жыл бұрын

It's not so much about deterrence as it is insuring that animal never has a chance to commit further crimes ever again. If it deters others, good. Besides the whole argument against it due to lack of deterrence is a biased and false one anyways. You can always point to a capital crime and say, "See? He wasn't deterred". But the number of crimes that were deterred is impossible to know BECAUSE THEY NEVER OCCURRED! I guarantee you one thing though. Any who do receive the death penalty. Never commit any crime ever again. In that regard it has a 100% success rate.