My all time favorite Ron White quote will forever be "I had the right to remain silent....But I didn't have the ability."

@deveryshepardson3640

4 жыл бұрын

I love that one too, but I gotta go with “...stupid is forever...”

@Kevin-hn6wp

2 жыл бұрын

@@deveryshepardson3640 Yah , you can't fix stupid .

@nartarlyiatremaynne1239

Жыл бұрын

I concur with your sentiment 100% Australia 2022

@paulfolson7724

Жыл бұрын

“How far can the plane make it on one engine?” “All the way to the scene of the crash”

@sappygirl1955

Жыл бұрын

I love that quote, too!😂

“…[T]hey were stopping every vehicle traveling down that particular sidewalk.” 😂🤣😂

@jdmarsh91

Ай бұрын

And that's profiling. Which is wrong

“I don’t think so Scooter...” Pure gold!🤣🤣🤣

He’s told this story for about 20 years and it’s still funny

@runoz2839

Жыл бұрын

😆😆😆ALWAYS!!! 😆😆😆

@gwncih1

Жыл бұрын

I heard it in 1991 at the Addison, Tx Improv

@gwncih1

Жыл бұрын

Also heard it in Irving, Texas last night

@TransRoofKorean

Жыл бұрын

@@gwncih1 Seriously? that's nuts! the idea that one can write one joke... certainly he's improved it since then, don't get me wrong

@marilyntregwin1696

Жыл бұрын

It"s all about his persona and presentation

"You ever forget? Happened to me." This man truly understands the human condition.

@alexludavertigo6926

4 ай бұрын

1:51 🤣it’s a handy lil piece of information to halve right there

My favorite line, “ I don’t know how many it’s going to TAKE to whip my ass, but I know how many they’re going to USE!!” 😂😂😂😂😂

@AnonYmous-mc5zx

2 жыл бұрын

It's a handy little peice of information to have.

@Captain_Dick_Swett

23 күн бұрын

That's a great chorus for a country song I'll tell you what

Saw him live last night on his farewell tour and right at the end he thanked everyone for his long career and he got a standing ovation and as soon as everyone settled down this man lit his cigar took a long drag looked at the crowd for second then took a sip of his tequila and gazed out at the crowd like a old gun slinger and said “i got thrown out of bar in New York City” and the place erupted. Amazing talent amazing man long live Ron White aka Tater Salad

@hadisonbates

Жыл бұрын

He did it Friday night. His 2nd to last show lol same reaction from the crowd. Bet that never gets old

@TransRoofKorean

Жыл бұрын

pretty legendary; close to impossible to put together a better routine than this one (there are 2.6k people who have downvoted this atm, whaaaat ???)

@Hyggyldy

Жыл бұрын

That had to be something truly special.

@718Gilbert

7 ай бұрын

Didn't he quit drinking?

@user-pz3nn4eu2t

4 ай бұрын

I love Love LOVE Ron White. ❤

i got a drunk in public ticket one time and this was literally the defense my lawyer used. "He wasn't in public, until he was forced into public" it actually worked.

@GizmoRob176

3 жыл бұрын

You can thank Ron "TaterSalad" White.

@Bayougirl78

2 жыл бұрын

The old "Tater Loophole" Lol

@michaelbenson8529

2 жыл бұрын

That story was hilarious

@bobberto3399

2 жыл бұрын

Uncle had a similar charges dropped. Its what's know as the tater clause.

@Ethernet480

2 жыл бұрын

Judge is a tater salad fan

The telegraph gag is what gets me. "If you knew Morse Code you'd already know that."

"The only way we can tell down south if they have their hair cut like... yours" lmao

“I don’t wanna be drunk in pub-lic I wanna be drunk in a goddamn bar” he does have a point

@chrisnichols4478

Жыл бұрын

In Virginia, you can be sitting in your own living room, drunk...if you happen to have your front door open where someone driving or walking by can see you...that's drunk in public

@terribeauchamp7266

Жыл бұрын

And when he got thrown out of the bar he was hurled out.🤣

@Blaze-cr2iu

4 ай бұрын

@@chrisnichols4478that’s utterly stupid, how does that make any sense 😂 even if the door is open you’re on your own property in your house. I could never live there being Irish, I’d be drinking on my porch on a nice day.

@chrisnichols4478

4 ай бұрын

@@Blaze-cr2iu Preaching to the choir, buddy..i don't think it gets enforced very often, but its a law

Ron The White is one of the best storytellers

“They were stopping every vehicle traveling down that particular sidewalk” DEAAAD😂

@briank06261973

5 жыл бұрын

And that's profiling.

@carmelcandy6286

5 жыл бұрын

Give me a minute to catch my breath after that joke!!!

@codyschleth8929

5 жыл бұрын

Annie Hewitt amazing.

How long can we fly with one engine? All the way to the scene of the crash! Always loved your sense of humor and down to earth delivery Ron.

Only Ron could spin a public drunk arrest in NYC into career.

"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability." LOL! AND the "Tater Salad" story! LOVE IT!

This guy is genuinely funny. His personna is so authentic. I don't know what he'd be doing if he didn't have a job that he could drink while doing it.

@naomiemoore5725

Жыл бұрын

Had a completely different profession and I always had a bottle of something in my office. On random Friday mornings we would do shots with coffee. No matter what hell we were put through that day, it went a little better.

"Hey....they THREW ME into pub...lic" Best defense ever :)

@lilaznbltz

8 жыл бұрын

"I don't wanna be drunk in public, I wanna be drunk in th' goddamn bar. Arrest them!!"

@tonycompton4313

5 жыл бұрын

This has happened to me the the cops told me I was drunk in public in the bar before they drug me out of the bar and then told me I was drunk in public isn't that what bars are for is to get drunk

@sammyrobinson7537

5 жыл бұрын

C h

@LibbyRal

4 жыл бұрын

@@tonycompton4313 , kinda makes me wonder why people get arrested for doing something lewd in a porn theater. Isn't that the point?

@trinityphillips2508

4 жыл бұрын

Sara Connor Yes sir!

Ron's impersonation of a New York City bouncer is priceless!!

@lilafeldman8630

2 жыл бұрын

I felt the same way!

“This guy lived 4 doors down from me in a town with less than 400 people.....we’ve met” that line always gets me

@hjhgaming8634

3 жыл бұрын

Growing up ten miles from Fritch, Texas I can attest to that being true

@DinsdalePiranha67

3 жыл бұрын

I didn't grow up in a town quite as small, but most of us knew most of the rest of us.

@doughesson

3 жыл бұрын

@@DinsdalePiranha67 For a while,I lived in a Kentucky town that was so small,the dentist & proctologist was the same guy. If you scheduled your dental work first thing in the morning,you were generally okay.

@tysparks598

2 жыл бұрын

@@DinsdalePiranha67 same. When I go back, no matter where I go I run into someone I know. My GF said, "You must have been pretty popular?" & I said, "There's a difference between popular & notorious. I'm the latter."

@glendagoodewright3438

2 жыл бұрын

After living in a small town as a kid, this really made me smile 🤩

Mr. Ron White I just want to say THAN YOU for your many years of stand up comedy. You gave me many laughs over the years. Enjoy your retirement and your family

I don't know how many it would have taken to whip my ass, but I knew how many they were gonna use. Best line.

@newtoncountry5937

7 жыл бұрын

That's a handy little piece of information to have right there

@comettamer

6 жыл бұрын

I like "Six bouncers hurled me out of a nightclub like i was a Frisbee!"

@barbarahill2202

6 жыл бұрын

reminds me of Panama City police dept

@georgecobble5688

5 жыл бұрын

When your outnumbered in a fight.. I have heard it said " A good run is better than a bad stand " .

@cawilliamsify

5 жыл бұрын

...turns out they were stopping everyone that was traveling down that particular sidewalk that day. That's profiling ... and profiling is wrong

Ron White is a great story teller, plain and simple. A rare thing indeed.

I only just discovered Ron White tonight.....I have to say he's had me in hysterical laughter!

@michaeledmond2367

2 жыл бұрын

Hello Mandy How are you. I hope you are doing ok. I saw your comment here am a fan, am hoping we can both get to know each other and be friends what do you think.

I don't think so scooter! And I was wrong! 😂

@d.g.6147

6 жыл бұрын

"Fff-....Scooter!"

@Fduthoy

3 жыл бұрын

Best

@michaelwallbrown3726

3 жыл бұрын

i would have called him "skippy"

I remember watching this guy on Comedy Central when I was young and when the channel was worth watching.

@LdRfilmz

7 жыл бұрын

Snake being when the channel was worth watching....boy that was a while back eh?

@snakebeing756

7 жыл бұрын

I was in elementary school by then.

@joshuar9560

4 жыл бұрын

Oh yeah, I remember seeing uncensored south park in the middle of the day.

@1218jmm

3 жыл бұрын

Back when they had comedy on it.

@MartinChaudhry

3 жыл бұрын

The Man Show ftw

18 years and this still holds

Never gets old…They got the tater.

I remembered this story at work yesterday, and couldn't stop laughing - then I couldn't just explain to anyone what I was laughing at, and all I could cough through was "Tater Salad", lol

@tituscelani5546

2 жыл бұрын

I respect this

@DavidTerryTAEC

9 ай бұрын

@@tituscelani5546 I represent this.

@user-pz3nn4eu2t

4 ай бұрын

Not only is Ron White hilarious, but he's extremely sexy. Best looking heavy-set man on earth! I love him. ❤

@user-cm8lq9jd8y

4 ай бұрын

I 😍 LOVE LAUGHING LIKE THAT!!!! CANT BREATHE, HAVE TO PEE, CRYING HUGH TEARS, MOUTH OPEN NO NOISE, FOLLOWED BY UPROARIOUSLY UNCONTROLLED VOLUME❤❤❤❤❤ AND INHUMAN NOISES!!!!

This clip never gets old...lmfao

I've heard this bit so many times but it still makes me laugh.

Probably the best delivery in the business.

@brandoncrawford8638

6 жыл бұрын

Yes y

@glytzhkof

5 жыл бұрын

"Comedy is about timing and rhythm". Good timing & Rhythm: kzread.info/dash/bejne/gX2Hqdukf5nAZ7g.html Unperfected timing & Rhythm: kzread.info/dash/bejne/hHahzdOacrCzeZs.html

@honolulublues5548

3 жыл бұрын

Should be, he's been doing the same joke, with variations for nearly 40 years.

"I had the right to remain silent, but i didn't have the ability" Might be the best thing ever said by a comedian. EVER.

@richardhamblen5526

3 жыл бұрын

LOL, BEEN THERE, DID THAT..TOO!

@kriskoopr7207

2 жыл бұрын

Lol…we HAVE the ability to know you are absolutely CORRECT Scooter

@joewas2225

2 жыл бұрын

"Might be the best thing ever said by a comedian. EVER." I was a great line but nowhere near the best thing. You clearly don't know George Carlin & the great lines he's givin.

@donmork4306

2 жыл бұрын

Always True - no one has the ability

20 years from now it will still make me laugh. Long live the infamous Tater Salad fugitive!?!👍😎🇱🇷

Police: you are charged with drunk in pub-lic Me: no I was drunk in a bar these guys threw me into pub-lic I love the way they say public

@DinsdalePiranha67

3 жыл бұрын

Pub-LICKKKKK!

@sandrahumble2483

2 жыл бұрын

My favorite Comedian

One of my favorite lines of his is: "Don't you just love it when someone has a genuine problem, and then they attach a solution to it that doesn't have anything to do with the problem?"

"i dont think so scooter"😆

@icewing4621

4 жыл бұрын

They call me tater salad and I call my son tater tot

@chrisanderson2787

4 жыл бұрын

"I dont think so Scooter!....and i was wrong" 😂😂😂

@pokerKKcrushr

4 жыл бұрын

I laugh at that line everytime!

@mikeking8699

4 жыл бұрын

@@icewing4621 What's a ice wing

@icewing4621

4 жыл бұрын

@@mikeking8699 its from a book called wings of fire it's a dragon

"And he got all pissed." 🤣🤣😂😂

He’s a dam funny comedian. His style fits him perfectly

They were arresting everyone driving on the sidewalk that day and that's profiling

@MichaelS537

4 жыл бұрын

And profiling is wrong

@alexbent8412

3 жыл бұрын

Best part lmao i geeked at “sidewalk”

@brettparr1842

3 жыл бұрын

V JVM BRETT FAVRE B IN B IIJ BJSJEONSIS E IN E IN R KB RJR NRR IN E KB E IN E IN RED IN E ON E NS JE IN R NE KB E NE KB E KB E JD JSN SSN ESJE NR IN D IN R NR JE NE KB E JR R NR BEN IR J4 KB E JEJ

"I didn't know how many it was gonna take to whoop my ass... but I knew how many they were gonna use."

@scottwpilgrim

4 жыл бұрын

It's a handy little piece of information to have, right there.

This joke never fails to make me laugh no matter how often i hear it

" I don't think so scooter!" & I was wronnng" LMAO

I don't want to be drunk in public. I want to be drunk in a bar

@karldraughon9135

5 жыл бұрын

They threw me out of the bar

@LibbyRal

4 жыл бұрын

@Raymundo11 , very great. Best line in the whole routine when followed by 'they threw me into pub-blick. Arrest them officer'.

@icewing4621

4 жыл бұрын

I had the right to remain silent but didn't have the ability

@juliaturrentine2278

4 жыл бұрын

Matthew Eubanks which is perfectly legal...arrest them.

Ron White is 1 of my heroes of comedy.

Thank you tater salad White your comedy got me through a cross country road gig some years ago and this was one of many bits that kept me awake and driving but not always in a straight line from the laughter

“Go home and watch Roadhouse and beat off” LOL Totally reminds me of my days working in the bars. Good times, good people.

"I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability", been there !

@curiouscuriouser9402

5 жыл бұрын

Yep!

@howardfortyfive9676

5 жыл бұрын

Learned the HARD WAY how that goes!! *I wised up finally but it took 50+years. One could say "it's a process." He do have sum TERRIFIC ONE LINERS.....*

@chrismitchell3171

5 жыл бұрын

Me to, in a less then ideal way😂

"I had the right to remain silent...But I didn't have the ability."

@deepsix0063

7 жыл бұрын

the record

@sparklebutt1119

6 жыл бұрын

Heather Niles Best line ever. lol

@ChasBurnett

6 жыл бұрын

Heather Niles Male, because … In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. Female, because … No one but the original creator understands their internal logic. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. The message, “Bad command or filename”, is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.” The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

@ianoas7102

6 жыл бұрын

HookaSmokingCatapillar hahah yeah

@DANA-of5rz

6 жыл бұрын

lol

Love you Ron! My favorite comedian. You connect to your audience like no other. Hope I get to see you perform someday. Thanks for all the laughs brother.

2:18 "I refused to pay for it because _we_ broke it over _my_ thigh."

"I don't think so scooter" gets me every goddamn time!

I'm gonna make some prank calls and if they ask "Who is this?!" I'm gonna say, "They call me, Tater Salad!"

There's so many memorable and un believably hilarious quotes in this story😂

Love his jokes. Love where he says all the satellites are lining up.

I like this dude he's funny as shit.

@sumitKumar-oh3mj

6 жыл бұрын

Matthew Kealey

Blue Collar Comedy Tour...one of the best comedies ever...I actually laughed, and it's damn funny if I'm laughin!!

@ginaslawson

8 жыл бұрын

Lol righT? that's what I'm talking about

Bands save their biggest hit for the second encore. Ron White says "I got thrown out of a bar" and the crowd goes wild.

"I don't know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass...but I knew how many they were going to use. That's a handy little piece of information to have right there." 🤣

"Six bouncers hurled me out of a nightclub like i was a Frisbee!"

@Agent1W

3 жыл бұрын

*OVERKILL*.

I just got thrown out of a bar Saturday night and my dad told me to listen to this 😂

@jasondyrkacz8270

4 жыл бұрын

How many bouncers were used to toss you out like a Frisbee?

@Videographer1234567

2 жыл бұрын

what did you do to get thrown out?

@ericparrish1515

Жыл бұрын

Where's the list of shit you can't do in a bar? Is it long

Who were the 500+ people that gave this a thumbs down? He's one of the best comedians ever

@michaels9034

5 жыл бұрын

Those are the bouncers and their gay friends, lol.

@user-ss6zt2mo1l

5 жыл бұрын

Theresa Parsons 500 Gay NYC Bouncers

One of the best written bits of all time..

He has got to be one of the best comedy/actor/ALCOHOLIC there is. Ron White thanks for the laughs

One of the best of all time, right here

Why is absolutely hilarious Ron White is absolutely hilarious

Fuckin shit. This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite comedians of all time. I love this dude. Funny as fuck. I can laugh everytime I hear him. Dude kills everytime. Keep doing comedy Mr White.

They THREW me into pub-lic!! :D

@jimmyfisher5740

6 жыл бұрын

this one's for Momma

Ron White is a living comedic legend. Fellow Texan here. My wife has family from fritch, tx, but grew up in Dumas.

YOU GOT ME, YOU GOT THE, "TATER"... I THINK HE HAS MORE FUN TELLING HIS REAL LIFE HILARIOUS EVENTS/COMEDY SKIT THEN WE HAVE LAUGHING

SINNERS WILL REGRET EVER BEING BORN AND THE SOUL NEVER DIES

Dude. Seriously. The man's comedy is brilliant. Amazing story telling & delivery. SO good!

@neosthirdeye2291

2 жыл бұрын

4 yrs later: boring

Love him ! I could listen to him all night ! That smurk he has must get him in trouble all the time.

@kfarr3037

Жыл бұрын

That or plenty of women he's used it on to pick up by flashing it as them! Kinda like the cat that ate the canary - the whole "I've been up to something kinda borderline naughty but definitely fun, hilarious and memorable" look when he flashes that grin at you! 😁

Every time I get arrested I think of this story!!!LOL. "This part takes a while," "if you know Morse code you would know that." I do know Morse code and that is not what it said....lol

This is one of his best bits!!! Now there's a handy piece of information. I love using that line...

"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability" classic

"I had the right to remain silent..... but I didn't have the ability" too fuckin' funny. Been there. :)

I ❤this skit, & especially the part about "the cops stopping every car that was driving down the sidewalk". Man can I relate to that! MANY years ago when I was only 17, my dad lent me his car to drive that day. It was a Dodge Charger 383 w-metal flake gold paint & really sweet but idoled at 45mph. But if I so much as put a scratch on it, I wud NEVER be allowed to drive it again (&I knew it!) So I'm crusing (way to fast) down a busy street & messing w-th radio trying to find a cool song; when suddenly I look up & all I see are tail lights in both lanes of stopped cars. Knowing I did NOT hav time to stop, I swerved over a lane & jumped th curb & drove down th sidewalk! (Praying🙏 plez God don't let anyone walkout of one of th store fronts that I was blowing past). Problem was, once I was ON th sidewalk, I cudn't get back into th street; every 4 ft was either a tree, trashcan, street light, street sign, or something! I drove for 2 city blocks trying to get back onto th street until finally I came to th 4 way intersection & I just said: to Hell😈🌋 with it, I'm dead anyway if th cops catch me, so I'm GOING for it!!! & I layed on my horn & just jumped back into th street; cars were slamming on their brakes, spinning in donuts, honking their horns, & only by th grace of God not a car crashed! ...& not a cop saw me😁. When I got home that night my dad asked me if I had speeded, & I said: No daddy I drove so slow you wud hav thought I was driving on a sidewalk! He just gav me a funny look (I think he knew). 😉 moral: NEVER giv a crazy, young, stupid new driver a hotrod to drive🚘 Bad stuff can happen!

@kaystevens8428

Жыл бұрын

@Linda Brown-Shurge. You get my vote for "Winner of the Internet Today". This "skit" is one of my favorites from one of my favorites. I have seen it many times & still lol. I can honestly say that your story had me literally LMAO. Not only do I think it'd be a blast to hang w/ Ron, I feel the same about you now. Great story-telling. Stay safe funny lady

Never get tired of that bit.

“I got thrown out of a bar in New York City” - Ron White

@honolulublues5548

3 жыл бұрын

Also Ron White: "I got thrown out of a bar in Las Vegas". That was his original story. He added the police and "Tater Salad" parts later. He's been doing this joke for nearly 40 years.

Ron I have loved your show for year's and to nite I get to see you in person so happy I got tickets to your show for my birthday it is a dream come true for me !!! SO EXCITED!!!

@paleoprover8690

6 жыл бұрын

Shut your mouth you ignorant little kid browsing the internet.

@curiouscuriouser9402

5 жыл бұрын

Congratulations. I hope that you enjoyed it very much.

not many youtube videos can make me actually laugh, but this was funny as hell

This NEVER gets old!

I'll tell you what-the man knows how to spin a yarn. 🧶🥃

Your a comedy legend its helped me with my own depression and ptsd thanks for all your hard work

Still hilarious after all these years. I'd like to hang out with him and have a Scotch and a smoke. 💗

@theProdigy02

2 жыл бұрын

Would be fun but hes quit drinking now

@dawns.3000

2 жыл бұрын

@@theProdigy02 I didn't know that. Good for him!

@richardblankenship5481

Жыл бұрын

I just saw him at the Beau Rivage Casino in Biloxi MS and can confirm that he no longer drinks or smokes.

@dawns.3000

Жыл бұрын

@@richardblankenship5481 good for him! I checked him out on Twitter and he looks way healthier. I hope you had a great time at the show! 😎

Came here from the new Flagrant 2 episode with Bert This is amazing

"But he walked away and i took the hat off about an hour later ive been drinking and i forgot." "You ever forget ??....Happen to me." 🤣😂🤣😂

between 6'1 and 6'6 depending on which convience store I'm leaving :'-D

@WubbyPunch

5 жыл бұрын

Ryan Beers that’s because the stickers on the exit doors are never the same right? Is that the joke? Lol

@timyac

5 жыл бұрын

I don't get it

@CollectorsCorner777

5 жыл бұрын

This joke was way to smart for most people. The reason they have the height stickers is for when people are robbing a place they at least know how tall the suspect is. Get the joke now?

@timyac

5 жыл бұрын

@@CollectorsCorner777 But why would he be different heights at different convenience stores.

@doughesson

5 жыл бұрын

@@timyac Do you really think that the tape is installed on the wall using a yardstick?

I saw Ron LIVE in Ruiodoso NM. The most original, Hilariously funny man on the planet! Word of warning…… if you see him live…… buckle your moral seatbelt!!!

This NEVER gets old but I was arrested for Drunk In Public. Twice. Then I got a DWI. Texas. We laugh so we don't cry. Thanks Ron

I can’t watch this enough! Loved him live !! Laughed our heads off !

Ron is hilarious.

Loved seeing him live ... Hilarious!

It's funny Ron looks better now than he did when he was 40 😂😂

@user-pz3nn4eu2t

4 ай бұрын

He is totally sexy! ❤

I got thrown out of a bar once . I told the bouncer that I had been thrown out of better bars than this. He hurt me.

@tonyhodgin1158

6 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@ptj767

5 жыл бұрын

I got thrown into worse bars than this!!

@killianmackenzie420

5 жыл бұрын

Got thrown out of a bar in Nashville. Bouncer didn’t like it when I told him this would be a good place to put a bar

@i4gotmysn

3 жыл бұрын

@@killianmackenzie420 🤣😵☠

i wanna be drunk in a bar. They threw me into public. Arrest them.

For some reason the "Satellites are linkin' up in outer space" part is my favorite. The absurd implication that they need the power of two of the things that power all communication to summon the sheer amount of information that is Ron White's arrest record lol.

This will never get old lol

This guy is an absolute scream ! My two favorite comics are him and Sebastian Maniscalco...brilliant performers.

@lilipadduncan

Жыл бұрын

Great 👍