Take good care of yourself, Mandy. You’re absolutely right about the Pavlovian response we have to social media. In each of our lives we already have certain levels of stress and drama that we need to deal with. Facebook opens us up to an endless supply of other people’s drama and it quickly overwhelms us... it really isn’t healthy. Reading and relaxing on the sofa for now sounds like a great idea.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Lynne, thank you. You're absolutely right. We don't need any more drama than what we encounter in our own lives already. :-)

Oh Mandy, I envy you so much! I wasn’t using Facebook for over a 4 years however I’m about to start university this September and I had to join some groups so I had to create a new account. So far I’ve been holding up and using it for school stuff only, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that it’s only a matter of time for me to become an addict. And the same goes for Instagram. I wanted to create some social bonds and it seems like people can’t talk without social media nowadays. Btw I’m 20 and I feel like some 70+ years old person was writing this.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Oh no, Adam! You are a clever and independent 20-year old who can think for himself. Feeling the way you do and wishing your way out of there is a very cool thing to do. There's a wave of musicians, artists, writers and thinkers who've already jumped the ship, so with your feelings you are avant garde to your generation! I mean it. Detrimental as facebook is to society and individual lives, eventually it will fall. Look at hyves, myspace, icq...when it happens, it happens quickly. Facebook is a set of programmed algorithms that will try to get you hooked indeed. A little trick to avoid that is to avoid your timeline. The way you can do this, is by creating bookmarks of the study groups you're in and only ever visit those through the bookmarks. But maybe you've already done that. And if I had to be on it, I'd also set up a link to a facebook timeline for best friends only, or something. You can assign such roles. I didn't want to bother anymore, but it is an option. Those things might make it easier. Other than that...just LIVE your life and enjoy it...REAL life, I mean. Go out, fall in love, make friends, work, study...be active. Then you will hardly notice facebook. I wish you lots of joy and good luck with your university study and be sure to make it a party! And if your idea of a party is books and brownies...throw a books-and-brownies party!!! :-) Invite people and tell them to leave the smartphones at home! Or put them in a box right by your door :-)

@adampacher9285

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for such a kind words! I hope you’re right and eventually I’ll pass but all they already grown so huge and to be honest I can imagine what would break them. I hope your withdrawal pass quickly. We were always told only that our generation (witch basically grew up with social media at hand) has been brainwashed and it’s our fault for being addicted. Then I read few articles about how the algorithms are built and basically cut social media out of my life, well, until I was forced. I cannot stretch how much it HELPED to see that it’s not our generation (as we’re the misconceptions) but people of all ages that struggle, and what’s the best part, are realizing it and trying to regulate it and spread the awareness. I’m looking forward for your Facebook breakout development and wish you the best! (Sorry if the comment didn’t make sense I felt like my thoughts were all over and wanted to say so much)

Yes, it was a very good decision! Might a slow, meandering walk help a little? Mask up so you can secretly talk to yourself as you go about what you're seeing around you. I had bouts of brain fog during cancer treatment and previously during depressions. I never wanted to go for walks then, but doing so anyway did my brain a lot of good as long as I kept things simple - side streets, no goals for speed or cardio results, just walk at an easy pace with pauses to look around and watch trees moving with the breeze or people moving around with more purpose than I had. Once home I could do things I hadn't been able to do before the walk, like sort and pay my bills or understand the instructions on a boxed meal. I would carry a notebook expecting to sketch or write whenever I found a place to sit, but I usually sat without doing either. It was sort of like how a child gets attached to a particular toy. The notebook gave me a secure feeling. It was a promise to myself that one day soon, I'd write and sketch with ease again. And I did.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, Susana, walking would have been MUCH better indeed :-) But no worries...I have a dog, so I walk a few times a day :-) How great that walking helped you so much during your illness. I hope it's helped you heal. Being in the real world and moving physically is SO important. Just that connection with your body... The sketching thing on a walk is something I so much want to do, but always only think of when I'm already in a field somewhere and forgot to bring my stuff. :-)

I quit Facebook some years ago. Honestly I felt a lot better and I really don't feel like I'm missing it.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Great! I am expecting the same here :-)

I left Fb a long time ago. Very rarely - perhaps once every couple months - I pop on it and see the same old monotonous content so within 5 minutes I am back off again. It’s mind numbing for creatives.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds about the maximum amount of time for the preservation of sanity indeed :-) And yes...facebook is very mind numbing :-(

Omg Mandy , I wish I could talk to you privately ! I see myself in you from several years ago. Have you talked to your doctor about the things you are experiencing? If not ,you REALLY need to! I don't think Facebook is the cause of your symptoms but a side effect ,so to speak. I think you show signs of depression .I see many of the symptoms of depression in you. I don't know your age but also menopause could be a big contributing factor. I had to completely change my diet and get on some good vitamins . For the past couple of years I have slowly weaned myself off of the antidepressants. I now take the lowest dose every other day. PLEASE don't dismiss a possible depression and talk to your doctor about your feelings. Trust me ,you are not alone with your feelings. Do some research about menopause and depression symptoms. You have still made the right decision to go off of Facebook ! Go for a walk into nature to help ,even if your tired. Drinking coffee will bring you up temporarily but then you will crash and go back to the way you felt before. Thinking of you! 🤗

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Cathy for sharing your story. It's something I will definitely keep in mind should the fortnight mark not bring any relief of the brainfog :-)

@cathyridley3005

2 жыл бұрын

@@MandyvanGoeije hi Mandy! How are you feeling ? I was just thinking of you and wanted to check in. 🤗

You seem like a nice lady. I hope you're doing well. Facebook made me feel more lonely.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, on the surface it seems like it connects people, but when you look closely, it drifts people apart rather than really bring them together...

Whoo hoo! You can do it!

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, I can! :-)

Facebook, like all "like" based social media, is really, really addictive. It wasn't that much awful ln the beginning, in the late 2000s and early 2010s, but people are vulnerable on it, i am positive that comparison to others and addiction patterns underline all of that. What you said - brain chemicals, and I would add basic principles of social and mass psychology online and a need to conforme to it.. That's why social media, like folklore tales, both reflect and reinforce social and psychological fears and pressure we face in daily lives. All those things brought together have made people's behavior on it even worse throughout the years. Much worse than in, say, 2011, when we at least used the old excuse of staying in touch, people eather stick to their small circles, ignoring people outside of it, or aggressively attack you if you don't support their views. All crazy defense mechanisms are on, just like on drugs or under influence of alcohol. Toxic behaviour can be summarized in two components: aggressive (self)advertising and hateful, neurotic bitching disguised as social and political activism, almost nobody is using it constructively anymore.. My last straw was the pandemic, when I finally realized how dangerous those sites really are. I do have fb abstinence syndroms, but it will go away. What is interesting, KZread has its share of populism in posttruth era, but it doesn't have that much power over its users. No psychological pressure to post content, no at least obvious comparison, nothing. But most of us use it passively, it's like the continuation of televison, wich, by the way, is nothing compared to social media like FB, Twitter and Instagram.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agree with you. For me too the pandemic was the final push...seeing how many people have begun believing the greatest nonsense because they close themselves in in groups...it is SO detrimental to society and to our sense of safety. Because ironically, it is those people who refuse to believe the facts and prefer the sagas they conceive or pass on that are causing a real physical danger right now. Refusing vaccination and yet still working as a nurse in an elderly home, just to name an example. Referring to their "research"...group posts on facebook, referring to absolutely unreliable websites that spread unfounded fear- and hate mongering posts. I don't see KZread having the same impact, no. Although I consistently ignore everything that comes close to this, so appartenly I train the algorithms. Friends of mine DO get to see videos spreading the same hate/fear. So maybe KZread actually has algorithms that DO respect the real preferences of their users. And, I think it's crucial that KZread doesn't do groups. We can be social here, or even anti-social, but it's always a one to one interaction from viewer to video maker and vice versa. People can chip in, but there's no solid group forming an intimidating block response or planned actions to spread their "news". Facebook is becoming an intensely sick advertisement platform, also for groups whose ideals are seriously twisted and inhumane. I'm glad to read your reply, to hear that more people see what's going on.

@coltthestarsheriff3544

2 жыл бұрын

@@MandyvanGoeije agree. Facebook is the populist internet Mecca for very dangerous and twisted people ever since Arab Spring. We saw how crazy it was getting first with Trump, than Brexit, and now with Vaccine refusal and Covid denial. We se how the internet world and the "real" world are "interconnected" much to our own damage. Plus, only way to try to talk to the antivaxxers is outside any internet platform, there is no other way. Especially Facebook is making them more certain in their mythical, fantasy world, fears, because with big crisis comes irrationality. You Tube does have some antivax videos, and algorithms are not that different, i have red some papers about that, but the dynamic on it is quite different and it doesn't make you crazy or delusional like Facebook. I feel psychologically much much better, and in control of my thought and emotion process and actions.

@miguelrobb5719

2 жыл бұрын

I'm 30 years old and I remember during the 2000s and early 2010s where facebook was big but people were still in control of there lives. Now the whole thing has gotten completely out of hand. One of the final straws on there is seeing my mother and grandmother being obsessed with that thing . Watching people arguing over politics, constantly making vague posts just for attention and seeing everyone living fake lives on there. It's sickening and sad. I'm tired of looking at other people's lives on there. I just unfriended a lot of people on there and deactivated Facebook. The others can stay on there and remain miserable

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

@@miguelrobb5719 Yes, it is sad. And right now it may feel like being an outsider when not on there, but in reality it's those on the platform that have treaded completely outside of their own lives. Fortunately, more and more people are stepping away from it to follow their own lives, their REAL lives just like you. High five!

@coltthestarsheriff3544

2 жыл бұрын

@@miguelrobb5719 yes, exactly that. Facebook wasn't bigger than life back in 2011, it was more for adolescent fun, and yes, people had control over it. But it got out of hand, people are even getting killed in some parts of the world with the help of social media, FB and others.

I only wanted to share my art on FB, FB wanted to make money off of me and demanded I make a business account and deleted my account. I deleted FB and never had any problems from it other than being a titch sad that I couldn't share my work any more and a bit pissed at FB for being greedy ahems but no brain fog. However, I didn't like social media in general to begin with and didn't post regularly like a schedule but rather maybe one or twice a week. FB has an agenda, along with Twitter and others, and it isn't in our best interest, Now I just can't be bothered.

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

You're right. A good thing you never got hooked. That sure helps!

Wow, sorry you're struggling with this so. Would taking a walk, with the dog, maybe, help at all? If I need a screen break, I go paint or do crosswords in a book or read, but mostly I paint, alternating screen time with painting. But that's easy for me because I paint small things and often do simple abstracts in one sitting. Good luck adjusting in your own way.🌷

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, the dog is definitely a good idea! The thing with my being online is that I've taught online for a long time, so it's engrained so deeply in my life and habits that every step back into real life is awesome as well as difficult. But I'll be fine. The sixth day was probably the worst. Today is the 7th and I'm already feeling quite a bit better than yesterday. Painting abstracts is wonderful, indeed. Might do some myself later today :-)

@jillshort9241

2 жыл бұрын

@@MandyvanGoeije Yeah, let your spirit fly via the brush 😸

Mandy ,let me know how you are doing. X

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

I will film an update very soon, Cathy!

@cathyridley3005

2 жыл бұрын

@@MandyvanGoeije just wanted to make sure you were ok ! X

I'm really interested how long will it take to get better?

@MandyvanGoeije

2 жыл бұрын

I took 3 facebook time-outs of 3 months in the past years and each time the energy level shot up after around 10 to 14 days and then I had way more energy than before. So just a week more to go... :-)