Trust is most important. Without trust, how can you be sure she won't tell your wife?

@balasmj

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@bankbucket2616

3 жыл бұрын

as long as your wife doesnt go in the basement

I think Ricky Gervais's girlfriend, Jane, and Jimmy's girlfriend could write a fabulous book. LOL

Jimmy, in my darkest hour; you have made me laugh and feel better. I’ve listened to you on KZread during my road trips and laughed so much. Thank You 👍🏻

@atop856

4 жыл бұрын

Travis Wheat hope you’re alright now sir

@aceman0000099

4 жыл бұрын

I hope you haven't recovered mate 👍

@aliemadi1485

2 жыл бұрын

@@aceman0000099 your sad aceman

@shadowbanned2596

Жыл бұрын

Grow up hard times commenter

My girl was so bad at blowies that I married her to ensure I'd never have to receive one from her ever again.

@mikael9456

4 жыл бұрын

That's gold

@dervakommtvonhinten517

4 жыл бұрын

could have just left her....

@tet876

4 жыл бұрын

hate to be that guy but... i didnt get it :/. help

@dervakommtvonhinten517

4 жыл бұрын

@@tet876 married guys get no action in the bedroom.

@tobiasthefair8820

4 жыл бұрын

TET boy, I’m 17 and even I understood that

I certainly hope his girlfriend has a sense of humor. Jimmy's comedy is pretty brutal sometimes.

@rocarlosdavis622

4 жыл бұрын

I disagree...relieving yes but just not brutal like the #1 movie called 300..😥😘😇

@henrikhyrup3995

4 жыл бұрын

"sometimes"??

@bennettlane4274

4 жыл бұрын

And what makes you think this "girlfriend" actually exists :D

@joyre1679

3 жыл бұрын

They've been together for 19 years. I'm guessing she likes him 😂

@thegrowsausage6605

3 жыл бұрын

I think you spelt brilliant wrong.

Jimmy whoever is doing these thumbnails is doing man dirty yano 🤣

Saw Jimmy’s show from the front row and my phone rang. Started telling the audience no one ever calls me with my American accent, and he only asked if he could answer. Never did find out who called, but he selfied with me in the background, the only person not laughing. My ringer hasn’t been on since.

he feels to me like a bloated Lucifer😂

@freebeerishere

4 жыл бұрын

LUKA ROCHON HAHSHHDJDJFHF ILL NEVER UNSEE IT

@LunaQur

4 жыл бұрын

YESS FINALLY SOMEBODY SAID IT

@PavithranMohanborntopaintball

4 жыл бұрын

So fucking perfect 🤣

@sohnaminta.9264

4 жыл бұрын

AHHHH

@AceGrip

3 жыл бұрын

YESSSS

12 years? Have you developed an immunity to pepper spray yet Jimmy? :D

If Jimmy Carr offends you. Well, mission accomplished.

A brilliant mix. Thanks for the video

“Maybe try the shocker, two in the pink, one in the stink”

@cylltndn7935

3 жыл бұрын

What if its other way around?

Old but gold. Quality.

Finally someone with German Humor

I love watching him because I'm still amazed how he went to the same school as my mum when he was a kid

@nindraco3173

4 жыл бұрын

Was your mum the lunch lady?

This guy is brilliant 😂😂😂👌🇬🇧

@mrabsorbency8460

4 жыл бұрын

@Jeepman89 We don't need ur opinion

4:43 the anger lmao

That was really great! :)

10:25 mind giving me a hand?

lol jimmy is hilarious

Jimmy is the best!

He cracks me up! ~hahahahahaha

Jimmy’s new teeth are hilarious! 🦷

He has an awesome sense of humor..very different

Jimmy you're AWESOME 👏👍👏

His laugh is like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed. Am getting used to it. Am fairly sure he developed it a few years into his act.

@wudupfammm8555

4 жыл бұрын

he made up or introduced that laugh in one show. its on utube but i dont remember which one.

Classic Jimmy

i can tell frankie is writing some of these jokes

I couldn't find a way to insult how obnoxious the thumbnail is so here is a Dr. Seuss inspired poem: "Some are up close, some from afar, I want them to know that I am Jimmy Carr, Maybe my face, maybe add a grin, make me look like the third Bugdanoff twin"

That thumbnail startled me

That's an incredibly unflattering thumbnail image.

Its hard to resist such thumbnail like this one

Awesome

Jimmies girlfriend sounds like a boyfriend, in fact he sounds like jimmy

ive often thought jimmy is gay. and just says "my girlfriend" to cover. kinda like nobody thought jons wife existed till she was on an episode of cats and we actually saw her unbound and not having an adverse reaction to the sun

@ChiSbaObePcheH11

4 жыл бұрын

I mean, there's actually pictures of them out together on the internet, her name is Karoline i think; but i get bi vibes from him anyway

@peterjoyfilms

4 жыл бұрын

Plenty of straight men are a bit effeminate

@edu-kt

4 жыл бұрын

...and by gay you mean he owns a coat?. Lol.

@gospodinblanco5138

4 жыл бұрын

@@peterjoyfilms Where? lol

@georgeadams5390

4 жыл бұрын

He's British so how can you tell. Sorry couldn't help it

5:03 gifs tell everyone how you feel about them

Jim.....you are the Best comedian in the UK.

Had my laughing for 14 minutes

Long live King Carr! Those abortion jokes were brutal.

@Friendship1nmillion

4 жыл бұрын

SHOULDN'T be encouraged!! Very insensitive, along with making "Jokes" about being a Pedophile. 👨‍⚖ "👨‍🎤->🙊" 🙄🤬

@Parkerlee1000

4 жыл бұрын

Someone hasn't got a sense of humour

I love 💕

Fkin ruthless

Imagine being Jimmy's girlfriend

@mylord9395

2 жыл бұрын

Ok I will.

His girlfriend must have the thickest or thick skins

Best comic now a days. Can get away with his Witt

Love the grey hound dress lol

Ur too funny jimmy.😂😂😂😂

enjoyed the jokes...thanks...

Come to South Africa again

I prefer Jimmy with natural teeth, he seemed more to the bone.

@aceman0000099

4 жыл бұрын

Is that supposed to be a joke?

@livedandletdie

4 жыл бұрын

Who wants a regular set of fuckugly teeth. New teeth looks better.

Lovely, Jimmy. Queen's loves U. U must be her favorite! :D

This is Stewie Griffin from Family Guy all grown up

@vbuszko

4 жыл бұрын

Zézé Rôzés underrated comment

@jeremyjones4011

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha!

I want Carr to play Eddie Cantor in a biopic

Hi Jimmy

Hey Jimmy, I’m so weirdly attracted to you, you are so funny

@nicosmind3

4 жыл бұрын

How old are you? I know Jimmy does a lot of work for charity

@bethstones9307

4 жыл бұрын

Bitchute is better than KZread I’m 17

@juddwillard

4 жыл бұрын

I thought he told you to stay in the truck.

@jamesmason131

4 жыл бұрын

@Borko Borko thinking of the wrong Jimmy fella

@gospodinblanco5138

4 жыл бұрын

@@nicosmind3 gg

This is the only 47 year old man i would allow yo hang out with me

I haven’t seen anyone else say it and I need it to be seen. Jimmy Carr looks like Ralph Fiennes but a little off. Like the beginning of Voldemort makeup.

Jimmy: *complains about girlfriend* Me: (no girlfriend) sucks to be single I guess..

Ahh ahh ahhhhh!!!

“Two in the pink one in the stink” my god that was funny!!

For the record, “That thing she does with her tongue” is to not talk, non stop, from the moment you walk through the door.

The thumbnail says he has never had one

The Shocker?? Is he a Steel Panther fan?? Haha

It feels like his "my girlfriend" jokes are also "yo' momma" jokes

0:30 Jamie vardy thinks he’s slick 👀

@nosneh6670

4 жыл бұрын

Mateo Correa 😂

Hey Jimmy please reply to this, you are a great comedian, I'm so glad I found ur channel and comedy you make me smile and laugh all the time, you always bring up my mood thank you so much

@titmusspaultpaul5

4 жыл бұрын

Just wondering how you wanted Jimmy to reply because you didn't ask s question or say pretty much anything he could even comment on.

@samjoshi1812

4 жыл бұрын

That was the deadest interchange I've seen on KZread comments

@adriandiaz706

4 жыл бұрын

Philip Orlando you’re quite the loser mate 😂

@philiporlando2052

4 жыл бұрын

@@adriandiaz706 why I'm just joking around, there's nothing serious

@mattcullen6109

4 жыл бұрын

@@adriandiaz706 do you feel stronger now mate?

I bet she loved this! 😂 But it's not stirring it up a bit or being rude, it's been 18 years, it's just curiosity ... 💍🖐️🤷??? Sorry!!!! 😅

@buzjevur

4 жыл бұрын

What? Putting a third finger in?

@conorf8091

4 жыл бұрын

It’s a cover up. Girlfriend isn’t really his girlfriend

Lovenyhidnit is quite funny

7:15 What is that sound??

@mrabsorbency8460

4 жыл бұрын

A cough

@huzzzer6083

4 жыл бұрын

a cough/laugh

2 in the pink, one in the stink. LMFAO....even though I've heard it a dozen times before.

😂😂😂😂

You look like Roger Federer.

Is this entire channel just reuploads?

I have watched too much. This was like a revising session for his jokes

His steeringwheel is so small I kind of think his driving a bobbycar

Jimmy Carr is his own girlfriend?

@nickevershedmusic8927

4 жыл бұрын

His girlfriend sounds like him

13:02 Geezus they're huge

He's cleaver and has good jokes, but his laugh is the stuff of nightmares.

@abhishake24

4 жыл бұрын

The only thing that's full of nightmares is your spelling of the word 'clever'

@Surv1ve_Thrive

4 жыл бұрын

Dan it's like Eddie Murphy dressed as a seal being clubbed

@Surv1ve_Thrive

4 жыл бұрын

Dan he is 'cleaver', sharp as a knife! :)

@youthoob5561

4 жыл бұрын

So “cleaver”

Come on, mate, it's not acceptable to refer to your mother as your girlfriend.

@thebob3712

4 жыл бұрын

but you seem to think its acceptable that your dad refers to you as his girlfriend.

@huzzzer6083

4 жыл бұрын

@@thebob3712 r/murderedbywords

Only in England could a man named Adolf be called a girlfriend.

does anyone else hate it when he says "my girlfriend"

Titan Uranus

Ewww... If I had Carr's GF, I'd swap for the girl in the crowd. At least that girl didn't have a shark fin on her face... Then again, it could save you some money on some soup.

The best boyfriend is the one you can tell anything to. He's not telling ot to anyone. Because he's not listening. Not anymore.

Arrested for curb crawling. Thats a good punchline. Her dress was short 😆

Think of sex as a game of snooker. If the pink's blocked by the red, go for the brown.

What are you saying at 10:04 (you kind of swallowed the last words^^). "I'm not gonna swap...what?"

@alchmon1714

4 жыл бұрын

Im not gonna swap with her\you. Basicly said he didn't want to swap because she was too ugly

@rndmdrwrreedr8483

3 жыл бұрын

“I’m not gonna swap if that’s ok”

Ох уж эти вымышленные девушки

My ex used to pull that jumping out of the car thing until I got fed up with it and never came back one time. She was so hard headed she walked 10 miles home.

@theallseeingeye9388

4 жыл бұрын

Same experience here. Only difference is yours is now called an experience with the ex. Lucky you. And the one time you left her and she had to walk back? That opens another door to a fountain of hate that becomes a source for instant rage on slow days.

@joshdunham7167

4 жыл бұрын

@@theallseeingeye9388 oh man, I had a girlfriend like that who'd threaten to jump out of the car, this one time I told her that if she's gonna do it, she's gotta unlock the door and take of the seat belt and increased the speed. Needless to say she sat there quietly for the rest of the ride.

My bad

dear god the things men go through just to be in a relationship...

taxi

I'm sorry but the thumbnail...

Hmm.. I never considered the possibility of "GIFs" being important in a relationship.

😂😂😂

Why does Jim look like a gay British Seth MacFarlane

40 miles per hour ? Isnt this in Europe ?

@jrd33

Жыл бұрын

Speed limits in the UK are in mph, as are car speedometers. We're kinda half metric...

Does this guy really have a girlfriend or all his jokes seem impossible to happen xD

aw come on man bottom button is a big no no

191th

@gali9223

4 жыл бұрын

1th....

@gali9223

4 жыл бұрын

Jamie William thats what I was pointing out, my god🤦🏽‍♀️

Haw gay haw