My favorite thing to add to Get Well Soon cards is "... or die trying." Did that with my great uncle when his kidneys were failing. My uncle got a chuckle out of it.

@sundhaug92

4 жыл бұрын

How'd it go?

@tet876

4 жыл бұрын

with support like that, he must have been dying to get back home

@Midnight-Starfish

4 жыл бұрын

@@sundhaug92 Well, he's been dead for several years now. Weirdly enough, there was a brain tumor no one knew about that got him.

@smiller2044

4 жыл бұрын

@@Midnight-Starfish sorry for your loss and thanks for the laughs

@Midnight-Starfish

4 жыл бұрын

@@smiller2044 Dude, it happened years ago. I've come to understand that death is just a natural part of life. No point in crying about something that we're all going to go through.

He is seriously great. I love his comedy. He can spend his whole show with only crowdwork.

I sign every work card with "I'm the one who does things to your pack lunch", and an indecipherable signature squiggle.

@ono1113

4 жыл бұрын

New Message wait you are also the message from QI aint you?

Get well soon. If you fail. I will be there for you. Signed Necrophiliac

Jimmy Carr - what happens when the filter was never installed.

The most riskiest stand up routine I have ever seen

@MAXI1405

4 жыл бұрын

He's so mild compared to Frankie Boyle!

@bsvenss2

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha... have you been hiding under a rock the last 20 years?

@reubenmanzo2054

3 жыл бұрын

How is that a stand up routine? He was sitting down.

@ToddWCorey1

3 жыл бұрын

And the most grammarest!

"Excuse me, where is the Die With Dignity card section?"

@shyone968

4 жыл бұрын

In the little gift shop at Dignitas.(probably spelled that wrong)

Love the fact that they put "Comedian" in the titel....just in case someone forgets and takes him serious

@Niklasbre

4 жыл бұрын

@Kolin Mademe Tanhk you good (I switched the o's) Sir

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

I respect the time you wasted writing that. 😄

@Niklasbre

4 жыл бұрын

@Kolin Mademe Fun Sidenote....now KZread shows me adverts for Grammarly

@ZCAB

4 жыл бұрын

"Comedian" is the name of the special this is from.

@Midnight-Starfish

4 жыл бұрын

@@ZCAB Oh! I thought it was because he's so unfunny, they had to specify his occupation. I'm joking obviously.

The 16 joke was masterful!

Jimmy Carr saves my sad evenings here in Russia. Thanks god he exists with his comedy. I'm talking about Jimmy Carr

@yomumma7803

4 жыл бұрын

but isn't russia going offline?

@xilo3012

4 жыл бұрын

Jimmy is sure sending greetings cards to all people alone in the world.

@MrUtubewatcher420

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment about Jimmy Carr.

@bigbigfoot3365

4 жыл бұрын

@@yomumma7803 what do you mean by that?

@dudeonyoutube

4 жыл бұрын

Who you talking about?

I think it’s kind of funny that my 2 favourite comics are Jimmy and Fluffy. Both on 2 very opposites sides.

A lot think it’s great to hear stand up without any filth in it... it is, sought of, but nothing compares to Jimmy and I love the parents who bring young teens to the shows and the kids actually get the jokes.

This man is one of very few kings of humor.

@chunglebung8988

4 жыл бұрын

David H Along with Sean Lock Johnny Vegas Billy Connolly And...?

2:22 that valentines joke had me crying of laughter 😂😂

My friends know that when I die, I want to be buried whole (no autopsy and no drugs to preserve me). My casket is supposed to read "Free kisses", and my gravestone will read "Get well soon" (I literally have this in writing, along with which folders on my computer NOT to open). Keep doing what you do, sir.

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, they'll look at those first. Protip: True Crypt or vera or whatever.

@psychyouout709

4 жыл бұрын

@@mikeymcmikeface5599 My goal was simply to remind people of what they were missing, then allowing them to get their well-wishes over with. No sense turning over in the grave, unless it's a good time.

@SteCool

4 жыл бұрын

Spike Milligan wanted to be buried inside a washing machine to confuse archaeologists and wanted his tombstone to read ‘I told you I was ill!” but the church authorities would not allow this. Instead the words were translated and written in the Irish language. RIP Spike

I was wondering why KZread thinks this video needs an ad for laxatives in front, but it soon became clear when Jimmy got to the bumsex bit. Ow.

Jimmy always brightens the day 🤣

And that's final, Yours the Catholic Church 😂😂😂

@YosuaNangin

4 жыл бұрын

I don't get it? Can you explain

@bitzibaerlie

4 жыл бұрын

@@YosuaNangin It was a "You are getting a baby" card. Basically making fun of the Church's anti-abortion stance.

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

Once you're pregnant, you ain't getting out. -- Pope

Will definitely be using some of these

This is one of your best and most offence videos :D

Dangerous, but absolutely gold.

Best vid I've seen in awhile

6:13 When the band kids try to recruit you

I think I need to reverse engineer him to work out how he comes up with so many jokes

@xilo3012

4 жыл бұрын

Its a mental problem very profitable.

@nadinewesterveld5597

4 жыл бұрын

Nah, just talk to his programmer!

@Skyrilla

4 жыл бұрын

I missed the part where this was funny.

@noredine

4 жыл бұрын

the secret is his reverse laugh

@MrCritiqueish

4 жыл бұрын

@@Skyrilla not the first time, was it?

1:23 *THANKYOU* now I know what to write

This is classic Jimmy Carr, pure laughs all the way through, especially through some of the ladies (possibly some of Jimmy's actual thoughts), who knows.

@ginger_nosoul

4 жыл бұрын

Check out some of the videos where he does his meet n greets after the shows to sign autographs. 🤣😂

@SubjectRandom21

4 жыл бұрын

@@ginger_nosoul I've seen one of them where he lets a woman and a guy actually lick his face! 🤣

Jimmy was ready to risk it all

classic jimmy

Well suited to the royal variety I think😂

Can we all agree that's a fucking awesome table?

I still said, " Awwwwww" at all of these.

When was this filmed?

Best greeting card is the one you got from the IRS

Funniest comedian on the planet

@mikeymcmikeface5599

4 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't have known, had I not read the entire title. 😏

@frowningJoker

4 жыл бұрын

I think statistically the funniest comedian on the planet lives in China

@jamesmecs7627

4 жыл бұрын

Best profile picture ever. I got a tattoo of him on my chewt

@xilo3012

4 жыл бұрын

Greg Giraldo died. So now Jimmy could represent Earth in a universal comedy contest.

Nice 👍🏿 with the cards

ha ha HAR!

I did write one -Have a happy birthday hope you live til your next!

Found out the hard way? Lucky boy

I love you Angel Eyes!!! x x x x x x x x And I love you too Jimmy, though you need to get sleazier!!

Going by how much that 17 year old was blushing, we can predict what happened after that show ;)

[It puts the lotion it’s skin)] [ Or it gets the hose again! ] - Jimmy Carr

genius

Good luck in your new jumper.

Thank u

I'm just here for the laughs, I get a bunch and leave. I don't complain I don't demand, I just watch the video, laugh and click on to the next thing. some people live their lives in the comments, demanding attention and bickering with anyone that would hold an opposing opinion and post it. NEXT VIDEO!!!

i hope jimmy actually wrote the card n gave it o him, thatd e the best present ever

Hey what I can I say, I love these high school girls. I keep getting older and they just stay the same age.

Did he blob up again? Or is this just an old video?

Hahahahahahahahahahahabaha

G.O.A.T.

If you didnt get the "Congradulations! You're 18" joke at 4:29, a "stone" is a British unit for weight equivalent to 14 American lbs.

@dudessjoddie

4 жыл бұрын

Do you mean congratulations?

@Im-a-cyber-imbiber

4 жыл бұрын

@@dudessjoddie ... ):

Wow ! I like that table. >

No I meant sexually 😂

Is 17 legal in the UK?

@joshlloyd3133

4 жыл бұрын

16 is legal in the uk

@Buckers1313

4 жыл бұрын

Haha fair enough. Seems real weird Jimmy saying that to a 17 year old 😂😂😂

@dudessjoddie

4 жыл бұрын

Josh Buckley Why where are you from? It’s 16 in most of the western world? Younger in other parts of Europe.

@Buckers1313

4 жыл бұрын

@@dudessjoddie Australia. I believe its 17 but ive never had a need to look into those laws 😅

@dudessjoddie

4 жыл бұрын

Josh Buckley Regardless of the age of consent it IS odd to chat to someone so young like that but that’s exactly why he did it 😅 people say age doesn’t matter & it doesn’t for the most part but of course in certain circumstances.

Obviously he meant today.

"1080p"

I'm offended. 😎

why is it i search for CRIMEBODGE and i get this? smooth tube, real classy!

😂😂😂😂😂🤦‍♂️

Can anyone explain the "I'm sure it's benign" punchline?

@brianservin5833

4 жыл бұрын

@Jean Kennedy thanks mate

I thought this said Jimmy White,

Good luck with the baby.

...whats a whipround card?

@Tom-uv7ry

4 жыл бұрын

Its a leaving card if your leaving a job usually with a few gifts or some money in the card from everyone you work with

Greeting Carrds*

"happy birthday david thank you for curing my wife was way better"

"I like pediatrics"

@theskeptic8489

4 жыл бұрын

Is that what he said?

@hotcock4813

4 жыл бұрын

@@theskeptic8489 yeah

Does Jimmy read the comments?

@xilo3012

4 жыл бұрын

He's rich and famous. I think he only read messages if he's paid a lot of money for doing that.

@moosegoose3159

4 жыл бұрын

Only if it’s tax deductible

@pamelacass9642

4 жыл бұрын

Why should he?

How are the people who dislike this vedios...what are they. ..where they from...

Like if you HATE Grammarly by now, just because of the ubiquity of the adverts.

I saw a girl I know on tinder, I swiped left. Will she see me on there?

He should headline the Democrats conference.

@mesteme

3 жыл бұрын

It'd be a riot, but literally.

Jimmy's path to comedy is paved with bad intentions.

Love 16 and 17 year old girls.

@michaelgibbs514

4 жыл бұрын

Please tell me you're a 16 or 17 year old or you forgot the word "the" between "love" and "16".

@hotcock4813

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelgibbs514 Well, I'm a bit older.

@andrep8479

4 жыл бұрын

Hey what I can I say, I love these high school girls. I keep getting older and they just stay the same age.

@Hearstbane

4 жыл бұрын

@@andrep8479 ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

Not at all funny.

@hshshshshshshs8831

4 жыл бұрын

Some were pretty funny but some were just clichés that you could see coming from a mile away...

Hm this Routine of yours isn't that good. Love the other stuff more

Entertainment for the low class.

@yacovlk7924

4 жыл бұрын

@Troy Staunton Your very welcome madam.

@carlranger8060

4 жыл бұрын

@@yacovlk7924 You're, the word's you're.

@yacovlk7924

4 жыл бұрын

@@carlranger8060 Thank you for helping me with my English madam. I appreciate it. Xoxo

@angrytedtalks

4 жыл бұрын

Actually the middle and upper classes enjoy his humour too; his humour is not classist.

@yacovlk7924

4 жыл бұрын

@@angrytedtalks Classy people do not watch uncouth comedy.

This is terrible

Jimmy Carr is the worst comedian that I’ve ever witnessed.

@pamelacass9642

4 жыл бұрын

He'd have problems in the US, I would think.

@edwardmcloughlin1121

4 жыл бұрын

Pete is never wrong your showing your age Pete ☺️

@angrytedtalks

4 жыл бұрын

Worst at what? Paying taxes?