“Not all fat people are jolly. Some of them are women.” -Jimmy Carr

@dragoonguard7278

2 жыл бұрын

nice but it was difrent

Monica: The camera adds 10 pounds!! How many cameras are pointing at you? *Chandler Bing

@ssik9460

3 жыл бұрын

I was going to mention that

@anonymousmafia6973

3 жыл бұрын

It was so how many cameras are actually on you If you quote it do it right mate

@Scratchingforcash

3 жыл бұрын

@@anonymousmafia6973

@anonymousmafia6973

3 жыл бұрын

@@Scratchingforcash thanks man

Please release more full shows! Can't get enough of Jimmy Carr

@leopold3475

3 жыл бұрын

I love his hour specials, he's smart and spot on timing when he's on a roll

As a certified fat guy, I approve of all theses jokes

@bloodisfrightening1203

3 жыл бұрын

I wish there was some gay jokes I could approve lol.

@apexhd7716

2 жыл бұрын

We get it your gay

@Tidybitz

2 жыл бұрын

@@bloodisfrightening1203 ... he does those also, and I as a gay man approve.

@twothousandandchew

11 ай бұрын

as a skinny girl who could be modern kate moss i approve of his jokes

It’s funny how you can tell the truth as a joke and it’s not controversial.

@kianhughes6309

3 жыл бұрын

Oh the good old days

@chevogliomai

2 жыл бұрын

“In your specific country”

@twothousandandchew

11 ай бұрын

it is online but it’s comedy live. what are they gonna do storm on stage and hate crime him?

"Stop eating f'n cameras" 🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂

I'm German and the best jokes are the ones about us. Love you Jimmy

In case you're unaware 34 stone equals 476 lb

@MrNissetuta

3 жыл бұрын

Kg? Nwm i google it 🤥

@johanneskarlsson3859

3 жыл бұрын

215,9 kg

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

@@johanneskarlsson3859 jesus!!!!

@christianhildebrandt8186

3 жыл бұрын

This was why I decided to scroll the comments lmao thanks

@jackwatsonepic626

3 жыл бұрын

Most people have now got a Google home Mini or Alexa it's like having a encyclopaedia of knowledge in your home

After losing 25 pounds I still laugh about these jokes.

@bjrnvingepedersen2580

2 жыл бұрын

25 out of how many?!? Anyways that should take you about a month with healthy food and exercise ☺️ not a big deal 😜

@Zaggloid

2 жыл бұрын

After gaining 25 pounds I still laugh about these jokes

@kym393

2 жыл бұрын

I hate losing money..

@gscott6211

2 жыл бұрын

I’d be fuming if I lost 25 pounds man thats a good few pints

@WeighedWilson

2 жыл бұрын

I found your 25 pounds.

I walked up too a fat girl and said you're big lass aren't you with a tear in her eye she said tell me something I don't know The taste of salad

@kilburn1313

3 жыл бұрын

Salad dodgers...

@LegendFTP

3 жыл бұрын

Funny bro, remind me when to laugh

@MythicSuns

3 жыл бұрын

legend With your dementia there wouldn't be much point.

@grammernotzi

3 жыл бұрын

As a fat guy, you could walk up to a skinny girl and say: "hey babe, you want to make a BIG mistake?"

@asherloat8570

3 жыл бұрын

*I walked up to a fat girl and said "You're a big lass aren't you?" With a tear in her eye, she said "Tell me something I don't know." I said "The taste of salad." You're welcome

A german joke: My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell from the watchtower.

@thekgb2436

2 жыл бұрын

My grandpa killed over 300 German pilots, I tell ya he was the worst mechanic in the Luftwaffe

@janbaltes2863

2 жыл бұрын

@@thekgb2436 :')

@skytherk.5359

2 жыл бұрын

Being a german, I approve

@silversword4849

2 жыл бұрын

did he fall because of his cake retention

Джимми. Спасибо тебе за настроение. Спасал от депрессии очень много раз. Хорошо, что есть такие люди, как ты.

The funniest guy ever. And the most offensive. Love at first sight.

@youtubeaccount5267

3 жыл бұрын

Aren't you worried about the age gap

I wasn't first, I wasn't last, but I was fast.

@joseantoniolago5857

3 жыл бұрын

That what she said

@thegirthsmurf

3 жыл бұрын

@@joseantoniolago5857 that's what he said

@rogueangel72

3 жыл бұрын

Your wife must love you

@thegirthsmurf

3 жыл бұрын

@@rogueangel72 nope that's why I'm digging in the garden

@Echs_D33

3 жыл бұрын

Now give me the cash.

That OCD girlfriend joke reminded me of something. Years and years ago I used to go to an OCD support group. We had a non-OCD person come in to ask some questions, particularly relating to their spouse who had OCD- the usual stuff, treatments and all that. We warned her that SSRIs can lower sex drive. She was thrilled. Apparently when they were having sex he had to do certain things a specific number of times, even if they'd already got the job done and were becoming painful.

Stop effing eating cameras😂😂

Great stuff!

''you're gonna be adopted'' bad from your biological parents, good from the orphanage lady

@forcedtohaveahandle

3 жыл бұрын

remove “gonna be” and “biological” and it’s👌

Jimmy you'r the best!

@superblueknight

3 жыл бұрын

WARNING, YOU HAVE A MISSING A VOWEL, THIS IS PNISHABLE BY DEATH

@prolapsdrektem9264

3 жыл бұрын

_ SuperBlueKnight _ YOU HYPOCRTE

@superblueknight

3 жыл бұрын

@@prolapsdrektem9264 that may or may not be the joke my bro

@bengrant8455

3 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha I love this

@gaminglikethoushould8978

3 жыл бұрын

Kurrupted Gaming r/woosh

Going to see him live tomorrow night I can't wait 😆😆

Boss. Thanks Jimmy!

4:18 that’s the sweetest little laugh

I tryed to get offended but I couldnae stop laughing

I love the toothbrush joke.

34 people probably shouldn't have watched this video.

@christianhildebrandt8186

3 жыл бұрын

Dyslexia is real LMAO

@christianhildebrandt8186

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao yeah ik just thought that it was a funny thing to say lol

@feralcrafter7043

3 жыл бұрын

68 people shouldn't have watched this video ... I think we might have a pandemic on our hands .... couch .... planet!

@anonymousmafia6973

3 жыл бұрын

It’s 153 now

@steezy9817

3 жыл бұрын

Why? Cause they're hard to impress? Or they know things that are true aren't actually funny

I love fat jokes.

Nuhhahah that laugh is hilarious

8:30 I felt that x)

Nice

They have a glandular problem, salivary gland.

i swear jimmy ur the best ever. its so fkin funny its crazy hahahahhahaha

1:38 😂😂😂😂😂😂

So the people that disliked are fat? Haha, you've activated my trap card.

8:54 All inclusive thank goodness!

I ❤ it

WHERE'S MY "people with turrets" ENDING?

@EchtMartijn

3 жыл бұрын

'turrets' kek.

@commanderkizza978

3 жыл бұрын

tourette's

I've lost over 200lbs and I not only laugh I've subscribed

@scarletboa

Жыл бұрын

Well done! I've lost 70lbs and always got a kick out of fat jokes when they weren't directed at specific people. Jimmy Carr is great.

Frequency of commercials is getting out of hand !

@xepe25

2 жыл бұрын

ever heard of adblock ?

Half of it aren't fat jokes but good thing it's a best of.

Giggidy.

I wonder if Diana found out about a certain island....

@AleksandarIvanov69

3 жыл бұрын

He killed himself tho

@ArbiterofTruth

2 жыл бұрын

@@AleksandarIvanov69 yeah no, he was murdered.

Waiting for the day the cameraman starts laughing and the camera starts panning up and down 😭

@kalebbruwer

3 жыл бұрын

No, comedy shows always use German cameramen for this exact reason

@crimtek

3 жыл бұрын

@@kalebbruwer LMAO, I didn't know that

@kalebbruwer

3 жыл бұрын

@@crimtek Well, I was being sarastic. Idk what they actually do

@crimtek

3 жыл бұрын

@@kalebbruwer oh

@reekymirror6764

3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Hi there

I watched this video eating out of the ice cream container.

@DJBillionator

3 жыл бұрын

@george chapelle Mkay, "try thinking for yourself." - P. Twats

Ahh ahh ahhhhh

In case you’re unaware 34 stone equals 216 kg

@Diponty

Жыл бұрын

I'm still unaware.

Ahhhhhhhh It's old Jimmy

Jimmy chaaaarr, a new video. Saying that in the way roasted English accents.

@stevelee9511

3 жыл бұрын

@Aslan T Vorlon watch his other videos.

😂😂

I wasn’t first, I wasn’t last, but I sure was fairly fast

@tvollogy

3 жыл бұрын

@Aslan T Vorlon 🤣

What show is this? (Red background, black suit, pink shirt)

He’s fab

Why is it that when’s it’s a regular person, it’s offensive, and when it’s a comedian, everyone laughs? Don’t know, don’t care, I’m fat too

@heh650

Жыл бұрын

Do not listen to the internet. As a regular person, I have made plenty of fat jokes to fat-ish people and they have laughed.

Should appear once as Charlie McCarty

those christian jokes were too hilarious

He's almost ready to run for president in America.

@matthewparker9276

3 жыл бұрын

Hes far too anti Christian for that. You need to at least pretend to like God to get the support of half the country.

Not getting Email notifications for subscription

5.4K likes by me

Shouldn't the Stone be referred to as a boulder? Lol

👍👍👍

*_Bruh_*

Does anybody else think his innocent face doesn't seem to match the subject matter ;)

5:10 … or now just a whole new person

😂😂😂👍

It's so fat he couldn't even keep it in a single volume

@AutomaticDuck300

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like it's a little insensitive to use the word "volume" here.

Aside from the not makin jokes bout muslims cuz u scared dont be, but ngl for me as a muslim, my respect for you just went up by a lot ♡

Neurosurgery is a great way to lose weight....it worked for me. Nothing like having your jaw muscle cut, to stop eating XD

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

I had neurosurgery I never had my jaw cut open

@goaway2803

3 жыл бұрын

@@zapkvr They cut through the muscle because of the second section of my brain they had to remove. Every op is different and I hope yours was successful, Mate.

@goaway2803

3 жыл бұрын

@HEAV¥HAND No it's not an actual technique for weight loss, but I lost weight because I couldn't eat without unbelievable pain. It was just a bonus from the op and the hospital agreed it probably wouldn't take off as an option for weight loss XD

@Tryo707

3 жыл бұрын

@@goaway2803 Hey so I'm presuming I went through something similar and I have a decent suggestion. It may not sound appealing initially, but give baby food a try. I was able to get real nutrition without much pain at all. I ate lots of cereal and fruits while be very surprised how much I enjoyed eating them, though I wasn't a fan of soups or meats. Oat and Rice cereals had decent protein content as well. I have another surgery planned and I know I'll be eating a bunch of baby food again. Hope you're doing well!

@goaway2803

3 жыл бұрын

@@Tryo707 I've been extremely fortunate and the op seems to have been successful. I ate an awful lot of thinly sliced watermelon (lucky it was in season) I still can't open the right side of my jaw properly, so I just have to think ahead as to what I can and can't manage. Good luck for your next op and I hope your recovery goes quickly, Mate.

People who claim Jimmy Carr is fattest obviously haven't seen any real fatties.

Life is tough for comedians with the WOKES constantly barking at their doors! KEEP IT UP GUYS.

@heh650

Жыл бұрын

Not really, I do not think you realise how small the woke community is or at least how small the dumb woke people are. And their are a lot of good/funny woke people that watch his shows anyway that love it. It is just that a small group of people make it seem like the woke community is bad.

Jimmy looks chubby

What ever James. I didn't raise you your adoptive family did James

Its never the other way around, no skinny women feeding fat guys....unless they are rich of course

Bye

The camera adds 10 pounds, stop eating fucking cameras. 🤣😂 I've stolen and been using that for years.

Jimmy says: get injected with a toxic substance or else I will make you look very silly. Cos I am cleverer than you and get loads of dosh from pharma companies.

@vangroover1903

2 жыл бұрын

He's been great about shaming the unwashed

Stop eating cameras … ;)

poor

What ever James you can be cruel all you want but just remember I only tried to love you in the right way when you were born but I guess you already had this planned out. And you couldn't even tell me what I had done that I don't know of because you took my memory remember. oh you girlfriend cyrtal that you lie to about me.

You were suppose to avenge me but instead you consider me less then a door matt ya you all look fucking Amazing all right Amazing that you can be so fucking cruel in inhumane. You better not have done nothing to your fucking own brother

If Christians had any power at all they would not be forgiving

@hhiippiittyy

3 жыл бұрын

"Forgiveness comes from God." as they lit the pyre under your feet.

@TheAce12570

3 жыл бұрын

The Catholic Church (and that's just a faction within Christianity) has a net worth of about 30 billion $. And about a billion people who think they're just great. If you don't think that's power, then I don't know what to tell you. They have far _too_ much power for this day and age.

@zapkvr

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheAce12570 thanks for making my point ;)

Nice vid for the uncaring Q2.

nah, these short quick jokes are not for me

*gasp* He’s not wearing a mask!

@tvollogy

3 жыл бұрын

Pre-COVID🤣

I never understood why jokes about muslims or islam were so weird... i mean even today... as a muslim myself i couldnt care less if a joke was told about it ... i mean its a damn joke... sure a lot of ppl dont find it funny ... but if you dont find it funny just have the politeness to let those who laugh at it enjoy it ...

fat jokes.....

hehehe 3rd

First

Really, are they jokes?

@memetime1784

3 жыл бұрын

ieatbats andcorona, no I’m saying they’re true

@mr.skitttlezz1945

3 жыл бұрын

Yup👌

@Tryo707

3 жыл бұрын

@ieatbats andcorona I believe you owe an apology.

I feel like it's a little insensitive to use the word "volume" here.

Oh... First

@sorceressy2k1

3 жыл бұрын

No you're not

@manibdaboss4723

3 жыл бұрын

@@sorceressy2k1 damn

@lolagraham8013

3 жыл бұрын

Spikez they are

@awatt

3 жыл бұрын

🥇

muslim jokes!!!

#FatLivesMatter

@tvollogy

3 жыл бұрын

#everythingmatters 🤣

@AverageAlcoholic

3 жыл бұрын

#noonemattrs

Why are all of these about women though

@thrillfinesse

3 жыл бұрын

Why does it matter ?

@alchmon1714

2 жыл бұрын

@@thrillfinesse she needs to be offended

Jimmy is funny but the caned laughter is irritating cant watch

That's his best? ... Tried to laugh but nothing is funny... If he were Muslim, he'd be in Guantanamo prison.

@jrd33

Жыл бұрын

Why?

@justnznz

Жыл бұрын

@@jrd33 cuz he's a Muslim

@jrd33

Жыл бұрын

@@justnznz I don't think Jimmy Carr is a Muslim.

@justnznz

Жыл бұрын

@@jrd33 dude, .... You are extremely slow..

Not his best, shame

too much acting, its not genuine. it feels like im watching movie stars virtue signal

Maybe do some research before making a thyroid joke. Thyroid can make you gain or lose weight depending on the levels of hormones produced by it.

@jrd33

Жыл бұрын

Are you seriously fact-checking a joke? Do you understand humour at all?

I don’t find him funny! I guess I’m just used to good comedy, being an Aussie and all!

@rawx485

3 жыл бұрын

More of a Jim Jefferies fan then?

@heh650

Жыл бұрын

It could just be the loctation, his jokes are dimmed down in some places to match the audience.

There funny because there true 😂😂😂