My husband molested our daughter and she told me everything he did to her. My entire world shattered because I thought I had an amazing husband and he was an amazing father. Never was abusive and he was so patient with all of our children. I reported him to the police. My entire world was turned upside down because he had a high executive career. We lost all of our income ans literally overnight I became a single mother. This was completely traumatic. We're still going through the thick of it and are still in court proceedings. I had to protect my daughter. This was like an atomic bomb exploded in our family. I'm so sorry you went through this. Thank you for sharing your story because you just showed me what my daughters life would look like in the future if I did not take legal action against my husband.

@RoseBeef.

5 ай бұрын

You are incredibly strong for being able to make that decision without a doubt or fear stopping you. You may still be in the thick of it, but know that you made a choice where things can only ever get better for you and your children now. Never falter in your decision. God bless you and your children, they're going to be as strong as you when they grow up and very grateful for such a wonderful momma

@abigailloar956

5 ай бұрын

I wish my mom had done what you are doing. As hard as things have gotten, take comfort, and know things could be worse if you didn't go this route. My mom knew and did nothing, and the system made her life hell when all of it came out. They were afraid of her bringing my step dad around or her giving the young ones to irresponsible people connected to him so they didn't let her work for years, my older sister is 34 and hasn't spoken to my mom since she was 15. I didn't for many years, and I still have a strained relationship with her. My younger siblings lived a life of poverty, separation issues, and a mother who still didn't bother protecting them from other things. Doing the right thing can have consequences, but doing the wrong thing has worse ones in my opinion. Your daughter is lucky to have you and my God watch over your family. God bless

@tyrabandz2845

5 ай бұрын

I am so sorry you experienced this ! Sending so much love to you & your family ❤️

@marymorris6897

5 ай бұрын

I'm very glad your daughter trusted you enough to tell you what happened. I wish I could send you and your children the biggest hug.

@cubaricanclari

5 ай бұрын

You're a great and brave Mom!

I can never understand how any parent CHOOSES to not protect their own child, especially after knowing the danger. My mom did the same thing to me. Disgusting!

@maemae1752

5 ай бұрын

So wrong, what is it in these people that makes them like this? No matter what it is it’s still never ok. I hope you have found a way to say no for yourself .

@CaToRi-

5 ай бұрын

Because they are not parents. They are just DNA providers

@Zumcho

5 ай бұрын

It's common as all he77. Trust me, women pick their partners over their kids all the time.

@cubaricanclari

5 ай бұрын

Me too.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

Then again, women love the bad boys. They provide lots of delicious drama and there's never a dull moment. Women are emotionally invested in the bad boys because of their aggression, spontaneity, and drama, even though these men make shitty fathers, husbands, and role models. It is what it is.

She needs to go NO CONTACT with her WHOLE family!!!

@Veracityseeker7

5 ай бұрын

Exactly what I did, and it's why I have sanity and health in my life today.

@NatalieS-kh3ck

5 ай бұрын

Its what I had to do. I was going to die otherwise.

A mother not stepping up and protecting her child against sexual abuse or any abuse ESPECIALLY in her own home by her father is absolutely evil.

@mitsubachi6865

3 ай бұрын

Sadly such things happen because they care more about the financial safety they get from the marriage than for their kids. It was the case for my own family. She witnessed everything and didn't do a thing. She wanted to protect herself first.

@Cucumberstopickles

3 ай бұрын

Exactly! I don’t have a relationship with my mother. This story is eerily similar to my younger sisters. My mother knew. My sister eventually told me years later. My mother Knew! My daughter does not have a relationship with my mother because surprise surprise, she is still married to that man.

This poor woman had horrible parents!!!!! I am proud of this women for being so strong!!!!

@AS-gf5jn

5 ай бұрын

She has to be to survive all the trauma. God bless her!

If she feels hate towards her Mom it's 100% justified and normal. This is so sad. I had a friend that went through the same and cut off her Mom as well.

@ez2u1

5 ай бұрын

Exactly.

Do not talk to that Lady. She would let the something happen to your daughter and she would not say or do anything again. She is truly evil.

@jackieraulerson2005

5 ай бұрын

Not a Lady, a b of a female

@MSSHARIII

2 ай бұрын

💯💯💯

Her mother is evil , who has deceived herself into thinking she’s actually a decent human being. Well done Kayla for taking ownership of your life and changing the narrative for your daughter.

Can't choose your family but you can choose who can be a part of your life

As one writer put it: "MOTHER is the name for God on the lips and hearts of children". And this is no attack on mothers, but when a mother turns a blind eye to a child's abuse it does something to the psyche of that child that spins them into an abyss of despair and cognitive dissonance that is indescribable and immeasurable. I'm sorry, but when they build the gallows for the abuser, they have to build one for the enabler too.

@beelarehman5992

5 ай бұрын

Well said

NOTE TO KAYLA - You go, girl, for protecting your little girl like you were never protected!!! 🎉🎉🎉 You are AWESOME. 💕

Woah, the audacity of those people hiding that the dude is a pedophile is insane

@sportscarman5

2 ай бұрын

I agree and I want to know what Dr. John said right there because if you look, you can see there was a hard jump cut and they cut something that he said out.

I'm no lawyer but the fact that mom did nothing it is enough of a basis to charge her for neglect.

Congratulations on standing up for yourself and other women! Don't listen to any of the critics. You are incredibly brave. There is nothing right about what your Dad and Mom did to you. You are completely justified to choose to remove your Mom from your life. Just be honest with your daughter about your trauma as you set an excellent example of working through it.

@flashthecorgi2053

5 ай бұрын

I hope they’re no critics. This woman is so brave and strong. Wish nothing but the best to her and hope this guy gets put in prison for a LONG time!

Not telling her about the pedophile at the wedding, was mom (and others) protecting the feelings of the pedophile.

@eh1126

5 ай бұрын

You would be surprised at how family can be the worst enablers. Even for John Wayne Gacy, his whole family knew who he was and they completely looked the other way at him bringing around young boys. Families don’t realize that blood doesn’t run thicker than CRIME

My brother and I are 2 years apart (he is older). He SA'd me for about 3 years. A couple of years later, I told a school counselor and she told my Mom. Nothing legally could be done. My Mom did nothing but, take me to therapy. He tried again and again, my Mom did nothing. I'm 43 now and I still can't get over it.

@wittjablonski2699

5 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear you went through this. Good on you for telling your story. I think finding a therapist and walking through healing with a professional would be a really great next step.. You don't have to live the rest of your life stuck and frozen in the pain of the past. People do heal... And move on in their own way... And it looks different for every person. But it can't be done alone. ❤

@cubaricanclari

5 ай бұрын

@@wittjablonski2699Thank you. I've been in therapy for a long time. It's just hard to wrap my head around.

@noone-dv1jo

5 ай бұрын

Are you saying you wanted to take legal action against your brother?

@cubaricanclari

5 ай бұрын

@@noone-dv1jo something should have been done to protect me.

@cubaricanclari

5 ай бұрын

@@wittjablonski2699 I've been in therapy for a long time but it's just hard to wrap my head around.

Unfortunately, many victims engage in repression, marry someone who has also been traumatized and silenced, and then their children are in great danger. Condolences on the death of your innocence.

When I read some comments here... It absolutely DOES NOT matter how weak the mother was or what reasons she had to stay. Whether she was scared, weak, also abused or anything else, it DOES NOT matter. It creates a systemic error that puts the mother on the same level as the daughter and makes them siblings. If something like this were to happen to siblings of a similar age, it would be understandable that she didn't protect her. BUT she is the mother, and as a mother, she must - no matter what - take responsibility for the child and protect it. Even if it costs her own life. Life moves forward, not backward. If someone has to sacrifice themselves to fend off a monster, it should be the mother. If she is not willing to leave him, the daughter must do it later. Leave the family, being on her own, having no one, and being alone with her pain. And that is a damn tough and lonely life.

@MSSHARIII

2 ай бұрын

SO true!!!💯💯💯💯

@davinasquirrel7672

Ай бұрын

"Even if it costs her own life." So how is a dead mother able to protect the child or children from the grave? How do you know whether there was marital r*pe or other abuse directed to the mother? Can you be assured that the mother and children can actually survive after leaving? You sound like you are preaching from an ivory tower tbh.

@leslietarter2096

12 күн бұрын

Absolutely

Damn...this hits so close to home. I asked my mother why she didn't protect us from my unstable father, and take us away from him. She said she didn't want to hear her parents say "We told you so." So, because of pride, she swept the filth under the carpet and sanitized the scene. My mother said she considered my father to be a great lover, great in bed, and a good bread winner. Though I've tried, I can't seem to forgive her for sleeping with the enemy. I'm well into my 50's and I still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts. I visit my mother regularly, and I've tried to be a supportive, loving son, but knowing that she valued convenience more than her children, burns to this day.

@noone-dv1jo

5 ай бұрын

Did your father also molest you are what do you mean unstable

@kconnor2371

5 ай бұрын

The convenience and company, the sex, and the money as you stated seems truth. Scary the diversion of “we told you so”

@NickanM

4 ай бұрын

.......😢❤

@CE-do2vm

3 ай бұрын

❤

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

You were dealt a bad hand from the start, and it's amazing that you turned into what appears to be a really decent human being regardless. The truth is, you don't owe any of that care and kindness you've been giving her to a woman who put her sexual pleasure above your well-being.

In the two days since this aired, I've watched this video a half-dozen times already. The visual of standing and facing that ball of fire to protect your children behind you is very powerful. It is also the epitome of "MOTHER": "I will stand here and be burned before I'd ever let someone hurt my child". I have nothing but profound admiration for this woman's courage and the tremendous example she's setting for her daughter.

My father beat the hell out of me and my mother watched. It was hell growing up in my family.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

Been there, and done that, brother. Be strong and know you are bigger than the insult and better than your dad.

@abbyxiong3931

5 ай бұрын

I'm sorry you went through that. You had to survive. You didn't have a "childhood." I hope you're doing well and continue to get understanding and help for yourself.

@MsElaine1027

2 ай бұрын

Lived it. Survived, stronger than most, and found the blessings in the bad.

@davinasquirrel7672

Ай бұрын

@Billy; I want to ask you, was he "the boss of the house", meaning, he set all the rules and your mother had to do everything his way? Because in that scenario, even though she was the other adult in the room, she was also on the receiving end of his abuse as well. He sounds like he was an authoritarian tyrant (and abuser of course), and rarely does that type just stop at the kids, the wife is usually hostage in the same situation. Something for you to analyse.

@billyjohnson9166

Ай бұрын

@@davinasquirrel7672 I agree he was the boss

Mad respect for you sir, the way you handled this call... as a sexual assault survivor myself, WOW! You told her exactly what she needed to hear, and also what those absolute failures as her parents needed to hear too! To this woman, My entire being feels the urge to wrap my protective wings of healing around you sweetie! My god! But you ARE a survivor, and clearly a great mom. And if you ever need an ear please reach out!!! We are both oind on this weird, awful club that none of the members wanted to join, but support is so huge, commonality, etc. But wither way I wish you nothing but joy in life!!!

I would not let her anywhere near my daughter! She can't be trusted. 😮

Girl, you're telling my story. I'm 61 years old. I found my mother dead when she was 55, so no closure with her. I don't have a safe person yet! My first memory of abuse was 5 years old also. And my awaking was when my beautiful daughter turned 5. I hurt for you but also feel empowered by your courage. You are a queen! I hope you feel my support as you power through this journey.

My mother did this same exact thing. My step father abused both us. I let my mother know exactly how I felt about all the hurt that she caused me with her staying with my step father. When I had my own daughter I knew no one would ever hurt her like I was hurt. My thoughts are with this young woman and she gets through this! ❤

Complicity is not just as bad… but sometimes worse. It’s a betrayal that absolutely guts a person.

Awful mom just horrible person my heart breaks for this woman 💔

We REALLY need to stop pedestalizing mothers, many won’t help you stop being abused if it means jeopardizing their fake relationships with bad men. Mine wouldn’t even have the conversation with my dad to stop leaving his porn tapes in the dvd player.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

I truly believe my mother would have watched my father torture, and kill me, and cover up the crime. Then insist I be buried under a pretty pine tree, with flowers, and all the fixings. I often envisioned her visiting my grave often, to tell me I didn't deserve what happened, but I am in a far better place and no longer feel pain.

@lisamarieharmon8585

4 ай бұрын

I agree. Years later as an adult, I asked my mother why she enabled my father's abuse of me, literally calling me by name to go up to the bedroom because he was waiting for me (my entire childhood). She said, "I was afraid of being alone." I said, "So you sacrificed your own daughter on the alter of your emotional needs?" She said, "Yes. I'm sorry."

@lovenosa1105

4 ай бұрын

@@lisamarieharmon8585 I’m so sorry to hear this. You didn’t deserve that. My mum used the excuse of wanting to keep the family together, she was willing to keep it together no matter what he was doing but all our lives would have been better if he was not in the home.

I am so sorry. I can't listen. This is too painful. I'm so sorry to hear this woman went through this as a girl - she seems so strong and upbeat! I will pray for her family that they depart from abusive ways and that God gives them the courage and strength to help protect and supoort each other in healthier ways.

@brightpage1020

5 ай бұрын

@@k-mart7475- Is my boundary a problem for you? Many of the callers stories are so relatable and Dr. D. Seems very helpful and supportive. I'm glad she called and I hope she finds what she needs. I just feel exploitive listening to it. That's me. It doesn't have to be you and I didn't mean it against her. I did not mean to throw shade at all... just shuddering for kids this happens to. I am very close with somebody this happened to. And I know how it effects them even now as a grown up. People who survive this have to be some of world's toughest kids. I get too 😡 upset at parents like this. I get too mad. I can't. I don't even wish I had a stronger constitution I physically can't stomach it. And I'm lucky like that. Girl Who Survived This, you never should have had to experience that. Never. Ever. I would feel so sad for you and I do for that little girl you were but Woman, you sound like a powerhouse now. I hate that this and your mom's reaction helped shape who you are that you were forced to go through those double betrayals... so harmful... but I'd be proud of who you have become out of it and of all the people who you probably help today by having the courage to talk about it in a public sphere and bringing it to culture. I pray it helps somebody dealing with it to get the help and support they require. If not by their other parent, than from more trustworthy adults asap. I pray that now it has sharpened your instincts and that you can easily avoid predatory people from this point forward because you might have a 6th sense to recognize them right away and the knowledge to keep your distance. Clearly you didn't let it get you down long. Major props. Major. I wish no kid ever had to deal with that ever. Few years back, while my daughter's were small, I'd gotten into true crime stories. Trying to learn how to predict danger or trouble amd learn how folks come through times that tough. Read some Gavin DeBecker, used to watch true crime investigation stories once in a while... and back then there were a few long term kidnap victims who saved themselves or were rescued. Like Elizabeth Smart, Jaycee Duggard, & the Cleaveland Horror House... stories. And I wanted to support those gals so I read tjeor autobiographies about what they went through.. In almost each of those books there was a chapter I'll call the torture chapter. Like the reason each of those girls was taken and kept. I could barely read those either, if at all... too disturbing... because I'd read one by a British boymayne that one was a novel? ...It made me realize why each of those books had a chapter outlining that portion of their shared experience. 😳 Because that chapter was written selasciously to potentially tempt would be kidnappers or folks who fantasize about that kind of stuff. 🤔 For that reason, I jist can't... it turns my stomach. Not the gal who lived through it - but I'm lime allergic to that imagery. My body wretches. No. Not for me. I'm sure the Ramsey staff would stay away from anything toi graphic, but I can't even take that risk if I don't want to throw up. I'm very sensitive to it. Maybe too sensitive - for you. That's OK - with me. I don't feel the need to impress any internet strangers. I meant no offense. I hope you didn't either. Cheers and all the best to your future endeavors. 👍

@kjkernSerendipity

5 ай бұрын

Dissociation is powerful tool we have to use to get through and act normal.

@brightpage1020

5 ай бұрын

@@k-mart7475 it just feels exploitive to me even though I'm sure the Ramsay staff will handle it with grace and dignity as well as the sensitive integrity it requires I'm inspired by her strength in breaking the cycle now and courage to speak about it. I bet this call helps too many... victims of unspeakable crime. On their behalf, I feel grateful for her share. Even if I can't personally stomach listening knowing the ad revenue potential value (I'm in marketing)... And why this kind of story tends to stimulate a particular audience. I wish her more caring support from the internet than she got from her mom. And I know the Deloney staff will deliver.

This was my mom. Best decision of my life was shutting that door. This year makes 20 years of no contact. Right on, Dr.

To the caller, the regret is a lie. You will absolutely NOT regret going no contact to someone who turned a blind eye to abuse, IDGAF if that is your mother. She stood by while you were being abused, she is, by extension, ALSO your abuser. You may feel guilt, but that's a lie society tells you so you don't cut out your parents because other awful parents don't want to be cut out of their lives. it gets easier over time. The guilt goes away as well as the regret. In fact, I would say there isn't ANY regret, just what other people pressure you about.

@MSSHARIII

2 ай бұрын

So true!!!

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

Well said. I hope the caller can hear you.

When I confessed to my mother of my molestation at age 5, she feigned concern that I didn't tell her sooner. Even at that age i knew not to take on the guilt that she was trying to project onto me to deflect from her own feelings. At age 14, she had my molester pick us up from the airport. At age 15, i told her how i felt about her actions. She again deflected and told me that I should of told her then how it made me feel. Fake apology... I shouldnt have to. As an adult, I've run across him at a couple family events (e.g., funerals and weddings) she didn't organize and I've witnessed the low level shame that my mom had in the fact that I won't properly greet him and how that might look to others. I was forced to validate my own self. This past year however was the nail on the coffin when she personally invited him to a birthday event for my father without even telling my father (they're divorced but on good terms). Incredibly selfish and insensitive. I understood my dad not wanting to create a scene when he saw him at his event, but there was an inner sadness i had that he was too weak to stand for me, especially considering they never confronted him. Sadly i know that it's a cycle that my mom perpetuated, because she normalized not getting justice for her s. Assault as a child, and i sadly later was complicit in a similar situation involving my friend until i woke up to how messed up it is. I'll never allow this to happen to my future children. Thank you for offering perspective in this situation.

I just can’t imagine what this must be like, I almost feel guilty for having an amazing father 😕 and that isn’t to rub anyone’s nose in it, it’s to put out there that most men would NEVER EVER even think to do this to their daughters. So heartbreaking but this woman sounds incredibly pragmatic and strong and should be insanely proud of herself! Her mum is happy she’s NC because she is a constant reminder of the strength and integrity she’s never possessed because she has failed as a moral human and is likely evil.

The mom cared for the dad more than for the child. PERIOD. Worst part is in many cases, such moms are jealous from their children because they receive some sexual attention from their partners instead of them, in a twisted form of jealousy.

This story is eerily similar to my younger sister and my mother husband. I was out of the house at a young age due to physical & emotional abuse. I fought back, I never shied from confrontation because my mother never intervened in our arguments. but my sister was so timid and scared and quiet. I later found out about the S abuse she suffered because I was estranged for years from my immediate family. My mother knew what happened to my sister and although she eventually went through the courts she convinced my sister to change her story and brought him back into her home. My mother showed up on my doorstep and “gave” me my little sister and wouldn’t tell me why except she can’t live them anymore. My sister wouldn’t tell me for years. She was a shell and suffers from bipolar disorder. I’m amazed at her strength every single day.

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry you and your sister had that *thing* for a mother!

I too am proud of Kayla. Turn those tables and send that legacy clear and strong down through the many, many generations.

What an incredibly strong woman. I'm praying for her and her family. I have so much respect for people who go through trauma like this but still choose to be kind.

My heart goes out to the caller for all her losses and congrats her for her wins!

Great episode Dr John and production team. Thank you. I went through a very similar situation but ended up on the street at 16, staying in punk squats until 19, rather than stay in an abusive home. I have had a hard time walking through life with PTSD and general anxiety disorder; I miss out on a lot of life due to internal fears. I used to be high functioning, great marriage and career trajectory, but over the last few years have had a few events trigger me and I have fully retreated and reverted back to self-isolation and dissociation. But I'm in therapy and making progress every day. I'm learning to sit with my feelings instead of avoiding them. I'm learning to give myself grace and kindness. And I'm learning that my self-worth isn't tied to my job or productivity. I'm allowing myself to heal, finally, as a middle-aged punk. Much love to all you other survivors.

She needs to get away from the entire family! No more weddings, funerals, birthdays etc. They are all predators and predator-sympathizers!

She is so brave! It is a hard journey to stop generational abuse. Be brave and know you are saving your children and future grandchildren.

I find it strange she let her Mother have contact with her daughter. Hopefully never left her on her own with her. That woman cannot be trusted with the safety of a child.

She is so brave!!!!! To have the courage to go thru the process of prosecuting her father is the absolute right thing to do and NECESSARY!! Prayers to this woman for her courage & strength to be an example of what will not happen to the next generation. Job well done, mom!!

Having been molested at 5 by my grandfather (and an accomplice), my mom later told me he molested her at 10, he went to prison with her, but with me he found himself an accomplice, that accomplice went to jail but granddaddy went scot-free, some time last year my sister's daughter was molested (we suspect a female family member). So I understand your pain and fear. My mother stood up to him at least but my grandmother stood by him. It's just so disgusting. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through and applaud your courage for taking care of yourself and your daughter. You are a woman worth looking up to!

Also betrayed by a parent, and facing and accepting it is very hard. It is a true loss. Therapy helps.

Listening to this show demonstrates how lucky I am. Keep up the good work, man!

Every daughter deserves a mother like Kayla ❤

This happened to a friend of mine. She never got through it and committed suicide in her 50’s. 😭

...and mom said not hearing from you wasn't so bad? Whoever it was that even told you about this has an agenda of their own. Don't trust that person either.

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

Exactly! What a bunch of snakes!

When the caller said "that doesn't matter" and you reassured her that everything does, thank you for making her feel so VALIDATED!!! 💛 The caller is incredibly brave for taking all of the steps that she has throughout her life to seek protection for herself and now her daughter. Hats off to her! 💛💛

I love John but he does tend to make declarations before he has all the information. I’m glad he admitted he was wrong though, with that first statement about having regret for sure.

@dobrasil8479

5 ай бұрын

I felt the same thing. There are various reasons why you will cut your parent from your life and you will not even think about it.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

Dr. John takes too many prolonged pauses and I'm not always sure what he's asking of these people. And, you're right, he comes to quick conclusions without the facts.

Good for you!! Don't be the silent victim!!

Thing is, this mom eventually divorced and remarried and moved on anyway. Her daughter getting abused wasn't enough for her to do that. Screw that lady

Chdren need advocates. Mothers are suppose to protect kids!

This is similar to my story. I'm 31 and have just processed anger toward my mom in the last year. She hated that I needed space. She was also the other one working for the last 10 years of their marriage. It's disgusting and she still doesn't take any real accountability beyond words.

Yeh, when nobody stands up for you, it's a wound of betrayal. My therapist told me to stand really firm in my own interpretation of events. I have done that. The circumstances were different but I have the right to not be bullied out of acknowledging the truth.

Your mother was his first victim, she was weak, that is why he picked her.

@jlkkauffman7942

5 ай бұрын

Not necessarily! My wife’s mother did the same thing, however she is a narcissist, who controlled and manipulated everyone and everything that went on in the family.

@ip4157

5 ай бұрын

@@jlkkauffman7942 Mothers can give you reasons to cut them off, I limited visits by not telling my mom when the visit would be over until I decided it was time to take her home. I did see her as someone my father chose because he could run her. Now that she is passed, I miss her often. Thinking about her compassionately helps me. In a sinful world none of us are perfect.

@marymorris6897

5 ай бұрын

You're right. That may have been what happened. Since we don't know the woman, we can't tell. I know a family where this was indeed the case. The daughter never forgave her mother, who was just as much a victim as the girl was. This unforgiveness led to the young woman becoming even more mentally imbalanced.

@ip4157

5 ай бұрын

@@marymorris6897 The girl has options about how she handles the relationship with her mother, hopefully she will make the best of what is availabe to her. Nothing will change what has happened but she surely will not pass this on to her kids, if you heard the call you can tell that.

@jacksquat4140

5 ай бұрын

My unstable father told me he put my mother through a lot of tests before marrying her and she passed them all. I can only imagine that he discovered how pathetic and weak she was, because she would allow him to do anything he wanted, without saying a word, while cleaning up his messes. I blame her more than him.

The grief in having to mourn the mother who is still alive, over and over again is as bad as CSA

@YouDontSay99

4 ай бұрын

😭

@AN-dz7cq

2 ай бұрын

No, it is not.

Mom "found out" in 8th grade....mom shouldve known immediately if she cared at all about her kid.

My mother was abused by her Grandfather from an early age till mid teens. She thought she was ok, she was not. Please get help, because it WILL come back out and it will be terrible. You are doing the right thing!!

Aw... John really shined so bright here... His expertise in therapy and the male containment he gave and the hope and love and fury and insight was just so healing for this woman.... How awesome!!! Good job John 🎉

What kind of person knowingly dates and marries a pedophile? And further brings that beast around any children, never mind family.. Absolutely horrid. What a strong woman Kayla is. I'm in a similar family dynamic situation and have yet to find my way out.

@estherivanoff439

5 ай бұрын

I hope you get through it ❤

@macareuxmoine

4 ай бұрын

Notice, it was her stepsister. Probably abused too and totally normalizing it now in later life. I’m not justifying it, but this might have been the process how it happened.

I needed to hear this!!!!!! I have such a similar story so thank you for sharing!

The mother should be in prison

I'm so proud of this woman for helping herself and especially her daughter . God bless her.

Dr. John, you are 100% right on. Thank you. Been there.

This is heartbreaking. These are not parents but evils, I would never talk to them again, I would find me a community of wise and lovely women. Stay strong 🥹

I cried throughtout the clip. Brought me back to my past with my dad’s physical violence and mom doing nothing and watch. I always feel broken inside and not wanted and your show heals me a bit. Thanks

Such an amazing caller, such courage and strength, keeping her in my prayers!

So sorry this happened to you. I pray you heal 🙏🏾🙏🏾.

Really appreciate this vid. I know people that need to hear this episode.

Sadly we are made to carry the guilt as children for the toxic things parents have done to us. We are taught but she is your mother....It takes such a long time to get rid of that guilt. But if anyone else did to you what your mother did, would you stick around? Her sole purpose was to love and protect you. Because she didn't do that you now have to cut ties and do it for yourself without guilt. As long as she has decided not to protect you, you can't have any sort of relationship with her. You are so brave for trying to heal. It takes a tremendous amount of strength.

I’m so proud of her. What an incredibly strong woman ❤😢

Dr John is an amazing, compassionate voice of reason and support!

Kayla I’m so proud of you girl. I love you. ❤ Niagara 🇨🇦

He sure jumped the gun saying she'd regret cutting her mother from her life. I'm glad he apologized, but hopefully he'll do his job as a therapist and LISTEN so he doesn't have to apologize later.

@NatalieS-kh3ck

5 ай бұрын

Exactly

@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching

5 ай бұрын

Already listening to respond instead of holding space for her story. Yes, he course corrected and I would hope seek trauma-informed training so it becomes a better active listener.

@sylvias.3380

4 ай бұрын

I interpreted his statement quite differently at the beginning. I understood it more as regret being a form of sorrow and part of the process. He often says in his videos, "Choose Guilt, instead of Resentment."

@ArriahLaCole-dl3hl

4 ай бұрын

I think he means that even though going no contact is best for her, there will always be a voice underneath it all wondering if she made the right decision. Its like death dealing with death. You'll have your times where you'll be ok, but you'll still cry at random moments too.

You are brave and strong and a loving parent so go and do what you have to do heal. I’m one hundred percent behind you

We all strive to become the heroes we needed as children. Good for her 👏

Sad 😞 the ultimate betrayal . I hope she can get help . Good luck Kayla ❤

Powerful stuff. I’m in a similar situation and it was healing to see your outrage.

Thank you for this.

This is very emotional. You can hear it thru her voice. May the good Lord heal her heart!

I have the same story as this woman except my mom passed away when I was 15 and my dad was never prosecuted

Kayla, I applaud you for standing up for you and you daughter! It’s going to be hell with what you’re going to go thru! You chowing to go thru with this tells me what a great woman you are. Stand tall and go to a counselor that John has told you to go to. You’re a great woman for refusing to continue the abuse. When your daughter gets older and finds out about the hell you went thru and won. I hope she’ll give you a hug and tell you what a great person you are!❤️❤️❤️❤️

Kayla you are so brave!

I needed to hear this today..

But her mother was never there. She always knew, but she may have always wanted to have a mother-protector - but she never had that. What she now needs to do is to grieve something she never had - which is often harder, but should not take as long. He mother is a monster, but I also have questions about her brothers, who managed to attend a wedding, knowing there was a pedophile there, and did not break his bones - and even worse, stayed, and did not tell their sister. The whole family who stood aside while she was abused are quasi -abusers, and at least colluded. It seems they are still willing to let it go on. I would seriously consider to cut off contact with all of them.

I don't regret allowing my mom to drift away. She stopping talking to me after confronting her. I was abused by my relative at 5 and she beat me when i told her. I miss not having a decent mother but i don't miss her.

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

Horrible! You must have felt so betrayed and so alone. 😢

Parents should protect their children. Sad this happened to you.

I told my parents about my pedophile when I was 15. They just told me to stay away from him. They also got him counseling and he continued to be welcome in our home.

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

😮

I went through this personally, please give out any advice if u have any to me. The urge for revenge in these situations may bring u to jail

It’s passed on. Her sister was probably also abused, and so was her mother. They stay because this is the version of husband they’ve been taught.

Her brother is a coward as well. Why would he go back and tell his sister what the mom said about the daughter cutting her off wasn’t that hard; that was messy of him. From her sister marrying a ped to the mom and dad, she may want to consider minimum to no contact with that side of the family until they are ready to get help. You can’t make them but you must have boundaries to create a safe environment for you and your current family.

I stopped this generation curse, the same happened to me, mother enabled it, step mother, I was also emotionally and physically abused, this is rare, very rare, it's either one of these very rare for all three to happen, all 3 happened to me. I don't regret walking away at age 15, to start my life, once I had kids, my body went into defence for my kids, I was hyper that my kids were never, going to go through this, I shielded my girls with diligence, they've turned out pretty good though, but now I'm an empty nester, I'm very disconnected person.

Yes Kayla, if you're checking in on the comments, it's been four years since I decided I had to take a stand and it was torture to begin with but it is getting easier, I'm ruminating a lot less. I make sure I always haven another yoga class booked in so I think about that instead of thinking about my mother. xx

Jesus H Christ. This amazing woman!

You cut people off for a reason. No need to feel guilty about that, no matter who the person is to you.

Dr. D., you gotta stop making me cry.

Everyone in her life is sick

Possibly a chance her mother also suffered abuse and someone she probably told didn't help her either. There is a chance her mother could have suffered abuse and she may have never told anyone because she didn't have anyone to turn to or she has certain ideas or convictions about men that are old ways of thinking that she learned from her own family. The fact that this Woman's family attended an event where a pedophile was present says A lot about who she is as a person and what she stands for.

@NatalieS-kh3ck

5 ай бұрын

Who cares. Not an excuse. And BS she didnt have anyone you can always go to a shelter

@vickimerritt2832

4 ай бұрын

​​@@NatalieS-kh3cknot true, many are overcrowded and only admit the worse cases and you must financially be low income, your stay if admitted, is often only for a month or two, It is really never as easy as just leave, fighting back can get the victims arrested, and or killed and losing custody to the abuser, even today.

@vaska1999

2 ай бұрын

​@@vickimerritt2832 So it's better to let her daughter because sexually abused?! I hope you don't have any children.