That man must be in so much pain. Trying to take your own life and leave a wife and kids behind is not something you do unless you are going through something soul crushing. That man needs a very long and compassionate hug.

@RosasResources

3 жыл бұрын

He need to go within, no material things can truly make you happy.

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

Sorry, but that's not going to cut it. I'm sure she gave him plenty of hugs. He needs intensive mental health treatment. Immediately.

@jackcoleman5955

Жыл бұрын

I wanted to do this 2 years ago. I lost my job and my wife informed me she was unhappy with me sexually, and relationally and as a partner. I knew I couldn’t earn what I had been, and saw no hope for change. Fortunately, I got into a hospital program. My wife could not get past the resentment John called out in this woman. She hated when I was too sad for bathtime or struggled with house chores. She divorced me 3 months later. I am functional and stable today. Still unhappy, but much to be grateful for. Still in the mix for my 3 kids.

@lemongrass3945

5 ай бұрын

No he is selfish he is a terrible person

@thedog5k

4 ай бұрын

@@lemongrass3945partially correct, partially moronic

When I was a teacher, I had a student confide in me that she, her sister, and her mother had all walked in on the aftermath of her father's suicide. She told me that she can still hear her mother's screams many years later (I remain in contact with her to this day). I can't even imagine going through something like that. That poor girl was only 15 at the time, and her sister was only 12. I have had my own struggles with wanting to end my life, but part of what kept me from doing it was the knowledge that I would forever scar and devastate those I loved the most. If any of you reading this are struggling, seek help. Do not leave behind a legacy of pain and misery.

@fire12731

10 ай бұрын

I hear you. I struggle too

@Christopher-ms5ke

Ай бұрын

@@fire12731How are you doing?

This lady’s feelings are totally, completely valid. It was traumatic for her to find him like that. If she feels anger, she feels it, she can’t just turn it off. For those saying she sounds like she’s not compassionate, she has to hold down the fort and be strong for her kids and her husband. AND her husband deserves love, care and compassion. Depression isn’t what people who have never experienced it imagine it to be.

@pinkpugginz

3 ай бұрын

such a nightmare all around. the stay at home mom to food stamps and homelessness pipe line has ramped up severely over the past years. hopefully they figured it out.

The part at the end that john mentioned about mental illness was powerful. People don't take mental illness seriously.They give all kinds of concessions for physical illness, but not mental illness.

@muma6559

6 ай бұрын

But she said how do you trust him again? That was her question

@DiegoRisquez-nk3mk

3 ай бұрын

She was asking the wrong question@@muma6559

@mfawls9624

3 ай бұрын

Is mental illness included as 'in sickness'? Or do we need to revise the vows we take? Maybe lawyers should write the wedding vows. Make them more specific. Maybe include language about things like strokes, so that way if your partner is debilitated by a stroke you can walk away with a clear conscience, etc.

As the child of a suicide victim who saw little but saw enough, I can tell you that getting help for those children is important. They don't have the tools to understand what's happening now, but one day they're going to wake up and they're going to play that situation back in their minds and they're going to assume it was all their fault. It might be when they're 20 or 40 or older, but it will happen one day. They need someone to tell them that what happened wasn't their fault, and believe me when I saw, sooner is better.

This video brought me to tears. Men are always left behind when it comes to mental health. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We’re expected to be the providers, workers, protectors but who’s doing those things for us? As someone who has dealt with severe depression I’m so hurt for other men in pain because I know exactly how it feels

@Wtvrflotesurgoat

10 ай бұрын

Church communities are actually geared towards supporting men and no one is part of a church community anymore

@muma6559

6 ай бұрын

Single women have to provide for themselves too. When men have a supportive wife, it's usually not hard

@beckee6282

5 ай бұрын

Everyone is left behind when it comes to mental health. People will lie and say they’re there for you, but the majority of people abandon those as soon as it “gets too hard.”

@Berserk1Manga

3 ай бұрын

​@@muma6559well society gives unbelieveable support for females but not males when it comes to mental health. Also it's very hard even with a supportive wife. The hardest thing to deal with is the workplace, day in and day out. Especially making scraps like a lot of households are. Not being able to provide adequately for wife and kids while working your a off is a very hard burden.

@mildchaos6037

3 ай бұрын

⁠@@muma6559lol if your first reaction to this is “single women have it harder, men it’s not that hard” then there lies the problem. Nobody said women got left behind but you chose to bring it up anyway.

If this sweet lady is reading these comments, please know I am praying for you. That’s a heavy cross. I also have 4 children and I will pray for you to find joy and contentment in spite of everything.

@isay207

Жыл бұрын

Why bring 4 children into this situation?????

@sydneyknott6851

7 ай бұрын

@@isay207??? She knows how it feels to have this many children. She is simply relating. Take your negativity else where

What he said about suicide ... feeling like you become a burden to everyone, the world would be better off without you, it hurts too much there’s no other way out. Hard to believe that was me exactly a year ago. I praise God for delivering me from my six year battle. My heart goes out to this lady. I understand her frustration but it is so important for her to understand that no, it isn’t her fault, and yes, he is sick. It sounds crazy but when I had my episodes and saw how much I was hurting my husband when I cut or made another attempt it just caused me more shame which would later contribute to me getting closer to the end. My husband saved my life the moment he embraced me, forgave me, and committed to being my safe place with the help of the Lord. It was a process but we are now stronger than ever.

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

Same.....

@sydneyknott6851

7 ай бұрын

I am so proud of you! Praise Jesus!

I attempted almost two years ago. Its breaking my heart that I put the love of my life through the pain she is going through. She is being so supportive. I wish them the best.

@wellknown1204

3 жыл бұрын

I have never thought of ending my life in my 22 years of living in this earth, so i can't say i understand the emotions and feelings of them. I just want to say, live your life to the fullest sir, live them day by day. I used to think the problems in front of me are bigger than me, but when you tired and felt defeated by them today, sleep and regain your energy for tomorrow is a new day to go. I hope you are doing better and take care of yourself and your family!

@chukah9484

2 жыл бұрын

Name checks out

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

I hope you're better

@debfox

Жыл бұрын

I lost the love of my life that way. I promise you that your loved ones are so very grateful you’re still here. I would’ve done anything to keep him here! You matter and you’re so loved! You’re here for a reason! There’s people only you can touch with your life!

Being the mother of 4 kids 7 and younger is hard. Being the father of the same is hard. Staying at home with them is hard. Providing for them is hard. Being married is hard. I wish all of them, especially those kids, Godspeed. All of us need some compassion because life is hard.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

They did it to themselves though. People need to really consider this kid stuff. You can't just make babies and think it will all work out. I blame us women for this though. We get a vision in our head what we want our family to look like and how we want things to be. We don't consider what is does to our spouse.

@debfox

Жыл бұрын

@@ineedhoezyour lack of empathy is appalling! Situations change. COVID took a huge toll on many. Kindness matters!

John Delony is a blessing to this world! Thank you for all the wisdom you share, Dr D!

@TartarianTopG

3 жыл бұрын

You look like a cross between gabe erwin and Brent rivera lol

@ShadelessGhost

3 жыл бұрын

@@TartarianTopG ?

She cant imagine him coming back. I feel like he was scared to death that he wasn't making enough money. Poor guy, he better be strong enough to ask for divorce

If you don't put down your anger and hatred, those 2 forces will destroy you and everyone around you.

This is when he needs you the most. Give him all the love you can give him. He needs to know how much he’s loved. Don’t give up on him, he will get better but it takes time.

@nhgriff1

3 жыл бұрын

She needs to protect the kids first.

@patrickbonnettgarcia8504

2 жыл бұрын

@@nhgriff1 disagree , the kids are fine but a marriage is important even in your vows it says to protect and be there for your love one in the good and the bad times and he’s going through hell , the fact if the roles were reversed it would be caring for her first and etc . But then again a fathers mental doesn’t matter to you .

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

@@patrickbonnettgarcia8504 WOW. So, just forget the kids huh? Ultimately that man and woman chose to bring those kids into the world without their permission. They are owed everything. Including a father that's making a commitment to better his mental health. I hope you never have children.

@yuliet_x0

Жыл бұрын

@@patrickbonnettgarcia8504 I agree if the roles were versed they wouldn’t be saying that because it’s a woman… The world is so cruel towards men. Men are the ones who are more likely to commit suicide. Men don’t receive flowers if lucky they receive it at their funeral. Men barely receive compliments. Its okay for a woman to cry, but if a man does it he gets laughed at or is told that its not “manly” I’m just so tired of the selfishness, and ignorance.

@yuliet_x0

Жыл бұрын

@@patrickbonnettgarcia8504 if the roles were reversed*

People don’t talk about suicide beforehand because all they’ll get is, oh don’t be like that, that’s just crazy talk, you’re just trying to get attention, blah, blah,blah. That’s why when someone does actually do it, you hear, I never saw it coming, he/ she seemed fine just a few hours ago. It’s taboo to talk about the thoughts, because no one wants to hear it.

@kaidiver4306

3 ай бұрын

YES, YOU SAID IT BEST..

@VioletEmerald

2 ай бұрын

​@@kaidiver4306 But some people do want to hear it and don't react that horrible, insensitive way

Can’t help but think this guy was probably losing his business and marriage.

@xyzsame4081

3 жыл бұрын

OR he was holding on to his dream and it helped to keep depression at bay. And when he was succesful he found out that did not cure whatever he tried to cope with or to keep down. It is less known but getting depressed after "winning" is a thing

@xxx0ox0

3 жыл бұрын

@@xyzsame4081 100%. The first commenter probably did say the most likely situation yours is very common. He had a wife who really loves having all four of her kids and is glad to stay at home with them and finally his own business that was doing well. Yet he was still cutting himself and when he was caught there was so much shame he finally went through with it. Their are people out there who will never feel good enough for many reasons

@DrFrankenschtein

3 жыл бұрын

@@xyzsame4081 You guys aren't very good listeners. The wife stated that something happened at work, i.e. the dream went down the tubes, and he went with it. It's wild out there y'all.

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

Perhaps

"HE never got the success that WE had both hoped for." That speaks volumes.

@luminous6969

3 жыл бұрын

He wanted to be successful for his family, not sure which part you didn't get.

@xyzsame4081

3 жыл бұрын

no red flags. he may really have wanted the career and the biz and she SHARED his vision. Of course also because it meant financial security for them. Btw: sometimes at the peak of success people sometimes find out that THIS also does not cure whatever they tried to keep at bay. Maybe he was able to sweep it under the rug, keep it at bay with the hope all would be well and he would finally feel good or at peace as soon as ..... And then he was successful and found out: Nope, that does not cure whatever he struggled with.

@RandomPerson-nd2ey

3 жыл бұрын

@@xyzsame4081 maybe or maybe she became so invested in his success in his career that him not achieving all those goals disappointed her. I'm not saying she's a gold digger but perhaps she was essentially expecting to rise to the top with him. When that didn't happen, she became resentful. That could have led to comments, distancing, controlling, etc. If he's already vulnerable and failed at his goals, it makes sense that he could become depressed. I mean, I had a plan before that would have set me up for life. All day every day was all about that until it fell apart. Losing it all was devastating and led to some bad times so I sympathize. I've recovered and make good money now. Point is that the mindset was "I have NO other choices. This MUST work." It didn't.

@whitneyw.7919

3 жыл бұрын

Well duh, she's at home, she doesn't contribute any money so someone has to be successful. that's a lot of pressure on his shoulders though

@elizabetha8565

3 жыл бұрын

Jackie B you dont hope for success for your husband?

This is so traumatic for a mama (and the kids) trying to be strong for her family, praying for this family.

I feel so bad for the family dealing with this. I hope everything works out.

Bravo John! I thought you addressed and handled this very well. You are a great addition to the Ramsey family!

Dr. Deloney did a great job with this one.

Such beautiful, compassionate advice!

My heart breaks for them and I can relate - my brother also tried to commit suicide and also has 4 kids :(

@gytisdobrovolskis7355

2 жыл бұрын

Seems very common with 4 kid dads. Mine worked 3 jobs and fell on alcohol streaks at times. It's no easy task to support 4 financially, you can only blame yourself for getting into such a hard situation without a relatively safe plan.

Whitney, bless you!! I'm so sorry you and your boys went through this. Dr. John was spot on that trauma integrates in your life as a child. It is something that finally caught up with me as an adult. My heart is with you. ❤

Doctor Delony did a great job here.

John is a gift to this world and a blessing to the Ramsey community.

Dr. D is so amazing! A true gift from God. I can only hope to find a man like him.

It could be genetic, it could be external tigger. It’s never easy for those who are suicidal. They are not weak. They are suffering.

This brought back so much trauma. I witnessed my schizophrenic aunt slash her throat. I get her.I remember when she came out of the hospital, how we would always hide the knifes. Took us so long to trust her again

@muma6559

6 ай бұрын

Yeah, the question was about trust

It must be really hard for her, but I feel like she's got little compassion for him. She didn't say she wants him to recover for his own sake, but for the others: to provide for the kids, then be a father, then be a husband. I understand he left her in a very difficult situation, but hearing her speak makes me feel like the guy did not have a fully supportive wife before doing what he did.

@mweiss505

3 жыл бұрын

She did say first goal is he should be healthy

@zavinovacka

3 жыл бұрын

After many years of struggling with suicidal threats one looses the compasion along the way..

@gytisdobrovolskis7355

2 жыл бұрын

@@zavinovacka did you watch the video? There were no suicide threats it came suddenly.

@reinamacaren-a4132

2 жыл бұрын

@@gytisdobrovolskis7355 Cutting self

@gytisdobrovolskis7355

2 жыл бұрын

@@reinamacaren-a4132 that he hid. Maybe you didn't experience or see examples where people actually threaten suicide - as in "if you don't love me I'll kill myself" and similar.

These folks are in my thoughts and prayers

Poor kiddos! This is heartbreaking 💔 😢

this is so sad. I hope this lady, her husband, and her kids find peace and healing asap

This wife is amazing. She sensed something and was doing everything possible to help him and found her husband in time to save his life. Incredible 💖💖💖💖 And Doc Delony is brilliant. 🙏✨ Hope this situation all works out for this family.

Dr. Delony is a treasure.

Wow. Thank You John.

It's interesting to read comments and compare other's interpretation to mine. It tells me a lot about myself and where I'm at. I just saw a doctor and his patient (caller) spend all the time they needed together. What did you see?

This is the in sickness and health that the vows are for. Hard stuff. Good advice. Hope they heal from this.

@auroramothergoddess

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t get married

@shola7987

3 жыл бұрын

@@auroramothergoddess noted lol

Man that is so hard. I wish Whitney and her family all the best and as am sending her love and patience. This is not an easy road that is ahead of them

Willingness on his part to use the tools to get and stay well are crucial. I went through this and lost everything.

My 25-year-old sister died of a brain aneurysm last week. Please please remember how precious life is. If you’re suffering with depression, anxiety or suicidal thoughts, please please reach out and get help. You are loved people do want you around and take care of yourselves. Wishing all the healing sending good hugs and good vibes to this family.

@AnnaMaria-qu6ec

Ай бұрын

😢

Wow, this excellent advice.

Wish you the best!

To everyone remarking how off the caller sounds, keep in mind we are hearing only the Cliff’s Notes of her situation. While it is possible to glean certain things based on her demeanor over the phone, it is IMpossible to know exactly what’s happening behind the scenes and the history this couple has that might have led to attempted suicide. We have to stop assigning our standards to other people. The truth is, unless any one of us has been there, we don’t know what we would do, and even then, none of us would react to / deal with it the same way. There are so many variables, and every situation is different. Also, she might have medicated herself and / or steeled herself before she made the call. You know, so she wouldn’t fall apart whilst relaying her story. I commend her for being proactive in seeking help as to how to move forward. She’s allowed to be mad, sad, resentful, cautious, guarded, anxious, and she’s surely in fight or flight mode. AND, she’s got four littles to care for and protect. Grace, people, GRACE. Peace!✌️💜

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

You would think this is common sense but unfortunately it’s not. We have no idea how she’s dealing with this behind the scenes.

@genxis6097

3 жыл бұрын

N T, yes! And there’s a lot of armchair psychoanalysis going on, isn’t there? 😑

@thiccpicc3255

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly. If she's going to get the advice she needs and be heard she can't exactly be bawling the whole time. I hope she is safe.

@SheilaNorthcutt

3 жыл бұрын

Also, she doesn’t have the luxury of dwelling in the emotional abyss. She had to emotionally distance or else there will be no parents for her children.

@lv8902

3 жыл бұрын

@@genxis6097 Well, isn't that pretty common. At the end, it is the comment section.

This man must be in so much pain God bless your family

She saved his life. I hope his kids are able to hold and play with their father again.

Bless your heart, sweetie...thank God you got him INPATIENT care in Fl. GA’s mental health system is awful. (I’m in Atlanta, too). I pray that your husband has gotten better....

This woman is absolutely amazing

Im sorry for her situation. She's a good person. Really sad. He never got the success "we" hoped for? Stop having kids and start working outside of the home.. 2 incomes leads to financial peace at home.. seen that happen. It gives her confidence too..

@amandasdesignsofficial

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I get the feeling he just broke from feeling so much pressure...

i've been here without the kids. nobody asks for mental illness. it's a terrible burden. john is right about setting aside the anger, etc. she's got a big struggle as a result of all this. i wasn't burdened with that as we had separated by the time she tried this, but i was still able to have her civilly committed. actually the court did that part. we knew it wasn't working and clergy advised i depart, so i did. it was hard, but i was at least able to save her life.

Does anyone else not hear any sadness in her voice? I don't know, something sounded off about her demeanor 🤔

@firebird6522

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. And when the host asked her how she was, she said she was fine. What?!? If she's fine, why did she call?

@michaelmarquez6133

3 жыл бұрын

She is a heartless b**** she actually said that she was mad at him

@heyjess7232

3 жыл бұрын

She doesn't have room to feel sad right now. Responsible for 4 boys and just had a huge trauma, as a newly single parent, income loss, everything. Don't shame this woman. She's freaking resilient and has done everything she can to save and heal her family.

@commandershepard9601

3 жыл бұрын

Shes upset that her work horse isn't working. She talks about her husband like he's a malfunctioning car.

@heyjess7232

3 жыл бұрын

@@commandershepard9601 if that's all you got from her story, then... yikes.

I’m happy I found your show Doc!

When is his live show on??? PST time, if you know, please.

WOW THis is shocking I dont know what to say I cant imagine anything more devastating! = O

12:25 .... this lady seems extremely focused on money.... I mean I understand 4 kids is a lot of work but from the start to the end of this conversation, all the subtle hints of "expectations" regarding him providing for the family is disturbing. Doesnt sound like a loving relationship it sounds like one of convenience. Maybe they agreed to those roles and he realized he needed more and felt he had no way out

@commandershepard9601

3 жыл бұрын

Hes probably working like crazy and she probably ignores him emotionally and takes him for granted. He obviously feels like he has noone to talk to and suicide was a way out. I feel for the guy. He married a heartless user.

@MW-qv5ox

3 жыл бұрын

You can feel the uncaring parasitic gold digger in her voice.

@grizzlybear2702

3 жыл бұрын

Im honestly surprised she hasn’t divorced him yet. The alimony payment will make him so much more depressed that he chooses a more brutal method

@divinecrime

3 ай бұрын

@@commandershepard9601 Those are some WILD assumptions from a stranger on the internet who isn’t a professional and has never even met this woman and doesn’t know anything. You should really delete your stupid comment. You know what they say about people who ASSume.

Once you get the point were your ready to take your self out. Talking about it is to late. I literally had to take the extreme action of sky diving to get my self out of because I knew it scare me so much to bring out my fight or flight. Depression is usually no match for your body’s survival instinct unless you have a loaded gun to your head that could end you immediately. If you have to think about your body always over powers your depression.I have a horrible fear of heights and it didn’t take long for all of my suicidal thoughts to vanish the moment I signed the papers to jump. If I had kids though that would give me a reason to live. I couldn’t kill my self and leave my kids.

@loliwemoyo5680

3 жыл бұрын

Sadly some dads think their value is only financial so they set up that life insurance and tap out.

Screw careers. Enjoy the morning air, the grass beneath your feet, the breath in your children’s lungs. There is hope and life outside but please don’t see one means as an end to your existence. Have faith in God that there is a higher power that protects. May God protect you and keep you strong I can’t imagine what this lady is going through but also this husband. ❤

Only found this channel recently and I have to laugh every time John opens the call with a super over the top "How's it going" sort of vibe knowing majority of folk calling in are calling about a traumatic experience 😂 " goooood morning how you doooin...." Followed by " yeah my husband tried to commit suicide". Granted this episode was actually one of the more chilled intros by John but I can't help but laugh each time 🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

Why is there so much hate for this woman? Who knows what kind of person she is. However her husband clearly has a lot more issues than her and tried to KILL HIMSELF WITH THEIR KIDS present. That is much, much worse than anything she could have done.

@katwilliams2950

3 жыл бұрын

Is it tragic that the family had to go through that? YES! I feel bad that all of them are going through this and her feelings are not invalid. However, when she married him it's for rich or poor, and in sickness and in health. The entire time she pretty much seemed like she is ready to go. I feel little compassion for her husband..shes almost cold and distant. The man was so down he tried to end his life!!!! But the questions she's asking and her expectations of him seems a little unreasonable for something so severe that happened 3 months ago. One of which was in the hospital. She wants him to be healthy, but the very next thing is shes saying he has to provide for the family. I'm assuming but why doesnt she go get a job to help out. She seems unwilling to change her and her family's lifestyle to live within their means. If that means the kids have to get out of sports for a couple years and she gets a job or starts something on the side to help take so much career pressure off her husband, so be it. She knows it's an issue. It will help at least financially. Shoot, sell your house and get something smaller. This is just my perception from the outside, and I know I am probably wrong in some ways or maybe I'm crazy for feeling this way, but maybe if she was less concerned with unecessary comforts she'd have the emotional ability to fight to keep her marriage and family.

@shola7987

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I don't get the comments either ..she saved this man's life. And she has alot of kids.

@Skirt_Cobain

3 жыл бұрын

@@katwilliams2950 I agree completely. She needs someone to let her know that it’s her turn to provide for her family financially. I got the impression that she doesn’t work outside the home and she almost seemed bother that now SHE has to handle the finances. I mean even if they separate or divorce she’s going to have to find a way to provide for the children. He may not be able to work for quite a long time and may actually end up permanently disabled after this. Meaning he will qualify for disability but that won’t be anywhere near enough to pay child support and/or alimony. My heart goes out to this man, the children, and for this lady because she’s got a big wake up call coming. I couldn’t believe how often she kept saying “I, I, I, I”. Very sad.

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

It’s interesting how people like to psychoanalyze the callers. Her husband tried to kill himself with the whole family outside but the wife is the crazy one...

@Ryan_DeWitt

3 жыл бұрын

@@NT-bz5nh Exactly, she may be a very crazy woman and a bad wife. I do not know. However trying to kill yourself with you family outside is a whole other level. She's got nothing on him.

Sounds like the husband hasn’t gotten much support. Maybe he didn’t let it happen, but none the less. It is his recover but their dreams?

I don't think she's really concerned about this man, more-so what he provides.

@divinecrime

3 ай бұрын

He’s the one who tried to kill himself because his job life wasn’t what he fantasized it would be. It’s called LIFE and he can’t even handle it without traumatizing his children.

Concentrating on the children first is really important. But this poor woman is holding it all together. I feel like to make this attempt at such a time when he knew she would see it and the kids would be involved was so selfish and cruel. The timing was appalling.

The man's wife seems supportive, up to a degree. While she loves him, I pick up that she is mainly concerned with his ability to provide and their image and standing with the family and community. He's the family plow horse, she reaps the benefits of the income, status, has her children while the husband hasn't been listened to, validated, believed in, and has probably, unwittingly or not, been undermined by a proud wife.

@texan903

3 жыл бұрын

She is not the most understanding or empathetic or compassionate woman.

@Cathy-xi8cb

3 жыл бұрын

You do not understand mental illness. At all. Frustrated, unappreciated husbands don't cut, and hang themselves or cut their throats, which are the two likely ways he has lost his voice.

@abark

3 жыл бұрын

Everything was about her.

@charlieulmer-scrantonscomm2388

3 жыл бұрын

They have four boys!! She’s not complaining she wants a new car! Her husband attempted suicide, someone’s gotta feed the kids. The man had too many kids and was stretched too thin.

@cf9844

3 жыл бұрын

Only women, children and dogs are loved unconditionally.

She thinks he’s a bad guy for doing this. She’ll probably never forgive him.

@JackMason-oq8lf

2 ай бұрын

SHE may be the reason he wants to kill himself. It's possible SHE is driving him crazy.

This was very powerful. When she asked about "trust", my first thought was, "well, trust him to do what exactly?" This past year, i learned a ton about mental illness and had to reframe my ideas of trust and lying. I had to recognize that friends going through various illnesses aren't TRYING to hurt me. I feel for Whitney.

I come to this show to get life experience before I even grow up

Seems like there was a lot of pressure on this family for many, many years. Really sad to see. I hope everyone is able to tone it back and really see the blessing of this all. Highly recommend Brene Brown to gain a different perspective on life. Rather than getting new jobs, more money, staying at home, etc. - life is really about a walk around the block, playing with the kids, enjoying a family dinner together, etc.

This lady going to have a hard life. She has to stay strong.

@mogusmonroe9431

3 жыл бұрын

Not necessarily. If she sticks it out, they both could be ok. I made it through it and she could too. I thought divorce at the time. Thank God I did not follow through. She is an unbelievably good mother. Never could ask for anyone better. Stick it out I think. Having said that, I always worry about it coming back. God bless. But you chose him. Unless your children are threatened, stick it out. Your life is secondary.

@whitneyw.7919

3 жыл бұрын

@@mogusmonroe9431 How do you know that she is an unbelievably good mother? Do you know this women personally?

@inthebooks3947

2 жыл бұрын

So is he

So sad 😟

I would love to know how they are doing now

Am I the only one that thinks this isn’t about her , this is about you “husband “ needing help from his wife , she is too busy judging him for having issues , society has painted a picture that men are like machines , with no feelings and are not vulnerable, The judgment I hear from her when she said “ ohh my god what did you do to your legs and runs to call his parents “ what he needs is support , not visitation rights to his children because she isn’t sure if she wants to continue with him

@TomikaKelly

3 жыл бұрын

Shes a wife, NOT a savior. Leave him in the hospital and move on with the children.

@songohan9240

3 жыл бұрын

@@TomikaKelly I guess having each other’s back isn’t in your books

@auroramothergoddess

3 жыл бұрын

HUH?!?! She’s a mother thinking about the safety of her children

@songohan9240

3 жыл бұрын

@@auroramothergoddess By all means do what you have to do for the safety of your children . But everyone needs support at times .

@xXVegetaXx

3 жыл бұрын

@@TomikaKelly wow you must not be married, i hope if you get post partem depression they leave you in the hospital and your husband moves on with the kids.

This woman checked out from her marriage. I don’t blame her. However, there is some lack of understanding in her that I cannot get rid of thinking about. She has more expectations from him than he can give, and it’s up to them to decide what they want to do about it. Did he feel as failure his whole life or she contributed to it? On other way, she has normal, average expectations that they both need to work, but I would say she is way more ambitious than he can deliver and if they continue to live in that kind of dynamic, he will try to kill himself again.

@Hamyhamster24

3 жыл бұрын

@wowalinbie actually modern women nowadays are a lot more self sufficient. It’s the older generations that put more pressure financially on the men.

@veracityhunter7777

Жыл бұрын

It sounds like you are blaming her for his decision.

@ineedhoez

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. 4 kids is too many in today's times. 4 kids AND a one income home? No damn way. I blame her. Being the sole provider to 5 people is impossible.

@AnnaMaria-qu6ec

Ай бұрын

I guess he agreed to that and than it was to much for him. And according to what he believes about life - he is a failure.

How can you trust your kids around him unsupervised ?

Wow that is so heavy...

I attempted suicidal thoughts and tried to do it. Many times it took me a very long time to recover and I’m still struggling with depression sometimes and recently I was in the hospital last year for a whole week. So it’s a journey as of now, I cut everyone out my life but my little sister because she’s someone who I really trust and who’s a therapist!! Just wanna share my story!

It's gonna be a long road! I don't mean to sound mean but I agree with her on not having him the home! As a parent of 2 daughters that both cut!! It's EXTREMELY Exhausting on putting everything up! Yes I'm trying to keep them safe but they're working against you! Many long years of fights, broken relationships, blood , and tears!! Sometimes I wished I would do it over and different! No they don't get it when we are angry cuz they don't care! They can't see what they do to the ones holding the bag! Work on you and the kids!

@pinkcyclop

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry you're dealing with That.

@bufficliff8978

4 ай бұрын

You haven't kicked your kids out, though. So.

This is more proof that being alone has nothing to do with feeling lonely. Loneliness and alone are not the same thing.....

She’s his wife, not savior. Right now, only professionals can rescue him. She needs to focus on her health and the kids. DHS will most likely get involved for the kids protection and resources for mom. Otherwise, it’s not her job to save her marriage right now. It’s her job to keep food on the table. I really hope that once he’s stabilized, he will follow through on his mental health care. I work in healthcare and far too often so people attempt suicide, are hospitalized for some time, loaded up on psych meds and then discharged but don’t follow through on counseling or intensive therapy. Then the cycle begins again. I hope their extended family and friends step up for support as well.

@augustusplays7896

3 жыл бұрын

In sickness and health lol

@joseaguirre744

3 жыл бұрын

@@augustusplays7896 If it was her it would be different.

@m.a.156

3 жыл бұрын

I disagree, professionals can't replace a caring family that loves you, it's not the same ... he is too fixated on his work and feels useless without it, he needs to quit his job and throw all his money and go live like a monk for 1 to 5 years, relaxing and meditating ... throw away the system of money before throwing your life. His wife should support him by starting to work and providing food for him while his is meditating ... she should do this as an act of gratitude, saying thank you for the all time he was working and providing for his family for 7 years or so, with no expectation of getting anything back from him or for him to work again in the future ... so she should tell him that she likes to do this, it makes her feel good to pay him while he meditates. If he doesn't agree to this then he should go to mental health care. If she is putting food on the table now anyway ... is it too much ask to buy extra food for your husband?

@Normiebear

3 жыл бұрын

I agree. I felt the same way. maybe she needed permission to let go of the Marriage for her own mental emotional health. I know what it feels like to be on both sides. I feel like taking care of a mentally ill dad made me mentally/ emotionally ill because I didn't understand how to say no and what boundaries to set up. It's hard walking with an addict or a mentally ill person and not allowing it to crush you. She needs to make the decision that will help her have emotional strength for her kids. Her husband may not want to get help. That is very real too. I also wondered how safe it would be to have him around the kids. I never had kids but if I did I would have felt unsafe leaving them around my dad. The more times he attempted suicide the worse he became.

@mikechris6208

3 жыл бұрын

She’s his wife, not his girlfriend.

See it as an illness-as if it’s a fast dangerous cancer. 2020 is killing people who have NEVER had depression-this is NOT a personal failure. He may be feeling a lot of shame. You need to do everything possible to reduce anything that might feed the shame. Even “getting professional help” can cause a lot of shame- You need counseling to process your anger otherwise it will be a negative feedback loop.

Almost sounds like she was causing the majority of the stress. How can you be that mad at someone who was clearly hurting?

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

She’s allowed to be angry at her situation. Thank god her kids didn’t witness it. Also, why didn’t he get professional help if he was stressed. So many people are giving this guy a free pass and blaming the wife. His suicide attempt is all on him. No one or nothing made him do it. He has serious issues that only professionals can help with. His wife cannot help him out of this. He has to want it for himself.

@nikkizetlian4421

3 жыл бұрын

@@NT-bz5nh the first emotion she should have had is compassion not anger. She sounds way to calm. I am very suspicious.

@mogusmonroe9431

3 жыл бұрын

@@nikkizetlian4421 I would be too Nikki. But you don't have four boys to rear on your own. Having said that, she chose him and best to try to figure it out for the kids sake. Divorce is not good for kids.

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

@@nikkizetlian4421 anger is the first stage of grief. Not compassion.

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

@@nikkizetlian4421 it’s very easy for you to say what she should and shouldn’t feel, isn’t it? Have you experienced grief? I haven’t to this extent, thankfully but even I know everyone’s journey through trauma and grief is different. She’s allowed to feel angry at her husband for trying to take his life with the kids home. She’s angry for feeling her life is spinning out of control. I guarantee you his health care providers arent showing him compassions right now. Everyone’s job is to help him become more stable. I think she would feel compassion if he expressed his stress depression or stress and taking it out on his family like this. I’m concerned he’ll be homicidal towards his family if he checks out too soon.

She's already left him, the marriage. She's trying to figure out how to start over with a broken father to her children. Mental health care is in its infancy and is not going to make much difference. She now know she will have to be looking out for this in her 4 boys.

Her husband tried to kill himself and this whole call was about her-- I wonder what could have played a part?

@chevonnestaton4757

3 жыл бұрын

She needs help too. It is traumatic to have gone through this. I would think about what in your heart would make that comment.

@seanrybolt3136

3 жыл бұрын

What? That’s not what this call was about at all. What a stupid comment.

@Faith-un7ns

3 жыл бұрын

She needs to be strong for him. She can’t fall apart because she’s going to have to take care of him and her kids. That’s a lot on her plate.

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

It sounds like she has a lot of her plate. Give her a break. She’s trying for herself, kids and her husband. She’s not superwoman.

@rachelgooden9981

3 жыл бұрын

You can’t help anyone if you don’t help yourself first. She needs to look after herself first. Then the kids. And then him! You hear it on an airplane when pilot says put oxygen in your face first BEFORE assisting others. When Docs are not whole they are harmful to patients! I need someone to look after me who is whole. It’s very important. We need to understand this!

There were plenty of red flags. Something about this lady doesn’t sit right with me.

@sierrairick1704

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same way.

@rachelmorgan6291

3 жыл бұрын

Can you explain.... What is not sitting right with you towards this lady?

@gambers20001

3 жыл бұрын

She seems a little too controlling

@rachelmorgan6291

3 жыл бұрын

@UCqExAUEO6mYiRCwdu_JsgFg I really dont think that is the case. She is going through stages of grief. Right now she is in the anger and shock stage. Asking "why?" She is getting her husband help and trying to be strong for her kids.

@michelleschrader1999

3 жыл бұрын

I thought so too at first. Then I wondered if maybe she is still in the anger stage of grief - like angry at her husband for trying to take himself from his family and cause them so much hurt.

Dr. John, how are you feeling ? This is a lot of burden for one person to listen all the time.

They aren't addressing that job one is to keep the children safe.

@xyzsame4081

3 жыл бұрын

he did not try to take the children with him. If they separate and he ends his life - his boys will still be traumatized from it.

@whitneyw.7919

3 жыл бұрын

Safe from what? life..... Don't think the father is a danger to his children, sounds like he just wants to kill himself

@NeccoWecco

3 жыл бұрын

Regardless of the dad being home or not, the children would be affected by the loss of their father.

She's acting as his mom, not his lover. And I doubt that is a new thing.

@ryanhutchinsen

3 жыл бұрын

I noticed this at the beginning and it only increased the further she went on. She talks like a nurse giving you instructions over the phone on how to schedule an xray. very mechanical and detached. "I really wanted a whole program that could...he could be at for a while and really figure out what was going on..." She clearly doesn't see this as a team effort.

@rachelgooden9981

3 жыл бұрын

He turned her into that. Rather, his depression and demons turned her into that.

@rachelgooden9981

3 жыл бұрын

@@ryanhutchinsen he’s not rational

@niceguysfinishtrashed6329

3 жыл бұрын

I mean, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Bottom line is that she makes it sound like the whole thing is his fault. Like if he would just snap out of his depression, everything would be hunky dory. I know what it feels like to be romantically involved with someone who acts like a mom and not a lover and I was depressed too. Its a horrible feeling and I can't imagine what it would feel like to be MARRIED to someone like that.

@TomikaKelly

3 жыл бұрын

If a person constantly needs mental attention, that's not a liver that's a child.

Damn.... Listen. This may not be a popular opinion, but as a woman, I would never want my husband to carry the full burden of the household. If that means we cut down on the number kids, so be it. It is one thing when you are independently wealthy or have saved and invested so that one partner can stay home with the kids. However, if you are working class, you need to seriously consider 2 incomes. Remember, you can be working class and making a million a year. The point is that your WORK for a living. You have to manage the stress it puts on the earning partner. Owning a small business is even more complicated. The reality of knowing that if you fail, your whole family burns. She is lucky he wasn't a family annihilator. That whole 1950s woman stays home was propaganda to make jobs for men returning from war and get women out of the work force. They also pushed consumerism for the expansion into the suburbs. We let the marketing tell us this was the traditional way, but it was not. Both men and women worked. Hell, 100 years ago, kids worked in the factories too. I know men are supposed to be protectors and providers but they are whole ass humans. Their emotional needs constantaly go neglected. It is actually heart breaking for me. The pressure is killing men. No one should be made to feel that their only worth is a check. That is why, they think they are more valuable to the family dead, than alive. Hence this video. As I am typing, another video played on my tv and it was a woman with 7 kids and a husband that commited suicide. Then the son did. Common thread? Sole providers to large families. I couldn't imagine having my husband work 80 hours a week to care for our family. I'd rather have zero children and we both work 40 hours a week so we can be together. I feel like these external societal norms don't work anymore and we are killing ourselves to make them work. If you want to be a stay at home mom, then y'all BOTH work 2 jobs for each year you plan to stay home, BEFORE you have kids. Sound like a lot? I know, but that is the level on intentionality you should bring into the decision. You bank all the money you can, so when you are down to a 1 income home, for the next 5 years, there is no pressure. I've heard too many calls where the couple decides, after the baby's born, that the woman will stay home. We all have that leave it to beaver bs in our heads, but we live in 2022. The median home price is now $300000. The average worker can't afford that. Times have changed. I'm not sacrificing my husband's mental health and well-being for the children. We can plan our asses off to set it up correctly, or both carry the burden.

@neisci

Жыл бұрын

I wish I could like your comment twice.

@leahflower9924

Жыл бұрын

I don't disagree but even if he carried the financial burden or had too many obligations I don't believe usually that is at the heart of wanting to end your life just my opinion but I was a psych major, and if anything his mental dilemnas led him to marry someone who couldn't make him happy

"we had both hoped for"? That is a big stressor when you hope for more than you're capable of achieving. People need to recognize their limitations and accept that some visions in our heads are impossible to achieve. Having to provide for 4 kids and a wife is a tough task and changing horses in the middle of the stream can make things really hard.

Whitney, your anger is understandable. Please seek counseling....his pain has NOTHING to do with YOU, personally, plus the KIDS.

She sounds annoyed by the suicide attempt as if she is the main victim. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

@TomikaKelly

3 жыл бұрын

She is the victim. She married a man who presented himself as mentally sane yet wasnt and he chose not to get help. Now the life she built intended for 2 parents is all on her. Shes definitely the victim.

I understand his pain

@bufficliff8978

4 ай бұрын

I'm sorry

I am your sons. I lost my dad to suicide when I was 16. If I could have anything in this world right now is that my dad was able to walk thru the door and be a dad again and be with my mum. My mum is you. She also had 3 teenagers when she lost her husband to suicide. She was angry and mad and upset but she would give her life to have her husband back and she has said this for the last 25 years. Trust me you want your husband back and he will want you as well. As they say anyone who has committed suicide and survived wish the moment they did it they regretted their decision. I hope you both can work on a new marriage that will thrive you and your husband and your boys all deserve it

I'm good, how are you? My husband tried to kill himself.

Notice how she made it all about her in the first minute of her call.

I don’t think this woman has the right perspective. We don’t get angry when our loved ones have an illness. That’s on you.

When she found out he was living a double life. Did anyone else think he cheated or had been cheating on her? Is that what she found out?

@NT-bz5nh

3 жыл бұрын

I got that vibe.

@TheSterlingArcher16

3 жыл бұрын

@@NT-bz5nh I don't have room to judge but I feel he could be lying about his level of success to appease her.

@carylhalfwassen8555

3 жыл бұрын

I thought she meant the darkness he was carrying inside him when to the family and others he was acting in a different manner which did not raise concern about his health.

@b.1162

3 жыл бұрын

Possible. I knew a guy just like this. He was married with four kids and a co-worker girlfriend. Wife finds out. They make plans to separate. Not long after, it suddenly hit him how he had ruined his relationship with his children permanently. Boom, just like that, shot himself in the face with a shotgun at home with the family present.

@bufficliff8978

4 ай бұрын

She meant that she didn't know how depressed he was, but that's because she was disconnected. You can't tell an ambitious, stay-at-home spouse that you're struggling.

My husband did not survife. He hung himself 5 years ago . My kids were 13 and 16 years old. He was depressed a long time before. I do not know what was worse. To live with him. Or the time after his death. Because he did not care for anything, i was alone in my marriage. The man i once loved so much died a long time before.

I can say from experience when you have those thoughts you feel like you’re holding your family back and weighing them down. God and a few choice people are why I figured out those thoughts were wrong.

Dr John: Yeah bla bla bla. I will stop you there. What is your houshold income??😂😂😂😂😂

Poor guy...