The first person to ever tell me "i love you" without me saing it first was my daughter at the age of 7. I was in tears the whole night.

@hith2re

2 ай бұрын

Aww that is really wholesome!

@vaadwilsla858

2 ай бұрын

God bless you.

@AleksandarIvanov69

2 ай бұрын

@@hith2re it is wholesome and horrifying at the same time, because it shows the truth that men's lives are a loveless hell

@paulallen6336

2 ай бұрын

❤

@fratermunky4336

2 ай бұрын

I'm sorry you had to wait that long to hear that😢

About 20 years ago I worked in a locked mental health unit. There was an elderly man who was 99 who was there for suicidal ideation. He told me, " My wife is dead. My children are all dead and my grandchildren are all dead. I do not know anyone." It did not feel like mental illness.

@0neDoomedSpaceMarine

2 ай бұрын

That's an unbearable loss to even imagine, no wonder he felt he had nothing left in life. What's he gonna do at that age, turn over a new leaf?

@mjp152

2 ай бұрын

Jesus Christ, imagine just one day in that man's life. Hope he found peace.

@SpaceElvisInc

2 ай бұрын

Alone without purpose, every man's true fear

@user-ps1ft1hy4j

2 ай бұрын

Terrifically sad.

@stevenbobbybills

2 ай бұрын

Fuck... I can't imagine what happened to get to that point for him. It's terrible enough having a parent outlive their child, but grandchildren, too?

Feeling lonely when you are in the presence of others is profoundly isolating.

@michaelsodde

Ай бұрын

Thank you for mentioning that, that explains how I’ve felt recently.

@eclecticd9953

Ай бұрын

It’s almost as if being alone is a better solution. It worked for me

@GabrielXDrums

25 күн бұрын

That’s how I’ve felt lately in Stockton CA, rural asf alone everyday even tho I’m with grandparents, but no job, no future never wanted this path for me, my friend thankfully took me out with her for comedy night but that’s never happened before it’s a rarity, she has a bf, she’s my best friend, she loves me, it’s still not enough when the days over and I end up back home, alone… I wonder if this world will ever change so my life also, can change…

@Yeast85

24 күн бұрын

Yep

@NickHaney10

23 күн бұрын

@@GabrielXDrums damn brother I feel for you. I moved there last June 6 months in I was ready to end it. A real shithole and an awful place for finding human connection. That type of environment makes everyone callous

being trapped alone in your own mind is the hardest thing having pretty much no one is exhausting

@klickingkayasmr7585

Ай бұрын

🎯🎯

@deploy6507

Ай бұрын

@@klickingkayasmr7585 im here for anyone that needs a chat stay strong guys

@Rinaaaa633

Ай бұрын

Im so sorry 💔 i hope you find the light

@googletropcurieux8670

Ай бұрын

we could be there for each other, that would be great

@ManInBlackGtr

Ай бұрын

Trust me, being trapped with someone makes you long being trapped alone

Yeah, this is real. The feeling of reaching out and having no connections is real. That and the feeling that life isn't worth living. It is getting harder to see an emotionally and financially stable world right now. I relate.

@shadowsonicsilver6

2 ай бұрын

What’s sad is that my family does this to me on a daily basis because I was born a man with autism.

@alien1162

2 ай бұрын

It's really tough I have friends and we meet up once a week for board games but that's all I've got. I consider many people friends but it never feels like anyone truly wants to connect with me and hang out. I even try to set up things we could do but never get much of a response. I don't blame them much most have busy lives and I certainly understand saying no a bunch cuz I have done the same in the past. A GF would be nice but that's not really looking like it's gonna happen any time soon. I'm lucky to have my family but even they don't really want to connect but just to hang out here and there.

@Pivitrix

2 ай бұрын

Never feel more alone than when you finally try to reach out and it fails. You go around thinking there is a thread to hold onto, you reach out only to realize there never was a thread in the first place, so... what now?..

@Fiox789

2 ай бұрын

Same I maybe get once a week to hangout with friends and they have their own things going on. Not their fault or anything. But even trying to make new friends as an adult is extremely difficult and facing the exact same problems maybe see these people once a week and people don't want to engage with anyone that is going through a rough life

@sharknadofartquake2449

2 ай бұрын

@@alien1162 At least you have Sigourney Weaver! :P

When I was at one of my lowest points one time, I called the suicide hotline to try and get some help, and after talking to the lady on the other end for like a minute, I got distracted by a car passing weirdly in front of my house, took maybe 5 seconds to look at it and that’s being generous. When I went to raise my phone back up to my ear I saw that the phone call had ended. It shook me so hard it completely took me out of my suicidal state and I started laughing like an idiot over the fact that I was suicidal, reached out to the suicide hotline for help, didn’t get help and got hung up on. Ironically enough, by not helping me not commit suicide, the suicide hotline helped me not commit suicide.

@priskruger314

2 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear about it but glad you r still here

@OneSillyWanker

2 ай бұрын

Those hotlines are useless.

@brandip77

2 ай бұрын

I have to admit that I giggled at this story. So glad you are here.

@egemenseyhan1344

2 ай бұрын

That was all part of the plan.

@Jdabomb93

2 ай бұрын

Weird how some people aren’t truly committed to suicide, they just need a distraction from it. (Like they never really wanted to do it anyway) While others, no one’s stopping them at all.

“They try to connect with others and they get rejected.” I felt that one deeply.

@KS0102

Ай бұрын

Some people are tired and worried. Try not to take it personally.

@AnDo-ic3ro

Ай бұрын

as a male in my 20s going through a rough time , i had an older girlfriend , she one day asked how was i going , it made me feel human. I am now 55 ( married 2kids) every time i can i ask people how are they going to return the favor in life to everyone Great sex She knew no future but experience and fun to reflect on when you get old Another was 45 bbw great sex for a young guy

@deviousj5868

Ай бұрын

Same

@kolelamont8728

8 күн бұрын

Stop being rejectable then, bro.

@TheRealTopG01

7 күн бұрын

@@kolelamont8728 shut up kiddo

The most affection I've received in the past few months was when I bumped my watch on a plate of metal at work, and 1 of the managers nearby heard it and came rushing over to me asking if i was alright in a soft caring voice it sounded genuine and I just froze because even though It didn't hurt I brushed it off but her voice had so much concern in it, I cried a lot that night and couldn't think of anything else besides thanking her for checking on me

@PaperRaines

Ай бұрын

Damn dude..... that hit

@federal_bureau_of_intelligence

17 күн бұрын

U deserve love

@heehoopeanut420

12 күн бұрын

you gotta be vulnerable to have those moments with people. it's really freaking hard but it has helped me to open up more, most people want to at least lend an ear

I told my friend “Be safe” when he was walking back from where we met up on campus. He’s tall, 6’2” or so, but he stopped and he stared at me for a few moments, and then he came over and hugged me. I was confused, and he explained, “That’s the first time someone’s actually said that to me.” and my heart broke a little, i think. Edited because multiple people have stopped to ask why I mentioned that he was tall. I mentioned he was tall because generally tall people are seen as more physically capable, regardless of whether or not it is actually true. This almost certainly lends itself to the fact that most people didn’t see fit to tell him to be safe because the idea is “he’s tall so he can take care of himself”, same with those who are more muscular, despite the fact that neither of these are going to significantly matter in a fight if the other person is carrying a weapon. So, ffs, stop getting upset that I mentioned he was tall - I mentioned it for a reason.

@corvacopia

2 ай бұрын

Poor guy :(

@tiltshiftvertebra

2 ай бұрын

Honestly, things like this are why I always try and say something nice or encouraging to every single one of my coworkers. I just got my first "I'm proud of you" from my father. I'm 33 and have gone through absolute hell without any notice from him or my mom. I know I would've killed for a crumb of recognition earlier in my life and it would've kept me from a few bad places to get it. So I make sure I tell coworkers when they do something impressive or cool, I take the time to stop and listen. If no one was there for me, I can be there for someone else Humans are a packbonding species. We need to packbond or we die, either by our hand or another. I have just decided that I will be the golden retriever of the pack. No thoughts, head empty, heart full of love.

@blackice7408

2 ай бұрын

​@@tiltshiftvertebrabless u

@tiltshiftvertebra

2 ай бұрын

@@blackice7408 hey man, the blessings are always for all of us. Knowing that sometimes you need to be the person holding the light for another doesnt dim the illumination on your own path, but it does mean you have someone to walk with for a little bit.

@CDHsociety

2 ай бұрын

I don't know if it's because of where I live, but I'm a 6'4 "over 300lb big man, and I've had multiple people tell me to be safe or get home safe throughout my life. I don't know if it's because I'm lucky or what, but it's really sad for him that you were the first person to say that to him.😢 Hopefully, you won't be the last!

Ive felt this struggle. The first time i cried my soul out was when my daughter at 8 years old made me a bag lunch for work with a note that said "I love you daddy have a good day at work" sat in my car at work and balled like a baby because i felt no one cared especially my wife at the time and just took everything I did for granted. When she was older she told me she started making me lunch because she got tired of seeing me barely eat while mommy ordering food for herself and going out with frends to eat before i would get home. Didn't even know this was going on as i was working 2 jobs at the time. Happily divorced now. Daughter is 23 now and i still have that note. Its locked in a safe with my most valuable possessions. That note has gotten me through some rough days through the years.

@shane9723

Ай бұрын

Does she know you feel that way? If not, tell her

@lindasacks8572

Ай бұрын

That's a beautiful story. I'm very touched. Wishing you and your daughter well.

@tiasara5967

Ай бұрын

That’s lovely. I wish you the best.

@Harmonious-jm3sy

Ай бұрын

That was so beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

@dianawitty9628

Ай бұрын

Bless her for seeing all that and knowing what to do and doing it…because she loved you sooooooooo much…

This is spot on. A lot of guys aren't clinically depressed. The fact that things have gotten so bad in terms of society and relationships makes you look at things objectively and just be like "why would I do this for another 50-60 years?". It's only going to get worse.

@aoeu256

Ай бұрын

The singularity is only a stone throws away though. Today, the tools for learning languages especially Chinese have improved by a great amount.

@nomisunrider6472

Ай бұрын

The thing is, I thought the same when I was suicidal. And then it actually did get better. I'm still afraid I'll end up alone and jobless again, but I've grown to accept that life is unpredictable and thus I can't end it all based on a future that might not exist.

@PaperRaines

Ай бұрын

Not gonna lie, I'm not likely to commit suicide, ever, I don't think.... but the notion of it passes through my mind abstractly more nowadays than it used to. Life sucks, a lot, not being negative but it just takes a lot of work to be alive, and the question is "for what? To do, what? Work more??" So I get it, when you're not getting the highest of rewards, like riches or fulfilling relationships, it can look viable to some to just take the exit ramp To me tho, I just know it's my only trip through existence for the rest of eternity, it's too precious to give it up earlier than I inevitably have to one day. Hopefully a long time from now

@God-sz4pf

Ай бұрын

And some of us have literally zero chance in life and it's not even remotely connected to any choices we made. Even as a suicidal person I'm sometimes surprised at the reasons people kill themselves for

@amalksuresh2538

Ай бұрын

I would have dedicated myself to meditation and enlightenment rather than suicide

Sometimes life just becomes unbearable due to loss, finances, and circumstance. My heart and soul goes out to anyone also suffering. It’s not that most of us want to die, it’s just the pain, suffering and stress becomes almost unmanageable and suicide seems like the only solution. It’s like our mind is scrolling through all the solutions and suicide is just the one that is closest to our reach

@ilikepancakes2368

29 күн бұрын

If you’re Hispanic, being sad about anything is not an option lol. Sometimes you just gotta learn how to take the punches.

@CSideBeats

27 күн бұрын

@@ilikepancakes2368 I live in Florida and work with Hispanics. Please don’t make generalizations. Plenty of the people in my work are miserable and depressed but still push onwards because that’s the only option. A lot cope through alcohol or drugs. No one in the human race is exempt from mental health issues. I’m an Irish catholic and most Hispanics I meet are also catholic so if you’re religious you know suicide is considered a grave sin.

You have no idea how much success I've had with "my friend you don't want to die, you just don't want to be in your situation"

@srivastavashivam949

2 ай бұрын

How?

@grtwhtbnr

2 ай бұрын

@@srivastavashivam949 Enough where it's still a "go to" at a point in the conversation when I've reminded them what's important to them. You don't save people, you remind them about what's important

@RusticKey

2 ай бұрын

​@@srivastavashivam949Death is seen as a surefire way to "escape" "life", when in fact a lot of them just want a way out of their situation, i.e. suffering. It doesn't have to be death, but it's the only one that they can see and do, which is being thought of as "better than not doing anything to solve it".

@brazilchem

2 ай бұрын

this. Exactly this.

@grtwhtbnr

2 ай бұрын

@@RusticKey It's important. If you find yourself in a situation where you're talking to someone, don't fake the funk. Just talk, let them vent, be that night time DJ. Calmness is contagious. Also know free will is a thing. People are free to make their choices. But if they haven't done it yet, then there's something holding them back. That to THAT something. Also know that the humans soul is beautiful. But the disease, the pipe, the addiction, the memories. Those are the ugly things, and you gotta figure out which one(s) you are talking to.

My friend died earlier this year from suicide. Part of what fed into those feelings of despair were him feeling suffocated by his grief (his wife and youngest kid were killed in a car accident in 2022 and his other two young kids almost died in that same crash but they're still alive). When you feel stuck and have zero way out now or you think that there isn't going to be a way out later then you see suicide as a valid option. I miss my friend. This year has been hard.

@juancena1259

2 ай бұрын

Damn the dude left his kids like that when they needed their dad the most

@davidpagan8559

2 ай бұрын

@@juancena1259 You're not the first person to say such a thing. One of the first things I asked (the first thing I did ask was "What?" when I was told the news, as unbelievable as it sounded to me at the time) was "Where are the kids?" because I thought he did something drastic like hurt them in the process of his committing suicide. But as far as I know now they've been adopted by members of the family.

@juancena1259

2 ай бұрын

@@davidpagan8559 wow. I hope theyre with people who build them up... they've been through so much

@Beans-do6wc

2 ай бұрын

​@@juancena1259it's selfish, yes, but I understand.

@Beans-do6wc

2 ай бұрын

I feel for you. A friend of mine also committed suicide. I think I would've been around 15 or 16 at the time. It was hard, and I won't lie and say I didn't become a piece of shit after. I had attempted a few months or so later, but I survived. After the fact, I started using, overeating, basically any addiction I could get my hands on. I intentionally screwed with people, even police officers, just to feel anything. The adrenaline of a scuffle. I hope you get the help you need and don't go down a dark path. God bless

In 2018 my wife unexpectedly my wife of 25 years died unexpectly at the age of 49. I am normally a well balanced person with no emotinonal issues. With my wife passing I entered such a state of grief that I could not function. If I had not had both my adult sons living with me and providing me with emotional support I think that I could have gone done that path of no return.

@whitepouch0904

Ай бұрын

I’m sorry to hear that 😢

@geogeek1758

Ай бұрын

Sorry for your loss. Great you have a good relationship with your kids, that shows you must be a good Dad

@TheMotivatedOneN64

2 күн бұрын

Canon Event, Miguel couldn't let the Spiderverse collapse

This guy is spot on. Feeling trapped is the worst thing a man can feel. When you feel that no matter what you do to better yourself you’ll never actually be able to do that, that is the moment of greatest danger to the instinct of self preservation.

hes 100% right Cant afford hobbies Cant afford a house Cant afford a family Cant afford higher education Cant afford a car Stuck at a deadend job Minimal friends if any Its like society still expects men to be completely self-reliant, stoic and have all the answers even though the resources to give men that ability have moved so far out of reach they might as well be non-existent.

@NotaNazgul

2 ай бұрын

Join a sports club. Book club. Or the gym. You can make friends over time and grow. Many hobbies do not cost money. Join a race biking group and ask them if they have a spare bike for you because you are in a rough spot right now. Other men will understand you and help you if you ask. Expect 7 rejections out of 10 attempts. Show up repeatedly at the same place at the same time to give people an opportunity to get used to you. You may not become rich. But you CAN develop a happy and connected life. Love to you, my friend ❤

@silverpairaducks

2 ай бұрын

And get accused of rape...

@ineedhoez

2 ай бұрын

Go join the military. Your housing will be taken care of. Get a stable job. You can get a zero down mortgage. You can get a sense of community from your fellow soldiers.

@Matthew_Wingo

2 ай бұрын

You can afford the device you typed this comment with and had the time to post it, obtain a bible copy and get the answers you are looking for. That ability is within your reach and control. I promise you that you have an abundance. Be a man and most importantly love your GOD and savor.

@tycheck6182

2 ай бұрын

Unlike women, who have a fountain of cash constantly spewing from their wallets 24/7, and who never get lonely.

"They try to connect with others and they get rejected ” this statement hurts my heart soo much😢

@Andreas-gh6is

Ай бұрын

Well, if you feel the hurt so deeply you contemplate suicide, if you genuinely believe this won't ever change, and those things have been that way for a few weeks, that's already enough for the diagnosis of a minor or even major depressive episode. Therapy and medication can help in that case.

@newman2case

Ай бұрын

And rejection leads to loneliness, and loneliness makes you consider suicide quickly.

@bobbyhill4118

Ай бұрын

@@Andreas-gh6is At that point you’re making the world less real to people with medication and whatnot. There needs to be a plan that actually solves the real life issue. It’s like boozing when you’re heartbroken. It’s temporary and it won’t necessarily take away the care for the situation rather the emotion attributed to it

@audiolatte

Ай бұрын

@@bobbyhill4118 Well said, this was exactly my thought as well

@Wonderer888

Ай бұрын

So who’s rejecting these men, other men? I thought men’s friendships were solid. Why aren’t men there for each other?

My heart goes out to all the men facing struggles like these. It's incredibly tough to always stay strong, be reliable and bottling everything up. Keeping this up will break you down. I'm not a man, but I have been in a very similar situation for many years and it was painful. I deeply wish for all of you to find a way out of it before it gets to the point where taking your life sounds like the only option. You deserve love and care❤

@kobalt77

Ай бұрын

kind words , thank you

Realizing how true this is as i am 36. Single for years Living alone for 11 yrs now. I have 1 set of friends i hang out with a handful of times a year. I never had dark thoughts but i do fear being old and being completely alone. Being the old dude that dies alone in my house that no one even knows is gone till the smell alerts someone.

@AL-tm1ve

Ай бұрын

Don’t lose hope, life is constantly shifting and changing, and trust me you’re not alone feeling like this

@NotMik33

Ай бұрын

Are you working out? Helps with depression a lot. Also, amass a bunch of money, or try to get a remote job, then go passport bros.

@lots3799

27 күн бұрын

Thats me. Except I dont have a small group of friends.😅😅

@Daniel-rp7nb

27 күн бұрын

@@NotMik33he’s not wrong

@zulasyrafismail791

12 күн бұрын

@@NotMik33 how to amass a bunch of money????

100% accurate imo. I’m not depressed, just have nothing to live for. Sleep, work, eat, repeat. This isn’t a life, why endure it

@hoobeydoobey1267

2 ай бұрын

Turn to Christ.

@CorbinB-Rax

2 ай бұрын

​@@hoobeydoobey1267 Hell no he's the fool who started all this crap

@hoobeydoobey1267

2 ай бұрын

@@CorbinB-Rax You're Isaiah 5:20, Ecc 10:2. He didn't start this. Man who sinned by turning from God to self did. You sound full of self due to the blame you heap on the innocent.

@CorbinB-Rax

2 ай бұрын

@@hoobeydoobey1267 In short, since you're too low functioning to get this without a hand-hold: I, nor you, nor anyone, CANNOT (rightly) set up a stream of dominoes... with full intended foreknowledge of where they will end, and what chain of events/chaos they will cause, and then ABSOLVE MYSELF of all guilt, by merely saying that YOU, not I, placed that one single guilty domino, in that one place that mattered. No. Full bs. Full stop. Unacceptable on all levels. Indefensible logic. If you can, then you must formulaically PROVE that I am wrong. Use math. P = P

@IRVisionPrints

2 ай бұрын

@@hoobeydoobey1267 but didn’t Christ himself commit suicide by sacrificing himself to the cross? 🧐

I remember hearing my grandmother advise my sisters to always offer kind words to the boys in their lives, emphasizing how seldom they receive appreciation. The more I learn about how society treats men, the more I realize she is correct

@MarkelMathurin

Ай бұрын

Your grandfather was a lucky man

@DaDitka

Ай бұрын

I cannot even tell you how many stories I read online of men who hardly, if ever, get compliments for anything. But when they do, they remember it like it happened 20 minutes ago. A girl complimenting a guy on the shirt he us wearing. A grandmother telling her grandson that his hair looks nice. A coworker saying he appreciates the work he does. A girl saying that he has beautiful eyes. You name it. Something small and insignificant, but it brings people to tears because that never happens to them.

@Lambeh

Ай бұрын

One of my very good friends does theater work as a hobby. He was a director of a play and I brought him flowers on opening night. He said he'd never been given flowers before and it seemed to really light him up. I extend the same comfort and support to the men in my life as the women in my life. I cannot extend compliments to random male strangers, though, because it is not physically safe for me to do so. I wish it was. I wish it was normalized to have men complimenting other men.

@Ad_Inferno

Ай бұрын

I feel like past generations actually generally understood mutual respect very well as between men and women. Men and women treated one another with respect, but if men didn't treat women with respect, they risked getting stabbed with a hatpin. I don't think I'd want to go back to "the good old days" because I like the opportunities I have as a woman in the modern era, but I also - at least in my country - have minimal legal right to defend myself (so to use my previous example, if a man groped me and I stabbed him with my hatpin in response, he might be charged with a minor offense, but I would be charged with assault with a weapon). This lack of nuance about the differences between men and women and different protections that women are more likely to need from the law and society I think has led to women trusting men less because at least where I live, we can't necessarily depend on the law protecting us should that guy end up being a threat. It's made us prickly and less likely to behave kindly towards men, but we're in a vicious cycle now where men are more likely to interpret kindness as an invitation to more because it's so rare. Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. Basically my TL;DR is a lot of these problems could be solved by recognizing inherent differences between what men need and what women need in interpersonal relationships. It feels like where we are right now, even saying there are differences between the two gets decried as sexist.

@DaDitka

Ай бұрын

@Ad_Inferno Your points are fair. I think what we are seeing in our society (at least) is the failure to heed the warning that a philosopher once gave- If you are going to fight monsters, take heed lest you become a monster yourself. In other words, be careful that you don't become the very thing you are trying to fight. I know there is a lot of evil by men towards women. But the women (specifically, thr feminists) decided that the best way to combat this was to become the very thing they decried and condemned. Thar decision has had terrible consequences for all of us.

My mum has told me a few times now that the only reason she is still here is because of my little brother and I. Her life was rough after immigrating to New Zealand from South Africa (while pregnant with me) and her sister didn't want her living with them anymore. She held on because of her children. If there is anyone you know who might be struggling, or even not, reach out to them and remind them they're appreciated and loved. "A man's never alone if he can offer help, always thinking of everyone else before himself." ~ The Growlers

@shaymalchione809

Ай бұрын

I can relate I don’t think I would still be here if it wasn’t for my children.

@UniqueGeekFreak

Ай бұрын

What if you don't believe or "feel" their words when they tell you they love you or other "appreciative" words? I just brush it off when someone says something nice which is mostly never, and I don't think much about it, I unf can't take it to heart l, I feel it is just empty words that don't mean anything, because their behaviour & ill treatment towards me tells otherwise

@onegorgeouschick

Ай бұрын

​@@UniqueGeekFreak I do exactly the same thing. I just don't believe anyone can love me.

@DeadCat-42

26 күн бұрын

I'm only here because I won't hurt my mom . She asked why I don't have a GF, she wants grandchildren. I wanted children, I gave up even trying to get a date.. Other than that my life looks put together. I have a nice house a good job good friends etc. I'm just lonely and see no future.

@7_77_.

23 күн бұрын

@@DeadCat-42 Then the thing you need is self improvement, communication skill and you're all set.

I'm gay, so I don't struggle with this as much, but I always try to be the one to compliment and try to connect with other guys. Sometimes people think it's flirting because I'm gay (which it's not, I have a boyfriend), but I don't care, clearly it's needed. My bf, who's bisexual and passes as straight, cried and told me i was the best thing that happened to him after just telling him his eyes were pretty. I can't imagine how dire it must feel to be so devoid of connection that you'll cry at that. It sounds very self-important but from what I've seen, me telling another dude "hey you look good today" or "thanks for doing this for me" or "wow you're very smart" could be the thing that stops someone from ending their life.

I felt that. I called 911 before my attempt and they hung up on me. When you reach out and it goes south when you need help you wont ask again.

@joev3783

2 ай бұрын

As someone with similar struggles, I personally want to fight that operator on your behalf. For what it's worth, thanks for not going through with it.

@Kingbimmy

2 ай бұрын

I just cannot fathom what the hell was going through their mind when they hung up on you! Good grief! 😳 Honestly I hope they got fired, especially if that’s a common occurrence for them

@farfromirrational948

2 ай бұрын

They obviously should not have done that, but now that it's happened what can we do. I invite you to forgive that individual in your heart. That's the only way to forgive yourself in turn. It's easy to look at people's roles or job titles and expect certain behavior from them, but at the end of the day they are just people. Police officers are poorly trained, and require very little screening for morality or common sense before they are hired. Once they are in, they are protected by their peers. It's no excuse, but at least we can start to empathize with how an individual like that can come into existence. It takes a certain kind of personality to desire positions of power, and here's a hint.....they often don't possess the most intellect. Intelligent people tend to doubt themselves and prefer equality over hierarchy. From someone who once hung himself, hang in there......poor choice of words😂. I realized that sewerslide was my coping mechanism for stress and anxiety. It was a scapegoat to not feel my emotions. Anytime things got to be "too much" for me, I could say "oh I'll just end it" sigh of relief. Ending it is not easy....hell I wonder how possible it even is sometimes. It certainly takes something I realized I don't have. And once I learned that, I had to be honest with myself about how I hadn't been living my life, but just scraping by waiting for it all to come crashing down on me. I had to recognize that I had given up on myself and that I was ashamed for it all. I had to forgive myself, much like that officer who hung up on you. It's not only your fault, but taking responsibility for your part in it is the first step, acknowledging you did the best you could at the time is the second, and choosing to take another step is the third. Life is way more enjoyable and COHESIVE when "ending it" is no longer an option on your mind. Do yourself a favor and stop wasting time and energy on the thought. You've got plenty to offer the world, and you will continue to grow and become better if you let yourself. If you need a change of scenery and a new life, look for work trade opportunities somewhere far from what you know. Do new things. Especially if 😵 is the alternative....why not throw caution to the wind and change it up. Goodluck. Though all you really need is a commitment to growth, and a little hope.

@KingYakthekingofyaks

2 ай бұрын

What would you say stopped you from going through with it and what would you say is a good reason to keep on living, for others who are reading this and might be in a similar situation as you were?

@totallynotdelinquent5933

2 ай бұрын

Society has told men that their problems don't matter, and they're actually at fault for society's problems. It's why everything is starting to collapse, and why suicides in men are so high.

I’ve seen some people somehow misinterpret entirely Dr. K’s point and dunked on him for “glorifying/justifying suicide”, when it isn’t the case. What he said is ABSOLUTELY correct. I’ve gone through depressive episodes, mild ones thankfully, but never have I been diagnosed with a mental illness, my brain was never truly malfunctioning. The causes were external, rather than internal. We need to make this clear for everyone.

@rw5622

2 ай бұрын

That's an amazing observation. I think doctors often try to dig too deep in the mind and sometimes miss the obvious answer that changing your external environment is sometimes enough to pull someone out of that doomer mindset and begin to improve their lives

@sinner2133

2 ай бұрын

@@rw5622 thank you. I wouldn’t call it amazing, just common sense. Of course, there are some men whose problems derive from internal sources (I.E: mental illnesses), but a lot of suicidal and depressed men feel what they feel because their life sucks in their eyes. Whether it’s because they don’t have a girlfriend, got fired from their job, don’t have purpose in life etcetera, they feel like life genuinely isn’t worth it. Of course, the same thing applies to some women too, but I believe it’s way more common in men. Thankfully, the therapists who have worked on me throughout the years knew the reasons for my emotional struggles were mostly external, so they didn’t give me any unnecessary medication. Unfortunately, some therapists and “professionals” don’t care about making exceptions. They just prescribe garbage to anyone hoping it’ll fix the problem.

@MillillioN

2 ай бұрын

Dr K is pointing out the elephant in the room so that work can be done to solve the problem. People that think he's trying to advocate for suicide need to see a psychiatrist.

@somebodyoncetoldme2664

2 ай бұрын

His argument is the absolute most empathetic you can get. To actually feel what another person feels. Make them feel like they've finally been seen outside all the bullshit people spew. If anything this would help them. This is true empathy.

@somebodyoncetoldme2664

2 ай бұрын

​@@MillillioNthey are only saying that because they think one dimensionally. They want to have a emotionally charged responce of cuddling suicidal men thinking they are helping when realistically they are only doing to because it benefits them and they feel better knowing others agree with them. They don't care about actually solving the issue.

He's absolutely right. It's simply loss of purpose and loss of hope, combined with loss of outlet. That combination is deadly for men.🥺

Im a 35 year old single man, lives alone, no girlfriend, and most friends are in loving relationships. I feel lonely and isolated alot. My nephews birthday was just the other day and I bought him a marvel set of character toys as a present, my stepfather video called me to show me him opening my present i got him, i then asked my nephew who his favourite superhero is and his reply was "umm you". After i hung up i had to fight tears at work. Stuck with me all day.

@tramsramsey

4 күн бұрын

You're an awesome uncle. Keep being genuine to people around you and good things will come to you, I promise :)

"They try to connect with others and get rejected". Those words were really piercing, because that is the truth 😔 Edit: Thanks for all the upvote (I didn't expect such a response). Just wanted to add that I am not in such a situation at all, but I was there and can still remember the pain of being in such a situation. And I am also feeling sorry for those who are in such a situation at the moment. This world can be such a dark place, please threat other people with kindness and understanding 🙏

@wesleyduckett1982

2 ай бұрын

Its difficult to genuinely connect with anyone in this world right now

@suspiciouswatermelon7639

Ай бұрын

Maybe you're not worth connecting with?

@BlanBonco

Ай бұрын

Connections used to be much easier pre internet mostly because you were bored. Yes now that I'm getting older i can sit and watch millions of KZread channels not 5 network 😊 do i keep up with family and friends ...... they are boring !!!!

@BrutusAlbion

Ай бұрын

@@suspiciouswatermelon7639 toxic personality detected (you)

@grease7552

Ай бұрын

@@suspiciouswatermelon7639be glad you don’t understand what we’re talking about, I don’t wish it on anyone.

My friend is a sociologist and tracked this in men over 50 who have retired. The level of suicidality is very high, as the men saw their jobs and careers as their role in society and once that ended, they felt like they had no role to play.

@birdrat2656

2 ай бұрын

No offense but that's because it's the only role society values from men and it's not even like it's an easy task to succeed at. Constant sacrifices, constantly ignoring your own desires and being exploited for what? We all get thrown away eventually.

@derekrushe

2 ай бұрын

@@birdrat2656 I think you'll find it's the men who absolutely love their jobs that this happens to. People who hate what they do can't wait to get away.

@malidjibril3375

2 ай бұрын

I agree, in the US we're a ​commodity (young) but end up invisible/or burden (old). @@birdrat2656

@tupums

2 ай бұрын

@@derekrushe And they hate their jobs in like 99.9% of cases. Like who loves their job really? If they were paid money regardless, if they go to work or wont go - how many of such men will actually show up to work despite receiving salary whether the work or not? I think like almost everyone would choose not to. So they actually don`t like their jobs and would use their time elsewhere, if money was not an issue.

@derekrushe

2 ай бұрын

@tupums I knpw plenty of people who absolutely love their jobs. Me, for one, I'm a sound engineer, love it

I work with a guy in his early 40s. He’s got two full time jobs. Gets up in the early morning goes to his first one, arrives at the place I work around 2 and works until midnight, he has a half hour drive home afterwards as well. Man does 80 hours a week. Just a microcosm of the situation our working class people face. There’s a reason people feel out of options. Wishin the best for everyone out there 🙏

In life, we need hope. The moment we lose that, then it’s the end.

My daughters are keeping me here..Have no mental issues at all..This world despresses tf out of me.Being a man is rough..I almost cane close to ending it all and out of nowhere my daughters called me to tell me they Love me out of the blue..I was so hurt i was going to leave them alone..I made a vow to never think that again..

@jeremiaha5167

Ай бұрын

I have no children myself, but my older brother does. He told me that if it wasn't for the kids, he'd end it many times. Perhaps try to find meaning and beauty in sticking around for your kids Thank You for sharing

@dadbod591

Ай бұрын

yep. i have suicidal thoughts all the time. but i know i will never leave my daughter (and soon to be 2nd daughter) without a dad. i will go through literal hell if i have to to make sure i'm there for them when they need me

@Mainsterr

Ай бұрын

Stay strong brother ❤️

@doogleticker5183

Ай бұрын

That's about it. My kids...but they are all grown up, so now I'm alone. Still, I'll hang on in case I'm ever needed.

@Janealtalt

Ай бұрын

You’re a good dad for that… mine did not stick around for my sisters and I. His depression pulled him farther and farther from us to the point that we had little connection with him, and I think we’ve all been left wondering why we weren’t enough to show interest in or stick around for. Hang in there for your girls ❤

As a 27 year old man I feel like the only reason why I'm still alive is because my mom is alive and she is 67 if she passes I literally have no one to confide in or even to speak to so I don't know how I'm going to operate after the inevitable happens because I already know I'm going to be so lost

@dumbcat

2 ай бұрын

there are a lot of good people on the internet you can talk to, and some eventually become real life friends. try getting out and joining a gym or a church. some activity where you show up around the same, and run into the same people and make friends.

@nassibaliouane4654

2 ай бұрын

Keep it up brothers. You're not alone, find ressources and talk. Hopefully you find a better place.

@fazgal07

2 ай бұрын

It would be tough, but hang in there. Life will become easier and you’ll find your place/happiness in some form.

@Mikegallo29

2 ай бұрын

Believe it or not, but life is precious. There are good people out there in the world. Don't give up on yourself. You can use the internet to meet people and do group meet ups but plz don't let the internet rule you. It is always good to have real interaction with people in person. You have nothing to lose telling someone good morning, how you doing? You look nice etc. Take it easy. Trust me, you will see the good in some people over time. Maybe your time isn't now but your time will come (good things will happen). You have to put effort and look for it though. It's not gonna fall from the sky. Best of luck. U got this

@_Y.Not_

2 ай бұрын

but why is that? why are you unable to form connections with others? there are reasons and you probably know them, can you not work on that?

This guy is absolutely telling the truth. I myself am living the life which is not worth living but i still am keeping up. There is nothing that makes me feel like life is worth it but i am still here. Maybe one day i will quit when it becomes a bit of more hell.

@utkarshsoni6269

Ай бұрын

In the same boat brother, nothing like not hating yourself but still wanting to die. If we do decide to quit I’ll buy u a drink on the other side if it’s real lol

My brother died by suicide when I was 15. He was 22. It was the most shocking and depressing thing my family has ever gone through. Sometimes I wonder what he would be like today. Would he be married? Have children? I wish he had reached out to someone. I wish he wasn't so sad and hopeless to have decided death was the best solution. We miss him.

Man, looking through the comments really shows me how much pain actually is in this world. To all the people that are fighting, I hope it gets better for you!

@mauriciofreitas3384

2 ай бұрын

This world is in the early stages of a corporate dystopia and there's not much even worth living for

@WorldKeepsSpinnin

2 ай бұрын

@@mauriciofreitas3384because the world has killed the dream. Everyone is guilty of this. “You will never make it”, “your not that guy”, “why dont you just work a normal job”, “what your doing will never work out” etc. people around you, and the world itself kills dreams. But what people don’t understand is your dreams ARE your life. If you have no dreams, you are effectively dead. Theres many things we need to bring back, but if i was to name the most important, its the dream. Chase your dreams, do it smartly, and live your life. Through doing this, you will grow so much as a person. And if enough people do it, the “other things that we need to bring back” will naturally come back.

@jinenjuce

2 ай бұрын

I'm tired of fighting.

@WorldKeepsSpinnin

2 ай бұрын

@@mauriciofreitas3384 lol yt deleted my comment. Its so sad how right you are. Look at how youtube already is. All i talked about is the “death of the dream” and they delete what i say. In short i said, chase your dreams, your dreams are your life.

@adanacosta4168

2 ай бұрын

​@@jinenjuce dude, I know I'm a rando in the internet, but I hope You The best... We are stronger than we think, everything will be better, send u a hug.

This is why it's SO important for men to build emotional connections and a community outside of their significant other. I did this and think it's what saved me from suicide.

@LilT2o00

2 ай бұрын

That's the opposite for me those connections are why I don't do it I see that as a crutch. I basically gotta live a life I hate just not to upset others with the news. Don't want to be here and it's like im.not even living for myself but instead not to traumatize others

@HunsterMonter

Ай бұрын

​@@LilT2o00 This is an extremely unhealthy and unhelpful mindset

@LilT2o00

Ай бұрын

@HunsterMonter I can't afford to care about health. I'm poor and uninsured lol

@kuritheking

Ай бұрын

@@HunsterMonteryour comment was unhelpful and lacked depth. It has a potential to harm their mindset further. Consider saving advice to professionals

@kaitlynmorgan4613

Ай бұрын

@@HunsterMonter thats how depression works, man. i wouldnt off myself moreso for my familys sake. fear and friends too, but my mind tells me they all hate me, theyd be better without me, and that ill never have a connection with someone like i did with my ex best friend. and that connection was all i needed (besides my mom) back then and even now. cause without them, its been even more lonely your comment could make people feel worse btw. you should be careful when talking to people :/

My half brother Brian killed himself at age 37. He was single, on the autism spectrum, had not much of a social network or friends. Was an engineer, Patriot, very smart, independent thinker, loved God. I tried to help but to no avail. He was kind of a loner. Good worker but also burdened with taking care of his father who was very cantankerous, mean, relied a lot on Brian, so I think Brian felt overwhelmed. God rest my brother's soul in Heaven with you. He loved doing the right thing in life. He was in a crisis. I believe with all my heart he was under very heavy spiritual warfare by evil demonic spirits.

@whitepouch0904

Ай бұрын

I’m sorry it’s sad to hear that 😢

@kobalt77

Ай бұрын

Feeling overwhelmed is one of the most dangerous feeling ever. At best it can paralyse life, at worst it can seem there is no way out.

@Juustemarezien

Ай бұрын

sorry for your loss man

@sephyowns

24 күн бұрын

i am very sorry for your loss, and i know this isn't the right thing to say to you but im just going to go with my gut. you shouldn't blame "spiritual warfare" on your half-brother's death. mental illness is a real thing and its not right to demean his mental issues to something like "being controlled by demons". for all you know, religious trauma could've been a main factor in pushing him to the state of mind he was in

@magnellah

16 күн бұрын

Autistic adults are 9 times more likely to un-live themselves than the rest of the population. Achievement is important, but the lack of social connection and feeling alien/weird/awkward leaves you feeling isolated in the worst possible way- it seems almost impossible that somehow developing the skills to interact with NT’s could ever occur. It makes sense why that statistic is so high, and it’s so deeply sad. I’m so sorry for your loss- a fellow autist.

Yess 💯 And it’s not only for men. And don’t misunderstand the word connect. You can have a person you love and they love you back but they don’t feel like you, they don’t understand your emotions. So you’re connected but not connected. Like in those cartoons where there are 1000 people around 1 person but the person is still alone in their own circle. It’s worse on the rainy days.

@carltoncanty8048

19 күн бұрын

It's not only men but the problem is men don't have the space to express or feel this. Often we get deflated with "it's not just you". Saying that here isn't helpful.

@fizzinsoda

11 күн бұрын

bro said "Minus the fact that it's twice as likely to happen to a man"

I've known this fact about myself for a long time. This is the very first time I've heard someone else actually say it. I'm not suicidal, I'm just in a place where I don't belong and I'd rather leave now than stick around for another few decades of misery.

@fpfilms6609

2 ай бұрын

Don't give up man, there's certainly something out there to cheer you up, make it your life's mission to find it, that way you have something to wake up for everyday and when you find it that would become your reason to live. I hope you understand what I am saying and I won't mind if you want to talk to me about anything.

@burnininhell

2 ай бұрын

@fpfilms6609 My friend, my life has led me to one, singular desire. I want to be a dad. Mine was an abusive asshole, so my ultimate goal in life is to prove to myself and everyone else that I can be a better father and partner than he ever was. The problem is that it takes two people to make that happen and women just don't want me. No hits on dating apps. No hits online. Nothing IRL. I'm not a bad looker. I exercise. I have a stable income. But I'm completely alone.

@kasia6483

2 ай бұрын

Please don't give up or give in. That's exactly what the Devil in hell wants you to do. Never give up.

@corn1002

2 ай бұрын

​@@burnininhellPlease become a good father for your children but not for your abusive father. You shouldn't have children to prove yourself, but to educate them to become good people for society. Anyway, you're already a good person and much better than your father.

@emac543

2 ай бұрын

Please read George Ritchie's book "Return From Tomorrow." It's an absolute page turner and you will see that it is no solution, not because of what you think but because you'll be stepping into serious consequences that you can't escape. He saw what happened to people who committed suicide,. You'll also see what living is for if you read that book by George Ritchie, a WWII vet.

People who criticized him for this statement are idiots. We need to stop assuming everyone who turns to suicide “had” to have a mental illness. There are people who are paraplegic who would rather have euthanasia than keep living. Yet, the US system claims they have to be mentally ill if that is the case. We’ll never arrive at the truth if we refuse to admit we are living a lie.

@Beans-do6wc

2 ай бұрын

I definitely agree with you. The issue is that we were trained to believe that everything is a "mental illness" or disorder and that's what makes us think this way. It's just an assumption,

@user-cw3wm9lx7w

2 ай бұрын

yep, we basically believe life needs to be preserved at all cost.

@arohanui922

2 ай бұрын

You are spreading propaganda and using a paraplegic as an example? Canada is literally trying to convince their citizens to use assisted suicide using these same tactics. What you fail to assess is that many feel let down by the system denying money to help them live a more productive and better life. Drug addicts no rehab assisted suicide. Children who want to die (under special circumstances of course) were also considered. This is a sickening argument you are spreading.

@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

2 ай бұрын

Ok but what do you think mental illness is? For anyone that becomes physically incapable of doing the things they love, like in the case of becoming paraplegic, they have experienced a profound loss. Same with anyone grieving over the loss of a loved one. Same with anyone depressed over losing a job or their home. Same with anyone depressed and isolated missing a community to be apart of. Same with anyone depressed because of any trauma or hardship. Do you think mental illness, or depression in particular has no cause? Like it just comes out of nothing, instead of being the direct result of missing something or someone very important to our emotional well-being?

@user-cw3wm9lx7w

2 ай бұрын

@@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay I mean a lot of people seem to. Because it allows them to escape blame for societal ills.

this is so true and I'm glad a mental health worker had the balls to say it. people love to over pathologize mental suffering and anguish when the root of alot of people's pain is external or systemic factors. not saying mental illness can't also just be internal, but it's important to look at the other side of the coin too

I read in a manga (I don't remember the name) a phrase that really made me feel depressed, it was "Happy Birthday, Thank you for being born." Something so simple to say. Remember to say it to people you really care about.

@Insert_Bland_Name_Here

13 күн бұрын

Reminds me of that incredibly short letter from Violet Evergarden episode 2: "Dear Brother, I'm happy that you're alive."

We had an international student in our student house in college and he, for whatever reason, couldn’t make deep connections with anyone. He was friendly, easy to talk to and had good hygiene. He even bought a dvd for us to watch together but I was too busy with life to sit down and watch a movie. One day we were awake at the same time and he offered to make me breakfast. I realised he needed to make me breakfast more then I needed to eat breakfast. Again, we couldn’t connect on a deeper level but we both tried to talk about more than just the weather. His brother showed up a couple of weeks later and took him home for good because he had said some concerning things over the phone and his family wanted to keep him safe. After he left I found out that he had friend to connect with everyone of the 25 of us in the student building before he left. It made ever one of us reflect on how we treat others. He has a wife and kids now over in his homeland. He looks happy.

@saycap

Ай бұрын

I find people are often subconsciously hypocritical. It makes me want to work on myself, but also be selective about who I keep in my circle. It’s a disappointing realization to make though. I think most people forget the golden rule after the age of 10.

@silverpenn3809

Ай бұрын

Yeah, you didn't want to connect with him. I bet he was from Asia.

@Jcremo

Ай бұрын

@@silverpenn3809 he wasn’t Asian. He was European.

@silverpenn3809

Ай бұрын

@@Jcremo even worse 🥶

@doroparker1702

Ай бұрын

At this age it is really difficult to make friends in another country. As you said, it was not his fault and he tried to make contact to you two times. This guy was good friend material but nobody of 25 people was interested. I bet this happens a lot to American college students, feeling sad and lonely away from home. Kitchen usually is a hotspot for contacts and making friends. This guy would have had a great time with a mix of some people from all over the world. My experience in California was groups of Europeans, groups of Asians, groups of Mexicans, groups of Persians. Those groups did talk to each other and they did go out and have excursions and trips together. Californians stayed together and were only interested in themselves. Of course Californian guys were interested in flings with the girls from abroad but could not even keep up a conversation. So good his brother came and took him back to Europe.

My landlord just killed himself, he was 80 and just in a lot of pain. No surgery or pill was gonna save him and he couldn’t do the things that made him happy anymore so he made what to him was a rational decision. RIP Bill

@peterpark5630

2 ай бұрын

u should have paid rent on time. it’s a lot of stress having bad tenant

@HistoryOfEnergy

2 ай бұрын

@@peterpark5630 Ching Ching Lawng your father regrets you

@zanityplays

2 ай бұрын

i guess someone never tipped their landlord

@HistoryOfEnergy

2 ай бұрын

@@zanityplays you will fail as a coder and are a mid gamer

@peterpark5630

2 ай бұрын

@@HistoryOfEnergy I got some beans for you. need some?

For yhe men who are so selfless that they stay only to protect us girls and women...THANK YOU. The men in my life are everything to me, my wonderful partner, my hero Dad and beautiful brother and brother in law. I love these men so very dearly. I know that they have all had terribly hard times in their lives, but thank God, they all made it to the other side. Us women need to keep letting our men knos how much we respect and love them, that life without them is unthinkable

@btf_flotsam478

Ай бұрын

Let men reach out to you more often; make it OK for a male acquaintance to just talk to you without feeling creeped out by it.

@aena5995

Ай бұрын

😢most men seem predatory according to the fact that most are abusive to wife financial emotional physically doesn't feel worth it to interact with them but I need a way to immigrate

Ah. To have it said so clinically and to know it so well is such a strange feeling. The only reason I think I’m anywhere near ‘stable’ is because I still have some folks batting for me. Had I not had my mother, my Nana (god rest her), my papaw, my grandparents, and (despite our many squabbles) my Dad, I’d have probably hung up the hat by now. Tell the people close to you how much they matter. It is better for them to know, than to not know or to not feel that connection. For the real pain is to reach out and feel nothing; I should know I suffered peer isolation for about a decade. College basically crippled my spiral because I met some good folks who helped me put myself back together outside the family circle. Without my family I’d be a wreck.

It’s that “aight ima head out” mentality

@BladeNyle

2 ай бұрын

For real

@slipknotfan2358

2 ай бұрын

Yup… almost as if they were waiting for that moment the whole time you were hanging out 😕

@Ab3ndcgi

2 ай бұрын

That's culture. They've been studying this for decades in Japan now. Just a reminder that you were not born into this world with a set of expectations and life goals from which your sense of self-worth needs to derive from. But we all have a rol in constructing and passing on culture nonetheless. That's why I'd say it's important to be very self-aware of one's own contributions in setting up those expectations for ourselves and others; or rather build a culture of self- acceptanc and resilience.

@user-sq9pu8jl5f

2 ай бұрын

Weak 😂

@CorbinB-Rax

2 ай бұрын

"Unneeded here."

I have a friend that committed suicide from this exact scenario. Back in 2017, we were both in engineering school and 5 major things happened in his life that came in way too fast. 1st thing happened was that his girlfriend got pregnant and his daughter was born, 2nd was that his family’s childhood home burned down on thanksgiving the year prior and he lost his truck in the fire. 3rd was that he was failing engineering school and was just notified of academic probation for the following semester. The 4th thing was that his uncle that he was closest to died from a motorcycle accident 3 months prior to the thanksgiving fire. The final straw was when he found out his girlfriend was cheating on him even after his daughter was born. He literally had nowhere else to go. The worst part of it all was that he showed absolutely no signs of depression. There was none of his many friends that he could vent to nor could he relate his struggles to. He felt alone and out of options. Tbh it sounded like a desperate measure.

@obi-wankenobi1750

2 ай бұрын

Engineering school is unbelievably rough. I’m going through it right now and I couldn’t imagine going through all those other things as well. Im really sorry that happened to you and hope you’ve been able to find peace.

@justinegerhazi6829

2 ай бұрын

Yeah fr I’m doing a little engineering school and my car got crashed into and it’s just felt like there’s no way out. Usually i take severe measures to deal with suicidal thoughts because I know how dangerous they are. Obviously I haven’t considered them but I’ve seen how my perspective has changed on them as I wish more and more for this time to end. Im a very closed off person if If not for my friends and faith i’d probably be dead.

@tayzk5929

2 ай бұрын

Yes for many/most men, life is more negative than positive. A lot due to the systems we have created. Suicide and not having children become the rational choice.

@xvk2r8t0vxkne7

2 ай бұрын

Damn man. As a software engineering student I can relate. Even better, I’m a father of 3 at a really early age, had academic probation and lost my truck back in my first year. It was pretty dangerous too because I’m an avid 2A enthusiast. But I was really fortunate and I guess I had to forcefully adapt in the mindset of bettering myself and my family’s life. My (now) wife has always been faithful as long as we communicate, my kids were my biggest leverage of pushing forward in life so they can have a better life than mines, and my university was able to work with me in dealing with my probation temporarily. It’s never easy to deal with thoughts of emptiness and overwhelming emotions. One thing out of your friend’s story is that I hope the daughter would be well despite her loss. Stay strong brother.

@KiNGKuNTa986

2 ай бұрын

Meaning in life can be found. I wish he had considered various perspectives on life , death , grief , human behaviour, purpose of life etc.. After years of reading and soul searching , greatest lesson I’ve gathered is to just “be“ existence without attachment is the greatest joy other things are just bonuses if good , if not then why bother ?

Some truth to that. Sometimes its the external forces like lack of money, lack of social connections and a general sense of hopelessness via those external forces that most definitly made me think a lot of times to end it. I've lost people in my enviroment to suicide because they seemed hopeless in their life. Both men and women. Its awfully understandable when I find myself in a similar position.

Preach. Too many folks believe in the foolish conclusion that suicide is weakness. It may be sometimes, but it is also just a different type of strength. Holding on requires one type of strength, but letting go requires the strength to face the unknown.

I would add that situational depression is real and can be just as devastating as clinical depression.

@bigdadybojangls9219

2 ай бұрын

That’s what bi polar essentially is. Typically with no polar you go through depressive and manic episodes, but some people might experience depressive episodes significantly more than the other.

@StKuchen

2 ай бұрын

sure, but what's to change is not the situational depression but the causes for it, which are the ones mentioned in the video.

@Nak_Muay_Farang11

2 ай бұрын

@StKuchen sometimes easier said than done, unfortunately

@antecboy

2 ай бұрын

Living up north in scandinavia I can also attest to seasonal depression that the long and dark winter might cause. Especially if you don't supplement your vitamin D, as you can't get enough sunlight! My mental health and energy improved so much after a strong starting dose of vitamin D

@CorbinB-Rax

2 ай бұрын

​​​@@StKuchen Effectively, if your Christian family, who follows the Bible verbatim, disowns you, because xyz interpretation that 45,000 denominations can't agree on, and, essentially, they, being host to this "jesus", are only doing what he said. Dividing themselves from you. Jesus is pure evil.

Well I can 100 percent understand that constant feeling of being rejected when trying to connect with other humans.

@themis828

2 ай бұрын

How well do you know yourself. Your fears. Your desires Your moments of shame. Your weaknesses. Your strengths Your talents Your skills Your passions? Know yourself and connections will find you. Not knowing yourself is where you will find nothing but emptiness. Trying to get someone else to fill your cup, will leave you lost and confused. It starts with the seeker (you). When you are ready to accept what is, what you need, will find its way to you OR you will see it clearer than you've ever seen anything before.

@Fiox789

2 ай бұрын

​@@themis828I've done this over the last 10 years and still nothing. What am I doing wrong?

@mercury3352

2 ай бұрын

@@Fiox789how often do you go out to events pertaining to your hobbies? I’ve found that women often have more 3rd spaces where they interact with the same people consistently in a place that isn’t work, which helps break down the initial fear barrier. Men seem to go to less third spaces and don’t often go out to places that interest them.

@chalk1415

2 ай бұрын

It's sad because if I didn't have the friends I have, I'd probably not be here because of this. A lot of men aren't that fortunate, God rest their souls.

@slaphappy-qb3jb

2 ай бұрын

its giving incel

Whoa. That hit home and I've been there, myself. I wasn't 'mentally ill', my life just totally sucked at the time, I was completely alone, and no one cared about me.

I was told i had chronic depression in high school in the 90' was heavily medicated on paxil & zoloft in a mental ward as a teen & adult.. 30+yrs later i still have these thoughts daily, even after or during having a good time.. only thing stopping acting on it, is knowing the sadness & pain it would bring to my family (and the horrific prospect of an eternal after life.) I've prayed trying to manifest a freak fatal accident daily of over a decade now . Every day i look at the direction the world is heading & i pray harder.

@israelthegael2342

Ай бұрын

I'm the same as you brother long years of mental illness and stays in the psyche ward. The pain I would cause those that do care about me if I did it keeps me here. Also the same about the direction the world is going is constantly on my mind and prayer and studying scripture is the only thing keeps me feel theirs something to wait around for. I've even lost of cool to God so many times and shouted at him. It gives me comfort that what we are seeing is what the Bible prophesied so it'll all be made right soon enough. Keep the faith brother

I would say the strongest tie is loneliness. Divorce, break ups, social outcasts, is pretty much the only reason men ever think about it. I don’t think it’s a selfish lonliness either, it’s knowing you have no one to show love to and care for as well as not feeling it yourself

@themanthatsavedjosukehigas6714

2 ай бұрын

Damn felt that

@LouZ2

2 ай бұрын

Right on the dot, hardest struggle for men right here

@sebastienbolduc5654

2 ай бұрын

Absolutely on the mark!

@fedweezy4976

2 ай бұрын

I think it's interesting that two of the three examples of loneliness you name have to do with romantic loneliness. I think friends are a big part of this equation as well. How many friends do you have that you think you could genuinely open up to without fear of mockery? How many friends do you love, and who love you? We can't feel entitled to romantic love, no one can, but friendships are something we can create much more consistently.

@Dice-Z

2 ай бұрын

loneliness and hopelessness are a dangerous mix.

The scary thing about it is that I'm constantly trying to connect to people and groups and I feel I don't belong in any of them.

@unstableanimates8070

2 ай бұрын

Hey man we are here for you. Never give up and I know u will make it through whatever life is throwing ur way

@davejacob5208

2 ай бұрын

first of all, i definitely feel that. my two cents, after thinking about it: maybe try to organize some activity to gather people that are interested in it, they will somewhat depend on you as the organizer, at least in the beginning. and this can be a basis for genuine focus on you (as in, they are interested in you, not just because you organize one of their hobbies or something like that) i am only somewhat speaking from experience, but either way this will lead to you getting connections to people with the same interest in that same activity, which is definitely a good start to get closer connections.

@_Blank___Space_

2 ай бұрын

I feel you. I struggle with maintaining good friendships cuz Im often too tired and socially inept to reach out to others. My only suggestion is to cut yourself some slack. Not everyone is gonna like you and that's ok, but the people who DO like you, you gotta cherish and let them know they're important to you.

@ish8322

2 ай бұрын

@@_Blank___Space_I’m dealing with the exact same thing. I constantly feel bad about myself cause I’m such a terrible friend. Though At the same time nobody gives any effort on the other end to reach out. I have this conception that people think I’m selfish and inconsiderate but deep down I’m just dying inside.

@ninam8089

2 ай бұрын

@@ish8322 you might not be most people’s cup of tea but you are to some. People like us need to make extra effort to maintain those genuine friendships. That’s the reality

As a woman i also go the same path.its very painful helplessness.

I feel this. As someone who attempted suicide and feels like there is no purpose to life. I'm not even that old. I'm 34 now, did it when I was 19 halfway to 20. I'm here but it doesn't feel great.

A starving man will survive the search for food through honor and duty, while a well-fed man, but starved of honor and duty, will eat himself in the search of both.

@Plutonianpodcast

2 ай бұрын

Wise words

@andydufresnejr

Ай бұрын

yo this is nice. where is this from? original? good writing

@okiamherenow6372

Ай бұрын

@@andydufresnejr unfortunately through experience man, seen a lot of broken man too closely

@andydufresnejr

Ай бұрын

@@okiamherenow6372 I'm not sure how you intended it to read but I interpreted it as if a man has purpose in life, then he will do just fine, but a man that cant find purpose will turn to his demons. which in this sense, and forgive me if you disagree, is that also if you cant find purpose in life then it is still your own doing. in my opinion, it is our own responsibility to make our lives fulfilling and add value to the world regardless of life circumstances. if we can't...what good are we to humanity and pushing it forward?

Hopelessness. Feeling like you are out of options. Knowing that tomorrow will be the same as today, or worse. Knowing that your best days are behind you. These are the thoughts of a man on the edge.

@PlateletRichGel

2 ай бұрын

Cash out and go to Thailand, lots of girls want to spend time with you cheap.

@MG-hi9sh

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, I'm a 26 year old man, and I'm starting to feel somewhat like that, something similar to that. It's not so much hopelessness, it's more apathy, fatigue and a lot of physical pain that makes my life quite arduous. There's hope in my life, it's more that I'm just fed up of life itself and I feel like I've lived for too long. I don't want to become middle aged, and I don't want to get old. I just don't see the point in carrying on, and I'm not even sure I actually want a future, and I don't want to plan for my future, I just don't care for it.

@user-wr2cd1wy3b

2 ай бұрын

A certain percentage are probably not suicides at all.

@graydhd8688

2 ай бұрын

​@PlateletRichGel as if that will add any fucking meaning or value to anyone's life

@PlateletRichGel

2 ай бұрын

@@graydhd8688 Nobody killing themselves there LOL.

Ouch he is right. I don't fear death, I fear waking up

To all the men who feel anxious in their lives, hear me out, I have something to share: Toxic masculinity hurts men too, the way men are raised and have all these expectations placed upon them RUIN their lives. I grew up as a guy and all my guy friends never were real with me, you couldn’t hug them when you were sad or be genuine with them because that would “make you gay” or something. I’m sure there are plenty of people in the comments who disagree with me and think all sorts of weird things about women and gay people, and I promise you those thoughts are contributing to your suffering. I used to be a little shithead who cringed whenever men cried or cared about people instead of sexualizing things or turning everything into a cruel joke. This behavior isn’t rooted in biology, it’s a social pattern guys learned unfortunately and it hurts EVERYONE, including men. We gotta fix it and learn to love each other even if we might not agree with them. Think critically, don’t turn to hate. Whatever you do, never fall into the trap of hating kinds of people as a first reaction. It will kill your soul and theirs. I’m a woman now, and I’ve learned a lot on the way but I still feel sorry for a lot of men who genuinely feel anxious about their own lives. I don’t agree with most of the men who stick their head in the sand and (for example) tell me I’m not a woman, or just generally be mean and ignorant. But I still feel like we can get better. I promise you guys that once you learn how to treat people equally, and I truly mean equally. (It takes a lot of work to understand your biases and what makes you feel certain ways about people, even if they might be of disgust at first glance), once you can do that, you will heal. Good luck men, women, and all the folks in between. We are all human and we all deserve love and respect, and if you can’t see that then you are only contributing to the high suicide rate among other problems.

@Amanita._.Verosa._.

23 күн бұрын

Finally, a logicaI perspective. Thank you.

@cojoes1423

23 күн бұрын

Excellent comment.

I agree that not finding enough value in the world to desire prolonging the experience isn't automatically a mental illness. I'm glad someone had the courage to say it. People have to get up weekly, perform tasks of some sort, pay bills, run errans, do life maintenance things like wash clothes, cook, clean etc. and you have to really have a reason to want to continue doing those things. If we don't see the true problem, how could we address it properly. We have to create a new world of purpose and meaning.

@Commander_Boreale

2 ай бұрын

the family unit is dead, the government took the role of a provider for women and children. Men are just left to do whatever while they milk taxes from us, the state will take care of the rest. And there is no changing the state, democracy is fake, and even if it wasnt fake, there is more than half of our female population + apathetic and feminist-minded men that want the opposite of what we want, so democracy doesn't work for us. The only rational solution is to just boycott women and the state, but the problem is that we, men, dont really care about each other, and are too self-obsessed to even notice there are millions of men like us with just the same problems. If we could organize, maybe we could do something, but at the same time, we would (and similar organizations already were) get claimed as extremists and terrorists the same day, social pressure wouldn't allow it.

@wesleyduckett1982

2 ай бұрын

Its coming

@saycap

Ай бұрын

Good luck, the only things preventing that world are men with a lot of money and the men with guns that they hired

Definitely true and very relatable. I was 15 when I got diagnosed with depression, unsure of why I even felt depressed. About 1/2 a year later symptoms worsen, and I’m put into a residential mental hospital. Stayed there for 3 months, reflecting on how I don’t have a reason to be depressed and comparing myself to the others who have tragic stories. I end up getting raped by another female patient and she tries to extort me. Eventually I’m discharged and moved to php (day therapy at a mental hospital basically) for the next 4 months. Never getting better during any of this time. I was traumatized from the mental hospital experience wanting nothing to do with it ever again. Regardless I was still kept in php for another 3 months after about a month break. Eventually getting discharged and some time passes. During this time I missed about two years of high school, being an already bad student (not delinquent but just not very smart) I wasn’t going to be able to graduate. I still went to school anyways, but none of my old friends wanted to be around me anymore. I heard from my school counselor that they were concerned about me and said I was “acting different” that I wasn’t the same person. Which was true, I was completely numb a shell of the person I used to be. So I had no friends anymore. Then a girl asked me out. Never having dated before and being really defeated and vulnerable I agreed and we ended up dating. I ended up being cheated on, she left me for her abusive ex. This sent me spiraling back out of “control” and made the very numb me very emotional. This lead to a suicide attempt. Which landed me back in the mental hospital this time In inpatient (the highest level of supervision). Where I was able to make some “friends” and bond over our struggles. After getting discharged and going through the php program yet again, I developed trust issues, as once again my friends abandoned me after I helped them so many times. Leading me to this last year. No friends, I missed all of high school, I can’t drive, I ended up developing ptsd and a slight fear of women (especially when a woman touches me) I’m only taking college courses so my parents don’t kick me out of the house, I’m basically broke, I’m failing all of my college courses, I don’t find anything in life enjoyable, I can’t sleep at night, I hate how I look, I can only work so often without mentally breaking, and to top it all off I’m Christian- so I can’t bring myself to actually kill my self because I know hell is a worse fate. Though it doesn’t stop me from fantasizing about it. it all makes me feel as if I was never meant to survive my suicide attempt. That there was a mistake in letting me live. So everything I do feels pointless and only adds to my suffering.

@prettyeyes6940

2 ай бұрын

Buddy hope u r OK. Sorry to hear that u went through so much at such a young age. It's not easy man bt always remember nothing in this universe that comes in existence is a mistake. Hope u get over ur depressive thoughts. Hope u get better🙏 U did ur best as u could, don't be so hard on urself.

@Noname72105

2 ай бұрын

If it helps, gods and magic aren't real. There's no Hell to fear.

@Apathetic2624

2 ай бұрын

@@Noname72105 wow, thanks for shaming my religion, and intentionally or not indirectly encouraging me to kill myself.

@Noname72105

2 ай бұрын

@@Apathetic2624 I'm not encouraging you to do anything except stop living afraid of a god's judgement. The supernatural isn't real, the material world is all we have. Whether that makes you value this life more or less is your choice.

@Apathetic2624

2 ай бұрын

@@Noname72105 I’m not afraid of any gods judgement if that’s your interpretation of Christianity you’re sorely mistaken. Though I thought I made it somewhat clear if you actually read the comment, religion is probably the only thing keeping me from killing myself.

Lack of empathy and community is what is putting this phenomenon on the map…the digital age has warped humanity. It’s sad. I try to be kind to everyone of every age.

@dumfriesspearhead7398

Ай бұрын

In another video Dr K states that the male suicide rate has been constant for over 100 years; it's not about digitalisation.

this is why men need to connect and build stronger freindships. i see it too often with men saying that they dont get into personal or deep conversations with their male freinds and its literally killing us

@btf_flotsam478

Ай бұрын

It almost feels like you're saying men need to be drinking at a bar again.

@txh588

Ай бұрын

​@@btf_flotsam478 do men need to drink to open up?

@kaczok1985

6 күн бұрын

Ok. How? Especially if you're 40 or 50 and have no social circle whatsoever. How do you fix that?

I felt the same. I am usually a very active person, I have good self esteem. But one day, I started waking up, thinking that the reward that life was giving me didn't correlate the effort I was putting in, and it started to be painful. After some months, I started thinking that leaving this world was a good idea. Thankfully, this has changed a lot these past months 😊

@lucamara6424

2 ай бұрын

I’m glad you’re still here

@lucamara6424

2 ай бұрын

❤

@electricisnthereatthemomen6535

2 ай бұрын

Can you give me some advice? I’m currently in the same mindset that you once were

@Rubeniger11

2 ай бұрын

@@electricisnthereatthemomen6535 First of all, and I can't stress this enough, look for professional advice. Even if the world is the same for everyone, each of us faces reality in a different way - in every level - We absolutely need someone that can understand our reality in order to guide us towards a change in our mindset, thus changing the way we perceive reality I can't say that what I did will work for you, but in my case, I had to change priorities and lower the expectations. I've been often comparing myself to other people more wealthy and better situations , being miserable because I though I deserved more than I had. Like most of people around me had more things (not necessarily material) than me, while doing less effort. First thing was to stop comparing me against other people, that means quitting all social media and stop following people that made me be angry about this. Second was changing the priority of my actions. I started working not to see immediate results (principally economic), but personal and future results, although it leads towards a delayed gratification, and this is sometimes difficult to bear, if we dont see immediate results. Exercice for better shape, study for building knowledge. I started mixing activities to get a balance in lifestyle, having a routine with delayed grat activities, then sometimes activities to just feel good. I neglected interpersonal relationships a little bit, so I started building that too. That was really important. Although I barely started seeing results, I can say my mindset changed drastically and now I wake up with more enthusiasm than many months before, feeling like tomorrow will be more promising than yesterday. As I said before, surely your situation is different than mine and you need something different, but I'm sure that with someone's help, you can detect what you could change in your life and work towards those changes. Anyways, always expect that what you will be in some months, depends about what you will do today, and that counts for both mental and physical. I wish you best of luck and I hope you find your path ;)

@NotaNazgul

2 ай бұрын

​@@electricisnthereatthemomen6535find a goal and pursue it for at least a year. Not because it is the ideal goal. But bc you NEED a goal to direct your energy towards. The journey towards that goal is all you need to grow, feel your energy and strenght, attract new people. Listen to "can't hurt me". Unbelievable audiobook. Happiness is a reward for overcoming your fears and addiction to comfort. Become a health freak. Free your energy. Eat healthy, sleep well, boost your testosterone (cold showers etc). No sugar. Learn to cook, celebrate that you can feed yourself - now that is you improving your life! Get into action and feel your strength! Love you! ❤

In Brazil we have a song called "Warrior boy" (Guerreiro Menino) which tells precisely about these invisible male battles that no one but us as men care about. The lyrics say things like "A man also cries, Also want lap, Kind words, Need affection, Need tenderness, need a hug of your own kindness" Meaning that sometimes we even stop taking care of ourselves even if that is the most important thing At another point the song says something very similar to what the short says it is "A man humiliates himself, Your dream is castrated, Your dream is your life, And life is work, And without your work, A man has no honor And without your honor If he dies, he kills himself" Something like "if a man doesn't see himself in some role that serves the community, family or something like that, he completely loses his value, and the best solution for him is to simply cease to exist. It's an extremely sad song if you're a man going through some difficult times, and sometimes in my worst moments listening to it, it even seems like a warning, so I don't give up.

thats why I started farming, because at least I had something to do, and could turn my suffering into workaholism that made me constantly available to take care of plants, and feed people, who i realized dont care about me, but at least I was busy enough to not self delete like all my friends.

As an empathic soul, this hurts me so much. I feel like there are so many men that just are not unconditionally loved in their relationships and it’s not fair. Men aren’t taught to ask for that, or are taught that if they do it’s not what should be prioritized. Everyone deserves to be seen and loved without asking for it. It’s so sad for me to see all the men here that didn’t feel that until they had children. I remember taking time out of my day to go to my dad and eventually my guy friends when I got older whenever I saw they were sad. I always told them that they mattered and that their ideas and life was worth living. I also want to note that if women expect to be treated a certain way, it goes miles to first treat the men around you the way you wish to be treated. Even if they aren’t perfect and didn’t ask for that treatment. I’m not talking about abusive individuals, I’m talking about men that suffer from the patriarchy the same way everyone else does. In some ways men are worse off because it leaves them so alone.

Men need a tribe. I come from a toxic family and everyone is on their own island. People always say men don’t seek help but that’s not true at all. People just don’t care. So many people are so self absorbed now. Then you get the people who say “I’m going to check back in with you when everything gets better”. I hate those people, they want to say they helped you without even trying. Let’s start a group men.

@bob2k375

2 ай бұрын

I'm down

@THE_SAMURAI_PETER

2 ай бұрын

Make that three of us

@manassrivastava9816

2 ай бұрын

I am down brother . If no one else is there we will be

@fbkkhfjlnbh

2 ай бұрын

Even women need ppl but they dont kill themselves they just feel bad and lonely

@fbkkhfjlnbh

2 ай бұрын

Just bcs u need ppl doesn't mean u let shit slide or sell ur self out for the sake of being with somebody be careful some needs makes blind

"you might not be mentally ill, you just live in the US" is too real

@atlas6920

2 ай бұрын

Based

@taterboob

2 ай бұрын

Rent free.

@brocklastname6682

2 ай бұрын

I'm thankful everyday that I was born in the US. It could be much, much worse.

@StellaStormtheDruid

2 ай бұрын

@@brocklastname6682 thats what the propaganda machine wants you to think bro, the "worse" places to be born are like that *because* of the US

@shawnbottom4769

2 ай бұрын

​@@brocklastname6682Just wait. Besides that, comparing one shitstorm to an even worse shitstorm does not make the lesser shitstorm good.

This is why being present with other human beings is so important. Presence starts within oneself and extends outward. Just notice how you feel and listen before starting to fix things. Just listen. Be present.

It's even harder to connect with people when you fundamentally have something wrong with you. I have autism, broad-spectrum, and it's really difficult to handle emotions sometimes. It makes it really difficult to connect with people, but I really enjoy your videos, and I've never skipped one. Thank you.

Can confirm. I’ve experienced this. We logic ourselves into being suicidal.

@Andreas-gh6is

Ай бұрын

Nothing logical about it. If you feel that much psychological pain, you're depressed. Doesn't really matter how much you think it's real.

@kobalt77

Ай бұрын

very much so. It is the inability to see how things can change for the better that is so cruel.

@kaczok1985

6 күн бұрын

​​​@@Andreas-gh6is Not necessarily. Psychological pain might be a result of you accurately evaluating your life situation and making a cost vs. reward judgement. Yes, you can technically call it situational depression, but that does not change the fact that it's a reaction to your actual life circumstances. And there is no pill that fixes life circumstances.

@Andreas-gh6is

5 күн бұрын

@@kaczok1985 there's not much "life circumstance" that merits suicide. That's part of the pathological thought pattern. Even unbelievable pain is tolerable to some people. Living alone or whatever certainly doesn't count. In order to confuse suicidal ideation with rational thought you need to ignore the pink elephant that is in the room with most people: The drive towards self preservation and even just curiousity. If that's not there, that's clearly a pathological case. Enduring "psychological pain" is the very definition of depression. Without the physiological side of depression, you just can't stay as sad as long, no matter the circumstances. Your brain wouldn't let you.

@kaczok1985

5 күн бұрын

@@Andreas-gh6is "Some people" are not all people. I wonder, do you consider hopelessness a pathology of the mind if it is a product of someone's lived experiences?

Every time I get suicidal it's always external. I have mental issues sure, but once I have a suicidal thought I can sit down, make a list of everything thats wrong, fix all those problems, and stop having the suicidal issue anymore until I feel trapped or stuck in a situation again. It's not shocking that people who are rejected socially at every turn would do this.

@Kingbimmy

2 ай бұрын

Have you been in therapy? That sounds like a very useful tool like ones I’ve been learning in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. That shit really does help. I’m glad it’s helped you ❤

@justacoginthefkery

2 ай бұрын

More often than not, when I suggest these kinds of practices to men, they get mad & lash out. Reflection & mental/ emotional organization practices really do help, but if someone isn't on board with addressing the problem or shifting the perspective away from helplessness & victimhood, they keep themselves stuck. It gets a little frustrating to talk to ppl who ask for help & then reject every suggestion that may actually help them.

@griper00

2 ай бұрын

idk to me there is so much more interesting stuff worth living than social stuff. world is a fascinating place. what brings me down is my mental health issues its like i wanna live but i feel so bad that i would rather dont.

@heli0mancer

2 ай бұрын

​@justacoginthefkery are you a therapist? If you are, there's nothing I can do to help as it requires a clinical mind and I'm no professional. If you're not a therapist, I recommend to consider the setting and the wording. If someone responds to advice by lashing out, they're triggered by something. They probably don't like the wording or the way you're describing it. You're seeing it as rejecting help. They're probably seeing it as something else entirely. It's easy to follow this advice if you're the one prescribing it and wanting it. Especially if it's your idea.

@justacoginthefkery

2 ай бұрын

@@heli0mancer I understand what you mean as I've already reflected on the patterns, what I say, how, etc. The most common theme is the lash out tends to happen online & when they realize/ figure out that I'm a woman (It's not like I hide it, it's just not a detail that should matter in most situations), sometimes if there's any suggestion about reframing the mindset/ prespective for them to get out of victimhood mindset. Then come all the projections about women being "privileged", how women don't "know anything" & any number of angry & extreme generalizations. Occasionally, someone will be receptive & thankful. If they think I'm a man, they'll be fully 100% receptive without issue. Face to face? It's a non-issue. The only work around is to explain what I've been through myself so they can understand that I am speaking from experience, but they also have to be receptive to the idea that they can be wrong about their projected assumptions. I'm very well versed in trauma, how to work around triggers & this kind of thing wasn't an issue with men up until a few yrs ago. Unfortunately, the whole gender war nonsense has a lot of men looking for enemies where they don't exist.

The reason they don't have a history of being mentally ill is because they don't seek aid and they are hiding their emotions well. This shows that they've been through alot alone, not because nobody is there for them but because they are afraid/worried to reach out.

@HOVNA

19 күн бұрын

This might sound right in your mind, but people dont kill themselves before reaching out or seeking help. Nobody is just jumping to suicide

Couldn't agree more. Everytime I was on the brink of suicide, it was not out of depression. It was because was analyzing my life and seeing that me not being here may be a better option and bring more happiness to others. It was out of the feeling of hopelessness that I was only making things worse and that I could not become better. It was unfulfilled purpose. Fixing the suicidal feeling was never drugs, or therapy, or "focusing on myself" in a selfish sense. It was focusing on why I do the things I do, where I am in life, and changing the things for the better that I could change.

I can tell you. I can deal with depression. I’ve dealt with it my whole life. It’s disappointment that gets me. The feeling that I need to do everything, and it still won’t be enough, and nobody cares. So I do it for myself. The only way for men to stay happy is through stability. That’s why I decided to see more friends, that get my thing and try to hope they don’t judge it. Works well so far. There are some that are kind of ruthless but most of the time, they don’t.

@Sarcasmtomasksadness

2 ай бұрын

Jesus cares. Hang in there ❤

@ksh2596

2 ай бұрын

Same. You learn to deal with depression. But it's harder to cope with the feelings of uselessness, hopelessness and inadequacy

@joelsantos662

2 ай бұрын

I feel this man, good luck to you

@auralfanart

2 ай бұрын

What’s your “thing“? I’m a born-again Christian with a heart full of perverse darkness.

What Dr. K said is 100% true. I found myself in this situation in September 2022, arguably my lowest point in my life. I didn’t have anything to my name, lost a couple of my friends due to someone disassociating me from them, with said someone getting me addicted to drugs before completely exiting my life after the damage they’ve done. When you genuinely feel like there’s no hope left and you have no one to reach out to, you think this is the only valid option to take to “fix” everything. All the mistakes suddenly seem fixable within that moment. It wasn’t until I ‘woke up’ and realized that this wasn’t the way life was meant to be experienced I’m so glad I’m here today and have been going into my second year drug-free.

@whatthe3711

2 ай бұрын

That’s exactly the month and year of my lowest as well

@joshkomo7870

2 ай бұрын

Congrats on that friend

@MG-hi9sh

2 ай бұрын

I'm happy for you man, I'm glad you're still here. As for myself, I don't feel the same about myself, I wish I was gone tbh. I don't want to do this anymore, I'm tired, fed up, in a lot of pain, and I'm reaching a point of apathy and misery, life isn't happy, interesting or enjoyable for me anymore, it's just painful, arduous, tedious, gloomy and miserable. I guess I'll have to live on because I don't really feel like I have much choice, but I don't really want to. If you guys still want me around, I'll do it for y'all as well, but I'm losing the will at this point tbh. I'm just glad I've at least got a job and I'm earning money and contributing to society, so at least I'm making myself useful. I am a 26 year old man doing what I can, but I'm just surviving, not living a happy, content life. I hope you guys wish me the best, I could do with some moral support atm.

@hannahgordon6847

2 ай бұрын

@@MG-hi9sh a lot of people here and I'm sure people in your life wish you the best 🙏

@ericy1005

2 ай бұрын

Being on drugs and being able to stop so you can live a better life is a huge accomplishment. Congratulations!!!

My daughter just turned 1 and started talking. She calls me Daddyyyy. I LOVE It

I am 53...and I went down a wrong path at age 13 fully acknowledging the consequences of that path...and that 13-year old's solution was when the consequences catch up with me, I will leave this world and escape. Strange but a true fact...and those consequences are knocking at the door.

@jesusofjamaica

20 күн бұрын

Don't listen to your suicidal thoughts. Fight them. My father is similar age as you and I would do everything to stop him if I knew he has such thoughts. Your life is precious and meaningful, even if you don't feel it now.

"they try to connect with others and they get rejected" is the most most hard hitting sad but true facts i will ever hear because i am going through that right as i am sure others are too 😔🥺🙈

@mkguba3843

2 ай бұрын

I'm going through it too man, but the ironic thing is that we can find other people going through the same thing online and connect with them

@obievergreen3771

2 ай бұрын

And then if we have any gripes with being rejected, we get ridiculed. It feels almost like a targeted effort.

@MrHildebrand

2 ай бұрын

And people wonder why introverts don't ever want to leave the house. You can't get hurt if you don't put yourself out there with a target on your back.

@Depressionwave2338

2 ай бұрын

​@@mkguba3843I am not a man but I got into a mental hospital because of this exact cause of being suicidal. And I found my best friend in there, I met people who did not judge, blame and loved me despite my state, and my worldview. We had no skeletons to hide in there lol. I still have this objective loss on the world and it is like i don't have the survival instinct of staying alive as long as you can, but at least I have people who don't reject me.

@bryanmiller8604

2 ай бұрын

No just rejected, but humiliated, & now thanks to social media grifters, & me2, men’s lives can be ruin in an instant with a false accusation by a woman.

People often don't care until it's too late. I don't know how many times I reached out, and did my best as a "cry for help" but nobody really responds much and slowly stops talking to you if you're depressed for "too long". We're often told it's ok for us to open up, but we see the truth in your body language and your eyes. You want to call us weak and tell us to just "suck it up", but that would be mean. Yet they'll all say "I wish he said something" at your wake, knowing full well you did and they just stood there and watched you kill yourself. They just don't want to feel guilty. But there ARE people who care, I know it sounds ridiculous. I'd never been close to any of my extended family for various reasons until one reached out a few days ago randomly. They admitted something personal to me and it started a dialogue that both of us bonded over pretty hardcore. It didn't take away the pain, or make it "all better", but I don't feel so isolated now. We all need to support each other. I think the time for "who suffered the most" is over. It's time we all admit life can be cruel and terrible for everyone no matter who or where you are in life, and that we should all try healing together. (Edit: I'd like to clarify my "depressed for too long" statement. You can't stay in your depression forever, it burns you in ways you don't realize until you've isolated yourself farther. I should have probably been more specific and said something along the lines of insulting you after about a week about "not being over it". A lot of you have people in your lives that are suffering and you're doing the best you can to help. The appreciation for your efforts to help those people is even less. It's one thing to ask for a shoulder to lean on. It's another to trauma dump and drag the other boat down so to speak.)

@karolinawww6834

2 ай бұрын

The truth is nobody is responsible for your well-being as an adult it's up to you. I have a very mentally ill person in my family and there is literally nothing anyone can do about her illness, we've tried everything, but she doesn't want treatment and just gets worse. People can offer support, but they have their own struggles, even if they don't tell you. Don't dump too much on another person, that's not what relationships are about

@shinra41

2 ай бұрын

@@karolinawww6834 in none of my statements did I imply the other is responsible for my happiness, well being, or safety. Because yes you are correct. Nobody can help you if you don't want it. The driving force MUST come from within. I'm pointing out the hypocrisy of the people who claim up and down that they'll be there for you, but don't actually mean it and just say it to look good. Everyone has limits. We're people with problems only they can understand or define, and more often than not you just can't shoulder the pain of another. Mental illness is rampant in my family as well as being extremely distant and massive double standards. Words can only go so far. With who I am, actions speak way louder. Putting an arm around me and just sitting with me is more than enough. You are correct, a partner is not a therapist, an emotional relief valve, or something that must be there at all moments for every problem in your life. I just don't want to feel like I live in an empty void.

@maxj3882

2 ай бұрын

Bars.

@shinra41

2 ай бұрын

@@maxj3882 recovering alcoholic. Been sober almost a year. Bars aren't for me. But I am looking around on the city page for community events. I've got a friend who's a city manager a town over and I'm probably going to get in touch with him since he's got the rundown on all the local events.

@Kepler10b

2 ай бұрын

I stopped talking to my depressed friend because her depression went on for so long to the point where it was making me feel mentally ill and it got to a point where I had to protect myself. Everything was always about her. I gave her so much love and care but she never once cared about my problems because she was too depressed to care about what I was going through. It's hard being friends with a depressed person because in my experience it's a one-sided friendship where only the depressed person benefits.

As a man this is honestly the most accurate description of my situation

A lot of studies suggest that the image society projects on men - being strong, invulnerable, protective ("boys don't cry", "man up", "grow a pair") - leads to them not learning well to communicate their feelings in a way that they are received as problem but rather as a statement they are going to fix on their own. For example they would rather say "I am exhausted I had a sh1t day at work I am going to bed" instead "I feel exhausted and stressed because there was a situation at work that made me feel very uncomfortable. I feel like I failed and I don't know how to move on from this. Do you have some advice?" I experienced that with many male friends where I actually had to ask a lot more questions to come to a point where they could interpret the situation for them selves and explain it in a way I could react suitable. But it's possible, it is a lelearnung curve for everyone.

a lot of people dont seem to realize that having a good life can make it harder because of the internal struggles of potential, the curse of potential as its been called, actually makes us feel more like a failure when we have so much of what we need to succeed but then cant use our free will effectively enough to achieve results. which also leads to the fear of failure as well. and this is only half the story.

@bobowon5450

2 ай бұрын

Can also be a really rough spot to be when you aren't nessicarily successful or thriving, but you are just making it by enough that everyone tells you that you shouldn't complain

@niunia27272727

2 ай бұрын

Ahh, I can relate. Objectively life is good, I'm supposed to be achieving stuff, and I'm not achieving anything anymore. No hope, no future, just nothing and waiting for it all to end.

@Ryosuke1208

2 ай бұрын

Or maybe we try to keep up with societal expectations of success instead of our own.

@Pranjal_Sharma_Sports

2 ай бұрын

That's such a great comment ❤

@Ocean58492

2 ай бұрын

f

I feel like this is part of why solitary confinement is such a brutal punishment. Both physical and psychological isolation are an unbearable form of torture

yep. it's scary how accurately this applies to me.

What he’s saying is exactly how I’m feeling. I don’t know where to turn, I’m scared to speak out because I don’t want people to think of me differently but hearing him say this give me hope I will still be here in the next 5 years ❤

Shitttt... that last part got me. "Try to connect with others and they get rejected." I feel like I knew that but needed to hear it out load

People suck nowadays. If you aren't a shallow person yourself you will be eaten up or ignored. Sad world that we live in nowadays but I will always have hope for a better future.

@Ryosuke1208

2 ай бұрын

I'm not shallow, and if I were I would connect with other shallow people so why would I want that? Just be yourself and your tribe will find you.

@radroatch

2 ай бұрын

Seeing the surface is much easier than seeing the depths. Hope can be great, but don't let it prevent learning to drive in and finding what you're looking for.

@davejacob5208

2 ай бұрын

quite the opposite in my opinion, more honest people get much better connections much faster, (after all, there is no way to have a real connection to someone who is shallow, because that can per se only create a shallow connection). there are of course people who are highly successfull while only playing pretend, but those are not the majority (since highly (!) successfull people are per se rare), and those can also only get connections that go as deep as they themselves are willing to be open about their depths. they can get fame and affection etc., of course. but if you want affection of the kind that can come about without knowledge about who you actually are, then i would suggest you rethink your priotities.

@McSquirts

2 ай бұрын

@@Ryosuke1208idk about that lol. But I’m just gonna keep doing my thing.

@nikolaidrago7938

2 ай бұрын

@@davejacob5208 It's just my experience. Most people I've met have been shallow and only care about appearances. It's because of social media mostly. The person you're describing here is the rare exception and not the rule.

That's really accurate!! In the recent past, my experiences and situations got me thinking and realising that_ there's darkness in the distance, from the way that I've been living, and I know I can't resist it, there's no way out other than going away

I feel this now more than ever after feeling like I lost the love of my life because of some fights I handled poorly. Going outside, partying, work, money, traveling. Since approx. 9 months none of these genuinely feel like they make me happy or at least make it a life worth living.

There was a really good unaliveing ad where two guys go to every soccer game. one guy is very sad and disinterested in everything. But his friend still includes him as he celebrates with the crowd. The last game the disinterested friend is there but the happy friend isn't. Life is hard but not impossible, I know living can feel painful and it can be hard to take a breath. I know it's difficult to find hope but it's there, don't give up. Your not alone.

@jacobw.6744

2 ай бұрын

Life doesn't have to be "impossible" to feel not worth living. Everyone has a different "wow this is harder than I can/will/could/want/etc." That being said, I believe in what you're saying and think you're correct. But if someone asks "well why do you think my life is worth living and is salvageable in a way that I'll ever feel fulfilled or even content?", they likely need an answer that goes beyond simply telling them that life good, suicide bad.

@jenso413

2 ай бұрын

that ad gets me every time. really powerful message

@ukaszg1358

2 ай бұрын

You are not alone, but you are, and every day proves it. Hope is in magicland only

@DaveE99

2 ай бұрын

@@SimonWoodburyForget you stop when you can’t bet on faith in one’s own effort being able to affect the game. It’s like learned helplessness.

@gisar.6539

2 ай бұрын

that Norwich City ad had me in tears

It's genuinely scary to think about the fact that someone with an objectively healthy mind could be in a situation where they're contemplating suicide.

@niunia27272727

2 ай бұрын

Yep, nothing is wrong with my brain currently (really good meds), I feel happy, but it feels forced, artificial and empty. Still thinking how nice it would be to not wake up tomorrow. Sometimes life actually sucks, even if, looking from the outside, it seems like it shouldn't.

@nicholasalder2873

2 ай бұрын

It's more like you just don't want to exist, and there's only one way to do that.

@DaveE99

2 ай бұрын

I realized at one point someone said that suercidality is a need to take bigger risks (to gain connection status and selection). If you combined evo psych knowledge on low status males and risk taking with symptoms of male depression syndrome, often angry, can be over or underworking and increases in risk taking. What I take from all this and my own situation is that we are essentially designed to fall down and try to get back up and run towards the top as much as possible to challenge the “top guy” even if it risks death, because on an individual level it’s a bad investment, but at a group level strategy, it actually works out to the benefit of the group, cuz sometimes you actually win! 🏆. And while aggression needs to be sicialized as it has been in society, what we end up having is a situation where people yell at you to do all sorts of things that don’t allow for this, they tell you to stay in your place and don’t even care to understand, and because of how sexual selection works, staying in your lane isn’t to one’s advantage, and yet we feel blocked by a control oriented society that screams freedom and yet gives that freedom to a select class at every turn. In many ways while favoring a group of certain people, it’s like how the f else are we to think and feel.

@jwg0814

2 ай бұрын

I wouldnt say "healthy mind"... Not being mentally ill is not the same as having a healthy mind. He has a lot of videos about this (not this specifically), how men feel hopeless because we use the "wrong" solution/path to our problems, for example, being obsessed with having a gf and not being able to, which leads to pushing away potential partners. Or believing that you cannot find a gf cuz you are not handsome, rich and yadi yadi yada... I love this last situation cuz the same thing happens to ppl who want to have kids but dont because they feel they dont have enough money and resources. But Dr K solution to it is, look around, and you will find ppl who are like you, who have what you desire. This shows that we are not mentally healthy but we are not mentally ill.

@Sk83rNinja

2 ай бұрын

People you may know could be or was suicidal at some point and you would never know now like others said though it isn’t a healthy state of mind they are in when it happens they just are good at hiding it(the pain/empty/hopeless feeling)

The only times I've felt suicidal were times like this. People can feel worthless, betrayed or like there's little to nothing to live for or like life is unbearable regardless of if they have mental illness or not. While I don't generally support any violence (which include suicide), I can understand the urge for it at times. It is up to us to try to have self control and work through it but that's far easier said than done, especially when a lot of these men either have no support network, friends or family, or the ones they do have are abusive or users. Again, no excuse for violence or self-harm.. I'm just saying, we should try to understand these men and women (especially men for these sorts of issues) and understand where they're coming from.

Wow. That pretty much sums up my life. The only thing keeping me from offing myself is just the fear of doing it🤷‍♂️