Are you using Squarespace yet? YOU SHOULD BE: squarespace.com/BLAZE

@evepayler1461

3 жыл бұрын

Simone I think you should do a video about KZread channels that aren’t about what the channel name says (You’re channel will be on top)

@RodolphosTechchannel

3 жыл бұрын

Simon, I have feelings towards you. I often dream about you and your beautiful beard

@sidhawkwind8179

3 жыл бұрын

Posted 8hrs ago???? WTF??? What Wizardry is this??? :shiftyeyes:

@ki-td5yb

3 жыл бұрын

Hey, Simon, guess what? Cocaine!

@sidhawkwind8179

3 жыл бұрын

@@RodolphosTechchannel insert he-man meme here

I love going back and watching older BB episodes and seeing things such as Rotting Turtle that eventually became a reality.

@catherine_404

Жыл бұрын

Yes! It's like diving into an archive, it's almost archaeology!

"Texas has a lot of guns right? Or do they just have bigger guns?" Yes Simon, just yes

@roryjineffect

3 жыл бұрын

Live in Texas, can confirm

@jeremyfranks7608

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed... In fact, just ordered another one today. Picked up the last one on Friday last week and it completes my set for 7.62. All members of that caliber family accounted for in my boat house... Just in case they really want to take a swim one day. Lol

@ZLT_90

3 жыл бұрын

I was like yeah right Simon. Americans don't always have guns on them. As I look up and see my bed side table gun. Nvm Simon just nvm

@jeremyfranks7608

3 жыл бұрын

@@ZLT_90 just be careful that your shower safe doesn't spring a leak and get your shower gun all rusty.... That was a rough day having to put down a pistol so young....

@andreahughes1155

3 жыл бұрын

@@jeremyfranks7608 lol, hilarious!

"I'm lazy and creatively bankrupt" would be a good shirt.

@rhov-anion

3 жыл бұрын

I would get that.

@bigginsd1

Жыл бұрын

You could bootleg it, that’s even more creatively bankrupt although it does require effort and you’ve already said you’re lazy. Maybe write it on a shirt with a sharpie?

@sammehlberg6664

Жыл бұрын

I'm lazy and literally bankrupt

@jackryan4313

Жыл бұрын

@@sammehlberg6664 "and literally bankrupt" on the back of the shirt

Simon Whistler: "Don't smoke, it's extremely bad for you even if it is cool". There goes that Public Health Minister job you never wanted...

As a smoker of almost 40 years, I can assure you that at no time have I thought "these taste pretty good".

@jasonwomack4064

3 жыл бұрын

You have to smoke Lucky Strike non-filter. They're the only "taste good" smoke left.

@brainblaze6526

3 жыл бұрын

@@jasonwomack4064 It's roasted. (Or whatever shit they say on Mad Men, I forget).

@joehorn1762

3 жыл бұрын

@@jasonwomack4064 I tried one once, holy fuck I coughed like crazy.

@wolff

3 жыл бұрын

@@brainblaze6526 It's toasted!

@lunaticfae4415

3 жыл бұрын

@@jasonwomack4064 nah bro. Camel royals taste like mint choclate. Theyre good

'nobody should be purchasing yoko ono in the first place' I'm not sure that truer words have ever been spoken.

"Sometimes I miss being a student. Other times I definitely don't." Is pretty much the best summary of the university experience

Please do an episode where Danny Mails you a handwritten script. Make it something like the most bonkers things sent through the mail

If rotting turtle becomes real, I'll immediately get on my finest 70's leisure suit, spritz on some fine turtle aroma, put on disco music, snort Peruvian marching dust until the sun comes up.

@derekstein6193

3 жыл бұрын

You mean Icebreakers?

@americantopteam135s-t7

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like good fun, can I join?

@kilgoretrout3966

3 жыл бұрын

Coco calls it Columbian Marching Powder...gotta love Uncle Joey.

@somerandom3257

3 жыл бұрын

It is real now, so better get those disco records out of storage lol

@ChristmasLore

2 жыл бұрын

It is real now...

A true OG knows the explanation of what is going on is in itself OG. How dare anyone even question that.

Watching this after Simon made Rotting Turtle a thing is the most amusing thing ever. Bless this man. What a legend.

Is anyone else concerned that Danny is unfamiliar with Bic pens because he’s been writing the scripts in blood?

ETA IS SLOWLY BUT SURELY MAKING HIS COMEBACK

@melodyparker3485

3 жыл бұрын

#bringbackETA

@PrepareToDie0

3 жыл бұрын

I for one welcome our new space heater overlord

@isuina4727

3 жыл бұрын

As he should

@toddlerj102

3 жыл бұрын

I noticed it too

@DerptyDerptyDUM

3 жыл бұрын

@@PrepareToDie0 I'd like to remind him that as a trusted TV personality, Simon can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground basement caves.

Sam.... the memes were perfection!!!! Danny, brilliant script as always, and Simon, oh Simon.... you are hysterical! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

@alycrochet

3 жыл бұрын

Simon was disappointment in his BB references. He could have mentioned that you only buy a fleet of expensive cars if you are an NBA star who gets dissed by a random employee at the car dealership. For shame, Simon.

Is it a lot of guns or bigger guns? As a certified Texan: *YES*

@wschnabel1987

3 жыл бұрын

A polish guy has a reaaalllly big revolver: Ryszard Tobys.

@patternwhisperer4048

3 жыл бұрын

Everything is bigged in texas!

@Chrisfrom_Dallas

3 жыл бұрын

I am Texan, I don't have any more guns than normal, and they aren't bigger than normal either.😉

If Simon does not fix his sign we will revolt and let Danny out of the basement to exact his revenge.

@NX-gw7wg

3 жыл бұрын

#freedanny

@fredocuomo5386

3 жыл бұрын

danny lives with me in america..my amazon orders have become mostly canned eels

@LizRealGirlBeauty

3 жыл бұрын

It was killed by ETA. Simon leaves it as it is as a stark reminder of why he doesn't have a cohost.

@kristinehansen.

3 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@b1ackm3ssiah

3 жыл бұрын

If simon doesn't fix the sign we make danny the new host of BB - since he is the funny one anyways ^.^

Start a merch line that pays for Danny’s trip to Prague so he and Simon get get absolutely shithoused in a basement pub and go podcast Simon interviewing Danny about his life. Or start an even better merch line so the can go to Amsterdam and blaze.

@dandan2075

3 жыл бұрын

I;m not from Prague but I think you can blaze there, legal or not

Disposable underwear probably would have prevented Disney actors from giving each other crabs back when they had standard-issue communal underwear, Bic missed their best potential market.

@Don_of_the_Dad

3 жыл бұрын

Hikers and campers would probably be all over those

@audreysark4061

3 жыл бұрын

I live on a boat. I'd buy all disposable clothing if I could.

I went to the dentist today. I feel dreadful. Dance for my amusement Fact Boy. Entertain me. Saw a spoiler in the comments that Charles is back. I never have to tell him that he needs to entertain me. He always delivers.

"Texas has a lot of guns, right?... or bigger guns?" Texas has guns that shoot smaller guns.

You bleep Simon swearing, but put in a video clip with unbleeped swearing in it... Very consistent. Good job. Proud of you. Keep up the good work.

ETA speaks from the shadows. His second coming was foretold by the prophets. He will rise again stronger and more argumentative than ever.

The BB rabbit hole reels you in with business related topics at first. After two days of binge watching you’re railing fat lines of coke and wondering how tf so many Nazi affiliated companies are still around today and nobody bats an eye. It’s my favorite channel tho 😂

Don't worry Simon. From the 22:00 mark to the 23:58 mark, most of us were not paying attention too. We all were too busy commentating about Rotten Turtle... only for Legends.

@jeremyfranks7608

3 жыл бұрын

And Texan with our guns....

“Texas has more guns. Or do they just have bigger guns?” Don’t worry, we’ve got both mate

@patprop74

3 жыл бұрын

Actually, on my first visit to Houston TX ( loved it there btw) coming from Canada, I was shocked to see just how many gun stores there were, Texas gun stores are like what cigarette and tobacco booths are to Indian reserves.

@benburgess9428

3 жыл бұрын

@@patprop74 Funnily enough, I work at a gun shop just outside of Houston...

Xylitol is brilliant. It's extracted from birch trees and is as sweet as ordinary sugar with fewer calories, and the really neat thing is that tooth decay bacteria mistake it for sugar and stop working because they starve themselves of real sugar and can't function, so it actually protects you from tooth decay. It's as "natural" as cane or beet sugar and is technically a sugar alcohol. I love the stuff. I now have no added sucrose sugar at all in my diet because of it.

Oh yeah! College cooking! I remember that time I busted out my large frying pan and cooked 60 eggs at the same time. I oversalted the giant mass of protein, but invented the technique of microwaving my serving of eggs in a bowl of water, and then pouring the water out. Makes them fluffy, leaches out the salt, and gives them new life. Yes. I ate nothing but eggs for 3 weeks. I am no longer a huge fan of eggs.

I am very interested in this "Rotting Turtle", let us know when it's available.

@hemberger91

3 жыл бұрын

I hope it’s with that same guy who helped him with Beard Blaze

@lorenclarke7815

3 жыл бұрын

I'm starting a band, just to use that name.

@somerandom3257

3 жыл бұрын

It is

@KougajiCalling

2 жыл бұрын

It's available!

ETA is extremely bitter that Simon mentioned heaters, mentioned something that isn't a fire hazard, and then didn't even give him a shout out.

@Dani-ln6sp

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah honestly what is up with that

@womble321

3 жыл бұрын

He should swap eta for a replika

@patrickjordan2233

3 жыл бұрын

ETA getting the "short" end again... )))

@cravenmoordik

3 жыл бұрын

#StopCensoringETA

Simon is getting closer & closer to becoming a master of seamless transitions. 👏👏👏👏

The idea of a sandcastle shaped bottle full of "rotting turtle" fragrance is absolutely hilarious to me!

Years and years ago, I ate at a Burger King on a US military base in Germany. We were there because for some reason a role play convention (pen & paper and table top strategy games) was held there. The sizes of everything on the bk menu were astounding. 😅 🤣

@kitop310

3 жыл бұрын

How do you think we stay so fat? Lol.

@dannahbanana11235

3 жыл бұрын

Table top strategy games are huge in the military, that actually makes a lot of sense.

@Ravenforce3

3 жыл бұрын

And yet, BK has the smallest "large" fry in the business. It actually makes me sad.

There was a store in the US that used to sell a perfume called Death and Decay. I'm really not into that kind of stuff, but I considered buying it just to display. I'd definitely buy one called Rotting Turtle for novelty's sake.

Currently at uni and I do the same thing. Best thing is googling how to cook an obscure meat at 11pm whilst tipsy and being unsure wether you’re going to die or not

@brainblaze6526

3 жыл бұрын

"When is badger too rotten to cook?" YAHOO ANSWERS: "Never, you're all good mate. Crack on."

I do not mind that you explain what -Business- Brain Blaze is. I actually appreciate that you point out who works with you one the video as well. Script writers and cutters are a valuable part of making things enjoyable and they deserve the love

Why ride in a Beetle when you can ride in a Mercedes limo with running bodyguards instead?

@JohnDoe-vn1we

3 жыл бұрын

Pathetic.

@joeyr7294

3 жыл бұрын

@@JohnDoe-vn1we allegedly

ETA??????

@bastian_5975

3 жыл бұрын

5 hours

#ETAnarchy we yearn for the orders

@acepilot1

3 жыл бұрын

ETA is actually Qanon

@TheGelasiaBlythe

3 жыл бұрын

@@acepilot1 allegedly.

We already have a disposable heater. It's called a log. Also definitely agree on the wild cooking sessions during school. No wine but many batches of beer brewing happened.

Danny, buy a zippo lighter. They are less than $20 and the fluid and flints that you need to keep it going cost much less than disposable lighters.

@deemariedubois4916

3 жыл бұрын

@Mary Hildreth And smell great. Just me?

@stephjovi

3 жыл бұрын

How and what for? He's dreaming and remembering his smoking days but these days he's kept as a slave and forced to work. He only gets crack cocaine and bland Magic Spoon. Cigarettes are too expensive

@andreahughes1155

3 жыл бұрын

@@stephjovi wait, I thought they (cigs) were used as a light snack? Still makes the lighter pointless.

@stephjovi

3 жыл бұрын

@@andreahughes1155 nah no cigarettes for keptives. Maybe Danny wants a lighter to melt the crack? Or is that only heroin?

I'm glad I can be here for this journey, as each light bulb in Simon's studio burns out and he makes excuses not to replace each one.

Texans: "Why doesnt he carry two guns a combat knife and three grenades!?"

@grapetoad6595

3 жыл бұрын

Only three grenades? He's asking to get mugged. He needs to be carrying *at least* 3 open carry guns, and a belt full of grenades. And a combat knife? Wuss! The minimum level of preparation you need for the next war is a longsword.

@jeremyfranks7608

3 жыл бұрын

Grenades? That's cute. My children stopped playing with those when they turned eleven... They haven't been able to tell their age on their fingers for several years each tho....

@robdeskrd

3 жыл бұрын

The thing about a 40K avatar is I don't know if I should say for "For the Emperor" or "Blood for the Blood God" cause I can't tell if he is a Khorne berserker or a Blood Angel 😆😆😆

Since Simon has his hideout in the Czech Republic, and just to be sure, I called their embassy. The nice lady at the phone confirmed that holding two people in a basement, chained to a radiator and against their will, is against the law in the Czech Republic too. The lady asked me if my inquiry had 'perhaps' something to do with the novels by Franz Kafka. I told her that the situation is way more complicated than Franz Kafka ever could have imagined. Alledgedly.

The best part of this video is Simon calling it Tack-o Bell 😆

You totally have to use Rotting Turtle as the label for all your merch'. " Beard oil, by the Rotting Turtle Company" etc....👍

I'm so glad Simon saw my comments about ETA I am really glad ETA has started to come back slowly

First time on this channel, not the first time I've watched Simon.... his ENERGY in this is BONKERS and I love it haha

Simon: Does Texas have a lot of guns or just bigger guns? Texas: Yes.

Oh man... my employer helped develop and produce the little plastic slider container for those Hershey pouches! Actually still have the molds if they ever want to give it another go :D

I can't wait to hear the following, "This episode of Business Blaze is brought to you by Rotting Turtle, the new fragrance for men"

@Ravenforce3

3 жыл бұрын

Pairs well with the beard oil. Get your holiday gift packs now and avoid the rush.

@annieinwonderland

Жыл бұрын

He has it now.

I live in brazil and just laughted so hard when the shower meme showed up because that is exactly what a shower looks like in some places here hahHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Bro, I was involved in a Zippo collection that numbered in the tens of thousands! We had 6 display cases that held 300. So much it took 2 years to move it all. Legendary!!

I think Business Blaze should have make the list of weird things companies made

Sam upped his game on this one. Those memes 🤩

That "How DARE You" - omfglol

"I've been in narcotics most of my career.." *MASSIVE explosion of white powder off screen* WOOOOOH!!!

Petition to make Simon get the next script as a set of Danny's scribblings. Let's make it happen boys

@boziewz6125

3 жыл бұрын

The entire life story of jobs and misdeeds of Danny the man chained to a radiator.

If I had disposable income I would totally wear a brand new pair of underwear every day and then just throw it out. Along with a brand new bottle if Rotting Turtle every day

"You know what's not a fire hazard? This thing that no one has ever suspected might be a fire hazard!"

Gerber's foray into "adult" food [16:40] reminds me of the FUTURAMA product: Bachelor Chow.

@Ravenforce3

3 жыл бұрын

Now with Flavor!

I'm glad he explains it everytime because if I hear anything other than "Danny writes us a script" I can just click off that video

@js19861234

3 жыл бұрын

It gives me anxiety when the script is written by anyone but Danny

Bic missed a trick with the disposable underwear. You market it to school girls, and you shop a 2 week supply and they post the dirty ones back Then you sell the dirty ones in Japan

@harrisonedwards9219

3 жыл бұрын

It doesn't even have to be Japan, you can probably find that type of person anywhere.

Thanks for all your work Simon x

Fun fact about the VW-sausage: SInce it has an item number in the parts-catalogue, it counts as a replacement part and every partnered dealership and repairshop (at least inside Germany) can order it from stock.

Rotting Turtle's logo should be the silhouette of an upside-down turtle shell with "stink lines" coming out of it.

Danny how much would we have to pay for you to send a script to Simon all in pen?

@deemariedubois4916

3 жыл бұрын

@Daniel Rodriguez I’m in.

@CandyBlog

3 жыл бұрын

Handwritten ? I’m in for that DANNY WHERE ARE YOU

@DannySalter

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe about $175 for a really good ballpoint pen.

@PaulMcElligott

3 жыл бұрын

@@DannySalter Legend.

It's weird that your videos make people feel less lonely yet you probably feel super lonely while you make the videos.🤔 Thank you Simon!

Gotta say, when Memes started turning up in Simon Whistler vids, I was like... stop with distractions, give us our Top Tenz list, you bald bearded man! But now I couldn't do without them.

Thank you KZread algorithm. I finally got a notification for this one!

@stephjovi

3 жыл бұрын

KZread dared not to notify you? I'm pissed if my notification comes 1 minute past 7pm. Today I was busy but usually around 7pm (Central European aka Simon's time) I check for a new BB video. Same time every release

You know it's an American military base when it has Taco Bell... the only McDonald's and Subway in Cuba are also at an American military base

@patg1875

3 жыл бұрын

KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, and Subway....even in Iraq and Afghanistan

@DrT0705

3 жыл бұрын

@@patg1875 I REALLY hope that staff working in fast food places in Iraq and Afghanistan are getting more than minimum wage!!

@megans6660

3 жыл бұрын

With what taco bell has done to me over the years I would not want to be anywhere near a military base where people are eating it 😑

@Galaar

3 жыл бұрын

Throw in an Anthony's Pizza and it's perfect.

The optimal state to be in while watching one of Simon's BB episodes... stoned to the max.

Love you work Simon. Keep the blaze going.

Is that an ETA I hear ? Is the almighty returning ? 😂

@thepresence365

3 жыл бұрын

To save us from the 5G

@gwilkinson736

3 жыл бұрын

@@thepresence365 eta will protect us all

When I think of Volkswagen, I don't think of sausages. Much like when I go to IKEA, I'm not thinking of Meatballs. But somehow both these companies have made a food project that works.

@LizRealGirlBeauty

3 жыл бұрын

And the ice cream, for $1 a cone it's wonderful.

Simon, how much caffeine did you have before shooting this video? Absolutely hilarious.

Hahaha love all your channels Simon ya trendy hipster but Business Blaze is definitely my favourite haha & God Dayamn! Where can I get that awesome Tee your wearing?? 😉

“Rotting Turtle, a fragrance for legends”

@AvoidTheCadaver

3 жыл бұрын

Rotting turtle, the latest of ETA's Pyramid schemes

@Ravenforce3

3 жыл бұрын

Rotting Turtle: it doesn't smell like rotten turtles. Allegedly.

Pantyhose are tights right? Aren't they cheap and dispoable anyway? At least the thin ones. I get runs in my tights all the time, and a pair is lucky to get a second or third use. (I usually stick to leggings instead, they last a lot longer.)

@OtakuUnitedStudio

3 жыл бұрын

I think most people outside of North America call them tights, but pantyhose are specifically the thin, sheet variety. Sometimes they last a few uses, but usually not.

@CrystalWilliamsBrownArt

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, it was driving me crazy that he kept calling pantyhose underwear. Most pantyhose is disposable.

@ItsAsparageese

3 жыл бұрын

In my area/vocab, tights and pantyhose are two different things. Pantyhose are generally skin toned or rarely black, and meant to be as sheer as possible and maybe not even noticeable, and yeah they're fragile but everyone I know treats them carefully for multiple uses. Tights are similar in shape, but slightly more durable, and can have all sorts of colors or patterns. Then leggings are still form fitting like tights but of course they aren't feety and are thicker and count as publicly acceptable clothes on their own (whereas tights, like pantyhose, are very much underwear meant to have at least a leotard or more clothing worn over them). And, for fun, in my exposure, "stockings" can refer to tights or pantyhose, or also to any long tight-fitting sock that reaches the knee or higher but doesn't have a waistband part and instead just stays in place or is clipped up with garters.

@CrystalWilliamsBrownArt

3 жыл бұрын

@@ItsAsparageese I've seen and owned plenty of black pantyhose. Some with nice patterns. It's thinner than tights but not necessarily meant to not be visible. I'm the type to rarely be bare legged. So I've had all sorts of pantyhose and tights.

@CrystalWilliamsBrownArt

3 жыл бұрын

@@ItsAsparageese I agree in general with your assessment but was pointing out some people have stylish pantyhose meant to be noticed. Like having a seam up the back of the legs, a diamond pattern, or houndstooth pattern (my personal favorite)

The thing u find entertaining about recently finding this channel is watching videos out of order and all over the place as they show up on my recommended list and just hearing something and not understanding, only to go watch a mother vid a few hours later that was posted like 7 months prior and just going “OOOOOOHHHH”

Simon; "do they have lots of guns or just bigger guns?" Texas; "why not both?"

Rotting Turtle, a new fragrance for BeardBlaze?

Simon is the kind of guy I'd want to have a beer with

@skyden24195

3 жыл бұрын

Make sure it's Guinness... Simon's favorite.

@nashbellow5430

3 жыл бұрын

@@skyden24195 no, heiniken

@skyden24195

3 жыл бұрын

@@nashbellow5430 😄 oh yeah... that too! 👍

@PaulMcElligott

3 жыл бұрын

Or the kind of guy I’d want to do coke with. Allegedly.

5 minutes in, damn the memes are on point in this one ! Good job Sam !! I'm laughing ! Almost fell out of my chair after Greta's "How dare you ?" XD

Simon, you legend! Love this channel, always entertaining

0:09 EYE!!! 👁️ 🤣😂🤣 🔥🔥🔥

If my wife doesn’t buy me a bottle of Rotting Turtle for my birthday, I’m never speaking to her again!

@slayingroosters4355

3 жыл бұрын

She might take you up on that 🤣

"How dare you" 😂🤣😂

You woke me up in the end lol

Rotting Turtle by Simon Whistler Come out of your shell 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🐢

"Texas has a lot of guns. Or is it Texas has bigger guns?" The correct answer is *Yes*

@skyden24195

3 жыл бұрын

A lot of bigger guns. ;-}

@SmellsLikeEMinor

3 жыл бұрын

Being from Texas, I can confirm both.

@jonathanwatson268

3 жыл бұрын

Came here to say this 😂

@HaroldKuilman

3 жыл бұрын

They have the most guns, the bigger guns, just the best guns, nowhere in the entire world there aren't such great guns as in Texas, they are just the absolute greatest guns

@skyden24195

3 жыл бұрын

@@HaroldKuilman guns. Texas. It's almost the same word.

Where is the “damn, Daniel” meme when Simon said “damn, Danny”?

Dog food combined with pot noodle is a Red Dwarf reference. I wish it was aired again somewhere, I loved that series

Haha that Greta clip made me spit my breakfast 🤣

I think this is literally my fave KZread channel. I started watching around the third or fourth vid. Simon, you knobhead.

@michaelpipkin9942

3 жыл бұрын

Nanny nanny boo boo, I watch more of his channels than you do.

@Ryan-fh6zm

3 жыл бұрын

There are few channels I'm so excited each time I get the notification there's a new video!

@piedpiper1172

3 жыл бұрын

@@michaelpipkin9942 If you watch more than this one, ofc you do. The rest are trash.

@B0risTheBlade

3 жыл бұрын

My name is Pavel Zavarzin. We have the same initials lol

24:10 same here, business daddy, same here 😂🔥🔥🔥

Another problem with those ice breaker packs is that xylitol is not just horrendously toxic to dogs (so there's way too much available in an easy way in that form) but also that more than a small amount of it, if you're not acclimated, will give you wicked gas and diarrhea. The stuff has some pretty cool antimicrobial properties though, good addition to mouthwash and nasal rinse!

20 minutes in, now I'm addicted to cigarettes

30 seconds in, Simon got into the Skittles this morning

Simon's next product: "beard smell fragrance, for him and her", available in musque or basic variants...