MADAME WEB IS SO BAD THEY TRIED TO DESTROY SYDNEY SWEENEY
Фильм және анимация
Madame Web is the greatest movie ever made... if you've had your brains sucked out through your butt by the aliens. In Madame Web, Dakota Johnson stars as Cassie Web. Sydney Sweeney is also in Madame Web somewhere, but the producers made sure they stuck her in the back. Madame Web is the worst comic book movie of all time.
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SYNOPSIS WEB
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Madame Web is a 2024 American superhero film based on Marvel Comics featuring the character of the same name. Produced by Columbia Pictures and Di Bonaventura Pictures in association with Marvel Entertainment and TSG Entertainment, and distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing, it is the fourth film in Sony's Spider-Man Universe (SSU). The film was directed by S. J. Clarkson from a screenplay she co-wrote with Claire Parker and the writing team of Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless. It stars Dakota Johnson in the title role, alongside Sydney Sweeney, Celeste O'Connor, Isabela Merced, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, and Adam Scott. In the film, Cassie Webb (Johnson) confronts her past while trying to save three young women and their futures from Ezekiel Sims (Rahim).
In 1973, a research team led by Ezekiel Sims and his pregnant partner Constance Webb discover an unidentified species of spider in the jungles of Peru with rare healing properties. Ezekiel betrays the team and claims the spider for himself before leaving Constance for dead. An indigenous tribe attempts to save Constance using the bite of the spider, but she dies shortly after giving birth to a girl whom she names Cassandra.
In 2003, Cassandra, going by "Cassie", lives alone in Queens, New York, working as a paramedic alongside her co-workers Benjamin "Ben" Parker and O'Neil. While working to save a driver from a car hanging off a bridge, Cassie falls into the water and has a near-death experience. Ben revives her but Cassie soon begins to suffer from what she initially dismisses as déjà vu, seeing events that have not yet happened, but slowly realizes that she can see into the future after failing to prevent O'Neil from dying on the job.
Ezekiel, who has gained the same power as Cassie along with enhanced physical abilities, collects information on three young women: Julia Cornwall, Anya Corazon, and Mattie Franklin; his visions lead him to believe that they are destined to kill him. Cassie is also drawn to the same women and intervenes to stop Ezekiel from ambushing them at Grand Central Station. She steals a taxi and takes Julia, Anya, and Mattie out of the city to hide them in a nearby forest. Cassie returns to her apartment and finds her late mother's notes which reveal Ezekiel's identity and the true nature of his powers. The girls disobey Cassie's instructions and go to a diner where Ezekiel finds the trio after they draw attention to themselves. Through her visions, Cassie determines that she can't beat Ezekiel physically and instead uses the taxi to ram him. She takes the girls back to Queens and persuades Ben to let them use his residence as a safehouse. Only time will tell if Ezekiel will find them.
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CAST WEB
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Dakota Johnson ... Cassandra "Cassie" Webb / Madame Web
Sydney Sweeney ... Julia Cornwall
Isabela Merced ... Anya Corazon
Celeste O'Connor ... Mattie Franklin
Tahar Rahim ... Ezekiel Sims
Mike Epps ... O'Neil
Emma Roberts ... Mary Parker
Adam Scott ... Ben Parker
Kerry Bishé ... Constance Webb
Zosia Mamet ... Girl Who Sits At Desk
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CHAPTER WEB
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0:00 - Intro web
0:49 - Dakota Johnson knew Madame Web was bad
1:37 - The dumb Peruvian prologue
2:29 - Peter Parker is a cultural appropriator
3:16 - Dakota Johnson, "Actress"
3:51 - Cassie the Meatwagoner (Pepsi)
4:20 - Mary's pregnant with Pepsi spiders
4:45 - Did you order a nosebleed with your Pepsi?
5:13 - The plot thickens like concrete in a Pepsi can
7:17 - Cassie Web, hero...from far away
8:36 - CPR you serious?
9:12 - The answer to the question never asked
10:34 - The line rewritten by and for bozos
11:38 - Mien plot, a simple solution to the Madame Web problem
12:12 - The lack of content in these characters
13:41 - Dakota Johnson, nepo baby
14:13 - So who do we blame?
15:45 - Super hero fatigue?
16:06 - Humble asks
16:28 - The joy of cola
Пікірлер: 85
"Her face is about as monotone as the lines she reads" DAYUM 🤣
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
LOL Thanks for watching
@AbbyGeffen
3 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina Of course!
I loved the part where Madame Web said: "Spiders are cruel, Thanos. And I'm very in touch with my inner spider." That was the best moment of my life!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Remember when she called out for Martha Web and Batman stomped her guts out before turning to the camera and say "that's what bats do to spiders"
@BIBuildy
3 ай бұрын
You're cracking me up man! Marthaaaaaaa! @@CopaExMachina
Man this sounds like a movie Martin Scorsese would love
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
You're going to make me Travis Bickle
@FlaccidPhoenix
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina Bickle’s Banter is livestreaming. You better be on.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
@@FlaccidPhoenix And it's an election year? Count me in
Morbius would be so proud of this films incompetence 👌
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Honestly, did you think it could get worse than a guy who morbs?
Stopped by for the clickbait thumb, stayed for your humor LOL
The way Madame Web effortlessly weaved her web of justice had me on the edge of my seat. Truly inspiring!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Dude it was hardcore when Madame Web webbed all over the place
@LordoftheBlingxX
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina When she webbed I webbed too!
awesome video my friend
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Thank you sir. I'll keep making them if you keep watching them.🙏
@Animeknight1992
4 ай бұрын
same goes to you :D all of you are my inspiration and i pass that positivy onto others incluidng you @@CopaExMachina
my favorite fun fact about the movie, the guy in the train was playing a PSP in 2003 but it wasn't created until 2004 but wasn't sold in the US until March 24, 2005!! he was from the future!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Mine was Toxic was playing on the radio a full year before it was released. They are all from the future! dun dun dun...
It is unfortunate you do not have more views and subscribers, however, *I* believe you make quality content. Carry on.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Thank you. Means a lot that you're here. I'll keep making them if you keep watching.
Your review is better than the movie itself BRAVO!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
You saw it too? LOL Quick question...how empty was your theater
If you do a good video about a bad movie do they cancel each other out? 🤔
"Having Morbius and Madame Web back-to-back in your credits should instantly blind people" 😂I can't stop laughing at this line of yours. Great breakdown of Madame Web. Thank you for saving me from my curiosity.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Thank you for watching.
This is the absolute best worst movie of 2024 and it only came out a month ago
Back to back. They did madame web, morbius, power rangers and gods of Egypt
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
The superfecta of cinematic awfulness
I don't know what is funnier, your breakdown, your chapter titles, or Madame Web itself...
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
I'm going to go with all three. Thank you for the kind words
@BasedUnionRep
3 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina LOL a man of culture I see
Peak Cinema and script writing. Your video was pretty good too Copa.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
I will never be able to compete with the greatness that is Madame Web
@CannoliSasquatch
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina That's unprecedented talent
😎👍
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
🤌
Panka One, Part Two... then Parka Two, Part One. I give up.
@CopaExMachina
3 ай бұрын
I might actually watch those lol
Great review. SO glad someone else recognises the absolute talent vaccum that is Dakota Johnson.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Have you seen a role Dakota Johnson played that was remotely close to being enjoyable?
@TwoTonePictures
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina No. In fact, only the opposite. I think she's a appaling actor/ Every line delivery is wooden, flat and dripping with self-consciousness.
I remember rumors that the plot of the movie Madame Web was going to protect Mary Parker played by Emma Roberts Spider-man mom from a villain before we found out it was Ezekiel who wants to kill spiderman mom before he's even born. Don't know that's ture or not but given sony track record is probably true. The spider girl's were probably wasn't even supposed to be in this movie. It does makes me wonder Emma Roberts was supposed to have a bigger role in this flim. But sony changed their mind and change the plot of the story so they can introduce the spider girl's. If that's the case then sony lied to Emma Roberts and maybe Adam Scott as well. Adam Scott was probably meant to be Richard Parker instead of Ben Parker.
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
That sounds at least better than what we got. What we got was borderline cult movie status.
@valentecarrillo4259
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina Sony probably wanted to make spin-offs out of these spider girl's characters into their own movies or series. And this is how sony would like to introduce them for the first time. But with the low box office and negative reviews it seems that won't be happening. Not a good debut for these characters to appear on the big screen for the first time.
Thank you for saying what everyone was thinks about Dakota Johnson
What's the silly TikTok video at 9:03 from? (Just curious.) Edit: Never mind. I found it. @jada.rounds, Bob The Dummy.
@CopaExMachina
3 ай бұрын
LOL yeah Jada Rounds. Why you wanna know so bad lol. SHE MINE!
"Circuit City" HA!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Only real ones go to Circuit City for their RGB cables
You might just be the best at this
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Damn man, thank you.
@MRodTheGreatest
4 ай бұрын
@@CopaExMachina 🤙🤙🤙
Comment
@Melvin-Deeply
4 ай бұрын
Car!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Yes, it is.
Firf 🎉
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Nailed it
😂😂
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Thank you Lovett for hanging out here😎
@LovettEverAfter
4 ай бұрын
Anytime I can. 😊
Absolutely the best review of one of the worst movies of all time!
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Thank you, I'll keep 'em coming
The marketing is better than the film
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
Especially with the guy arrested for Peewee Hermaning himself in the theater
P r o m o S M 😳
You really spent 16 minutes yapping only for 126 view... sad asf my guy if you didnt like the movie couldve just kept it to yourself
@booshmcfadden7638
4 ай бұрын
You need a hug?
@zaxx
4 ай бұрын
All comments help, cheers 🍻
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
But those 126 people LOVE me and you're one of them
@BIBuildy
3 ай бұрын
You're not the real Whil Wheaton! Boo!
jesus i feel like i could make a youtube video on how bad your movie recaps you say "im not making this up" like 40 times
@CopaExMachina
4 ай бұрын
As soon as you learn English I'll be able to decode what you said.