Even if it were true that I lack sexual desire because of trauma or abuse, being badgered and scolded into trying sex isn’t likely to help. In fact, it might reinforce the original trauma.

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. Coming at us from outside, with an aggressive NO YOU'RE WRONG AND YOU DO IN FACT NEED THIS attitude, is never ever going to result in us feeling like the other person has a point. It's all about them and their feelings, not actually about "helping" us. If they cared about helping us, they'd listen.

Unfair that people use you as a lightning rod for their hatred of others. Hope someday we can be seen as normal despite being rare.

People like sex so much that for a lot of people it's the most important thing in their life, they just can't imagine anyone not feeling the same. This makes me sad cos love is so often overlooked or mistaken for this desire, being ace i can see it easier i think but maybe allo people just don't get the distinction. I dunno i guess i just try to rationalise someones thinking as so many people i know just flat out don't get me not wanting sex an no amount of saying "well you don't want this thing so why can't i not want that" gets through to them. Maybe a few more very popular characters might give people more understanding. Anyway love this channel, was super exited to see a new video, they make me feel more normal.

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, a lot of people do try to say that whatever we have can't be love if it doesn't coincide with sexual desire. That sexual desire makes love deep and real and authentic, and everything else must be friendship. It's weird that they think they're the authorities on what can happen with our feelings. I don't know what will change that besides people knowing someone of that description in their real lives (that they respect). In media, you might see it sometimes but it'll be defined by absence and not seen for what it is. I post new videos here at least every month!

@cushmanarmitige2369

Жыл бұрын

@@swankivy Ye i wish people wouldn't generalise to their own experience, that would solve so many problems, i am guilty of this mistake from time to time but it seems some people do it more often than not. There are a lot more head cannon aces than canonical, some of which i think might be a bit of a stretch, still there are a couple things to latch on to, koisenu futari and bojack etc are admittedly not enough but at least they are there. I know its every month, been watching quite a while now, i just have a terrible concept of time lol.

You are awesome swankivy has that person never been stabbed how does he know he wouldn't enjoy it if he has neverit been stabbed you are a beautiful unique person you are awesome as you are i hate how people like him think every single person's 100% wants to have sex love you so much you are perfect as you are

At the current rate, it's only 6 more LtaA episodes until I'm eligible to retire from my job. This series has been going on for 14 years, which means it's almost half my tenure. Wow.

If you flip it around and suggest that gay people are "missing out" on straight sex, the implications become, disturbing.

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Yes. I still don't like to "reverse" situations into "what if you were gay though" anymore, but it is a useful parallel sometimes if the person's being a hypocrite.