Being a Demisexual myself, I can explain why this is a big thing. My first girlfriend was an Asexual, we were on the same level at start, all tough I had a libido, I did not want sex at start, get to say I love snuggling though. When I got sexual feelings for her, I found a part of myself I've never seen, I was actually hyper-sexual, it was like form 0 - 100 in a few seconds. (weeks) It did not work out, tried to find a way to remove my libido. I've had a girlfriend after that, had different sexual activities with her even before I felt anything sexual, felt useless. I past it and got hyper-sexual again. Then she cheated on me because I do not want to go all the way with intercourse yet, but that's all another story. When I fall in love, I do not experience it sexually, I think of it a lot, just because I do not know if girls can respect it or not. I can fantasize about people but when it gets physical, it's a different story. People really do not understand, even familymembers walk up to me and say: I belive you have instincts just as everybody else. They just laugh when I say I've never penetated my ex, all though I do not use that word. XD Well, that's my expirience.

I always have to wonder about these people who say that demisexuality is the norm. If it was, then one night stands/prostitution/casual sex/etc. wouldn't exist obviously. As a demisexual myself I can't emphasize enough how much this label helped me come to terms with my sexuality. For the longest time I didn't even know demisexuality existed and that surely had a negative influence on my relationships in the past. I had no idea how to put into words that I wasn't sexually attracted to a guy, even when he was good looking and I liked him (and he liked me). I was very confused and just backed off when a guy wanted to get intimate with me. I'm not looking for a relationship right now but I feel much more confident now that I know there is a word for my sexuality and the way I feel and that there are other people out there who feel the same way as me. So take that, Mr 'Why do you need a word for that' ;) Oh, and great video as always! :)

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+GirlintheSea That's true. Or, like, porn wouldn't be as common I think. Though you don't have to be sexually attracted to people to like or be turned on by porn. I just think that if everyone or just about everyone was only attracted to someone through knowing them really well and developing a bond with them, desiring sex from specific individuals you don't know would be strange, and no one would go to see movies because of being attracted to the actors. Thank you for the nice comment and I'm so glad you found a label that has helped you understand what you're feeling and that you're not alone!

@GirlintheSea

8 жыл бұрын

swankivy You're right! Yeah, I remember when 'Magic Mike' had just come out and some of my friends were talking about seeing it just because of Channing Tatum. And I was there thinking "Well, Channing Tatum is a good looking man but why would I wanna see a movie just because of him?". I mean, I can see why other people would want to but it still seems so strange to me. Thank you!

“Calling yourself Demisexual to divorce from normality and be special” If I was trying to “be special” I’d just claim I’m pansexual , because “I found that one girl cute” and don’t have anything against transgender, non-binary people etc I’d just lie about having certain mental illnesses, I’d just dress myself wildly and paint myself in neon colors... But I call myself a Demisexual, because the term has given me comfort, because it made me felt understood. I, for a long time, just thought I was straight (even though I found girls and boys to be equally pretty and had no sexual attraction to both but well...) and I was fine with that. I was glad to be an outside supporter of the LGBTQ+ community and other rights to fight for. But I also often felt something was off about me, not all the time, but in certain moments in my life or when I thought back to certain moments and at some point I had to admit to myself, that I have only been sexually attracted to someone once, and that was only a fictional character, (I read that happened to quite a few Demi’s) and only was romantically interested in someone twice (the fictional character and someone in real life). Last weekend I figured, I should look more into Demisexuality. Just a few weeks prior, I had read the term on tumblr and googled a brief summary, read it and thought “hm, that might be me” but back then it didn’t sink in yet. But after thinking about it again and again and noticing more and more that I really don’t seem to be able to find people sexually attractive (neither men, who I seem o be able to have a romantic attraction to though, nor women) I had to look into this and yeah... finally felt understood and comforted. In your essay you described our situation beautifully!! Although it may be that we have “less” or less violent and problematic oppression, we do also face little, but frequent problems in real life. It’s hard living in such a sexually driven world, when you can’t understand it. I mean, I AM interested in having sex some day and I’m not too uncomfortable with the topic in general (to a certain degree), but I don’t feel a need to please myself, watch porn (a definite no go for me) or to gush over “hot” people because I CAN’T “But you must like one of them!” One of my friends said when she asked me, which of the celebrities, painted on the wall in front of us, I would date. I repeatedly told her “I don’t know, I don’t want to date any of them, I don’t find any of them attractive!” But she just couldn’t or wouldn’t understand and I couldn’t explain why That just didn’t happen once and it won’t be the last time So, to the people who are against this term: What if you felt this way? Wouldn’t you like to know what you are experiencing? Wouldn’t you like to feel understood? What do you gain from denying people’s rights to be themselves and being able to identify themselves to know, that they aren’t just “picky” or have a broken sex drive. I’m not claiming to have a hard life by all means, I also don’t plan on “officially” coming out to my family, it’s not necessary to me, but you know: For my future partner it would be good to know why I don’t want a sexual relation with him in the beginning or don’t call him hot and for my friends it would be good to know, why I can’t find decide what celebrity to date. I personally think every label is important and valid, wether you like to call yourself that or not, because everyone has the right to feel understood and to feel included

@swankivy

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your thoughts! I very much agree with your commentary on why the word "demisexual" shouldn't upset people! Man, and they really love to assign US the "offended by everything" mantle, don't they? Not to mention, hey, if we were obsessed with finding some way to be special, why not just let us, and treat us like we're irrelevant if attention is what you think will satisfy us? Some people, I swear. It's disappointing and disheartening when people of marginalized orientations refuse to extend compassion to those who have been excluded, erased, and abused for the same and similar reasons as the ones behind their own negative experiences. So weird to think they imagine us so identical to being straight that heteronormative bullcrap can't possibly hurt us (even though it does). Nobody's trying to quantify it or say we have it worse. But it's indisputable that not being able to form the relationships many other people take for granted leaves many of us adrift as to how to form a stable and fulfilled adult life, and since we're often vulnerable as well, we're frequent targets of abuse and gaslighting, especially if we're living with another marginalized identity. It's a little maddening how some will be so sure their own suffering defines the concept of suffering to the point that mine can't count as suffering if it's not identical. Not to mention that equal or similar suffering isn't what defines someone as queer or justifies them wanting fellowship and camaraderie. It's just . . . pointless gatekeeping.

I heard multiple of the reasons why demisexuality and I thank you for putting thoughts into fluent words!

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Abbie Wells You're welcome!

Ah gawd. I hate the "label" argument. I will never understand why people are so offended when you have a word for yourself. They're not offended when you say you're doing a career. Nor if you label yourself as an A student. It strictly is because they don't know what it means or is. Because it's not "NORMAL" Why do people care so much about other peoples lives?

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+iiSnarkyShark Pretty much. They're just so ~concerned~ that we're blocking ourselves into a label, and really I think it just means they think it's not a final answer or it's a sad thing to be or a sign we've given up or whatever. And in general people who think labels aren't important are the people who have always felt represented with what words exist.

@americanliberal09

7 жыл бұрын

It's the same shit that agnostics have to put up with atheists, though. Dare you say that you're an 'agnostic', not an 'atheist'........and you're gonna pissed off a lot of atheists here on the internet.

You forgot the part where people actually call themselves demisexuals when they hear about it to feel special. This ruins it for the people who are actually demisexuals. There are people who call themselves demisexuals to be 'special snowflakes' but in reality they might just be virgins or just want attention. I have met with a lot of people like these who claimed to be one as soon as I explained what it is. It frustrates me because sometimes yeah, I might have told someone about it and they actually found something about themselves but others just want to be the new 'it' or whatever. Thank you for this video. I'm a demisexual myself and my friends know and I explained it to my mom without using the word. I'm thankful that they all understand. But ignorant people make me really really frustrated. I'm gonna use your points if I come across, and I will, next time.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Ruchira Naik Nah I didn't "forget" that part because I don't believe invalidating someone's labels and gatekeeping is worth doing. I don't think it's up to me--or to people who have identified as demisexual for longer than someone newly using the term--to decide that someone else "just wants attention" or "wants to feel special." I don't know what anyone gets out of telling someone their labels are fake, and I don't know where anyone gets the idea that any sexuality label is REALLY about trying to be cool or jump on the latest trend. The default should be to respect other people and use the labels they want us to. And while I understand that it is frustrating sometimes when people are fakers, I think it is FAR more important to avoid creating hostility when someone is trying to find themselves. YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION YOU LIAR is not something someone should have to deal with when they're trying to figure out who they are, even though sometimes they find out later that they're not asexual or demisexual or whatever term they're trying out. We are not the arbiters of whose identity labels are accurate. I don't know any reliable way to separate the "real" demisexual people from the "faker" demisexual people, but even if you could, I don't see what "real" demisexual people would gain from abusing people who are using their label, especially since I think "ughhhhh fakers trying to be cooool we had it before it was cooool" is a greatly exaggerated phenomenon. I would encourage other people in this community to adopt a policy of support when someone is figuring out who they are, and if you truly believe they are faking, just keep it to yourself and let them do their maturing thing. If they're such an obvious faker, they'll probably figure out that being demisexual sure as hell isn't considered "cool" by most of society, and if they're such a trend rider, they'll snap up the next sexuality label that seems edgy to them. However, LOTS of people who suspect they're not heterosexual experiment with several labels before figuring out what really fits them, and most of them do it during their teen and young adulthood years. Telling them they're doing it for attention is assuming the worst and making their sexuality about other people's perception of it. I can't even tell you how many times I've been accused of identifying as asexual "for attention" or "because I want to be cool/pure/interesting." And this is something I've been identifying as for more than half my life--more than twenty years and I'm STILL being told I'm probably full of crap. So I don't appreciate seeing so much focus in our community on dubbing some people less authentic than ourselves. In individual cases where their label really isn't accurate, they have to be the ones who figure that out for themselves, and us creating a hostile atmosphere around an orientation that they're not allowed to identify with unless they pass our arbitrary tests of authenticity seems pointless. Especially since if our community was the one trying to keep THEM out, I'd question which party was actually more focused on trying to be special.

Your point about communication and learning at 3:17 was the best part of this video. It would have made life so much easier for me if these discussions and terms had been around when I was growing up. Also, "special snowflake", too funny.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Davy Dave People who have never been without words to describe who they are will usually underestimate how important that is. They really don't understand what it's like to not have a name for your experience in a sea of people who are having a different one (and telling you you're weird if you don't).

I confess that when I read about Demisexuals I was a bit perplexed, since I mistook it for the old "having sex only when you are in love or in a deep affectionate relationship" desire. So I bravely proceeded to troll demisexual spaces saying that they have no right to a label because it's ridiculous and...lol, just kidding. I simply read more about demisexual attraction, and I realized that it was quite different from what I thought it was, and I learned that it is not the same experience at all. Does it hurt these people so much to learn about things before judging them? Also I find the argument that "everybody is like that!!!1111" to be hypocritical: do they really believe it? How do they justify porn or prostitution then? What about the success of movie stars? I don't really think that most people need to form a deep relationship with sexy actors in order to feel attracted to them. I know I don't, and neither do most people I know, even thought they might never having sex outside a romantic relationship. It's funny how people who accuse demis and aces to be " irrational special snowflakes" are the ones who didn't even spend 10 minutes reading about those they are railing against. Maybe they are too special to read some websites?

@swankivy

7 жыл бұрын

I missed this comment while replying to more recent ones and just wanted to come back to thank you for it! I loved the little fake-out at the beginning where you made it clear how absurd it is to troll demisexual people and spaces if you have a misunderstanding of their orientation. I wish people would default to learning more before asking aggressive questions or commenting with the intent to be dismissive. I think that since a lot of people (largely women) have high standards surrounding whether they have sex with a partner and they're not necessarily punished for having these standards, people will quickly jump to assume that consent to sex is what we're talking about here rather than, you know, actual attraction. There's a lot of conflation of that concept for aces who aren't demisexual too--that our orientation is actually about not having sex rather than not feeling attracted to others. Some people include their abstinence as part of their asexuality, but it is not that aspect of it that we're necessarily harassed for or misunderstood for. So yeah, "everybody is like that!" isn't even true (and yeah, porn and sex work probably would not exist if sexual attraction to strangers wasn't pretty normal). I've known some people who always identified as straight but didn't understand why some of their friends and colleagues would go gaga over "hot" actors, and later realized they were better described as demisexual. It put a lot of things into perspective for them, even if it didn't change anything practically. Their friends weren't making things up; their friends were describing a common experience; and they weren't "broken" for not feeling able to make it part of their lives.

I dislike the whole mentality that people create labels for themselves so that they can say they're oppressed, as if this whole thing is a contest to see which groups of people deserve to be understood better. One thing I dislike about society in general is that a lot of the conversations I hear from within the asexual community revolve around people trying to excuse the fact that they've been single their whole lives, by explaining their asexuality. Ideally, I don't think we would need an entire sexual orientation to excuse us from dating. Some people just don't want to date, or don't often find people they want to date, and somehow that's not enough for some people. I don't want us to need to say "I need a label for this so that people will accept my experience." No, I want people to accept other people's experiences whether they have a label or not. Especially because with all of the labels and categories we have surrounding asexuality, I'm still not sure where or how I fit into them. But I've never felt oppressed because of this. Thankfully, I've always been surrounded by people who listen to me and accept my experiences, and getting to know myself better is interesting and fun in this kind of environment.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Sylvia Odhner Yeah pretty much--I can't even count the number of times people have reacted to asexuality (especially with regards to inclusion in the queer umbrella) with "WTF ur not oppressed or special !!?!" Like . . . we can have that conversation about how oppression and discrimination and prejudice work into the asexual experience, but we really don't have to go there immediately as a knee-jerk reaction to wanting a word for our existence. I'm the same as you when it comes to not feeling oppressed particularly and growing up with a supportive atmosphere. But I don't think labels are doing more harm than good. I agree that in general we should accept what people say their experiences are regardless of whether anyone's invented a term for it, but words help tremendously for many folks. There are generally words for things that exist. Like "straight." Just because they have a word doesn't mean they're looking for special recognition; it's just that since their experience is a thing that happens, there's also a word to describe it. I think people can sometimes feel pressured to figure out their term, though, and to nail it down in the course of figuring out who they are. But searches for identity aren't going to go away if we downplay the need for labels. People new to a community and younger people in the middle of the first major identity search of their lives will be helped a lot if there are some terms and discussions around them for them to grab onto and learn.

@sylviaodhner

8 жыл бұрын

swankivy oh, I agree, I think labels are useful, I just wish we didn't have to use them as excuses for why we are the way we are. And learning about asexuality and all the terms it encompasses has given me a lot of perspective on myself that I wouldn't otherwise have. =)

@SkyePhoenix

6 жыл бұрын

Well said!

In response to Rainey J (whose comment is set to not allow responses): That's weird, because my experience is the opposite: EVERY ace I've talked to about this in spaces I've entered accepts that demisexuality is a natural inclusion for communities like ours. Maybe it's just because I mostly associate with activist communities in this context? Anyway, it doesn't have to be "baffling" for any of y'all if you think about it like this: If you understand what demisexuality is, you can imagine that their experience is very very much like an asexual person's experience. Especially if their experience of demisexuality leads them to experiencing attraction almost never. To paraphrase an article I read once, a demisexual person described it as "I've been attracted to three people in my entire life. My partner is attracted to that many people on particularly sexy bus rides." No, I don't believe the asexual community needs to be aggressively defended and isolated against other similar orientations. Especially since we hear that same argument from anti-asexual LGBTQ organizations who say we don't have anything imaginable in common with them that should justify our inclusion and therefore we should a) get our own and b) stop suggesting we have enough in common with them to stand under their umbrella since it's supposedly actively hurting them to be inclusive. The truth is, demisexual people have a lot in common with us and have every reason to want to discuss their experiences, share their resources (giving and receiving), and understand more about intimacy. You can certainly focus on your own experiences and create/participate in spaces for very narrow experiences of asexuality if you would like and if you need that for your own safety, but keep in mind they are not trying to take something away from you by stating that their experience is similar to yours in some ways. It is indeed different from yours in some ways, too. It's fine to acknowledge those differences. They're not trying to change anything about you by pointing out the ways they're the same. Imagine if you were a bisexual person who'd always thought you were straight. After a very long time experiencing only cross-sex attraction, one day you realize there's this other dimension to your attraction and you figure you could have something to gain and to give from the LGBTQ community, so you join--only to find that people there are all either lesbian or gay, and are angry that you've had a straight experience most of your life and they don't want to acknowledge the same-sex attraction you've had. You thought you were straight, you found out you weren't, but this group doesn't want to include you at all because for THEM, same-sex attraction is NOT paired with cross-sex attraction and they don't want you sharing space with them because of that difference. They're ignoring something about you that you thought was important enough to seek connection with a group because your experience includes something they've defined themselves as belonging to this group for lacking. That's what it's like for some demi people--they have a ton in common with the ace community, and while the differences are there, they apparently have felt that their experiences are different enough that they always thought something was off and were relieved to find that there was a word for it. They likely share the experience of being mocked for not thinking anyone was hot in the movies, or feeling like an alien because they can't answer "who do you think is hot?" or wondering if they can ever have a relationship because they don't desire their partner sexually, or not knowing what the fuss is about when everyone gets obsessed with sex. Many people who adopt that word have far more in common with aces than with the rest of the world, but if aces say "no, you're not one of us"--ignoring that demi people aren't wanted by the non-asexual world either--they do have no choice but to form their own groups. Those groups exist, just like ours do. But in the places they overlap--which are many--there should be umbrellas for us to stand under together. When the differences are emphasized, that's what the individual more specialized groups are for, just like some trans groups might want to have a group just for women and a group just for men and a group for nonbinary people, even though some groups support them all. Just depends on what everyone involved needs. I would never say to a demisexual person that I don't want their umbrella touching my umbrella. I see the places where they make sense together and my activism will always be inclusive of them.

@RaineyJAUS

8 жыл бұрын

+swankivy Dunno why my comment is set like that... Didn't know there was even an option for it! Anyway, I suppose I can see how our experiences would be different. The grand majority of aces I know no longer associate with the community due to negative experiences, mostly due to what I said in my comment. I had someone say they were upset that demisexuals were not acknowledging their privilege in the asexual community compared to aces. I'm for inclusion and that since yeah, they have some things in common. However, the aces I've spoken to were mostly concerned at the lack of acknowledgement that demisexuals have upon the community - not about why they were included exactly. They also left because they were afraid to ask about these things and get bullied. Considering the sudden influx of demisexuals to the community and that many of them have found out through tumblr which has some very extreme elements in concerns to how they teach others to bully people they don't agree with, I can see why they'd feel that way. From what I've listened to from these aces, I think that since asexuality still has awareness problems, there needs to be a lot of work done towards making distinctions in the community about each person's experiences. A lot of work also needs to be done in order to strike a balance and make sure that all people are still able to have their voices heard even if demisexuals make up the vocal majority of the community. (Sorry, meant vocal majority, didn't mean to forget a word there)

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Rainey J To tell you the truth, "demisexuals are damaging the asexual community and making us look less legitimate" sounds way too much like what some folks in the LGBTQ communities say to exclude and erase bisexual people. I don't know where this en masse exodus of asexual people from the community leaving because of aggressive demisexual overshadowing is happening, because your comment is the first instance I've ever heard of this, but an appropriate response in my opinion is to deal with problematic individuals in proportion to their violations, NOT put up an anti-demisexual wall around the asexual community. Basically, there are always going to be some jackasses in every community. Unfortunately, most of the time if I hear people talking about demisexuality negatively and suggesting they do not need or should not have support, it is because they don't believe demisexuality exists or doesn't need a name or is actually just "normal sexuality," and the people who say this generally disclose this opinion fairly early in the conversation, so I have no experience talking to someone who thinks demisexuality is a legitimate thing but also believes they have no business being in an umbrella asexual category or believes their inclusion hurts the asexual community. I don't believe hashing out a hierarchy of who's more privileged is useful in practice, either, though everyone in every situation does need to understand intersectional issues in these spaces. (A demisexual person may or may not "have privilege" over an asexual person, depending on what sorts of experiences they've had because of their orientation. I have been asked for help dozens of times by demisexual people who have experienced bullying and harassment that I have never had to deal with because all things considered I'm a fairly privileged person, despite being asexual and aromantic. I had the luxury of a supportive family, etc. I don't believe demisexuality and asexuality are such distinct categories that we can figure out privilege dynamics just based on that.) Demisexual people who are in a relationship, for instance, might just be assumed to be straight if their partner is a different sex, and that isn't different from if a romantic asexual person was in that same situation being assumed straight. I'm aromantic and don't have that privilege, though chances are anytime someone sees me with a man they assume I'm dating him. I don't believe my romantic orientation is an element I need to sort my community by in reference to who's more privileged than me. Similarly, I don't believe the stripe of ace-spectrum orientation needs to determine who belongs in the center and who belongs on the fringes, as if non-demi asexual people get to decide who's in the club. It's all of our space, though anyone who creates *individual* groups for support or resources is entitled to call the shots on who they support.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Rainey J (For the record, I just noticed you said demisexuals are "the majority of the community," and I have not seen that reflected in any of our census numbers--even if you combine them with graysexuals, that number wasn't close to being even with those who answered "asexual" on the latest census, so I don't know what numbers you're looking at. I'm also not on board with the stated-as-if-it's-fact bit you put in there about how Tumblr is extremist and teaches people to bully. It is not a hive mind and this is not an exclusive Tumblr attitude that is emboldening demisexuals against asexuals who are being silenced.)

@RaineyJAUS

8 жыл бұрын

Those that are leaving aren't exactly making a big show out of it, mostly because they're afraid of being bullied for it. I'm also in a different country, so perhaps aces from other countries are just intimidated by Americans, or they haven't had much support in their home countries to begin with that they feel a sense of defeat which isn't worth talking about. There's probably a few reasons. Besides that, it's not a hierarchy that's needed - it's an equal opportunity for everyone to talk. I've noticed the demisexual community has been very vocal due to their newness, which can be interpreted as yelling over the experiences of others. (Also, I said there's some very extreme elements on tumblr, not that it is as a whole. Though, I admit I am quite pissed off today after finding out about how a fanartist survived a suicide attempt after being bullied on there for months.)

@Chamelionroses

8 жыл бұрын

Some have prejudice, bigotry, and bias as even in the asexual spectrum. Humans... My gray asexuality is not a preference or choice.

Thank you, so so much. :)

Thank you so much for your support both in your video and in the comments! I figured out I was Bi first, but didn't have a term for my Demisexuality at that time. As soon as I learned the meaning it explained so much about past relationships and experiences. I hope one day we can all be free to express who we are.

You gotta love how whenever people want to criticise someone's identity they use the word "oppression", even though I'm pretty sure most asexuals and demisexuals don't call themselves "oppressed", since oppression and prejudice are not the same thing. This is exactly why I tend to label myself as asexual on the rare occasion that someone asks me, 'cause if I say I'm demisexual they're less likely to take me seriously.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Niobesnuppa That's right. And if someone wants to talk about it in depth, you can bring out the more specific words. I have notice the same nonsensical arguments against asexuality too--on account of our supposedly not being oppressed enough.

Thank you for these videos. I wouldn't be able to create such a video at this time. Thank you for making the facts and truth known.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Jennifer Isaacs So glad you felt it was valuable. :)

this video makes me so happy. :) im demisexual and grayaromantic.

Holla holla! It's Ace Awareness Week! ♥

I guess we should stop using labels like "straight" or "heterosexual" then. After all these are "normal" and we should only have labels for the abnormal.

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Susan Stanko Very good point! It's maddening how often people like this get irritated over the need for vocabulary.

I have quite a lot of ace friends I've made over the years and they seem rather baffled about how asexuality has changed to include demisexuality. Many of us have experienced ridicule from others due to its sudden association with asexuality, mostly stemming from the confusion it causes over what asexuality means (the inability to feel sexual attraction), as demisexuals are capable considering the circumstances. I've been told by other aces that it de-legitimises asexuality as a whole and considering demisexuals seem to be a bigger percentage than asexuals, they could easily have their own support networks that don't interfere with asexuals. I've also heard that many aces are upset because it makes them feel like they're being ignored in the ace community and broken all over again because even if it's difficult for someone that's demisexual, at least they can experience sexual attraction. I'm still unsure on my stance, but I can see how having to share the same spaces with demisexuals would hurt asexuals emotionally and mentally. I kind of feel like I agree with that sort of statement... Kind of. I mean, it took me more than 20 years to understand and come to terms with my own asexuality and that I'd never be able to feel sexual attraction to anybody. So having to share the "asexual umbrella" with someone who has the chance to feel something I've yearned for my entire life, does seems quite cruel to me. I don't know if there's been any kind of acknowledgement from the demisexual community about what their presence is potentially having upon the asexual community, but I think perhaps there should be a conversation on it. EDIT: Perhaps there should be a greater effort for distinction between asexual and demisexual experiences in order not to have people confused by definitions. So long as people find it confusing, they won't want to try and understand it. Allowing an equal opportunity for all ace experiences to be talked about rather than prioritise one over another is needed too.

Sorry to be so off topic but where did you get that awesome Steven Universe shirt? :D

@swankivy

8 жыл бұрын

+Pika Piko Haha ummm Redbubble. :D By gabbydesigns. www.redbubble.com/people/gabbydesigns/works/13676166-crystal-gem-door?grid_pos=1&p=t-shirt

What does Aromantic mean? Is it the absence of romantic attraction?

@swankivy

6 жыл бұрын

Jennifer Hendrix Yep, that's pretty much it. Aromantic people don't feel romantically attracted to anyone. They might have other kinds of attraction and/or want relationships that aren't based on romantic attraction, but that's the central aspect of it, yes!

@SkyePhoenix

6 жыл бұрын

swankivy: I think I experience romantic attraction, but not sexual attraction unless I have bonded with someone. I define myself as demisexual. How do you define romantic attraction? Is it like having a platonic crush on someone? That would be my definition, btw.

I think cupiosexual refers to someone who wants a sexual relationship even though they don't experience sexual attraction.

Holy crap I loved that essay... I’m developing sexual attraction towards it lol XD