you're still doing these! I used to watch your videos years ago. I'm now binge watching all of them

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Once a month, generally, usually toward the end of the month! Glad you've enjoyed them for all this time :)

Odd request.. but could you do an updated singing of Winds Nocturne from Lunar Silver Star Story? Like, a karaoke?? 😁

i marvel at your patience conversing with these people, too. Fair play :D

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Thanks. I wouldn't say I have less patience now but I don't entertain their nonsense as often or for as long anymore. Maybe because once I've already had a conversation about it and can use it as a teaching tool, there isn't much argument for continuing to listen to each dorkass who gets in line to spray ignorance from their firehose.

It's somewhat fascinating to me that there is an unspecified number of people who are unable to grasp the difference between sexual attraction and a sexual act (or even sexual attraction and libido), or are unwilling to think about it long enough to try to understand. I feel like it should not be that difficult to understand the basics of it as long as someone is open to our explanations, but that seems too much to ask for in situations like this one. It's a shame; a different perspective on topics like this can only help people understand themselves better and taking a step or two back to view their experiences through a different lens would in no way hurt them. I don't really get why these people are so unable to understand that experiences that are different from theirs exist and are no less real.

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

It does seem bizarre that I could tell this person in no uncertain terms MORE THAN ONCE that asexuality and celibacy aren't synonyms, but they were SO MARRIED to the idea that asexual people "want to be special" that they couldn't accept it. That said, logic didn't seem to be their strong point, considering I denied Jesus was a good role model to explain asexuality and they reacted like I had insulted Jesus or his believers. But when you remember that people like this come to people like us to tell us what we should be thinking and are NOT actually there to listen, it isn't that surprising anymore when they just don't.

Why can't they see it has a different name cos it's a different thing? How can such things not enter someones head before they comment on it? This is the kind of thing that just makes me so exhausted by people. I am guilty of having misconceptions about asexuality, that's why it took me so long to realise what i was but i was not telling others what to call themselves as i knew i had not looked into it, also that's just not the way to behave... You would think anyway, apparently not.

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Exactly--if you KNOW you've done no research about it, then you should be prepared to accept that someone with both lived experience and copious researched materials should be in a position to teach you. But instead, if you're ACTUALLY coming to the conversation to spray your ignorance all over others in the hopes that you can either change their opinions into yours (without listening to what their position is) or simply drown them and shut them up, it isn't that surprising that incorporating the other person's perspective doesn't even occur to them. They probably did understand that things that are different have different terms, but were arguing that asexuality doesn't deserve a word since surely it's just about us neeeeeeeeeding to be special. Talk about needing to be special--you need to wade into a community you aren't part of and don't understand to get inappropriately invested in how we should describe ourselves? Talk about egotistic.

@cushmanarmitige2369

Жыл бұрын

@@swankivy Ye i do wonder about the people who say you just want to be special, like what's special about having a name for a thing you are? It has to be projection a lot of the time, maybe the terms they use to describe themselves make them feel special so they put that motivation onto others. Otherwise i can't think why a term to describe your experience would make you feel special in any way, makes no sense to me.

OK so as a Christian aro/ace person, you know I had to weigh in on this one. While I truly believe that Jesus walked the earth as an asexual person (the alternative being that he related to women of his day on a very base, demeaning level) I also believe that he was sent by God the Father to achieve certain goals. Just as the Father decided to send his son to Earth and not his daughter, just as He decided to have him raised by a Jewish family and not a pagan family or a Muslim family, He also decided that his son would be Asexual. (I believe God determined I would be asexual too but that's beside the point.) While Christians should all aspire to be like Jesus I'm sure the commenter is not suggesting that every person should be asexual. A better example from the Bible of asexuality is the Apostle Paul. I can submit Biblical evidence that Paul was ace (his awkward dating advice in 1 Cor. 7) but I think we'd all be better served by looking to more contemporary examples, because we know more fully how these folks lived their lives in the modern world. There is a lot these people said and did that aren't recorded in religious texts. Whether those texts are meaningful to all people concerned ... we'll just save those conversations for another day. ;-)

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Yes, well said! I think we can agree that everything attributed to Jesus is different from how people who are not Jesus are supposed to be, and that whatever elements of asexuality he possesses, they're not comparable to what humans on Earth should be expected to aspire to. Whatever aspects of sexuality he did not have, it's implied to be a side effect of his being sinless, which humans are not. (I don't connect sexuality with sin but that's secondary.) I agree that contemporary examples make more sense, and I think it's at best inaccurate, at worst dangerous to imply that asexuality necessarily manifests as part of a holy state. (I think it's pretty clear that the commenter was fixated on this considering how they refused to stop conceiving asexuality as a synonym for celibacy.) I'm actually really well acquainted with the example of Paul! In the book I wrote about asexuality in 2014, there's a section about various religious perspectives on asexuality, and I gave examples of Paul's perspective as evidence that the Bible supports asexuality as valid.

3:28 Asexuals are virgins?? So according to this guy's logic. Heterosexual, and homosexual virgins don't really exist. 😆

@swankivy

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, that's what I'm saying too. Apparently you just have no sexual orientation at all until you have sex with someone, and then the gender of the person you had sex with defines your orientation forever. I'm 100% certain that this person identified as straight before they had sex for the first time, though, and would have thought it was weird that anyone assumes them otherwise. (Of course, this is what happens when people like them expect straight to function as the default and everything else has to require action.)