You know what truly feels amazing? Finding and listening to people online like yourself who completely understand the bullshit l go through.

@rheahoover7004

Жыл бұрын

I know I've been going through it. I'm almost convinced that most men are narcissist.

@rainbows.and.butterflies

Жыл бұрын

I’m trying to break free. I cry a lot. It’s like I don’t want to believe it’s true.

@mariann3885

Жыл бұрын

@@rainbows.and.butterflies PLEASE RETURN YOUR LOVING BACK TO YOU🌈🌻💜

@RT-nv4pn

Жыл бұрын

@@rheahoover7004 me too

That they only sleep with you occasionally to keep you in the subjugated state is a pretty sobering thought.

This is 100% facts. The narc didn’t give anything to the table but great sex. Absolute trash. Everything makes sense now. Thank you so much for helping us victims heal!

@Zepster77

2 жыл бұрын

Consider yourself lucky! You at least got the great sex!!

@RT-nv4pn

Жыл бұрын

Woo

@lorettascott5477

11 ай бұрын

Same here 😮

@bullyhunter7685

8 ай бұрын

Yah my exgf didn't even have a job anymore half-way during the relationship the most I ever got from her was 300$ that I gave back after I got paid just slept or on the computer all day

"Sex is the only thing they bring to the table" I've often thought that.

@latinaalma1947

3 жыл бұрын

Sometimes not even that, sometimes they just want mothering!

@ellenaeller3373

3 жыл бұрын

They don't like sex that much, they need a place to stay too. They are the ones that come for the weekend and never want to leave.

@suzannemitchell560

3 жыл бұрын

The last time my narc tried to Hoover for me he promised hours and days of continuous sex And that I wouldn’t even be able to sleep, and would I like that I had never heard him talk like that… These people are textbook.

@ellenaeller3373

3 жыл бұрын

@@suzannemitchell560 I had that too. "This time it will be better" They are all the same

@sixthsenseamelia4695

3 жыл бұрын

The table isn't a very hygenic place to be having sex..... 😉

They just only care about what floats their boat. They play mind games with anyone that will play. Only way to win is to not play. These people are looking for attention.

@mammadingo9165

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks well put

@paulbaker4109

Жыл бұрын

So true mate! Great words...

I’m so grateful I can watch this video in a full place of peace and forgiveness. I have gone through the full spectrum of what you discuss in your videos and now I just see him as a really broken human being. He was the greatest teacher I have ever had in order to face attachment abandonment inner child wound issues that has led to a very healthy relationship. Healing is real! You will be happy again trust me!

@anoushkamarcin

3 жыл бұрын

I am so pleased that the video has validated and brought more clarity. This is a truly inspiring comment to everyone. And it is totally true healing is real and you CAN recover. When we understand we can heal 🤍

@sactownsluckylady

3 жыл бұрын

@@anoushkamarcin Your work is amazing and you are changing and transforming lives!

@rickysomething3786

3 жыл бұрын

Jessica, you are absolutely right...at first it's very ugly and painful (the betrayal in my case)...but time heals everything...my kids smile more now...I'm in a better place now...let time and God be your friend.

@ailenefisher8068

3 жыл бұрын

You’re expressing a page out of my book! Happy New Year, never give up, & peace and joy to you!

@danex2206

3 жыл бұрын

We'll all be able to heal. Things will be better!

Awesome video. 18 months clear, from a 20 year marriage to the worst human being I've ever met. Met the love of my life 10 months ago. Never felt better, never been happier. Accept it, and your 90% on your way. Much love and respect everyone.

@devintompkins9626

2 жыл бұрын

So you found a guy 8 months after your break up from a 20yr marriage isn't alarming? Hmm some self reflection may do wonders.

@ninath13

Жыл бұрын

God bless me too going all the way up....

@RedFlagCoalition

Жыл бұрын

Or maybe you found another narc

@jackjack4412

Жыл бұрын

​@@devintompkins9626totally agree

@SenSakura-dj6bq

4 ай бұрын

​@@devintompkins9626 not just a guy, but "the love of her life". Sounds unlikely and pathological, but who knows.

This is true. Narcissist are clever, sneaky. They give gifts, they don't give themselves

@jazminolivari5554

2 жыл бұрын

I agree 💯

You nailed the sex act is a pain reliever for the Narc , and for the empath the high and lows makes us want it but not because it’s so good , it’s because it bring a pain reliever to Our trauma bond.

Very helpful: intensity does not equal intimacy

@CarolDudeck-bl7kz

3 жыл бұрын

GROSSE!🤢

@KC-wi5vq

3 жыл бұрын

Amen

This is all spot on. My sons mother was like a drug to me. Now I know the truth. A dopamine high from a narcissist to a codependent is powerful.

@fringbabyross4718

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I went through the therapy and a couple hospital stays myself. I’ve done a lot to heal from this. It was the most life changing event I’ve ever experienced.

Mind blown!! I don’t know how I let someone do this to me! I have a psychology degree for goodness sakes!

@judiezell4306

3 жыл бұрын

@Janice White Absolutely correct! They are EXTREMELY jealous of your accomplishments! (1) They are either JEALOUS of you! (2) They want to BECOME you! Or (3) They HATE themselves and are EXTREMELY miserable people! Both of my Exes were and eventually admitted to me! WOW! Strange, Sick and Evil People! I've got 3 Nursing Degrees and I should have seen them coming but even though I have forgiven them, they still come around (I HATE IT!) Hang tight! KARMA TIME! LOL!🤔🤷🤦😅💓

@Gellybeanb1974

Жыл бұрын

If I had know that he was faking love* I would of left in m younger years. But I had never heard of this. My whole life now feels wasted & has left me broken* God Bless You* I hope you find real happiness

@jackjack4412

Жыл бұрын

​@@judiezell4306and what conclusions of yourself have you discovered through this experience?

I agree, 100 percent correct. The sex was off the chart with my wife. But no empathy at all. When I first met her before I knew anything about Narcissism, I would always tell her I wished she loved me like I love her. Now I know that is impossible for her. So sad! Love is the best thing in a relationship!

You think you’re close to them then you discover you’re not and you’re heartbroken

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I m single 👧👧😍😍❤❤🌷

@lukekotecki2725

Жыл бұрын

short and sweet....and so true

This is one of the best talks I have heard on this topic of intimacy - trauma bond. Thanks a lot. :)

@bluesnap40

3 жыл бұрын

Indeed Sir

@nellsmith9721

3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree ThAnkyou so much this is a brilliant video

@jmschroeder5302

3 жыл бұрын

I wholeheartedly agree!

Cannot connect, cannot do intimacy. Yes, that is it. Goal posts regarding intimacy keep being moved. At first you assume you will get there in the end until you realise how empty a Narc is.

You have just pushed me further along the path of recovery from over 16 years of mind numbing torture from a Narssistic wife that used sex for everything. But not for me the last 4 years of marriage. I realized then that was all she had to offer from the start. Thank you.

You are right intensity is not intimacy... I connected with my ex narcissist as if it was love, once I cut the supply off and I got over my sex addiction, I realized that I was addicted to the intensity... True intimacy includes real love and respect, so since the narcissist has no real loyalty, the sex will never be true intimacy and love... I went through everything that you explained and it is so sad that when some victims go no contact, victims may realize that you had nothing with the narcissist but sex.. The only way the narcissist kept me around was the sex... The narcissist was so emotionally corrupted and mean spirited what else did I have to hang on to, he was so self centered and deeply unhappy inside...

@paulbaker4109

Жыл бұрын

So true...your words sounds like they have come out of my mouth

"Because they bring nothing else to the table."......no kidding.

So the whole life with them is a big lie!

@abdulc5726

3 жыл бұрын

Well if they were deceiving, lieing and cheating then I'd assume so yeah

@mdmmalou

3 жыл бұрын

@@abdulc5726 🙂🤣

@missta1820

3 жыл бұрын

Yes that's how it is..... just full of lies. Narcs are not normal people and never will be. Don't waste your precious time with one.

@suzismith9681

3 жыл бұрын

Sure is all smoke and mirrors. Keep you guessing, burns you out. If you want to waste your life, stay, loose yourself, your health, become what they want

@divagranny0

3 жыл бұрын

Yes it is. Big lie that we must realize. A lesson turns too a blessing. Now we know after their evil behavior.

KNOCKED IT OUT OF PARK. 2020 video of year for me!

This was literally best video...it made me answer the question if it was love or lust, and it definitely wasn’t love...she didn’t offer anything else and all the signs were there

OMG this is so true! My narc used sex as a tool to control.. There was always something very odd and confusing about sexual intimacy and this answers many questions.. Thanks Anoushka..

@nomizlee8561

Жыл бұрын

And she a woman 🤦🏾‍♂️20 plus years!!! I’m glad I’m alive and well. Jeesh 🙏🏾❤️yourself

Wow the Somatic Narcissist.... that's exactly who I was dealing with. He sexually and financially exploited me. I'm devastated

Most of them are one trick ponies. The narcs I have encountered are usually physically attractive and that's what they use to ensnare you. Sex is a powerful weapon in skilled hands and it can become like a drug. I certainly became addicted to her. Looking back now my narc had next to nothing to offer other than good looks. She wasn't a great conversationalist and didn't have much interest in anything that didn't involve her. The only thing that commanded her constant attention was her phone, and it took me some considerable time to work out why this was the case. Judging by what I have learned about narcissism I don't think my experience of that particular phenomenon is in the slightest bit unique!

@jnever9768

Жыл бұрын

my life to a T

@elevationmedia3002

Жыл бұрын

Yes I support this perspective - good looks physical charm Sex on their terms and a cute charming young daughter also used as a prop in the Narc scam game. Spot on

@joycefiore2721

4 ай бұрын

How are you doing now? I'm 11 days free from denon dave. I feel the same as you . he's really a handsome devil..wolf in sheeps clothing! It was a 16 month shituationship.

I told my Ex Narc that he believes that Sex and Love are the same thing! Only to the Narcissist! Thanks for the information!😇🙏💓

I was friends with mine for 3 years, when I got sick of his BS and went NC. He comes around with this insane explanation that he always wanted to have sex with me WTH? He actually tried to use sex to get me addicted to him! Thank God, even tho I was super attracted to him, I was smart enough to realize he was just trying to use me so he could throw me away! This helped me tremendously watching your video! I’m so happy I didn’t cave and never will!😊

He was my only for 35 years. The 1st and only...eww and ugh! Alotta soul searchin to do!

@91GT347

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. Only 25 years though. Sad, shes been with more people while we were married than I still have in my whole life. Still been the only, and honestly, probably the last. That was my last stage. Deal with it or never get laid again. Lol Probably a good thing for me is my only fear. Extreme sports, grab snapping turtles out of water you cant see in. Snakes, spiders, even death. My one thing is VD. Lol Im not sure why. Stigma maybe. I did get her to admit not using protection. That was the straw that broke the camels back. So to speak. I told her we should write a book. Name it “The Virgin and the Whore.” That didnt go over too well. I was lmao while getting cussed out. Lol

WOW THIS IS SO TRUE AND I KNEW IT !!! I ASKED THE GOOD LORD TO BREAK ALL EVIL NARCISSISTIC SOUL TIES FOR US ALL IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME !!🙏🙏🙏😔 AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK NO CONTACT IT WILL KILL THEM!!😃😄💪💪💪💪💪💪

I watched 1000 videos about narcissism. None helped me as much as this one. I'm struggling to stay no contact right now, but it pulls me back abnormally. True, sex is the thing that pulls back, but I didn't even comprehend. In my case, she had an amazing body, which is even harder to process now. Thank you very much for this video.

I figured it out. It’s not a relationship. A relationship goes two ways. It’s sex. I was the the pleaser, she was the receiver and hardly reciprocated. But It I get you!

This is the best best best talk about the reality of narcissistic relationships I’ve ever heard in three years of studying why my 13 years of marriage is falling about and sucking the life out of me!

This video really hit the nail on the head just remembered he used to call sex hammertime as a joke . U really helped me understand the addiction to him and its all true what u said thanks for helping me understand . Ive watched hundreds of videos on the subject trying to heal but this was by far the best explanation

@kimgordon3695

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry for the devalued decades. Return to VALUE 💝

Outstanding job, never heard it put so plainly so beautifully.After 36 years of marriage I see it clearly.Where my loneliness came from.It’s not about love it’s about PAIN!! Contact me anytime,I have 36years of story’s.

these people can be very dangerous to empaths..I am a survivor and one of the lucky ones who survived it.

Genius description. So very hard to put into words but you did it perfectly. We can never move on in a healthy fashion until we digest this. Thank you so much for what you do and the sincerity in which you relay this information.

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Hi 😍😍❤❤

This is very insightful material. Thank you for helping me recognize how the sex kick started that pattern of "filling in the blanks" emotionally and mentally in the relationship -- the foundation of all of the rationalizing and excuses that must spool out to keep the relationship going.

Wow, nobody has said that so clearly what I’ve felt and thought. In the end I felt that love and pain had become the same, and sex was relief from the pain

This is why I want to be celibate, all I will bring to the table is my trauma and disregulation, lumerence, and all those other good things that come with CPTSD. When I am healed is when I will be ready. Thank you for this video it really opened up my heart to heal.

This was exceptional. Thank-you. What you say here is 100% the truth and I have just be coming to this entire revelation.

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Hi 😍😍❤❤👄💏💋🌷

At last I’m understanding it !!!! No more lies & future faking for this lady... ThAnkyou ♥️♥️

Months?? If your lucky! Let’s talk about years and years because they will continue to come back again and again. This is a fantastic video! Completely on point, that every victim, Of a somatic narcissist, needs to watch!! Maybe the best video at explaining the cycle of abuse through sex and trauma bonding. Thank you so much!!! What a wonderful dissection of what really happens.

@deb2319

Жыл бұрын

Can't leave the door open ..not even a crack.

@alice-hp7dh

Жыл бұрын

Does he came back even when he told you that Is finished, you are his past and he Is in train to change and then disappear? He never told me that before. He Is used to just went silent for days and then come back. Not this time.

yes, this intensity has been so strong in the beginning, but in the end as well, 'cause betrayal and disrespect has been as intense as I've never felt from anyone, any time before.

This was profound truth, no nonsense, informative, touched on every aspect of my sexual addiction....he knows he's losing me...had been withdrawn then called me to initiate a sex episode. I know now that I can escape. I did think he was the greatest lover of all time. I'm not crying anymore at least. I'm healing.

This is exactly my life spot on, it's their way of control. Brilliant helps me keep moving forward, got my life back.

Great content and hit the bullseye. Thank you for sharing and posting. The N is a hollow shell with nothing inside and a sad existence of a life. There is no soul either. All lies! Great video!

Omg!!! I taught I was Crazy 😜 !!!! You’re so Right!!!!

Thank you for this video this must be why it's like dead toxic withdrawal and pain leaving I lived it thank God I'm over it healing Happy New Year lovely lady

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Hi ❤❤

Yes I am suffering so badly after this type of (can’t call it a relationship cause he wouldn’t use labels) for 3 years and he did everything to me. I finally walked away but I’m suffering greatly. The sex was addictive but was all we had really. Worst “relationship”ever

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Hi ❤❤😍

I can’t tell you how much I needed to hear this! Such good info..intensity doesn’t equal love and intimacy. Brilliant. Addiction to pain relief 🙏🏽

It's not always amazing. Can be mechanical due to the person wanting to be in control

@floret.mkinksskin495

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly, it not always

@danielaspitz3052

3 жыл бұрын

It was horror with my narc ex, I've always had good sex before. Even worse: i blamed myself for it. My menopause, psychological issues, the whole list. Which is weird because I have been depressed all my life and suffered from Fibromyalgia for 16 years, but I've always had really very good sex. With him, it was horror and I blamed myself. Ridiculous!

@tigerlily6298

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly! Totally mechanical! I may as well been a blow up doll

it checks all the boxes for me - the dream that turns into a nightmare in reality!.... - good work - thanks

Ha my therapist says I have built up resentment, 48 yrs trauma bonded, I was so young when I got caught up in his web

This is phenomenal. It’s a keeper. Sending gratitude🙌🏾

It always baffles me that I never slept with him. I couldn't relax and always bailed. He used a lot of lying and manipulation to keep me around because I wouldn't sleep with him

@markmero1516

Жыл бұрын

High praise to you, you are a lot smarter and much stronger than you can fathom! Good for you and stay strong, keep being you 👍🏻

Really eye opening, thank you. My narc stopped having sex with me when he was ready to discard me. He was already cheating on me

@emmaharper860

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly 💯

@Gellybeanb1974

Жыл бұрын

Mine did this too& I am having a hard time realizing this. I hope your now happy & found peace & love.

@jijilynnituma7122

Жыл бұрын

Mine has always many supplies hes always in dating sites Im in Philippines he has lots of money and he can buy lots of women in small amount of money

Wow thank you!!

Thank you so much!!!

Brilliant video,thank you!!

Outstanding summary, many thanks!!

This really helped me understand my relationship with my ex narcissist and why getting over her has been so hard. It’s trauma.

Thank you ! Thank you! I must say I haven't always liked what you had to say but when you're ready to learn, so to speak, the teacher appears. I identified with everything you said. I agree with all of it. Set free by the resonating message of it. I understand everything you say and it comes at a time where I'm actually breaking Free from a narcissistic relationship. 4 years in this topsy - turvy toxic treadmill this has had me on my knees more than once. Not being able to figure out how a personal like me, lol, can be dooped by a "slime ball" like that.. News flash! I was perfect for him! I am vulnerable, with huge bandonment issues stemming from adoption to date rape and finally , thinking a man's love is the only thing that would set me Free . Only love, of this sort, could make me whole and complete. The Narc, catches on quickly to what behaviors to mirror to get maximum results. And here, I thought I was so smart and calculating. I allowed him have the perfect environment for my demise My ultimate demise, by my being so forthcoming, so quickly,b about my shortcomings or defects of character. However it's also been the catalyst to begin my recovery and God has been with me the whole time and he has opened my eyes to see exactly what the truth is thank you again, message of the story is , for me, is God, my God, my understanding of God which is Jesus Christ can rescue me from my false beliefs my selfish endeavors masqueraded as selfless and truly set me free so I want to thank you again l this is a pivotal moment from in my life and that will never be replaced

@kelliebeathe-kloiber4372

2 жыл бұрын

PS sorry about typos . I was moving at a such a fast pace, to share this "moment of clarity" , that grammatical structure and punctuation kind of got thrown out of the equation !!

Great clarification thank you ❤️

Omg! RIGHT ON! So precise

Absolutely correct and this is what happened to me exactly ..I thought no one will understand that but that was always in my mind and I couldn't say it .. thank you so much ..I do agree with you 100% thank you again

I did this, I was trauma bonded but I woke up to the realization that he is a narcissist and I healed and left.

Fantastic video. Such truth! 😳

You’re amazing.

Thank u for this clip.keep helping people.

Absolutely amazing video !

Thank you for this explanation.

Excellent video Anoushka!

Bingo! You confirmed all of my thoughts.

One of the best, if not oddest places to find amazing peeps; a narc recovery chat. I like em so much im part of two ;). Peace and blessings

Gosh, this is a great video. Thank you so much

Brilliant, thank-you.

This is so so true.!!! Especially the part about when you start pulling away!

Great to have found you today. You spelled it out so well.

Truly the best video on this subject. Thank you

YIKES!!! Thankyou I really needed to face this 🙌

It's great that I don't even miss his touch.

Amazing insight!!

This video explains exactly what I experienced in my marriage.. unbelievable this is what has made the trauma bond I am now into.. So sad to discover but many many thanks to make this clear to me!

Best video yes you answered many questions, u opened my eyes to the whole relationship I was in. Thank you very much❤

I’m so glad I found your channel. I’ve watched many videos about narcissists and I really like the way you explain things. Thank you.

Thanks for your awsome video. God be with us as always!

This has got to be one of your best videos. Thanks so much for doing it! It has helped me so much by putting into words what was wrong & how to fix it. It explains so much. Thanks again

Very helpfull,thank you for making me feel normal.

Always brilliant and beautiful… I love watching this amazing lady. ❤️

Makes sense that sex is a just manipulation tool for the narc. At the end, when I found evidence of one of the affairs, it was a toiletry bag with his and her stuff in it and also viagra. The pills were almost the most shocking part because he had always been so proud of his “unnatural” performance that was supposedly a testament of his love and desire for me. It turns out he had been on them throughout our whole 10 year relationship.

Best insight ever!!!

Needed to hear that for reinforcement ❤️

This is one of the most helpful points for most of my clients. Thank you very much. Intensity does not equal intimacy and love. The hope for some pain relief keeps supplier's stay addicted.

Thanks so much for this. I am dealing w the discard end of a narcissistic relationship - I rejected the hoover and am moving on. Your videos have greatly helped cement my understanding of all the dynamics involved. 🙏🏼

Thank you very very very very much Anoshka ... Got protect you🌺🌺🌺🌺🌷🌷🌷

Awesome insight Anoushka! This unhealthy intermittent intimacy, and even worse, the anticipation of this intimacy was what kept me coming back to two different NPD women. No exaggeration, being a firefighter was far less stressful than these relationships!

Ok. Thanks for making me understand that it is a pain relief to me. And lies and false beliefs that bind it together. Got it. Wow. Great learning from you. Didn't know all this. Thanks, again.

Wow, you are 100% correct! Thanks for such information!!

Wow the more I watch this type of videos, helps me a lot , I see exactly what she is talking about thank you!

brilliant. BRILLIANT!