I was stuck in the past for years My big question was why ? Why would my family do this Now I don't care why ..I moved on

@petsNbeads

3 жыл бұрын

Because you were a scapegoat. Search youtube for NARCISSIST FAMILY CULT. Best to you!

@dnk4559

2 жыл бұрын

This gives me hope!

Until I knew that my ex was a narcissist and I was experiencing CPTSD I was unable to move forward. I feel like I've lost 18 years of my life. Michelle, your videos right now are what I'm going through. It's so crazy...

@markoservices9122

3 жыл бұрын

Me too, i waa told you don't know what you don't know, Now i know , and accept it, and keard hiw to fix , learn and grow, . In thi video helps to realize

@vhayashi7369

3 жыл бұрын

I feel exactly the same 💜

@PiscesinVa

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. 27 years lost

@tonypontious2589

3 жыл бұрын

Ditto 46 years Or if you count the childhood trauma Im 67

@nancyb8847

3 жыл бұрын

@@tonypontious2589 I’m so sorry 😞

1. If you were involved with a narcissistic, you lived in cognitive dissonance- two opposing thoughts that don’t connect.. mind gets stuck in a loop trying to make sense of these thoughts. It’s a result of this sick behaviour as nothing making sense.. no logic is applied and this carried on in the brain bc it hasn’t learned to work through cognitive dissonance and if not, you’ll get stuck watching vids trying to get answers. 2. Emotional flashbacks... very common as you don’t realise you’ve had one or having one.. you’re responding to a trigger.. left brain short circuits and your right side of the brain can confuse past and present, emotionally reacting to a past event(s) in the present.(unhealed triggers) 3. Neurological factors involved with narcissistic abuse keeping you addicted.... cycle of abuse getting hits when love bombed and even watching too many narcissistic vids years later 4. You know you’ve been abused and no one in your family supports you.. scapegoated all the time and you’re not allowed to have your own perspective of not being believed, hence wanting to continually explain yourself but you’re always rejected 5. Narcissistic abuse causes a limbic system loop.. thought patterns from the past are ingrained into us .. it’s natural to feel these patterns of negative thinking and focus on the past.. pathway to the thoughts are so ingrained 6. Pre frontal cortex is affected and hasn’t been utilised die to chronic stress keeping you stuck 8m your amygdala. We have to have clear critical thinking and set goals to be motivated bit our brains are stuck in the weak area of the brain that we haven’t exercised life without narcissistic abuse Hope everyone is ok xxx

@panda1488

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time to do this, I was just thinking damn I wish I had taken notes! Hope you're okay too x

@camilabomfim2234

Жыл бұрын

Ty!!!

Learning to live in the present moment, the past and future dont exist, only this present moment exists🙏

@cherylbglover

3 жыл бұрын

Perfect

@allywolf9182

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, tomorrow is real and when i wake up in the morning i will be in it

@southernbawselady7092

3 жыл бұрын

I've learned that tomorrow doesn't exist... It will always be "today"... Ex: Tomorrow is Friday, but when Friday comes, we call it "today",.. Today is Friday.. Living in the "now" is all we have. Let's keep growing in our enlightenment journey! 🙏💚💛💜

@Princess0ftheLight

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, perfectly said. Michelle recommend a book on this channel a while back and it’s really good. It’s by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. I listened to the audiobook and it was really helpful in learning to live in the present and not the past(depression) or future(anxiety).

@MindBodyStorm

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

Life is an openness , death is a closure. Keep your heart open ! Have a lovely day everyone ❤️☺️

This happened to me yesterday. I was watching a video and felt feelings of panic and could not understand the reason. That relationship was over decades ago.

@AmberAmber

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry for your pain💔... (It's happening to me right now, so I came to the comments to distance myself). XOXO HUGS

"Emotional triggers" A therapist told me simply "feelings have memories". Simple right?? Hmmm

@HaleyMary

3 жыл бұрын

I have emotional flashbacks and get triggered without warning sometimes. It happened three years ago when I was out at an open mic night and a guy said something to me and maybe he meant it as a joke, I don't know, but the words triggered me and reminded me of a time when I got sexual comments on my youtube videos and even though those youtube comments were from 2008, I was still triggered and I had a freeze response and no-one could understand what was happening. It made me feel very alone.

@markoservices9122

3 жыл бұрын

Humm , triggers are feelings have memories, sometimes they blind side us

My family was hit hard by cancer. Lost my parents, my grandparents, uncle and cousins. It’s taken me a decade to come to terms with that loss. I understand the feeling of being stuck in the past. I’ve been single my whole life and I’m okay with that. I feel I would have never made a good spouse had I felt the need to be married. I’m thankful that I took the time to come to terms with the losses in my life. Everyone must come to terms with their own tragedies the best way they can. My advice for everyone is to be kind to yourself.

Uh, I don’t think I’ll ever be in a relationship again. Even years later I still feel this way.

@squarehammer4619

3 жыл бұрын

Me too

We get stuck in the past, because we haven t found interesting activities in the present, and the chemical of our brain are still all over our body from so much abuse... Once these adrenaline, cortisone etc is regulated... We start to find ourselves back! And naturally we want to engage in something fun, or little by little we want to even get up from bed... And do our bed... And enjoy it, or do the laundry and enjoy it... Important is to understand that all these confusion will go... However, if regresion to the past come... Just let it be, not all regresion to the past is a flashback, you can easily tranform a flashback into a positive regresion experience.. In Energy Medicine we call it 'close a circle properly'... It s very often so, that after trauma, yet you still didn t accomplish something from that time... Just relax, watch it with clear head, if possible and move on... Important is not to feel toxic guilt if you have a flashback... If you are in a safe environment now, your new reality will help you also to simply feel the present... Forgive yourself and give yourself time, as... Believe me... You are a super hero, survivor of a horrendous war... Simply see say:fabulous! And if possible move on... Also important is not get in contact with more negative people or situations in the new environment... Don t feel a coward for running away from these predators... On the contrary, you have all to lose and they all to gain... Simply pamper you, give you love and tenderness and trust the proccess... It helps me to take long bath in salt water, as these helps to remove all these toxines from the body... Better a natural one, or scented with natural oils, and green juices along the day... And don t force yourself to nothing, it will be coming naturally... All the best! 👍❤️

@xenatron9056

3 жыл бұрын

Wow Lesley, such a great comment. There is a lot of good information in it. Thankyou.

Thank you! I've been doing the work & trying to focus on self love getting this weight off that I gained from emotional eating during & after being with my ex narc ... I don't watch videos as much because i used to be obsessed ( now weightloss journey videos) but there's not a day that goes by the narc doesn't pop in my head even years later & I couldn't understand it til i found out about CPTSD. Just glad to know I'm not CRAZY or listen to anyone who hasn't been through it only say YOU'VE GOTTA LET THAT GO!! Like it's that simple

I had been doing good. I ran into my ex and just hearing his voice brought me into a tail spin for a month! 😢

Thank you so much this gives clarification for a lot of the reaction of traumas in my life...

Beautiful strong michelle...close your eyes for a moment and just breathe...inhale all the strength..power and courage you need to heal..now exhale all the pains frustrations and sorrows that weigh so heavy in your heart...look to the stars tonight most beautiful flower....they shine for you

I was in a 27 year relationship with a bipolar partner/wife. It made for a hard 27 years. And I am finding it hard to move on, finding it hard to connect with anyone else or start a relationship with some one new. I feel there is some kinda emotional block. And I don't know how to get past it and move on with someone new.

@therivercake871

3 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry you went through this :(

@nancyb8847

3 жыл бұрын

So sorry Ricky. Know that you aren’t alone. Seeing a future with someone after that feels and seems hopeless. Your soul needs time to heal. Be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself. ❤️

@allywolf9182

3 жыл бұрын

Ricky- Big Hugs!! 💜💜💜💜💜

@luciatrino6007

3 жыл бұрын

That's a lonnnng relationship and might take a long time to recover. Im on year 3 of recovery.

@Hooch737

3 жыл бұрын

Ricky hang in there bro you can do it. Remember when you were little and friends first told you of no Santa? For a few years you stuck to the story cuz you soooo wanted to? When you can break that, that is the beginning. Toughest thing I’ve been through in my life. It’s a journey. I’m praying for you.

I love your commitment to evolving. I have also experienced through no fault of their own, a person, a place or an activity while in the "midst of chaos" are better off left out of the new life of creating new good memories over powering the past bad ones. The Beatles. " Get back to where you once belonged. Get back Jojo"

Having had narc parents and partners, the latest being my kids dad, who keeps on being nasty, I'm pretty happy being on my own, and I just want to move. Hopin he obey turn my kids to narcs

thanks michele

I’ve been in the cycle for 11 years. And It’s so hard to stay away. Probably one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life

Hi Michelle, I just wanted to drop you a quick comment to let you know how grateful and thankful I am for all your videos. I have been listening to / watching them for years. I've never commented because I'm so flat out, and usually listening to them as I'm driving. I can't begin to describe how much you've helped me. Thank you SO much. ❤🙏

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for taking the time to write this - I am soooo glad my videos have been helpful!!!!! Hugs =D

Thank you again Michelle. You are right on the money with this. Seeking to understand fraud and deceit, for an honest person, is a mind trap. And YT constantly recommending more vids on this doesn't help either.

You are my past ,present and future inspiration As long as you keep showing up as Michele and not Mike or Uncle Michele Otherwise,don’t even try to stop me from watching your videos Thank you very much

The more truths I hear about me. The worse I feel

@AmberAmber

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so so sorry 💔💔💔 I subbed to you, cos I'm trying to be a better cook. 🫂🫂🫂🫂💞

@cherylbglover

3 жыл бұрын

I did as well. You've videos look great. I also agreed with your sta5

@AmberAmber

3 жыл бұрын

@@cherylbglover You've succeeded in making my otherwise difficult day SO much brighter - & TY For agreeing, etc. You've given me renewed faith in fellow humans, & I'm feeling really lucky & honoured✊🏾✊🖤🤎💕

"A word dropped careless on a page may stimulate the eye- Folded in perpetual seam the wrinkled maker lie- Infection in the sentence breeds, we may inhale despair- At distances of centuries from the malaria-" Emily Dickinson

when i've realized i had cptsd was a game changer. I still struggling a lot. But just knowing i was involved with narcs, understanding why, do my best to understand why i cattracted such people in my life and accept the ptsd and trying to accept the time i've lost (15 years) helped me lots. It is hard not to think at the past as after so much time lost you don't have the same chances and it feels like you are a "new person". You have to relearn so many things about yourself and about how to deal with people. Narcissist are really really dangerous people. It's unreal there's no focus socially on such problem

Sometimes narcissist gets what they want and have you stuck where you shouldn't be to the place where there is no return, nobody is talking about this, I am not in prison but my place is like a prison, I can't do anything about that, and that is why I have limited ways to live, I am so sad for those who got here, take care

@milkandblue

3 жыл бұрын

I feel the same 💗

I am stuck at this stage right now... thanks Michele for your videos

Thanks for validating so much that I've been learning about myself! A big trigger is others not believing me about how my parents try to manipulate and minimize me. I think I may be feeling worse because I'm not looking for that occasional approval and I'm not getting the relief part of the abuse cycle that would give me an endorphin rush at least some of the time. I have also been recognizing that I am constantly explaining, in my head, all my thoughts, feelings and actions. I am constantly, in my head, preparing for altercations with people who may question me. I struggle with letting go of this the most. I also have just figured out that I have so many people rooting against me. All those people that betrayed me I know are trying to smear me and both of my parents say they support me, but have proven otherwise and like it when I fail so that they can save me.

@panda1488

3 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness I have also been explaining myself a lot in my head and constantly preparing myself for altercations with people! Thank you for sharing, I hope things get better for you. At the very least just know that you're not alone

@debbiehowes

2 жыл бұрын

Learning to care about ourselves & what matters to us & forget about what others think. They’ve not walked in my shoes. I needed to hear this Michele. Thank you

@goldieh7121

2 жыл бұрын

@@panda1488 Just saw this. All the best to you also!

@goldieh7121

2 жыл бұрын

@@debbiehowes I think this was meant for the main comments. But, I always appreciate reminders of putting myself above what others think.

WoW ! You accurately describe my last 3 years of mental and emotional hell from a Narc. Trama that I got 50 years ago from my narc. woman. Thank you.

This is one of your best!

Keep up with this momentum and doing what you love doing in helping others heal, Michelle... ✌🏽💯

Wow!! What a tearful eye opener!!!

There is sooo much insight here, Michelle ❤️🙏 thank you for a few lifeline reminders

That makes sense , you weren't repeating yourself ❤️ thank you for your guidance always .

The word 'horror' is pertinent here. Having two narcs working their double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble in syncronicity with each other, one overt the other covert...I didn't even pinpoint the younger one till too late. I always knew she was a very very hard worker, I only just realised that hard-working trait was put towards getting me well & truly trapped & mangled beneath the sweet facade which fooled me partly because I was always rebounding from the attacks of elder witch. Two permanently stuck 2yr olds continuously working the evil...

Wow...the depth of your words are profound...really well explained, thank you...the release of stress hormones and the long term negative effects on the body from being stuck in those parts of the brain is quantifiable in anyone who has stayed in a relationship with a narcissist....Bravo Michele...incredible video

Super THUMBS UP!! Stacey Vornbrock and her EFT method addresses the addiction aspect of emotions and the chemicals they produce in the body. It’s wonderful to hear Michele mention this aspect too. Michele, your videos get better and better. THANK YOU 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thank you FOR ALL YOU DO!!!

I totally had this happen recently, and after watching this video I think I have realized what happened, thank you! 😊

Thank you for this .. really need it

Your the best! Thanks for the great info

This was one of your best videos

So true your a genius!! Thank you 🙏

Excellent video. Thanks.

wow...2 years ago I started to spring clean my home; NOW 2021 these swords that heavily rain between the space of my ears is frkn overwhelming because i entrap myself as I struggle to spring clean and unhoard my home. This is unbearable head space pain and I am enjoying learning about your valueable info. Lots of thanks there sister :)

I just love your hair! Beautiful! When I was young I had long hair.

@petsNbeads

3 жыл бұрын

🤣

So helpful.

lovely michele appreciate what you doing for helping me so i need dark side understanding psychology deception for defense mechanism

These videos helped me to get free from my wife and getting me and my life back. The games these people play with you are so destructive and to anyone experiencing this get out as quick as you can for your sake, don't believe there lies when they beg you and cry just get out.

Thank You for your insight 🌸💗🌺

It seems that the cognitive dissonance was one of those things destroying me and one of the things keeping me going by thinking I had a good family and mother. My mother is still bad but now I know she hates me. I'm still in shock. I don't feel better.

@MsShutterbug777

3 жыл бұрын

Me too. Just numb from living in a perpetual state of shock.

@southernbawselady7092

3 жыл бұрын

Matthew 10:36..."Your worst enemies will be members of your own family"... Sad, but true!

You are so helpful thank you thank you

Your good your real good Ms. Michele you hit the nail on the head with this one. I have been in a state of confusion from being stuck in the past started 9 years ago from a relationship of 12 years and one before that 20 years after the 12 years then I stumbled into two narcissists relationships one lasted a year and then right after my mother died I had been taking care of for three years died, it couldn't have been worse timing for me to have another terrible relationship this one lasted 3 1/2 years. So I'm in a state of WHY ME, and I have given up on ever getting back to who I was, I don't know who I was there is no happiness to be found. Now I judge every woman as if they are going to be like these women were to me starting back in 1979 going on till today. And what is strange is I want to give a good woman a chance I end up with known bad women but really that is all that is left at my age they have been picked over have been scared for life from some man doing her wrong and now she is after every man to do wrong to them. Most of the women over 40 that had a divorce have a big chip on their shoulders are a couple of monkeys on their back and men too This is the main reason and with those narcissists and the other long relationships that was 32 years of my life and for what I have nothing no partner to count on are anyone to do for are please. Stuck in a world of WHY ME from the bad relationships in my life instead of looking for a better life.

Good video & I'm 70 & still affected.

Thanks! I'm stuck, but planning and executing my escape.

370-1. You crushed it!

This hit home for me hard, as im sure it did for many others

Thank you

New studies show that all the body's cell have memory. WOW... So put emotional and mental triggers with that... 😳 Yup

Yes Michele, Cognitive dissonance...he loves me 🙂 he loves me not 🙃 he loves me, he loves me not 🤪

How do you work through the cognitive dissonance? At least I believe that this is what I have along with CPTSD. I was bullied as a kid in elementary school, and especially during high school. I never had many friends or girlfriends. I have been told countless times by my wife and my sister to stop living in the past. The pastOne of my girlfriends betrayed me with someone I thought was my friend. I ended up marrying a woman who at first was great, but the last 15 years have been bad: constant insults and name calling, yelling, making me feel guilty when I do something that makes me feel good, etc. I had thought of leaving back in 2019 when I started being infatuated by another woman and that my relationship would likely never get better; I ended up staying having made a decision to try and make things work. I found out in May of 2020 that my wife of 22 years had been having an affair with a coworker for several months. At first she denied it, but when I showed her the undeniable evidence, she admitted to it. The messages were very clear to me that she was considering leaving me to be with the other guy, who she still works with. However, she decided that she wanted to give us another shot. After a couple of months I realized that only I seemed to be making an effort to mend things, that I was always the one to initiate any form of intimacy, etc. Now I am stuck, and have been for 5 months now, between staying and leaving. Something prevents me from making a decision. My wife doesn’t know what she wants, and neither do I. To me she never showed proper remorse for what she did and doesn’t understand why I cannot just get over what happened and move forward. She doesn’t seems to understand how angry I am at how she treated me and how she betrayed me. She just wants things to go to how they were. Part of her explanation as to why she had the affair was that she was unable to deal with my depression....so it’s my fault she had an affair. Like wtf? So many times I thought of just giving up, but I could never do that to my kids or my parents and siblings.

Literally no one in my family supports it

Once you accept your losses life is far more easy to move on.

Total years about 36 years from a marriage and divorce then another boy friend girlfriend I’m done!!! About 4 years ago I had googled and started to learn what was happening!! As far as I’m concerned I will not get into another relationship

Things and people who been acting a fool towards me for 14 years keep including me in some of the most inhumane monitoring and surveillance. Can't move forward in any area of life with people you dont want hanging on to you just to cause you problems.

Cognitive Dissonance. As I’ve been on this journey of healing my CPTSD I have such big revelations like I did listening to this video….”that’s me….that explains everything!” It’s so empowering in the moment but I wondered if anyone else experiences this- You have these enlightening/empowering moments of self discovery and you feel energized and hopeful that you can heal and yet that feeling disappears after a day or less and you’re back in that old program/old loop. How do fix that? How do we overcome that?

Thank you. All your videos are so very helpful. I have to say how I love your eyebrows! And your hair is a great colour! Did you get extensions? I'm making lots of changes to my appearance, it feels like a deep response to the inner changes taking place. I recently dyed my hair red again, but wishing I had changed to a funky silver now. Maybe that's an even deeper acceptance of myself and recovery, not giving a shit whether other people like it or not.

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad my videos have been helpful =) And thank you for your kind words - so no extensions for me. My hair just finally grew out!! I agree - the best shade would be the one that YOU love, not anyone else!!!!

Exactly that I was writing in my journal this morning. Why the hell am I so stuck in the past - when I am actually incredibly happy with my life right now? Why the hell do I still have conversations with those ghastly narcissists who were in my life?

What are the steps to healing???

@haitham5084

3 жыл бұрын

act like michele observe don't absorb notice don't react radically present practice remember me🙂

i feel like one day im not thinking of the past then next day i. back in the love bombing past. then makes me fight against my no contact boundries

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). UR FUTURE NEEDS EU UR PAST DOESN'T

You must learn to live in the present life this is why we have a rear view mirror don't look back look forward then you must learn to let go of the past.

It hurts.

Yep 11 years still there

Thank you so much for a very clear explanation on this subject, do you think that the narcissist has this same problem after decades of time (being stuck in the past)as well, or is it just us their victims who have the flashbacks ? I have often wondered about that ??

I’m stuck in c-PTSD and religious trauma

How can I change the loop?

The body remembers.

I am pretty sure if you are from NYC we are cousins...

they lack moral integrity. they say X and do Y. I find my only strength to deal with them is to strengthen, my moral integrity.

The description box never shows ‘down below’. How can I get this much needed counseling?

My reason that I’m stuck on the past is over my relationship me and my partner are still together but I’m stuck on the things she’s done in the past I love her right now and she loves me but i don’t know what to do I have all her past in my head and I feel like it’s ruining the relationship sometimes I just wanna cut her off but at the same time I love her and idk of Ima find anyone like her again

I got mental illness trying to figure out exactly what’s wrong I’m in the past if someone says something to me it’s like I can experience them saying it to me 10 years later oh and I sleep a lot and say things I don’t really mean

Can you recommend healing videos you have to take the place of ones about narc?

@southernbawselady7092

3 жыл бұрын

@RE Cindy These were helpful to me... Richard Grannon Mooji Sadhguru

Your link to mykajabi does not work

I have a friend with PTSD

Do narcissist go through the same flashbacks and feelings that we experienced?

What about people who are still living with these scapegoaters? And yes, I know, move asap. It will take time and a lot of work and in the meantime . . . . .

how to heal inner wounds?

Id like to add I was skeptical he was a narc but soon realized he did every single thing that the criteria explains!!! Used me discarded me for sex love time status even my money!!!

What is the coupon code for 15% off when joining.

How do I move to Mexico from canada

I guess I’m not the narcissistic bc these videos make me physically sick. But I live in w a narc mother an I need validation some way but I feel so freaking drained & hurt after I watch a few of these videos. I guess I need to find some healing.

Hi when is it time to stop watching narcissist videos? I have just started moving on from overview of narcissist, the patterns, the no contact videos. Then I watched a lot of moving on or letting the narc go. Now I’m on to C-PTSD videos and how to focus on yourself. It’s been about 3-4 months of watching many many videos. Should I stop or is it okay to learn how to get unstuck?

@melanienicole553

2 жыл бұрын

Backstory: i was in a 5.5 year relationship from 18-24. I moved out the day after my 24th birthday. I was hovered back in (I didn’t know who or what I was dealing with and thought he was my soulmate and to try again) a month later. We “dated” for another 1.5 years. During that time he had another girl who he didn’t really like. It was fine since we decided to keep it open and casual and not rush back into the living/serious relationship. April 2021 he told me he saw us getting back together exclusively, getting married, etc. 2 weeks later he called med before work to tell me he met someone that was so special who made him feel so special. Then I was ghosted. I found out a bit about narcissistic patterns and people in June 2021.

@melanienicole553

2 жыл бұрын

But I didn’t learn my lesson. I left a form of communication unblocked and He started reaching out July- September about 2x a month. I was Hovered back 3 weeks ago. I saw him. He bashed the “special” woman he told me about in April. He told me no one could compare to me blah blah. We hung out for a week. Then I told him no one night and he lost it. I found out he never broke up with this woman. Found out who she is and was shown her IG page (she’s 22, I’m 25, he’s 27). She looks like me when I was younger. It’s mind boggling. Before you knew it she and I were messaging and I was pulled into drama. Back to Feeling low and used again and like I wasn’t good enough. Except this time, I know I AM good enough. I wasn’t sad and devastated, I was furious and finally had the bail lifted that this is a nightmare and not normal and not love. He does use women and is already in a disaster relationship with the 22 year old only 4-5 months in. I blocked on everything. I will not believe his lies of love or longing for me. I am never going to be used or suckered back into a triangulation.

❤🕊

R you saying I addictive to narcissist videos

😪😢😥

Healing after narcissistic abuse seems impossible because of the all the areas in your life where you have to work on and improve

@FromSurvivingToThriving

3 жыл бұрын

It does take effort - this is true. But the alternative is to stay stuck in the side effects of the emotional trauma - and who wants that ?!?!? It may be challenging but.... it's not impossible =)

@MM-nt3nm

3 жыл бұрын

@@FromSurvivingToThriving thank you Michele I learned so much from you. I finely left my narcissistic husband after 30 years of marriage

Can anyone imagine having her as a life partner! She'd be ab,able, to tell ya what was going on inside without saying a word! The guy shes married to would have to be pretty special to handle this stuff. Maybe she leaves it at the office, NOT!

❤️❤️❤️👀