A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the truth

@mitra3021

3 жыл бұрын

Truth bomb

@getthekool1758

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly the same with the mafia inside the government!

@lettherebejames

3 жыл бұрын

I think a narcissist also likes to fill the space with lies so that the truth cannot get out. You can't tell the truth to a narcissist or those around them because they're already so filled with mistruths.

@johnpaul2285

3 жыл бұрын

Demons will flee from Jesus Christ.

@warrior8511

3 жыл бұрын

wow..WOW wow

Ooof. Avoiding the other person’s anger. Their anger is scary. Nice reminder that no matter what I do, they’re going to be angry anyways.

I will not be condemned for having feelings and opinions and fears. I will not be erased. Thank you for validating my autonomy!

This is exactly what happened to me. When I started doing things I liked to do again and I found out who I really was, I was able to walk away. Almost 6 years narc free!

@lioydwilliams1850

3 жыл бұрын

Michele Goode,I admire your lovely smile

@michelegoode6605

3 жыл бұрын

I was married 31 years. He told so many lies when I finally ended it and still does, but I figure the people that believe them don’t know me anyway. I love my life now!

"Treat yourself like a friend!"

The longer you stay in a relationship with a narcissist that chooses to verbally and mentally abuse you, you relate to this video 100%. I exited a year ago but I’m still in therapy. My narcissist hoovered me then found a new supply. I was still degraded, verbally abused and smeared even after his new relationship. I went no contact for my sake. You start believing all the negative things they told you and it’s hard to get back to who you were. They have stripped you of everything. They are the epitome of evil.

@janhall2983

3 жыл бұрын

I totally agree. Can a child grow up and become a Narcissist, thru learned behavior? Or, can one have a tendency to become a narcissist thru genetics (only)?, or (both). However, as the child gets older, you can see the child; he, or she, acting like the parent who is a narcissist, thru learned behavior, or per determined, by blood? I know "learned behavior", is strong. But the narcissist, is so good at manipulation, that they can turn a family member, or a child against the other family member, even, Doctor's, or Judges, or manipulate so the other parent, "looks", to be at fault. Even friendships can be destroyed. Can anyone answer these question, please? Thank you.

@ingridstowers7378

3 жыл бұрын

Mona Lisa..so so TRUE

@jennyl7422

3 жыл бұрын

@@janhall2983 well from what I know is that because of the abuse you adopt some of the same behaviours in order to protect yourself.. and I've heard many people say the narc behaviour is like having fleas, it is a bit contagious.. so you might use some of the tactics.. but in the end, some of these behaviours can make you feel bad so you might stop in using them.. For instance, I was very jealous/obsessive/controlling in my first relationship but after it ended I realized it was a bad trait so I told myself if I get a new relationship I will treat that person better than I did with my ex.. (and that's how I eventually got sucked into a narcissistic relationship...) but if a person doesnt feel the need to change or feel bad about treating people like shit it might be a narcissist..

@jeremysims1597

Жыл бұрын

@monalisa_1346 I wish the you best, take your needed time and also pay attention to the hoovering nature, don’t freak out but it wouldn’t be a surprise if he had ppl following you trying to sabotage you, stay calm logical and strong you’ll be alright

If you are going to start saying "no" to a narc you live or boss you work with on a regular basis make sure you have an exit plan on the go because there will be unpleasant consequences.

I have been divorced for over 8 years and I am still trying to find myself. I never knew how much control I had given up over the 17 years that I was married. All the problems that existed in our marriage I was convinced I was the problem. Following the divorce I was so screwed up, I found it hard to even function. Only recently have I discovered that I'm not a bad person. Sadly, she managed to turn my children against me. Meanwhile, she has moved on like I never existed. I have a ways to go, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Thank you for your videos!

@naveedrehman2987

3 жыл бұрын

I didn’t have kids with my ex but I can empathize with you. The same happened to me she moved on as if I never existed. I think what hurts more than anything is knowing you gave 100% of the real you while they took you for granted. In return they gave 100% of the person they pretended to be.

@seifsoliman6741

3 жыл бұрын

Same has happened with me William. Literally the same, but only one year ago. After 13 years of marriage. That is really so scary.

Being married to an EXTREMELY pathologically narcissistic woman for 31 years, it was hard to believe what I went through after I realized what I had unknowingly dealt with for more than three decades. I was told when to get up in the morning, when to sleep, what route to take to work, how to brush my teeth, when to make coffee, what to wear, and on, and on, and on. I lived on pins and needles for the whole time. Now, she has poisoned our only kid to hate me. The kid (now adult) hasn’t spoken to me in almost five years. So complete peace gets kicked down the road until the day I can speak to my kid.

@michaelmallal9101

3 жыл бұрын

Hope things get better.

@davidslocum9536

3 жыл бұрын

So sorry you are going through this. You are not alone, I hope you know that. Get yourself support from people/ or a counselor who REALLY understand NPD. I know it's painful BUT, you can still have peace in the midst of the storm. I have a son who will not have anything to do with me. My kids were my whole life. I still hope and pray his heart will change but in the meantime, I have decided to be at peace and enjoy my life anyhow. Hoping you give yourself permission to have peace and joy in your life.

@warrior8511

3 жыл бұрын

I hear you.. such mind f $$key .my ex narc felt his need to monitor everything like you. when to sleep eat what to do.. at one point he revealed that it's good to see me either working or crying. peroid.. I am not a robot in mind heart or soul.

@chrisgould101

3 жыл бұрын

Let her know you can and will hurt her. If she tries to turn your child against you.

I learned that it's usually not possible for an optimist to stay autonomous/happy while living with a pessimist (even if they are NOT a narcissist) because an optimist will see the value of a negative partner (like "he reminds me of how wonderful it is to be grateful by his ingratitude" 😁💛) while a pessimist will look for the worst motives or intentions about their partner 😡. So even if the optimist is 100% fine to agree to disagree and drop it (because of their positive nature) a pessimist almost inevitably starts ripping their partner apart verbally and emphasizing the negativity and so even if initially they are attracted to each other for healing and balance, only the positive person usually finds the balance but must then leave because after they learn to appreciate letting people be negative and find the good in their partner...there's nothing left to be gained because the negative partner just gradually wears you down just by their negative presence/energy OR attacks directly. The negative partner doesn't like to let the positive one be positive because they find it annoying and childish. They don't GROW together...only the positive one grows and then has outgrown the relationship and it must end. I don't mind negative partners but because they're negative, they eventually repel love if they won't change. So I stopped even bothering to go on dates with the negative ones...there's zero chance of a long term future with them unless they change and you can never count on that happening so I don't waste my time anymore.

Love the energy exchange paradox. Every time I felt relaxed and let my guard down, the narcissist would pick up on that and bring me 'back to his alternate reality.'

This was me my whole life. Reacting off of other people. My angry father especially. My emotional state was based on how everyone else around me was doing emotionally. Then I married a covert narcissist. 😢 No more. I've found myself the last 2 years and am still growing and getting healthy. Getting back to my hobbies, my passions, finding out WHO I am ❤️ And knowing I know myself even if others disagree! Yeah!

@tomsmith1016

3 жыл бұрын

I read all of your posts, very happy for you! My third year of freedom begins in 2021. Michele is such an awsome resource. For Christmas I bought two of her publications, I miss me and want me back, living with intent. This combination is proving to be very helpful. ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY ! 😁😁

@My_Secret_ArtSketchbook

3 жыл бұрын

Hi u mentioned in another post that your ex wanted you to enjoy fishing as much as he did. Which country was this in please?.n what year. It's important. I will delete my question as soon as I read your answer. Thankyou n may the Good forces be with you. It's just that girl went missing near lake area in England been 1 yr. Nobody knows where she is. And rumour was that she was involved with a married man?? What if your ex is a rapist/ murderer?. You could be the clue. I urge people to keep their ex partners things because their DNA is on them- can link to crimes around your area/ country.

@My_Secret_ArtSketchbook

3 жыл бұрын

Hi there hope u are alright

@starlingswallow

3 жыл бұрын

@@My_Secret_ArtSketchbook I'm in the USA❤️ due to my ex's twisted desire to dress up like a woman during intercourse due to his past sexual abuse as a young teen by a girl cousin (and maybe his mom?), the imprinting he had with that and not being able to have normal heathy sex and the documentaries I've watched on serial killers scares me and makes me glad I'm out. Thank you for your comment! I am safe and have peace, joy and safety 🙏🏻 Thank God.

@starlingswallow

3 жыл бұрын

@@tomsmith1016 I'm currently doing the "I miss me and want me back" journal of Michelle's! It's wonderful! Glad you are out and safe as well!!

I was so mean to me as well! When I cried I'd scream in my head, "what's WRONG with you?! Stupid!" Yes~ I spend 14 years doing things that my inner self was screaming at me NOT TO and I did it anyway. 😢 It broke me down. I recognize my limitations now. 💕 Yes!!! Prison & SLAVERY!! That's what it was! I couldn't love this video more 🥰

Self validation is huge. Learning your attachment style and repairing your inner child is huge!

I matter. I am important. I love myself. I matter.

I've watched A LOT of narcissist videos from various people. This is the first I've heard about Erasing My Autonomy. Wow... I now realize WHY I am how I am, not knowing who I am really. Because I grew up with a VERY narcissistic Mother. Then, because of my resulting, "People Pleasing" personality, I ended up marrying ANOTHER Narcissist. I never really knew what was happening until VERY late in our marriage. Until I really started studying WHY I always felt like basically a slave, at the age of 46 or so, I just kept "pleasing" my Ex and my Mom. FINALLY... after study and a divorce of frustration in 2018; I found my way clear to full NO CONTACT in 2020. NOW... I'm trying to figure out WHO in the heck I am. I'm kinda struggling still. But, I at least feel peace, since I live alone and FAR away from anyone I know... used to know.

@joelhoye1

2 жыл бұрын

Love this! You rock!

I notice that the narcissists I have encountered in my life have sometimes tried to say something negative about me. I don't drink or smoke, but guys have said to me that I should drink to improve my comedy routine at open mic night, but I've never liked to drink. I find it scary that I've encountered so many of these narcissistic types and some have even suggested that I do drugs to improve my cluster headache pain and they called me a goody two shoes for refusing to do drugs. I find it difficult to meet people who allow me to be myself. It seems like a lot of people have tried to mold me to be someone I'm not and I find it easier to be by myself these days.

This is excelent. I lost all autonomy. It feels terrifying to live in my new reality, since he warped my reality so completely. I wanted pizza for dinner two nights in a row. He called me fking crazy. That was the moment I decided to get my pizza anyway. Despite his angry reaction. I made him leave that night, after 25 years. I was not even a person at the end.

@robertataylor5794

Жыл бұрын

Mine chastised me for eating the middle out of my Mocha Cream Pie. I said, its my pie and I will do it if I want. I did NOT feel guilty either. LOL Kept on eating, he probably punished me over that somehow, but I don't care. Went no contact in February of this year. MMMMM, I think I will get me one tomorrow and eat the middle out of that one too!

I love how a video will show up to help me right when I seem to need it most! Thank you so much yet again Michele.

@mitra3021

3 жыл бұрын

Literally

@dianelamorticella6053

3 жыл бұрын

Amen!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

@allykuit5384

3 жыл бұрын

So true. Me too. 😃

@kimsmith819

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely awesome when it shows up at the perfect time

@mountainhobbit1971

3 жыл бұрын

@@kimsmith819 I know, right??!!

Michele this video was very needed. We lose ourselves in narcissistic relationships and focus on their needs and not our own.

Yes definitely, autonomy is so important and we need to get it back or build it for a very first time. We need to get to know who we are first so we can build on that when rebuilding a new healthy life.

This is great advice but it is inadequate. Narcs will also realise when you are emotionally weak and move in for a killing stroke which may result in violence or legal repercussions due to your own behaviour. If you are continuously abused or manipulated do not react, PHYSICALLY LEAVE INSTEAD. Keep doing this until you only need to spend minimal time with the problematic person until you are in a position to leave permanently. DO NOT ENGAGE. DO NOT RATIONALISE. DO NOT DISCUSS. LEAVE

@tomsmith1016

3 жыл бұрын

LOVE IT ! GET OUT,STAY OUT, NEVER GO BACK NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER !

@chrisgould101

3 жыл бұрын

That's exactly what my adoptive mother narc did to me. She doesn't even know how close to ending her life she was to pushing me. Some times I wish I had of ended her and look forward to the day she dies. For me to believe that, a person need a to have done extreme betrayal and hurt me a huge amount. The world and children are better without her in it.

Omg. I cannot believe that finally someone knows what I mean when I say: My mother enjoys seeing me unhappy, lonely, failing etc. Every failure of mine is narcissistic supply to my mother. Why I constantly give this supply to her? Why? I see myself doing it over and over again! This must stop! This is what I‘ve felt 56 of my life: - I am not allowed to love anyone. - I am not allowed to be loved by someone. (My mom said to me about my boyfriend: „He does not really love you. He only uses you!“ While my friends told me:“ Your boyfriend told us how much he loves you!“ Weird, isn‘t it? Totally opposite perceptions and news!) - I cannot support myself with my talents. Only by doing something that looks good to my parents, have possibilities in my life. - I am not allowed to get my own new furniture. It is „wasting mobey“. I must accept all old crab of my parents that they kindly donate to me - and help me saving my money. Saving the money that I do not have, because they have tepeatedly told me that I‘ll never be anything without them. Without them, I‘d starve and die, I am absolutely incabable invalide, so dumm and stupid, that I cannot make money on my own. - I am not able to have social life because I am shy and so vad in anyway. As my mom said:“Nobody likes you because you are like that!“ Obs the word: NOBODY. She meant: „I do not like you.“ Which is, of course, difficult to believe when the sayer is my mom. Maybe, from 7 billion people in the world, SOMEONE likes me as I am? I think 2-5 people even is enough, I do not need everyone liking me. I do not like every 7 billion people either. Etc.

You can't reach safety without financial stability and laws that helps you

@purvamandlik4696

3 жыл бұрын

They use your fears against you. Once you refuse to feel afraid, there is little that they can do to harm you without getting caught. Have faith in yourself. Take time to build yourself up. Cut off from toxic people. Stay in touch with healthy people. All is not lost. Once you start your recovery process, you will find that it was simple, not as impossible as they made it out. Courage is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. God bless you all.

@SilentTrip

3 жыл бұрын

@@purvamandlik4696 thank you for the encouragement, but it is literally impossible for me to get out. Financially and by law I can't be on my own... and the only healthy people I know are burdened by such topics. They won't do shit, and I don't blame them. I wish I could be living in a free land like America, but I'm not.

@purvamandlik4696

3 жыл бұрын

@@SilentTrip I know it gets very difficult. But please keep trying. Be kind to yourself before others. Journaling your thoughts and memories helps a lot. Take time to sort through your feelings. Also jot down what you observe in their behaviour and how it is unfair. It helps your sense of justice for your self. Your determination will bring out immense strength in you that you didn't know existed. You are the hero of your life. 🙏🏼

@SilentTrip

3 жыл бұрын

@@purvamandlik4696 thank you for the comforting words

@greenspider1598

3 жыл бұрын

I grabbed my things put them into two garbage bags and went to my grandmother's house and restarted my life all over again

On the title alone I’m crying 😭😭😭😭 I feel erased and drained as I type. I feel like I’m being controlled by ex narc in many ways still, even after 1.5 years divorced. 😭😭 the only thing attaching us are the children. Just an hour ago, I found my self thinking that maybe I must just let my children go. Let them stay with their daddy and hope for the best for them. 😱😱😱😱 this is crazy thinking!!! But that’s what their father drives me to! Interacting with him drains me omg I’m so sad wow. 💔🙈

@jacalyntaylor6721

3 жыл бұрын

Don't let them go!!! Be strong. He will do what he can to destroy u and make u give up. Don't give him that satisfaction. Ignore everything he does to u ( not easy) find a way to keep your relationship with your kids. I dealt with an overt narc X who did his best to destroy everything I ever dreamed of or owned. He died and I actually took care of him , no one showed up to help me...no regrets...keep studying on how to erase his demon actions towards u....now im dealing with a covert that is one of my sons girlfriend who id doing her best to erase me from the earth. Blessings to u. I will check on u to see how your doing. Im figuring out how to cope with my situation right now that seems hopeless. U will make it.

@drariannamedici

3 жыл бұрын

Eva please hold on to your babies, they will be your strength, hug them, play with them and do not respond to their father except short answers eg: ok, Thank you, no worries and never let him see you down they attack more. Prayers

@trudiswanson9855

3 жыл бұрын

❤🤗 Take heart and strength from these 3 previous lovely people's comments. I lost my world to my X covert. Courage got you this far. Take heart and be the lioness for your kiddies. He will rattle the cage of his own imprisoned horrid empty heart to scare you. But you just Stand with the truth of love who you really are and rest well with the peace of true friends. 🤗

@laughandluxe

3 жыл бұрын

Continue to heal Eva. Your kids are gonna love you in such a special way once you are healed. It's a different kind of love and freedom. Your kids will see you have more peace, joy, freedom in your expressions and decisions, and in your life in general. Healing from Narc abuse takes time, but it's sooooooo worth it. This channel has so many videos, continue to watch and reach out, just as I have. You are not alone and never give a Narc anything, they abuse everything and everyone given to them in some way or another. Especially not your children.....

@warrior8511

3 жыл бұрын

OMG think again ..really think long ..your children need you so much.. safety first I know it's hard to be everything all the time. I'm going to think about you.

I definitely have been shut down for being myself. No longer will I allow myself to let others dictate my feelings and thoughts.

I used to buy books and hide them from that narcissist so he doesn’t criticize my choice of books.

@AnastaciaInCleveland

3 жыл бұрын

That's heartbreaking! 💜 ~ Anastacia in Cleveland

@greenspider1598

3 жыл бұрын

Wow that's bad but then I used to work 16-hour shifts so that I wouldn't have to go home like three of them in one week and even then when I got home she was merciless

@jonathonriddle9922

3 жыл бұрын

I can relate. My book collection got put in boxes in the basement. When I was ordered to fetch items from downstairs, I would get chided for taking too long, lest I be found enjoying the items in my collection.

@greenspider1598

3 жыл бұрын

@@jonathonriddle9922 you were being taught that things that matter to you don't matter and you were being taught that you are not allowed to own anything that's one of the things that my mother taught me growing up and we moved around a lot and I wasn't allowed to bring anything with me I was being taught that I did not matter I was being taught that everything was fleeting and I was not allowed to make a connection to anyone or anything now I'm 50 years old and on top of my armoire in my room is an entire Star Wars collection including a lightsaber take that mother LOL

@sunnyalley8051

3 жыл бұрын

@@greenspider1598 My father didn’t like that I had friends in high school. He would be so rude to them when they came to my house. My father told me one time that having one friend was enough.

I just realized I have no autonomy. Even with everyday people who aren't narcissists, I don't even like expressing my likes and dislikes with friends as I'm afraid as seeming weird if they are not on the same page with me. When discussing ideas with colleagues, if they don't agree with my ideas and I see then display emotions of disapproval, I lose my excitement in that idea and feel myself shrinking smaller and smaller as I try to explain myself. Sometimes I don't do something in public i want to do unless I see other people doing it first. I didn't realize how much my narc moms upbringing had affected me. Thank you for waking me up Michele.

Oh soooo true. Worried all my life about my mother being miserable right up until the present day. It has influenced every area of my life and every decision.

I gave away my autonomy and self respect out of fear of setting off and suffering further abuse from to the ex I divorced this year He forced my children and I to live in the life of hell he forced us into

@My_Secret_ArtSketchbook

3 жыл бұрын

I thank the Universe for answering my Prayers and I ask the Almighty God to relieve people of their stresses n burdens financial, health and wealth property. Please God heal the lost, greedy and place MERCY in their hearts and minds to set free the people that they are abusing and imprisoning. Almighty God forgive them and send them signs so they know they better wakeup and repent before it's too late. FORGIVE everybody since the time from Adam( PEACE be apon him) up to all of the people who are alive breathing and others buried to this day. AMEN

This is happening to me and I'm sitting here wondering why I don't like the things I used to Girl you hit this on the head. I'm saving this video 😭😭😭Words couldn't explain how I've been feeling lately

@jonathonriddle9922

3 жыл бұрын

You're not alone, Mix. I went through this same ordeal. Because Michelle is addressing this topic, you can bet your bottom dollar a whole lot of other people have and are experiencing this too.

To keep your autonomy, be prepared to hear: "You're being difficult. You're acting up again...You're selfish."

@sherrytaylor3738

Жыл бұрын

yup, so true

Yes!! Autonomy especially financial independence, especially is something they try to prevent you from having

Definitely feels like what has happened to me. My narc tried very hard to separate me from my family and accuse them of being abusive to me (using their own unique definition of abuse) and tried to cut off me from my friends and only have me around their family and friends. It has felt the life being sucked out of you

My excn wanted me to love fishing as much as he did, he flipped OUT when I said I just "liked" it and wasn't that ok?? He ended up not proposing to me the original night he'd planned to because of this fight...and he told me so. Punish and program much? He also didn't want me to get another job from the business we had together. I wanted to get the heck away from this person b/c he was MISERABLE but he wouldn't let me. His dreams had to be my dreams~~~and I was so scared to follow my dreams, scared to fail, that I decided his dreams would be sufficient for me...BOY was I wrong!!

@greenspider1598

3 жыл бұрын

I was forced and coerced into doing things I did not want to do for a very long time every concept every idea every hobby any interest I had was stupid boy was that person surprised when I left this person made me believe that I had no choice and no voice and I would fail at everything and then one day I said okay yeah you know what I'd rather fail then continue with this relationship because they only get worse they don't get better

@starlingswallow

3 жыл бұрын

@@greenspider1598 I'm so glad you realized this too! And I'm so sorry you were coerced to do things too. I was coerced to do many things and the sexual things were abhorrent...twisted and disgusting. 😖😢 It broke me down as a woman but God is faithful and is restoring me and healing these traumas and wounds!💕❤️

@greenspider1598

3 жыл бұрын

@@starlingswallow we do everything we can to make them happy and they just want more and more and more

@Eva-ru8en

3 жыл бұрын

When you said "his dreams had to be my dreams . Being scared to follow my dreams, scared to fail and decided that his dreams would be sufficient for me!!" wow I relate so much!

after 2 and a half years ... I'm stuck on the bridge to get out of such a toxic relationship (literally and figuratively) ... I don't have the strength anymore, I don't have the will anymore ... BUT ,I want to be calm, I need of peace and quiet!!!! I want to return to myself, passions, dreams, desires .... without being judged and accused ...

Ahha. Yes when you said the perspective thing there we go. They would give theirs and i would give mine... but perhaps since i had my own perspectives they thought i was trying to invalidate theirs.

@lauratheexplorer6390

3 жыл бұрын

They’re projecting & it’s them who’s trying to invalidate your perspective. Not the other way around.

I believe all our problems fit into just three categories: Beliefs (Self & world), Integrity/Conflict, and Focus of attention. Autonomy is mostly a Beliefs issue ('focus of attention' has already determined that, also, no 'inner conflict' has been identified for discussion - ie; is not a problem). So the key question to ask here is: - What does it mean About ME, that they are feeling that way? You're answer/s will reflect YOUR sub-conscious (EG Hidden) beliefs about the frame of identity YOU (as a sentient intelligent Being of consciousness) are taking into that interaction/context. This spotlights precisely which beliefs you need to change [you're welcome]. Does it mean - You're not enough/unimportant/not valued? [correlates with Maslow's Esteem needs} Does it mean - You're not Loved/wanted/needed? [correlates with Maslow's Belonging needs]. Or, Does it mean - You're not Powerful/ I'm Powerless/Helpless/hopeless [correlates with Banura's Efficacy needs]. That thing we ALL want: CERTAINTY, simply wants us to be Certain of those three things and get them sorted out. When you KNOW you are Valued, When you KNOW you're loved, When you KNOW there's no PART of you in conflict/objection to any other part within you - you, my friend, are indeed a true FREE Spirit💛

I... completely lost myself... but I love myself more than ever and healthiest I've ever been. However I pieced myself together piece by piece with mindfulness instead of how I was. I only remember bits and pieces of how I used to be.

Exactly! It’s like prison.

The "narcissist" is jealous of your autonomy. He/She can't or won't be autonomous, so they are stricken with Envy. The problem with autonomy is that ,it requires responsibility. Responsibility is maybe the hardest thing you'll ever do. On other the hand,the payoffs for being responsible are invaluable. While humans spend a lot of energy avoiding responsibility, the energy in taking responsibility is what will get us home, everyone included.

A disturbing thing they do is "set you up for failure". I have been in situations in the past where someone seems to have either offered to or been assigned to do something that included me. Some things that have resulted is : I told him he must of forgot to show up. He knew were were expecting him (not at all) why wasn't he ready? Oh, I didn't know he was out of town and scheduled ( a very) important meeting thinking he would be here. And the list goes on. They even will try to "insert" themselves into others relationships, friendships etc. pretending to be "oh so helpful" but instead setting things up for "near misses", embarrassments, missed opportunities etc. It seems like a cult since some phrases seem to be common like "right under nose" "You will never get back what we took from you" "we made you look like a complete a-hole" "We made it look like your fault". These are many times one or 2 narcissists that get together and have "fun" playing with the lives of other people.

Excellent tips and examples. I'll definitely be sharing in the support groups. Thank you!

I think for me the best way to not ask for permission, would be by simply not looking them in the eyes... Narcisissts are always soo hungry for atention, even as strangers.. Well, then don t give them supply... Ignore them like the scumbags they are...

@carolina_is_free

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, I found that people with N / NPD traits react especially strong if you don't look them in the eyes while talking. They can't accept this behaviour and feel like not getting enough attention. There are people who are just shy, autistic or can concentrate on things better if they don't look at a face/eyes constantly. This technique of "ignoring" Narcs via less eye contact drives them crazy. They want to be seen so desperately.

@lesleygarvs4640

3 жыл бұрын

@@carolina_is_free i just had that situation in the city... The mask makes specially them, i think very anxious, yet the observe not absorb technique totally help... And run🏃‍♀️🚮😅

@AlesjahTgmailcom

3 жыл бұрын

@@lesleygarvs4640 wearing a mask is a problem period. No air to breath in fresh air

@AlesjahTgmailcom

3 жыл бұрын

@@carolina_is_free Those of us on a spirit of light need eye contact because the communication is important. People on phones while talking is rude. Narcasist need that eye contact to control behavior after they have not took your joy away.

Happy to hear you say how you might be capable of things you didn't think you'd be capable of. When I start to feel better, things come back to me from my memory. Things I had forgotten where there. But when I start to feel better, its easier to pull from these resources, that are buried.

Thank you for this. Once again it's spot on. You are such help to me.

Thanks for another great video, appreciate all you do Michele!

Loved this video, Michele. Thank you for helping me getting clearer. More, please!!

I keep commenting but this video is pure Gold! Thank you Michelle!!! 💗🙏🏻

Man, this hits so true. Thank you so much.

Love your channel !! I’ve been listening since 2018 !!!!!!! Thank you

You are literally bringing me into realizations that help healing. Thank you so very much.

I love how you put this topic into words - very well said & helpful. ❤

Thank you Michele, for another super helpful video.. You are the best!..❤️🙏💋

Your videos are always so imbued with wisdom and practicable advice. Thank you so, so much!

GOOD STUFF LIKED AND SHARED!!!

Very good topic Michelle 👍 I have heard everyone talk about everything else,but this,we do need to govner ourselves.

thank you Michelle really we love you plz continue we are more powerful with you.

Wow thanks. Very comforting and easy to understand.

This video exactly describes my engagement. I had to leave the relationship when I realized that not only did I not feel like my authentic self, I didn't like the person that I was coerced into becoming in order to maintain that relationship. A few months after striking out on my own, I began to settle back into who I was before the abuse began. I felt like a rubber band that had been pulled taut, almost to the point of tearing, that had slowly relaxed back into its normal circular shape.

Thanks Michelle for your insights and clarity

I love this insight, thinking back, if she was not aware of the ongoing abuse, perpetrating it unconsciously, I guess from her perspective I was such a let down, such an anchor dragging her back. I was constantly sad and afraid of another rage episode. The thing is, if you find a way to be autonomous then the abuser will amplify the abuse, because they will indentify it as a loss of control and they will change methods of asserting control. Even if unconscious, when the narcissism assesses that control has to be re-established and the normal lines of defense are not working, it will convince the narcissist to be more abusive, they won`t even understand why themselves and that's when you'll hear ''This is not me, I'm not like that''. So when I did establish a form of harmony by learning to not react, she became physically abusive and like, a lot. I was choked, my clothes were torn down, punched and kicked until I was unconscious. She became something else completely. It makes it all much harder to move on from. I should have bailed out earlier.

Your voice is so soothing and comforting. I instantly feel at ease. Love these videos, thank you.

Michelle, this vid is excellent.....Just what I needed Thank You!!

This is so good! Thank you.

You can call yourself a TRUE freedom fighter. Thank you more than I can say for your giving ministry.

Brilliant! Brilliant indeed.

Your channel has helped me so much to make sense of my feelings

Glad to see you doing well. Got out of the "narc abuse circle" but still check in periodically

Thank you for this video!🦋

You’re really good 👍. Thanks.

Thank you for this video. It is helping immensely.

You put into words for me the explanation that I could not put into words myself. I have been healing myself as I recognized this for sometime. This really came to the fore when I was trying to survive cancer. It finally just came out of me that I could not keep up. It was a nightmare.

Wow, this is helping me so much!

Thank you so much. So deep and useful

I watched that video and I just let thoughts go and start breathing softly again. Thank you!!!

Great wisdom. Thank you

Thanks for your help 😄

Great video Michele, thank you!

Thank you for this. My passion is acting . They criticized and put it down. Positive self talk!❤

This is so helpful. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for this! I did a lot of work several years back on the narcissistic romantic relationship I had and have felt much better and things have improved in my life. However, I still have been unable to move forward with what I have been trying to do for a long time, that once was a great passion of mine. I couldn't figure out why it didn't feel like such a passion any more and why I can't get excited for many past passions I once had. It took my narcissistic sister to provoke a negative reaction from me a few weeks ago and then I went searching for videos to help and found your channel. I didn't realize how much she was still affecting my life and how I gave up my autonomy a lonnng time ago because she was always so angry if I was happy or peaceful or God forbid pursuing a passion of mine...she always put it down...either overtly or covertly...this video explained it all perfectly:)

Thank you so much for all of the great advice you give and make it so easy to understand. In november 2020 i realised my parents, my sister ( only sibling ) , my x husband, my eldest and youngest son's and a daughter in law are all narcsistis, ive been watching you and others trying to make sence of it all , i dont even know who i am ???. I was sexualy abused from 18mths to 10ish ,raped at 14 and at 16 for 6 weeks on an ocean liner by a steward on the ship , he threatened to throw me over board if i told . I have dissasociation identity disorder from the trauma ( 9 identities ).... last week i was having a text message with my eldest nephew ( who i was very close to , but he's back in with his mother). It turned nasty when i tried stating the truth of my up bringing , he told me " i had slandered his family and he had full support from his mother and 2 brothers" to never contact them again , to get help or apologise ???...i lost in total 26 people ( thats the whole of my family ) in Australia??? How do i deal with this and D I D ??? I'm at my wits end ..please help 💕💕💕

So many Golden nuggets Michele 💥🎯😎👌

Thank you. Great video

So many things I've felt forbidden to do - I realised they were things that come from me.

I love your videos Michelle and learn so much by watching them. You always use words that we understand and don't have to dissect to figure out ❤. I have definitely lost my passions and interests. He just isn't supportive of anything that has to do with me

On point Michelle... went thru this at least 3 times or more

I love ❤️ your style for video's, topic n how you explain with examples. It totally resonates with me 🙏🙏🙏 Please, keep making more videos.

Wow this was eye opening

Yeah I was just thinking about this how I feel erased. ! Just yesterday

You are an angel 😇THANKS 💐.

When you have parents who always did what you describe so well in this video ( as you always do), we develop a voice inside us that criticise and work toward what the narcissist wants.

I needed this video it really makes sense

Excellent!

The narcissist is continually on hyperdrive, they are attempting to manipulate and intimidate to affect the emotions of those they target. Many years ago I remember feeling very happy. I would walk into the room with a family gathering and these narcissists would have a horrible ugliness in the room as though they left a sad looming over the entire room. I caught myself feeling sad or rebuked toward me even though I said or did nothing wrong. In later years I remained happy no matter what they were doing and the narcissist would do something rude trying to make me miserable. IN one case the narcissist even raged for no reason simply by saying something like; "No, I won't be able to make it," or "no I don't believe that." Simply allowing me to be me was enough to cause problems. I removed myself entirely from these people and my problems dissolved.

🙏🏾 helpful and appreciate your lessons

Thank you!

They did erase me successfully and it is a struggle to get your real identity back afterwards if its even possible.

Thank you so much