And when this life is done, instead of St Peter, we will be greeted by Ashens' giant hands. We will judged, and either end up on the good shelf or burned.

@guerillagrueplays6301

6 жыл бұрын

I would join this religion. I call the spot next to whatever He Man figure is on the shelf at any given time.

@viktorvikinikfiki8607

5 жыл бұрын

*good shelf* The shelf of interesting items , you uncultured swine.

@andymadden8183

5 жыл бұрын

"We will judged".

@judojamie379

4 жыл бұрын

we are all currently in the draw of purgatory

@beabea5985

3 жыл бұрын

@@andymadden8183 will lay egg

I have no beak, but I must cluck.

@cwhkim

6 жыл бұрын

An excellent reference.

@lestatcomedante3907

6 жыл бұрын

Nice one!

@cat21860

6 жыл бұрын

Lestat Comédantè thank you

*Official Petition* to make Tesco change their slogan to *"That Big Supermarket Wot Does Sell the Stuff"*

@skootergirl22

6 жыл бұрын

Fazers "every little does not help"

@simontay4851

6 жыл бұрын

Change it to "Every little helps... Us".

@andymadden8183

5 жыл бұрын

Every little helps *us get richer*

Let me tell you, that sticky material stuff is a bastard. Here in the US there was a fad for sticky hands and other miscellaneous-shaped sticky things, and they were often sold in quarter vending machines for kids. My family ended up getting a rather big rat-shaped one, and my dad flung it by its tail, sticking it to the ceiling. My parents divorced not long after that. But the oily residue stuck around!

@subterraneanfermentation8513

3 жыл бұрын

Are you sure that was not a genuine rat

Is it bad I look forward to holidays because of Ashens specials more than the holidays themselves.

@MadameTeqi

6 жыл бұрын

Charlie Hamnett nah mate welcome to adulthood holidays

@darkforestzombie218

4 жыл бұрын

No

It's not Easter until Ashens is forced to taste-test a chick/rabbit that may or may not be actually made out of food.

@naranciaisbestboi125

6 жыл бұрын

*something edible

@Knights_of_the_Nine

6 жыл бұрын

They’re almost certainly made out of food. That’s the scary part.

People's Nans in the pound shop observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh that's cute, I bet our little Franny-poo will like that. Shall we get it? Yeeeaah let's get it. Why not, eh? It's only a pound!" Stuart observing the light-up chick thing: "Oooh this reminds me of the darkest fucking collection of words and concepts ever committed to print by man or otherwise. Might make a half decent segment of a youtube video. Shall I chuck it in the trolley with the other shite? Why not, eh? Nothing matters in the slightest."

“I’m going to try a bit of the mushy blue stuff” *shockingly audible crunch* I did not expect that...

The sheer variety of sad onions discovered on this channel never ceases to surprise me

"I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" is literally the best sci-fi story ever.

It's only just struck me, at how funny the whole "sad onion" thing actually is, and ashens said it so naturally in this video, that i have in fact broken into hysterics and passed away.

At the end I thought you were going to show us the lord and savior *THE GOOSE* .

@bilbo_gamers6417

6 жыл бұрын

No, he locked it in a leaded trunk and chained it to the bottom of a very deep lake a long time ago.

@shards-of-glass-man

6 жыл бұрын

If you want to see THE GOOSE, it's ruling over his kitchen.

@woolenhat5796

6 жыл бұрын

Bilbo_Gamers no he didnt its in his kitchen. Lol

@sasaki8765

6 жыл бұрын

I think you mean the GROOSE. HE IS LOOSE.

@maryannmariano4230

6 жыл бұрын

Read it in Ashens voice

This ain’t a scene, it’s a god damned spoon race.

"you could probably destroy the houses of parliment with enough of these" Stuart was then banned from the UK

@IanC14

6 жыл бұрын

Ebola Chan if someone did that they'd be a national hero

@simontay4851

6 жыл бұрын

Stuart, not Stewart.

@ebolachan3451

6 жыл бұрын

ah, I've got egg on me face

@athenasrevenge93

6 жыл бұрын

Ebola Chan (canned laughter)

@PunakiviAddikti

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah, pretty sure he's on a government watchlist now.

Doctor: "I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid you have a herniated egg splat. There is no cure."

You should buy your couch a gift this easter considering what it's been through

@Morgan02

6 жыл бұрын

Justin Y. The one place I didn't expect to see you

@thisisabadchannel.stopsubs2952

5 жыл бұрын

The one Justin Y comment that has the least likes

@ReddestOne24

3 жыл бұрын

You're cool 😎

Ashen's is the only reason I even remember to celebrate Easter.

I swear Ashens is the only reason I look forward to any holiday

That's not Easter straw, that's a tribble, and you just killed it, you evil man you!

@guerillagrueplays6301

6 жыл бұрын

Feh. I'm sure there's plenty more where that one came from.

For those curious in the UK, "Dolgen corp" is the American company that owns "Dollar General" stores, a chain that, as the name suggests, would be similar to Poundland / Poundworld. I know they have been brought up before on this channel but clarification I felt would be nice. Also, that company HQ is in the same state as me, so.. yeah... I knew that bloody package looked too American!

@bt1234567892010

6 жыл бұрын

from what I understand, Poundland/world is more akin to the American Dollar Trees. Dollar Generals don't have everything for $1, highest I've ever seen something in there is $50. Otherwise, TIL about Dolgen Corp

@ChristopherSobieniak

6 жыл бұрын

Dollar General is a discount store, but unlike Poundland or Dollar Tree, they do sell stuff that cost over a dollar, so their selection tends to be a bit more broader and has some familiar name brands sold regularly. They sometimes get some exclusives now and then like the time they had the Pac-Man plug 'n play I picked up a few years back.

Out of date by 4 years. This is the ashens I know

“It’s going to be difficult to come in via the bottom...” Words uttered on many a wedding night...

I lost it at “throw the egg on a window!...how bout no” he just sounds so unimpressed 😂 Edit: “I’ve given the egg splat a hernia!” is my new favourite Ashens quote ever

Ashens: Reviewing food that probably hasn't been on sale for years

@schadenfreudebuddha

6 жыл бұрын

how else will we know whether we should have bought it?

@TheHutchy01

2 жыл бұрын

Stu has eaten a scarily large amount of food from before the moon landing.

You missed the date by uploading on a tuesday...otherwise it would be ashens wednesday

@TsunogaiDanshaku

6 жыл бұрын

anythingorz *click* PPPHBT

i have no beak... and i must cheep...

@Knights_of_the_Nine

6 жыл бұрын

I hop. And when I hop, I never get off the ground.

@chataclysm2112

6 жыл бұрын

tsukiji_wasabi cheeeeeep cheep cheep cheeeeeep.

@nathanbarnes6869

6 жыл бұрын

I have no bill, and I must trill...

@seiyuokamihimura5082

4 жыл бұрын

@@nathanbarnes6869 bills for thrills maybe?

Those squishy chicks and whatnot were really helpful to me several years ago when my mental disabilities started surfacing. The squishiness was very comforting and squeezing them was very cathartic.

A man throws Toyah Willcox's old merkin to the back of his sofa and films himself saying the word Cadbury won't. NICE!

You never disappoint in eating expired garbage

That couch never gets old

Very very very sadly, I got excited when the fortune telling fish was found. I even said "aw yes" out loud. Kill me, it is the only kind thing to do.

This reminds me of my youth having a big bag of grass before hoping to get some chicks to flash me.

@maxscardanelli6185

6 жыл бұрын

Chalky 😂😂😂

That poor couch.

@ZeSnark

6 жыл бұрын

It's a SOFA

@__elly__

6 жыл бұрын

Can someone explain the difference?!🤔

@fyrentenimar

6 жыл бұрын

A sofa is something you're not supposed to lay on, it's meant only for sitting (also, from what I read, it's meant to be slightly less comfortable).

@puddycat2325

6 жыл бұрын

Elly Medrano a sofa is correct English and a couch is American.

@araigumaxo3907

6 жыл бұрын

It's been through so much

Seeing this in my notifications has literally made my day

@LaureneZzi

6 жыл бұрын

...and you didn't disappoint!

You created your very own Easter land fill diorama 🤗

Did that laugh box have a gunshot? Thats a bit intense...

@chesirerat4491

5 жыл бұрын

Lmao I have one of those. There is also a bomb sound.

@darkforestzombie218

4 жыл бұрын

No

You know you've watched too many Ashens Easter/Xmas Specials when you've heard every cracker joke at least 3 times.

And here I was rewatching the past specals to prepare for this one. Highlight of my holiday as always!

_An excellent time honored tradition._

"It's going to be difficult to come in via the bottom" - Oo-er missus !

@HMJ66

6 жыл бұрын

Ass Burgers thank you for fulfilling my expectations of this community.

@Ass_Burgers_Syndrome

6 жыл бұрын

It was totally necessary. You're quite welcome

@skootergirl22

6 жыл бұрын

Your name is based on that episode of South park where Carmen thought that asbugers is pronounced "ass burgers"

@Ass_Burgers_Syndrome

6 жыл бұрын

Georgina Yes it is and you'd be surprised at the amount of abuse I get from people who don't realise that it's just a joke from it.

@Jackadiah

6 жыл бұрын

I’ve given you a like purely for using the phrase “oo-er”

I really love these holiday tat specials. Thank you, ashens!

YESSSSS FATHER DROWN ME IN UR EASTER SPECIAL GOODNESS , the rebirth of ur most recent upload list fills me with sweet delight. Thankyou

Your holiday tat suffering gives me great joy. Thank you for your sacrifice dr. Ashens!

My 3yr old HAS to watch "ashens" every night at bed... luckily, I've got a new one he'll love!

@Zulf85

6 жыл бұрын

Cody Granrud this series isn't really appropriate for a three year-old imo...better than that Spiderman and Elsa though tat I guess

@xxx789ist

6 жыл бұрын

A 3yr old should not really watch it as there is a bit of swear

I came to hear him say "Easter chick" 50 thousand times.

Loving the early guest appearance from the Lorax! Huge fan here c:

No lie my favorite part about your reviews is when you take that deep breathe after tasting anything unpleasant.

@Wemius61

5 ай бұрын

...followed by, "Oh."

Aw, I actually really like those rubbery squidgy chicks. They're good tactile things to fidget with. until you break them by stretching them too much.

The true star of Ashens channel returns. The Sound Machine.

I've been addicted to your channel for the past few weeks (and I'm glad that so much content has been created.. Since the dawn of KZread lol). You actually have the exact same sense of humor and general tone as one of my closest childhood friends (even though he's American lol). We were always obsessed with Monty Python back then, though, so I guess you both have had similar comedic influences. Thanks for all the great videos!!!! Happy Easter!!!

"that's Spanish for look out these are shite" I spat my Pepsi everywhere lmao 🤣🤣🤣

Lol I remember when I used to watch Ashens after stressing about exams and he’d some how calm me that much I’d fall asleep 😂😂😂😂 First time in years I’ve watched him again

This is just what I needed

I used to be fascinated with those fuzzy chick things as a little kid. I'd always get them every Easter

I love the reference to I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. Great little story.

I saw the egg and spoon race kit in a cheap store here, complete with fake eggs. Was going to send it through to you guys! Nice to see it reviewed here.

Finally some classic ashens that isn't a blind egg/bag or a figurine.

I got one of those "Egg Splat" things years ago at an exhibition near my old house. I actually loved it. There were multiple ones, one was a tomato, one was an egg, and I think one was like some sort of weird zombie where its skeleton would be little bone pieces inside. If you throw it really hard against a wall it never breaks and makes a satisfying splat noise and looks pretty rad. Too bad it always left marks on the wall and I was too scared of it breaking

He rose on the third day to allow a day for us to buy cheap trash made in China and candy to increase our obesity thank you Jesus

@naranciaisbestboi125

6 жыл бұрын

And then a rabbit laid eggs and hid them for all the little kids to find. Praise Jesus!

@darkforestzombie218

4 жыл бұрын

Jesus_isn't_real.

The best joke ever got off a laffy taffy wrapper was " What is the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheel chair!"

@IanC14

6 жыл бұрын

Thedoctor133 okay that made me laugh

@user-74652

5 жыл бұрын

I love having dark jokes on a children's product. Especially since, from what I've read, that joke would have probably been sent in by a child.

@omgfandomfan

5 жыл бұрын

Thedoctor133 hahaha okay everyone has seen it on the internet

bill plimton had me dying, and i don't understand why

I love moving my mouse across the timeline on the bottom of the video and seeing his couch in the preview steadily become completely obscured by mountains of trash.

Harlan Ellison approves of this horrorshow.

A very Happy Easter to you. Kinda lazy for "Poundland" to re-purpose "Christmas Crackers" into "Easter Crackers", but I will say at least the first ones had more Easter related stuff then the other pack. Wouldn't surprise me if there existed "Halloween Crackers" or "Thanksgiving Crackers". Hell, I'd be more shocked if they made Arbor Day Crackers. Fun Special.

Oh my god, that things crashing down sound effect just reminds me so much of Constructor.

I love this squishy things and how hey can stretch in all directions xD

Happy Easter 2009!

@ChaseMC215

6 жыл бұрын

Internet Explorer It's 2018, not 2009

@evanpalombella3161

6 жыл бұрын

MC Chase No shit Sherlock

@Jesus-H.-Christ

6 жыл бұрын

Oh good Dad, you really are slow, no wonder I switched to Chrome

@dustycrustyhomelessman1648

6 жыл бұрын

MC Chase it's 20018 as I type this, need to ascend soon and visiting ashen's channel before I return to the 105th dimension

@nickp1999

6 жыл бұрын

@MC Chase looks like you're the only slow one here mate

I love you're videos it makes me feel good having someone with a sense of humor. Most people are a stick in the mud.

i can’t even tell you how strangely satisfying it was watching you stretch and squish that chick amoeba lol i loved that

I want that magical sound effect contraption! :)

2012 Easter Special was still the best one.

When you wack that light up chick the only thing I thought was that song "Sandstorm" by Darude being played while it was lighten up. I remember eating this tube of jelly goo "candy" at the dollar store as a kid... it wasn't good, it was just artificial flavor of this jelly blue syrup in a tube. and I don't think they make them any more and that's a good thing.

Wow, 1.3 million subs! Congratulations, Sir. Well done.

Ah, the sixth anniversary of my finding your channel has come. gee.

Happy easter Ashens, great video as always. 😄

You should open an art gallery for tat

@jakedavies1393

6 жыл бұрын

tat modern

@eeresponsible

6 жыл бұрын

Jake Davies: I just wanted you to know you're my hero.

@FiorinaArtworks

6 жыл бұрын

a Tatropolian Museum would be nice indeed.

@jadeyxboox

6 жыл бұрын

Jake Davies was going to say the same thing. Damnit.

@SaidHead2

6 жыл бұрын

I would totally go to that.

Dungeon Master, for all your holiday needs.

I get nostalgic seeing these.

Literally woke up this morning thinking "I hope Ashens uploads a 20 minute video today." BEST. DAY. EVER.

"Crappy spinning top?!" HEY! The little spinning tops from Christmas Crackers actually work really well!

Ever since discovering Ashens I have been very grateful to live near a Poundland

"Rubbery mass of lit up God-knows-what." Story of my life, really...

We’ll call him dwerp 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 made me laugh so hard

Oh Jesus the silence after he threw the egg. I’m dead.

Funeral Crackers: contain a little skull, a black party hat and a miniature death certificate. No 'bang' when you pull it, just a sobbing sound. This has now been published, so Poundland, you owe me a percentage.

Ayyy. I just got back from the dollar tree around the corner. I'll eat my poor quality chocolate bunny while I watch the video then.

@naranciaisbestboi125

6 жыл бұрын

Don't get sick from how cheap it is.

because of ashens I will never eat foamy food, thanks you saved my life

I love your breathing sound when you’re tasting bad food 😂😂

the little alien bloby chick would be a great sci-fi character

My left ear really enjoyed this pitch

*wakes up* "Yay, time for coffee and a hard productive day of studying". "Oh, Stuart's released the easter special! There goes that plan then!" :-)

The tomato joke are actually quite funny.

O God I picked a bad time to eat marzipan. I'm struggling not to spew it all over my monitor from laughing.

aww man these are the best reviews. All you need is THE GOOSE

14:35 “Check out my new tat” has a dual meaning in this scenario.

That egg looks like a lot of fun.

Sound Machine has enhanced the fun factor by at least 2.

The chick you can use to scare the crap out of a stoner roomy, put it over their eyes and make a siren sound, "Shit, it's the cops! Run!".

Lmao "Chernobyl the Chick, they've put a bib on it not because it spills its food, but because its own eye has run down its face"

cheap donald trump wig, bloody brilliant