That Evil Hairy Rat is quite clearly just a repurposed squirrel.

@emmanuelferto3343

6 жыл бұрын

Zoanthrope That’s what I thought!

@whiterabbit75

6 жыл бұрын

You say squirrel, I say fluffy-tailed rat.

@kubektunes

6 жыл бұрын

I was thinking a some mole/squirrel offspring freak. I mean, look at them claws.

@alfiemorrison7741

6 жыл бұрын

Zoanthrope sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh

@TheEvilpossum

6 жыл бұрын

Thought the same thing... w/ the fangs, looks like Scrat.

"I've got a faulty squidger" - ashens 2017

@EmmaW5

6 жыл бұрын

DAMMIT you beat me to it! xD

@bencockerill42

6 жыл бұрын

- said the man with erectile disfunction

@ohmanthatguy2443

6 жыл бұрын

Obnoxious at Best Would you say his love is so soft that you ain't had nothing softer?

@bencockerill42

6 жыл бұрын

Had to Google that reference, but sure!

@darrelsam419

6 жыл бұрын

Sounds disturbingly like "fidget spinner"

_"It's also weirdly bulbous in the wrong directions..."_ Story of my life... :/

@user-yo2lt8ch7v

6 жыл бұрын

Yours too?

@maverickREAL

6 жыл бұрын

Marc B. Poblet oh you poor thing. Can we talk about our life stories? Mine ain't better~

@CLaw-tb5gg

6 жыл бұрын

And my squidger doesn't work.

@vegasspaceprogram6623

4 жыл бұрын

Dolphin dick

@Kazza_8240

4 жыл бұрын

Title of your sex tape 🤣

That bat looks more like mothman than a bat

@BigOlSmellyFlashlight

6 жыл бұрын

Gwendolyn Westwind west virginia

@Silver_wind_1987_

6 жыл бұрын

Gwendolyn Westwind bats don't have that weird bone like structure it's more tissue with bone holding it together. ...with a tiny claw at the end of each wing to collect food...

@tinysmall9697

4 жыл бұрын

I love it wayyy better now that u pointed that out! I love mothman!

@AlisonBryen

3 жыл бұрын

@@BigOlSmellyFlashlight Point Pleasant.

@BigOlSmellyFlashlight

3 жыл бұрын

@@AlisonBryen i do not live near there sadly

I honestly can't imagine Ashens getting rid of this couch and replacing it. What would I do with my life?

@judojamie379

6 жыл бұрын

go to the skip where he throws it away and slowly tear some off each day and inject it directly into your bloodstream or just cry

@Firecul

6 жыл бұрын

There are other couches out there that have had unspeakable things done upon them but this one is ours

@danielflanard8274

6 жыл бұрын

It would be tough and might take a few years of therapy but it's two simple words, move on.

@DissociatedWomenIncorporated

6 жыл бұрын

I was quite amused to recently see comments on another video, where someone was extremely irate that he'd not used any of his KZread money to replace the sofa yet.

@DissociatedWomenIncorporated

6 жыл бұрын

Toxic Potato, I know, right? It's almost unprecedented on KZread, known as a most civil and intellectual debate platform.

Ashens spent years studying psychology to then review crap on his sofa

@pommax

6 жыл бұрын

Gwyn Lord Of Cinder Your point is? He’s living the fucking dream. Graduate with a degree and be a youtube star

@h_espeliz3347

6 жыл бұрын

Can you blame him? It's almost mandatory to study psychology when reviewing crap on a sofa for 11 bloody years

@Bready_Player_Bun

6 жыл бұрын

It is literally the best use of a psychology degree.

@rossfromfriends8468

6 жыл бұрын

Techically when in you are in a psycologists office, he is analyzing a peice of crap on his sofa

@thomasjenkins7506

6 жыл бұрын

hate to be the serious one, but i'm sure it comes it very handy as he's running his channel. understanding how people think and act can be very useful when trying to manage viewer retention.

"Hello! This is certainly quite high pitched! Hi! I'm a small elf who used to advertise breakfast cereal, but now, kids just inject cocaine directly into their eyeballs every morning, so I'm out of a job!" I lost it lol

@Ninten110dogs

3 жыл бұрын

Same lmfao

@insertjokehere

2 жыл бұрын

He sounds like Jonathan Ablebody.

Rat expert here, rats actually look like 3:49 when they are in attack/intimidation mode, it's the equivalent of a dog growling kinda. Their teeth move apart from eachother like this so they can inflict deeper, larger wounds.

@argubertjones9441

6 жыл бұрын

are you a professional rat expert?

@cithaeron680

6 жыл бұрын

I can confirm that he is, I follow his meme page.

@harharluke

6 жыл бұрын

Exploding Fish shitposting and senseless drivel watches Ashens. Could we have asked for a better Facebook page owner

@EpicHysteria

6 жыл бұрын

Why are you a rat expert

@ChadMojito

6 жыл бұрын

Yes

"Very high and robotic, we call that Teresa may" Perfect, my Halloween is complete

@TravisStewart42

6 жыл бұрын

chris lowis "Brexit means Brexit" was pretty spooky.

@adamcummings20

6 жыл бұрын

All sides of the political spectrum are brought together by a collective hate of Theresa May

@aidanfirth1581

6 жыл бұрын

Adam even the tories!

@browngirlinaclownworld2077

6 жыл бұрын

For the first time in my lifetime, I feel like you Brits actually have some rather entertaining characters in politics. Boris Johnson, Nigel Farage, Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn. All of them are terribly disheveled looking though. I wonder what's up with that.

@zachs5601

6 жыл бұрын

Should have voted Buckethead

“I’ve got a faulty squidger!” He exclaimed to the NHS helpline.

@Dan89201

6 жыл бұрын

Atheist Orphan have some willy bigger said the nhs staff with a laugh

@TheFlipsta97

6 жыл бұрын

DEADPOOL No no no. The NHS aren't that useful. Here is how that would go: "just take some paracetamol" or alternatively "yeah... well see... hmm... Well there's nothing we can technically do about it." Seriously, do doctors in our beloved NHS actually do anything?

@pickleparty247

6 жыл бұрын

If you give them enough time they can be useful. I was on the waiting list to see the NHS Wales ear & throat doctors for a few months and when I saw one I was scheduled for an operation within a month's time. Not too shabby.

@scruffydarealog2632

6 жыл бұрын

A few months of waiting in america i could see a doctor and get a prescription or a procedure scheduled within the month :O

@GeorgiawithaG

6 жыл бұрын

scruffy da real OG but then simply going to the doctor would cost $300, prescription costs $1200, procedure costs $5000.

That voice changer was actually pretty cool i think! Good value.

@IvanovIvanAKrutoi

6 жыл бұрын

I kinda would've liked to hear what the voice would sound like if he set all the switches to on.

@Battledongus

6 жыл бұрын

Same i was hoping for more voice examples. He prob didn't because hes worried about making his videos too long because apprantly crazy people abandon too long videos which ruins it for the rest of us!

I'm gonna write a fanfic about you and the Poundland bat.

@baltic8558

6 жыл бұрын

email pls i need it

@mattycarrier4312

6 жыл бұрын

Same ^

@jamiewilliamson9829

6 жыл бұрын

I'd wanna read it out of curiosity

@anrw886

6 жыл бұрын

I want this

@gokuuzumaki70

6 жыл бұрын

No thanks.

How did they get so much glue on the bats face and yet miss the eyes completely making them loose??

@athenathegreatandpowerful6365

5 жыл бұрын

Talent.

@vvaspss5322

5 жыл бұрын

years and years of research

@samholdsworth420

Ай бұрын

Slave labor and no quality control

How's it an evil bat though What crime has this bat committed?

@acapeIIIa_callilulelo

6 жыл бұрын

Snorting Cocaine through their eyes and turning them into rubies.

@earo4040

6 жыл бұрын

Was spook

@Dan89201

6 жыл бұрын

Charm it giver you a spooking

@solaireofastora7178

6 жыл бұрын

being black, that will get you shot in some places

@PhaQ2

6 жыл бұрын

Zandig : Like everywhere there is a critical mass of blacks?

"This is cutting out because it's crap, This microphone is the worst thing ever, Bleh, bleh, bleh" *why was it so funny*

The high pitch sounds like “David firth’s” “salad fingers” character

@lingaustin2854

6 жыл бұрын

I like...rusty spoons...

@goodmachines7743

6 жыл бұрын

David Trevino On his meds.

@AnnoyingAsianWitch

5 жыл бұрын

...they make me feel orgasmic....

@Wemius61

6 ай бұрын

@@lingaustin2854 I like it when the red water comes out.

I hate when my squidger's faulty

@dicapriodelorean2888

6 жыл бұрын

me too man, I've had to return like 5 squiders due to faultiness

@childeater7327

6 жыл бұрын

WaffleFive #relatable

@maxximumb

6 жыл бұрын

You can get pills for that now.

@kent80082006

6 жыл бұрын

There is a surgical option as well

@dicapriodelorean2888

6 жыл бұрын

its called a squiderectomy

Gunshots, violence: I sleep Ashens uploads a new Poundland tat special: REAL SHIT.

@deadeyecowkillz7580

6 жыл бұрын

Ashens uploads a 1hr special: *ACENDED*

I lost it at "Brexit means Brexit!" Lmfao

@otakunthevegan4206

6 жыл бұрын

T-Top Deluxe "it's like she's there in the room with you" wow that is terrifying.

@commerceserverservercommerce

6 жыл бұрын

brexit means breakfast

@commerceserverservercommerce

6 жыл бұрын

Kamina Bubbles pretty much lmao

@DylRicho

6 жыл бұрын

@Kamina Bubbles - Right there with America. :D

@notamuffin

6 жыл бұрын

"Air is in the air"

"Nothing is worse than getting glitter on things!" *rubs glittery hands on sofa*

"Weirdly bulbous in the wrong directions" is not a description I ever want to hear about anything.

@laneatkinson6441

6 жыл бұрын

Kevin Klawitter That's what I was thinking 😂

That Theresa May joke though make me laugh so hard 😂

8 modes for the voice box, 16 switch combinations. Madness.

@jamesrodney951

9 ай бұрын

There are way more than 16 combinations. Try 100s kid

@abdulmasaiev9024

9 ай бұрын

@@jamesrodney951 Bro are you drunk. 4 switches, each capable of 2 positions [on/off] -> 2^4 combinations -> exactly 16 switch combinations, like I said 5 years ago. Still, if you insist there's more, go ahead. Write just 17 different ones, it's not many at all.

3:03 "Nooooo... I've got a faulty Squidger" story of my life mate.

Died at the sound of the Theressa May Impression

"I've got a faulty squidger!" Might wanna see a doctor about that, pal

in a store in norway, i found an axe-stuck-in-head prop, and it was named "scissor" and i don't understand who could mistake a large AXE for a scissor. it's quite amazing, and i SO wanna know how it happend, as i can't think of anything that DOESN'T involve black magic or leprechauns!

Tesco were selling these tealights for £2 with Halloween packaging. They were called "SPOOKY TEALIGHTS" and I wondered how an earth this was spooky or even related to Halloween. Then I realised why... The bottom of them were just fucking painted orange.

@brandon3872

6 жыл бұрын

JamesTavRule Lol, Wilko did the same thing 😂

i hope big hairy rat becomes a regular

@geoserenity

6 жыл бұрын

bong the music industry he's -no one bloody cares you pedantic pisssnt

@zh2motorsports867

6 жыл бұрын

Geo Belmont we a Evil Hairy Rat movie

Is "A faulty Squidger" a euphemism for erectile dysfunction

@dicapriodelorean2888

6 жыл бұрын

"hey doc i got problems there" "what do you mean" "my squiders faulty' "i see..."

No "EXTEERRRMINATE"? You sadden me :(

@jenniferdowell3500

6 жыл бұрын

I want to make more accounts just to like this more times.

The high-pitched voice reminds me of the imp-creature from House of the Dead 2.

@stickman070791

6 жыл бұрын

I was just thinking the same thing. "Suffer like G did!"

@TerraMuncher

6 жыл бұрын

Yep, really made me want to play it again...if only I could find a working PC copy these days.

@Silver_wind_1987_

6 жыл бұрын

TerraMuncher the high pitched sounded like starscream on helium

It's the most wonderful time of the year Until the Christmas one

@dastumer

6 жыл бұрын

yee

@TommyDeonauthsArchives

6 жыл бұрын

da stumer Science!

@judojamie379

6 жыл бұрын

why not st.patricks day? its a day to get pissed

@chinchin2234

6 жыл бұрын

Dicey you mom gay!

@purpleravenstar

6 жыл бұрын

Diceyy Pumpkin spice everyday, leaves on the ground and cold air, bruh.

Send voice changer thing to Big Clive.

@CarrotConsumer

6 жыл бұрын

Agreed. That needs taken apart.

@mogmason6920

6 жыл бұрын

Fuzzy Electronics this needs to happen

@spicy110

6 жыл бұрын

Fuzzy Electronics yes!! 100% with that one

@tasmedic

6 жыл бұрын

IFuzzy Electronics It's only a battery, a microphone, a chip on board, some switches, an audio amp, and a speaker. Not worth of "The Clive"

Man, I really love me some SQUIDGERS

Intro genuinely scared me. I like to copy the "hello!" And just as I said it I was startled by sudden change.

All the dislikes are from Theresa May, angered at Stuarts spot on impression...

@wetlettuce4768

6 жыл бұрын

Also Boris Johnson left a dislike becuase he thought the real Theresa May was in this video

Ah Halloween, the holiday were children walk around neighborhoods and beg for candy they'll probably never eat after a week. My favorite!

5:00 Not gonna lie, I thought that was a Halloween themed recorder at first.

Stuart, your dry humor is killing me :'-D

@otakunthevegan4206

6 жыл бұрын

PV Fireworks Rule Britannia and classic dry British humour.

"high pitch and robotic, ah, thats what we call Theresa May" *DABS FURIOUSLY*

Bloody hell... are we still doing these?

@ancilodon

6 жыл бұрын

lemurjim As long as there's a pound or dollar store selling tat these MUST be done

@darrelsam419

6 жыл бұрын

The nightmare never ends

@johnsorrow1987

6 жыл бұрын

I look foward to these...which shows you i have no life whatsoever.

@aidanjameson2521

6 жыл бұрын

John Sorrow I don't think anyone here does.

@johnsorrow1987

6 жыл бұрын

Aidan Reiling...........damn.XD

11:00 David Firth?

@various3394

6 жыл бұрын

That’s what I thought!!

@GmodPlusWoW

6 жыл бұрын

So the Snake Demon sounds like David Firth? Good to know.

totally agree with you about glitter. fucking hate that shit.

@Jivetalkin13

6 жыл бұрын

onedeadsaint Glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts.

These holiday specials are the very best. Is "Evil Clever Dog" (cor, who remembers that?) secretly associated with Halloween too?

@anthonyboodram608

6 жыл бұрын

I remember the "Evil Clever Dog". Since his name is extremely similar to the Evil Hanging Bat, I would not be surprised if he was associated with Halloween in some way.

There is no Big Clive link anywhere.

I’ve been waiting for this all year now roll up Christmas tat special

The High Pitch voice sounds like something out of a David Firth animation.

I replayed the elf and cocaine line about ten times and each time it got funnier.😂

11:00 Sounds like a David Firth character.

@phantomriddleronxbox

6 жыл бұрын

That's the vibe I was getting too haha

@lingaustin2854

6 жыл бұрын

"Beetles are good at this sort of thing, don't you know."

3:29 "Oh no! It dosent work!" Got an Xbox one ad directly after that. It's a sign.

I work in a retail store that sells cheap tat like this. Every Halloween we have the same junk including a hollowed out plastic rat. When I started working there three years ago, there was one stuck to the ceiling by the tail right over the seasonal section where the Halloween stuff goes. It's still there to this day, always watching...

The Evil Bat looks like a half decent Mothman.

That one voice almost sounded like a dalek lol

@5roundsrapid263

6 жыл бұрын

Christian Turner Their voices are done with a similar box. This thing would be great for a Doctor Who convention!

"not going to unsee that for a while"... what has been seen cannot be unseen.

The "mutant fork" got me so hard that I nearly woke up my entire block with my laughing. It's 2 AM for god's sake

11:38 Ashens for the 2018 Captain Scarlet reboot

I always look forward to Stuart's Holiday Specials!

The squiggy looks excited, like "Yaaaaay, my best friend!" and then it wants a hug.

"But now, kids just inject cocaine directly into their eyeballs every morning, so I'm out of a job!"

That glittery candle will be my new alibi for being covered in strip club glitter.

So, daleks are using this voice changer xD

@LovableAmy

6 жыл бұрын

Merlin ORKO I was waiting for him to say exterminate when I heard the Dalek voice or what sound like a Dalek.

@5roundsrapid263

6 жыл бұрын

10:45 sounds like a Cyberman.

@richardenrooijen

6 жыл бұрын

Amy Koneko same here! Missed opportunity!

Stuart, glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. Once it's in your carpet, you never get rid of it.

evil hairy rat sounds like it could be a nickname for me, my dog or anyone else in my family tbh.

11:00 David Firth mode activated

ashens reviews are my favorite anime

@germanolivares4772

6 жыл бұрын

Stuart is my waifu.

@TsukiKageTora

6 жыл бұрын

Overplayed.

@Luna-gb4gu

6 жыл бұрын

TsukiKageTora you don't get a sticker then

@TsukiKageTora

6 жыл бұрын

can't give a sticker to someone online :P Still doesn't help the fact that you are participating in the downfall of a well-liked joke. People are beginning to hate then and the people who use them because it is used daily by thousands. Again: it's like the Markiplier "Where's the Blacksmith?" from a video a few years back and how almost every idiot follower commented "Where's the Blacksmith" on every video of his (multiple times) for a year until those vulture idiot fans sucked it dry.

@Luna-gb4gu

6 жыл бұрын

TsukiKageTora why the triggered paragraph

I've literally been waiting all year for this special and it did not disappoint. :D

Honestly, that "Evil Hanging Bat" reminds me more of the Mothman than it does a bat....

Stuart uploaded a video, now my night shift life has sense!

thank fuck for poundland

@thisisstuart7951

6 жыл бұрын

I miss 99p stores

Pound Land sounds like a bad Porno from the 90's

@TommyDeonauthsArchives

6 жыл бұрын

oåooåo ipip I never noticed that before. I guess our equivalent, Dollarama sounds like a black bank heist movie from the 90's.

@ZacHawkins42

6 жыл бұрын

Tommy Deonauth's Archives Dolemite!

@fryelover

6 жыл бұрын

WHY DID YOU BRING IT UP AHHH

@oversizedsweatsdress4164

6 жыл бұрын

oåooåo ipip American?

@schregen

6 жыл бұрын

Pound is the currency in the UK!

You should totaly send the voice-thing to Clive, just for the giggles.

I'm a Poundland manager and I want to help you with these! Should you need any help that is. Fan of yours for a few years, keep up the good work

Ashens has succeeded in creating by far the most terrifying halloween video, not because of any scares, blood or gore but because of how truly horrifying it is that this crap is being sold at all.

I actually kinda like the "Evil Hanging Bat", cause it looks like the Mothman.

I love this channel It’s content is quality and humorous! And I just love that intro Ashens, keep up the great videos!

lets sing the Halloween song everybody! "a" its a very short song

@TommyDeonauthsArchives

6 жыл бұрын

Orangethorpe Piss arsenic!

@carrotman

6 жыл бұрын

Piss arsenic. Ass Parsnip.

*This is What i Subscribed For*

Thanks Ashens, I'm not going to unsee that for a while! :D

Every Halloween for the past several years or so I get excited about the thought of the Silver Scull appearing on KZread once again... it looks like I’ll have to wait once again until next year; possibly.

Imagine Ashens and Big Clive as gay dads adopting a Korean baby

@1234bobfox

6 жыл бұрын

Ashens is more like a sarcastic uncle than a dad

@semaphor6643

6 жыл бұрын

bobfox tbf imagine having him as your sarcastic tech savvy uncle

@The8347135

6 жыл бұрын

And name him "Annyong"

@godzamoongus

6 жыл бұрын

I prefer not tol

@mrflibble1259

6 жыл бұрын

AIVOXA an excellent gay household

Evil Hairy Rat looks like a series 3 mighty boosh villain.

Ashens is one of the few youtubers who will always make me laugh

It's the most wonderful time of the year when Ashens is doing a Halloween-Cheer!

11:00 sounds like the Anne-Droid from Doctor Who

Darn he didn't issue a spoop warning now I scare.

This is the first Ashens' Halloween special I've been subscribed to watch when it happened lol

I find Evil Hanging Bat and Evil Hairy Rat to be quite charming

Actually according to retail, it's Christmas.

Did I miss the link to the Nosulus Rift teardown?

"Y'alrite lads" best rat voice ever

woo ive been waitin for this for a whole 2 years

Ah, nothing says glittery halloween sink plunger like Final Fantasy victory music. Truly this is halloween :)

The rat looks like a prop from an old Doctor Who!

@IanC14

6 жыл бұрын

DdlyHeadshot probably was

the day ashens posts the Halloween special is the day I live for

Glitter...the bane of Ashens and brown sofas everywhere. Happy Halloween you Grumpy Onion.

It didn't appear in the endcard for me, but I found the Big Clive video he's talking about here kzread.info/dash/bejne/h5etz81poZqWkbQ.html so there it is if anyone else needs the link.

@ChristopherSobieniak

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks.

I've been waiting for this special for a few months!

I love the Captain Scarlet reference with the mysterons. Captain Scarlett is an awesome TV show

Since sunday i have been binging ashens videos so far i've watched 30 videos. Great thing about being sick with covid.