Until married I did not know there is a vast difference in the direction the toilet paper rolls out. One is the correct and natural way, the other is how demons penetrate humanity to destroy all that is good. Every time I have to reload the toilet paper, I needed a minute to try to remember the right way to prevent a tragedy.

@heatherlikey

2 жыл бұрын

🤣😂🤣😂

@derekeano

2 жыл бұрын

One way is actually a lot easier to roll it to take sheets then the other way.

@EEPhD

Жыл бұрын

It’s over the top unless you have a cat or a two year old.

@leilatimeful

Жыл бұрын

I laughed so hard because this is true 🤣🤣

@allyturner2024

Жыл бұрын

I dated a guy that said not only does it have to be facing the right way, but had to fold the end piece into a triangle to make it “look good”. What’s next, gonna organize all my canned goods..?? Okay thanks MARTIN (please watch sleeping with the enemy 1991 if you don’t get this) 😂

The old man impression was spot on

@Jennynine

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly like my grandpa used to be lol

@killakangz5317

5 жыл бұрын

definitely.

@dablet

4 жыл бұрын

im gonna be an mumbling old man. i just know it.

@blufiyah6996

4 жыл бұрын

Real🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣l funny!!!!! I've seen that!!!

@holdtrue2021

4 жыл бұрын

@@blufiyah6996 dead 😂

A woman once said to Winston Churchill, “If you were my husband I’d give you poison “ Winston replied, “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d take it”. 😂

@ritakisil1508

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@rmtl3140

Жыл бұрын

Ol' Winston. At a State dinner, there was a waitress who was very rude to him. To deal with it, he asked her in front of anyone if she'd sleep with him for 10,000 pounds. She looked around, smiled and said, 'yes!'. Then he asked her if she'd sleep with him for 10 pounds. Irritated, she replied, 'No, what kind of woman do you think I am?" He answered, "We've already established that madam. Now we're just dickering over the price." Priceless!

@kenwilliams2916

Жыл бұрын

The Woman was Nancy Astor who became an MP in 1919-over the years their hostility became more and more pronounced

@mja91352

10 ай бұрын

@@rmtl3140 It is priceless, even though Churchill has nothing to o with the witticism.

@stevew1904

10 ай бұрын

@@mja91352 Not sure about this particular quote, but Churchill was renowned for his incisive wit. After a few too many whiskeys, a woman told him “You sir are drunk” to which he replied “And you madam are ugly, but tomorrow I’ll be sober”. On the campaign trail, he asked a guy “Can I count on your vote in the election?”. Guy told him “I’d rather vote for the devil than vote for you!”. Churchill’s response “Well since the devil isn’t running in this election, can I count on your vote?”

I solved that problem. I am 69 years old and I refuse to get a hearing aid.

@SaulGoodmun

4 жыл бұрын

I solved the problem too! 👏😎 👖🍆 MGTOW

@vondahe

4 жыл бұрын

I’m 49 and I will remember your advice, George. Thank you!

@samuellee2107

4 жыл бұрын

@@vondahe 😂😂😂😂😂

@FunkadelicFeed

4 жыл бұрын

Dude!

@ACabel

4 жыл бұрын

MY dad does this to my mom! LMAO Oh he makes me laugh!!

Compromise is the key to a happy marriage. My wife will admit she's right if I am willing to admit I'm wrong

@thomastom888

4 жыл бұрын

Hahaha brilliant

@c50ge

4 жыл бұрын

Jimmy Warburton been married 34 years. Moved into our current house, my wife wanted a 13 in tv in our bedroom(I wanted a 19 inch tv) we compromised and got a 13 inch tv. Life is great!

@supernerd7093

4 жыл бұрын

MGTOW learn it and live it!

@drewbranch7700

4 жыл бұрын

Jimmy Warburton more like negotiating rather than compromise because with compromise sooner or later there will be resentment.

@zakiazainab1170

4 жыл бұрын

Well said!

Until I got married I didn't know there was a right way to put the milk into the fridge.

@shamanbeartwo3819

5 жыл бұрын

lol!

@michaelr1664

5 жыл бұрын

What do you mean? How many ways are there to put the milk in?

@richarddarlington1139

5 жыл бұрын

Let me guess... Do not put the milk in the door. Put it in the back, where it's colder. Am I right?

@supersharda

5 жыл бұрын

azsteve48 🤣🤣🤣

@Qdailyusa

5 жыл бұрын

@@richarddarlington1139 it should be put in the door actually! lol

"Are those you underwear" "I sure hope so or I have a few questions of my own"!

@felipegarciatn

4 жыл бұрын

My wife has asked the question lawd knows how many times. I'm using this next time she asks. Just letting everyone here know in case I go missing 💀💀💀

@restoretheearth2829

4 жыл бұрын

Died laughing.

@restoretheearth2829

4 жыл бұрын

@Dale Hemme +++ I feel so sorry for you and your negative outlook. You need dozens of hugs and a cup of spearing tea with honey.

@restoretheearth2829

4 жыл бұрын

@Dale Hemme ++ Thank you. Oh, that was spearmint tea. Doggone spell-check on this phone.

Had to close my laptop before the end coz my wife asked me what I was laughing at!

@whatthedeuce

4 жыл бұрын

Wise man

@Renasense

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not so sure about that; show her, so she can see what you choose not to say to her in the same situation. I've found that it's where you can distinguish yourself from other men that creates value, and (hopefully) lead to a truly happy life. (Still working on this btw, so nothing is certain!)

@StreetSmartification

4 жыл бұрын

At least you are lucky that you can use your laptop!

@tanyabattaglia93

4 жыл бұрын

@@StreetSmartification what a sad comment 💔😂

@davegoodwin1848

4 жыл бұрын

You needed a cover story. Shoulda told her you were just looking at porn....

Nothing more humorous than actual conversations and everyday life. Well done sir.

@judypailette2671

6 ай бұрын

😅

Comedy without cursing is quite refreshing .... I curse like a sailor.

@garbinator09

5 жыл бұрын

I’m trying my best to tone it down... Its when I get together with old mate’s after the funeral is done. Mouth goes right back in time. Shocks me I once talked so frilling bad! Retired state corrections

@phyllisrasmussen4701

5 жыл бұрын

This is good situation comedy. Reminds me of some of are old comedians, Remember Red S? Bob Hope?

@gwenyverreking5565

5 жыл бұрын

You’d love Tim Hawkins then!!!

@AthenaGM

5 жыл бұрын

I do too and in 3 languages. Is too much, trying to cut it😩.

@leemontgomery7914

5 жыл бұрын

Mr. Allen, I’ve not laughed that hard in years‼️😂 Thank you‼️‼️

Until I got married I didn't know the best getaway vacation is spending time alone on the toilet seat.

@Narcisphan

3 жыл бұрын

Omg i'm dying 🤣🤣🤣

@lauS7

2 жыл бұрын

Omg, so true

@maxchen7229

2 жыл бұрын

My office is my toilet 😃😃

@southernstargazer1951

Жыл бұрын

Spot on.

@heidi2166

Жыл бұрын

The Uncle John's bathroom reader series of which there are a lot of volumes are priceless. Buy all of them. You'll laugh yourself off that seat but I also learned more from those books than I ever did in school

My favorite is when my wife says we need to do something she actually means that I need to do something. And being the happy man that I am I go take care of it. Mumble,mumble.😂

@heatherlikey

2 жыл бұрын

Keep up the good work!

What relief clean humor. Love this guy.

@lcloete5332

5 жыл бұрын

Then also watch Barry Hilton

@achillesjesuitas2642

5 жыл бұрын

Dirty underware

@juliesunshine1146

4 жыл бұрын

Check out Brian Regan

No profanity just pure observational real life humor. On point my man !

It's sad/scary how accurate this is.

@RB-xv4si

4 жыл бұрын

SmoothJK right. To the extent that it’s really not even funny.

@underestimatedsmilin2429

4 жыл бұрын

Then maybe your not in sync.

@dcardigan13

2 жыл бұрын

I felt a little bad about the old man mumbling 8 feet behind his wife joke. But this is an interesting set

"What'd you say to me?" "I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!"

Love the fact that you kept it clean and funny without using vulgarity. I've been married 46 years and still can't bridge the communication barrier any better than at first.

@onsight2822

4 жыл бұрын

Cheers for the advice! Sounds like hell before Hell !

@mingpeeps

4 жыл бұрын

YAY2020

@mja91352

10 ай бұрын

Tr speaking clearly and truthfully. That works!

Jokes are half-truths, which is why great jokes are timeless. God bless all the real men out there who find the humor in the hard work of being a good husband 👍🏼

@reallyrightpersonafycta4007

5 жыл бұрын

Caesar Santos No hitting and no cheating are the only real rules. Everything else is open to logical debate. Anyone, on either side, who goes back is a fool. Getting Physical on either account, even once = marriage death. I accidently hit you, or accidently f'd your friend etc. No tolerance, no 'counseling' . DONE Everything else is caveat for pussies who accept b.s. standards or try to rationalize insanity. People who love each other don't strike each other. And married folks can't date. DUH! Doesnt make you a man for not standing up to it, or for yourself. News flash, she doesn't respect you if you allow such. Early on I made sure my wife understood all this. Even HOW she chooses to speak to me. In rational terms or not at all. Worlds full of fools accepting b.s. every day.

@Rachmanfan4life

5 жыл бұрын

You mean the pathetic losers who kiss their Wives asked daily just to get laid… God how sad

@TheTruthseeker59

5 жыл бұрын

well said man!

@sampsonorson

5 жыл бұрын

When you say good husband, do you mean being stress constantly for doing nothing wrong, while you find humor and tell her it’s fine to do it?

@truthseeker4388

4 жыл бұрын

By good husband you mean a slave who lies to themselves.

The old man arm waggle was my favorite part 😄

Great routine Jeff! And proof that comedy doesn’t need to be vulgar or obscene to be hilarious 😆👍👍

My first wifespeak I learned was Are you hungry, which meant, I'm hungry let's stop to eat lol. Of course I said no and kept driving

@Stefan-

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah of course.

@moarroz

5 жыл бұрын

You should have figured that out watching your parents 😂😂...Mine would make my dad pull 5 u-turns then say NOBODY IS EATING! FORGET IT I'M NOT HUNGRY NOW...That's why my brain is more Male...I refuse to turn out that way lol

@ilaser4064

5 жыл бұрын

@@moarroz yes the old classic demanding something and if it's not instantly met, the subsequent refusal to allow the demand to ever be met.

@andrewbowers_

5 жыл бұрын

I Laser: That’s because women are adult children. The childish tantrums remain for life.

@moarroz

5 жыл бұрын

@@ilaser4064 yes! Everyone suffered not just my dad. Just be ready for her kraft mac n cheese replacement 😂 some BS

If Jeff Dunham's Walter was a real person...

@cameronmcpherson6364

5 жыл бұрын

Jeff Dunham is not even funny by accident.

@lucaswhite12

5 жыл бұрын

Ha! You haven't been paying attention, the difference is this guy is happy! :)

@adeelansari

5 жыл бұрын

@@lucaswhite12 for sure 😊 completely agree

@bykjdus

5 жыл бұрын

Now thats funny af

@maxziel

5 жыл бұрын

Spot on observation.

Had he married a Latina, he would never get a question 😂. My mother would have said “pick those up , i had two children not three” 😂

@dans4270

4 жыл бұрын

Smart mom

@restoretheearth2829

4 жыл бұрын

@@dans4270 ++ My German mother would have said the same thing.

@aneve24269

4 жыл бұрын

Right, we Latin people (I am Italian, so 100% Latin) don't ask strange and stupid question, we just say "pick up all your sh*t around the house!"

@jonanderson5137

4 жыл бұрын

@Pop Lyle Different culture. She pulls a crazy act and she gets a slap. It's give and take. The USA went kinda nuts 60 years ago and now feelings being hurt gets cops called.

@rishirocks1239

3 жыл бұрын

@@jonanderson5137 which country?

had an older man tell me son NEVER go for the Win go for the peace...

@phoqueewe7230

4 жыл бұрын

Older men like that have never dealt with these younger women. Peace would be 2 fingers up on the way out the door.

@vh6307

2 жыл бұрын

He's one of the Few Wisemen's Club!!☺️

“I hope you sit in the water. I don’t care.” 😂😂😂💀💀💀

@holdtrue2021

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂dead😂😉

It goes both ways. I can be dragging a bag of garbage out to the curb and he looks up from his paper and says, "Whatta ya doin'?" I say, "I'm taking the body of that burglar I killed out, it's starting to stink." He says, "Leave it, I'll get it when I'm finished reading." Five days later, the rats are nibbling his toes, and he's still on page two.

@PossumLady8262

5 жыл бұрын

😂

@janalogsdon

5 жыл бұрын

So very true

@mwakampundu239

5 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@johannax0910

5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂

@Ericadbury

5 жыл бұрын

Sooooo true

This dude should get an award. Spot on.

I love listening to this man’s jokes about his wife. Wish you and your wife more happiness, sir! :)

"Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" Sir, you have saved my marriage. You have no idea how often I now shut my mouth and repeat this over and over in my head like a mantra. Seriously.

@jshepard152

4 жыл бұрын

Dr. Phil has been saying that for about fifteen years.

@heatherlikey

2 жыл бұрын

Secret to happiness...😁

@vicholtreman1405

2 жыл бұрын

Update: I ended up getting a divorce.

@TheFockerizer

Жыл бұрын

@@vicholtreman1405 me too and since my divorce i have been on 2 cruises so are you happy with your life now?

@vicholtreman1405

Жыл бұрын

@@TheFockerizer Haha, I got divorced not too long after I wrote that comment. Go figure. 😛

You know his wife has to hv a great sense of humor too... Even if she is up a wall frost bitten...lol Xoxo

@demitrisolvinski

5 жыл бұрын

It's true, Tammy is a real hoot!

@joleneangelicsingarrett5837

5 жыл бұрын

@Demitri Solvinski i heard some of his other stand up about her... And it reminds me of stuff id to... Like drawing on back of his head... 😂😂😂 xoxo

@conorf8091

4 жыл бұрын

Xoxoxoxo is not words

The code changes every second......it's an old code, a new code and a code you don't even know yet. !

"Your looking at the most powerful piece of cotton on planet earth" That got me. 😆

And being able to laugh about the difficult aspects their relationship is a big reason why this man has been successfully married for 30 years and counting.

@savannah6206

5 жыл бұрын

He's a good Christian and he loves his wife...I bet the wife is sitting out there somewhere laughing at his jokes. I saw this man for the first time on Gaither Homecoming some years ago.

@Kipx99

5 жыл бұрын

"Successfully"

@3monsters014

4 жыл бұрын

Its parenting.. Me: Clean your room Child:goes grabs bicycle. Me: where do you think your going Child: Fine I will clean my room

@annadrazic9733

4 жыл бұрын

A lot of man are crying how horrible married life is,ask a man who lost his wife what he thinks?

@palamidagheo4520

4 жыл бұрын

@@annadrazic9733 15 years ago i did ask my grandpa.he said it is very difficult for him.then i teach him how the washing machine works how microwave and dishwasher works.guess what ? he is 91 now and want an electrical bike

😂 Man I couldn't stop laughing, I had to pause the video and walk out. "... Columbo..." 😂😂😂

@jonfromstearns

5 жыл бұрын

Taqveem Khalid I said that my wife once. Not a good thing to say.

@joysingers6193

5 жыл бұрын

Me too!😂

"Practicing how to leave for golf" 😂🤣😂 this was so good

@edmisterenterprisesllc4650

4 жыл бұрын

"Ima put these in the car baby, and Ima come back and mow our lawn" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@robertblake1032

3 жыл бұрын

Edmister Enterprises LLC o o p

@Razi98

3 жыл бұрын

I was out of air by this point 🤣🤣

@mark.lawrence

3 жыл бұрын

still giggling at that one... what a line...

"Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy?"

What a blessing to be able to hear funny comedy without cursing! I'll show this to my kids! 😂😂😂

INCREDBLE! AND HERE'S WHY.....This man just provided us with 5:06 of the funniest material I have heard in a LONG time and think about it...not ONE "F-BOMB" dropped, not ONE "S-BOMB" dropped and the Lord's name wasn't taken in vane one time. See people, it CAN BE DONE!

@tearfrost984

4 жыл бұрын

Bunk Man dude is a Christian, that's why :)

@bunkman64

4 жыл бұрын

I know that. However, one smack on the thumb with a hammer will set that Christianity aside for a few moments trust me....I am one.

@Wattfgoogle

4 жыл бұрын

Praise be! Praise be! Amen 🙏

Kind Sir, please accept salute from this humble married man.

1:24 he nailed the old mans walk 😂😂

I don't know if I should laugh, or I should cry. It's tough to be married!

@Joyful-Heart777

5 жыл бұрын

David Vianello - yes, it sure builds character :) but it’s worth it. Also teaches us to be more easy going I think

@lolhaha8922

5 жыл бұрын

What kind of wife, are you guys married too?!!

@4Mikes4Mindset4

5 жыл бұрын

Just say no duh. It's a lesson.

@emaambition9378

4 жыл бұрын

Blein Selemon you must have a good wife I assumed?

@lolhaha8922

4 жыл бұрын

@@emaambition9378 Haha No, I have a husband. I just never heard him complain about me like that. I am sure, if he felt that way about me, he would have divorced me.

I could listen to this dude all day. He's clean, he's funny, he speaks truth.

Oh my goodness I LOVE THIS GUY!! I'd never heard of him until just three days ago and I have been binge watching him non-stop since and I've laughed so much I may have thrown out my back LOL

My lady called today and asked "where are you? " my reply " what do you want" ? She hung up on me!

@navneetkaushik2482

4 жыл бұрын

Let me guess , you ate dinner alone

@anthonyvirgillito537

4 жыл бұрын

Navneet Kaushik on that couch aswell none the less

@Thundering_Banshee

3 жыл бұрын

Wrong Answer.

No matter how many times I've seen this it's still funny. 😂😂

Jeff today is my parents anniversary. I can show them this video and I know they will laugh. I don't have to worry about curse words or graphic material. Thanks so much.

@lowspeak

4 жыл бұрын

Did they laugh?

@jyranechjm5766

4 жыл бұрын

The mum probably did. But the dad is still miserable like he has been, keeping quiet about everything in the marriage for many years now.

“Just practicing leavin’ for golf” 😂😂😂

The book Love & Respect said all the truth couples should ever need to finally get peace: she requires love. He requires respect. Both are a must for it to work.

@grumpysquid

4 жыл бұрын

Dale Hemme that’s why Only one definition matters: God’s. Human defining and redefining love is futile.

@elwoodblues9613

4 жыл бұрын

What I've seen if the couples are either Baby Boomers or Generation X, because both generations have been infected with Feminism: The men love their wives, and want to show them lots of love, but their wives show them only indifference & contempt and not respect. This is the case for both couples in church and out of church. Why do these women want their husbands to live in such an environment? They should stop playing games with these good men and file for divorce already. The good news is that I don't see this in the young couples who were raised by these dads who've had their lives beat out of them and these moms who say "I want it all now."

Ah wifespeak, the original enigma code. If the germans would have used this during WWII we would have never cracked it.

@rubenleal4821

5 жыл бұрын

Keep in mind that it took a gay man to figure out the enigma code.

@Fern635

5 жыл бұрын

...and this is a comedy video, so let's not dwell on how we thanked him for his service.

@missoula2213

5 жыл бұрын

Since it's real life and time + tragedy = comedy: Alan Turing killed himself via a cyanide-laced apple two years after the British government forced his chemical castration. 60 years later, his government apologized and over-turned his conviction of gross-indecency.

@ralfi955

5 жыл бұрын

Das ist Richtig

@kevinpaynter

5 жыл бұрын

Well that escalated quickly.

this guy has been married longer than ive been alive👏👏👏 and hes one of my favorite comedian

Jeff , thank you. Christian My wife and I have been married many years...and are still best friends that can knot seem to get enough of each other....we love to laugh and share....thank your sincere

@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823

4 жыл бұрын

Good! I was SO TIRED of hearing guys whine about how they hate being married and the other half whine how they never will. Meanwhile, you'll note, 90+% of people get married, and men...1st thing they do is get married AGAIN after a death. Immediately. She's not cold yet. Women are like, i dunno. I'm happy now...lol

This man's jokes were cleaner then a Marine and Soldier's bed room lol XD

@joequillun7790

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, but he was still pretty funny tho, don't-cha-think?

@jacobsjournal3554

4 жыл бұрын

@@joequillun7790 no no no for sure sir that's what I meant =-)

Marriage is like a three ring circus. The engagement ring, the wedding ring then the suffer ring. The two greatest words in the English language...... Yes dear.

@blackdynamite7177

5 жыл бұрын

Or I'm Sorry!!!

@patriciahopey1384

5 жыл бұрын

Bitterness is never funny .

@patriciahopey1384

5 жыл бұрын

@WildWonkyWizard well there is Machinery to do that for you now

@ethandenton3393

5 жыл бұрын

Ugh. I hate all this. It sounds so pathetic. Could you please tell me that there's dignity in doing this? Im not married and don't have a girlfriend but it dirsbt really naje me want to when this is all i hear about. I don't plan to be constantly bossed around by my wife like everyone seems to be.. Is this really what everyone experiences? What am I missing?

@scottlang7271

4 жыл бұрын

Ethan, don't stress. The thing is, everyone's family "culture" (i.e. how we do things) differs, so when two people live together, the differences become apparent. Many (not all) men are not great with detail, or with being proactive. Many (not all) women express themselves in an indirect way, and wonder why their husbands don't pick up on subtle hints. As a result, most (all?) couples argue about how to do housework, whether it's how to cut vegetables the "correct" way, or hang clothes, or how often to vacuum, etc. There is immense dignity in this, and it lies in finding balance; to change from "we'll do it may" to finding "our way" of doing whatever. Some things are more important to one person than the other, some things really matter to both. In the first instance, a compromise helps, in the second, either a negotiated solution, or an agreement to disagree, can assist. But having said all that, on a day-to-day basis, it can be hard. Everyone goes through it, which is why it is such a great topic for humour. For a really good examination of this, Google "Mark Gungor", especially his show about men's brains and women's brains.

Real dedication to the game, he practices leaving for golf, lol😂😂😂😂😂😂!😎

@johnree6106

5 жыл бұрын

Hey that's what I do, but for work

When I need a good laugh, this guy is the help I need! Been married almost 10 years, and what a journey so far, but I wouldn't trade my hubby for nothin'!! No matter what, I just love him!! God didn't make a mistake when he brought him my way! Thank you Jeff Allen for keeping it real and funny!! You are an awesome comedian!!

I didn't know old men were so funny! No wonder kids start laughing when I pass by!

Tryna win back all the arguments he's thrown away all these years 😂😂😂😁

Six men to carry a man to his grave and one good woman to put him there.

@MScorpioM

5 жыл бұрын

Amen

@patriciahopey1384

5 жыл бұрын

Ouch.

@patriciahopey1384

5 жыл бұрын

@WildWonkyWizard if words could make wishes come true ..you'd have said differently. 3cheers from Canada

@firesign4297

5 жыл бұрын

😳😄😄😄👍👍

@Locomaid

5 жыл бұрын

The earlier, the better 😂😂😂

Pray for me: I have a Filipina wife so I have to deal with the code plus a language barrier! But Jeff Allen makes me laugh about it.

@mrsmacca126

4 жыл бұрын

Scott Burton that’s what you get. Marry American.

@waynebryan9496

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah but shes probably drop dead gorgeous.

@zahrahusain5965

3 жыл бұрын

Wayne Bryan hardly any of them are gorgeous 😏

No matter what race and religion you are. Married couple have same story

@fashionkiller5052

4 жыл бұрын

Rizwan Rafique universal truth

@differentparadigm

4 жыл бұрын

@Mr Man it's a joke, we shouldn't take the life lessons and advices from jokes too seriously.

@dennischang2803

4 жыл бұрын

@Rizwan Rafique so true..... unless wife says differently 😅😅

@ytcensorship8180

4 жыл бұрын

yeah ,divorce!😂

@Razi98

3 жыл бұрын

Off-topic but the kid in your profile is so adorable! God bless her.

I'm not sure I could go the whole round with this video. I had to pause it to catch my breath. During that time I had an epiphany... Hole cow... I didn't know he married the same woman I did!

@svpjef

5 жыл бұрын

Bill Yost haha nice!

@cthulpiss

5 жыл бұрын

Sooo.... it was your underwear ?

@mimilong3817

4 жыл бұрын

Bill Yost: Oh, hmmm...maybe those were your underwear on the floor.🤔

@davemuckeye

4 жыл бұрын

Bill Yost ... our wives _ALL_ graduate from the same "Wives University"... some just come out with Higher Distinctions than others...

Old school they dont make em like this anymorr

Sometimes I have to ask "Am I happy Buttercup?" Oh, you better believe you're happy! 🤣🤣

“Yes dear” and “ your so right” works for me after 30 years.

@dennischang2803

4 жыл бұрын

Max Stone yes... and make sure you dont ever add the word "always" between "so" and "right"..... i learnt that the hard way 😅😅😅🤣🤣🤪

@waynebryan9496

4 жыл бұрын

But u look 35?

@maxstone9780

4 жыл бұрын

Wayne Bryan 58

@waynebryan9496

4 жыл бұрын

Wait what? Wassup with your avatar? Is that you?

@maxstone9780

4 жыл бұрын

Wayne Bryan Ha Ha. I do the LensCrafters headshots.

Halarious...I'm picking up a cross between a Tim Allen and Walter the old man puppet from Jeff Dunham😎he nailed married life.. thanks for the laughs after work.keep it up.!!

@dennisduran8500

5 жыл бұрын

Walter, the old man.

King of Dry Bar Comedy.

Did you know that a dishwasher can be stacked wrongly ...ever time !

@NightmareonWWW

4 жыл бұрын

Thats so true, No matter how I try to copy her it's always wrong, I wash up by hand now, it's easier!

@karthick100

4 жыл бұрын

Dave Daniels I wish I could do 10,000 likes

@palamidagheo4520

4 жыл бұрын

@@NightmareonWWW i tried that but i am using to much water

@Prakriti2041

4 жыл бұрын

as long as they are placed in a way all the dishes get clean, and they don't clank against eachother

@mz40oz

4 жыл бұрын

Psshhh at least u load the dishwasher every now and then lol

I never cheated on my wife because I have one woman always pissed off at me. Why would I want another?

@Acdhcup267

4 жыл бұрын

@Jhon Ester Cringe

@farhadmiah8968

4 жыл бұрын

You got that right... who needs or wants the headache

@clublulu399

3 жыл бұрын

I don’t mind women being pissed off at me. Just play with my balls

@jaceyneubauer4359

3 жыл бұрын

Smart man lol

@danaputera7197

2 жыл бұрын

Sir, with all due respect If you want to be treated like a gentleman, be a gentleman...

This man is saving the new generation with his words of wisdom here! 😂😂

This guy is great! Frist time viewer of his material and best of all NO SWEARING!! Great job Jeff!!!!

It's refreshing to see that clean humor still exists; and that there are men out there that aren't afraid to make light of real life stuff like this. Thank you, Sir.

Oh my gosh the couple you just described is basically my grandparents hahaha. I have seen that exact situation with them walking down the street in Florida no less

when i got married my dad had one word of ad vice. always thank her for the meal made for you. you dont have to say it was good. but you DO have to thank her for fixing it for you.

@sarahs3988

5 жыл бұрын

That is good advice, and if it is good, tell her that too.

OMG this is soo funny and ironically perfect timing lol. My 10yr old son was learning the ave time men vs women live. Came home and asked why women live longer then men? I believe in educated/honest answers and told him "no one really knows the actual answer but sometimes women can be complicated" without missing a beat he responds with "so i'm gonna die young because women stress us to death" hahahaha I lost it laughing soo hard! Omg! at 10 He already gets it! lmao!

@WolframiteWraith

5 жыл бұрын

Well it's more likely because men are more prone to risk taking behavior and being 'manly' can mean not going to the doctor until you don't actually need them to tell you you're dying.

@emilyrose9760

5 жыл бұрын

@@WolframiteWraith Yes, that sounds about right or at the very least partially right. I know too many grown men that brush it off and refuse to see a Dr unless they have tried everything else and are out of ideas lol. However it was a random question that I was not prepared to answer and being 10 i didn't want a complicated answer lol however now that i'm looking back I shouldve just said because they don't like visiting their Dr's/being healthy! haha

@maem7636

5 жыл бұрын

Amelia Andrews , LoL 😁

@foshoucitron4595

5 жыл бұрын

@@WolframiteWraith Well, actually it's because they enjoy dying on their own terms...Medicine is all about disempowerment.

@3122tan

5 жыл бұрын

@@WolframiteWraith when I was studying biology at uni I remember being told that it's probably due to the protective effect of estrogen. There are measures of life expectancy that take your points into consideration and there's still a significant gap between the sexes so likely it is something biological like estrogen. Not sure if that's been confirmed scientifically or if my professor liked to just state his hypotheses as fact

Seriously, this kinda stuff should be mandatory viewing for young people about to marry. 100% accurate and could save untold heartache in the early years when they’re still figuring out communication. Brilliant clean comedy, a rare thing these days, well done!

🤣🤣🤣 my other half just came in the room. She thought I was crying, I was 🤣

The Hazardous Question: What are you thinking? Never, NEVER answer that with anything other than, "Nothing."

My first time seeing him I love it 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I haven’t heard of this dude ever and he had me dying! Gonna binge watch all of his stuff now. 😂

@cafe8271

4 жыл бұрын

Do it while the getting is good, i have an eary feeling he wont be alive much longer.

One of my most favorite comics! He has relationships down cold. Spot on.

Now this guy is the funniest I've seen in years! Sent this to my son and son-in-law!

"just practicing leaving for golf" LOLOL 😂

@belindaspechtenhauser6621

4 жыл бұрын

What a classic! Need to inform couple of guy friends of mine how to master the "pre Golf escape"!!!

Mister Jeff Allen you are my new favorite comedian. You not only make me laugh, but you do it in a way that I see other people's points of view a little bit better

Amen brother!!..I live to serve she who must be obeyed!!

If a man goes into the woods and speaks.and his wife doesn't here him, would he still be wrong?

@fashionkiller5052

4 жыл бұрын

Paul met Debbie yes

@jasonalangriffin

4 жыл бұрын

Hear

@fashionkiller5052

4 жыл бұрын

MissMiia one time my husband dream cheated... I’m still not over it

@patriciawalton986

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@MrMadnessHero

4 жыл бұрын

No

I laughed so much that my tears out of my eyes! I should watch this video 36 years ago when I married! 😂

“.....Simple, direct and right to the point...we’d be communicating at the highest human level using language....the way God intended.....I sure hope they are otherwise I got a few questions of my own” literally laughed so hard I cried. 😂😂😂 I honestly never make my man guess. I am simple, direct and to the point and like the same in return. It works, ladies, try it! So true!

Was married 38+ years. Thank you for the humorous memories. This qas great!

Clean and funny as hey. Best I’ve seen in ages! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Never heard of this guy before but I can tell he's an old master whose been killing for decades. A true pro

Thanks Jeff for allowing a bit of humor on a very common subject on marriage.

I been married 25 years, hes right. I stopped arguing a long time ago, even in cases I was 100 percent right I was wrong. Now I dont argue and happy.

When I first started dating my wife I told her I'm not good at puzzles or riddles tell me what you want because if you make me guess I will get it wrong

@vondahe

4 жыл бұрын

I’ve tried that, too. It doesn’t work. They only remember what benefits them later in an argument.

@MarcG7424

4 жыл бұрын

Well I've been divorced before and she knew I didn't mind being single so maybe she took me seriously besides we dated 2 years before we got married so I had a time to see if it took

@MarcG7424

4 жыл бұрын

Wife to Husband: Honey just tell me the truth. Husbands Brain: Don't you dare

@josepherhardt164

4 жыл бұрын

And did you have this put on a branding iron and mark yourself with it? Because women don't remember ... things that they don't want to remember.

@adriennk9444

4 жыл бұрын

My husband told me to be direct and say what I want, otherwise he won't understand. I try.

Marriage jokes are what makes it fun. Usually that's how a married man releases anger. My wife roles in laughter when I roast her. It relieves me and we just keep staying married lol.

@timothyn4699

4 жыл бұрын

humor is a great way to de-escalate situations, gets people thinking but also has the social intelligence to not be overly harsh about things / take life too seriously. Even if you're burned by it, I think most people can still appreciate/respect good wit done tactfully ;p

@newperspective1318

4 жыл бұрын

@Dale Hemme What does that have to do with this conversation. What happened to you? And yes I've done my share of suffering for false accusations. We have all suffered in many ways.

This is a universal concept! Clean, funny comedy! 👍🏾

"I'm going bowling Columbo!" Lol

Sooooooo funny and not one curse word . AWESOME 👏👏👏👏

This is THE funniest video I have seen in a very long time!!!

I absolutely love Jeff !

Saw Jeff live in early 2000’s my stomach never hurt so bad from laughing!