It's real big of Theo to put this out for Tom Segura. Now the healing starts.

@natethevillain596

5 жыл бұрын

Daniel Kunkler I feel like him and schaub set this up to explain the segura situation 😂😂

@giggityeffyou

5 жыл бұрын

Jesse Wightman I think if Khalyla tells Bobby Lee she fucked Theo, he would have a long conversation with her, yell a little and still stay with her

@angelcabrera3015

5 жыл бұрын

lmao #TheoGate #ChangeTheSubject

@jcarola00

5 жыл бұрын

damn you were really early on theogate son

@juancmost

5 жыл бұрын

She was a date? Like just met? He fell in love with her after a few days!!! Pussy fart.

Whitney Cummings said it best " The more sober Theo gets, the more he seems to be on drugs".

@jcjs33

2 жыл бұрын

and that's good because people on drugs are just 'trying to be themselves' but can't be themselves because they are on drugs........once they are themselves all bets are off and there's no need to question or defend my existence or 'doings'...om

@misterblueshoe

2 жыл бұрын

That's really common for the first 5 years of sobriety. It's a roller-coaster of emotions. So yeah I agree

@joshforeman95

Жыл бұрын

I wanted to like this comment but its already on 420

@paulovalente738

Жыл бұрын

That woman never said anything worth a fuck

This is the funniest apology I've ever heard

@TheBrandonDawson

4 жыл бұрын

Hands down funniest apology.

@vampmode9132

3 жыл бұрын

Onwards

@sirf4ce

3 жыл бұрын

Sober sex is for children!!! Out of context, that is an amazing sentence! With context, I am crying laughing!

@tylerwhite3862

3 жыл бұрын

Where's the funny part? I must've missed it

@MaxP374

3 жыл бұрын

@Giddy89 😂😂😂

I was going to take my Dad to a Theo show for the old man's birthday but, now..Im not so sure I should. I don't want Von blowing out pops candle, trynna get him a mouth fulla cake.

@anthonygustafson4713

2 жыл бұрын

😂

@schnitzel_crumbs

Жыл бұрын

I read this in Theo’s voice lmao

@terrellsmith6715

Жыл бұрын

Lmao funny bro

@ammim6797

Жыл бұрын

LMFAO 😂

@djhowell5273

Жыл бұрын

Hey maybe your dad will appreciate your gesture

The caller kinda sounds like Brendon Schaub 😂😂

@samuelstalcup

5 жыл бұрын

Gabriel Ochoa omfg bahAhbAAbhA

@fropick

5 жыл бұрын

YES!!! Exactly what I thought!

@22.NUU.DRU.22

5 жыл бұрын

...it is. Staged. Disappointing.

@CrayTechTV

5 жыл бұрын

OH SHIT, IT DOES!

@bigounce7988

5 жыл бұрын

U spelled Brandon Showers wrong

“And while he is talking about this, don’t forget to subscribe” lol😂

@drdeadbeat1604

4 жыл бұрын

Agonising!

@suburbanshrub6675

3 жыл бұрын

forreal, fucking hilarious

@clairvoyant_af

3 жыл бұрын

Gold

@DM-ky8sn

2 жыл бұрын

At that moment I checked to see if I was subscribed. I wasn’t so I subscribed n clicked the notifications bell lmao

@lettyfount5769

2 жыл бұрын

So sad …… not morals anymore very sad

At 3:12 the guy told him he was his favorite comedian and Theo took a deep breath, you can tell he felt bad about taking advantage. I'm glad he apologized

@kepler22-b

2 жыл бұрын

You can see some sort of pain here your not wrong.

@twztid13

2 жыл бұрын

Most ppl, for real, wouldn't care. Much respect.

@Bottlecap0

Жыл бұрын

For sure, you can see a glimpse of his heart right there

@charliecinnella9090

4 ай бұрын

Yeah I bet he would do it again in a heartbeat though.

Right in the middle "Don't forget to subscribe" LMAO dude has me rolling already.

Never meet your heroes.

@dayra6425

5 жыл бұрын

He's the type of dude you can't leave a kid around

@nolan6183

5 жыл бұрын

True that.

@CosmicGumbo555

5 жыл бұрын

Nah man, he and Theo are Eskimo Bros now

@TOAST2URGHOST

5 жыл бұрын

Aiming pretty low if this mullet is your hero 😂

@chrish931

5 жыл бұрын

More like get a clue, if you go to see a comedian, a band, any kind of entertainer with an attractive women and that entertainer than hangs out with you and your date after the show all night, they are not interested in hanging out with you.

I use to keep my girls away from guy's like theo. but, it's not there fault they have the ability to just vibe with almost everybody they come across. i've seen situations like this happen before with friends and other people. there'll come a time u realize u shouldn't have to keep anybody away from anyone. ur partner either respects you or they don't. just move on to the next.

@jakeniemiec8559

5 жыл бұрын

Drove with a chock I was seeing for a few weeks up to flagstaff to see a concert. Later that night I befriended the band member and we were all hanging out. Long story short I found her naked with the dude in the stairs. Ultimate dealbreaker for me..

@rochajraphael

5 жыл бұрын

You couldn't have said it better. That's literally the only thing that matters.

@readein

5 жыл бұрын

I agree with what you're saying for the most part, but you gloss over the fact that it hurts. If someone you care about cheats on you; it's heartbreaking. I do agree that you shouldn't have to hide your significant other, but it's damn near impossible to "just move on" if you genuinely loved the person. Of course you should strive to move on, but it's a process; not something that you can just do.

@rochajraphael

5 жыл бұрын

@@readein that's just it bro, you have to "gloss" over it in order to eventually move on. No one said it would be easy. But submerging yourself in that pain and learning how to deal with it are two different things.

@rikrob5172

5 жыл бұрын

That's why I don't do girlfriends. Chicks think nothing of dissing a man like that.

"I've always thought sober sex is for children" - Theo Von

Theo doing gods work. Saving these guys from broken marriages, alimony and child support. Thank you Theo

@CuttySobz

2 жыл бұрын

You're insane.

@jm5642

2 жыл бұрын

Praise God

@kathrynmcelroy5658

2 жыл бұрын

Caarrll....hahahaha! "It was almost like Paul Revere a little bit..."

@davidgrove6210

Жыл бұрын

He slept with Bobby Lee's ex

@alfonso831

Жыл бұрын

I hope he does god work with your mom and lady.

Im never taking a chick to a Theo Von show haha

@geema2281

5 жыл бұрын

I'm a chick, how do I find a dude to take me to Theo's show? LOL 🤣

@kevincharles6438

5 жыл бұрын

Giselle Martinez Im from Chicago and il take ya! I get 1st taste though LMAO

@nateone6632

5 жыл бұрын

If you have to worry she's the wrong chick

@veronica-

5 жыл бұрын

Why? If something goes wrong that's how you know you shouldn't even be with her.

@DvDPlaya

5 жыл бұрын

@@geema2281 I guess you find a dude that doesn't know about this video. Chris D'Elia is the one you wanna look out for. He will steal a woman right off a man's arm with his designer skinny pants and big bubble sneakers. (bad combination imo)

Dude 🤣 “my bad bro.....want some free tickets?” 😂😂😂

@abtwopoint0

5 жыл бұрын

... hilarious.....

@AuRowe

5 жыл бұрын

This guy is prime

@pguthrie222

5 жыл бұрын

🤣

@alexferrana1

5 жыл бұрын

It would’ve been hilarious if he said bring another chick with you

@BJORKAHOLIC

4 жыл бұрын

I wont even talk to your date at all..."

The best part of this whole story is “I always thought fucking sober was for children” 💀

@lettyfount5769

2 жыл бұрын

Wooow

@ChaceBonanno

2 жыл бұрын

Sober sex is kinda awkward

@WV_Mudpuppy

2 жыл бұрын

I use to be a drug addict and while I'd have sex pretty regularly it honestly sucked, no feeling and hard to get off. I'd prefer sober sex 10 outta 10 lol or atleast maybe tipsy sex which is fun too 😜

@SourPatchPuss

2 жыл бұрын

I heard him say that but didnt even realize what the fuck he said until I just read your comment. That shit is ridiculous 😂

@ayvzu

2 жыл бұрын

@@ChaceBonanno how is it awkward lol? If you're both in turned on its euphoric

This proves his point on how he uses comedy to alleviate his own insecurities. I do think he’s sorry and I don’t think he’s trying to make light of it. I don’t feel like Theo is a comedian. He’s an extremely quick witted, intelligent guy that uses humor to cope

@BbGun-lw5vi

4 жыл бұрын

Mike Milly that is a comedian.

@therealjulez7886

4 жыл бұрын

well said

@jacobhuish292

4 жыл бұрын

Bro

@jacobhuish292

4 жыл бұрын

Well said indeed

@face-plant4706

2 жыл бұрын

Well he is a comedian, though. That's his occupation.

theo got the dark arts in him

@jkake2434

5 жыл бұрын

black magik, voodoo child

@neatchipops3428

4 жыл бұрын

'bitches' like funny

@rap4life961

4 жыл бұрын

Jerrod Draper just searching for the devil

@jsnel43

4 жыл бұрын

He's garbage man. Idk why he didn't handle it like a man.

@MattH-wg7ou

3 жыл бұрын

Seems like she got the dark arts IN her...

Them Dark arts...

@josephdavis2695

6 жыл бұрын

DanteZzZ that strong sippah, bruh.

@lukeism2

5 жыл бұрын

Black man in a theatre

@daemon816

5 жыл бұрын

500 ;)

@elliottjones8354

5 жыл бұрын

Damn those Dick caterpillars

This is the most “yeah I did that shit” apology I’ve ever heard lmao. But if that was the first date and ya’ll weren’t serious it can hurt, but it’s more of a good riddance than a loss.

@YoureRightIThink

Жыл бұрын

Unless they knew each other from way before and dude's been trying to get a date with her or make a move

@sunshine3914

Жыл бұрын

His decision, but what fanboy can blame her?

@hotdog9262

Жыл бұрын

most will probably disagree.. but id say if she was sober ill agree with you. if she were drunk its a bit more difficult. its easy to fck up under the influence

Classic case of "she's not yours, it's just your turn".

Theo did you a favor. She'll cheat again on the next guy

@H3aleme

4 жыл бұрын

Bro can you blame her ? Like really.? A famous genuinely funny handsome comedian ? She had no chance bro. Guys should stop thinking girls owe them loyalty, and guess what we don't owe them loyalty either, It's dumb to make a promise like monogamy. It's only insecurity that makes you want a girl to fuck you and you exclusively. I mean there is nothing that will stop her from desiring others who have some qualities you don't, so wanting her to refrain from following her desires is you trying to delude yourself into thinking you're the only man she wants... And it's simply not true with any girl. So "loyal girls" are still just as slutty but scared of manifesting their true sexuality, they, just like us, desire many men and not just one. My advice is, ofc you should have someone special with whom you share something beyond just sex, but don't mix up love and lust, you can still love your girl but lust others and well guess what so can she ;) ... It's the bitter truth

@jlozano2014

4 жыл бұрын

@@H3aleme Wow, you're an idiot.

@matthewj6026

4 жыл бұрын

Amen

@-foldedwalls-773

4 жыл бұрын

@@H3aleme you're right, just like you they desire many men 😂

@H3aleme

4 жыл бұрын

@asvpadam2x being hurt cause your girl might desire others is the beta behavior you idiot :) ... I've never had a girlfriend specifically because I am too alpha for that shit instead I push girls into a polygamist friendship with benefit and a lot of them accept it simply cause what I bring to the table is attractive enough

"I went out and tried to catch that cooter frisbee in my mouth... Like a wild Australian Shepherd" Holy shit 😂😂 Good one, Bone Ranger

@smileandhope3381

5 жыл бұрын

😄

@chadjacobi7163

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@chraffis

2 жыл бұрын

That slick wallet

The most bizarre and hilarious apology ever! 😆

I am so fucking sorry for that guy. The Imagination of this happening to me and the girl I am favouring rn almost makes me cry. That girl should be so deeply ashamed of herself playing with peoples feelings smh.

@beaustur

3 жыл бұрын

Bro, shes got ovaries, what do you expect.

@benzohhhhh

3 жыл бұрын

Been through Same shi only with a friend not a idol lol, girls don’t have souls

@patbobsquidpants3159

2 жыл бұрын

Haha soggy pillow lighten up you emo haha

@dantemacdonald7672

2 жыл бұрын

Life goes on, man. That triflin shit went down for a reason, and hopefully all parties are bettered now. We can't throw all the blame on some girl when we only have a third of the context needed. In her defense: if I had a pussy and was hangin out with theo after a whole show of laughing my tits off, I'd probably succumb too. Life is about learning lessons, and all three of these people learnt damn valuable lessons, whether they've utilized them or not.

@tommydinob

2 жыл бұрын

Broken people fracture other’s without really knowing it or wanting to know it.

He's somewhere in these comments lurking

@pguthrie222

5 жыл бұрын

🤣

@donkeyking1045

5 жыл бұрын

You already know he is 🤣

@cepobr

5 жыл бұрын

No dude I'm not

@conormcnagger4703

5 жыл бұрын

It was me bro

@MrBuketman

5 жыл бұрын

I still haven’t received my free tickets...

"Sober sex is for children..." -T. Von

3 years later, watching this video cracking up at "American sex " 🤣🤣

"some american sex, nothing foreign, you know" lmfao Theo is so goddamn funny without trying, truly effortless

Theo cant be serious to save his life 😂

Damn, i was gonna take my brother to watch your show but idk now

@MrOvlov02

4 жыл бұрын

lmfao

@joshuarosas1590

3 жыл бұрын

This comment wins

@Loco5919

3 жыл бұрын

Shiiiii 😂😂😂

@adrianrodriguez9129

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao!!

@johnrep808

3 жыл бұрын

Don’t

"This is not the most opportune time to mention that... but if you would subscribe i would appreciate that" I hit that button immediately hahaha

Theo " if you want I got tickets for you.. bring a date" Von.

This was on the chick. She did you a favor, now you know what kind of person she is... Move on.

@donaldferguson9418

5 жыл бұрын

EXACTLY

@Artliker1234

5 жыл бұрын

Y’all acting if Megan Fox would fuck you, you’d forget anything

@Shad0wack

5 жыл бұрын

Implying this chick did anything out of the ordinary

@DarthAlgar5

4 жыл бұрын

Onward

@unosheem6210

4 жыл бұрын

Artliker1234 if I loved my wife I’d curve Megan fox out of respect for my family if you would cheat in a honest relationship you aren’t actually in love because love is through actions not just emotions

Theo did that dude a favor. She prob would've cheated down their relationship if they did get together.

@rokeeffe91

6 жыл бұрын

vitor3000 calling it a favor is a bit dramatic

@benjamingracian277

6 жыл бұрын

Naaa it’s a favor

@robotdeathderby

6 жыл бұрын

i dunno if theo did him a favor, but i think it was just a case of sooner rather than later. cheaters cheat. better to find out early that the person you're with has no moral fiber.

@jomama3804

6 жыл бұрын

some people are mentally weak and can be convinced to do anything even if they don't really want to. I do not consider these to be people they are cattle/sheep. they live everyday at the whims of others.

@nodirbekable

6 жыл бұрын

nah, a lot of girls can't resist sleeping with a celebrity, especially considering that they had not been in a serious relationship yet at the time.

Sounds like it wasn’t Theo’s problem. She would’ve cheated on him anyway

Bro he straight being a savage to this guy theo don't feel bad at all he low key rubbing this dude face in it

"I really liked her. You hooked up with her. Not the best scenario for me" 😂😂😂😂

@Artliker1234

5 жыл бұрын

... likes her so much calls her a bitch. Repeatedly. Dude is a psycho lowkey

@hydrationrequirement9762

5 жыл бұрын

@@Artliker1234 I don't know how serious this dudes relationship is with that girl but anyone who cheats on their partner is a bitch.

@chaoticonchaoticon7676

4 жыл бұрын

@@Artliker1234 to be fair she wasn't a bitch until she snuck around. When they sneak around they become bitches.

@mikasasukasa4479

4 жыл бұрын

@@Artliker1234 not a psycho, just badly hurt

@N8_R

4 жыл бұрын

Honestly I think Theo helped that guy dodge a bullet.

So she burst out crying when she remembered how bad the sex was, otherwise the dude would have never known what happened.

@nickbwalker51

5 жыл бұрын

At least she felt bad

@saucybaka4439

5 жыл бұрын

@@22year-olddoomer24 tru

@cloud_monkey422

5 жыл бұрын

Nate Andrews nah she cried when she realized she banged a dude with s Kentucky waterfall, Texas tailgate, a mullet

@gregoryswift9573

5 жыл бұрын

Lol so trueee

@bryandonahue4347

3 жыл бұрын

So true. She realized it def wasn't worth it. Gang gang Theo

Well done both of you for keeping it real. That´s a good story and I believe it means something.

No one's commenting on the fact it was the dudes first date with the girl, that changes the whole thing. They couldn't be exclusive after 1 date, so it's not that deep at all. Guy needs to get out more if that's the first girl in 5 years he really liked :/

@superegobeats

4 жыл бұрын

MakeSomeonesDay true. But that was more towards the end of the video and you know people love to comment before they have all the facts.

@BigBird629

4 жыл бұрын

if the woman cried because she fucked theo and felt guilty... it was serious

@tarico4436

4 жыл бұрын

Her crying doesn't mean anything. She didn't do anything wrong. Nobody did anything wrong. We're animals. We like to mate. It was a first date; nobody messed up. Now would she cheat in the future? Maybe probably! Git while the gittin's good!!

@Benjamin-1776-

4 жыл бұрын

@@tarico4436 Yeah, listen to pop culture we are all worthless sluts! Live that empty lifestyle otherwise you are so behind the times silly old person! Ignore every study that accidently leaks out that says treating sex like a hobby leads to horrible results in every way, just listen to Teen Vogue and wtf ever soulless celebrity sounds off about relationships it will work wonders for your life!!

@pepperprovasnik

4 жыл бұрын

Yes!

His sentence comparing him having sex to robbing a bank literally made me cry 😂😂😂😂

@oneeyedchef4819

5 жыл бұрын

petercullen15 black security guard hes resting

As far as I'd be concerned, he dodged a bullet. Dick move by Theo, sure... but she ain't worth it.

@lt.generalofsalt4273

4 жыл бұрын

J4K3 Theo didn’t know it was his ol lady 🤷‍♂️

At least that dude isn’t married to her. That’s life, you got to walk through the brush & knock out the weeds to get to the meadow.

@Kevs442

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes that brush is on fire and you got to run out. Because animals get burnt up in those fires. So, don't go around with women who like to play with matches.

I'd expect nothing less from Theo, such a down to earth dude. "Man I was in an outta there like it was a bank". 🤣😂

Can I just say thank you to the 70 year old walking weiner who planted his seed in Theo's mom. Thank you, sir.

@colincunningham4128

5 жыл бұрын

Ahahahahaha

@yeahyourerightand4763

5 жыл бұрын

Z J you’re welcome😌

@GINOLR

5 жыл бұрын

Walking wiener lmao

@elliottjones8354

5 жыл бұрын

It might be rip bc on hot ones 🔥 he said sat fella only had a few days left

@IAmMeMyra

5 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Theo definitely did this guy a favour, she's the sort of girl who marrys you, has kids with you, then cheats and takes you down. She's no good, move on.

@rm9308

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes you gotta parade that cheese in front of a rat just to see if the cheese wants to get itself nibbled.

@user-kk6ht1id5e

4 жыл бұрын

google Google What’s her name

@TheTheode

4 жыл бұрын

Better Theo than some guy he knows personally as well.

@Vyrkgrl

4 жыл бұрын

That was a favour? I hope you never owe me a favour..

@PermanentHigh

4 жыл бұрын

Wrong she cheats throughout the whole relationship. You just only find out mid marriage.

“If you come back again I got tickets for you” lmfao

Putting this out there is next level powerful... Bravo bro bro

Ran into THEO at the COMEDY STORE with my wife. And he was VERY respectful. Took a picture , said something funny and KEPT it movin. COOL DUDE

@jaydun05

5 жыл бұрын

al rodriguez probably didn’t look as good as the chick he is talking about ijs

@gerald4871

4 жыл бұрын

"Kept it moving" LOL That's what you thought.

@PermanentHigh

4 жыл бұрын

Your wife isn't that hot and you didn't hangout with Theo after the show

@jsnel43

4 жыл бұрын

Let's see the wife lmao you already know what this broad lookin like, crypt keeper ass haha

@barbarosb9900

3 жыл бұрын

OR DID HE.....

His terminology is on another level haha!

@FlintSparkedStudios

5 жыл бұрын

@Mike G Mike you're coming on too strong my dude!

@shanebone13

5 жыл бұрын

Quit speaking from your cooter frisbee!

@kevinobryant48

5 жыл бұрын

Tra Dee J yeah he dissed her in a sneaky way 😭😭😭

@ogmarq2737

5 жыл бұрын

Out here stealing titty patties and vagina nuggets

@rafaelsinsemilla1986

5 жыл бұрын

"The Orifices" lmao

"Got tickets for you. You can bring yo gurl." -Theo Von

@juanjerez1012

3 жыл бұрын

I was just bout to say this 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

WTF you kill me every time. You’re some kind of okie poet and I love it.

Dude I am down, I'll take my girl to your show in a heartbeat, its a great test

@cosmotect

5 жыл бұрын

@@lhowlett88 not testing Theo, testing the girl dude. I don't even want to be with one that can let herself be banged.

@bonson9156

5 жыл бұрын

@@lhowlett88 bruh....

@lhowlett88

5 жыл бұрын

@@bonson9156 Hahaha, I remember being very drunk the night of this comment. Read this the next day and realised I missed the point completely. Good for a laugh at least.

"Get out there and be in people's orifices and everything, and be just loitering around in peoples orifices and in this woman's orifices." lol amazing

@Steven_Ray99

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like the way that black guy on Curb Your Enthusiasm talks.

Theo you’re a real kinda guy and I can appreciate they you feel we’re the guy is coming from!!!!! Love ya thou!! Keep being you

Wow, this made me think of theo in a different light. Yuck. Im sorry man. Thats some shady shit

@gucciwar2331

3 жыл бұрын

I thought he was above that too

@gucciwar2331

3 жыл бұрын

He still funny af tho 🤷🏼‍♂️

@Chadpitt33

3 жыл бұрын

It's one thing that it happened and he had just met them, but the way he tried acting like he was sorry then talking all that shit at the same time, nahhh... that's just fukd up

If she's the type of girl to do that sorta thing then she wasn't worth your time bro

@showtime951

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like she was worth Theo's time.

@olliefoxx7165

3 жыл бұрын

@@showtime951 A few minutes and then what?

Big men apologize. Skin in the game...

@ayylmao3384

6 жыл бұрын

Lol you thought he was actually apologizing, that's cute.

@Breiitz

5 жыл бұрын

ayylmao - Theo was apologizing, and probably genuinely feels bad for the guy. But the guy intentionality called in to the show to be on air. He wanted to try and embarrass Theo. So Theo had some fun with it

@kennygerberich4985

5 жыл бұрын

@@Breiitz How would the guy be trying to embarrass him if Theo has full control over whether or not his voicemail or the story in general makes it out to his audience? I think he wants Theo to feel some shame but is fighting the urge to fully say that because of his admiration for him. It actually sounds like the dude was probably more affected about this than he's letting on, and is merely hoping that Theo would care at least enough to address it. I mean how much would it suck to lose a girl over a one night stand with a guy you're a big fan of, especially if you were sitting there stoked that you actually got a chance to connect with him? He just wants to see that Theo was being real on some sort of level when he chose to hang out with him. So I do think you're right about the genuinely apologetic part, and that other dude who thinks it's not an apology can't read obvious context too well, because Theo really didn't have to give this any attention if he didn't feel like it. It sounds like a genuine apology towards someone he doesn't know too well on a truly personal level, but whose life he still obviously affected in a way he hadn't fully realized until hearing from him again.

@haydz5

5 жыл бұрын

@@kennygerberich4985 no one wants to read all that dude 😂

@kennygerberich4985

5 жыл бұрын

@@haydz5 Oh shit, fair point. I completely forgot I had written that. Those are the side effects of ADD medication the doctors don't mention..."cut back usage if KZread comments go over 100 characters."

Thank you for putting this out man, id thought you wouldn't reply, no hard feelings.

Kudos for being a man and taking accountability for what you did & apologizing to ole' dude. 😊

To me the shitty thing about hooking up with another dudes lady isn’t the violation of the ‘bro’s before ho’s’ rule ,it’s the exchange of narcissistic supply at somebody else’s expense. Theo’s a super likable celebrity and she’s an attractive woman, no need to be that thirsty. Shady bruh! Practicing them Dark Arts that night for sure. Still a fan though and think it takes guts to admit you made a mistake. Onward

“And we ended up hooking up and getting into some American sex” 😂😂😂 Theo is a fucking legend

Man, I was taken to a random party that was full of strangers I didn't know. Long story short, girl takes me by the hand to a side room where we start the dark arts. In the middle of hitting it from the back, this guy I had been talking to comes in and turns the lights on. He starts calling her by name, saying wow, how could you do this to me. I instantly felt awful for that guy but I had no clue who they were or that they were together. I instantly thought that girl was trash.

That subscription joke in the middle was good on a level that I haven’t ever seen in comedy. As dark as a joke can get really!

he moving on to Bobby's girl now

@Bananahammock88

5 жыл бұрын

Khalyla? Nah man..

@adamwhitfield5571

5 жыл бұрын

@@Bananahammock88 idk. Seems like hes already trying ro find out where she stands on the sneak tip. Hes always askin them about being attracted to others while in a relationship. And making little cracks like she gonna run to one of his friends.

@elliottjones8354

5 жыл бұрын

Dat hitter

@spencerlove2264

5 жыл бұрын

@@elliottjones8354 yeet

@danish-Le-Ashraf

5 жыл бұрын

Fuck my thoughts exactly 😳🤪😂😂

the fainting goat analogy is fantastic

@johnsonjrharold

6 жыл бұрын

Cohaagen90 it is fucking hilarious!

@mizztia5303

Жыл бұрын

What does it mean lol

I feel like theo lies about being bad at sex as a way to get laid lol

@roems6396

4 жыл бұрын

bboyjayboogie Not sure what the logic behind that would be. Theo just strikes me as a guy that puts everything out there regardless of what anyone thinks.

@Kingconquest89

4 жыл бұрын

It’s a joke

@djames6043

4 жыл бұрын

@@roems6396 Because every guy that talks himself up as a "sex master" or a sex wizard ends up being the lamest sex ever, if you go in saying you suck at sex you set the bar real low and even if you're decent then that's better than what the girl expected.. There is logic in it when you think about it.

@tijuas0918

4 жыл бұрын

Well you are stupid then , and obviously need to go watch more episodes

@Archetype77

4 жыл бұрын

@@roems6396 Because it's a sympathetic thing to say, it makes a guy seem kinda cute and not as threatening.

Theo doing play by play after every sentence 😂

tears in my eyes when he tells us to subscribe!

I know this is over a year ago, but it's new to me. Just wanted to say that I lobe the fact that you put this out into the public light. Much respect to you brother. We've all done things that we shouldn't have

This is awesome self reflection Theo! Proud of you guy.

Fair play for putting your apologies out there...

Theo "loiter around orfices" Von

@jeremybaker1855

5 жыл бұрын

He has such a beautiful way with words lol

Why is Tom calling? Just have him on YMH and work it out man!

@cferrara_303

5 жыл бұрын

Brock Brown just try it out

Loitering in people’s orifices... 😂😂 I love how he phrases things.

“Sorry man, I was the Hamburgler stealing titty patties while you were having chocolate shakes with your girl.” Hahahahaha. Can’t help being funny even when he’s apologizing.

Damn Theo, I can't believe you put this out there. Thanks for sharing. Definitely a dick move. I don't think I could have shared this one myself, but I think most of us have been in this situation. Most of the time I like to think that I do the right thing, but it's not always that easy.

@gorgolbutt

6 жыл бұрын

+Jimmy D'amora I did this to a guy's girl actually at a Theo Von show (lots of other comedians on the bill the same night though). We were hanging out in the parking lot after, sharing a joint, and lo and behold me and this one guy's Columbian girlfriend sneaked to my place while his guy was inside buying a t-shirt. Needless to say, I fucked her senseless (and the funniest thing was, the girls phone was ringing the whole time cos' his boyfriend was calling, while I'm digging in to that ass). Not a gentleman move of course, but shit happens out there. Keep your girls in check, it sure as fuck ain't my job. :D

@kingcrustytut7544

6 жыл бұрын

Sergio Delgado lmaooo savage

@Berlinwood27

6 жыл бұрын

Sergio Delgado No honor in men damn lmfao. America really is a piece of shit

@fabiomugnaini6165

6 жыл бұрын

Really? You look like a virgin

@NEVERSHOUTNEVER1991

5 жыл бұрын

Eric Romero you do realize she was gonna do this with anyone..hoes be hoes and most men are weak sad to say...at least he was big enough to acknowledge and apologize..he could have kept it under wraps for no one to ever find out about. He is a recovering addict and he is working on his recovery daily...

Props to you for making that apology, especially because you didnt have to. This is the first video ive seen on your official channel. Even though this is sort of a bummer video, I can appreciate why you made it. I truly believe in your comedy so much that I subbed to your channel. I relate to your comedy and your upbringing and am always laughing right there with you. Be well and looking forward to seeing more content on here!

Tom segura sounded so sad in this call😪😅

Theo, good on you for changing your ways and feeling better about yourself and for apologizing if you hurt someone. I hope you find 💙. By the way never heard anyone describe things the way you do, feel like I just came out of some CRAZY, MIXED UP DREAM 😕😘

Honorable of both parties to talk about it on the podcast. Shitty situation but that's really dope how Theo addressed it on air and it's also cool that guy was willing to forgive Theo too. Very strange yet unique situation. Proud of both parties. Cheers to Theo and all the fellow fans out there from the vast corners of the internet. Machines Within much love no hate.

@johnnie543

6 жыл бұрын

canak attack #LayDownYourT16s

@rachilray

6 жыл бұрын

Dirty bitch!

@gjkvcnjhygfccccccccc

6 жыл бұрын

Honorable is a bit far.

This just doesn't sound like an apology at all lol

@studlypear05

5 жыл бұрын

It is not your average apology...but give them some credit for putting this out there. 99% of people would be too scared to even admit this. He's also a comedian so he's trying to make light of the situation. Also the guy calling is still a fan and wanted Theo to use the call in his show. The guy didn't ask for an apology. Also, it was a first date...not a girlfriend of 2 years or a wife. Since when is someone on a date....not even dating required to be loyal? The date was over and then the girl went and hooked up with Theo. Fair game. That girl doesn't owe her date exclusivity after the date.

@RacheyBoBachey

5 жыл бұрын

I agree, sorry not sorry. And straight up gangster to offer him free tickets

@cultofthebull5044

5 жыл бұрын

He said sorry, what else to you want him to do? Kneel down and flagellate?

@adamgm84

5 жыл бұрын

@J R bring those deformed rectal hitters to the show

@SamuraiCypher

4 жыл бұрын

carl carlson not at all

“I was that wild man out there -“ Enough said.

“And I do recollect that woman had a nice ass” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 DYING!!

Theo you should have left him an IOU. Text him whenever you have a spare.

Damn it son! This is so hilarious you should make a series of apologies!

Nice podcast... honest, intimate, real. Thank you.

The paul revere reference had me dead... 😂😂😂

weird flex but ok

@hamig306

4 жыл бұрын

Bosch ha! i was gona say that

That was hard to hear but it was real and I appreciate that! good on ya for apologizing and being real. Good women are heroes, so if you have one guys, you should thank her for being who she is.

the catepillar Paul revere had me rolling 😂😂😂

You're a good man Theo Von you really are!!! To admit that you were wrong and that's what you're not about I believe you I do I believe that you have deep feelings .. and I believe you have a golden Soul truly God bless you

"All up in people's orifices" I love his use of vocab whenever I see him! lol

Hahahah Theo is genuinely sorry about what he did but he also finds what he did hilarious 😂

Maybe the biggest low key flex you could possibly do 😂 but hey he helped expose that girl for who she was

I can see Theo really didn’t care. Like at all.

@zaneedmondson1814

3 жыл бұрын

That’s just how he talks, he definitely cares. You can see it in his face

"it was almost like Paul Revere a bit" - LMFAO!

@jeremybaker1855

5 жыл бұрын

A Paulerpillar XD this guy is a fucking legend

@bertburt87

5 жыл бұрын

Caterpaul*

@brosegoes

5 жыл бұрын

The vagina is coming...

TRYING TO CATCH THE KOOTER LIKE IN DUKES OF HAZARD

Theo’s use of language and metaphor is unparalleled

It's good of you to own this. 😬 Thats a difficult thing to do, especially publicly.