"i don't want somebody who every other day it feels like Halloween around the house cause they dark art'n" DEEEADDDD lololol

@youalreadyknow2316

4 жыл бұрын

Leah Wilson LOL

@omfgitspyrogirl

3 жыл бұрын

guess im not theo's type

@MackNcD

2 жыл бұрын

@@omfgitspyrogirl lol why would a decent guy want someone inviting demons into the household. Who in their right mind…

@Emcostanza

2 жыл бұрын

@@MackNcD not believing in god means inviting demons? Lol ok

@MackNcD

2 жыл бұрын

@@Emcostanza No it’s more energetic. God for an atheist or agnostic would be… ‘good’

She was an adult. OBVIOUSLY. 😂 man I’m trying not to wake my family up

@TheJCinator

28 күн бұрын

How many ideas can she have in this hitter

Theo's brain lives in the 4th dimension.

@tylizotte

3 жыл бұрын

Yo momma

@TheDoomWizard

3 жыл бұрын

Facts

@raewynhaughton1585

3 жыл бұрын

I’m surprised people are surprised by his mind, I relate to him and thoughts so well

@mfc111

2 жыл бұрын

All our brains live in 4d because the 4th dimension is time and our brains are a collection of everything we have done over time

@lawliet2263

2 жыл бұрын

He's actually a savant

"I like if a woman likes to play board games in the evening, or the afternoon." so damn wholesome. Onward.

"She got that little cabbage ball" IM CRYING 😂😂😂😂

“Hardest workin man I know is my mother.” Damn straight 🙌

I wouldn’t mind a regular headed woman! The simplicity 😁

What kind of personality do you like in a girl? ...I like pigtails, I knew this girl who had just one pigtail. I like em with regular heads. I knew this girl with a little head.

@monicapyle

5 жыл бұрын

I died. One pig tail is called a pony tail, last time I checked lmao

@willynye202

4 жыл бұрын

@@monicapyle what if it comes out the side of that regular head you feel me, that's that half Wendy's look

@monicapyle

4 жыл бұрын

@@willynye202 lol a side pony tail. I sported one in the 80's 😁

I don’t like a girl that you have to take out of the trunk. I dated a girl with a tiny head. Best comic

@AmericanMoviePodcast

6 жыл бұрын

Charles Spence agreed!

"And she was an adult! Obviously." Good lord Theo.

"I'm ok saying silly things but I'm afraid to look silly". That broke my heart after watching his most embarrassing story video

“ I’m afraid to look silly physically “ * grows out a mullet *

My mother is the hardest working man I know. 😹😹😹😹😹

@jeffm.c6200

2 жыл бұрын

She's also tall, dark and handsome 😂🤣

“Do I like em docile? I mean I don’t like em under the influence of quaaludes or anything like that” LOL

“That...uh....that shru....That mediocre Sphere.” “I was afraid someone with a tee ball bat was about to roll up...” Dude, I freaking lost it. Hysterical. Preach cuz.

@youalreadyknow2316

4 жыл бұрын

@Brandon Young “that lil , that lill, that lill “ LOL

I only discovered Theo about two weeks ago and I am loving his personality and humor.

@billybatchelor2863

Жыл бұрын

Look at There's view on getting the church van.Enjoy

@fraiser3330

10 ай бұрын

Me too!

@michaelludwig120

9 ай бұрын

So how’s the Theo Von journey been? 😂😎 gang gang

“Lookin like half a Wendy’s logo” lmfao I’m dyingggggg

"how many ideas" 😂😂😂 I'm logging off for a couple days to recover

Bar-rhett

@tskcs1083

5 жыл бұрын

Mental Circus Podcast that got me

"I wouldn't mind more of a regular headed woman"...dam Theo

Lookin like half a Wendy's logo, haha, almost sprayed out when I heard that

@AlexHernandez-ke2nd

5 жыл бұрын

Mugsy Logan lmao

@justincase3772

3 жыл бұрын

GANG

That small headed girl analogy was hilarious!!!

Expansive, introspective, reflective and always humble…ntm his mastery of the ironic, absurd, sad and hilarity!! Theo always lifts my spirits 💜

I can ALWAYS count on a good deep laugh listening to Theo 🤣🤣🤣

“Worries someone’s gonna roll up and knock a double.” 😂😂😂

I’ve had a couple of really shity days this week but when I watch this guy he never fails to make me smile & laugh. Good on ya Theo

Theo, I hope you find someone as special as you. I loved this!

Man, I super relate to him about the whole mother thing. My mom was also the hardest working most persevering person I’ve ever known, let alone being a single mom of 5 children. Her love is boundless, and she always made me happy and got us everything we needed or wanted, Christmas and birthdays were miraculous, my life was amazing. As an adult I appreciate it so much, more than I ever could as a child. And she’s still the happiest woman, been married to my new dad for 17 years, had two more children, owns her own business now, and she inspires me. That’s what I need in a woman. A boss. Not this shit you see on the internet, these women whining and crying about every little thing saying men ain’t shit, but a woman who can bring her swords and guns to the fight always, and will never give up, who’s heart is full of love and optimism. That’s a woman. That’s a beautiful wonderful human. I love you momma, you’re my everything.

@cockyramono7898

Жыл бұрын

Hell yeah bro much love ❤

@botinator2783

Жыл бұрын

“My mom is the hardest working man I know” -Theodore Capitani von Kurnatowski

@kylieshaye6562

Жыл бұрын

I loved reading that. I've learned over the years that you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother. That's always something I tell other women to keep an eye on when dating.

@Eshkanama

Жыл бұрын

@@kylieshaye6562 it’s sad when people have crappy moms too… genuinely breaks my heart. My dad was a horrible abusive drug addict, that definitely took a toll on me too. But my mom has always been a savior to me and my siblings. She finally left him after 20 years of trying to make things work and we uprooted ourselves out of California and moved to Missouri, I’ve been here ever since. Best decision she ever made. She still is just the greatest person ever.

@kylieshaye6562

Жыл бұрын

@@Eshkanama My dad was super abusive also. I'm so sorry that you went through all that. You sound like a great guy, any girl is lucky to have you. I'm so sorry that you went through all that abuse.

You have no idea how much of a bigger crush I have on you after watching this 😂😂😂 you're amazing Theo!

quick pause .. i lived in Louisiana from the age of 8 to 13 .. i have NOT heard someone say BARR.ettes like that in such a long time! thank you Theo!!!!!! :)

"regular headed woman"

Seriously?? I am watching this at work and trying to not bust out laughing. The tiny head chick.. omg STOP IT THEO!!

@gabrielsilvas7105

5 жыл бұрын

Leila Moss he's the best 😂

@matrixmelter8619

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah he’s funny

Man Theo. You kill it. Period. GANG GANG

@AmericanMoviePodcast

6 жыл бұрын

Beans-o agreed

Lol Theo’s response is hilarious

I'm in tears. This is fantastic.

Theo, you are killin' it! Oh man!

Very informative. Notes taken

Hahahaha I love that he thinks an atheist would be involved in dark arts.

Dated a Theo Von type in high school, remained friends for years! Loved him dearly but worried the wrong woman was going to break his sweet soul ❤️

Andrea from AZ in here trying to get that hitter boy!! Theo might be the funniest solo cast along w/ Burr, Even if he misinterprets the term "docile" which I learned from a fine gentleman who helped me train my dog. Jkjk. Love to all who listen&for call in to TPW! I'm falling into these dark arts BOY!!

Killing it bro. I hope you use this platform to search for new material for your sets. When is the next time you are coming to northern California? Would love to see you perform bro.

Theo you are simply a top notch man 👌🏽

All that beautiful talk and then ending with hunting your own clavicle for some chocolate hits. Damn, I love Theo Von. So real and so down to earth and so fucking funny! ❤️❤️❤️

Omg Theo you speak to my soul!

bruh i died at "someone with a t-ball bat"

im bursting out laughing a 3am

“Like a diving board that was taking the afternoon off, you know, gangin out”

Theo's wisdom is deep indeed.

You always make me cry laughing...when are you coming back to Denver bruh?

im in love with this man

this is the first time I re listened on your review episode but I cried bro lol to funny searched your name much love

Dude this was so funny. Diving board taking the afternoon off. You coming to Indianapolis any time soon???

You had me on an extended laugh to where i couldn't eat my oatmeal... had my oatmeal gettin' cold.

DUDE, THEO VON, this is some of the funniest shit that I've ever heard in my entire life... Dude, you are a maniac! Fuxing hilarious. Big Up

Damn near everything this man said for 9 minutes straight was side splittingly hilarious

Theo a broken vending machine out here spitting all these bars.

God Bless Theo 😂

Theo is the absolute euphemism KING, he says the most HILARIOUS shit

@MackNcD

2 жыл бұрын

Euphemism king? You really think Theo is PC? 😂 Whaaaat???

why is this the most relatable youtube vid to this day 🤣🙏🏼❤️

Omg he’s making my cheeks hurt from smiling so much 😂

You the Man Theo Von 😂🫡

You're my man Theo!🤗

Diving board. Hanging out. Theo likes me...thanks lol

When she said "docile and quiet" she meant a shy feminine girl and not a loud bossy Tom boy. She didn't mean drugged up lmao. I love this guy

Best part watching his coke habits and or mannerisms manifest with random questions from callers. I appreciate this guy..

Just keep glass'n

@Le_Petomane

6 жыл бұрын

I like you! Come by later for moose soup.

@traviskillian276

6 жыл бұрын

T.C.J B Will do mommy.

@mattklein7658

6 жыл бұрын

PPPPPOFFFTTTTTTTTWWWWWwww

@johnnie543

6 жыл бұрын

Travis K. Try it out. It's the highest and the tightest, jeans!

@jessen_0124

6 жыл бұрын

Piss on me. Beat me.

Hey man thanks and I'm sorry bout the past

Barr-ette, lmao. funny as hell brutha

Mad in love with khelila lmao

I'm secretly crushing on you ❤️ your great and I appreciate the laughs and authentic nature you bring to everything. Hope to see you in person some day!

@docd2295

2 жыл бұрын

So did you ever go out haha?

@jessepancamo8449

2 жыл бұрын

Damn

@lucysnorebush964

10 ай бұрын

That ain't how secrets work, lady.

this is my favorite thing

I was pissing my pants at this part when I watched the full podcast earlier 😂😂

Just like a divin' board that was takin' the afternoon off... LMAO

I fucking love this dude.

This guy is amazing

Oh my lawd! That little hitter on her neck?! I am dying! Don't be afraid to look silly EVER! If anything, it'll make somebody smile.

He said he was scared some dude was gonna come up and try and ring a double!!

This might be one of the most honestly funny things I have ever heard.

Theo got the ladies a thirsty in the comments. Well done

Theo for presidency 👑

Theo you need a show like Attell's Insomniac.....you would be so great in that format....perfect for your kind of funny.

@jeremyjordan9066

6 жыл бұрын

Steve yeah he’s so much funnier with people to interact with around him

@partsunknown1679

5 жыл бұрын

Yes! I used to love That show

I've always felt that I have a different thought process than others and I feel like Theo and I share that same thought process. Some people find it awkward, others find it entertaining, and very few fully understand us. I love it.

@Timeless.1111

2 жыл бұрын

@Nick Cox Absolutely!! 💯😁

"Dip your shoulders in chocolate and lick it off...with that nervous tongue" good lord theo 💀

Sometimes I swear he just talks out his ass 😂 but he is so damn funny

Theo your unfiltered borderline AuDHD personality is taking me out😂😂😂 this is just too funny which the tangents inbetween

Lol the girl calling😂😂😂

...OBVIOUSLY....cracked me up

This is wild 😂😂😂

“She was an adult. Obviously!!!” Haha let’s go!!!!!

The hardest working man I know is my mother 😂

when he compared her head to a cabbage I lost it

what the hell im dying ''BAR-ette''

What a great answer 😂

He had me at diety

Theo is a stone cold cutie. I'd buy him a ham sandwich and a coffee.

What a g

"The hardest working man I know is my mother"

Me: *taking notes*

That Cabbage Ball Head LMAO

Cabbage ball.... I'm dead