"we were semen, look how far we've come" that's wisdom bro

@themonopolyguy4365

4 жыл бұрын

420 likes, nice

@guillermolopez5352

4 жыл бұрын

I was gonna like your post but its at 420

@rootstriker1618

3 жыл бұрын

“Look how far we’ve cum” bars!!!!

@texaspatriot9153

2 жыл бұрын

Gang

@that1guy899

2 жыл бұрын

A true master of word play! 💪

“Here’s the thing: she hated me before I got here, she’ll hate me later. I conversated, so I won.” This is the best pick up advice I’ve ever heard

@kristoffersand9508

4 жыл бұрын

Neil strauss right there

@ctand91

3 жыл бұрын

Jesus

@hylabrookbooks

3 жыл бұрын

he said "When I go to bed tonight, I'll still have her voice in my ear..."" 💀🤣🤣

@moo-snuckle

3 жыл бұрын

@@hylabrookbooks a bit of hyperbole but he made his point lmao

@moo-snuckle

3 жыл бұрын

the comment about your just semen "what?!" "your semen, im semen and see how far we cum" kinda teeter totters on dumbass and genius lol

"being single is all about little wins" damn aint that the truth

100% accurate representation of trying to talk to women at a bar.

@derekderek2570

6 ай бұрын

Really? I’ve never had that happen before

“If you see me struggling to breath you know what’s up.”

@jimmyk4445

6 жыл бұрын

So I think it went ok.

@NotYetEst

5 жыл бұрын

LuckyBookProduction Breathe*

@drewnichols1685

5 жыл бұрын

Just know your the dude that corrects grammar on things like social media platforms and KZread We now know studies show nobody likes a grammar snob - So shut the fuck up..mmk thanks.

@imcoleyourenot8391

5 жыл бұрын

@Drew Nichols... shut the fuck up Drew, and use correct grammar.

@reedbauer2341

11 ай бұрын

❤

we arranged to meet you out here by this ledge

@hamzarodgers6147

5 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha that was my first thought!! Haha scrolled down to see if I was the only one

@migjordanpayawal7856

5 жыл бұрын

Hilarious!

@GR8-45

2 жыл бұрын

Just do push him off it !

@frankskits9283

6 ай бұрын

That made me laugh so hard 😂😂😂

"I'm not a harassment person" -Theo Von

@evanbiter5969

4 жыл бұрын

Like butter.

"He has ED, But he makes up for it with his hands, his great grand father was a pianist" DEAD AF

@Bballer12ification

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

"I got adult asthma, you got it? Was hoping we have the same diseases."

@TheMusikryder

5 жыл бұрын

Its nice that you can repeat lines we all heard already

@natep3835

5 жыл бұрын

cliche response to cliche is cliche

@1notnilc

5 жыл бұрын

Commenting on a cliche response is passé ;)

@Alidwee1

5 жыл бұрын

Works erytime

@sgtbaker2072

5 жыл бұрын

I can't stop laughing

"You're fine, Bro you're big semen, I'm big semen dude, we were semen, look how far we've come. You got this." Theo Von dropping real Wingman bombs.

@ienjoycountry

6 жыл бұрын

Mutton Wolf see how far we've cum*

@brunsta234

6 жыл бұрын

Mutton Wolf lol for real, if that doesn't pump u up idk what will

@jamesbra4410

6 жыл бұрын

those LA lion ladies eat cocaine instead of meat lol

@nwparker94

6 жыл бұрын

Inspired by smokingcigs23 on instagram

@Yzjoshuwave

6 жыл бұрын

That moment was hilarious.

Just discovered Theo Von about a month ago. Been on a Theo binge every since.

@GSTACK57

4 жыл бұрын

Every

@phoenixthephlame3558

4 жыл бұрын

Same as fuck brodie.!

@southerncalifornia42

4 жыл бұрын

Same exact situation right now bro lol

@davidgregorious3061

4 жыл бұрын

He’ll take ya down bruh. He’s my spirit animal.

@TheMajesticTT

4 жыл бұрын

He let me wear the fighter and the kid belt at his show last September. XD

"Not enough Tippy Tappy in that Drippy Drappy" 🙌🏽

@jonwhite182

3 жыл бұрын

🤣

@Oscarutabaga

2 ай бұрын

underrated out of pocket theo line

"He has a little bit of erectile dysfunction, but he makes it up with his hands. His great-grandfather was a pianist." Oh my god this show is the best. I'm dying here.

@stephentoth6003

6 жыл бұрын

Grey Ang That was one of the funniest lines ive ever heard. The fact that he kept adding "hes italian" was genius

@marek9741

9 ай бұрын

My favorite line

It's good to see more of this guy. He's actually dope.

@stevepartimejobs9272

6 жыл бұрын

This guys been going hard for awhile , you just got to know where to look

@versacesunscreen7241

6 жыл бұрын

Theo? Hes been out in these streets bruh

@dy120481

6 жыл бұрын

aye XL These skits are great, but he really shines on podcasts. He might be the naturally funniest off the cuff dude I've ever heard.

@jmarvosa6x3

6 жыл бұрын

dy120481 ... agreed!

@nolenzack5023

6 жыл бұрын

He’s the shit. The dark arts are getting noticed finally. Onward.

Listen man. Theo is spittin straight facts. “Only sharks are comfortable in these waters man”

“If you see me struggling to breath you know what’s up” My God Lmao

Tippy tappy in that drippy drappy lmao

@anaccount9929

6 жыл бұрын

ShworldStar _ I fail to understand why people make these "comments" which are just regurgitations of the episode or series WE ALL JUST WATCHED?!?! Just like the comment, "First". Wow. No one cares. And I mean you no malice. Just a question.

@jaycub722

6 жыл бұрын

Zane Addington Lol you're the most butt hurt person trying to act like they're not butt hurt that i've ever seen. Maybe because people like to give feedback to the creator on what part they think is funny ya stick in the mud.

@anaccount9929

6 жыл бұрын

Well obviously I'm butthurt, hence the no malice part of that statement. I was just saying why not find a better way to support content creators rather than just spewing lines that they themselves are very familiar with. Hope you a wonderful weekend.

@jaycub722

6 жыл бұрын

Zane Addington Change your name to passive aggressive

@anaccount9929

6 жыл бұрын

Jay Cub Will do.

Theo Von the heart of a lesbian and the mane of a Lion! We need more Von Gang Gang!

@barreldreamz7852

6 жыл бұрын

Von gang gang? Dude ur better than that

@MattRockwell1

6 жыл бұрын

808123 sd Some people just are straight up retarded.

It's crazy Theo's so funny that every comment section has literally every thing he said and does in quotes and i end up reading them all before i get to actually hear him say the jokes lol

@cremejockey8636

4 жыл бұрын

LikeFather LikeSon same

@joeymulcaire821

3 жыл бұрын

Literally why I don't read comments before watching a video with him in it feel like it ruins it

@shadynumbers8561

3 жыл бұрын

Sometimes you have to read the comments to know whether you should watch the whole thing or not

@JLewn9ty2

6 ай бұрын

​@@shadynumbers8561that's just weird. And a waste...

Watching this again a year later when I'm single, this video actually makes a lot of sense. Theo always talks like he's fucking around but there's a sprinkle of truth in every sentence.

@JLewn9ty2

6 ай бұрын

It's just depressing. I feel ya...

if you see me strugglin to breath you know whats up.

Tippy Tappy in that Drippy Drappy, the man is a goddamn poet.

"That's Tasty Jimmy?.." "Yeah Tim.. he's Italian." 😂😂😂

“Here’s the thing, she hated me before she got here, she’ll hate me later...” 😂

Theo is hilarious. Do yourself a favor and follow his podcast.

@theJIVETURKY

6 жыл бұрын

im pretty sure u listen to podcasts, not follow them, js

@StoicaVladIoan

5 жыл бұрын

No

@posteador

5 жыл бұрын

Just discovered him a few weeks ago. Been binging on his stuff, can't believe he's been going on for years under the radar.

@J.P.G.78

5 жыл бұрын

There is no tommorow! There is no tommorow!!!

@nymetsman321

5 жыл бұрын

theJIVETURKY you subscribe homie. You subscribe. #ganggang

I keep telling yall, THEO VON IS A NATIONAL TREASURE! Protect this man at all costs!

@manictiger

6 жыл бұрын

I think he's probably fine. With a mullet like that, I'm sure he's hiding phalanx guns and missile launchers under it. Murica!

@CryptoChanakya

5 жыл бұрын

He's probably next on yt ban list after vox is targeting Rogan and other so called 'al-right figures'.

@dustmart84

5 жыл бұрын

Theo! Theo! Theo!

@manictiger

5 жыл бұрын

@George Walker I'm not sure you understand. A man's rifle is his wife. Of course it goes in the passenger seat!

@kiethj7

3 жыл бұрын

Still relevant

Matt was wearing the Dexter kill shirt on his night out haha

@TheGeorgeous

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

Theo von is so quick witted it always gets me hahaha

Theo is the best, one of the best comedians around currently in my opinion!

@blazedandconfused477

6 жыл бұрын

Best podcast guest hands down. His stand up comedy is less tbh.

@coralreefer4602

6 жыл бұрын

I wouldnt say hes the best but he's definitely by far my favorite at the moment

@LeroySinclair69

2 жыл бұрын

Theo the funniest guys on planet earth, but not so much his stand-up game.

4:24 "I'm not a harassment person", hahah

@the_original_Bilb_Ono

5 жыл бұрын

I often say this very clear and loudly when I'm around women.

*"He makes up for it with his hands, his Grandpa was a Pianist".*

I played the shit out of "Streets of Rogue" a few years ago and it's really weird seeing the dev randomly on this random KZread video I clicked on.

@ICYPROFITS

4 жыл бұрын

It was made in 2017

@bigdoinksinamish_1387

3 жыл бұрын

ICY PROFITS which would be a few years ago?

@rod1840

3 жыл бұрын

True, awesome game he should be more confident

Ive decided Theo’s the funniest person i never knew about. Eveything he says is so absurd 😂

GET IN THERE!!

@Stankoniabegonia

6 жыл бұрын

HAHAHA YES

“His great-grandfather was a pianist” Theo has the BEST lines

That poor guy just got tricked into a long term commitment and giving up half of his wealth. Theo assassinated this dude's life

@cgates2

6 жыл бұрын

billiondollardan nah, Theo fast forwarded his life. He would have broken up with her for a chance at the single life again, failed hard (as shown), and then come crawling back on one knee.

@alicen2610

6 жыл бұрын

It is dumb to rush into a serious commitment with someone when you're not ready but also dumb to live the single life when it takes you a lot of effort to get laid (and you have some options for relationships) or you're the type that becomes a sad hermit when not in a steady relationship.

@SyphexGaming

6 жыл бұрын

Get that hitta boiiii!

@lovelylam4610

6 жыл бұрын

Uppity Sombitch #SuperVillain ㅗ

@thanosdarkseid8695

6 жыл бұрын

agree theo #2 comic after bill burr!! this guy though his woman ugly kinds, sorry! but he making and awesome looking video game!! if sold which should like stardew valley guy made his game alone its fun!!! but the woman gonna take this dudes serious gaming money!! fuck marriage!! seriously!! what is the point?????

I have a slight feeling . That he didn’t want to marry this broad

@steveotatooed

6 жыл бұрын

stevepartime jobs they should follow-up.in 6 months with the divorce

@stormcorrosion176

5 жыл бұрын

Butterface!!

@noname-ni1qt

5 жыл бұрын

nope only wanted her after he saw another man with her. its not love. its possesion

@stormcorrosion176

5 жыл бұрын

let me be your pappy!!! Dem tatties

@maxthielen576

5 жыл бұрын

I have a slight feeling that this is set up

"You can't name another animal that can do that. Unless it's a blind animal." 😂

"He makes up for it with his hands, his grandfather was a pianist" 💀💀🤣

Theo is my bruh from some other muh.

@radio-friendlyunitshifter4670

6 жыл бұрын

Bo Henderson this made me laugh a good bit

@777KZL

6 жыл бұрын

Bo Henderson 😒

@SpaceGhostPurps

6 жыл бұрын

Theo is my bruh from another puhh

@barreldreamz7852

6 жыл бұрын

coonass?

@mikeymartin4575

5 жыл бұрын

Nice!! LoL

Theo Von is such a silly goose. This a great idea for a show.

Theo is so ingenious in his delivery..truly a one of a kind comic! My favorite

The fainting thing and struggling to breathe was so damn funny. Theo is the man! I'm so happy I just found him recently. So much great content.

I wish this wasn't a scripted show.. I would totally watch Theo Von doing a real version of this!

@cremejockey8636

4 жыл бұрын

Coral Reefer it says unscripted in the description tho

@kylebiggs8849

4 жыл бұрын

I agree - that “mother henning” line was definitely unscripted tho 😂

@m.j.bacino913

4 жыл бұрын

The bobby lee one didn’t look too scripted

@chazbritt6

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like Theo is definitely unscripted in this lol

@larry557

3 жыл бұрын

I think it’s half and half but he’s definitely got something he has to follow

"His great-grandfather was a pee-annist."

@chrispetela8644

6 жыл бұрын

Cam x Cam lol yea his pronunciation are hilarious.. peedio philes 😂😂😂

@e.e121

5 жыл бұрын

That is the correct pronunciation actually...

"We are semen, look how far we've come." I'm dead

As someone who grew up in the south, I lost my shit over that "Laur-en" joke.

Theo is hilarious. I feel like he should be way more popular than he is.

@justinmiller7422

6 жыл бұрын

sixburgh64ss he has to compete with the millions of other people trying to become famous

@cryptoconan

5 жыл бұрын

He's on his way to the big$$

@MAYBE_4EV3R

5 жыл бұрын

sixburgh64ss - well you posted this comment about one year ago and I think it’s safe to say in that year since has Theo blown up to where you thought he should be. He’s funny AF!

@portlandgoose4727

4 жыл бұрын

He’s definitely one of the fastest rising stars in comedy right now

@michaelgalindo4714

2 жыл бұрын

@@cryptoconan pretty sad 3 years later and Theo is still hilarious, but his stuff really hasn’t gone anywhere besides the podcasts

9:25 "That...that's Tasty Jimmy?" "Yeah, that's him. He's Italian." Haha. Keeps mentioning that he's Italian.

@Skullpimp

5 жыл бұрын

He's good with his hands.. His grandfather played piano..

This actually made me so happy and smile so much, I kept expecting a sad or suprise funny ending but it turned out perfect I actually love this

“Why am I qualified? Because I have a gender neutral haircut” 😂💀

Poor guy... biggest mistake was buying the damn ring in the first place...

Theo "gender neutral hair" Von... Nice to see comedians on cc that are actually funny! Rep the south bruh!

@lakime7511

6 жыл бұрын

Jasmine Wood I

@MrReav13

6 жыл бұрын

SOUTH

@cosmic_JAV

5 жыл бұрын

Have you watched his story on "This is not happening" think his story is entitled "me and Darrell Starwberry".. if you haven't seen do you self a favor and watch it's great one of my favorites from the show

@PostalPatriot556

5 жыл бұрын

Jasmine Wood only posers say bruh

"No time like the present, guy." Great advice from Theo Von.

00:58 Eyes straight to the milk bags 😂

@ICYPROFITS

4 жыл бұрын

Im dead watched it 4 times

@retsncharles8281

4 жыл бұрын

Very lovely

@mrborat2493

2 жыл бұрын

And her face right after lol

Bruh, I'm dying. At 3:28 he starts wobbling when he's laughing. That is the most awkward laugh I have ever seen.

@mylestheweedpilesmoker2022

5 жыл бұрын

Its a nervous laugh bro chill

@nebulousisgod

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah he wobbled a lot there. Super awkward

@novaofthenorth

5 жыл бұрын

Lmao shoulder shimmy of nervousness

@lancemcallister8248

5 жыл бұрын

Lol funny too how theo sees it and plays it off

@nuckels188

5 жыл бұрын

This guy belongs on the big bang theory cast

"Yeah, Tim. He's Italian... I didn't want to show you this." I really want to see a version of a Christmas Carol with Theo playing the Ghost of Christmas Present

Man theo is a badass that he overcame addiction and got back into comedy godspeed! Mad respect, he is hilarious af!

You can tell he knew that was forced on him by her and she still acted surprised 😂

“You see me strugglin’ to breathe you know what’s up.” HAHAHA

ahhhh "he's got a lil bit of ED, but he makes up for it with his hands"

@LastbutNotFirst

6 жыл бұрын

his grandfather was a pianist. hahahaha

@adamturner9947

5 жыл бұрын

I died. He's brillant

@jaycustom21

5 жыл бұрын

Kinda like me, but instead of ED it's stamina. And instead of making it up with my hands, it's my tongue lol 🤣 Whatever works right?

Commmmonnnnnnn!

@colby69420

3 жыл бұрын

Hey man, didn’t expect to see you here!! Your channel rocks!!!

@eeeman

2 жыл бұрын

Love your vids!

@chris-chentrice2019

2 жыл бұрын

I seem to find you everywhere 😂

@Kustan112

2 жыл бұрын

I. Don't. Understand.

@KeenKong52

2 жыл бұрын

Hit those like buttons, 3,2,1 hit those like buttons

I still can’t tell if this was a sketch or serious but it was hilarious

I'm so happy my boy Von is getting some real stuff going on. Glad to see him do more

I can't wait for more episodes

Theo is a savage. His jokes are sometimes so subtle but super funny!

Theo is so damn honest about himself and his flaws. Respect.

“Some of the same issues and diseases” lmao

Is this supposed to be a commentary on how people settle into commitments for fear of loneliness? I can't tell

@gmb7200

5 жыл бұрын

For me it's the opposite

"a new piece of pwassay !" lol

One of the most painful things ive ever sat through, thank you

THESE MAN UP EPISODES ARE THE BEST! KEEP DOING THEM. THEO IS THE BEST

best show, keep them coming...........

This needs to be a show. Comedy central is insane for passing this up.

“ I’m still in community college “ 😂

One of the best podcasters and young comedian.

Squidbilly with a soul patch

@SnowflakeCharles

5 жыл бұрын

MrCoyzer BRUH.

@SnowflakeCharles

5 жыл бұрын

"DON'T TOUCH THE TREEEYIM!"

I cant stop laughing this was magical theo is hilarious

We need more of these Theo !!!

nothing pisses me off like mother hennin

If you see me struggling to breathe you know wassup

so great dude!

Matt is terrifyingly relatable. I also love Streets of Rogue.

So this was a weird advertisement for streets of rogue?

@SuperWeedPower

5 жыл бұрын

its a metaphor of how people who play his games look like in puchi hunt mode, ya know

Burnt Chrysler is fat

@ThePeperjack

6 жыл бұрын

Burnt kuntcher is on track for the type 2

@VanGTO49

6 жыл бұрын

Bort Chisslers can’t afford a Lambo like a water champ can

@stevepartimejobs9272

6 жыл бұрын

You’re not wrong..

@zahhirallah2793

6 жыл бұрын

I’m more concerned about his drinking problem.

@johnnie543

6 жыл бұрын

Dan Sol's FUCK! Bark Chowder needs to find his passenger and stop coming over later for moose soup!

We need more theo soo authentic... it's beautiful

Bring this series back!

Gang Gang.

@nolenzack5023

6 жыл бұрын

Onward

ONWARDDD

@Paulius923

6 жыл бұрын

Jeremy Clarkson lmfao

Oh my gosh! This made me really laugh out loud 😂😂

"Last night I broke into your house…" hahahahahahahaha

Theo von top 5

Theo needs to film more of these. Onward

I laughed, I almost cried at the end. Theo you are a unique soul.

This is the highest form of art

I've never in my life seen that many hot chicks in a bar

gang gang all day. get that tippy tappy in that drippy drappy boi!!!

This was actually really good. As always theo

these are hilarious yet eye opening.

The people need more Theo von