The Darkness of Shame | Stina Hägglund | TEDxUmeå
So many people live in silence and it is costing them their quality of life, and unfortunately in some cases, their actual life. This talk is about the importance of making forbidden subjects normal and easy to discuss - when it comes to our bodies and their different functions. Nothing should be left in the darkness of shame when it can be lightened up by the knowledge of life. I am a 29-year-old lecturer and blogger whose biggest passion in life is to inspire people that are to afraid to use their own voice. I have a stoma, which means that my small intestine is cut and brought to the surface of the abdomen and forms an opening (a stoma). A special bag is placed over the stoma to collect the feces. Many people in my situation are isolated and too afraid to show who they really are, and that inspires me to show the way to self-acceptance and pride.
My lectures are about finding hope, light and happiness when everything seems hopeless, dark and sad. I want to use my story of pain for something good, so that’s what I’m doing. I also spend a lot of my time educating nursing staff about meeting patients in vulnerable situations and what a difference their behavior can make for the patient. In good and bad. I’ve been seen telling my story in a lot of different Swedish magazines and TV-shows, such as ”Malou efter tio” and ”Fråga doktorn” to mention a few, and I am now writing my first book that I hope will come in hand for people going through hard times in life. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Пікірлер: 32
This is the face of courage. If she can’t be an inspiration to us, no one can.
Brilliant. Beautiful. Radiant. These are the words that come to mind as I watch this.
Brave! I felt ashamed but only because the society was blaming me, not because there was something I should be feeling ashamed. We need more people like you and put down the blaming culture... thank you
I have shame for my behavior, it’s debilitating. You have nothing to be ashamed of but I understand how you feel .❤️
I worked with someone who was very open about her colostomy bag. I admired her so much for being so comfortable to talk to me about it all. But I have my own shames I can't get over. I wish I had that strength. Even today there are plenty of times I'm too scared people will just happen to know all my faults, & mistakes from the past. I am overwhelmed with feeling separate from other humans already.
@helenheggadon6324
4 жыл бұрын
Anita Cigarette. Be brave. Maybe start with a counsellor, it helped me
Bless your heart, thanks for your wisdom and courage ❤
THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIGHT
Beautiful amazing impressive soul . Society judges but to stay strong . We find ways to may it successfull n live. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
you are brave and an inspirational, thankyou, much love to you
Thank you for sharing Stina ❤
Fabulous topic, well presented. I use a peristeen and a stoma is the next thing if and when needed. I use a peristeen for incontinence of my Bowels. It allows me to live a mostly normal life. I love it. There should defo be more talk about poop!
Good vid. The book "30 Days to Overcome Shame" by Harper Daniels, was also a big help.
Amazing Talk WOW. ❤❤❤
The position she is taking leads her to not being able to talk - just about the "bad." By talking about the 'bad,' she's then able to talk about the 'good.' Paradox. If we never (except) our so called flaws, we will never be happy. There are so many unhappy people. In her excepting of this 'flaw,' of hers, she has dealt with it physically, intelligently, medically, socially, privately, and of course in a family setting.
💕💃🏼
👍🏼♥️🌹🌹🌹
Throw the 10 Commandments OUT the window
I am ashamed that I attempted suicide, 56 hrs. Unconscious. Basically I could not longer raise my kids, love my wife, or go to work. I had an affair, my wife hates me, l don't like her. The world put me on disability, I took it. My wife turned kids against me. I live with my dog. I never see my kids. Should I feel shame? Or just say this my life and I going to enjoy it alone. I do not crie about it.. I am stronger than they are. They are ashamed of me.15 years now. Should I be ashamed of my life?
@MrIlovebmw86
2 жыл бұрын
We all fight our battles.
@ReallyGotMotion
Жыл бұрын
No, always have to look on the bright side. What interests do u have?
@profngurewamwachofi3243
9 ай бұрын
Apologise to them then forgive yourself and live your life regardless of whether they forgive you or not. Everybody deserves to be happy. Nobody is perfect. Truth shall set you free.
It would be great if a robot gave a ted talk!
😍🙏🏻🩵
You had a child though so it can't have been that bad. Which is it? You talk about shame but also unconditional love from family.
@stinahagglund
3 жыл бұрын
Hi Thomas! I would love to share my medical records with you but my mission is not to convince you on how bad it really was. But yes, I was just days away from dying, and that was six months after I gave birth to my daughter. Why I mention the unconditional love from my family is to explain why I am so confident and knowing my worth even though shame was tossed in my face. I also want people to know how powerful unconditional love is. It can make you strong enough to go through anything. Even the darkness of shame. Have a good day!
@tomgoldswain3
3 жыл бұрын
@@stinahagglundyour medical condition is irrelevant, the subject of your talk is 'shame'. If you never felt bad about any of your medical conditions, only happiness and pride - as you put it, you didn't have shame to overcome in the first place. Your resources to deal with your problems were in place so that you didn't even begin to experience debilitating shame. Your talk makes absolutely no sense to me. You're saying you don't have any problems, that instead you had a happy upbringing and adulthood. I came here for help with my own clinical shame, but you haven't taught me anything. I would say I'm saddened to hear about your condition, but if you aren't then neither am I!
@enrapturedgoose5317
3 жыл бұрын
@@tomgoldswain3 damn bro there is no need to be hostile lol. If the video didnt resonate with you, just move onto another video. I thought it was a nice video
@tomgoldswain3
3 жыл бұрын
@@enrapturedgoose5317 what a non comment
@enrapturedgoose5317
3 жыл бұрын
@@tomgoldswain3 dude your comments are cleary a projection of your frustration at your own situation, and you are taking it out on other people. "I came here for help... you havent taught me anything" etc etc. You are trying to make it all about you, and disregarding the whole video and saying it's pointless because it didnt resonate with you. KZread videos arent gonna be the ideal place to cure clinical shame. A clinical place is usually gonna be best for serious clinical problems (aka therapy and/or medication)
Yeah, fight shame by guilty and shame. They should accept you and repress their feelings and be "understanding" or else... Sure. I would prefer to not listen about your poop because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Please be understanding 😀