Shame Clues: From Embarrassment To Breakthrough | Sheila Rubin | TEDxSanRafaelWomen

What if your shame could work for you instead of getting in your way? Learn the physical, emotional, and behavioral clues to understand how to work with shame in a way that can transform your relationship with yourself and others. Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT, RDT/BCT is a leading authority on Healing Shame. She developed Healing Shame Therapy work over the last two decades and is the co-director, with Bret Lyon, of the Center for Healing Shame, in Berkeley, California. The Center is a continuing education provider that offers Healing Shame workshops and a full certification and training program to therapists and helping professionals.
Sheila has delivered talks, presentations, and workshops across the country and around the world at conferences from Canada to Romania. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Registered Drama Therapist and a Board Certified Trainer. She has developed therapy techniques to work with the all-pervasive shame and trauma that underlie eating disorders, addictions, and toxic family dynamics.
Sheila has served as adjunct faculty at JFK University and the California Institute of Integral Studies. She’s the therapist’s therapist and offers therapy and consultation to therapists online. Her expertise, teaching, and writing contributions have been featured in numerous publications, including seven books. For more information www.HealingShame.com This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 36

  • @homelessbre5170
    @homelessbre517011 ай бұрын

    I felt like she really tried to protect and guide us as the audience. I appreciate how careful she was

  • @CincoYT01
    @CincoYT012 жыл бұрын

    1. How do you handle a compliment? 2. How do you handle if you make a mistake? 3. What if somebody puts you down? Or say something mean or criticize you? Cognitive reactions to shame: I am wrong, there most be something wrong with me, i blew it up! I cant never do anything right *all illusions of shame and guilt and judgment* Freeze trauma response Body sensations: Closed throat, chest inside, red face Actions for shame: putting others down, criticizing, blaming, yells. Shame helps us survive as species What is shame trying to tell you? Lack of boundaries? Shame can be a friend not an enemy Love and support, hugs are kind ways to heal shame be very very kind

  • @bluemagic9531

    @bluemagic9531

    4 ай бұрын

    can you explain how shame can be a friend. it seems more destructive than helpful. i can see guilt helping as in found guilty or plead guilty to pay consequences to be ashamed of something is an inner soul tic that eats a way at someone.

  • @sebastienmorand2479
    @sebastienmorand247913 күн бұрын

    'Ask what your shame is trying to tell you.' 'Your shame could be a friend.'

  • @devidaughter7782
    @devidaughter7782 Жыл бұрын

    this talk was SO helpful for me! I have been getting in touch with the immense shame triggered in me around prayer, spirituality, meditation, etc. for so many years, when I have entered into these activities, feelings of panic, of dis-connect, and then beliefs that 'there is something wrong with me', have overwhelmed me, causing my 'brain to freeze up' as Dr. Rubin has so clearly explained. I can't pray from a place of shut-down, or try to do some visualization meditation, or participate in ceremony, etc., so I get myself going in the exact opposite direction intended. feeling shame about feeling shame, I have stayed silent about what has been going on for me internally, and am only now beginning to voice my experiences, and 'air the shame' in order to begin to heal it. thank you so much Dr. Rubin for sharing your important work on shame, with the world!

  • @JanKatrinaGuanzon
    @JanKatrinaGuanzon Жыл бұрын

    Yes. Thank you so much. Self compassion and self acceptance is the key ❤️

  • @centurionstrengthandfitnes3694
    @centurionstrengthandfitnes3694 Жыл бұрын

    Deserves way more views. Resonated a lot. Much love to the speaker for this.

  • @s.l.g.
    @s.l.g.4 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much. The example with the yelling father helps me understand my parents' reactions when I was a child, and mine today, being on the defensive when people make a request I can't honour.

  • @JeffBazell
    @JeffBazell2 жыл бұрын

    I knew (and loved) Sheila in high school, and I'm not ashamed to say that. Hi dear friend! Great talk. xo

  • @dakinikiss9413
    @dakinikiss94132 жыл бұрын

    Great job, Sheila love! 💛🌟💛

  • @genegould6357
    @genegould6357 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you! Your talking about shame and how to deal with it. Is so helpful!!

  • @meridethshamszad3061
    @meridethshamszad30613 жыл бұрын

    thank you for the excellent talk about such ways to identify and work with shame!

  • @pablogarcesdiaz1151
    @pablogarcesdiaz1151 Жыл бұрын

    I loved this. Thank you

  • @Crookqt
    @Crookqt3 ай бұрын

    Shame and pride balancing act. 14:00 Great video

  • @PlayfullyDee
    @PlayfullyDee3 жыл бұрын

    I love this so much Sheila!

  • @centerforhealingshame5909

    @centerforhealingshame5909

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks Dorothy!

  • @fergusmaher7490
    @fergusmaher74902 жыл бұрын

    Excellent talk

  • @patiencejewel
    @patiencejewel3 жыл бұрын

    Beautiful! I learned a lot. Thank you Sheila!

  • @centerforhealingshame5909

    @centerforhealingshame5909

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thanks so much

  • @susanfieldsmith8093
    @susanfieldsmith80933 жыл бұрын

    Loved this talk Sheila.

  • @centerforhealingshame5909

    @centerforhealingshame5909

    2 жыл бұрын

    That's so wonderful

  • @frankdelahue9761
    @frankdelahue97612 жыл бұрын

    I experienced embarrassment so many times that I can't even remember.

  • @beautifulwoman1049

    @beautifulwoman1049

    Жыл бұрын

    Hey can you share with me? I am looking for someone to share with as an outlet

  • @frankdelahue9761

    @frankdelahue9761

    Жыл бұрын

    @@beautifulwoman1049 I took a leak and my female neighbor saw my junk exposed.

  • @frankdelahue9761

    @frankdelahue9761

    Жыл бұрын

    @@beautifulwoman1049 I almost died of embarrassment.

  • @beautifulwoman1049

    @beautifulwoman1049

    Жыл бұрын

    @@frankdelahue9761 the best thing to do is find a way to laugh at it

  • @frankdelahue9761

    @frankdelahue9761

    Жыл бұрын

    @@beautifulwoman1049 I wasn't amused at all.

  • @ashmeadali
    @ashmeadali10 ай бұрын

    Sing HU daily to open your heart to love yourself and all of life, unconditionally, as God does. HU app shows how.