What was one of your biggest takeaways from this talk on things you're responsible for?

@bayousurvivor

4 жыл бұрын

Forgiveness of mistakes from the past. Although I think a bit of karma came my way, which I ended up interpreting as “justice” or evening the scales. That made me feel better about the crap I did to other people and how I mistreated them. I finally came to terms that I was an asshole and got what was coming to me

@decoy2636

4 жыл бұрын

The need for forgiveness for all concerned. Owning you mistakes, remember them and let yourself know that others mistakes are their own and even if we are negatively affected by their actions. I own half of the failure of the marriage, but am not responsible for the rest which is not what I can control. Even when the outcome of the totality could have a completely different outcome. Grieve our loss and push through our own pain, make necessary adjustments to enable us to move forward into a new and different reality of our own creation. Let loose any negative ties, keeping the positive things. Then being grateful for what we have, and not the illusion that we lost, move into our own uniquely different reality. Powerful stuff to help the soul in these words here. Truth sets us Free at last

@lilijimenez3629

4 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling One of the biggest takeaways was that our dreams are most important to us, not anyone else. Therefore, it is our responsibility to pursue them.

@elipz6405

4 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling To stop having expectations of others-including grown children. I retired due to physical pain & disability. It has taken several painful disappointments for me to realize that I’m the only one that is here to care for my own interests & needs. I am am artist, since I’ve retired I have not created any artworks. Depression has caused me to loose interest in art. Thank you. I COMMIT to making art again.😉💎❣️

@HopeHasWarriors

4 жыл бұрын

Julia Kristina Counselling I needed to hear that I’m responsible for my thoughts....and that I need to forgive myself. Thank you💙

Forgiving myself for past decisions that seemed right at the time. It was a learning time for me.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely - we often need to fail in order to learn.

@LauraVee63

4 жыл бұрын

Heather Andrus: I, too, have a hard time forgiving myself for major decisions that seemed right at the time, that were life altering that I can't seem to shake off....which happened nearly 11 years ago. I'm slowly healing but it's so hard to forget about the foolish decisions I made. Thanks for your comment.

The vast majority of people out there *don't* do anything about their past pain. That creates a lot of friction and obstacles. Trying to reason with them can be futile because they are reacting out of emotions that they don't acknowledge and often don't even know that they have. These emotions are still controlling them in some ways.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

I would agree with that.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Why do you think people don't do anything about their pain?

@Virgifus

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah because they think is easier not to or they don't know they can actually do something to feel better about it or know how to deal with their past failures or they think they need to hold on the pain to hopefully avoid doing the same mistake or all of the above.

@mr.d.572

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah I could write a whole long essay about that 🙄 From what some people have told me (I ask when I can get away with it!), they are afraid to go through the pain of confronting their past, and especially the grieving process. We live in a culture designed to remove pain from us and make us comfortable. The culture also pushes us to always be "moving forward." People have said to me that they don't want to "go back," they "just want to move forward." That they don't want to voluntarily bring themselves pain, they want to _avoid it._ So, they see going through the process as a) Pain, and b) as a "step back," and that all makes them afraid and/or reluctant to go through it. Others (like some of my family) just refuse to see their issues or their need. They think they're "doing fine" even though they clearly are living out of dysfunctional patterns and beliefs from their past that limit them. The irony of course is that they think they're moving forward but can't fully move forward the way they want without going back and confronting their past, and untangling it. I admit it can be a very difficult, rough, sometimes frustrating process. But so worth it! 👍 I could go on and on, but I know your time is valuable. Thanks for asking and have a great day! 🤗

@kimsullivan

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah I can only speak for myself, but the past is daunting. I've been through some childhood trauma and abuse, and when I was a younger adult, I learned to just plow through and earn some level of success despite the odds against me. However, in my 40s, it came back and bit me in the arse, with moderate to severe depression and a "nervous breakdown". In my eagerness to get "over" my past, I went to therapy and was re-traumatized by the childhood crap with a therapist who wasn't trauma-informed. Let me tell you, I did not know the importance of that. Now I'm in therapy to learn some skills to deal with the pain and finally put it to rest. After going through this over the past 2.5 years, I wouldn't blame people for being afraid to face the pain and trauma. It is HARD, and the pain is real. I'm glad I'm doing it, but it's not for the faint of heart. Oh, and if you are in pain like this, get meds if you need them. No shame there. We all need to take care of ourselves... I am just learning this.

Healing from my past is probably what I struggle with the most.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Jaime - are you making space for this in your life?

@axlfox4048

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah I'm planning on starting to

@tiffanysar-lecluze5679

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@freshliving4199

3 жыл бұрын

Only way you can become responsible for your life is to drop the anger, judgment and unforgiveness. This will cause you to stop blaming everything and everyone for your issues. This is how you are healed from your past that only exists today in your imagination.

This video came in perfect timing because I was skeptical about pursuing my dreams. And the part of pursuing my dreams hit home for me. I was afraid of other people's opinions and being called "stupid" until I realized the fact that it's my life and not other people's. So with that being said I'm working on the journey of going to school and getting educated in graphic design.

@lesliengo8347

2 жыл бұрын

Very true, it isn't anybody else's life we are living. I am also in graphic design too!

@ingenuity168

2 жыл бұрын

Wishing you success in your goals.

I've been avoiding life for years and I struggle with so much regret/guilt/shame for past life choices. It's only recently that I've researched(clicked on a few links, watched a few videos) on self help and what I need to do to get outta this funk and engage in life. Your videos are SO inspiring and on point to what/how I need to hear this advice😍

Yes !!! We're responsible of our thoughts, words and actions... we might not be able to control every thought that comes to mind but we can choose to substitute the negative ones for positive ones, we can choose to respect and love ourselves ♡

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Yes! We can chose to love, respect and accept ourselves. Love this.

@ErikaK

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah ♡♡♡ love your channel !

@STMARTIN009

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

#StopAvoidingYourLife You are 100% responsible for managing: 2:51 your own thoughts 3:58 your feelings 4:53 your intentions 6:13 communicating your needs

Its very important to confront your obstacles. You will never truly be able to move forward if you are always looking behind.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed.

Your videos resonate with me so strongly my friend. Im 33m who is recovering from Addiction and a brain injury, that was a direct result of my using. Im on your wait list to join the shift society. I had an excellent therapist last year who used Internal family systems model and I found it to be incredibly transformative, unfortunately we had to stop because of insurance :/ and no luck finding someone "in network." 4 years clean and working again, slowly but surely getting on my feet. I am trying to make my web of support stronger.

I want to start a new career. Learn to play the banjo and speak my Grandmother's native language, Italian. Things I never thought possible until I started doing the self-reflection and inner work that led me to this channel. Thank you. Your name will go on my Gratitude list today.

Healing my past is my responsibility is a big thing for me 🙏

Awesome video, Julia!! They all resonate with me but my biggest one, was "your HEALING is your RESPONSIBILITY". Thank you so much.

I'm currently trying to work on building my boundaries of what I will allow and not allow as far as how I wish to be treated. I am learning to take responsibility for my own life and the decisions I make.

I have a dream to sing in a band. I've convinced myself for too many years that I'm not good enough and don't have enough time to be a singer. I rarely allow myself time to doc or accomplish personal things that make me happy. I start and then give up after a couple days... same with this dream. I'm working on trusting myself more and following through with little goals first to build me to my big dream. Thank you Julia for your support!:)

Am in counseling right now, but have lots of past trauma I haven't healed from. Just needing help making peace & healing from all of it. Things are looking more up than they have in a long time, but still in the dark tunnel. Haven't reached the light on the other side just yet. Still have a ways to go. Needing help & encouragement in order to do so

@ushamgr4588

2 жыл бұрын

Same💜

Wow... I've been binged watching your videos for a day now. They're exactly what I need, after I couldn't sleep last night after I failed at keeping a boundary and went into my usual downward spiral of beating myself up for yet again being a failure, and then got sick of it. It's been nearly forty years of guilt, resentment, walking on eggshells, trying to make myself small so I don't get in the ways of others, trying to keep everyone happy because I lose my shit when I think people are unhappy. I finally got tired of it, and your videos are giving me the inspiration to let myself exist and hopefully not be terrified all the time. Thank-you.

Thank you Julia 😊

Much happier since I started doing this but it’s scary and not easy. But so worth it!

The hardest one for me is telling people my needs. I had to ask for help today making a stress ball with water beads. I was able to help some even keeping my hand brace on. I just held the balloon instead of the water bottle. I've found that people don't mind helping just like at my day program on days when I do dishes I can't lift the heavy pans so whoever is helping me (either washing or drying) need to do the heavy stuff altogether but I try to make it fair by doing more of the smaller stuff. One of the reasons my hand is bad is I had surgery on my wrist and washed a pan too early it didn't bother me at the time. I know my friend that was helping me that day wouldn't have minded at all he helps me all of the time. I just struggle with knowing my own limits sometimes. It didn't hurt at the time until later but I had had carpal tunnel surgery like the week before so looking back I should have known better. I also have a hard time relaxing and not being over responsible but it's not good for me or anyone else when I get overwhelmed. I've improved in that area in the last few years. I would have never asked help five years ago. I like to help people but then I feel like a burden when I ask funny how that works but I've found people like helping me as much as I like helping them.

I relate to so many of these, but the one that stands out to me today is that I am responsible for pursuing my own dreams. I am always seeking other people's opinions about my ideas and (secretly) hoping someone will cheerlead for me, and even go so far as tell me how to start! I am completely shot down when someone injects reality into my dream, and I just give up so easily. Yep, need to start taking responsibility for the dreams myself, and stop waiting for others to validate them (me?).

This is one of the better channels :). You are amazing and very talented. It shows that you've done your work. Thanks for helping us all do better with loving ourselves. I'm hungry for sanity due to being surrounded by insanity, haha. WHAT A BREATH OF FRESH AIR! I love this: your pain is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility. Absolutely agree. It IS possible. Thank you! Will work hard on being compassionate, a friend to myself and forgiving too. I have been practicing this for several years now but it helps to hear it from someone else's mouth who gets it. Thanks for being you, you are awesome. Love you hair :). It's a pleasure to watch you.

Julia, I can’t express my gratitude enough. I stumbled on your YT channel recently for the first time and you’ve since made an immense, lasting, incredible, deep & thoughtful mark on my life. Last night I joined The Shift Society and I couldn’t be happier and more excited about my decision! Your words & spirit truly heal others, and I am so ready to be on this journey. Thank you for standing strong with me. xxx blessings to you!

I have been sharing all your videos with so many people. Thank you so much!

Great job Julia!

Thank you Julia, this is one of your best videos so far :) and maybe won't be so popular since we sometimes avoid responsibility but now I will play it everytime that I am tempted to forget this simple truths

always awesome!!!!! My share is... during thearpy in my twenties (a couple years ago) I discovered I was presented with a gift... my family specifically my mother and father are the masters of disapproval and agendas with passive hostility... from that I learned I would never have approval which freed me up early in my life from seeking approval... it was a double "edged sword" but a powerful life lesson.

Thank you. I've been neglecting intimacy within myself due to fear and also not knowing where to start. Your videos help, thank you again.

Thank you Julia, keep going ❤

I loved this video, something that I was needing to hear!! Even though I know that I can accomplish my goals.. always I have doubts on myself!

Thank you for this video. Please keep creating your content.

Julia, I love your passion and teaching. I've learned so much on my lifelong journey of self improvement from you. I'm more insightful and a better person from watching your videos. Thank you! xx

This video is actually mind blowing. Thank you thank you Julia for making this video!! 👍😍

Thank you.

Reconnecting in reflection with my current unresolved issues and implementing your perspectives as a way to get all my windows open internally and my emotional self managed and drawers accessible. Retaining and Including clarities as options while healing myself has made my cup runners over

Thank you 💜

Dear Julia, thank you very much for your great work, for your kind voice and your beautiful smile! I am so happy I have find you here! I love the way you teach, your understanding for life and people. I admire that you expose yourself like that to help us. I admire and respect that beyond words! For me you are the perfect teacher! I am listening to you since 2017 and I have grown to a more stabile person daily ever since. I have never put a comment untill now! But now I just have to! I just don't understand how somebody cannot like this Video. But I have seen yesterday, that there are people who dislike Seinfeld Bloopers.... So... I don 't know. If that can happen, then everything it 's posible,I guess. Liebe Grüße aus Deutschland! 💕 Ich liebe dich!! Danke!

Working on all these things. Getting there, slowly slowly. Thank you for sharing 🙏

@STMARTIN009

2 жыл бұрын

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Thank you for another great video.

It's pretty clear to me that to successfully navigate and accomplish the things on this list, controlling your thoughts is the key. Will you please make a video about that? (Or, if you already have one, let us know.) I would love to be able to feel better by being in control of my thoughts, so I can be in control of my feelings, to be able to think of my past and forgive myself, and move on from past pain. I know I'm not alone in wondering some key ideas, concepts, practices, etc. to control my thoughts. We'd love to see that video! 🙌🏼

Hi. I got to admit, i really enjoyed this video! Julia my friend, you do not fail to amaze me. I love it! Very subtle humor here and there, too.

Thx for your advice. I think i have a lack of responsibility for my feelings.

As a woman with ADHD and Aspergers, learning and studying and practicing what I am responsible for and what I am not responsible for has really helped me in my day to day life. I'm proud that I have begun to let the shame go; that I allow myself to take small (but significant) steps towards living my best life. The shame I feel is not and has never been mine! I know in my heart that I don't intend to make people uncomfortable or cross their boundaries. Let me give you an example! The female lead role in TV drama series "The bridge" is a police officer who has Aspergers. A scene that resonated with me is when she's trying to connect with people she work with by saying: "Oh, it's time for small talk? I got my period this morning!" If she had told them about her period to intentionally gross them out, she'd be mean. But she did the best she could. And so do I.

@nancysungyun

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, that is so wonderful that you are doing that! Great job!

@EmmaMartinaSweden

4 жыл бұрын

@@nancysungyun Thank you!

@nancysungyun

4 жыл бұрын

@@EmmaMartinaSweden 😊

I really like the sound clarity in your videos.

Girlie Girl: All of these connected! Got some work ahead of me! Thanks

We can only live our lives and not anybody else's. I tend to feel anxious about people's thoughts about me, and if I made someone upset or disappointed it means I did something wrong. Thank you Julia for helping me realize this

This is what I needed to hear, thank you! I have a tendency to avoid my problems when things get hard instead of comforting them head on! ❤️

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

It's not always easy, that's for sure. Good for you for being willing to do the work.

@admirbarucija2018

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah That's absolutely true, and I do appreciate the kind words. It takes a lot of effort to undergo recovery and some days will definitely be harder than others, but patience is key. I hope you're having a wonderful week!

Thank you for the amazing & helpful videos!! I’ve checked out your courses and the shift society but for me it’s all out of reach. I’m a single mother and simply can’t afford the cost which is disappointing but reality. I’ll continue to learn as much as I can from your videos and hope to one day be part of your community.

@lesliengo8347

2 жыл бұрын

I wish you all the best

Really enjoyed this video

Hello from Portugal, love your videos!

Happy New Year....thank you for all you do. You are soo awesome. I am a heartfelt go getter who has discovered you because I was blessed with finding the best help with all my struggles! Yes, I'm responsible for my own journey & I'm up for it in the healthiest way, I need to figure it out! I am wondering if there are concepts that come from effects of our childhood where no one was home or available. Picture perfect home, meals, but no help with anything, mostly abandoned, wasn't a.loed to have friends over. I was born expected to just be self sufficient, I guess, but was just knowing very little about the world...I still feel lost at times. Married divorced, raised 3 good kids....but am perplexed by my life. As you say, I did the best I could but basically not getting what I want. I don't have money to spare & have to work full time w low hourly wages just to survive & now the covid restrictions ...what the heck?!! I'm 70yrs old, very healthy, but I'm tired of the deal!! Am I dealing with feelings of abandonment? Can you do a video of that issue? Thank you!

I’ve never been taught this before. I’m in my 30 and feel like I’m only starting to learn this now . Thanks for being the guiding voice

@rdsa1

2 жыл бұрын

it's never too late to learn new ideas , concepts , things. enjoy learning!

Hooray, the traditional intro is back, I've truly missed it. Thanks Julia.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Is it??? I didn't even notice! lol

You started on fire 🔥

100% blaming myself for past mistakes and living in the guilt. Most of them apply but that’s definitely a big one, especially lately.

I just got on the waitlist YAY!

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Yay!!

@bridgetarndt1302

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah I'll happily use any guidance in getting my anxiety back under control it's been running rampant as of late

All of this!!!

I really like your videos, you've helped me a lot understanding myself and others.... just something I think you could check on, is changing the phrase "men and women" for "people"... I've known several that don't describe themselves with neither.

I love Psychology Julia I took Intro To Psychology and Abnormal Psychology in college.

Regardless all the voices in my head I agree it's up to me to responsibility to do with them and instead of listening , I try to speak to my inners self . And respect others ppl boundries for not helps . But its complex due to a disability that hinders every aspect of me . But after 5 years of therapy I'm trying not to lose myself and have a good relationship with myself

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

Goof for YOU for showing up for yourself - that's everything.

I think it's too black & white to say we are responsible for all our emotions. As someone said, there's emotional abuse. I manage a domestic violence program, where I see the role that perpetrators play in belittling their victims. And people say " just leave". Leaving is the most dangerous time where the victims chance of homicide increases. She may have limited resources & children to feed. Sometimes we have to check our privellege & remember that everyone has "choice" but depending on social location that choice can be very limited.

@SleeplessinOC

4 жыл бұрын

Karla Heath exactly . If someone comes up to you and punch you in the gut , do you get to choose to be angry or not ? You’re already feeling something without even having chosen it first to begin with . This is why I have a hard time with the whole premise that our feelings are a result of our thoughts because there are many many times I’m already feeling something before I even know what it was I thought beforehand .

@Hildred6

4 жыл бұрын

SleeplessinOC You’re right, she is only talking about feelings that arise in normal situations, not violent or abusive situations. The feelings that appear in those situations are normal fight or flight responses. We can’t control those instinctive responses.

@gentlebutch

4 жыл бұрын

I agree my mom stayed because their were kids that she didn't have custody of because it was his first wife's children. Their mom died of cancer and had been in and out of foster care. I think I would have killed him and/or kidnapped them and went on the run. A big part of that though is I saw what she went through. This was the 1980s in a conservative area of the Bible Belt in the USA. It's hard enough to get out now let alone back then. My mind did go to childhood experiences at first but I thought that's probably not what she meant. I'm glad you made this comment though.

sometimes telling someone your need is telling a person not to do something anymore, i.e., stalking you on social media. what's sad and weird is usually this type takes offense when you're simply trying to explain something that is hurting your environment. learning not to let their butt hurt feelings affect your honesty is simply a manipulation one must not allow. it's their problem not yours.

Recently my heart was broken by someone who I didn't feel was treating me fairly. I didn't feel like this person cared about the feelings I'd voiced to them, and that they would not respect boundaries if I set them. Ultimately, I ended up being disrespectful and cruel to this person as a method of punishing them for hurting me, and to drive them away so they would not be able to do it again. While I did recognize what I had done was wrong and I did apologize, for a long time I was too embarrassed to really face it or think about it. I was scared about what it said about me that I would be hurtful and disrespectful just because I was upset. But when I really forced myself to look at it and accept that this was something I had done and could do again if I didn't learn from it, I found that I felt like I gained back some of the power it felt like I'd been denied in that relationship. Maybe I couldn't make that person care about my feelings or even voluntarily respect my boundaries, but I could set boundaries with myself about my own behavior. I can choose not to be that kind of person.

I was not like this before. But right now if you ask me what are my dreams i dont know. My mind is foggy. I have so many wishes, urges. But determination is low, enthusiasm is low. Its been a really tough war

I'm responsible for what I have for a life. I had a dream of finding love but I'm struggling to find any value in myself. I wish I had a friend to talk to and the harder i try or set my intention that way the lonelier I become. I make believe the songs that come on the radio are being sung for me, I know they're not but it's what I have for my social life. I'm not quitting on myself, maybe I'll get a cat someday 😊

Advice is words. Its the thoughts they generate in yourself, your ability to tell what is perspective versus issue, and then to make yourself change that matters. I am trying to rediscover my dreams after years of trying to make shared dreams in marriage my own. I can parrot other peeople's advice. But what I can really say is that if you are not responsible for other's behavior, just your own, you can not teach. You lead, you show by example, you give benefits to those who will understand/accept the package of you and your new behavior. Whevever I see a basic response about "others", I am wondering how the writer is really curating their life. News, politics, even meetings at work all seem to focus on "them, noty me" as the problem. If you consume life like that, how can you reinforce the message of "you are responsible". I even wonder about true crime podcasts and drama. There is always a spin of "the world is out to get you" which really makes the audience feel like victims...

I know I'm a different person than I was in the past. The choices I made to handle problems yesterday are not the same choices I make when handing problems today.

Oh just flippin' great. HOW do I live in my last bit of denial NOW???????

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

lol. I hear you! Full conscious living is NOT easy - that's for sure. But it is worth it.

Thank u this was useful. I want to hear more about responsibility. There is something in my life that makes it so responsibility isn't fully clicking & happening - I would think I am just too comfortable in life so the need for that is not big enough - but could this really be it? I think/ Hope there might be something I am not seeing actually... Could it be that my self esteem is just too low because I haven't brought a lot of projects to a good finish? And maybe my hope is just a subtle form of avoiding - and then there the thing is - how to get the energy & momentum to stop continuously avoiding? At the same time I am a little addicted to emotional processing, meditation, inner work retreats - these take in so much space in my life (i make that so) so that I am not actually creating things - often times there is this low grade anxiety in me - especially when creating something there is just this increasing contraction in me.. The anxiety has something to do with accepting death (thus life) and the imperfectionism of life or my creations & the inability to 'control' life.. like I just dont know how to start getting my sh% together. It's overwhelming even thinking about it and all I see is just how hard it is going to be.. So eventually I am never actually living my life.. Am i overanalyzing here? Lol. An answer would still be nice tho 😅 A dream of mine is creating men's retreats and conscious food snacks.

Hi Julia! I am a new subscriber to your channel and I just have a question about dealing with trauma. I’ve had some traumatic things happen in my life and I can’t afford a therapist.. what do I do?

love this video! How to really know what I want now in life?That's my problem. Any suggestions? I wasted so much time already...

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

What comes to mind when you imagine your ideal life?

@rosem5558

4 жыл бұрын

Mrs Senta what are the things that bring a smile to your face and some feeling of contentment and fulfillment, I’ve spent most of my life asking myself the same as well and I realized there’s many...some more meaningful than others so you figure it out as you go ✌🏻take care

I’m not perfect yet I try very hard to not be a Jerk. I do come across as jerk at times😒 If I ask someone to give me the task their asking to do in a different format from which their requesting? I’ve been called, in different words, ‘you’re idiot’. (Smh) Today I just try & watch who I give my Energy & Time to. Life isn’t perfect yet I’m finally Happy for the Woman I am today💛👍🏼. (It only took me close to a half Century to do better) *Better then I was Yesterday*🤗☮️

I am responsible for my thoughts.

Heal

Link to the "how to light yourself more, or something like that” vid pls???

I want to travel the world and build a family that is healthy, happy amd peaceful

Intentionnn. That's a big one. I always automatically try to read minds

My dream is to be my own boss and work at home! I just have to figure out how I am going to get there, and what I want to do.

Add to tell my dad I'm sorry that I thought I wasn't good enough for him because I am well worth and good enough and I'm capable of being loved and try to show him the opposite of what he showed me because I'm not the one to be judging God will handle it so Julie when does the pain end I have a bright beautiful baby girl she's 11 and I'm lucky to have one but nothing at all so Scottsdale fashion jewelry I got I can't make someone love me if they don't I can't make someone want me if they don't but I will show my baby girl the difference between how I was raised and I will ask God to please forgive my father because I forgive him thank you Julie for today and I'll be looking forward to talking to you soon again thank you God bless you

My one question is then, how can we be in control of our emotions when someone does something to hurt us? Like how can we combat these emotions of hurt, sadness, betrayal, etc so that we are in control?

@GirlMomma

4 жыл бұрын

Great question

@rosem5558

4 жыл бұрын

Suzan Najmeddine if the emotion is there as a warning sign that something not right is happening you can take it as that and decide what to do, whether the person is toxic, open communication might not be a desirable option and they probably shouldn’t be in your life at all, but in a safe relationship this can be communicated and resolved if the people involved care about each other, I imagine that communicating honestly would lead to feelings of resolution, but most importantly no need to “combat” emotions, acknowledging them is often enough to bring some peace and accepting them and choosing the best course of action knowing that the emotion has a message for you. What you decide to do about feelings of betrayal has usually a lot to do with your boundaries as I found in my own experience ✌🏻Take care

@kimsullivan

4 жыл бұрын

If we're talking about abuse, then the imperative becomes - get away from the abuser (when safe). That's way easier said than done, but there's the national domestic abuse hotline 1−800−799−7233 that can offer help and understanding.

@GirlMomma

4 жыл бұрын

So much to think about, hey thanks! I know that was for Suzan, but made me think.💜

@nancysungyun

4 жыл бұрын

By realizing that the way someone else behaves has all to do with them and nothing to do with you. It is such a powerful thing to realize. When someone attacks you or is abusive in some way and you are not in the position to walk away at the moment, take a deep breath and just observe them as an observer. Look at it that way and see what you feel. And then notice that they are doing what they are doing all by themselves.

I'm labeled the bad guy , boss , jerk , the mean one if I say No to someone I don't agree with . But if someone talks too me in a threatening manner I'm not going to be so nice back . I often get silent treatment if I stand up for myself . I wanna be a musician that's my dream . But how do I further deal with narcissist who want to walk all over me and are disrespectful to me for setting boundaries ?

I've been wanting to go farther as an entertainer. Be one of the living legends. I still think I can but I must say that I still have my share of confusion as to what else to do about it.

@jordanhaynes9728

2 жыл бұрын

hope ur ok xx

Hi Julia. As always, your words and wisdom are fantastic. Thank you ! How can one get hold of you with a question...or fifty? ;) DM

To that question Julie to learn how to forgive myself and to be able to tell my kids I'm sorry I was on the truth and to face my dad face to face and tell him I'm sorry I'm not good enough but I'm good enough for myself and others that care that's my goal

Sometimes when you tell them your needs they don't want to hear what your needs are. So what do you do from there? Sometimes people is all about themselves not the other person.

Although I agree with most of what you say I sometimes wonder where therapists/psychologists get their info/truth from? Freud, Skinner, Neiche? What you say makes sense but sometimes certain dreams aren’t going to happen especially when we get older and have lots of responsibilities to others and financial limitations.

@sassysandie2865

4 жыл бұрын

Crazy Fox I am not a victim of anything.

@sassysandie2865

4 жыл бұрын

Crazy Fox it’s not quite that simple in the real world lol!

@sassysandie2865

4 жыл бұрын

Crazy Fox good for you and you should strive for what you want. I’m older so some dreams/goals have passed me by but I wasn’t willing to make certain sacrifices to obtain them. It’s all about choices. I’m ok with most of the choices I’ve made. I’m content and have peace. Best wishes to you!

@DrKatieCrifasi

4 жыл бұрын

sandramA heynemana context

@sassysandie2865

4 жыл бұрын

DrKatieCrifasi ?

I would like to recommend a really important and necessary topic that I know for a fact a lot of us is struggling with, which is “The Hustle Culture” because there’s a lot of life coaches out there who’s always advocating and spreading this kind of toxic hard working mindset, I would love hearing your thoughts about it 🙏🏼💗

What about people with severe trauma PTSD? Healing may be our responsibility however no one has simply decided to out think PTSD and succeeded....

@BrotherTree1

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not exactly sure that was what was implied. In my opinion, I don't see it that way at all and not the helpful definition of taking responsibility. It doesn't mean flipping the switch and "out think it". I think it's about knowing what you value, and if you value your health... not just improvement but starting off by making things 1% less worse than it already is... and assess that in small steps at a time, then hey... I think that's an amazing start to healing without high expectations of sudden helpfulness... that's not helpful, nor how PTSD works I imagine, similar to other mental health problems like depression and anxiety (or symptoms blended into other mental illnesses). It's not supposed to be easy of course, whoever says that in my opinion is either lying or downright not helping in my opinion.

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

What steps do you think you can start with to move toward healing your PTSD?

@Virgifus

4 жыл бұрын

Hi peaceful warrior, I recommend this book: The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. The author offers a great easy to read depiction of the most effective treatment combinations he found over his lifetime of research and practice as a therapist, also he has a very compassionate and human (versus doctor) approach to his patients. I enjoyed and gained a scientific evidence based yet easy to understand clarification around this complicated topic.

@gentlebutch

4 жыл бұрын

I think that it's being willing to do the work as long as you are working on trying to get better you are taking responsibility. I have a lot of mental health issues complex PTSD being one of them. I've improved but I still have a long way to go. EMDR helped a lot but so has CBT and also talking about it at my day program where other people with similar issues go. I've been working on it on and off since I was 15 and I'm 41 now but no one can say I don't work at it. I take breaks from therapy and working on it in general when I dont have as many symptoms and work harder on it when I have more symptoms. I also take medication to help with the nightmares so I can function during the day. It's been my experience that I'm harder on myself than other people are on me. I've always been hard on myself I'm learning to be a little nicer though. I think it's one thing to work on healing and another thing to just throw up your hands and say well there's nothing I can do. If you are putting in effort you are doing something I have to tell myself that often.

Because I am good enough

I’ve gotten much better about saying ‘no’, but still struggle with the anxiety and frustration when the person I say ‘no’ to tries to guilt trip me or manipulate me into saying yes with long texts. Ugh. Any tips?

@Moongazer17

4 жыл бұрын

PS Love your videos!

Yeah go tell that to a Narcissist. But nah, in all seriousness, I think it's integral knowledge for individuals to prevent forming warped and unstable minds. I think we'll get there in time, it's all about education... but also doing so in the most supportive and encouraging way possible to balance the challenges that come with it. And this may sound brutal but to quote Dr. Jordan Peterson: "Life is suffering, so get your act together". It can be perceived in any way you wish but at the heart of it, deep down in a place of kindness, it is so true in my opinion.

One of my dreams is to make pottery.

Hi Kristina, how do I get back someone that I want to marry and spend the rest of your life with???? She has told me that I am passive aggressive and until recently I thought it was only someone that avoided things in communication in a bad way to help themselves and about them. I understand it now that it is also someone who avoids conflict in communication worry about what someone thinks. Mine is also getting confused and not starting out with straight to point first. Then also forgetting things and then coming back to something and looks as to avoiding. She makes feel like a young kid that is in love with someone and you get nervous when questioned. I see nothing wrong on her side. This is what I want to say to her but giving her space, I’m just good with communication in conflict. I have learned a lot from her and want to keep growing. What is love, Melissa ❤️ Feeling crushed inside without you, I’ve never hurt inside this much. I miss you and love you with all my heart. I miss your touch and really miss your smile, among all that I love about you. I know what you said about how you feel and to move on. I will not give up hope because I feel in my heart that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I stand strong and firm on this! I believe we can make this work with some time, if you are willing to try again. I’ve never wanted to be with someone more than I do with you. SO NO, I WILL NOT STOP LOVING YOU! (THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME THAT WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU) We have had some good times and I believe we can have a lot more, I truly enjoyed all the time we’ve spent together and the adventures we’ve had and feel that we can have a life time of good times. I think so much every day about all that has happened and I feel I have learned a lot on those little things that have pushed us apart. Boundaries, I feel I understand so much more now and what to keep growing on as a man, father, a son and a partner in life. I believe I’ve come a long way and will keep growing each day. You mean more to me than you can imagine and know this, that I would always be there for you if we we’re TOGETHER and treat you in a loving, honest, trustworthy, respectful and with open and honest communication. I do now understand the passive aggressive part that you say about me (it’s about avoiding conflict which was me but not in the bad sense to hurt or make you feel bad. There are a handful of types of it that I do understand now) I would be to the fact and to the point because now I really see what I was doing wrong. I would never do anything purposely to hurt you or make you feel bad. I would support you in life and all the things that it brings, big or small. Though my life is not empty, there is an emptiness inside that you filled in. It’s that unspoken connection we have, which runs through me with a passion. The little things with you that I truly enjoyed, watching a show sitting close to you, rubbing your legs :), massaging you to ease the stress of your day, showing up late at night even only to be there for a short time, a simple walk to get a coffee, enjoying a read of the paper, a run together, getting a bite to eat (sushi), a trip to the hot springs (simply anything together). Just can not and will not give up on you, you fill something in me that I never had before and I just can’t let you go in my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you!!!! Everyday gets a little harder with missing you, though I try not to let it overwhelm me, it does at times. I feel in my heart and soul, that we can live a great life together, even if we have to take to a whole new level in taking it slow. We don’t get to chose who loves us, so know this is for certain....I LOVE YOU ❤️ P.S I still hope to go back to La Jolla Cove and swim to the caves and with the 7 gill sharks 🦈 with you! To Portland Oregon to beaches, back to Mexico to the old cities beyond Mexico City, Hawaii where my Uncle Rene is moving to and many other great places we could explore. These are some of the things that I feel I could only and want to enjoy with you :)

@monam5318

4 жыл бұрын

Figuring It out if someone doesn’t love you back that’s their loss. What you are feeling is not love that’s detrimental attachment. Love is reciprocated. Work on loving yourself first. You can find so many other good people who will love you like you deserve. Go to a psychologist. Work on developing self respect and self esteem. Check the work of Kim saeed, Lisa Romano and other narcissistic abuse experts. Check out the work of brene brown, eckhart tolle, sadhguru. Take part in religious activities or if you’re not religious try to be spiritual. Do yoga on channels like yoga with adrienne, meditate on apps like headspace or others. Read books about self compassion. You will be much better off honouring yourself and only people who honor you as well. You deserve it.

@danvega3499

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Mona, for the advice!

@monam5318

4 жыл бұрын

Figuring It out you’re welcome 😊

It's been better reaching out with need. Because 99.9% of my wants, Are not the things I need. I will cut through the spiritual materializem, so I can reach out to the things I need.

Julia, Your super smart? But your also So Beautiful!! 🤗🦋

💜🙏

I want to heal but I don't know how to

Hey Julia, i always listen to your mindfulness audio guide when meditating but recently my phone broke and i only had the file on there. I signed up again to recieve the audio guide through mail but it doesn't seem to work anymore. Is there anyway i can still get access to it?

@juliakristinamah

4 жыл бұрын

here's the link: tt.juliakristina.com/free-mindfulness-2/

@arnaudbaetens1732

4 жыл бұрын

@@juliakristinamah i had to try with 3 different mail adresses but i finally got it :) thanks for the reply!

I am responsible for my dreams being fulfilled. Who would have thought?

Is the last thing it's tell my oldest she's a blessing that I got to have her and hopefully one day me and her could be false hild and try to show my daughter no matter what she does wrong I won't turn my back on her like my dad did