I love this! It's funny, because my husband said to me the other night, you don't HAVE to talk to anyone. I'm always sharing, writing, giving and it felt strange to hear this from him. And then, I found your Ted talk a day later. :) thank you!

Treat people how you want to be treated

@juhgfdsapiyhhnnxc3517

21 күн бұрын

I want to be left alone and not spoken to 😂😂

When I first considered getting on FB a famous author friend told me she has two FB profiles, one for her professional life and one for her private life. She only posts messages to fans on her professional profile, no following others, responding, etc. On the private profile she only friends those that she "would have a cup of coffee with", close friends and family. I adapted the "cup of coffee" approach when I started, but allowed it to expand a bit to reconnect with long lost friends that I was close to in the past. This has worked well.

@CarolineMcGraw

7 жыл бұрын

Jim, that's a great idea! Thank you for sharing it here.

@jfo3000

7 жыл бұрын

You're welcome.

I keep getting threatening letters. Should I respond? They're from the IRS.

@thecatspyjamas1309

6 жыл бұрын

No, hahaha

@RSofio

3 жыл бұрын

LMAO!!

Another way to say this is that you cannot control other people's feelings, so you shouldn't waste energy trying to control things you can't. Other people's feelings are their own responsibility. Be nice, be kind and be helpful, but not by sacrificing your own health. What is interesting is that the idea of putting other people's feelings above your own self is inherently feminine. The selfish thought is masculine and it came from a man. Neither of these thoughts is better on its own, but the harmony of the two thoughts is where health lies.

@marleneedwards1746

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for commenting this. I needed to hear it. It's greatly appreciated.

@PaolaTheTimeLord

Жыл бұрын

this i needed to read. it’s as if though i realized that i needed time apart. it doesn’t make it bad. i’m not sacrificing my health

@ireneminkina3391

7 ай бұрын

So well said!

@joshuabuchanan1141

5 ай бұрын

What if we were able to control people's feelings?

@eschelar

5 ай бұрын

@@joshuabuchanan1141 you would be a tyrant.

Facebook is an ideological echo chamber and it's a drain. I want to be around people less when I'm on it. It's annoying. Been off for awhile now and don't feel like I'm missing anything. I love my solitude and the ability to live with leaving the people I've met in the past. Just like the speaker, a creepy ex contacted me and I decided to rid myself of access. He doesn't get access.

Beauty is in everyone's heart that wants to see it, it's far beyond the color of are skin.

Sooo true, expecially regarding girls and women who are grown up to be "kind" to be accepted. This isalesson eeryone should learn from childood

Great content idea

We need more of this, and less ‘it takes two minutes to respond to a text. I just must not be important enough to you.’ It’s so cringy and passive aggressive. It’s one thing to make a promise that you will drop everything to talk to a specific person, but honestly, even then there’s probably times where that isn’t possible. I have a life. I have obligations where it would be rude, if not grounds to receive consequences, to just stop to answer every ‘hey’ text I get. I am up front with people. I tell them I’m an introvert and usually pretty busy, so I sometimes it takes me a day or two to get back to things that aren’t an emergency situation. Before social media, people didn’t have hundreds, if not thousands, of friends. They had small groups of close friends, friends they saw frequently, but they weren’t going to share everything with them, and a whole bunch of acquaintances. It didn’t insult anyone to hear that the person they met a month ago wasn’t going to go home and check the answering machine just to talk to them about cats, or pizza, or how the weather has been. I have had social media since my teens but I’ve always been the type who only has a small percentage of close friends. I just don’t have the interest in treating friendship like a collection. I don’t want to be super close to everyone I meet and I’m not going to promise close friend perks like dropping everything at risk to myself, just because they are lonely at the moment. It’s not what we evolved to do, and quite frankly, I think it’s unhealthy to be that obsessed with external validation. Learn to validate and entertain yourselves, and it won’t matter if someone doesn’t get back to you for an hour, or even the next day, when they are busy.

Good for you🥂🥂🥂👍😎 Awesomeeeee

"To do something good for yourself," the selfishness I shall employ. Thank you.

@CarolineMcGraw

7 жыл бұрын

You're most welcome! Glad you enjoyed the talk!

150 people.... I have one friend.... and if he asks me to help him move one more time.... well I just don't know...

It's ironic that she mentioned un-following friends on FB. That's just what I did earlier today. Why complain about seeing pointless things on there when you can choose not to see them all. I felt a release when I did that.

i learnt new things, the word selfish,to be greedy and do something godd for yourself

@CarolineMcGraw

7 жыл бұрын

Powerful, isn't it? Thanks for watching!

Hmmm...I have done the same thing, never a replied to a msg from a man (I didn't know in person) on FB, and recieved backlash (insults) for not responding. Unless you can make it look like you never viewed the msg, it can have strange backlash. Not answering has actually caused harrassment to 2 of my gfs. Not answering can be dangerous, and that fact is wrong on all levels. I wonder how many other are sometimes *afraid* not to reply.

This makes no sense. Following friends on social media doesn’t take any energy on your part. No one is asking you to keep your eyes glued to your news feed to see what they’ve posted. It’s also not an interaction, so I don’t know why “no one owes you an interaction” point applies there. She seems to assume that having lots of contacts on social media is the same as having to constantly converse with them. I would probably have deleted the messages from that guy too, but that’s because he’s clearly not over her and further interaction wouldn’t be healthy.

Man I’m not texting anyone back. I don’t care lol. No one life if your job. Idc how they feel. It’s my life.

Me watching at 2023 😊😊😊

..clicking on "like" is the excruciating pain of giving and if you have taken on 5000 friends to be popular its just out of the question, what a pathetic environment...

Not to judge, but it sounds more like a fear of confrontation.

@Geeztown

6 жыл бұрын

It is good to have boundaries. But in practice, I see this line of thinking used as an excuse to be selfish in a bad way. People that want to be popular, but don't realize that relationships are always a 2 way street. In general, cutting off communication is never a good strategy unless you are trying to hurt people and ruin relationships. If you don't want to talk to someone, politely tell them so. If you don't, you are telling them that they aren't important and leaving it up to that person's imagination to figure out why you aren't talking to them. People aren't mind readers. They may just think there is a technical problem and try to reach you another way. Ignoring people doesn't solve problems, it creates more.

@NiceOCGuy1981

5 жыл бұрын

Geeztown well said.

@ktortora611

3 жыл бұрын

@@Geeztown so how do you politely tell someone you don’t want to talk to them and why? (Example: a neighbor you don’t like, but still have to deal with)

@Geeztown

3 жыл бұрын

@@ktortora611 @k tortora wow, this was 3 years ago. I still support my view though. I'd just say that being polite doesn't mean being dishonest. I think a lot of people tell "white lies" because they think they are being nice, but it's just compounding their problems. I'm not sure exactly why you don't like your neighbor or what the situation is, but I'd find a way to be honest. If you're busy, just say so. If they keep talking or bugging you, ask them why, make them get to the point, deal with whatever it is and move on.

@thinkingoutloud675

2 жыл бұрын

I don't fear the confrontation I fear exhausting the mental energy required to deal with that person at that moment.

Beauty is in everyone's heart that wants to see it, it's far beyond the color of are skin.

Beauty is in everyone's heart that wants to see it, it's far beyond the color of are skin.

Beauty is in everyone's heart that wants to see it, it's far beyond the color of are skin.

Beauty is in everyone's heart that wants to see it, it's far beyond the color of are skin.