Only Ashens can utter the phrase "I'm going to have to take a bite out of this arse to see if it's cola flavoured"

@swophie5144

4 жыл бұрын

"thank you for this opportunity to kiss your cola-flavoured arse" - stuart ashen, 2019

@kuroshiroOwO

4 жыл бұрын

when you crack out the flavoured lube

@KirbyMario12345_939

4 жыл бұрын

He didn't, however, spank it. A real shame.

@capt.raptor4650

4 жыл бұрын

in modern English: 'I eat ass'

@brookhaven86

4 жыл бұрын

Didn't that one dj say the same at burning man???

"Get out of my swamp whilst I drive my car, brethren" - Shrek

@literallystingy2858

4 жыл бұрын

Dessa 💀

@ladytaz6137

3 жыл бұрын

*Shrunk

@hypers829

2 жыл бұрын

Shrenk*

@knshinn2

Жыл бұрын

BREK

"Give it your some" is actually decent advice for people who too often give it their none.

@BandEater

4 жыл бұрын

Baby steps

@IcheeCOTC

4 жыл бұрын

How 'bout a nun?

@AgentTasmania

4 жыл бұрын

I gave it my all, but I don't have any.

@eiaboca1

3 жыл бұрын

@Samson Themighty well then you still are doing your best. Give yourself a break 🐱

@swagner58

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going to steal this line. So appropriate for my co-workers

Vampire-llama-shrek butt sounds like a very bizarre version of rock-paper-scissors.

@2-Way_Intersection

3 жыл бұрын

i'm guessing it goes shrek butt>vampire>llama>shrek butt

Whenever I read the word "Poundland" in the title of an Ashens video, my brain gets instant gratification, like one of Pavlov's dogs.

@TheProtronic

4 жыл бұрын

Probably sexual gratification you deviant?

@unironicdoomer614

4 жыл бұрын

Robert Sanders yeah, I too get a rock hard boner when I read poundland.

@hamstirrer6882

4 жыл бұрын

“Cheapo”

@notavailable8130

4 жыл бұрын

I have been waiting for a Poundland vid from BigClive I am guessing it would be vastly different =)

@bradlauk1419

4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately he doesn't do popstation "reviews" anymore

Ashens will take you to "Pound Land" on the third date.

@KasranFox

4 жыл бұрын

as long as he doesn't dip his soldier in me

@lillianfox6848

4 жыл бұрын

@@KasranFox I would much prefer if he did

@Bacony_Cakes

4 жыл бұрын

@@KasranFox And give you the some.

@squidracerX

4 жыл бұрын

I understand that a pound is currency - but does it not also have other meanings in the UK like it does in the USA, (either to beat someone, or aggressively hump them?). I mean there is literally an expression "Im going to take you down to pound town" when you are about to beat someone up. So Pound-World, and Pound-Land both just sound like illicit places to me, either for fighting or f**king, poor names, at least in the USA.

@f34r_shusty97

4 жыл бұрын

@GamerGiraffic he knows, he means that to is americans it sounds either nsfw or a fight club

"It's Cola flavoured" *Laughs in Mexican* "Cola" in spanish is Tail, we sometimes also use it for "Butt" hahaha -and also Queue, but that's irrelevant right now.

@mysteriousdisappearance

4 жыл бұрын

What an amazingly fitting username

@AlbertoDSalas

4 жыл бұрын

Confirmo lo que dice mi amigo.

@AdolfHitler-xp1nx

4 жыл бұрын

Bum flavored cola ftw

@GeneralKenobiSIYE

4 жыл бұрын

I laughed when I saw that on the package.

@localfagservices

4 жыл бұрын

Correct

"Colour and contents may vary".... So it's just like real poo then.

@IcheeCOTC

4 жыл бұрын

You forgot the word "specifications"

@renannaw

4 жыл бұрын

TheHappyKamper I got gifted one and accidentally broke it open, it’s just white sand with a bit of grey mixed in.

“Quite a prominent sad onion there” When anyone talks about me

@Maesterful

4 жыл бұрын

Don't cry toots 😢😉

@zombiehalo9588

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@bentramer682

4 жыл бұрын

Its okay, I want to dunk my soldier into you.

Just want to point out that the German translation for "pen" as shown on the pen packaging actually translates to "writing mashine".

@katie2940

4 жыл бұрын

That's incredible

@jordanhicks5131

4 жыл бұрын

Cutlery is food weapons

@JamesF0790

4 жыл бұрын

Of course it does. Never change German, never change.

@bestgrimbarianever

2 жыл бұрын

i love german's literal translations... i'll never forget the time i once translated a german phrase to english in google translate and it came back as 'i'm going to suck dust'... safe to say i was very confused, until i realised it was meaning, 'im going to hoover' :'D couldn't stop laughing!

@xminusone1

Жыл бұрын

@@bestgrimbarianever Try that in french. It will do something funny for sure. You can't use google translate for french either for german.

Wish I could hang that “Less drama, more llama” sign in my Minecraft house

@andymadden8183

4 жыл бұрын

So happy to see that's a recent comment.

@viktorvikinikfiki8607

4 жыл бұрын

We all want that Dio

@Wombattlr

3 жыл бұрын

Make a texture pack with that as one of the paintings

A few years ago my mum bought a box of baubles from poundland that said "bah humubg" on them. We still have a laugh every year when we hang them on the tree :)

@rowan4684

4 жыл бұрын

This made me laugh much harder than I expected it to. Thank you so much :')

@lowercasehandle

Жыл бұрын

BAH HOOMOOBOOG................

@favoritemustard3542

Жыл бұрын

Grinch flavored hummus lol

The ranks may be thinned, but the soldiers left are true veterans

@froderickalabaster

4 жыл бұрын

hail, brother.

@cipherthedemonlord8057

4 жыл бұрын

👍

@hexyko4850

4 жыл бұрын

Wait, what. Did I miss something?

@RetroSegaDev

4 жыл бұрын

@@hexyko4850 did I miss something?

@MrSsadab

4 жыл бұрын

What?

Bum on a stick (It's demonetization flavoured)

"Lost cat, Mittens...and then never think of it again until you throw the note away after finding it 5 years later" This whole line was oddly specific.

@tncorgi92

8 ай бұрын

I heard it as "lost cat mittens" without the comma. Poor cat's feet are getting cold.

Clearly poundland has taken the phrase "It's 2019 grandpa we eat ass now" much too literally.

I think Stuart should make either a documentary or film called "Poundlander" based around how only one pound shop survived

@frankiedysart2981

4 жыл бұрын

It's A Kind Of Tragic.

@Kazza_8240

4 жыл бұрын

There can be only one

“It’s gone rock hard over time.” So...does that make it a hardass? >_> .....I’ll let myself out.

@Angryginger2421

4 жыл бұрын

Kelly that is good though I chuckled

@maxscardanelli6185

4 жыл бұрын

That made me laugh way harder than it probably should've.

@SuPerbMusiCFan

4 жыл бұрын

Aren't you a smartass

@zhouhuanyue

4 жыл бұрын

your 100th like

"Two people in poundland" sounds like an interesting movie.

"I've lost my cat, Mittens." is a different sentence than what I heard: "I've lost my cat mittens", which could either be mittens with a cat print on them, or mittens for your cat.

@reichtangle7734

4 жыл бұрын

Or the name of the cat could be named Mittens.

@melodiadamien8901

4 жыл бұрын

@@reichtangle7734 or he could be telling his mittens that he lost his cat

@river_brook

4 жыл бұрын

or the mittens are cat

@GeorgiaGeorgette

3 жыл бұрын

Kitten mittens need to be a thing.

Didn't think I'd ever read the phrase "Vampire Llama Shrek Butt", but here we are I guess

@dicapriodelorean2888

4 жыл бұрын

Certainly got me to click on it

@hexyko4850

4 жыл бұрын

It's my new band name. 😁

@SuperhyperC

4 жыл бұрын

It sounds kinda like a title you would expect to find on one of those weird children's channels that set off all of the red flags.

@drunkrdm

4 жыл бұрын

sounds like a really cheap porno...

White goop from a unicorn... I'm pretty sure that's not "poo" ;)

@IcheeCOTC

4 жыл бұрын

Cum

@InvalidUser_

4 жыл бұрын

@@IcheeCOTC oh i thought it was titty milk.

@fritzy8318

4 жыл бұрын

teacup ichee demongod Thanks for explaining the joke you jackass

“Get out of my swamp, whilst I drive my car, brethren!” - Shrek’s most famous line

“You’re supposed to lick it and not chew it?” I feel sorry for your girlfriend

@araigumakiruno

4 жыл бұрын

oooo......k?

@mastergreyskull523

4 жыл бұрын

He has a boyfriend

@IcheeCOTC

4 жыл бұрын

Gay Stuart (Ashens)

@happybadger3351

4 жыл бұрын

Mastergrey Skull what?

@QWERTYCommander

4 жыл бұрын

@@mastergreyskull523 I mean, even if that were true the comment you replied to would still apply

glad to see Poundland still going strong, glory to the kingdom, lads.

@JackTheDeergal

4 жыл бұрын

Zoe spotted lol

@ioioioioio6026

4 жыл бұрын

@@JackTheDeergal furry spotted

Anyone else notice the end of the stretchy poo thing looked rather... phallic?

@himiranda123

4 жыл бұрын

Glide Heart yes

@jungleinsectspikewall4474

4 жыл бұрын

Glide Heart harvested in the congo

'I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me.'-The Couch

“Today I’m going be to be as useful as the n in magificent”

@digital107-_-

4 жыл бұрын

"Today I'm gonna be as useful as the s and island"

You missed an opportunity to call that Bart character Shart Sempson or something like that...

@9Tailsfan

4 жыл бұрын

Genius! 👌

@brandon3872

4 жыл бұрын

Fart Simpson would have worked perfectly 😅

@eLJaybud

4 жыл бұрын

Good humour really did miss you lot.

@nicolas_caged

4 жыл бұрын

Bort Sompsin

@katie.n6456

4 жыл бұрын

Shart Shitson

"I'm gonna have to take a bite out of this ass to see if it really is cola flavored" I did not expect that when I clicked onto this video.

@NotAGoodUsername360

4 жыл бұрын

Did you not see the thumbnail?

@admiralackbar9307

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, just give it the bum's rush!

i can only imagine ashens buying all this crap cashier: ummm any kids? ashens: no thankfully cashier: ok...uhhh- ashens: don't ask

@sirmugman

4 жыл бұрын

sadly he uses the auto ones so only the computer judges him

@sionatube

4 жыл бұрын

I'm pretty sure the whole staff of poundland knows him by now

@fallenwolf3368

3 жыл бұрын

It's not really that hard to imagine. He walks in buy some random stuff and tell the cashier that he does youtube videos.

@heartysquid

3 жыл бұрын

Ge gives the cashier the same shpeel from ashens and the polybius heist: "I am a collect of of increadably rare and useless items"

@sethrael3608

Жыл бұрын

@@sirmugman I wish I bloody had those things in the poundland nearest to me, I buy loads of random old crap or weird combinations of things, and I always wonder what they're thinking. Then it hits me, the people that work in the poundland near me are so jaded at this point, my purchases are probably fairly normal.

that white gooey stuff really in no way resembles poo... "hey kids! how would you like to play with this white goop that came out of a unicorn?!"

I actually collect those shop logo trucks. My life has hit an all-time low.

@likira111

4 жыл бұрын

thumbs up man

@CarrotConsumer

4 жыл бұрын

Hell yeah

@theshankman8682

4 жыл бұрын

i like too having a vehicle on my shelf

@tudor4996

4 жыл бұрын

They're so cool!

@crackedemerald4930

2 жыл бұрын

Keep on, you're gonna have a wall of advertisement toy trucks, I'm sure

I know it's the currency, but shrek's butt in pound land is something I never wish to imagine...

@kevinm5940

4 жыл бұрын

Username checks out

@yvastel8153

4 жыл бұрын

@@kevinm5940 Horror would be more accurate, I think.

@frankiedysart2981

4 жыл бұрын

That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.....

Get Out Of My Swamp, And Into My Carrrrr

Bort Sampson: Consume My Undergarments, Fellow.

Sentences you could not predict to hear once in our life: "I have to take a bite out of this ass, to see if it is cola flavoured."

@EdgyShooter

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a cannibal's excuse...

@Skeptycx

4 жыл бұрын

I'm gonna be that guy, it's arse not ass. Ass just means donkey to our friends over the pond. Sorry if I came across as a donkeyhole

@Virolaxion

4 жыл бұрын

*arse

Poundland. Providing the best ass lollies since 1990.

@viewer2942

4 жыл бұрын

kazan fax!

@supersaiyancommenter

4 жыл бұрын

Let’s rephrase this.

@AlexSpalex1

4 жыл бұрын

Happy soon to be 30th anniversary.

@Frank_144

4 жыл бұрын

@@supersaiyancommenter no.

@KaguyaH

4 жыл бұрын

Be thankful they're not providing loli asses.

Ah yes, good ol' Burt Samson, from the tv show, The Samson's.

Oh God, I remember when 99p store and Poundland had the 'Penny off' dunno if it was nationwide but in Torquay they legit kept going 1p cheaper than the other til it got to 90p 😂😂😂

"Cola" is Mexican Spanish slang for ass. So, I think making it cola-flavored was intentional.

@buba4267

4 жыл бұрын

Its culo not cola

@crackofdawn805

4 жыл бұрын

I’m pretty sure it was a poop joke. They’re not that clever

@aliensinthecabinet9111

4 жыл бұрын

Lol cola

@datpisidukmv2819

3 жыл бұрын

@@buba4267 Cola means tail in spanish, wich is also used for butt in some cases and it's hilarious lol

@bestgrimbarianever

2 жыл бұрын

so all my life ive been drinking ass? great!

The Shrek car is a must have gift for any modern child 😃

That "farting fire Shrek" looks like a sprite from a game on Game Boy - Shrek: Fairy Tale Freakdown.

"I'm Doctor Cheeks. I'm doing my rounds, and I'm a little behind."

Poundland: casually sells items for a quid Other pound shops: start selling items for a quid Poundland (as a blood-sucking, wooly ogre): *WHAT are you doing IN MY SWAMP?!!*

@kaaiuta

4 жыл бұрын

Poundworld was actually founded 20 years earlier. PoundLAND however seemed to attract more attention.

@ericpode6095

4 жыл бұрын

Oxford Street in London had Mr Pound (catchphrase "Have a look round, it's Mr Pound"). Now that was REAL tat!

@TechBaffle

4 жыл бұрын

@@kaaiuta That makes sense! The one near me was quite recent. Was a nicer shop itself

@TechBaffle

4 жыл бұрын

@@ericpode6095 We used to have 'Value World' that evolved into a 99p store, and now another Poundland. That shop will always be some sort of tat establishment!

@countzero1136

4 жыл бұрын

@@kaaiuta The thing about Poundland though is that the stuff they sell is of a better quality than what the others were selling. In particular their technology products. Poundworld was subject to a number of recalls of dangerous items such as usb power banks and phone chargers, whereas the equivalent products from Poundland are actually very decent quality (Just ask Big Clive)

Evening Ashens? Definitely, even if you have been reduced to just the one shop.

Recently I went to a local dollar store and saw an announcement saying "the product UNICORN POOP has been deemed unsafe and will no longer be sold"

Oh my god, that lollipop is genius, the world “cola” means ass in Spanish, so it’s “ass flavor” as well!

@Windsguidance

4 жыл бұрын

Suddenly it isn't that weird of a concept to me anymore. Still weird, but makes a lot more sense

@bt6g718

4 жыл бұрын

thought it was culo

@gorgeluis

4 жыл бұрын

@@bt6g718 Cola is more tame, it can mean butt, bum, tail, derriere, whatever lol, culo is seen as a bad word at least in México, it's used as an insult (like you are an asshole but it means coward) or a vulgar way to say butt

@Malandrin

4 жыл бұрын

@@gorgeluis in spain we do not say cola but culo, the word cola is used in latin america only

"Kids, if you're at the zoo Don't go and find some llama poo." - Stuart Ashens, 2019

@Wileybot2004

4 жыл бұрын

"Jeff have you been turning the llamas into genetic abominations" -The zoo

@himiranda123

4 жыл бұрын

lmao he said this exactly while i was reading this comment

“Eat glitter for breakfast so you don’t have to buy this unicorn poo for a pound “

@danw7008

4 жыл бұрын

Best idea ever 🤗😂

Ashens calls the Shrek car plastic even though on the front of the packaging in big letters it says it's metal.

@BandEater

4 жыл бұрын

rekt

I'm getting a mod for Euro Truck Sim 2 that lets me drive a Poundland branded truck.

@SquishyZoran

4 жыл бұрын

Are you going to haul holy hand grenades?

@Kazza_8240

4 жыл бұрын

Someone's got to tell Limmy about this

"I'm going to put that over to one side very carefully so it doesn't leak all over the sofa." *carelessly lobs the Llama Poo*

I'm sorry. "make your own poo kits are doing the rounds." isn't that just a sandwich or somthing. Hahaha

@rzeka

4 жыл бұрын

Literally any food lol

@BandEater

4 жыл бұрын

Very true

@nuck-

4 жыл бұрын

Clever girl

@smb-c3po

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe it'll lead us to cursed Aztec gold.

@kingjames4886

4 жыл бұрын

ikr? all the grocery stores are just full of them these days. >.>

I died when he said it's been a long time coming for Shrek...Shrek my man it's time to die

@Maesterful

4 жыл бұрын

Nice hair

@EuroRhodes

4 жыл бұрын

@@Maesterful The thirst is real.

@pUnkaSSBabbyboyy

4 жыл бұрын

Maesterful creep

@Maesterful

4 жыл бұрын

@@pUnkaSSBabbyboyy Prat

@BandEater

4 жыл бұрын

@@Maesterful thanks!

"Specifications, colours and contents may vary" just like with real poo!

When I was a kid I had a Safeway truck and I was quite fond of it for some reason.

@MultiNonymous

4 жыл бұрын

It was a Fujifilm blimp for me.

Poundland: Proud sponsor of Ashens' trash can.

A unicorn with wings is called an alicorn.

"I think we should end on something I think is truly wonderful" but we're already watching you, Stuart.

I’ve seen my fair share of llama poop on my life, and it most certainly does not look like that. They poop pellets, if you were curious

@danielmarsden4573

4 жыл бұрын

Stormy Bunny I don’t think it’s POO at all...

@5roundsrapid263

4 жыл бұрын

Rabbits make pellets, too. Their digestion is so bad, they eat it again...🤮

"I'll put it right over the windscreen, so he'll crash and die" this is comedic genius

Poundland trying to singlehandedly start a scat fetish revolution!

My mother had gotten some antique glitter from her great-grandmother that was nothing but glass shavings. Make of that what you will.

@zacmumblethunder7466

4 жыл бұрын

"Eeh, we didn't bother with health and safety in them days. If you swallowed some glitter and died an agonising death, it taught you to think on, and be more careful next time"

@childeater7327

4 жыл бұрын

Sounds tasty

Cola beside being a flavor its an euphemism for butt in almost all speaking Spanish speaking cultures

@5roundsrapid263

4 жыл бұрын

I was just going to say that! It’s from the same Latin word as “cul” in French.

@Ignacio.Romero

4 жыл бұрын

@@5roundsrapid263 that's more like culo

@5roundsrapid263

4 жыл бұрын

Ignacio Romero Yes, the masculine noun.

"I'm going to have to take a bite out of this arse to see if it really is cola flavored." Ashens, 2019

Had a 5 month expired Diet Coke today, would’ve thought it was a la croix if I didn’t see the coke logo. Faint hint of carbonation and no actual flavor

Love how they just give shrek a random ass cheap hotwheels instead of the carriages they actually ride in the film Why would he need his own car in a swamp?

Bart Sempson. He's an original character like Ricky Rouse or Monald Muck.

@mnky75

4 жыл бұрын

Or indeed his Cousin with Tourettes.......Ronald F**k!!

@KirbyMario12345_939

4 жыл бұрын

Bags Banny and Doffy Dock are also some good characters, along with Parky Pag, Olmer, the Tuzmonian Angel, Yellowstone Pam, Twooty, Sole-vester and Spadey. Personally though, I like Jack E. Jackal and the Raidrunner.

@spaceinaspace8452

4 жыл бұрын

Cherry Bobbins

Is that a genuine Dreamworks product that Shrek car?! Hahahaha Holy crap. Crying.

_Shrek!_ _Shrek, I tell you!_ That and the explosive diarrhea sticker caused a degenerative laughter cascade and I was unable to continue.

'its other characters from kun fu panda' man, that fourth kung fu panda movie where he fights aliens really jumped the shark

You're supposed to just kiss the bum. It says so on the package!

"Gee Stuart, what are we going to do today?" 5:06

“Throw it away when you find it five years later” wait, the cat or the piece of paper with mittens on it?

@Guru_1092

4 жыл бұрын

Yes.

That is the nicest stretchy poo I’ve ever seen. They’re usually destroyed😂

Stuart Ashen - keeping pound stores in business since time began

@liamguy2820

4 жыл бұрын

Him and @bigclivedotcom

Two People in Poundland can be taken very differently Ashen be very careful.

@ge2719

4 жыл бұрын

That's pound town

I don't know why, but the way you said 'Shrek shitting his guts out' had me in stitches!

Disappointed. Never had a “Vampire llama Shrek butt”

Words I didn't expect Ashens to say. It's a cola flavoured bum.

I love how, since 2006, you still make videos on the couch lol. 13 years, and I still watch these lovely videos.

I think the "specifications, contents and colour may vary" is about poo in general lol

That Bum lolly lol. Having flashback to when I was probed by the greys.

A Shrek car, or shar. Also the one car you couldn't place is the alien from home

Hey ashens, I have been watching you for years. Keep doing what you are doing because they are really fun to watch

It's been so long, I missed these. I visited a poundland in Elephant and Whitecastle like a tourist destination last year because of these

Looking at the bottom end of that poo, I think it's a dual-use product design.

@LeeDee5

4 жыл бұрын

Pete Brown that was probably the initial product but then someone said “turn it around, stick some eyes on it and call it a poo instead”.

@YokiDokiPanic

4 жыл бұрын

This made me sad...

We are building a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our spirits in the tradition of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.

I love how you talk about the safety lion like he's an influenser

@TheSmart-CasualGamer

4 жыл бұрын

Is that last word meant to be influenza or influencer?

Does anyone else love the way Ashens says "bum"?

>DIE CAST CAR >"Yep, it's made of plastic" Never change, Stuart.

Poundland won the Pound Store Wars, and then put their prices up...

@VineFynn

4 жыл бұрын

Probably because they were losing money

@countzero1136

4 жыл бұрын

But at least their quality is consistent, unlike Ikea who hiked their prices by over 50% in some cases but whose quality has gone right down the toilet

4:00 that’s a great translation. Every German calls a pen “Schreibgerät”... yup

@elllieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

4 жыл бұрын

For English speakers, it translates to "writing device" which is indeed a *great* translation of "pen"

I work in Smyths (for those that know, Smyths is a major toy store in the UK & Ireland) and anything poo related is very popular. One time I nearly got my eye taken out by a kid that launched the stretchy poo across the store. Oh, and not only is there unicorn and llama poo, but theres also the flamingo and dinosaur variety! How lovely! I hate to admit how many I sell on the daily basis but its absurd, almost as absurd as the whole concept of poo toys.

B&M Bargains and The Works also have a lot of Poundland-worthy tat

@countzero1136

4 жыл бұрын

The Works in particular has a MASSIVE range of poo and unicorn related tat. I can remember the time when they were a proper bookshop

@fizzpeakgamer1318

4 жыл бұрын

@@countzero1136 they still are but the book section has been reduced

"Kids love playing with crap these days" Well they do play Fortnite, so you are not wrong.

@utubeb14

4 жыл бұрын

Huehuehue

@gurthygus39

4 жыл бұрын

thatrandomperson bruh do you know what year it is?

When reading video titles I sometimes worry I’m having a stroke, but then I realize it’s an Ashens upload and the word salad seems completely normal.

Stewart, you are doing the world a favour by bringing to light the horrors of the tat store lifestyle. I raise my drink to you.

Ashens video? Bum on a stick in the thumbnail? I'm in.