"The man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one" is some raw shit. A few months ago I forgot who said that and I was like "must be a president or some famous classic author" nope!!! Just Justin McElroy, throwing around wisdom spaghetti like it's free

@sapphic_sophie

2 жыл бұрын

I genuinely always thought he was quoting someone else, you just blew my mind with this revelation. I can’t believe he coined it! I’ve definitely heard people who have never heard of the show say it / similar permutations

wisdom spaghetti doomsday--i'm ready i'm a weird guy that bangs a machete

I feel like Joan of Arc sent this question in

@damienvalentine5043

5 жыл бұрын

"Is it wrong that I sleep with a falchion? I sleep with a falchion every night, in case I wake up in the morning and am forced to lead a rebellion against the Goddams."

The world is a lot brighter when you wear a smile for a flashlight -30 under 30 media luminery, Nasty Man

This is one of my favorite episodes. Justin is sick and out of his gourd and it's comedy gold.

@Eequality72521

2 жыл бұрын

With the prompt of reading your comment, I'm now listening to the episode and holy shit you're so right

Just listened to this episode last week. Justin is out of his mind in it. It’s amazing.

I imagined this was a girl who was sleeping with the machete

@coyote-bird1801

6 жыл бұрын

Logan Plourde I did as well

@quentinlooper2371

5 жыл бұрын

Same??!!!

@fern5505

3 жыл бұрын

I did at the start and then they kept reading and i was like nope this is an ROTC guy

"Is it wrong that i sleep with a machete?" -wh... why-

Damn it, Griffin was so close! The world's a lot brighter When you've got a machete and two lighters.

I was listening to this as background noise and I swear to god I randomly tuned back in and thought I was having a stroke when they started making up proverbs

I slept with fake nun chucks as a child. I even took them on sleepovers and trips. Hide em under my pillow. In case one o dem freaky demon man eating dog octopuses trys to pull something. Camping trips too.

@nadiahill2399

6 жыл бұрын

smol trash can im very tired and thought nun chucks meant a group of 40 year old men named Chuck who are also nuns and sleep in your bed

Magnus Burnsides wrote this Yahoo

@chrislaf

4 жыл бұрын

Railsplitter!!

Justin is the same guy who said: “We are, all of us, made of stardust and gunk” While debating the ramifications of bathing in soup

@thekatzcorner

9 ай бұрын

He's a poet and we all know it

Good Room reference, boyos.

Funnily enough this proverb of Justin’s has actually come up a lot in how I handle my anxiety

"The world is alittle bit brighter when you wear a flashlight for a smile"

@transrights7273

6 жыл бұрын

Normal Man Get that crocheted on something

@Dylan_Platt

4 жыл бұрын

The world is a little brighter when you have a machete and two lighters

2:08 i heard that "living in a van down by the river" reference lmao

quetzalcoatl is late for fucking everything

This bit hits differently today

@HitPointsLovecraft447

2 жыл бұрын

this kid was definitely in the Capital Coup

The man who sleeps with a machete, accidently kills their family members who try to wake them up. This is why your mom is afraid. XDD

Just to mention, the yahoo answers person story sounds eeriely like that of Bo Burgdal by which the yahoo answer sounds like it it was written by someone who is on the schizoaffective spectrum. I get that it was probably written for effect, but in the off chance that it wasn’t.

5:15 Justin saying “I think we have a pretty long way to fall” before the apocalypse and “I think I’ll see it coming” hits DIFFERENT today. Like…bruh…nobody saw this coming.

@mickyjomyers7880

2 жыл бұрын

I came here to say this. Like actually J-man, when the fine dining becomes inaccessible plummet is pretty steep.

The wisdom spaghetti of the machete!

Also the crumb scraper is the *last* thing to go

This hits different in 2020 lol

This is what's so funny about non-gun owners to me "When given the choice between defending my home and life with a tool that ends the situation rapidly, with minimal blood/bodily damage, and with far lower odds of myself leaving the altercation wounded, or the tool that requires me to force the life out of a fellow human slowly, hit by agonizing hit, no doubt making a colossal and visceral mess that is bound to traumatize myself and my family while prolonging the suffering of the home invader, I'll take the second option"

Weird? Yes. Creepy? Yes. Dangerous? Definitely. Crazy? Absolutely. But wrong? Maybe not _technically_ so.

Up

0:52 But then, how do you have loved ones if you don't start a family? I've seen zombie movies. I know that there is enough attrition of cast that you run out of family. If you don't start news ones, then you can't continue your insane protection fantasy. Just think about the death wish movies- the guy kept on getting friends and family so he can murder everyone when that family dies.

why would you have sex with a machete?

My boyfriend has one under the bed...just in case

I...Is this where that dumbass machete phrase came from...?

@clanofclams2720

Жыл бұрын

dumbass?