My daughter's creative writing class watched this. She came home and said, "Woe! Woman who hath birthed me, tis I, thy favorite advanced student entering upon the threshold of thy humble abode! I pray thee that thine will let me screen a video upon computer monitor from an internet website that will make you guffaw with great joy at the sight of it!" When I watched the video, I was very confused, then I realized that my daughter had a way better vocabulary then I did, and now I know where she got it. Thank you comedians!

@ScreamCheese69

10 жыл бұрын

Yes, I am very articulate.

@CatWithBagOnHead

6 жыл бұрын

thou art in possession of high wit and whither. Yonder.

@lizw6301

5 жыл бұрын

Is it pretentious of me to point out that “thine” should rather be “thou”? 😉

@alexkrauth5779

4 жыл бұрын

@@lizw6301 I, too, was tempted to say thus.

@richardlloyd2589

3 жыл бұрын

Liz W “Pretentious of ONE” maybe...

He had me at: "In times past though not long ago, there lived pigs--in stature, little; in number, three-- who being of an age, both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune, did set about to do thusly."

I did this for a Talent Show at school.....and nobody understood it but the English teachers. I still won the grand prize.

@xcoolsarah5418

6 жыл бұрын

Cameron Priest I wanna see that

@alisontibbens2155

2 жыл бұрын

Very like unto a boss art thou, truly.

@raymondgarafano8604

Жыл бұрын

Glad 4 ya, Olde English is KOOL been reading Hamlet as of late and various bits of Shakespeare, Branyan is a bloody riot!

@Daniel-po8eb

6 ай бұрын

@@alisontibbens2155 Touche'

@lindalou6105

4 ай бұрын

Sad

As pig three puffed out his chest and tapped it with a hoof, he replied: "It's American made." I almost died laughing.

@rebeccagrimm6316

8 жыл бұрын

+Amanda Lyons I did die laughing.

@4thecross

7 жыл бұрын

I died 3 times that day... it was bad

@badassmother1426

4 ай бұрын

Hecho en America por Mexicano.

My good sir, thou hast my sincerest thanks, for I doth, with audacious vigor, must simply declare, without guile or fraud, that this amusing spectacle so sent by your hand, hath fallen upon my eyes and ears to no small delight, and shall indubitably tickle my fancy for at least a fortnight.

@mage3690

5 жыл бұрын

"Indubitably." Reminds me this of particular video, wherein the Three Stooges were forcing confession, as Officers of the Peace are wont to do, when the Suspect when prompted with this question; "Did you do it?" responded "Indubitably!" Whereupon the Leader of these Characters three did riposte with this one sentence: "Oh, you're holding out on us, eh?" Prior to this moment, that word had never passed mine ears, nor been sighted by mine eyes; and, as such is often the case in times of heightened emotional excitement, a memory was made, that will thenceforth remain in the inner recesses of the mind, to be called forth with the utterance of this one word: indubitably.

@Gen-ZChristian

3 жыл бұрын

I doth concur.

@rayshackelford7447

3 жыл бұрын

Yep

Now that is how you use a thesaurus

@kathyweber2662

8 жыл бұрын

5

@Moviefan2k4

7 жыл бұрын

"I wrote in, they wrote back - Dinosaurs are dead." ~Brad Stine~

@Twisted_Code

4 жыл бұрын

@@Moviefan2k4 "What? no I'm kidding, he couldn't read"

@sydneymitrecic

3 жыл бұрын

😂

Causing Pig Two to cry out in dismay, "Well, this knots my knickers!" HILARIOUS!!!

This is beyond funny. Tears of laughter describes my reaction. I really appreciate comedy that does not have to resort to shock value or endless profanity laced with sexual innuendo. Great Job, John Branyan, brilliant to say the least!!!

@starrmoon-goddess3925

6 жыл бұрын

Ralph Raabe same here

@markcockerham646

6 жыл бұрын

What did you say about my mama?

@alisontibbens2155

2 жыл бұрын

I'm addicted to this routine. He's awesome.

I'm in college now, and i've had to show this to every english teacher since 9th grade

how he kept himself from becomin' tongue-tied is IMPRESSIVE!!!!!!!!!

"...splattered second swine shack and shortened his sanctimonious scolding simultaneously!"

@carolynanderson3801

5 жыл бұрын

alliteration at its best

@skyetandy7788

3 жыл бұрын

Shakespeare would have been so proud.

How on earth can one remember such exquisite vocabulary.

@Moviefan2k4

7 жыл бұрын

They use their brains more actively, instead of becoming addicted to computerized phones or tablets.

@sadlobster1

2 жыл бұрын

You would need to be familiar with Olde English

In time past, though not long ago, there lived pigs, in stature, little, in number, three, who, being of an age both entitled and inspired to seek their fortune did set about to do thusly: When they had traveled a distance, pig numbered first spake saying, “Harken Brethren, heed this tempestuous realm! Tarry we long from hearth and home, we shall fair, I fear, *snort* not well!” And so being collectively agreed, but individually impelled, the diminutive swine set about each to erect for himself an abode. Pig numbered one did construct his house from straw. Pig numbered two did likewise, though rather not from straw but instead from sticks. Meanwhile, unique in his imaginings, pig numbered three did erectus his domicile stalwart and garish a structure made from brick entirely. Soon there happened along, as is frequently the scenario in classic tale of protagonist pig or red hooded child - a wolf. Carnivorous nature in full season, he called out to the straw staunched swine saying, “Pray thee, little pig, grant me entrance.” But pig one recalled with sage foreboding that he is mad who trusts in the tameness of a belly pinched wolf and responded immediately, “Nay it shall NOT be indeed! Not by wit or whiskered jowl!” Prepared for this most expected response, the wolf replied immediately, “Then steal thyself, little pig! Forthwith shall I endeavor by employing means both huffing and puffing to dismantle yon flaxen fortress!” Where upon there issued forth from the wolf an exhale of gale proportions that quickly rendered straw hovel to dregs and dross and carried aloft piglet and shattered quarters both. Exposed now to claw and fang, piglet one made haste, wolf in pursuit, to the stick festooned sanctum of peccary secondary. Causing pig two to cry out in dismay, “Well, this knots my knickers! The marshaling of feral wolf to my doorstep is nowhere among those endeavors amenable nor congenial!” “A thousand pardons!” Squealed one. ”T’would seem the beast’s baneful breath has purged me of home and sound judgment alike!” The mighty maelstrom of the wolf’s exhale…splattered second swine’s shack and shortened his sanctimonious scolding simultaneously. “Low and behold!” Squealed two, “stand we now amid wooded wreckage, tremulous and vulnerable with nary a strategy for eschewing the canine devourer looming in deadly proximity!” “Strategy?” Squealed one, “While ‘tis noble to contemplate tactical particularities, pressed as we are with the time restraint forbidding detailed strategical conversations, I would URGE WE RUN!” Wee! Wee! Wee! Wee! Whether by their own fleet footed competence or the wolf’s windless attitude, the diminutive swine arrived at their ultimate kindred neighbor’s inexpugnable brick ingress unscathed. Upon the third pig’s door with urgent hooves they pounded calling out, “Unbar this entrance and with haste, we beseech thee!” The third pig haled from the American colonies, And possessing a vocabulary substantially less robust than his impromptu visitors replied, “Say what?” “Seek we sanctuary!” They implore on the verge of hysteria, “Lest we fall forthwith to the ravenous appetency of yonder approaching carnivore!” Still confounded by their importunate words, Pig three did render ajar his portal whereupon one and two spilled through and collapse beyond the threshold, enervated. “So y’all just wanted to come in? You could’a said that.” The sinister hiss of the wolf could once again be heard outside, “Pray thee pigs, grant me entrance!” “The wolf!” said one and two. “Wolf?” said three, “What’chya suppose he wants?” “He seeks to gain purchase within, indeed he would occupy this very alcove were he but afforded the most meager of opportunities!” “Right…I’m just gonna go ask him what he wants.” “Under no circumstances!” Squealed two flinging self bodily against the portal, “there is naught to be gained accosting external opponent save our immediate demise!” “What did you say about my momma?” House and occupants were again engulfed in a malevolent blast of wolfish wind. The foundation shook, the frame rattled, and low, to the astonished eyes of piglet and encroaching scoundrel alike, stood the third pig’s lodging undaunted. (Good news for you, pig fans.) Aghast and dismayed, pig two quarried of three, “How does, against such relentless and torrential onslaught, this domicile endure?” Pig three, puffed out chest, tapped a hoof to the hearth and responded, “It’s American made.”

@JulieShelton42author

3 жыл бұрын

Some spelling and word changes. "hearken, brethren" "We shall fare" "erect as his" "straw-ensconced swine" "then steel thyself" "lo and behold" "hailed from" "And lo, to the" "pig two queried"

@skyetandy7788

3 жыл бұрын

@Sugar&Spice It is in book form. A fellow teacher got it for me as a gift about 3 years ago.

@resolutelane2175

3 жыл бұрын

Save our *own* immediate demise Other then that its perfect bravo

@hellybelle5

2 жыл бұрын

I was going to look up the text, but found he had it as a book 🥰

I am a 60 year old Mom who home schooled all three of my kids; and they all read Shakespear. All I can say to you, kind sir, is that You Nailed It!!!! Great Job!!!

I keep watching this over and over and over...

@KeithCooper-Albuquerque

8 жыл бұрын

+Andrea Davis Me too!

@ambernectar3158

7 жыл бұрын

Andrea Davis me too. I love it.

@dainty.tricia

7 жыл бұрын

Andrea Davis we played it in social class before I graduated and I actually got to see this live once! It was brilliant

@secretsquirrel7300

Ай бұрын

Never gets old.

I'm still waiting for Shakespearean version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Red Riding Hood, and Jack and the Bean Stalk.

@amandamckinney928

8 жыл бұрын

+Chris Herring Great minds think alike, Chris! John published a book version of the Three Pigs. And then he followed it up with his version of Goldilocks that he illustrated himself... You can check them out here: kzread.info/dash/bejne/gayjt7ebfczPZ7Q.html

@jennycothern6375

6 жыл бұрын

Amanda McKinney I can't get the link to work

@hellybelle5

2 жыл бұрын

If he does them I'd buy them all 😄❤️ We bought this one and my children love it 😄❤️

@hellybelle5

2 жыл бұрын

@@amandamckinney928 I can't get the link to work, but thanks for sharing this, as now I can look it up ❤️

@alisontibbens2155

2 жыл бұрын

@@amandamckinney928 Oh, wow.

Most beautiful version of this story, I have yet to hear. As well, HELL YEA! AMERICAN MADE BABY

This is not Elizabethan English but a clever parody of it. Bravo!

I will soon be an uncle. The child will hear this story... often.

@kerriskb19

5 жыл бұрын

Did you buy said child the book? My niece and nephew love it :)

I've watched this a hundred times and still love it!

Oh please rewrite and create a colection of all fairy tales, please.

Does it make me a nerd if I understood him perfectly?

@dainty.tricia

7 жыл бұрын

Liam Silva it would make me a nerd too

@daivdninjabiomech7888

7 жыл бұрын

That makes my mostly a nerd (I understood most of what he said.

@932ForeverLove

7 жыл бұрын

nope. Not at all. I understood it perfectly as well

@davesmith6815

6 жыл бұрын

I understood it but I wouldn't have told anyone I do. Not sure why!

@Jnwboss

6 жыл бұрын

Half of it at best for me though the only reason I understood even that was because I know the 3 little pigs story

How long do you think it took him to practice that.

@LordVenom30

6 жыл бұрын

conner baldwin about as long as it took me to reply to this comment from when you first posted it

@ag7dragonfly

6 жыл бұрын

LOL

The moral of the story is, make sure your house is American made

@rebeccaatkinson1927

6 жыл бұрын

OMG

Would love it if you create a whole album of nothing but nursery rhymes like this. Hilarious! Also would love to see the effect of someone who actually speaks Queens English to someone who claims they only read the King James Version. It would be a great social experiment.

@rebeccaatkinson1927

6 жыл бұрын

I AGREE WITH YOU AND WE HAVE THE,SAME FIRST NAME HILARIOUS LOL

I use this and his book in my High school English class to teach teach Shakespeare. it introduces the language in a form the kids can grasp...

my language arts teacher went to school with this guy

As a hardcore story junky and lover of fairy tales and nursery rhymes and Shakespeare in pure form, I say this is by far the best version of the three little pigs that I have ever heard. John Branyan--you are brilliant! and your lexicon is greatly expanded and I thoroughly have enjoyed this bit!!! Thank you thank you! Hilarious.

"NOT BY WIT OR WHISKERED JOWL!" This guy is so awesome.

Is it just me, or is Piglet #3 actually Ron White in disguise?

@ethanhansen1479

7 жыл бұрын

Yes

@robertmulligan2851

7 жыл бұрын

Good call.

I'm an English teacher and I'm totally going to show this in class :D

I love it when comedians crack themselves up!

Excellent .175 people wonder if it comes on DVD .

It is a brilliant comedy routine. John has published it as a delightfully illustrated booklet you can order from him.

First saw this in Grade 10 English class. Still brilliantly humorous to this day.

@JuJuBelics

10 жыл бұрын

Yeah me too. I couldnt help but search it.

@medium393

Жыл бұрын

Grade 7th drama.

[giggling] Lovely job. ^_^ I actually grew up reading classics-my mother thought they were necessarily appropriate for children to read, so I'd get handed Ernest Hemingway while being forbidden to read Goosebumps. My stepfather and brother and others would mimic archaic style and verbiage but completely mess it up-they mangle syntax or word usage or something. Branyan obviously had a clue and was using it on purpose. Not the easiest to do. Kudos to him for that. :)

My class watched the and counted the different ways of saying house. We got 12/13 without the double ups

Have to view this ever six months or so for a superlative giggle :D

I remember him performing this bit at a church in Virginia and the silence was deafening

This is hilarious! I would love to have a whole book of stories written in this style--love it.

what'd you say about my momma? lol

hi. I love this. I wish you would do the rest of the fairtales like this. As historians and linguists I and my friends would love more of these.

@benscoles5085

Жыл бұрын

as a man who just loves humor, I would love this,

One of the best comedic bits ever created. Epic and gets me every time, God bless.

Still watch this. It cheers me up so much on a bad day; and is a delight on a good one.

The best presentation of John Branyan's "Shakespearian Telling of the Three Little Pigs". He has done this comedy for many years and a number videos of it are on You Tube. This one, in my opinion, is the best....

AWESOME! Now, do Goldilocks and the Three Bears

He does such a brilliant job of vocalizing each character.

I don't care if it's not "Old English", this is wonderful and I love it! (BTW: keep up the Poddy Time podcasts, Tim!!!)

By far one of my favorite videos of his!

One of the funniest things I have watched in quite a while. This made my morning!

Amazing. Tho I was compelled to adjust the delivery to a slower pace, I must declare that if Shakespeare had been introduced in this fashion to me as a child I would probably have become a professional historical languages wordsmith.

I love vocabulary, and I love how John kept laughing as he thought ahead on what ridiculous things he was about to say. :P

i've seen this several times, and it's always achingly funny. Not just the language, but the delivery. He's a marvel.

I've seen this a hundred times and it makes me laugh every single time.

It was after midnight in a motel room with some other girls from science club when one of them looked this up on my computer. We had just checked in, and were supposed to get up early to get to my state's Science Olympiad to compete. Obviously, we were exhausted, but also wired. So we decided to watch/share a couple of our favorite KZread videos before going to sleep. In those days, kids would know KZread, but no one bothered to get an account because it wasn't worth it. We just remembered some cool stuff and shared it with friends if it came up. So probably 10 years ago. Naturally, we had to watch it a couple times to get all the giggles out before we actually went to bed. But the bedtime story did the trick. We were up on time and ready to go before the chaperones and the boys. 10/10 will always recommend, even 10 years later.👍

I've listened to this more times than I can count and I laugh every time. Good stuff!

LOVE this! Never fails to make me laugh until my sides hurt!

Thine Love for ye old classics and the good hearted nature of thine old English language maketh me love thy study of linguistics be thus RENEWED!

this is the 2nd time I've listened to it.

What joy doth this bring to mine ears! Truly, an encouragement to increase the size and facility of our vocabulary.

That was the absolute best version I ever saw/heard!!!

Never gets old, love it!

Every time I listen to this routine, I always wonder how many hours it took him to get it perfect. It's a classic!

I loved this - fabulously creative and inspired! Thank you John! I have just sent this link to all my friends in the UK.

Wow this was awesome! And hysterical as a fan and amateur student of linguistics.

I have seen and heard several tellings of the story. This is one of my favorites.

You are to be commended. This was fantastic. I may have peed myself a little.

I say old chap. thwas extraordinarily well executed. Bravo.

This was... hilarious! My English teacher showed us this today, and I was laughing so much, that I fell out of my seat and laughed under my desk for a few seconds. She thought I was dying.

Saw this bit live yesterday. Funniest segment of the whole show! Well done.

That is absolutely awesome!

It’s been AGES since I’ve watched this video but I’m so glad I randomly remembered it today

Sir I applaud you. This piece now stands in my estimation paramount among its rivals in comedic performance. *claps*

Still one of the best videos ever.

That was the greatest story EVER!!! Definitely buying the book! VERY creative, it was AWESOME!!!

This is so fantastic

One of the most hilarious things I've ever heard. John Branyan must have done this hundreds of times. You can in later versions that the performance is more polished.

That was the most awesome thing I have seen in 2011. Thank you!

That was amazing XD. I couldn't remember the first 3 lines let alone the whole story XD.

Exhale of strong proportions!! Love it!!

Best version ever!

love love love it! Shared! too funny!

We watched this in my english class and it's still funny to this day 😂😂

Terrific, thank you. I'm still laughing !

OMG!!! Tooooo Funny!!! Love it!!! Great Job, Mr. Branyan!

Hilariously awesome! Great job!

I love this!

Wonderful talent love this!❤

I could listen to this everyday !

This was HILARIOUS!

he needs to make this into a book. I would buy it

OMGSH LOOOOVE THIS!!! I love his facial expressions and how serious he is and then he turns around and does a 180 on us when it comes to pig 3 haha

Love it!

So great!

Nothing short of brilliant!

This brings forth melodious laughter from my proginy and myself. I cried out but not in dismay! Come up to the great white north and let us pay homage to your craft by attending a concert here.

What a great act man.

We just saw John Branyan tonight for the first time. He appeared with Tim Hawkins in Carmel, Indiana. We LOVE Tim Hawkins! John is hysterical as well! One of the highlights of the evening was John's telling of the 3 Little Pigs in Shakespeare-like vocabulary. We laughed so hard we thought we'd pee ourselves!

Absolutely fantastically funny!

This is my uncle 😂. It's kinda cool to have an uncle who's semi-famous.

@westcoastmorgans9109

4 жыл бұрын

I am certain you have boisterous family gatherings - cheers to you all!