You forgot the best teeth joke! "Rob started brushing his teeth 9 years ago and good news: He's almost done!"

@danielredmond6101

6 жыл бұрын

Or "Rob's really looking forward to getting his teeth into Countdown, which means there won't be much of it left!". Although my favourite was the ivory poacher joke :L

@azzaman171

5 жыл бұрын

Gotta keep Britain's solar grid clean!

@kishenparekh9416

4 жыл бұрын

@@danielredmond6101 my favourite one is "Rob worried he might have bitten off more than he can chew. Dont worry Rob, theres nothing you couldnt chew" 😂😂

@aero_blop586

4 жыл бұрын

That was so shit

@flakmoppen

4 жыл бұрын

@@aero_blop586 He'll get better. They can't all be as good as your jokes. But give it time and Jimmy might actually make a career out of it.

I never get tired of Jimmy's opening insults.

@fzoid3534

6 жыл бұрын

I could watch this for hours.

@johnmelrose3774

6 жыл бұрын

Jimmy is so good it's unreal

@Pow3llMorgan

6 жыл бұрын

Nor of the witty comebacks. "...but you can't trust those sites, because they also say you're a comedian" _and_ especially when they mention something tax related :D

@zawadzarif2526

6 жыл бұрын

Tristan Johnson qq

@kishenparekh9416

4 жыл бұрын

Its honestly the best part of the show

"that's what he said when the police walked in" that was actually very funny lmao

@captain-Dan

6 жыл бұрын

2:48 for anybody wanting to watch it back ;P

@Myvoetisseer

6 жыл бұрын

And so fucking quick! How are they so fucking quick!

@dutchdrifter8740

6 жыл бұрын

Hugo Joubert my thoughts exactly

@Malpheron

6 жыл бұрын

Sometimes it's editing, sometimes they are just quick. It's their job.

@Simbosan

6 жыл бұрын

Part of the comedian's magic is that they appear to be spontaneous, but almost all these jokes have been worked on over many years. They are full time professionals and they build an arsenal of comebacks

Sean: "You have to get 40 points on Countdown or you can't live here". Jimmy: "Where will you move Sean?".

@MilA-eh3gf

4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha so quick-witted I can't stop laughing

These Carol Vorderman jokes had me in tears, especially seeing Rachel Riley trying not to laugh.

@krishnajain4391

Жыл бұрын

Silverback asking for too much was great, but shot and melted down for glue really got me.

Give whoever wrote the ivory poachers line a raise!

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

It was probably Jimmy himself tbh, he's one hell of a natural comedian.

@Theorimlig

6 жыл бұрын

Possible, but not usually how jokes in panel shows work.

@Baiko

6 жыл бұрын

Well, it's not like he writes all of his stand up himself either.

@teddypattinson5772

6 жыл бұрын

Whoever wrote that line deserves a tax cut...

@timetoduel3343

6 жыл бұрын

i see what u did there

"Jimmy Has So Many Insults For Rob Beckett's Teeth!" Well about 4 according to the video

Rob Beckett's reaction to the Carol Vorderman jokes makes so much funnier! 😂

The best one that wasn't on this about robs teeth was "Rob can't wait to sink his teeth into countdown, meaning there won't be much of it left"

@xmonkey3330

6 жыл бұрын

CRAPGAMER123 That was on the part 1 clip of Jimmy's insults i think

@mutalemalama

6 жыл бұрын

Scraggles Gaming link to that please?

@AutomaticDuck300

6 жыл бұрын

They cut out the response to "when the tooth fairy came, what did you do with the money? buy a car?" and Rob said "I got quite a bit of money actually. I lent it to you so you could buy yours."

The brothel joke from 3:00 is fantastic, everyone chips in to build on it until Jimmy delivers the final putdown on Jon.

Whenever Jimmy makes jokes about Carol Vorderman being mad/old/pissed Rachel manages to strike an almost perfect balance between looking disapproving and laughing out loud. I do feel sorry for Vorderman though. Poor mad, old, pissed Carol.

@ashleighburns9688

5 жыл бұрын

i want her to go on as a guest lol

@erictheviking6773

5 жыл бұрын

The Sprawl the carol vordeman jokes are my favourite

@CeartGoLeor86

5 жыл бұрын

Good thing you were able to bring a ouch of class elegance to the comments.

@thesprawl2361

5 жыл бұрын

Ad Max - The phrase "sexual rummaging" made me laugh. Very enigmatic phrase. I mean, I do it all the time when I'm alone, but does Riley do it on the show? Not that I've noticed, and I've been looking.

@thesprawl2361

5 жыл бұрын

...and she's a Tory? I didn't know that. Fucking hell that's depressing.

The rob Beckett jokes had me in tears

@AutomaticDuck300

6 жыл бұрын

245thegreat They cut out the response to "when the tooth fairy came, what did you do with the money? buy a car?" and Rob said "I got quite a bit of money actually. I lent it to you so you could buy yours."

@Mr79Shahin

6 жыл бұрын

Me too! What a barrage at the end! Pissing myself laughing

@swanningabout

6 жыл бұрын

No. It didn't

Jon looked so happy when jimmy announced he was married 😊

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

And I have to say he's done very well for himself!

@logix8969

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, he must've foolishly believed all the ridicule was over :P

Rob laughing at the Carol Vorderman jokes is what gives me life

John says his new girlfriend takes his breathe away, that’s because she’s inflatable. I’m dead😂🤣

@ragingqueer9363

5 жыл бұрын

*Jon

@paulsmith3128

5 жыл бұрын

*breath

@CoRLex-jh5vx

4 жыл бұрын

@bw 1506 no, it's not. "Letting a breath out" = "to breathe"

@CoRLex-jh5vx

4 жыл бұрын

@bw 1506 no, it's actually the complete opposite. Example: "I want to breathe, so I take a breath"

“It’s alright, mate; without these teeth I wouldn’t have any jokes”

"And the last time a fringe appeared on him"😂😂😂

@krashd

6 жыл бұрын

I wonder if Bill ever had hair on his head? He looks as though if his hair receded any further he would be combing his arse in the mornings.

"Sorry, I got a bit carried away there bruv!" *inner will to live disappearing* "It's alright mate..."

@jordenwaghorn3802

6 жыл бұрын

"Sorry, I got a bit carried away Rob"

@incrediblepony

6 жыл бұрын

Hmm... seems I misheard.. "bruv", would've been funnier imho :P

@nickc3053

6 жыл бұрын

Can't see Jimmy Carr as the type to say bruv tbh

@incrediblepony

6 жыл бұрын

me neither - that's why it was funnier :P

@TheSteven2704

6 жыл бұрын

When you’re quoting, you need to record exactly what was said ^^

Sean lock is a legend and will be dearly missed. Rest in peace

10:14 Oh snap! Susie's comeback was epic!!

@raywellington7048

6 жыл бұрын

what did she say again? I'm having a hard time understanding what she's saying there

@bluepineapples7818

6 жыл бұрын

Ray Wellington “But you know, you can never trust those sites because they say you’re a comedian.”

@boliussa

6 жыл бұрын

+Spyridon The crowd is so dumb they didn't laugh until she said she had to get her own back. If she had the title of comedian then they would have.

@davecrupel2817

5 жыл бұрын

Spyridon Giannakis 11:18 💥😫😂💥

@BMWED-um8yj

4 жыл бұрын

vicious

If you can't laugh at yourself, this is probably not the show to appear on.

I want Carol Vorderman as a guest on Cats Does Countdown. I want this so much.

Love how Rob Beckett loses it at the drunk Vorderman joke.

"When Car Vordemon sadly broke her leg, and had to be shot and melted down for glue." 😂😂Jesus Christ!!🤣🤣

"I'm not saying Rob has big teeth but he's 98% calcium" hahahaha

Shouldn't be sat next to the alpha should you mate :D :D

@donaloflynn

4 жыл бұрын

@Jay Bee If that's one of his best it doesn't say much for him!

They should get miles on the show more

@oliverthomas9052

6 жыл бұрын

Jupp I agree

@jamesmccarthy962

6 жыл бұрын

they're likely waiting till he stops laughing after last time (:

@Nabend1402

6 жыл бұрын

I don't think Miles wants to come back, because despite explicit promises made on the show, Sean did spit on his back during sex that night.

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

Oh man that was the funniest bit ever, even Jimmy couldn't control himself for minutes afterwards. Jupp's laugh gets me every time.

@simontay4851

6 жыл бұрын

I thought you said smiles at first and were refering to rob Beckett but them I reread it.

Sarah’s cackle could bring anyone out of a coma 😂♥️

The Carol Vauderman jokes were brutal,

That prime number joke is genius

@elliscooke3495

6 жыл бұрын

Peter Joy except it’s not because 51 is divisible by 3 and 17

@5them334

6 жыл бұрын

LordECooke that was the joke

@alephbunchofnumbers

6 жыл бұрын

I mustve missed it, do you have a timestamp? Edit: nvm lol, I found it 4:50

@hugolindum7728

6 жыл бұрын

LordECooke You missed the joke It’s “no longer in your prime.”

@funkyfranx

6 жыл бұрын

'No longer in your prime number' implies your age is not a prime number. 51 is not a prime number, so the joke makes sense

More zingers in this video than your local KFC, but seriously most shows would be extremely lucky to have one joke even nearly as good as any of these.

That Rachael Riley is unbelievably stunning.

@subliminalstyrene811

6 жыл бұрын

Agreed !, Rachel Riley is Utter Perfection, most gorgeous and most sexy woman alive today !.

@fraserward8582

6 жыл бұрын

As opposed to.....the other Rachael Riley...?

@CB-xr1eg

6 жыл бұрын

Well seeing as the one on Countdown and 8 Out Of !0 cats is called RACHEL Riley...well you figure it out.

@CB-xr1eg

6 жыл бұрын

Apparently, your friend worked on the show...? I call bullshit!

@CB-xr1eg

6 жыл бұрын

As opposed to...a clean farter??

I love that vic and bob do a brilliant "to me to you" moment even while on separate teams. Well done 😂

Rob laughing at that Carol Vordeman joke makes it so much more enjoyable

5:53 that level of cruelty aimed at Carol is art

When I'm feeling down, I just watch this and I'm laughing instantly........Jimmy Carr's insults truly are the funniest things ever.

"no longer in your prime number" is an absolutely brilliant joke 🤣🤣

7:52 what i love about that is that Greg already knew the punchline

The best part is how great a sport Rob is about it. Fucking glorious!

omg I'm 5"5 and a half and I _always_ acknowledge the half 😂

@krashd

6 жыл бұрын

You have to at our height, I'm a 5'7-and-a-bit male and I always mention the bit.

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

I got my height measured at the nurse the other week and I'd gained an inch from 5'8.5" to 5'9.5" - I swear it wasn't the cuban heel shoes I was wearing at the time! :P

@beardedemperor

6 жыл бұрын

No way are you 5'5.5-if you were, you'd round up to 5'6. People who insist on the half are somewhere between .25 and .5 No offense intended. I would too if we didn't do metric heights here.

@ashley.sterling

6 жыл бұрын

Bearded Emperor only in a comment section do you get complete strangers *telling* you about yourself.... lmao

@beardedemperor

6 жыл бұрын

There, or in bed after you think you blew their mind but in fact did not :(

The 98% calcium and druid jokes are simply brilliant. Hats off to whichever writer came up with em.

Jimmy's the greatest

The ivory poachers one destroyed me

This show is internet gold. So glad I discovered it this week, March 2019. Makes me laugh every time.

"Where would you move Sean?" Bloody hell Jimmy's quick-witted

I was grinning like Beckett the entire video. :D

@krashd

6 жыл бұрын

Were you kind enough to give everyone else in the room sunglasses?

Love cats does countdown, but when you put them all together like that .... I was in tears !!. great video

I love Rob's little snort at 6:18

Best part was Robb laughing at Carol Vorderman joke.

I love those Carol Vorderman jokes, i wish there was more of them

"Shouldn't be sat next to the alpha, should you mate?" XD

"Where would you move, Sean?" Hahaha! Damn, Jimmy and his lightning-quick wits. I love it.

2:08 is one of my all-time favourite lines.

3:06 Jonh’s face changing 😂

I just love Rachel’s weird crush ☺️ Jimmy’s face was priceless

@darkwitnesslxx

3 жыл бұрын

Its really Jon. Nearly everyone ships it.

"Jon had been single for so long that at his wedding for the something blue he just used his balls" who comes up with these

@twistedsis100

5 жыл бұрын

It's all most likes he's a comedian

@WaseemSakka

5 жыл бұрын

that wasn't jimmy who wrote it; he bursts out laughing as he's reading it

@mulrich

5 жыл бұрын

The vast majority of them are written by Jimmy himself. Some of them are written by the staff. Jimmy has laughed at his own jokes before, especially for stuff like this where he hasn't rehearsed it over and over - he still has to read from the card.

@WaseemSakka

5 жыл бұрын

@@mulrich that was his genuine laugh in this clip.

@clyd_benj

5 жыл бұрын

@@WaseemSakka Haven't you felt the urge to laugh at your own joke while saying it

The Carol Vorderman jokes were f**kin savage! LOL

10:48 Jimmys face is one of the greatest things I have seen today

"...mainly by ivory poachers" lmao

Poor Carol

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

She'd be laughing harder than all of them, she's a good old sport is Vorders!

I love the one about druids having a pilgrimage in Rob's mouth and dancing around his teeth

3:26 look how happy Sean is at Bill getting the piss taken out of him

Rob Beckett looks like a cross between two meme pictures: That dentist teddy bear with the full set of human teeth and the "lol wut?" painting aka The Biting Pear of Salamanca.

Damn that had me in tears.

I miss Karen venderman

@OP-1000

6 жыл бұрын

lord zomb . And her mobility scooter.

@krashd

6 жыл бұрын

The drunk bitch.

@862timelord

6 жыл бұрын

She'll be in bed now . let's not wake her

@michaellejeune7715

6 жыл бұрын

lord zomb If she ever made it that far.

@pcrana1

6 жыл бұрын

that slam about her asking for too much money was just too rad

I laughed at the planning permission one because that's what my dad does hahaha

6:11 I just love how much Rob Beckett enjoyed that joke.

Lol, this one was the best yet.

The "something blue" joke took me by surprise. Brilliant.

Bob at 3:12 looks like an older version of liam payne.. or is it just me lmao

Damn those Jon insults though, he's rough on him xD

The fringe joke had me in stitches.

Best teeth jokes I have ever heard!

I so want to watch the vic Reeves and bob Mortimer episode.. must've been hilarious

@shugaroony

6 жыл бұрын

Dunno if you've seen Bob's stuff on Would I Lie To You. They are easily findable here, and utterly brilliant, particularly the names of his friends in his stories. :D

@akib2542

6 жыл бұрын

his stories on wilty are legendary... and the names are out of this world... i can never forget mickey the drink and neil overall (gerry dungaree's son)

The glue one got me... I cackled so hard.

11:37 lool laughed out loud there that was so savage..

Phenomenal vid guys keep up the good work!

Very amusing :) Thanks for upload.

Brilliant! Never used to find Jimmy funny,but he really seems to have found his comfort zone here.

Rob Beckett almost bankrupted the Tooth Fairy.

Those Rob jokes had me stitches

Poor Carol :(

@CB-xr1eg

6 жыл бұрын

So carol if you're watching...ah she'll be passed out by now.

That last one against Rob 🤣🤣🤣

5:53 hahahaha

That ivory poacher joke was absolute gold.

You need to make more episodes!!!

10:20 its allright. Jimmy will have his revenge for that one 😂😂

I cried laughing watching this.....fantastic

This is actually my favourite video on KZread

Good chuckle

Poor Carol Vorderman, lmfaoooo.

Didn’t want that episode to end

These are so good 😂

Came here for the teeth jokes & wasn’t disappointed 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Best one yet🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏

Rhod looks like discount chris hemsworth

Jimmy's suits are on point each and every one.

Great stuff

Usually, Miles Jupp is bursting out laughing at everything but you can see at 8:40 that he actually tries not to laugh at Sean's expense.

I love Jimmy he is so funny xxx