Hold On to Your Kids: A Deep Dive into Gabor Maté's Wisdom
Hold On to Your Kids: A Deep Dive into Gabor Maté's Wisdom #gabormate #parenting #stress
Gabor Maté's book, "Hold On to Your Kids," offers a profound exploration of the challenges parents face in the modern world and provides insightful perspectives on how to foster healthy relationships with their children. Maté, a renowned physician and author, delves into the impact of societal changes on the parent-child dynamic, emphasizing the importance of attachment and connection in a world dominated by external influences. The book sheds light on the detrimental effects of peer orientation, where children prioritize their relationships with peers over those with their parents, and how this shift can contribute to behavioral and emotional issues.
Maté's work goes beyond conventional parenting advice, urging parents to reclaim their role as the primary influencers in their children's lives. By emphasizing the significance of attachment and emotional connection, he offers practical strategies for parents to strengthen their bond with their children and navigate the challenges of contemporary parenting. "Hold On to Your Kids" serves as a guide for parents seeking to understand and counteract the societal forces that can undermine the parent-child relationship, ultimately empowering them to foster a secure and lasting connection with their children in an ever-changing world.
Why ‘inside serene’? The idea of ‘inside’ is to navigate and dig deeper into what can human change to accumulate serendipity of thoughts that will help us mentally sync to a healthier, better and more in control of our thoughts.
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The power of words to control our emotions can be therapeutic to our mental health;
✅ “I'm here for you.”
✅ “You are not alone.”
✅ “You are worthy and deserving.”
✅ “You don't have to apologize.”
✅ “There is treatment available to you…”
✅ “You are strong!.”
" We must be willing to encounter darkness and despair when they come up and face them, over and over again if need be, without running away or numbing ourselves in the thousands of ways we conjure up to avoid the unavoidable". - By Jon Kabat-Zinn
✅ Be empowered ✅ Be intentional ✅ Be in control
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Пікірлер: 52
I do agree Dr Matè, but I think the musik is so disturbing, It`s so important what you express even more without musik❤
Dr Mate is national treasure! Unfortunately the background music is a dire distraction 👎🏻
If Dr. Maté would just move in with my family for a few years, I'd much appreciate it 😅 and I'm sure my toddler would thank us for it in the future 🎉
Unfortunately the music is way too loud
I agree and I am a grandma raising my 3 grandkids. I feel like I want them to attach but also recognize isn't their mom.
@andreatorluemke4982
3 ай бұрын
You are a healthy attachment figure. Children have The ability to attach To multiple Caregivers. Amen. I’m sure it decreases your daughter’s stress Knowing that you who she trusts rather than a stranger is caring for her child Amen
@Golf2foto
6 күн бұрын
„Every child needs at least one adult who is irrationally crazy about him or her.” - Urie Bronfenbrenner
Even under normal conditions, holding on to your children is a bad idea. You're supposed to set them free. Besides once they turn 18, you're no longer obligated to look after them, so release them! I have known of families who impatiently anticipate a parents' passing, so that they can collect their inheritances. Its common. I'm glad i dont need to worry about that.
And men have so much capacity in helping to facilitate a non stressful parenting environment for the woman who lets face it is the primary caregiver 99 percent of the time. What you are saying is we have to increase support to women with young children amen. As a society this needs to be less stressed and oppressive time for women as a whole In particular we are not set up for success in America at present standards biases and impossible expectations on women
I wish there wasn’t background music! No need to
what is the thing with the music I wonder? Isn't what he is saying enough?
Drugs don’t treat Trauma as I know from my own childhood abuse… if your a mess bringing a child into your life is so unfair. Let’s teach our young about what and how to be healthy First!
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
The problem is that having kids is considered a right, no matter what.
@nancyadams4358
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 yes I know and what’s that got to do with what I said?
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
@@nancyadams4358 it replies to "if you're a mess and bring a child into life", etc...bc having a kid is a right, most ppl don't care or don't think about how messed up they are.
@nancyadams4358
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 👍🏼 yes
If you knew my history you'd understand why holding on to kids is the worst thing to do. I came from a family who destroyed their children. They pretty nearly destroyed me.
When you strive for more success and materialism you learn that you lose your inner self and peace of mind when slavery is abolished from the loan sharks of this world to keep people in a treadmill of poverty that both parents have been forced to work for years now and children come into the world into childcare facilities raised by strangers and no nurturing family members are available for the modern day society is creating more mental health problems and behaviour problems that stem from the nurturing of close bonds with family members parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles extended family members to a society of isolation that has become the norm for children now no longer exist in having a childhood and social conditions that are causing developmental problems in the world today
Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤
@robynhope219
6 ай бұрын
Ridiculous...he is not a shrink!
@deepinmind83
6 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219You would rather go to a shrink?
@robynhope219
6 ай бұрын
@@deepinmind83 I would see dr.Bessel van der Kolk in a heartbeat.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 They largely agree with one another.
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
@@l.w.paradis2108 I don't think they're friends.
The background music is terribly distracting. I can’t pay attention to what you’re saying which I’m sure is important.
After thirty plus yrs, i disinherited both sons...should've done it sooner bc i was hoping against hope that we could reach some understanding between us before i leave this planet...but, NOPE, zero interest. One of them has five children who i never met, which is ok, but it seems to me they'd probably be curious about their grandmother, but are deprived of contacting me. Get the picture?
@ylvaeriksson4042
5 күн бұрын
They are curious about you, but are you not also curious of them? Have you tried saying I am sorry to your sons? I think they are waiting for this. And maybe then they can tell you why you should apologize. It eas probably domething you did out of your own trauma so not your fault. But still, you have to own it and take responsibility.
@robynhope219
5 күн бұрын
@@ylvaeriksson4042 you think I'm stupid, or something? I've done a lot more.. and no, I lost my curiosity. The door of opportunity has closed after many unanswered emails. I'm ok with it.
@robynhope219
3 күн бұрын
MY SON AND HIS FATHER DON'T WANT THE GRANDKIDS TO MEET ME BC THEY DON'T WANT THEM TO LEARN THE TRUTH...and the truth is that I am not the scum of the earth they're told the last 50 yrs. Strictly speaking, it shouldn't matter anymore bc I don't consider them family... nonetheless, the deep wounds remain. They will pay for this bc THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE.
Your children are not your children They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself They come through you but not from you And though they are with you yet they belong not to you ~ Khalil Gibran
@robynhope219
4 ай бұрын
That's right..we don't own them...therefore, we shouldn't hold on to them. Gabor needs his son's support, that's why he's holding on.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
@robynhope219 You need to read the book. Do you think Gibran wants you to hand your children over to their peers, for their peers to raise them instead of you? Or does Gibran believe parents should raise their children?
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
@@l.w.paradis2108 I'd assume the latter.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 Exactly what Maté says.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 Your other post got disappeared. I'll try to find it. I h8 the sense or sheep.
This is ridiculous. You can bond with your baby by bonding with your baby. Be attentive to needs and stay home if you can, but if you cant then do your best to be the best part of their day every day!. This is such utter shame put on mothers, only further confusing and suppressing your ability to mother well. Just do your best.
Gabor has a need to hold on to his grown children and wants us to do the same.
@deepinmind83
6 ай бұрын
We have an idea that has developed in our culture that people should kick their kids out of the nest sooner. This has resulted in a pendulum effect of generations kicking their kids out as soon as they legally can, and the next generations breast feeding and helicopter parenting their kids into the teenage years or beyond. The truth, as it appears to me, is that we are the only animal that isn't seemingly able to just intuitively know when the time to ween is right. No animal weens at exactly at a certain number of sun cycles, but in a general time range. We lost our ability to do this correctly at some point, and instead of asking if humanity's progression into a money centric system, where nothing else matters except personal gain, has caused issues in our ability to do natural activities, we instead blame it on certain people being morons. I think Gabor's illustration about a plant being sick prompting the caretaker into asking "what in this environment is impeding the plant" speaks to the ignorance in that type of thinking. Our society, much like a heroin addict, wants to blame EVERYTHING except the issue at hand, because we have come to love the idea of it so much. The idea that we are the sole master of our domain, and we too will be the hero of our own story. But the truth is, it takes all of us together to make heroic actions. History has never had a true lone champion.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
I see you didn't read the book.
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
@@l.w.paradis2108 what book? I only read The Myth.
@l.w.paradis2108
3 ай бұрын
@@robynhope219 Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
@robynhope219
3 ай бұрын
@@l.w.paradis2108 nah, don't need it...