A wise woman told me " Friends with benefits gotta have an expiration date"

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

100% agreed. Its very hard to keep it , "friends only." there are some people that have that certain callousness to them, or those people that lie to themselves. Its not an easy set up. You can even cuddle in friends with benefits, because of the emotion it brings out.

@shamia8980

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 EXACTLY!! Just a pump and dump..sad days we livin in

@GabrielB7369

2 жыл бұрын

Its not built to last

I have freinds with benefits its hurt cause you fall in love with him but he doesn't love you

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

Right , one of the best things i can advise anyone having sex with someone they are not in committed relationship with, ... i highly advise the use of a condom. (im well aware of the " it doesnt feel as good " argument. " i just left the hospital last night, my friend has been Diagnosed With H.I.V. .. the person im speaking about didnt believe in condom use.

@Dani84409

4 жыл бұрын

My situation currently. I cut off being fwb and he tried to come back and I said no. He then said you act like I cant get it elsewhere. It hurt me to my core, but I told him to go ahead then and hung up. It was my fault bc when we met he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship, but I felt like he would have a change of heart bc our chemistry was so great!! Boy was I wrong, but him talking to me in that way made me not feel so bad. It was disrespectful to me!!

@sifisomasina1164

4 жыл бұрын

@@Dani84409 yea it was your fault tho. I've got a girlfriend and a fwb and i made sure she knows shes only a booty call when my gf could not provide and its working out great

@Dani84409

4 жыл бұрын

@@sifisomasina1164 why are you playing the blame game? Good for you, but I was only sharing my past situation.

@Dani84409

4 жыл бұрын

@@sifisomasina1164 and as you can see in my first comment I myself said it was my fault, so you had no reason to come behind me stating exactly what I said smh.

If someone is friends with benefits with you, don't be surprised if they're not FWBs with someone else as well. I personally, and I'm a dude, frankly don't recommend it, because it always backfires, because sooner or later somebody wants more, and normally it's not reciprocated, and as a result somebody ends up getting hurt.

@Shay4YourMind81

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed 💯

@lydiahiksan1232

2 жыл бұрын

I have a little situation and any thoughts on it is appreciated He's 35, I'm 29 I met a guy in another state and we both had a lot of sexual chemistry and neither of us want a long distance relationship. We hooked up after a few days of knowing each other and had this unspoken fwb situation started. He knows I'm in his town every few months however, he does not text me unless he knows I will physically be in his city, I did not like that so out of the 3 times I've been to his city since we met I have never slept w/ him again. And he doesn't know why I won't sleep w/ him. Typically we are around friends so we haven't gotten a chance to talk about it as I avoid being alone with him. I have a big crush on him (I still don't want a relationship right now) but since I noticed he never tries to talk to me when I'm back home and far away from him I've decided to wait until he starts texting and calling me when I'm back in my home state before I think about sleeping with him again. At the end of the night when he asks me to go home with him I always just say "we don't know each other well enough yet" which is true but he doesn't understand b/c we hooked up that one time but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll sleep w/ him again. I had the expectation that we would become actual friends right after we initially hooked up but he never texted me until weeks before he suspected I would be back in his state. I've never had a fwb situation and I would need us to be actual friends that have a genuine bond if I were to commit to something like that. So basically whenever I'm in his city I just let him know my friend sand I are in town and he will invite his friends out to come meet us somewhere and we hang out as friends w/o the benefits. I feel like us two being just friends would just be WAY simpler at least in the beginning as we get to know each other. I just don't know if he's okay w/ this so I'll just continue in this way until he say's either he's had enough and doesn't want to meet me anymore or until he says he wants to talk about everything. I also can't tell since he's met some of my friends and I've met some of his friends if he feels he's almost invested too much to stop trying to hookup and once we hookup again it's gunna be a wrap. I really don't know and it's confusing so I just keep sex out of it until it's not confusing b/c I don't think it should be.

@bigenergy3880

2 жыл бұрын

yep and its me who got hurt(the guy) we stopped talking for month she cams back last week we slept togeher twice she told she slept with other guys and if it happens again she isnt looking for it but if it happens she will go for it. She says she has connection and loves me but we wouldnt work in a relo.. i been told just to be chilled again i became to needy and questioning and dont persue

@thecowboy9698

2 жыл бұрын

@@bigenergy3880 - Neediness is very unattractive, and only serves to push the other person away. In this case, though I would say definitely that in this girl's mind your her Back-up Plan. If you're okay with being such, well carry-on, however if you're not, you don't have to stick around. Don't go into a situation, or stay in one, that is unacceptable to you. We all have our own internal code, as to things that are not only right and wrong, but also things that are right and wrong for us as individuals. So, if you want more, if you really want more, yet she doesn't, have the self-respect to walk away, and you can do so in a completely dignified way. You can be polite and kind, but also firm in the process. For example, you can say something like this: "I always enjoy spending time with you, however I have come to the realization that this is not good for me. I want something serious, I know that you don't and I respect that, so I feel that it would best for us both if we go our seperate ways. I wish you the very best." Now obviously I don't know this girl's character persay, but if/when you tell her that this situation isn't right for you, and if she tries to potentially guilt-trip you, like for example maybe she says something like: "You never really cared.", or perhaps: "Oh that's right, because it's all about you and what you want.", don't take the bait. Don't take the bait, and don't try to explain yourself to her. Just walk away.

@tanyahudson6272

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!!!

"You can't force a relationship only open up space for it to happen"🤯

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

that was something a mentor taught me, and i find it refreshing and guiding as well. at the very least, sincere relationships, cant be forced. im happy to know it connected with someone else.

It will/can eventually tear you apart if you are a woman and will feel unsatisfying and like you're wasting your time because you will feel at arm's length and being used vs being cared for. It will really suck when you are left high and dry when in a time of need.

You end your FWB, when you meet someone with whom you want more than that with.

If u walk with God u dont have to deal with the bullshit

I had one friend with benefits I just ended. I ended it because I caught feelings. It started pissing me off when he started saying he wanted to move in together and get married and meet my mom but wouldn't move past the fwb title. So I broke it off this weekend and he was shocked. He said it hurt him... Funny cause I'm the one whose not getting a bf/gf relationship.

@madddie859

4 жыл бұрын

He always said he didn't want a bf/gf relationship.

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

yeah, ? its weird. men and women relationships tend to be at odds. its rarely a smooth sailing situations.

@sweetcapricorn

Жыл бұрын

Same I ended it he said why, well cause u getting benefit while I get not what I want. Time and consistency guys are goofy they wanna see how far they can go, and by that time the rope is cut

I believe you can have no strings attatched sex only when there's no compatibility or chemistry going on anywhere while the only factor there is sexual attraction.

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

its a fair idea.

@unkn0wnr0ckstar

2 жыл бұрын

100%

@sweetcapricorn

Жыл бұрын

Yup if its fair the guy i was dealing with thought he could come when he wants never when I wanted like dude ur confused im good and now he wants back in im coo

It's not healthy trust me the spirit and body cannot be separated you cant have your cake and est it too without destructions

I had a FWB once we were intimate twice. After I told him I liked him he ghosted me out of no where. I never heard from him again.

@chris263rea

Жыл бұрын

You should be thanking him

@maroussia22

Жыл бұрын

@@chris263rea and why is that?

@chris263rea

Жыл бұрын

@@maroussia22 saving you from a heartbreak, earlier the better luv

All valid points. It all boils down to taking responsibility and self reflection. I ended up in a friends with benefits situation because I was feeling low. We hold each other with high positive regard, but at the end of the day we are not right for each other. I have to get out of the way to allow room for God to create positive channels. The truth is people are scared to just allow God to humble themselves like Job did. He knew that he didn't need anything in life, just God. Would I marry myself the way I am now? Probably not, but I'm trying to see it as an opportunity, just like any season of life. God doesn't promise us marriage, hate to say it folks but that's the truth. God promises us Himself. Keep saying no to lead you to a greater yes.

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, Miss Kat. Feminism made it so that, neither men or women , are looking for marriage on a large scale actually. I was looking to find my one person for like 5 years... the dating world has changed alot. Cheating, friends with benefits, open relationships.... .. its quite a mess.

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, Miss Kat. Feminism made it so that, neither men or women , are looking for marriage on a large scale actually. I was looking to find my one person for like 5 years... the dating world has changed alot. Cheating, friends with benefits, open relationships.... .. its quite a mess.

@misskat7437

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 Satan is an asshat. Everyone has free will and our environments teach us what to look for. It's common for people to only know instability and if they meet someone without the drama they think there is no spark, when it's actually healthy (applies to non-romantic as well. ) Something I've been working on with God lately is as a secure person (and I am because I don't base my faith on fickle insecurities) is if I leave my interactions with people with confidence at the same time as asking God to fill my cup.

@deanna6742

4 жыл бұрын

This is exactly how I feel

@Flosseveryday

3 жыл бұрын

Wow MissKat amazing and relatable comment. I

I have been in one for the last 3 months . At first it was amazing. Now it’s become complicated.

@SunshineAndSnowflakes

2 ай бұрын

I had one on and off for 20 years and thank goodness we never caught feelings. He's one of my best friends now. He sometimes asked if I wanted to do a weekend away and I shut that down so it didn't get complicated. My ex is currently trying to be fwb's but I shut that down before it started. It rarely ends well. One person usually catches feelings.

This is a great video. I’ve read your comments that this was done 4 years ago. I recently had an opportunity to get back w and ex who wanted no committed relationship or commitment from me but to enjoy our time and “ let things happen” which meant he wanted to have sex. As hard as that situation was, i said no and goodbye. I feel that FWB is dangerous. Just like you said, someone ends up having feelings and things become toxic...i think that waiting for the right person and working on yourself to mirror what you want in another person is the way to go.Having sex is special and to give it away to someone who doesn’t really care about you is something i can’t do. I may be alone for awhile, but that’s ok. I too meditate and do a lot of self work which helps!

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

its a complicated subject. ultimately people do have to decide for themselves. Sex does complicate things in many instances, and improves them at least for some time. before the drama starts. lol.

@leslieanderson9295

4 жыл бұрын

Evolution Training very true...but I see a lot of unhappy people after it has ended. Yes there are some good endings, but from what I’ve seen it seems to end up in drama and sadness. That’s not what I’m looking for in life so I’ll stick by my choice and look for a higher vibrational person who matches me

@sweetcapricorn

Жыл бұрын

Yup going through the same rn

I really appreciate the energy here. Feels very real. Thank you!

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

i appreciate that , thank you.

Really enjoyed this video. Thanks for sharing. X

This was awesome 😎

1. Faith 2. Love 3. Sex 4. FOOD!!!!

This is Fantastic advise

41 and gave up on looking for someone. I have my children and my home. Not everything is for us. And sometimes it's alright to hold some dignity and modesty. F with benefits has no intamacy. Its a physical interaction that gives you a temporary relief in some way. On some level you might question if this is all our friendship is worth. They can point you towards doing something that makes your life amazing. Faith, integrity,productivity adventure acceptance of me being a mom.

@markg336

2 жыл бұрын

That is so true! It’s definitely not for everyone, I know it’s not for me. It does bring on questions about what are you really doing and what kind of friendship is it.

Thank you!

it ends when you find a better situation

Yes the friends with benefits isn't for me for that very reason sharing my body im gonna get feelings while the guy doesnt.

My friend she was..in the " friends with benefits" ...they end up married and they have daughter.

@evolutiontraining7870

5 жыл бұрын

That’s Great news ! A happy ending. What a blessing !

@electricred91

5 жыл бұрын

Lucky for her

@jessicaj.358

5 жыл бұрын

Good for her !

@MartyParty2809

5 жыл бұрын

Was that you Anna lol. I’m in the same situation now with a girl only she is not pregnant yet lol

@sweetyvany99

4 жыл бұрын

Lucky her.

Ow sweety...stay strong. You are not over that rela

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks Sweety

Dont do the fwb, my mother always told me don´t give your body to someone who does not choose you and really wants to be with you. She said this and it makes so much sense to me now 20 years later. You will get attached, you will get hurt. Also for men this is a reality or can be a reality. There is no such thing as seperation of the body and mind. So what happens is your mind and body work together to make you fall in love, cause thats how people become the strongest couples, it happens for a reason to have the best conditions if the offspring would come. Why spend time and energy on someone who doesn't really 100 procent want to be with you. In my twenties i was smarter, i decided it was better to be with my dog then start dating looking at dating apps, in my opinion it would very soon lead to sex and then nothing. Then in my thirties the sex drive became even higher and i thought, oh why not, if i don´t find that perfect partner, then at least i would have the sex fulfilled and living sexless i was done with that. Now i tried it, done the fwb and i can tell you it hurted more then i wish. After 2 years of fwb he started seeing someone else just like that and dropped me like a bomb. It made me wonder what was wrong with me, why he didnt miss me and the good sex and good connection we had. So in other words it made me feel very low. But soon i realized its all about his character and his flaws that he couldn't have a normal relationship. He is again in a new fwb type relationship, has a lot of problems mentally so i guess this whole fwb is the route to misery and problems.

8:19 whoa hell0 lol. but i really enjoyed this video. you bring up alot of good points. you have me thinking. which i like. i overanalyze lol

@evolutiontraining7870

6 жыл бұрын

thank you for the feed back. yes , friends with benefits, can be the ultimate temptation. because it feels good for a while, but it also can use up our time that we can be spending with someone more likely to build a life with us. be well. !

@lisafeola1705

6 жыл бұрын

I'm going thru hell I feel in love with a guy 2 years ago it's very difficult, it's the mist confusing situation I've ever been in 😣

@evolutiontraining7870

6 жыл бұрын

+Lisa Feola totally get it. ! The concept of a “ toxic relationship “ ,is the easiest way to describe what often happens. One of my mentors put it this way , “ the worse type of relationship is the one that went on longer than it should have “. One of the key ways to identify toxicity is Energy. Is being around this person energizing ? Do you feel healthier ? Toxicity is literally unhealthy. It isn’t just emotionally unpleasant. My fwb, situation became a girlfriend. Then it got toxic. 3 years after our Break up, we became amicable acquaintances at best. The truth is .... often 100% or as close to that 100% of cutting communication from a toxic person is eventually the best course. In order to meet new people. We are spiritual beings. And a few texts here me there. A few phone calls. A few meetings every now and again , are enough to keep the heart hopeful. If the relationship is toxic , I hope you find your way out. Trust me. I know that’s not “ so easy”

@evolutiontraining7870

6 жыл бұрын

Hi white boy! Yes , do you mean the part where I was discussing that in modern times healthy relationships are actually more trendy ? Vs. in the past friends with benefits was more cool ?

I'm curious. Would you say you're spiritual or religious. I have a friends with benefits and I think hes an energy vampire. If I spend more than a few days with him, I start feeling drained or more depressed than normal. In the myst of possibly cutting him off. It's not easy ha. It's been almost 5 years. :(

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

If someone ask me, I will tell them I am a Catholic who meditates; as I formally took up meditation and studied its beliefs and practices. When I tell people im a catholic yogi, i get odd looks, so, Im catholic. To me its more important to be spiritual. I can believe that your friend is an energy vampire. Its a common behavior people have. Yeah, its quite difficult to actually get away from friends with benefits. It sincerely and honestly is. Especially if its unprotected sex, and passionate. If there is emotional flirtation, and deep bonds going on, I would vote it is not a " friends with benefits only" because thats when it gets complicated. Its been four years since I made this video. I now think. that its more possible to have friends with benefits, but there has to be some rules set as to how it will be played out. Keep me posted on how it goes. Whatever you decide.

This is good

Thank you

He began bt py dating flowers and gifts. He always came to me but called at all times he was lonely or board. He did things around the house. He doesn’t have money. Coved is an excuse. Diet meal plans put the end for at least bring a pie. We are never seen in public. It’s going to be a dead end. I care more for him. I have to end it. I did and miss him

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

thats the way it goes. sometimes .... dont let yourself be used if you feel you are being used. it sounds like you are being used based on your feelings .

Btw...whoever that person was that said your video sucked and you need to dress better was a complete idiot! I think you look amazing, and great response back to her!!

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

thats very kind of you. do you have an instragram ? ill add you on there.

@leslieanderson9295

4 жыл бұрын

Evolution Training i do its Barbieriffic

@AZDC99

3 жыл бұрын

I agree. Straight guy here, and when I did the FWB, with an ex especially, I can't speak for her, but I'm going to assume her thought anyways: we didn't want to look needy or get rejected or whatever. So we had these false "NONE" negotiations going on. FWBing it. Until we got it goin on the second time in a relationship relationship form or whatever. (That was not cool THEN or likely now, being supposedly"needy," if you are a guy or girl, 1973 Dude, here). The guy is not simping it here at all here! (and I have anti-simp radar FROM HELL all the time on videos like these.) PS- he went for the digits like I like to with chicks I might dig Instagram in this case. Same thing different day It helps me in terms of getting through the darkness that happened in the past, videos like these. even though I'm pretty much over it. Reinforcement is definitely needed, even though I like to think I'm so much over that stuff. PSPS-- this is what life is really about! You put yourself out there and you can have fun for a few seconds or for a few months or beyond or whatever. Took you all guts to do publicly. But that's no backhanded compliment! It's a complete one instead. You guys are as "crazy" as I am, if you don't mind me referring to you all that way

Missed the how to on starting the convo haha that's the hardest part

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

lol.. the woman that I walked away from ... sent me a text yesterday ! we havent been together in years.. and shes inviting me over to her new place. I just left it on read and moved on. you have to close those doors and leave them closed if you really want people out of your life. how to start the convo huh? .. gee.. " id say being direct is best in situations like this.. .. rip off the bandaid and get through the pain .

Really good video. I’ve been on and off with my ex for a while now. I’ve been wanting a title but he keeps saying he wants us to better before we get back into a relationship. I just think he doesn’t wanna be with me. Trying to move on

We were LDR and he future faked me and texted catfished photos. I asked about the photos and he ran. Came back 7 months later under another phone number, mumbling about a misunderstanding and possible friendship. No thanks!

I just broke mines off we’ve been messing around since October of 2021 everything you said in this video is true things went from lust to romance to bitter sweet we haven’t talked in a month but I still have her on Snapchat

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

just read this.. its been 5 months .. do did you get back to her.. in the words of future " said I wasn't gonna f**k with that h* then I f'd her again " ... or did you stay away ? if you were able to walk away .. strong man . if not.. well.. it happens.

I have known my friend with benefits for over 3 years but he doesn't even use my name during our intimacy, he calls me baby or honey.

I’m currently experienced this at the moment but she ditches me to hangout with other guy friends. We had sex twice already and idk what to do at this point. I sometimes want to hangout with this girl but she doesn’t. Please help me out with this and what should I do at this point. I’m lost in something that I’m new to this?

@eduardogaleananava6597

3 жыл бұрын

I feel like she’s using me and only to give her rides.

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

the saying is, "Focus on yourself King" the thing is... if she really wanted you, she would be trying to be with you. So here are some harsh facts... 1. the sex may not be that great... but wait.... 2. even if it was good, she may still not be interested in perusing something more. the long road to becoming a better you is ultimately the best aphrodisiac. That means, looking better, being better, working out, being better in your career. the thing is,, attraction is not really a choice. so if this woman already had sex with you, she likely is or was attracted to you. at the same time, women are infamous for losing interest. or maybe even wanting another man more. its just life. its the cost of doing business. In other words.. this type of thing happens all the time and every day. I can't " help you" as much as I can tell you, you are going to have to toughen up when dealing with women, they arent too kind to soft men. sure, I could tell you different yada yada yada. or I could just rip off the band aid and tell you , "focus on yourself king" "

@eduardogaleananava6597

3 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 so just walk away and focus on myself and let things come to my life naturally right?

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

@@eduardogaleananava6597 its a way better strategy then begging for a womans attention. I assure you, nothing will ensure you don't get that attention, then begging for it. Let her go. there are 3 billion other women. consider that 10-18% of those are women you would actually be open to being with.. still decent odds. you can let go of one. most men have to let go of a few. its a hard lesson. I mean, why do you think I made this video. .. its hard .. especially if the sex is good.. but... what's the option. live in misery? despair? nah, choose hope my friend.

Awe dude. This more or less happened to me with a girl i met in my bio class on campus. We fucked three times( only known her for 3 weeks). It sucks too i know i may not be the only one ( she has TONS of dude friends) and at this point its really not my business but shes so great i dont even want to hear or think about any one else in her

My biggest problem is worrying about what others think about his affair and how it looks looks makes me look

@evolutiontraining7870

5 жыл бұрын

if this is your biggest problem, ill share with you my honest thoughts on how it looks to me. i think that if you really are concerned mainly how it looks to people, then keep it to yourself. society ising going to understand , or at least always verbally validate your position. people can be jealous or challenged by your views. lookinside your depest heart. i doubt you would have even allowed this "love triangle" had you not liked it on some level. and so if on some level you do, but have rule for this to exist, or continue. then explain those rules to your husband, im sure he would be willing to accomadate. men and women are different. we currently live in a society where we try to make them the same. Both men and women are equal in their value. this does not mean they are the same; God loves us all the same, and we are equal. and in the equality, we are also different in how we think, and what we want and prioritize. for example.. your husband may not be so bothered by what people think, or at least not to the extent you are... make sense.? different priorities of the genders.

I’m trying to break of my fwb. I know the situationship is useless to me..

What if he gets upset about it? I've been having trouble with this.

@evolutiontraining7870

2 жыл бұрын

like walking away ? I mean yeah, he likely will get upset. it is sex. I mean.. but adults have to make adult decisions. this is an adult topic. be well, and if you need professional assistance , please seek it to help with this situation.

how long after you started your fwb situation did you start a relationship? And what made you think you two should be together?

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

we started the fwb, situation around 2009-2011, then gave it a shot at being a couple in 2012 -2024 .. it was torture. lmao. some things are better as you originally saw it... but in any case, her and i are friends now. its now been four years since i made this video , my updated view on it.. is.. in some cases it can work for a short time. .. and if it is done, i highly recommend a comdon, because the condom keeps a level of distance to it... once the condom is removed... i think what i said this video is very true. a bonding takes place that is hard to break, .. . its both because it feels better, and and also because we are mamals, and its how we procreate.... to bone, fall in love, have deep connection and have kids. etc and raise a family ..

@abbycyr5557

3 жыл бұрын

Evolution Training I have strong feelings and I just don’t know what to do. He gets close then backs away. I’ve fallen pretty hard.

@abbycyr5557

3 жыл бұрын

I also just told him I started dating other guys and he wanted to see them. Said “he’s cute”. Idk what to think. He used to get jealous when we first started hanging out in March of this year.

@evolutiontraining7870

3 жыл бұрын

@@abbycyr5557 " hes cute" seems like hes kind of into men.., or hes trying to hide how jealous he is. Im not a jealous type so much if at all any more... the most id ever tell a woman about a guy is.. " he seems like a good catch for you " at best i may say.. " im sure some women find you attractive. " or " im sure some women find him attractive.. but to be like " hes cute" thats a bit odd.

@abbycyr5557

3 жыл бұрын

Evolution Training I told him how I felt and haven’t heard back so I got my answer I guess.

I walked away fr that n he said he well unblock his ex girlfriend.

10:20

So my friends w benefits started off he liked me alot & I did too but we weren't getting anywhere so I stopped seeing him for 4 years then I saw him after I broke up w my bf, & we became friends with benefits, although I was again the one to say that's all I wanted & now I'm in love w the kid. But he doesn't seem to reciprocate the same he calls me babe, baby & he says he cares but I think he cares like a friend ??? & Idk I'm just super scared to tell him how I feel !!! #help

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

i dont think you can force a relationship to happen. trust the process, be the best version you can be of yourself. and thats all you can do.

Thank you.... In my case help

Of course theres no string attached. Easily when one of two people sync their bodies with more than one person 😏

I am currently in a long distance/friends with benefits relationship and I only see him maybe twice a year. I make the effort to see him which takes me across several states. I have fallen in love with him and have told him but not sure how he feels even though I have asked him. He disagrees that we are in a 'friends with benefits' relationship but I don't see how it could be anything other than that. We do talk on the phone and send each other text messages. We took a break from each other for about 5 months and came back stronger. We both know it's a difficult situation because of our family ties and there is no commitment. We both do not want to end things but it's so hard for me because I miss him so much and want to be a bigger part of his life.

@evolutiontraining7870

5 жыл бұрын

First off thank you for your boldness in sharing. It takes a certain type of guts to be that real, and raw. hm, let me offer up a raw point of view based on much life experience and significant study on this. Im studying sexual dynamics even as I type this. .so here goes. ..... I think your perspective as seeing it as a friends with benefits is the most sober of the mindsets and he can in fact be sparing your feelings or his own by not agreeing. In other words, men are actually the more romantic of the two genders,.. being the gender that upholds things like codes, honor, brother hood, and of the two genders, it is the gender expected to be by Disney movies to be the "White Knight" so ... he can in fact not be willing to accept it in himself that he has feelings for you he has to keep in check, and/or at the same time realize that a part of him loves the physical and animal and ego gratification he gets from you being "fully" his while he is in fact not "fully" yours. thats the catch 22 with a dynamic like this, the second he were to feel the same, you may in fact switch on him as your love has conquered the un conquerable. so, ... the truth is this.. .the longer he keeps up this lack of unavailability, that is a mixture of chemistry, wisdom, choice, masculine anmial nature, etc.. Alpha vibe,.. the longer this dance between you two can maintain. Ultimately this comes down to age... if you are past 30 years old and female, this will likely continue as long as he wishes it to, if you are under 30, lets say even under 25 years old, , ... then eventually you may be the one that walks away as you look for something more solid and something that sustains you financially ... and allows you to have kids and a man to help you support em .. for example. Sex is complicated because we are always balancing our animal natures , along side our desire to leave a legacy and represent our family .. in other words, ... if legacy didnt matter, and we didnt care how are family saw us, and if we had to raise kids.. what would be the point to settling down and building a life. I made this video because I actually walked away from a woman that as long distance for a time, and i eventually made her my main woman, and i was super loyal. ... it didnt work out, it ended up being both one of the most passionate sexually driven and most unstable relationships i ever had... so as sad as it is to read... in this life... often the person we have the best sex with and the person we can best build a life with to raise a family with , are rarely the same person. It would be so great if it was. Its not me that makes it this way. thats why its said, "dont hate the player , hate the game" even as you read these words, you may be thinking " I cant believe this fucking guy is actually on the other end of this keyboard typing this stuff so raw to me, so soberly, without restraint, ugh, how dare he." all while the part of you that appreciates clarity, is greatful someone is saying it. this is the pain of life. Now, that said, my walking away from easy sex, was hard, I simply had to ask myself, " am i brave enough to search for the next level of myself? " and I was and here I am. Currently years after making this video, im very happy I made it, the woman in question lives 5 mins from me, she introduced me to her new boyfriend a few months ago, as i walked away from them i asked myself, " am i jealous at all?" i said " no, im hungry and sleepy" I got a burito and went to bed. Id love to interview you on this if you like on google hangouts. .. for now let me say this... Im happy for you, and if youve seen my video and the key ideas, then you have been exposed to the key ideas you need to open up the next level to you.

@eduardoleon6761

4 жыл бұрын

I'm also in a long distance relationship and is also a fwb thing,we have been together for 9 months and have only seen each other 4 times ,but talk on the phone or message eachother every day,I have fallen in love with her but her feelings maintain the same ,No love no feelings,their is a big issue with trust especially when she tells me she talks to other guys and likes one but she is not interested in going out with him,and I believe her,she later told me that she is married but her husband is doing 22 years in prison,he has done 8 yrs, and has 10 yrs left to do she tells me that it is over ,between them ,just has not got around a divorce because of the$ , and I really don't believe her that she doesent love him, that fits with no love no feelings ,and she even tells me look for a girl that can LOVE me , but when I tell her I'm breaking this off ,she practically cries ,so I feel bad for her ,trying to faithfully wait for her husband ,and has for the last 8 years ,but she just needs a friend, what I'm getting at in your case their is always more than what he is telling you

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

@@eduardoleon6761 Well Bud, you have officially broken the friends with benefits boundaries. You are now officially trying to have a intimate emotional relationship. To really have a friends with benefits situation, you cant really talk to much , or cuddle, or anything that inspires emotional intimacy, or it starts going into new territory. Friends with benefits, is exactly what it sounds like... a non - emotional arrangment between friends to meet sexual needs and wants. Once jealousy comes into the picture. ... and you are talking to her every day.. that is no longer friends with benefits that you have. in this situation, the way you describe it, she has played it correctly and you have fallen victim to the fire of passion and intimacy. the chance of you coming out unscathed , ( in other words not hurt ) here, are small now.

Idk what me and my ex relationship is like it’s obvious he doesn’t actually like me but he still dates me but one day when I went over to his house (I’m best friends with his sister)I ended up being alone and we kind of kissed and stuff and idk what to do TwT

My husband and I had friends with benefits a woman but now that I've realized what happened between them I don't want them to be friends anymore besides he's probably addicted to her I think when a man cheats on his wife but he makes her look like she's very unattractive and he has to find something better so I just I don't like it all together but sometimes he puts a lot more in the relationship than I do like sometimes I'm a forgetful here learner but I try I learned a lot more about relationships and he has

How about ending it before it starts….

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

yeah well.. sometimes.. its already started. but yes.. thats the ideal ..

My fwb seems to have fallen in love with me, causing me alot of problems as I now feel bad about how I care for her but she's not a life partner

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

its the way it goes... believe it or not... if you reciprocate that love back... she will likely not want you the same she does now... its the most fucked up math in the world... (you have been warned ) Before i made my casual relationship a "girlfriend" she would treat me like the best person in the world. when she got the title, i was treated like trash. I cannot make sense of it. it doesnt make sense. other than people seem to want something to work for. if you give her a title.. she gots nothing to "work for " in her eyes, you are at that point, "captured" people may not like reading this.. but its not my game... its the way this seems to pan out .. and not just with me. put it this way

@samuelaubrey2612

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 yeah I'm putting an end to it completely before it causes more hurt, wise words, I'm never ever doing this again

@samuelaubrey2612

4 жыл бұрын

It's so unhealthy and doesn't feel natural at all the way I've been behaving, it's pure delusion

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

@@samuelaubrey2612 Well Samuel, its been 3 years since i made this video. My view on friends with benefits has changed a bit. I think it is worth a shot, especially if a condom is used. What tends to cause most of the problems, believe it or not, is unprotected sex. I think its because when we are fully intimate with someone, its difficult to separate emotions from the situation. I understand this may read funny, but I cant stress the importance of using condoms with people you have no emotional trust with.

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

@@samuelaubrey2612 May I ask, if the situation you were in, was with a condom, or without a condom?

So is there a way to make it into a relationship?

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

well.. in my case, it became one.. but .. It was very turbulent and toxic. passionate. and draining.. but.. yeah.. I guess it is possible. I think successful relationships are a reflection of the head space of the peopel that enter them. its like the sum .. or average of the two people. hope you are well. just read this

You told people to get council from their Pastors or Priest. Do you not know that the Bible says that sex outside of marriage is a sin? It really pisses me off that you are going to tell people that sex outside of marriage in friends with benefits is okay but then you tell them to get council from people who uphold the Bible. It’s so disrespectful of you to Christians to do that!

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

thank you so much for your input Natalie. well, I dont know anything about you; at the very least you have my videos on here to have an idea of who I am. that said.. let me ask .. " have you ever had sex outside of marriage ? " and if you have and you are a christian ... im just going to end the convo there. you see, the video I made , which is now years ago, was made to help people make a good decision if they found themselves already in a FWB situation . thats it.. be well. and Godbless.

going through it now over a year with best friend she doesnt feel same way but continued sex. she ended up slseping with other guys last month coz we stop speaking she came back we slept together but she said we just friends and she might sleep with others again

@evolutiontraining7870

9 ай бұрын

she had that porn star vibe going .. it happens.

dragging,dragging long boring video till you get to the point ...........

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

thank you for the constructive feed back eva, .. i went to your channel to look for a better example... alas i was unable to locate them. i feel silly for asking, .. but please post the link and ill take notes on how to improve. thank you , be well.

@eva-nr2bs

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 Wow???!!! You replied that fast? I really hit the right spot huh?

@evolutiontraining7870

4 жыл бұрын

if by "right spot" you mean that i am greatfiul and blessed for your input and feed back , then yes, you hit the "right spot."

@eva-nr2bs

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 LOL

@eva-nr2bs

4 жыл бұрын

@@evolutiontraining7870 You're such a idiot! Just look at yourself in the video. Change your image you are absolutely anti-sexy. Your clothing ..... no comment. Let mi give you advice,ignore bad commenters. If you'll do that they will stop also. Oh,and one more thing.....congrats to "197" subscribers. It says it self ........

Thank you