I loved how he referred his wife to last year's card to find all the "sweet" things he wanted to say to her. I was married for almost 31 years before my husband died but we had been married about 15 years and I asked him (why do women always do this?) "Why don't you tell me you love me?" (I knew he did because his actions said he did but I just wanted the words.) He said, "Well, I've told you I love you in the past, right?" I said, "Yes". He said, "Well if I ever change my mind I'll let you know."

@briannasumbillo1658

4 жыл бұрын

Omg that's brilliant lol

@eirikmurito

4 жыл бұрын

Haha

@daisylouise5501

4 жыл бұрын

That's brilliant. Sorry for your loss

@piperuk5366

4 жыл бұрын

Ahahaha!!! Gold!! 👍🤣

@maeking5268

4 жыл бұрын

That's so amazing.. ❤

"cause I'm throwing it in and sometimes I miss...." Hahaha lmao 😂

@victoriaparker2023

4 жыл бұрын

Passionate Picker I always do that 😂😂😂 and I try again until I actually get it in 😂😂😂

@CovidConQuitTheCensorship

4 жыл бұрын

Victoria Parker - My ex husband would do this, leave his clothes on the floor near the laundry basket. I could never figure out why. Now I know 😂

@martinthewarrior5016

4 жыл бұрын

Kinda expected that same line to come with the dish washer one ngl "Honey, why do you you always put the plates next to the dishwasher, not in the dish washer? They dont get washed if their just *next* to it!" "...well I'm throwing it in!"

@martinen.5025

3 жыл бұрын

Everyone who lives with someone who does this, ie, not put dirty clothes in the laundry basket should do one thing: JUST LEAVE IT THERE DON'T TOUCH IT DON'T WASH IT DON'T TIDY IT DON'T PUT IT WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE they will soon run out of clean clothes to wear and when they inquire as to where a particular item of clothing is... your response will be, "where did you leave it?" Motto of the story: If it isn't in the basket it doesn't get washed!

@Tanias112

3 жыл бұрын

This is my boys...

Well..his wife is right on pretty much everything 🤣

@johnstew8617

3 жыл бұрын

Yes

@hfyaer

9 ай бұрын

Except spontaneity. She clearly meant the opposite.

"The only thing you clear in this house on a regular basis is your internet history and it's disgusting" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What monster opens a new milk when theres one already one open??!!!

@karenwangari4057

4 жыл бұрын

I know!So annoying

@kstormgeistgem461

4 жыл бұрын

honestly? it's never mentioned as to whether the milk left over is still good or just only good for making buttermilk biscuits. if the milk moves more like sludge than liquid, then i'd go with the bigger question of why he didn't just chuck it.

@thetruth3316

4 жыл бұрын

Are you his wife?

@mckavitt

4 жыл бұрын

Chanie Feldman-Levin I live w one who opens new everything before the old one is finished.

@antoniajane5442

4 жыл бұрын

My 19 year old son...

LIKE HOW HE USES HIS FIRST JOKE TO FINSH THE LAST JOKE !!!

@AD-kv9kj

4 жыл бұрын

That's one of the oldest stand-up writing tricks in the book mate. This guy's painting by numbers and everyone calls him a "genius"... Bizarre.

@amywarren8213

4 жыл бұрын

Austin Dyer well at least he makes people laugh

@wynwilliams6977

4 жыл бұрын

@@AD-kv9kj SO go do it yourself if it is so easy

@VRDennis

4 жыл бұрын

It's called a call back. It's something most successful comics do

@timbradshaw5481

4 жыл бұрын

It's so cheap it's not even funny. I feel dirty when I use it, there's no skill. Its cheap but it works, like selling your soul to the devil.

"I still love you. ....See last year's card for full details." xDDD

@johnstriker480

4 жыл бұрын

0:44

@leptoon

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah that is definitely a thing he said. Why you're quoting a video that everyone who would read your quote literally JUST watched, and why your comment has almost 900 "likes", I have no idea.

@natv55

3 жыл бұрын

@@leptoon This is very common in the comments - people quote the bit that rang true with them the most/made them laugh the most etc. I guess it depends on what videos you're watching 🤔

@generalbaryonyx6850

3 жыл бұрын

It’s a weird thing to do but it doesn’t bother me it’s just strange

@thedarkness97

3 жыл бұрын

@@generalbaryonyx6850 I just put a timestamp and a laughter emoji..

The dishwasher part is so relatable.

@jipke

4 жыл бұрын

@Mister Physics I know what you're talking about, mate, been there. But I was actually referring to the wife bending over and then me groping her lovely butt.

@Mushroom321-

4 жыл бұрын

@@jipke haha , YES,.. so relatable.. 🤣

@kerensabirch5214

Жыл бұрын

I ended up asking my man to not grab my butt EVERY time I walked past him in the kitchen.

Spot on. He is a brilliant observer with just every day average stuff.

6:03 "look at me- im n e k e d~"

@aestheticnugget6284

4 жыл бұрын

That one episode with rachel in friends when she was home alone 😂😂

He always ties the joke together at the end giving credit to those who bothered to listen previously and making you feel special for getting it.

@davisperron4260

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah so even if you missed the whole middle part you can walk away still thinking he was funny 😂

‘I knocked her in by mistake’. OMG! I’m crying. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@lifewuzonceezr

4 жыл бұрын

LOL, ex would think it was funny to smack my arse while I bent over, and my fat arse would ripple up my back, tipping me over!

"You might as well put it in the fn garden" One of the best uses of the f word ever.

anyone notice the woman at 8.03 that said to the person next to her that 'that's you' when Michael was talking about spontaneous dishwasher loading 😂

@carolodell6145

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I did mentioned further up. He certainly is a observer of people and action

8:01 The woman said to her husband “that’s you” 😂 Also Michael , me and my bestie Bethan are massive fans and always listen to your jokes in our art class 😂

@magmafang7187

4 жыл бұрын

Shouldn't you be doing art

@hannahdiane8451

4 жыл бұрын

Jakub Gdaniec it’s the thought that counts lol

@hannahdiane8451

4 жыл бұрын

Magma Fang yeah but we listen to Michael McIntyre whilst doing art

@bonnienash8585

4 жыл бұрын

@@hannahdiane8451 I love hearing you are doing art , art opens parts of the brain and can help with memory and cognitive movement. It's also been proven to help stress and anxiety. Take no notice of comments from others keep enjoying art . Michael is great he lives close to us in North London ☺️.

@jooprodederode9329

4 жыл бұрын

This is not a joke, this is real...but if you don't understand, it's a joke. The one came from Corsica the other came from Georgia, and the third came from Austria, and all three did the same, but they did the same for the same ... and We serve the same ... understand History ....

8:00 "that's you" lol can't imagine how many people just said the same thing. I know i've done that in the past :/

I completely understand her! The everlasting battle in my house!

@billysinge8977

4 жыл бұрын

Janelle Torres fucking hell, you need to sort out your priorities

@bt7846

4 жыл бұрын

@@billysinge8977 yoy have to honor the orhers' work.

@mariebourgot4949

4 жыл бұрын

@@billysinge8977 Oh, because you are the one to do the dishes and laundry?

“If you open up one more milk.......” I’m shitting myself laughing and it’s 3am so I’m trying to be quiet

@tinyspyro8163

3 жыл бұрын

Haha same xD 😆 I'm trying to not wake up the whole house but I can't stop laughing 🤣

Has to be my favourite comedian by far!! 👌🏻He’s hilarious 😂

I've never watched Michael McIntyre and not laughed out loud enough to feel I've done my abs workout for the day.

@davisperron4260

3 жыл бұрын

That’s a pretty good sign. He doesn’t make me laugh that hard but he does make me laugh out loud which is pretty unusual for standup comedians

Putting empty boxes back in the cupboard, fridge ,why do men this??? If it's empty it's trash, throw it away.

@Beatdownkioskman

4 жыл бұрын

women do it as well, my own mother does this so you're just man hating

@krisbest6405

4 жыл бұрын

Less than a teaspoon of milk put back is just lazy, also an empty toilet roll.

@julius_726

4 жыл бұрын

So she won't know I finished it in one go; it will take a few days for her to realise and so it will look normal.

@DuchessOfDoofus

4 жыл бұрын

Lol 100% female right here and I am 100% guilty of this XD

@raspberrymojitogirldec

4 жыл бұрын

My mum does that lol

08:22 "Jesus! There's a spoon in my eye." "Sorry, I was trying to be SPOONTANEOUS" 😂😂

@lucelu551

4 жыл бұрын

spontaneous.😀

@gypsywoman9140

4 жыл бұрын

@@lucelu551 They were making a pun by playing on words

OMFG That empty packet back in the cupboard, UGH! Both my sister's and our dad do that. Mum still thinks it's me for some reason 😭😭😭

Why am I watching this I ain't getting a long-term relationship ever 😂

@daltontomkins5406

4 жыл бұрын

Omg I relate

@bt7846

4 жыл бұрын

Long term doesn't have to mean same roof.

@megabyteme5545

4 жыл бұрын

@@yjy5448 go back to the basement troll!😂😂

@mariebourgot4949

4 жыл бұрын

@@yjy5448 You're so unaware of yourself that yu can only project on other. I pity any women, girls who's ever been in your life.

@fozzybear8878

4 жыл бұрын

@@yjy5448 FFS, you are a fool. Just an incel who has no appeal to women. Fuck off this thread.

This is where the f word is used correctly, you might as well put it in the fn garden, a masterpiece.

I've been married for 14 years now and I totally relate to that. Spontaneity is almost impossible when you have kids 😁

the only thing you clean in this house, on a regular basis is your internet history and it’s disgusting 😂😂😂

“I’ve read three books” Oh boyyyyy

I choked on my biscuit. literally was putting an empty packet back in the cupboard during that joke and literally choked.

Dishwasher = my husband. Biscuits = my sons. Men 😲🤣

@caralama08

3 жыл бұрын

Karolina T Because women DO TOO MUCH FOR THEM!

@faketohma

2 жыл бұрын

My brother took the last hot pocket out of the freezer and left the box in there. In fact he did it not once but twice. Imagine wanting a certain food and you reach into an EMPTY box (twice) I found a coffee can in the pantry with no cofffe and a Dunkin’ Donuts empty coffee bag inside. I was like there no way my mon would do this this is my brother

8:03 that woman said to her bf of screen "that's you" read her lips XD 🤣🤣🤣 I'm weak

You are my favourite stand up comedian. I love the fact that you are not vulgar, even though you make quite a lot of sex jokes. You are brilliant! Thank you for sharing your work on KZread!

"Goes down as a whole" is priceless. 🤣 "Is there anything else?" is even more priceless. 🤭

So is it 4 years? 8 years? 12 years or 13 years? I think Mrs. Michael is gonna have a Word with him one more time tonight.

@doms6741

4 жыл бұрын

4 years married 8 years together before hand. That's 12 years. Then at a show a year later its 13 years

@bellasofiamartiinez

4 жыл бұрын

Not really. The first clip it's just 4-5 years earlier. The clips are not from the same show

@grimreaper8217

4 жыл бұрын

*Mrs McIntyre*

@MerimaTropoja

4 жыл бұрын

@@doms6741 It's not 8 + 4 years, out of the 8 years they have been together they have been married for 4.

@johnjohansson6277

4 жыл бұрын

This is a compilation of joke from different shows over the years. He obviously told one joke after 4 years, another after 8 and the other joke after 13 years....

I feel that "milk" comment in my soul.

8:03 That woman saying 'That's you' 😂😂😂

Mr. McIntyre is the ONLY living comedian who can make me laugh so hard!

Micheal, you are one of the best comedians of all time!

Oh my God!! This is the exact conversation I have with my partner all the time.........and nothing changes!!!! .. ....

I never get tired of this one. It’s still good no matter the time 😂

He is sooooo seriously adorable! 💞😂💖😂💞

Very funny! But is it just me or does his wife sound a lot like bridget from bridget jones? The expressions, awkwardness and tone is on point 😁

"Men don't need to be seduced.. We can seduce ourselves unknowingly in our sleep" 💀

I laughed the whole time and finally got belly laughs that hurt! It’s been so long, so good job! And I snorted! 😂

🌸 married life.....you have to come up with new shit every year, jump through hoops etc lol 😂 Socks off if it’s a special occasion lol 😂

Yes, cannot take ladies for granted😍😍

"The only thing that you clean in this house is your internet history" 🤣🤣🤣

This is not just comedy he's giving life lessons y'alll. Gooold

Thank you for the laughter you bring to my life.

My gosh!, Your impersonations , gestures , paceing is hilarious.. 🤣 I LOVE it!! 😃 I wish I could meet you to thank you!! for so much resonating w/ the pet peeves part.. 😲

BRILLIANT never have too much of Michael McIntyre’s comedy. 💖

As a woman, I agree with the wife on evertyhing re: the milk, dishes etc - isn't it common sense?

@jacdaniels4039

3 жыл бұрын

*clears throat* "MiNiMuM"

@mothiurNCL

2 жыл бұрын

Yes - Real men

@Hankblue

Жыл бұрын

I don’t agree re the milk. Like why on earth are you getting upset that there are two milks to choose from?? How could this possibly affect you?

@susivarga7303

Жыл бұрын

@@Hankblue Depends. If they have the same expiry date, it's just a lazy thing to do but causes no real issues. However if you start using the second bottle and let the first one go off, that's is just plain stupidity.

@FoxGlove8

10 ай бұрын

@@Hankblueexpiry date- it has to be finished 3ish days after it’s opened

YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS AND CONVEY TRUE DAILY REALITY IN THE BEST EVER OF WAYS. SIMPLY ADORE YOU

I was spontaneous over my girlfriend once. She said 'is that it?'

@FrancescoBellringer

4 жыл бұрын

poor you

My girlfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary today. This is a hilarious coincidence.

@sumguy835

4 жыл бұрын

That’s lucky, you might not have remembered if you didn’t see this. ESSO sell flowers...

@VibrationCrystals

4 жыл бұрын

Awww...congrats. I hope you two continue to be very happy.

@nickymorgan3793

4 жыл бұрын

Happy Anniversary 😄

@786qad

4 жыл бұрын

Get her pregnant before she runs away

@aliciagraham9401

4 жыл бұрын

Cuteeee

It's so accurate, about the muting of the t.v and getting re dressed and putting on the glasses ..laughed out...

This is so funny, but its only because it's true! Love this!!

Anytime I am just a little bit down, I rewatch one of his videos. Now, I’m down to re-re-rewatching and he’s still funny!

OMG him talking about his wifes lecture to him is the EXACT same as me and my boyfriend...THE GOD DAMN SAME 😂

Love your shows, have watched them all many times

OMG he's the best! Love your humour Michael!😂😂😂😂😂🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

everything is super relatable :)))))))))). he is amazing

Very funny, very relatable! Thank you 😄😆

Simply lovely! We got so much rain yesterday and today the sky is cloudy but after this video, sleep all you want sun!

"I knocked her in".... I can't breathe 😂

8:03 “that’s you” 🤣🤣

I love the knowing looks the couples in the audience give each other!😂👍

Lol, I swear, I laugh no matter how many times I watch his shows.

the "please turn over...the page" part was genius

I am sat in my car, on my own, outside my house, laughing like a hyenna. Going to look like an idiot if I suddenly stop laughing hysterically and get out the car and go indoors straight-faced, so, am now considering what sort of a smile to maintain without also looking like a complete twat!!! 🤔😁

i love you, please turn over XD

@patrickbonham949

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

Omg this is so accurate 🤣🤣🤣

Warning! Do not eat & drink whilst watching this hilarious funny man🤣 I spluttered a mouthful of tea. 😂

he has nailed this.

This guy was building up a practical joke his whole marriage That is what i call comedian

The woman at 8:03 says that’s you to her man 😂😂😂

That just cracks me up every time I watch it! Women from everywhere are thanking you, Michael! When we are needing a "chat", all we have to do is play this.... hahahaha!

Haha I do that now. I’m a newly wed but we’ve together for 5 years ❤️

He's a Champ in delivery

Damn! Lost weight! Looks good man! Love the content. Funny as heck!

By spontaneous; buy her a bouquet of flowers out of nowhere 😂

I love this man .... He sends cards!!!! ........

At least your dishes land in the kittchen!😂😂😂

@CovidConQuitTheCensorship

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha I hear ya 😂😂

🤣🤣🤣 the dishwasher scene ! 🤣

Love this guy xx

He’s so funny, he always makes me 😆

Those on long term relationships will laugh more than those who are not.

He is brilliant! Could easily have his own television series.

What an amazing talent Michael is!!!

You are so very funny. Thank you

Awesome!

Omg that is my life! Lol

Why is this my husband?! 😂😂😂

Oh God!! I love u sooooooo much MMc🥰🥰🥰

Loveeeeeeeee this man!!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 love his humour x

Oh this clip is a gold.

My god I have never in my life laughed this hard! Im crying!

So funny I enjoyed it thanks

I love your jokes. It is all too real, hahaha.