The difference between a catholic and a baptist is the catholic will say Hi to you at the liquor store

@LeslieLanagan

3 жыл бұрын

I've heard a variation of that joke............. Protestants do not recognize The Pope as the head of the Christian Church. Jews do not recognize Jesus as The Messiah...... and two Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store.

@gabrielacanseco7851

3 жыл бұрын

jajajjajajaja

@dourtandouar1318

3 жыл бұрын

@@gial8862 But they say no women pastors and no openly gay pastors, the same as Baptists.

@richardjoiner7542

3 жыл бұрын

Re rant. Adios Kemosabi.

@dafrasier1

3 жыл бұрын

@@gial8862 Celibacy is a Money Making Scheme. No wife or children; that the Church has to take care of, pay for, give land to. Like eating Fish on Friday; a money making Kick back scheme.

One of my favorite jokes is when Jim led into his Catholic material by saying, "I want to make sure everyone feels comfortable, so that's why I'd to talk to you about Jesus."

@thecausalgamer7916

Жыл бұрын

“He-he better not” 😂

@cv507

Жыл бұрын

ketzöDix dönt get kännzerr... säy gett trinüttea XxD öld indjän jöke v v

@janetpfaff9470

Жыл бұрын

Q

@msbirdsong77

11 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂YES!

@sharonellzey8413

9 ай бұрын

​@@thecausalgamer7916+@x

I went to Catholic school for 13 years and I always loved your standup even back then. Relatable as heck. Non Catholics don't truly understand me when I say Easter Vigil is a lesson in endurance.

@nowvoyagerNE

2 жыл бұрын

i'm not catholic and i know that a sunday sermon is a lesson in endurance...and an aerobic workout.

@mackenziesinger8926

2 жыл бұрын

@@mwidunn our Easter vigil mass was 3hrs long…

@mwidunn

2 жыл бұрын

@@mackenziesinger8926 . . . and, yet, I'm sure you'll find, that is not the typical situation in Catholic churches on Holy Saturday.

@enigmaticallyso

2 жыл бұрын

@@mwidunn Ours is also about 3 hours.

@mwidunn

2 жыл бұрын

@@enigmaticallyso . . . by the way, still doing it ONCE per year is not really a lesson in endurance, is it?

"I'm an Episcopal, which is Catholic Lite. It's like...same religion, half the guilt." -- Robin Williams

@steverichardson8080

2 жыл бұрын

Live on Broadway, 2002. Great performance by the late great Mr Williams

@wolfthequarrelsome504

2 жыл бұрын

And half the truth

@maxfan1591

2 жыл бұрын

@@wolfthequarrelsome504 "And half the truth" If you're trying for humour, leave it to someone who's funny. And if you're trying for pious commentary, well, leave it to someone who's funny.

@johnnations5932

2 жыл бұрын

"I was Catholic until reached the Age of Reason." - George Carlin

@sherrynusbaum5913

2 жыл бұрын

Ahhhhhh, that Catholic guilt! Lol

I'm from a big Catholic family, third of 12 children. We had twice as many kids as the Waltons and half as much peace and kindness. Seriously, we loved each other very much and had each other's backs when the chips were down. Except we didn't have any chips because they were too expensive. Goodnight, Jim-Bob!

@natewalton3838

3 жыл бұрын

my last nam,e is walton and im one of 6 so yes you have 2x the amount of siblings I have

@amjPeace

3 жыл бұрын

Nate Walton Goodnight, Nate-Bob!

@angeloacosta9411

3 жыл бұрын

I'm 7 of 9... Lots of hand me downs and very little money for anything else. Stay strong & healthy...

@angeloacosta9411

3 жыл бұрын

@@helenhighwater5313 yeah my friend laughs about that !!!

@tangenty6987

3 жыл бұрын

@@helenhighwater5313 😂

I worked with a wonderful nun who used to rely on St. Anthony, patron saint of lost objects, when she misplaced something. "St. Anthony, I can't find my keys!" she would say and then laugh. But she always found her keys, and now I, a non-Christian, call upon St. Anthony on occasion and think of Sister Arlene (who would have been a helluva Pope, BTW).

@lisaburke8232

3 жыл бұрын

Or, this version my sister says which works almost all of the time, “Tony, Tony, look around. Something’s lost and must be found!”

@dafrasier1

3 жыл бұрын

Religious Insanity. Tuam Babies. 800 dead Catholic Children dumped in sewer pits by wonderful Conservative Irish Catholic Nuns.

@Phooie

3 жыл бұрын

@@lisaburke8232 that's funny! 😊

Only Catholics Can Truly Appreciate This One, Jim! Thanks!🤗🙏

@bkh5746

4 ай бұрын

Catholic religion is horrible.the people worship the priests and keep them from prosecution. I know a guy who blew out his brains in church parking lot bc the priest used to use him like a woman.thats no joke either.guy had all he could take.its trash and its bad for you.

@ee.eeEugEnEeee.eaQ7carrnvaehEQ

3 ай бұрын

Only? HahahaYou're a Funny one Gal, MissedDoor

@joesoap1401

Ай бұрын

Many non Catholics have been to Catholic church services. It's the evangelical ones that I avoid.

@ccrbonline1752

Ай бұрын

And those of us who have 8 Catholic cousins - from one uncle.😅

I am the second to youngest of 12 children, my father named me after his favourite whiskey and my sister Sara after his favourite brand of desserts-this is the absolute truth. So my dad definitely got burned out.

@shirleyrombough8173

3 жыл бұрын

Oh I see: Jack Daniels and Sara Lee? Just be glad he didn't start on ice cream brands. No Hagen Dasz. But if he had two more boys they could be Ben and Jerry. Yum.

@bikinijeanie1963

2 жыл бұрын

She is named Ruth BC she's the baby of the group and a girl? Baby Rooof? Wait a minute bass where's the baby and the dog would always say

@bikinijeanie1963

2 жыл бұрын

Who's the baby? The dog has answer answered already got the house he already answered both questions the baby and what's on top the house all both of them at the same time the dog says Roof. How does mommy like it? Ruff...

@julianarodriguex899

2 жыл бұрын

Your DAD definitely got burned out?!?!

@Tmanaz480

2 жыл бұрын

Kemplin's is my favorite Bourbon.

I'm 53 years old and I just discovered you tonight due to a Twitter post that showed up in my timeline. I've been watching your videos for several hours now. OMG, so funny. You are my new-found favorite comedian. Sharing with everyone I know. Favorite joke from this compilation? "If you've never been to a Catholic Mass, it's still going on." And I can laugh at all of this because I'm Catholic! Well done, Jim! Cheers

@RicardoGarcia-kv8it

3 жыл бұрын

No nooo a Catholic mass is easy compared to the Pentecostal evangelical services where I go lol I want to gooo back pls rescue me JajajaJA!!! I am done with JajajaJA I spoke in tongues I am done ready to go back lol

@kayfitzgerald309

3 жыл бұрын

@jimgaffigan Jim I watched you & ur fam at dinner live last night,,I LOVE LOVE LOVE JEANNE!!! U...ah'ight😉✝️😊luv u too & the kids keep up the great work, btw, one more kid would be a nice round number... Jus saying...ya' know to really keep you & the Mrs. young in your golden years!!! Think about it...🥰

@Dachdogoriginal

2 жыл бұрын

Another brilliant clean comedian is Brian Regan. Especially his "I walked on the Moon" special. I highly recommend. Usually you have to watch it a few times because you're laughing so much you can't hear it all.

@zippydooda

Жыл бұрын

@@Dachdogoriginal Brian is great. One of favorites.

My favorite Catholic joke ever. Especially since the woman telling me was a 90 year old Catholic serious churchgoer. Every day serious. So, this guy dies. And is taking a tour of heaven. His angel guide is showing him around, and says in this room, we have the Protestants, and over here we have the Jewish. Then we have the Baptists there. (Dropping to a whisper) But we have to be super quiet when we pass by this area. So the newly dead guy asks why. And the guide says, “Because they think they’re the only ones up here”.🤫

@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim

2 жыл бұрын

Love it!!!!

@befunkrn

2 жыл бұрын

Very good! And I attend a Southern Baptist church!

@owlnyc666

2 жыл бұрын

😅

@susanivey8853

2 жыл бұрын

An Irish priest told us this joke in his delightful accent, on a religious retreat 40 years ago. He drew the joke out with details and talk of St Peter, and had us howling!

@Jobotubular

2 жыл бұрын

I heard it as a fenced-off area for the Christians, and the dead guy was atheist. So evidently it's possible to make a Christian joke into an atheist joke

This is how you know he's the best comedian. I start watching and realize I've already heard this one and still keep on listening. Love ya Jim!! Thanks for cheering up the quarantine.

@tdbarton7712

3 жыл бұрын

Same!

@ziggyzion5717

3 жыл бұрын

Me too! They never get old and it makes me feel better

@globetrekker86

2 жыл бұрын

@Vickie Johnson: Absolutely. Jim could play the same set of jokes on a loop, and I’d still be rolling. His * inner heckler * voice is priceless

@curtisyost5247

Жыл бұрын

Love Jim as well the catholic faith. I've kept them like a nice practice Grateful

@curtisyost5247

Жыл бұрын

I make it a point. I love to learn even though I've lived some but they're always true

Hilarious, Jim! I'm a Christian on the Protestant side and my two of my three sisters are Catholic. I've been to almost as many Catholic services as Protestant - I got the jokes! Thanks for the laughs!

@rexrocker1268

Жыл бұрын

My mom Catholic my father Protestant. He didn’t worship but sometimes my mother would drag him to church on holidays. He would like fall asleep, or fart and me and my big brother would have to hold back the laughter, as did my father. He was a nut nut.

@remaguire

Жыл бұрын

I'm Irish Catholic. Both my parents born and raised in Ireland. When I was a kid, my sister and I went to NYC with our aunt, our father's sister and she brought us to an Episcopalian service. But not before she made us promise that we wouldn't tell our parents that we did. Attitudes sure have changed since the early 60s! I still chuckle when I think about that.

@akeeperofoddknowledge4956

Жыл бұрын

@@remaguire times certainly have changed!

@marshawalker5273

11 ай бұрын

And I've probably been to as many Protestant services as Catholic. We're good😁

@helengorton894

8 ай бұрын

​

God Bless (and Protect) you and your family Jim Gaffigan

@rp5707

3 жыл бұрын

@julie jones - Are you intentionally leaving out that the bill he supports is only for late term abortions where severe abnormalities and where the life of the mother is in danger, or are just uninformed yourself?

@brettpruefer7541

3 жыл бұрын

@julie jones trump puts children in cages, you cannot support him and be a Christian.

@dafrasier1

3 жыл бұрын

Man Created God. Amen. mcg-truth blogspot

@or2ak

3 ай бұрын

LOL

“Let’s wrap it up I got some sinnin’ to do!” 😆😆😆🤣

@rosannacline4781

7 ай бұрын

😅😅

I was raised by a Baptist minister. I used to envy my Catholic friends. They could go to early mass on Sunday and have the rest of their day off. I had to go to Sunday School, Morning Service, Youth Group and Evening Service. No time to relax at all.

@brendaconkling3762

Жыл бұрын

And don't forget Wednesday Training Union and preaching again AND 2 week revivals

Jim is a great comic. He's so on point and most importantly he's a clean comic. Funny without using vulgar language. One of the best!! Love ya, Jim!!!

I love this guy. Saw him back in Jan. 2020 and he was hilarious. Good, clean fun. Nothing wrong with that. He was fabulous. Loved our garbage plates.

I'm the oldest of five; my Dad was 2nd oldest of 12 (...Irish Catholic). Anything along those lines has me in hysterics! Thank You, My Friend!

Very few comedians keep me laughing throughout their comedy routine like Jim does. He kills me!

I listen to you every night before going to bed, Jim. Thank you for giving me a laugh and making it so I go to bed in joy. Lost my mom last year. You have been a godsend to me during one of the hardest times in my life. Thank you 😊

Thank you Mr. Gaffigan, you and your family, for the work that benefits charities!

When I was a kid in the 90s I tried to watch stand-up comedy with my Dad to see if he'd like any of them. He was a huge Jonathan Winters fan, and didn't really like anything I showed him with the exception of Jim Gaffigan. He especially loved the Catholic jokes, and his favorite was the joke about parents bragging that their kid was Pope, and the one about the kid playing "Pope" in the backyard (My favorite part of this bit is not in this compilation though, "The protestants are frightened of this new Pope"). Wish I could show him your new stuff. Thanks for the laughs, Jim.

Poor St. Bonaventure!😂😂😂 These bits made us laugh so hard we couldn’t breathe! ❤😂😂😂

Love, love, love these jokes and Jim!! I’m a lapsed Catholic married to a religious Shiite Catholic man. Went to the same Catholic grammar school for 8 years. Really enjoyed the sense of community and family….until I grew up! So different once you are able to ask questions and expect an answer. The Bible is so different than our Catechism classes. Keep up the relevant jokes!! 😁👍🏻

Love Jim. As a person raised catholic, these seem funnier to me than it probably should be.

@dylanjones268

3 жыл бұрын

It doesn't matter if your are catholic, another religion or an atheist. Jim is funny, its as simple as that.

@margochristensen7440

3 жыл бұрын

@@dylanjones268 of course it didn't matter. Gaffigan is brilliant. I just meant that it was funnier to me becuz of my upbringing...and his too.

@MrAquinas1

3 жыл бұрын

@@margochristensen7440 Infantile insults to human dignity are not funny and not the product of "brilliance."

@dickon728

3 жыл бұрын

Sorry. Jews are way funnier.

@margochristensen7440

3 жыл бұрын

@@MrAquinas1 I dont have a clue what you're taking about.

I know you've been doing these daily uploads for awhile, but since I just discovered them a couple days ago, I want to thank you. Quarantining, diminished work, pandemics, and virtual schooling has been [fill in blank]. I so appreciate the little reprieve and bursts of laughter these provide.

Oh, yes, one year before Christmas, we had one of those confession paloozas where extra priests come and people line up in different areas for different priests. The lines were extra long, and when I got up to “my” priest, he said “There are a lot of people here. Just give me the biggies.”

#God Pocket. Jim Gaffigan is curing my depression. I've binge watched him for 2 days and I cannot stop laughing. I haven't laughed this much in years. I feel great. Of course depression is serious and this is not meant to suggest otherwise. I thought I'd try laughter instead of ice cream. Thx Jim.

@janniechoquette8828

3 ай бұрын

Listen to his story about vacation in Alaska with his family 😂. It's a true story 🤣

@harpinpoem

26 күн бұрын

I agrée! Me too! Another great catholic comedian is Kathleen Madigan. Her routine about the nuns admonishing her not to “bother Jesus” is hilarious. Watch funny stuff over and over instead of the bad news.

I was raised in a Catholic Family. I couldn't stop laughing . you nailed it .wow thank you. Wish my 5 older sisters and brother were alive to enjoy your show . you're my favourite comedian. Thankyou . 3cheers from Canada

@mrsmacca126

Жыл бұрын

Holy shirts and pants. FUNNY!!!

@garyroehl6641

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for you being raised Catholic. Hopefully before you die you’ll get over it.

Thank you Jim! This pandemic has stifled laughing but your comedy routines restores my laughter every day. Love it!

I'm convinced. Jim Gaffigan is the funniest comedian today. Bravo, Jim.

@joneejonee

Жыл бұрын

HEAR HEAR!

@nathanrobinson1595

9 ай бұрын

@@joneejonee😂loppplpp pop

@nathanrobinson1595

9 ай бұрын

Llopp

@nathanrobinson1595

9 ай бұрын

🎉p o ppp😂pop🎉🎉🎉🎉😂p poo pop

@nathanrobinson1595

9 ай бұрын

Lp opp poo poop p poop p

I’m a Catholic and I love your humor!

Your morality is authentic and I appreciate you so much! Keeping speaking your mind. I'm not on Twitter but agree with you 100%.

How is it possible that Jim Gaffigan looks better now than he did on that Comedy Central stand-up special years ago. The man ages like fine wine

@slendveny7191

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe he killed the other Jim.

@wendi2819

2 жыл бұрын

He actually has more hair now. Still trying to figure that out.

@Nestor123057

2 жыл бұрын

@@wendi2819 I think it's called hair implants. It was a good idea.

One time, when my grandmother and I were going to Confession before Easter for the first time since Christmas (LOL, Catholics will get that), she told me she was WORRIED because she only had one sin to tell Father: she had dropped a jar of pickles and said “G-d damn!” I told her I was sure she could think of a couple more if she thought really hard.

@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHim

2 жыл бұрын

Lol if I can’t think of anything then I can just say “the sin of pride, believing myself to be perfect!”

I love the catholic jokes! Keep em coming. I’m a catholic and love joking about it too :)

@Crimethoughtfull

Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of the Dara O Briain joke about "even an atheist is just a bad Catholic".

@roberthsu1748

Жыл бұрын

I am also... But I have NEVER heard SO MANY jokes. LOL!! All TRUE, lol!! I loved the joke about Pope John Paul II./St. John Paul the Great!! What was ur favorite?

I love my Catholic friends when I need a hand with say... a roof / drywall / concrete project.... just ask them... it's like they HAVE to help you... my Dad called it the Catholic Guilt... they gotta help their neighbors... even the Methodists.

@NoudlePipW

3 жыл бұрын

You wanna see some serious Catholic Guilt, have sex with someone from Ireland. Even the Atheists here have Catholic Guilt 🤣

@NoudlePipW

3 жыл бұрын

@Michele Carter We really don't have as many redheads as people think...

@wolfthequarrelsome504

3 жыл бұрын

Are you laughing at them?

@wolfthequarrelsome504

3 жыл бұрын

@@NoudlePipW you need a brain transparent.

@NoudlePipW

3 жыл бұрын

@@wolfthequarrelsome504 🤣 I'd rather not have a transparent brain like yours, thanks.

I’m a cradle Catholic from Philadelphia. Hilarious! Keep ‘em coming!

Cover that up with Carmel, then get back to me. Love the Apple joke😂😂😂😂

I am 66 years old. When I was young, the Catholic mass was over an hour…with a lot if Latin, and the priest had his back to the congregation for a lot of it. Last time I went to mass (about 25 years ago) it was less than 45 minutes (maybe 30-ish), and the priest spoke only English and faced the congregation throughout…and they expected you to shake hands with the person next to you.

@johnplunkett6864

Жыл бұрын

Come on back

@at_brunch3852

11 ай бұрын

Yeah. That was weird. Then covid hit. 🆘

Me and my five kids are part of the the "Latter-Day Saints for Gafffigan" crowd. And we loved the RNC Convention Twitter tirade. Keep it coming Jim! ;-)

@dafrasier1

3 жыл бұрын

Daybell, Zombies and LDS, Mormons. great group. Do not starch your magic underwear.

@Gcwbigs

3 жыл бұрын

Hey d******, quit making the rest of us look stupid. You're not helping

@dafrasier1

3 жыл бұрын

@@Gcwbigs ?? Catholics and LDS Mormons; make Humanity look stupid.

Hey Jim. I just saw your latest tweets. You are a great man!

@devodavis6454

3 жыл бұрын

I'm with you, he nailed it!

@chkchrycla

3 жыл бұрын

@@trevormatthews8374 If that is what you grasped from his tweets then you are an idiot.

Best story I've heard lately: "You know, I used to believe in the miracle of the loaves and fishes until I realized that Campbell's can get 10.000 cans of noodle soup out of one chicken.

I'm Cathiolic, and I find all of this hilarious!

@cristianaoliveira7878

2 жыл бұрын

No you’re not.

@sojournerkarunatruth4406

2 жыл бұрын

I clicked on this video to compare Jim Gaffigan to Ricky Gervais; Jim is a lot more relatable, like ‘dad joke’ relatable and Ricky is feelings that everyone ‘pushes down’ and futility, attempts to deny, relatable 🫣: I’m an atheist so I don’t believe about 2700 gods. And a Christian doesn’t believe 2699 👀 🫠

After looking at Jim’s KZread analytics over the last couple days, it turns out all those people who said they were unsubscribing did not unsubscribe.

@youtube-ventura

3 жыл бұрын

I did.

@Pulpgimp

3 жыл бұрын

youtube ventura.nu but you’re back to his latest video giving it a view and comments.

@toddb930

3 жыл бұрын

How do you look at a KZread channel analytics?

@dlxmarks

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe they're still figuring out how to unsubscribe.

@stanw909

3 жыл бұрын

I sort of expect such things from artistic types. If I canceled everyone who has a different political belief than me , I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything. He made a little quip in his Canadian show about our president (didn't say Trump's name ) being a child and it passed rather quickly so I was able to enjoy the rest of the show. If he had gone on and on about it,I would have just turned it off. I'm a performer and would never subject my audiences to politics. People go to shows to escape from all that stuff. I wish Jim well and hope he can separate comedy from politics.

My favourite comic! Love how he just flows and delivers. That's what she said!

I’ve been in a mood for the past week so I’ve been binging on your videos last night and for the past few hours; and Jim, you’ve lightened my mood so much that the dark cloud has passed. Thank you for making me laugh again and again.

I'm the youngest of 7 in a catholic family. 18 years younger than my only sister! And, yes, I am spoiled! I'm 60 now,but I'm still spoiled! And I love it! These jokes were great! Thank you!

Thank you Jim, for getting out of your comfort zone and speaking truth to power! I am really heartened to see someone so non-political say enough is enough and try to pull people away from facism. You just gained a subscriber.

@mmc1730

3 жыл бұрын

I guess you're okay with the peaceful protesters that executed a "Trumper" last night in Portland because enough is enough and he should have been on the side of the party of tolerance

@ryanscarcella3994

3 жыл бұрын

@@mmc1730 umm... Do you know what the words peaceful protester mean?

@ryanscarcella3994

3 жыл бұрын

@@mmc1730 also, a trump supporter shot three protesters in Kenosha the otherday and killedtwo of them. Funny how you don't bring that up

@mmc1730

3 жыл бұрын

@@ryanscarcella3994 umm do you know the meaning of sarcasm? You should watch just about anyone of the news networks that report from these riot scenes and call them peaceful protests as buildings burn in the background. And the shooter you refer to was not there as part of any pro Trump statement. I don't support what he did but he stated that he was there because he wanted to help a store owner that was desperate to not see his store looted and burned. He was also offering first aid to anyone regardless of affiliation because he was trained as a medic.

@mmc1730

3 жыл бұрын

Again, no defense of what that kid did but not everyone that is against seeing cities destroyed is a Trump supporter

Most people in my family are Catholic. I'm an atheist, but I spent a lot of time at Catholic church as a kid. These jokes are hilarious!

@davidmmm8

3 жыл бұрын

Same exact scenario for me as well Amanda 😇

@geodude7116

3 жыл бұрын

Same here. Devout catholic upbringing, but now a non-believer. Agreed these are damn funny.

@desleykakoulidisgallaway3382

3 жыл бұрын

Same here with the ‘orthodox’ there’s a contradiction in the name. It’s funny ‘cos it’s true

@glennryan646

2 жыл бұрын

Born and raised Catholic, love the faith more than ever.

@jasont5427

Жыл бұрын

Catholicism is the biggest tool the adversary of our souls (satan) has used against us. It's not biblical at all. They do not want you reading the bible for yourself but only blindly follow their false man made religion (Catechism). They MURDERED 60 million Christians during the Inquisitions for not believing in their false doctrine, hence the PROTESTants... What ever happened to "thou shalt not kill"???? No wonder so many have fallen away from believing in our very Creator... I became an atheist at the "wise old age" of 16 lol due to Catholicism. Then He woke me up to His glorious Truth 7 years ago and I've never felt more JOY in my entire life then walking with Him. For those who have the ears to hear, let them hear...

Gaffigan is possibly the wittiest (not a word?) comedian alive. Jokes are clean, to the point and honestly i think ANYONE can relate to. Having a great wife and kids rounds him out. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. Thanx for that man!

@3:36 I love that he mentions that XD "It's still going on!" Yep- there's even a group of nuns that have Eucharistic Adoration covered 24/7.

OM*! A joke about St. Bonaventure! He’s my man. You can’t get a card or a medal or anything of Bonaventure. All kinds of saints you never heard of, patrons of drunks, cancer patients, garden veggies-they all have little medallions and statues and cards. But even if Bonaventure ain’t got bling, he now has a joke. Jim Gaffigan, you’re one of a kind. Thank you for making the Lockdown less of a downer with all of your videos.

@roisinobrien8408

3 жыл бұрын

There's a college named St Bonaventure.

@awkwardlyrachel5524

3 жыл бұрын

Now I know who to appeal to for those issues.

@lisa4candlz

2 жыл бұрын

lol that joke came on just as i got to your comment

My mother was a big Catholic... I am pretty sure she used to make up Holy Days just so I would have to go to church.

@buggymah

3 жыл бұрын

There are a lot of holy days of obligation. For example I think there’s a solemnity on august 15

@bellanitocortez-rodriguez9235

3 жыл бұрын

🤣

@Sweendogization

3 жыл бұрын

How big was she?

@nickinurse6433

3 жыл бұрын

Of course your mom was Catholic O'leary....lol

@andrewmcgregor9691

3 жыл бұрын

lol

I laughed at all of your jokes. My wife, who is Catholic, not as much.

@davidmmm8

2 жыл бұрын

Wives tend to side with whatever entity that allowed for the creation of their babies. And most innocent women turn to God. Just absolutely amazed they become.

@richardharris8538

2 жыл бұрын

Scotty, it's best not ever to laugh at one's wife.

@scottydouglass1892

2 жыл бұрын

@@richardharris8538 Only when she is not there.

@sewingintrifocals-alisonde7778

2 жыл бұрын

@@philipmartin2919 , great show, that (Fr. Ted).

@evangelineholseberg2631

2 жыл бұрын

@@philipmartin2919 I

I have a "nun clicker" used at mass when we were kids, to make us stand up, sit down and kneel on cue. I use mine to wreak havoc at Christmas midnight mass, and at funerals. I can get people jumping up and down on a click!

When I was 5 years old and up till maybe 10 year old , Mass was in Latin .I still remember the words .3cheers from Canada

@pfranks75

3 жыл бұрын

Patricia Hopey Dominoes and biscuits!

@geraldfrost4710

3 жыл бұрын

@@pfranks75 Dominoes, Orieos, and NaaaaaBiiiisco!

@TheRakuman

3 жыл бұрын

Latin… because the Catholic leaders don’t want you to read the Bible. It in truth, exposes all their hypocrisy. Have you ever had a catholic priest encourage you to read the Bible? Oh, I’ll answer that for you, no!

@herrschmidt412

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheRakuman I mean...my Priest is constantly telling people to form Bible study groups and read the Bible but if you say so I guess

@emiliadavis8247

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheRakuman Sadly, no. I grew up Catholic, but left as an older teenager when saved and born again in an Assemblies of God summer camp. It was like night and day! An immediate desire to read my Bible, christian books, tell others about Christ.....discovered christian radio.....My immediate response going to a Catholic mass a couple weeks later, was, wow, these people don't know what they're missing. They don't know Christ. So very sad.

I loved Jim just chatting with Jesus.

I've been through the WHOLE Catholic experience, and I clicked "like" before you were finished introducing this video.

I still appreciate the work you did for us during the pandemic. Thanks Jim!

Thanks for the laughs on Sunday. Jim you find the humor everywhere. Would a miracle be giving up your favorite food?...Oh wait that's Lent. That Saint job is a hard one to apply for.

T-Shirt idea: Make America Gaffigan! :)

@thehbomb9598

3 жыл бұрын

I want this shirt!

@contessajones5619

3 жыл бұрын

That’s funny!!

@detroitwarrior888

3 жыл бұрын

Just so you know-he just came out, full libtard and bashing Trump, with a bunch of lies and nonsense. Clearly listens to fake news, and researches nothing, poor guy. Bye Gaffigan, you lost a fan (and all my family)...you’re entitled to your own opinion, but NOT your own facts! #TRUMP2020

@gent8940

3 жыл бұрын

@@detroitwarrior888 Yes, that's why we love him. What did you think he was all this time? There's no such thing as a funny conservative.

@pfswafa

3 жыл бұрын

@@detroitwarrior888 Cult 45 Covidiot....

thank you Jim for all these compilations!

Love love love this guy. So funny 😂. As a lapsed Catholic I totally relate.

@kathleenferguson3296

Жыл бұрын

I'm a collapsed Catholic!

I'm a Catholic and this is HILARIOUS!! Haha!

Whether you are Catholic or not, THIS STUFF IS BRILLIANT!!!

@nowvoyagerNE

2 жыл бұрын

i've never been a catholic but i am recovering from marriage to a catholic. that ought to be worth a couple of points.

@mwidunn

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah, . . .no. Gaffigan is as funny as the Permanent Deacon doing a set for the annual "Doo-wop Dinner & Dance" at the KofC Hall.

Thank you Jim for bringing some humour in my life. I need it so much as I get sicker with time. Thanks again.👍👍👍😉😉

@clairelivefreeordie2551

2 жыл бұрын

Hope you're feeling better James ⚘

@simmiedavissimmiesings8185

2 жыл бұрын

I command the Spirit of infirmity to leave you now. In Jesus's name.

@madyjules06

2 жыл бұрын

James, my heart goes out to you Sincerely hope you’re feeling better

As a former Roman Catholic, I agree with all of this 🤣

@tibosabins

2 жыл бұрын

This routine made me laugh till I hurt. "Could you keep the praying down, I'm checking out the ladies." So "Holy Rosary, Caribou, Maine, 1960s"

@francescalegrand4520

2 жыл бұрын

Me too.

@batissta44

2 жыл бұрын

Are you atheist or agnostic?

@Liz-cmc313

2 жыл бұрын

@@batissta44 ... Atheist

@batissta44

2 жыл бұрын

@@Liz-cmc313 may the force be with you

I don’t Tweet but do Tube. I wanted to express my support of your comments on Twitter. Keep speaking and keep up the comedy. I support you with both.

@ryanscarcella3994

3 жыл бұрын

@@mindofmayhem. Hey genius, 3 people thatwere protesting an unlawful killing by the police were just shot by some rightwing nutjob in Kenosha. Two of them died. The Orange Turd refuses tocondem the killer.

Jim, you’re amazing! Thank you for all the comedy, I watch with my teenager kids and they love you.

Jim, not only are you insanely funny but you seem like an awesome guy.

"Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?" Lol!!! He must have one hell of a gall bladder

I wore a CATHOLIC T-shirt to pick up my Thanksgiving pumpkin pie; an elderly lady toward the end of the line, walked around to get a good look at the front of my T-shirt, and said, “Oh, CAT HOLIC” ...I was shocked, told her I was allergic to cats.... it actually was a funny, awkward situation.. True story..

You’re killing me ! ! 🤣🤣🤣 With laughter. You’re the funniest comedian ever, my kids LOVE you 😃

Having been brought up Irish Catholic gone to three Catholic schools and wore three different Catholic uniforms I can definitely relate with everything Jim says!

his jokes on religion are my favorite

Jim you're one of my favorite comedians ever. Wishing you and the Gaffigan clan the best!!!

Five kids? You really are a Catholic. Great mind. You've made me laugh more than anyone. Glad my hernia is healing well.

1:18 so true. I was rsised catholic and when I was a child I would always fall asleep, my grandmother would say "the devil is putting a spell on you", and I woke up all scared. OMG, I couldn't see all of it because I couldn't stop laughing, I was in tears.

@irene_f.

Жыл бұрын

😬

Oh, man...my boy Jim. Never tire of your wonderfulness. I can be having the worst possible day (and hey, I often DO!) and I refuse to stay upset once my brain remembers, "...without the express written consent of major league base baaallll." Thank you for all your efforts through all the past year's horrors. We owe you big time, Jim. 👏💕😊

As someone who went to Catholic school I thoroughly enjoyed this 🤣

@illfather7066

3 жыл бұрын

I went too 1 through 12...not sure how I feel about it in hindsight...lol

"Let's wrap it up. I got some sinnin' to do!" We're gonna sing all 12 verses of the hymn. In Latin, then English. :)

@szqsk8

3 жыл бұрын

Donna Mirabito In Latin and English. Been there/done that. It's the longest day of your life, especially if it a High Mass.

@factsoverfiction7826

3 жыл бұрын

Lol! For some reason I hear Brian Regan gregorian chanting 🎶 "Pahhhnncaaakes"🎶🤔

@davidmmm8

3 жыл бұрын

I always wonder how the Jewish Jesus could ever jive with Indians Gods and Chinese Gods... etc etc Total mismatch there. 🤓😇🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@wolfthequarrelsome504

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah... Coz Jesus spoke English, Right?

@wolfthequarrelsome504

3 жыл бұрын

@@davidmmm8 "Because they're is only one God. and all the gods of the gentiles are demons" Psalm 95:5 Douay Rheims bible.

My father in law was editor of a Catholic Literary Magazine out of Chicago from the 60s into the 80s called The Critic. He had a wry sense of humor and they had the best cartoonists of the time create cartoons for the magazine. You would have enjoyed it.

The "opening for the Pope" part makes me cry of laughter every single time

I went to a catholic wedding once which included a full nuptial mass. It was like a diversion from the wedding ceremony. Even Catholics not invited to the wedding wandered in off the street to take part.

@harryfaber

3 жыл бұрын

All are invited to all services in every church, and a wedding mass is special, so for that matter are baptisms and 'first communion' services.

@gabriellesullivan4772

5 ай бұрын

Catholism means all welcome, a used to be friend of mine always has derogatory comments about RC knowing I was one. He said the priest in mass always crapped on other religions , what a crock. Have been to many cathedrals and churches ,and other religions.. moving on Jim is hilarious..thanks for the laughs 😊

Always so dang funny 😂 Also, I was NOT ready for young Jim Gaffigan. I have never seen videos of him from that long ago!

I went to my friend's Catholic Wedding, I was exhausted when it was over.

Thank you KZread for free whenever, I need a good gaffigan-laugh-agin! Thanx for being here Big boy and for sharing your entire family too! We all love y'all

@Frances-fl5qf

10 ай бұрын

I love your shows Jim. Just to let all know Catholics do know the Bible.every mass there is a readings from the OT, NT, and Psalms.its part of our DNA. It's a myth that we do not use the Bible.blessings to you all.

Love you and your family. Please keep posting!

I enjoyed your jokes about patron saints of whatever- definitely more of those!!!

Your daily videos really helped me get through this pandemic. ❤

I like his humour, clean and really funny. He does tongue in cheek stuff about his faith. And everyday life. I love that!

You’re awesome, Jim!

"Did I go to Wendy's twice yesterday?"

@michellejohnson5116

3 жыл бұрын

That one-liner is gold.

Hilarious. I'm a good Catholic very devout and it's still hilarious

@dontgettoknowm9864

2 жыл бұрын

I am a DEVOUT ATHEIST and I was not offended by any of this. I enjoyed it too. Glad you did.

Alway love watching these makes my day

Thank you! I love your stuff. I fell in love with your act when I heard you first on Bob & Tom radio program. I've been a fan ever since.

How can you tell a Catholic and a Baptist in a liquor store? The Catholic will say hi! The Baptist will hide. Love your stuff, keep it going.

@bfarzady5212

3 жыл бұрын

Is that meant to be a joke?

@DianaSanchez-oi5kb

3 жыл бұрын

Good one!😂😂

@bfarzady5212

3 жыл бұрын

Great Christian 'humor'

I just discovered these jokes today (11 Aug 2022). My wife came to see why I was laughing so loud. I am a Catholic, and like to joke about it with my fellow Lutherans, Presbyterians, Anglicans, etc. with whom I work on ecumenical humanitarian initiatives. Thanks for giving us these fresh new jokes.

@jorgeguanche5327

Жыл бұрын

Donde vives...en un santuario hippie???

You are awesome pale Jim! You’re the best! Thanks for entertaining us!!