I think her ( sara) husband should absolutely leave. This will not Change

@nakiaharper276

Ай бұрын

If this was reversed he was the abuser they say leave him. Gotta love a double standard.

@perfectlyimperfect9129

Ай бұрын

And take those kids far away!!

@LindaEckertBallard

Ай бұрын

@@perfectlyimperfect9129 The kids are already going to be adversely affected by what they have already seen/heard but sadly when these divorces between parents with children .. Selfish partners always use the kids to control their spouse...one way or the other the kids will not be mentally healthy when their moms and dads go away,

@mariannehavisham8323

Ай бұрын

It might change. He should leave anyway

At some point, she needs to take accountability for her behavior. She's an adult, a wife, and a mother. Grow up.

@nancymorris995

Ай бұрын

I agree. And I so don’t get how she was taken by surprise that he would be gone a lot… He’s in the military, lady!

@akaya714

Ай бұрын

At some point you mean, she needs to take accountability as soon as she knows right from wrong which is before you are a legal adult. 6 year olds know right from wrong so I’m completely confused by this it’s absurd

Telling a man who has been brutally beaten and has had his mother’s face bashed in by his abusive wife that he has to abstain from divorcing her? That is reckless and wrong. I usually agree with Dr. Phil, but this is beyond comprehension.

@howulikethemapples

Ай бұрын

this made me so angry. the advice should have been the same he would have given a woman. leave and stay away

@Lynnda86

Ай бұрын

There is ALWAYS hope for someone to change. I agree 100 to protect the children AT ALL COSTA, but that woman deserves a chance at redemption. We ALL do!

@wendyhardin5259

Ай бұрын

Oh good The Experts are showing.

@a.b.2850

Ай бұрын

@@howulikethemappleshe doesn’t say differently to women btw

@rustynails8756

Ай бұрын

I know his philosophy is to be sure to do everything before divorce to try and save the marriage so you know you have given your all. In this case there are children and a woman who admits she has a problem and is seeking help

He needs to divorce her and take custody of the kids. She can have supervised visits. Those childres will not be spared her wrath.

Child and spousal abuse - she should be sent to jail

If it was the husband being abusive, would he be telling the wife to give him 45 days? I find that very strange.

Husband is at risk, not from just her violence, but having his life, career, and reputation ruined. She will happily make up stories about him.

WHY are they still together? Why are children subjected to this dangerous situation?

He needs to get custody of the children sole custody at that and divorce Sara!!!!!!!!

Leave her and take the kids.

"there comes a time when you gotta RISE ABOVE YOUR RAISING!"💯

@mariannehavisham8323

Ай бұрын

It's hard though.. impossible for some people.. some people have wounds so deep they never heal

fighting with your husband when he gets home from iraq😭😭😭

@andreajones886

Ай бұрын

epic!

@andreajones886

Ай бұрын

priceless

Divorcing her is protecting the children!!!!!

She says the possibility of spending a year in jail terrifies her?! Damaging her kids for life should be her biggest fear.

@maxamillion26093

Ай бұрын

Especially when she went through the same thing with her own parents

@libbypaige6160

Ай бұрын

@@maxamillion26093 yeah exactly! She should be hyper aware.

Just wow. A man is supposed to put up with abuse. If this was the other way around the he would have been vilified. She is a victim and he needs to stay with her? wtf. and I'm a female btw

@sr2291

Ай бұрын

The public is in denial about female predators. The male is usually blamed.

@jayboogie5669

Ай бұрын

💯 I couldn't agree more. I found this episode just to say this ! It's not fair because he's a man he needs to stay and put up with it. NOPE 🙅🏾‍♀️

@crystalsswtor3760

Ай бұрын

Exactly! There is NO excuse on EITHER side to put up with abuse. It's ridiculous!

She can blame all she wants but it won’t solve anything. Until she gets into therapy and works through her issues, her husband needs to take custody of those kids and go. PERIOD.

If it was a man abusing his wife, they would tell him to leave and take the kids with him.

How is she being allowed to raise children?

He needs to leave and take his children with him. Dr. Phil should be ashamed of himself

@debo398

28 күн бұрын

Dr. Phil asked him to give him & his team 45 days to to help her...he also told him that his primary responsibility was to his children...the children were not to be around their mother unsupervised...but the children deserved to have both parents if possible...waiting 45 days while she is in therapy is not too much to ask...if she refuses therapy...the husband can file for divorce and permanent custody of the kids. She won't have unsupervised access to the kids as long as Dr. Phil is involved and if she refuses help Dr. Phil WILL notify whatever CPS has jurisdiction that she is violent and should NOT have contact with the kids unsupervised.

Young man take your kids and run don't walk away from her

Wow this woman is unbelievable.

I hope this woman gets the help she needs. This is a terrible environment for children to be in. This whole situation is very bad.

If she was a soldier like he was, I would absolutely want her to get help, I would want her to get better and have him help her. She’s not a soldier.

She should go to jail.

She’s not going to change. He has every right to leave.

He needs to take the kids and leave her. She can work out her problems alone.

You learn SELF CONTROL Sarah. This is a you problem.

Legal separation and the father has full rights to the children. She gets the help she needs. IF he decides to go with couples counseling afterwards, so be it, otherwise file for divorce with full custody of the children.

@lizg.8626

Ай бұрын

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 this is a great solution! She has not had to suffer any real consequences and she should have a long time ago. People like this don’t take these things seriously unless they hit rock-bottom. I cannot believe Dr. Phil would insist that this poor man stick around just in case he can magically cure her. What about the protection of this man and all he has endured and their children?

"It is premature to divorce her." It is not. It is utter malpractice and insanity to tell a spouse that has physically abused them and their family members to say, "it's too early to divorce her. I can fix her in 45 days." How about, he divorced her for his own sanity and safety. You take your magical 45 days. He comes back IN A YEAR, and sees what's there. The above is why this man is a quack and a carnival barker.

Huh?! Give me 45 days to turn this around?! Dr Phil, I don’t agree with you. This woman beats up her husband, her mother-in-law and her 2 year old daughter 😮 Those little children are first and foremost above everything else! She won’t change, her parents won’t change. Those babies are in danger! If I was this guy, I’d grab my children and keep running. Her behaviour is set in stone 😮 Physical abuse and mental abuse stick with you. You can’t erase the pain with the flick of a switch. It doesn’t work that way. I wish this man his children and family the very best lives. God help them 😢

The reason she did that to her mother-in-law is because she COULD!

Wtf? Would Dr Phil tell a woman who is being physically abused to not divorce her husband? This is wild.

@joywebster2678

Ай бұрын

He said " premature" not to never divorce her.

@KC1up

Ай бұрын

Exactly. Can you imagine if it was the other way around & the husband beat up his wife & mother in law?

@joywebster2678

Ай бұрын

@Happypaleandfree its an inaccurate declaration. That's the point. Confabulation of Dr Phil's point. Hecwas saying let us fix her issue, then decide for the sake of the kids. But the comments here are determined to make it a sexist issue against Dr Phil. THATS the matter.

You need to spend that time in prison because you know why you get angry and you still wont' take responsibility for it? You would never EVER be allowed in my house again if you ONCE put your hands on me.

Yeah, I don't think she's a victim here. If she were a man, she'd have been incarcerated a long time ago.

This woman is CRAZY!!!! She should be in prison!

@reneepallo7779

Ай бұрын

She needs counseling. And maybe some medication

@nakiaharper276

Ай бұрын

She needs to go to prison.

I get what Dr Phil is saying to a point, but he has NEVER said this stuff to a male abuser. I cannot imagine him telling a female, multiple times domestic abuse victim, to stay with her abuser. Is he right about why she abuses? Likely. Could he help her change? Also likely. But that doesn't mean the abused husband should stay. That history will never be erased.

Dr. Phil is wrong. I'm so glad he doesn't hit back because she's the type of woman who woud abuse that saying I can call the cops and get you in jail for years claiming you're the abuser so you better not tell any one or I will. I hope he got the help they needed and that she was able to overcome her anger, but I would have said you need to take those kids and get a restraining order until she is cleared by a therapist that it is safe. Your first priority is those kids.

Omgosh...this is awful. How disturbing

She needs to STOP! He should divorce her, and have her arrested if she assaults him again.

where are they now? Need to follow up on the things you preach

Her husband has given her so many chances. Yes, childhood abuse, neglect, etc do have problems later in life. But there comes a time when you have to seek treatment and face reality. Some of us had horrible childhoods but we grow up and decide to be better than what we had. If that means treatment, seek it. Find it. Let the family help you.

Sara first needs to take full accountability,&& responsibility for her own actions in order for anything to change going forward!

She's terrified of going to jail and not the fact that she could possibly kill her own husband?!

Ooooh Phil you even got the ladies mad up in here!

Refuses to take accountability, wants to be seen as the victim. When asked why she did something, "I don't know." She has no intention to change. She just wants pity and sympathy.

Wouldn’t say that to a woman who was abused 😂

She needs a thorough assessment, her explosive anger is not normal. It may be wilful, a trauma response, or there could be something not quite diagnosed yet.

I was hit slapped pushed hair pulled shoved into walls and my bottom black and blue.....but I don't hit people. She needs to grow up

She’s dangerous.

I'm engaged to a man who was ill treated by his ex wife..he spent time in prison thanks to her lies and manipulation. Women often use the law against men because they know they can get away with it. He was raised not to lift his hands to women and it got him nowhere. If he hit her back, he would go to prison anyway. Prison is full of men who have been abused by women cause they have been given the 'power' to lie about many many things. I apologise to all men who have gone through this and are going through this. The justice system is a mess and corrupt.

If he DOESN'T want a divorce, there's something wrong with him.

"Perception is reality".

He needs to divorce her. There’s no fixing that kind of anger, and it stopped mattering anyway after he touched his mom. She has to go, and he needs to get full custody of those kids before she destroys them.

She needs therapy...he needs therapy...her whole family needs therapy. The husband needs to focus on his children...they do not need to be around their mother.

Seriously? Premature to divorce her? Why not separation and let them live separately from her? This is dangerous!

I get anger.. but this a total absence of a frontal lobe.

I was brought up with my mother and step father who hit me so much that marks were still on my back on my wedding day. This only happened after I showed the Welfare what my face looked like from after he smashed my face again and again against the wall. I was put away from in a place of safety until the courtcase against my step father.

Guilt tripping him into staying with that abusive woman? Really?! What does he always say? The only thing worse than being in an abusive relationship for a year is to be in one for a year and one day. Practice what you preach. He doesn't deserve that nor do his children. He needs to take them and leave

Fella, my advice to you is to move into the barracks on the base, an extreme case of toxicity.

@kimberlys.7097

Ай бұрын

The kids poor kids

Dr Phil just shut up , she’s an adult she knows what’s wrong and right so stop blaming the parents

In America yelling in your house in front of kids is considered abuse so I’m perplexed what makes this any different? She’s violent physically and verbally abusive seems like an unsafe environment but she’s a victim of her childhood so let’s not hold her accountable and might as well start preparing for when her kids become just as screwed up as her or worse it’s awesome. I love it.

Would he have told a woman to cool her jets because she wanted to get out of an abusive situation?

Her parents are lying big time. Their level of ignorance is huge. She needs to break away from them, imho. They are very toxic.

What a nut job. I think the guy needs to get away with the kids.

He should divorce her there is no excuse for her to be abusive she should off break those chains stop with excuses.

Once you hit my parents, its over with 🙅‍♀️

This husband is done. I know that look. I’ve seen it first hand. Those “feelings” are gone for him. He’s moved on after he made that decision. Heck… I wouldn’t be surprised if he had another woman lined up.

She is completely toxic. She refuses to take accountability for anything. He needs to take the kids & get out ASAP before she kills them.

The Humanity being shown here is staggering. No wonder I prefer the company of animals over people.

@crystalsswtor3760

Ай бұрын

I learned that when I was a kid. I went through quadruple compared to what this woman went through. She doesn't know what real trauma is, and not once did I cause any of this to happen in my family. I dealt with it all, including my mother almost getting killed. I have no patience for people like this I don't. She would be sitting in jail the first time.

There is a point when the anger becomes a drug. The endorphins and the chemical release takes over. Like a drug addiction, they have to have it. Someone made her angry and now she uses it to high. She needs therapy. You can't blame your parents once you become an adult. You HAVE TO learn to do better. She is addicted to the anger. That's why she is crying. 😢

It's worse for the kids to see their father being abused, but I'm wondering if Dr. Phil was trying to protect him from family court and potential unsupervised visits. Maybe her going through that helped him get custody later on?

She needs the kids taken n he needs to file for divorce.

This episode is frustrating... this dude needs to leave and protect his kids. She needs to clean her act up.

She has been given power because her temper makes everyone afraid of her!.she should not be raising these kids! And her husband should've called the police many times!

In pain or not this lady is gross

Often it’s the person who is being abused who ends up getting in trouble after they hurt the abuser. Often this happens in self defense or after extreme reaction to the abuse. I think she can change AND he should leave. They can be good parents but no one should put up with abuse.

Her mom is the same. Taking no accountability

Sorry, but you don’t get second chances after beating my mother and myself. Give all the excuses you want and take accountability on your own time but the kids and myself will not be apart of it. Dr Phil should never have told him to abstain from divorcing her. That’s beyond reckless, if the kids get caught in the cross fire of her and him getting into it, Dr Phil will be responsible for those kids being exposed to domestic violence. Imagine what that will do to them.

Not an excuse… I got abused by my parents and I’m not abusing my husband or my children. Quite the opposite! I’m determined to never be towards my loved ones, the way that they were towards me during my childhood. Poor kids…

All it’s going to take is for a woman to show him kindness, and that relationship is over. It’s the same thing for women being treated the same by a man of a man was to treat them nicely. They would absolutely leave but there’s a reason he’s holding on because currently he doesn’t feel his value, it doesn’t take much to make a man value and doesn’t take much for a woman to feel valued

Love dr phil

She needs some serious therapy and medication. In our household, where I gotten my share of whipping with belts, extension cords and vehicle snow scrapers. I was rebellious, did things to deserve that, but that doesn’t mean I was gonna react on some type of way by growing up to be violent and make excuses to justify crazy behavior. I grew up and have my children that I did give spankings sometime, but I started talking more to my children and having them understand what is right from wrong. I I pour nothing but love to my children and set an example for them to have a loving home. But not all people are built to change for the better. So I wish this young lady luck and I hope that this young man leaves for his safety.

@stitches318

Ай бұрын

Everyone goes through everything differently. Some kids shake off corporal punishment. Others it stays with them forever and effects them in negative ways

@kimberlys.7097

Ай бұрын

Same I have excellent grown children because I decided to do things a bit different. I wasn’t a bad kid either but the discipline should have been less abusive. My father was abused as a child and grew up in an abusive home. He did his best to control his anger so I’m doing what I can as well. Living and learning everyday.

@lizg.8626

Ай бұрын

You sound like an amazing person and parent. I really admire you for taking something really traumatic that happened to you as a kid and using it to be great mom.💕

Dr phil was wrong for that....

This s man needs to walk away while he still can and to watch his back.

She needs help with her anger

Noo im sorry how can dr Phil tell him to not divorce this maniac? Would he be telling a woman the same thing? That’s terrible. He needs to get as far away from her as possible and find a new loving partner

They get along enough to make two babies (recent). WTF?

borderline personality disorder or sociopathy… she’s not sorry

Question: Was the house harmonious, and did you nurture your daughter and make sure she felt good about herself? Answer: She didn't give us problems until she was twelve or thirteen. Ma'am, that was not the question. In my experience, it is not uncommon for kids to behave in a dysfunctional home when they are young and do not know better. But at a certain point, they realize that their parents are not infallible and that their behaviors, etc., are not normal. Once the parent's misbehavior is understood, kids are less likely to blindly follow rules. This could have been what happened at twelve or thirteen.

I been watching these episodes domestic violence and some people are abusive to each other

I wish someone said to me and my parents what Dr Phil said to this woman and her mother. From the comments below I can see that most people only judge and never actually want to help or get to the heart of the matter. If I had this when I was 19 and struggling my life would have been very different. But because of comments like these people on this comment section my life was much harder than it should have been and my daugther's as well. So to all of you people saying she's an adult and she must grow up - to you I say shut up and listen to the professional.

She looks like Rachel McAdams

@calliecat1191

29 күн бұрын

Yes she does!

BPD?

Get deliverance. It's called demonic possession.

🙏🏼

She wasnt abused ,she is nuts ang trying to be the victim

How u gonna tell him give u 45 days if that man wants to divorce her who are u to tell him wait smh he has to do what's right for him and those children now if the shoe was on the other foot would u be telling her to wait 45 days hmm..🤔

@stephaniela4009

Ай бұрын

He did tell him to protect the children as a top priority. Even if he has made up his mind to separate, the husband should at least be supportive of her healing via professional help. Starting the separation process now will likely harm her further and ultimately the family in the future

Double standards because it’s a woman …excuses

I don't want to be this person but if this was a man beating a woman on a regular bay Dr. Phil would have told her to run away from him as fast as possible🤷🏼‍♀️. So I don't see why it's okay when it's a woman.

Telling this man to cool his jets and stay married to this abusive monster is sick. Cool your jets yeah she beats you yeah she beat up your mother no she is not safe to be around your children and I’ll make sure you’re held accountable for leaving them around her alone but you can’t leave I’ll fix her. Disgusting. He needs to run with his children.